• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• In an interview with the music site Metal Hammer, Manson volunteered: "I'm not afraid to be me... Sometimes you feel awkward being what you're best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I'm back with Evan, that's kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that." ? [Metal Hammer]
• Rachel Uchitel, who initially denied that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, announced that she was holding a press conference today to "make a statement about [her] relationship with Tiger Woods," but then cancelled it at the last minute due to what her lawyer called "unforeseen circumstances." [Extra]
• Rachel Uchitel canceled the press conference after a night of phone calls between her team and Tiger Woods' representatives. Uchitel reportedly has hundreds of messages from their five-month relationship. [Radar Online]
• Some sources say Tiger Woods offered Rachel Uchitel money for her silence, but TMZ says "we have no knowledge one way or the other." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' childhood friend, who is now the president of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia last month for a rendez-vous with Tiger. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs says that during one of her encounters with Tiger Woods he "told me he had done a workout and he was going to do another workout for legs... I said, 'For someone who works out a lot, you sure have small calves!' I remember him giving me the biggest death look. He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, 'I can't grow calves.' And I was like, 'Okay, sorry!'" [Us]
• According to new audio tapes released by the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods was snoring when his neighbor, Jarius Lavar Adams, approached him after his car accident last week. Adams said Woods was bleeding a little from his lower lip but did not smell of booze. [TMZ]
• Another woman has come forward claiming she had an affair with Tiger Woods, bring the grand total to four. "Jenny" called the Bubba The Love Sponge radio show and claimed that she's been seeing him on and off for a year and can prove it because he has an identifiable mole on his left butt cheek. [Perez Hilton]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood was arrested in London last night on suspicion of assaulting his 21-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and released on bail. His rep says: "I can confirm that there was an incident last night and that Ronnie Wood was arrested ... we have no further statement to make at this time." [TMZ]
• Ronnie Wood's 23-year marriage to Jo Wood collapsed after he began dating Ivanova. Their divorce was finalized last month. [AP]
• Sources say Ronnie Wood slapped Ekaterina Ivanova to the ground, then pulled her hair outside a restaurant at 11:30 pm and a restaurant worker called the police. An eyewitness says: "I think they were arguing about her not wanting to go home. He hit her and she was screaming that she didn't want to go with him." [The Mirror]
• It looks like Gwyneth Paltrow will sing again in her new film. She's playing a fallen country-western singer in the new film Love Don't Let Me Down, which is being produced by Tobey Maguire and also stars Tim McGraw and Leighton Meester. [Perez HIlton]
• Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Pancho Villa in the biopic Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers. [Variety]
• Roman Polanski has been moved from jail to an undisclosed location for "security reasons and personal protection" according to Swiss officials, but is still expected to be taken to his chalet in Gstaad tomorrow. [AP]
• A judge has dismissed Jordan's Scott's copyright infringement claim against Stephenie Meyer because he says Breaking Dawn and Scott's 2006 vampire novel The Nocturne have little in common and the "characters in the two works are vastly different." [Publishers Weekly]
• Hayden Panettierre, who is 20, was spotted carrying a case of Coors Light into her friend's house. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says she has a "bruised bone" from slipping during her performance at the AMAs. She told Ellen DeGeneres, "What happened was one of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. We never bargained for that because they always had T-shirts on in rehearsal. So they were barebacked, didn't have shirts on for the performance, and when I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed. it just slipped from under me." [People]
• Nas was arrested for DUI near his home in Georgia in September. [TMZ]
• Nas' DUI case was dismissed because there wasn't enough evidence. Though he admitted to the police that he'd been smoking pot, the drug test "came back negative for drugs, including marijuana." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen wrote on her blog, "I've had laryngitis and bronchitis for about two months and I've just been doing so many gigs and just not resting. I have been to an ear, nose, and throat specialist a few times and they stuck a big camera down my throat. It's not very nice." [Daily Star]
• The National Board of Review's 2009 awards were announced today. Up In The Air was named Best Film, Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Invictus. Precious was not on their list of the year's 10 best films. [The Wrap]
• Julianne Hough may be dating Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill. An eyewitness reports from a bar in Nashville: "They were very affectionate, just hanging out at the table. They stayed for about an hour and enjoyed karaoke. None of them sang, but they just hung with their group. Only a few people noticed she was even there. They didn't make a spectacle of it." [Perez Hilton]
• Mark Wahlberg says there are two seasons left of Entourage on HBO then, "We'll see, there could be more. But then, a movie." [Showbiz 411]
• MTV renewed The Hills for a sixth season... but is anyone still watching? [Perez Hilton]
• Will Smith has put production of Hancock 2 on hold to "spend more time with his family." [Perez Hilton]
• GLAAD released a statement supporting ABC's decision to ban Adam Lambert from Jimmy Kimmel Live and the network's New Year's Eve special. GLAAD says Lambert's performance at the AMA differed "greatly" from rehearsals and "It would appear that the kiss between Adam Lambert and his keyboardist did not factor into ABC's decision ... ABC has a history of positive gay and transgender inclusion that includes featuring kisses between gay and lesbian couples on-air." [TMZ]
• Mick Hucknall of Simply Red is suing his neighbor over the rights to hunt deer, ducks and other birds at their rival game lodges in Ireland. [AP]
• Cynthia Nixon said of the failure of the New York senate to pass a marriage equity bill, "The fight for justice is always long and hard, and while this vote was of course extremely disappointing, we now know with certainty who our friends are and who our enemies are. And, trust me, we won't forget it at election time. It's really a terrible shame that many of our legislators could not bring themselves to support a simple matter of fairness and equality, and have betrayed the majority of New Yorkers who believe same-sex marriage should be legalized." [Advocate]
• Penelope Cruz says, "The musical number [in Nine] had to be sexy... and thinking about the Pink Panther would help get me in the mood ... When I was climbing the ropes to the ceiling, all I could think about was the Pink Panther." [People]
• Penelope Cruz says her relationship with Pedro Almodóvar, with whom she has made four films, has "been growing and evolving gradually. Right now, we get to the set, we look at each other, and I know if he slept the night before, if he's in a bad mood or in a good mood. He is the same with me-he looks at me and he knows what I am thinking. So that makes it easier. But at the same time, he's a very big presence, so I don't get less nervous when I'm working with him now because we are friends-I get maybe even more nervous because I'm always worried about disappointing him." [Interview Magazine]
• Peter Jackson says of his new film The Lovely Bones getting mixed reviews, "The film is a film that we're very proud of, and it's not a film that everyone likes, but I don't know what film is. You know, there's no such thing as perfection; you can't make a film that everybody in the world is going to like, so it just represents their view. The film is about a teenage girl - in some respects, we made it for teenagers." [N.Y. Magazine]

[London, December 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

• Tiger Woods was briefly hospitalized after his car crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside of his home early Friday morning. Woods suffered lacerations on his lips, but is otherwise "in good condition." [Reuters]

• Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, who was not in the car at the time of the crash, was responsible for pulling Woods out of the crashed vehicle by smashing the back windshield with golf clubs and pulling Woods, who was drifting "in and out of consciousness" out of the car. [People]
• TMZ is reporting a markedly different version of the story, however, claiming that Elin scratched Tiger's lips up before the accident, during a fight the two had over rumors that Woods was seeing another woman. Tiger then attempted to drive away, which is when Elin hit the back windshield with the golf clubs and Tiger drove into the hydrant. Oh, dear. [TMZ]
• Woods was reportedly unconscious for six minutes after the accident occurred. [DailyMail]
• Though alcohol has been ruled out as a cause of the crash, "unspecified charges" are apparently still pending. [TimesOnline]
• Ugh: Chris Brown will be interviewed by Robin Roberts for an episode of 20/20 on December 11. [Yahoo]
• The Arabian Horse Foundation has established a scholarship in the name of Patrick Swayze and his wife as a tribute to their "love of the Arabian breed and contributions over the years to AHA youth programs." [Yahoo]
• Kevin Federline pulled out of a radio show appearance in Australia after the station advertised that he'd discuss the possibility of getting back together with his ex, Britney Spears. Says Federline's publicist: "The headline was completely out of context with the interview and Kevin is not getting back with Britney, so he said, 'F... them, I'm not going to do their show'."[News.Au]
• Cate Blanchett says that vacuuming is a "therapeutic" experience: "It's a very satisfying noise when you hear all that grit sucked up from the floor and into the machine." [People]
• Courtney Love spent her Thanksgiving at Scores with actor DJ Qualls, which somehow seems totally normal. [PageSix]
• "The success of the Twilight books comes from the fact that fans can lust after Edward and yet, certainly in the first book, there's no actual sexual contact between him and the series heroine."- Robert Pattinson [ShowbizSpy]
• Rihanna had this advice for the remaining contestants on Britain's X-Factor: "'In this industry, if they can't take the comments that the judges are giving them, then they won't be prepared for this world. This world is a lot more intense and the comments can be a lot worse." [DailyMail]
• Zachary Quinto says that playing Spock hasn't really changed life just yet: "I don't know, maybe I should be chased down the street by rabid Star Trek fans. But I engage fans on a personal level, and I engage them as myself. It's really important that those boundaries are clear, and that's always been the case in my life. It seems to be working." [JustJared]
• David Hasselhoff was hospitalized yesterday after reportedly suffering a seizure. [RadarOnline]
• Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow showed up "practically clutching" each other at a party in Morocco recently, which clearly means they were talking shit about their mutual ex, Brad Pitt, and his tendency to copy their haircuts. [PageSix]
• "I still am a tomboy. I love to go fishing. I love sports. I used to play ice hockey. You know, I think people only see the glamour and the parties, but when I'm at home I'm completely different."-Paris Hilton [People]
• Megan Fox is a big fan of military men: "Every time I've ever come in contact with anybody from the military. You're always the most chivalrous, polite and respectful men I've ever met." [JustJared]
• A cellmate of Roman Polanski claims that the director was given special treatment in jail, including multiple phone calls to his lawyers and his wife and access to the guards at all times via a special call button. [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, plans to release home videos of Lopez sometime next week, despite a $10 million lawsuit filed by Lopez earlier this month. [RadarOnline]
• "I do have a slight disability – I had difficulty trying to express myself properly and music is a release for me. I've grown up a bit, I'm more of a lady. I accept now that my life will never be the same and I don't want it to end. It's OK. It's comfortable on my shoulders right now. I don't feel pressure, I feel a sense of humility."- Susan Boyle [DailyExpress]
• Cobra Starship (or, if you were an early 00s emo kid, Midtown) singer Gabe Saporta had his phone briefly confiscated after he was spotted taking pictures of Lindsay Lohan while she partied. "The security team didn't care that he was the deejay," says a source, "They went up to Gabe, took his camera and erased all of his pictures to make sure there were none of her drinking or looking like she was having too much fun." [PageSix]
• Carrie Fisher admits that it's still a bit weird to hear Paul Simon sing songs about their relationship: "It is kind of trippy 15, 20 years down the line to turn on the radio and hear yourself complained about in song." [DailyExpress]
• OMG, you guys: The Blind Side actually beat New Moon at the box office on Thanksgiving. [EW]
• Despite (or perhaps because of) the controversy surrounding Adam Lambert after his fairly scandalous AMA's performance, Lambert's debut album, For Your Entertainment, is selling quite well. [CNN]
• Zig-a-zag-ouch: Victoria Beckham may undergo bunion-removal surgery after years of wearing super-high heels. "She is suffering from shooting pain from the bunions," says a source, "Normally, she kicks off her shoes in the house, but she has been out so much recently in high heels that she is really feeling it." [NYDN]
• "As a gangsta ass football coach who loved his family and kids and did tha best at everything he did and didn't take shit from no one, ya dig?!"-Snoop Dogg, on how he'd like to be remembered. [Guardian]

• Jon Gosselin's (possibly ex) girlfriend Hailey Glassman says Jon lied when he said he was spending Thanksgiving at his grandma's, and was really snowboarding. [ONTD]

• Tobey Maguire assured his wife Jennifer Meyer she has nothing to worry about when it comes to his love scenes with Natalie Portman in Brothers. It's called "acting." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle cried after singing on The Today Show, and some upstanding person got it on video. [UPI]
  
• Kathleen Turner and her daughter spent Thanksgiving feeding hungry seniors. [NYDN]
• Rashida Jones refuses to answer questions about her possible relationship with John Mayer. How many people can John Mayer be "possibly dating"? [Page Six]
• Tyler Perry is being sued for stealing song lyrics for a song in Madea Goes to Jail. [NYDN]
• A launch date has been set for the Spice Girls musical nobody asked for.[The Sun]
• Jermaine Jackson claims that the recent suicide of the father of the accuser in Michael Jackson's child molestation case proves that Michael was innocent. Many might say the opposite, since the accuser's father was widely criticized for "selling" his son to Jackson for millions of dollars. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila will agree not to sue a porn site that she claims shows her stolen sex tape if they pay her $280k. [TMZ]
• MacKenzie Phillips claims she's been "uninvited" to her family's Thanksgiving this year, which would no doubt be extra-awkward. [Access Hollywood]
• Rihanna's former neighbors are arguing because one of them harassed Rihanna while she lived next door. [TMZ]
• Boy George claims to be off drugs for good. [Daily Express]
• Avril Lavigne was spotted making out with a "dead ringer" for her ex-husband Deryck Whibley the other night. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty could face a murder probe in the death of a man who fell or was pushed off a balcony after an argument with Doherty and others. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has dedicated the latest edition of her Goop newsletter to the memory of her father, Bruce. [The Mirror]
• Eminem says he should be a judge on the British talent show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted in the Bahamas with his ex, supermodel Bar Rafaeli. Those two just can't stay away from each other. [Daily Express]
• With Dubai in financial trouble, Brad Pitt might have to scuttle plans to build a hotel there. Aww. [Guardian]
• I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here's Jordan begs Peter Andre for a reunion. [The Sun]
• Zac Efron says Guardian interview went "to a weird place." [Guardian]
• Posh Spice learned her lesson and left a good tip at Medieval Times during her most recent outing to the theme restaurant/theater. Question: Why does Posh Spice have to go to Medieval Times? [TMZ}
• In addition to every other reason to hate him lately, Michael Lohan is over $15k behind in child support payments. [TMZ]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger owes nearly $80k in back taxes. But probably not for long. [TMZ]

[London, November 10. Image via Flynet]

• A baby for Jay-Z and Beyoncé!?! Apparently they're working on it. [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan was spotted in an alley behind LA's Crow Bar, talking on her cell phone and crying. And, naturally, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]

• Madonna is supposed to go to Brazil to meet Jesus' parents; people are taking this as a sign that an engagement is "in the cards." This paper points out that Madge is 51 and Jesus' mom is 36. Does that happen when Hugh Hefner dates barely legals? No. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is "extremely upset" by a report in Australia that fans stormed out of her Circus tour because she was lipsyncing. A rep says that she is "embarrassed" to be "part of the Australian media" that has "totally inaccurate reporting" and that the article about hundreds of fans leaving is "the biggest lie." [News.com.au, Reuters]
• John Mayer on the Britney lip-sync scandal: "If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you." [People]
• BREAKING: Jay-Z is the new Sinatra. Adjust accordingly. [NY Tmes]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: On! They attended a rugby match together on Saturday. Last month they allegedly had "a rather grown up, intimate dinner" at someplace called Beach Blanket Babylon. [People]
• Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin posed for pictures together in Times Square over the weekend and yet the planet did not self-destruct. [NY Daily News]
• Hmm: Jon Gosselin is going to Hawaii for the wedding of Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino. [TMZ]
• Just what your Monday needs: A chart detailing how Nicolas Coppola became Nicolas Cage. [New York]
• It certainly looks like Bruce Springsteen's concert put Glenn Close to sleep. Unless she is blinking? [TMZ]
• Cate Blanchett looks regal — and yet unreal —on the December issue of Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Iman, Donna Karan and Agyness Deyn were seen teary at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Palrow joins Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl, a film adaptation of the David Ebershoff novel that tells the story of a relationship between the first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. It'll be directed by Thomas Alfredson, who shot the sublime Let The Right One In. [Variety]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has created Four By Two films, a production company which will generate comedies starring Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]
• Oh lord. There's a film in the works called Sheneneh and Wanda — which would star Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence playing their famous female characters. According to this report: "The project originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called Skank Robbers, which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards." Uplifting! [Variety]
• You know how Randy Quaid was arrested for running out on a $10,000 hotel bill? This story, titled "Randy Quaid's Journey From Actor To Alleged Felon," tells you everything you need to know. Apparently Randy exhibited "oddball" behavior back in 2007; his wife Evi called someone a "Nazi bitch" in 2008. [People]
• At the link, six ways Jon Hamm has an impact beyond Mad Men. [NY Daily News]
• Jim Carrey's website is "trippy," and has a "fantastical, psychedelic vibe." It looks like a Dali painting but from someone who likes Canada, hockey and octopi. [NY Daily News]
• Are you interested in seeing Susan Boyle sing on Dancing With The Stars? [NY Daily News]
• Susan Boyle says she is getting back on track, but things were hectic for a while: "My life ceased to be normal when Britain's Got Talent went live… There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks until I changed my number. It was totally out of control, like a steamroller. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, eventually, it can flatten you." [MSNBC Scoop]
• In her new play, Nightingale, Lynn Redgrave takes a look at "the life of Beatrice Kempson, her maternal grandmother, a woman she barely knew and wanted to know better." [AP]
• Dennis Hopper is undergoing an experimental treatment for prostate cancer. "It has great promise," he says. "Everything's good right now." [EW]
• Whee: The Wanda Sykes Show got pretty good ratings! [Variety]
• Michael Jackson's kids helped a dog named Scooby Roo get some wheels. [TMZ]
• Reality show mini series The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty — which focuses on Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon — airs on A&E December 13. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Jackson is looking for $15,000 a month from Michael Jackson's estate. [Mirror]
• "People want an answer of when we'll be back, and I think it's impossible… It's unfair to say when we'll do Fall Out Boy again. It's hard to be creative. You just feel compressed all the time. We just want to let ourselves decompress." — Pete Wentz, whose band is releasing a greatest hits CD. [ONTD via Music Radar]
• "I come from the slums, I come from a hard background, I come from a poor family, and I was a soldier. And I was a soldier in a war that was a little bit different, so I know what I am talking about, more than most people do. With this script, it was as though someone had been reading my thoughts." — Michael Caine on new "urban western" film Harry Brown. [Telegraph]
• "I'm my own worst critic, and I don't need any more negativity in my life. So I go to my Web site and see good reviews and things that make me feel good." — Carrie Underwood likes visiting her fan site. [UPI]
• "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done. I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great." — Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson is still trying to get the Twihards off his back. Or front. Whatever. [People]
• "I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well. I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes. I don't listen to anyone else. That's why I don't have a publicist — I can't stand it if someone's trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake." — Robert Pattinson. [People]
• "Outside London where I lived, there was no gay pub or bar you could go to. And even if you found one, it was 'Knock three times and ask for Louis.' It was horrible living this secret life. You could feel a little bit what it was like to be a Jew in central Europe during a certain period. It was horrible." — Sir Ian McKellan. [Metro.co.uk]
• "You adore music more than anything in the world, you have a great passion. But that doesn't mean you had to marry the lead singer of every band you ever had a poster of on your bedroom wall." — Patsy Kensit — who has married Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Liam Gallagher of Oasis — in a letter to her teenage self. [Daily Express]
• "It would be interesting for people to see that side of me." — 50 Cent would like to be in a romantic comedy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Desperation. I had a sick mom. I wanted to make her feel better. I used to go in there, aged seven or so, and do impressions of praying mantises, weird things, whatever. I'd bounce off the walls and throw myself down the stairs." — Jim Carrey on the origin of his comedic instincts. [Daily Express]
• "It's not just an old person singing covers, no, thank God." — Marianne Faithfull on her new CD. [AP]
• "Every song that you hear on the album has an element of freedom in it. If it's the way that I'm singing, or the style that I'm explaining something. For me, freedom is a big deal — I think for all of us because we're all looking for our wings to fly, to not be held back, to be free to be who we are. So that's another reason why I called it The Element of Freedom." — Alicia Keys. [CNN]
• "I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then last second, I threw on some heels. I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight. I'm over the red carpet being pregnant." — Kourtney Kardashian. [NY Daily News]

• Chris Martin was reportedly spotted kissing Kate Bosworth, a friend of his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow. An eyewitness reports, "At first I thought it might be Gwyneth, but when she came up for air, it was clear the woman was Kate..."

• The "source"(remember, this is Star, people) continues, "I couldn't believe my eyes... There was Chris totally making out with Kate in front of other people." [Star]
• Though Robert Pattinson insists he and Kristen Stewart are "just friends" in this month's Vanity Fair, they spent the night together at Chateau Marmont on Oct. 29. The next day after seeing a screening of New Moon, "Rob wanted a cigarette so he went outside with Kristen for about 15 minutes," said a source. "They were hugging, as Rob was smoking his cigarette and then he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. He had his arm around her almost the whole time." [Us]
• Sean Penn's 16-year-old son, Hopper Jack, was arrested at his Malibu school. Because he's a minor, police won't say why he was hauled in. [Radar Online]
• Reese Witherspoon called the police and identified herself as an eyewitness after two paparazzi got into a scuffle while trying to photograph her exercising. [TMZ]
• According to a Miss California USA press release, the organization has settled its lawsuits with Carrie Prejean. The Statement says, "Carrie Prejean, Keith Lewis, and K2 productions have dropped their claim against each other and wish each other the best in their future endeavors."
• Chidi Uzomah Jr. plead not guilty today to stalking Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• VIDEO: Comedian David Williams grabbed Mark Ronson's crotch at the Concert for CARE in London, then wrestled him to the ground and pulled off his pants, exposing his naked butt to the entire audience. [The Sun]
• Former Stone Roses singer Ian Brown was arrested in London on suspicion of assaulting his wife, model and actress Fabiola Quiroz. Police went to their London home last night after neighbors reported a domestic disturbance. [Reuters]
• Maggie Grace still hasn't signed on to return for the final season of Lost. [E!]
• John Hodgman says there was a joke written for him to say during his Emmy commentary but he didn't get a chance to say it: "If Charlie Sheen had won, we were gonna say, 'What can you say about Charlie Sheen? [Long pause] Not that. No, not that. Definitely can't say that '" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kirstie Alley is about to sign a deal with A&E to do a reality show about her weight struggles and life as a single mom. [Variety]
• Simon Cowell gave £100,000 to 18-month-old British girl Sophie Atay so she can fly to the US for pioneering treatment at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York. The girl's family made a public appeal for £500,000 last week after learning Sophie has a rare form of neuroblastoma and needs treatment within days. [Daily Mail]
• Jermaine Clement says Flight of the Conchords may not return for a third season on HBO. "We've got to write the series, but we've also got to write the songs, and just dividing your time into those two writing tasks is really tricky," he said. [Reuters]
• Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men has the swine flu. "We go all over the world really, so I am surprised it hasn't happened earlier, to be honest," said bandmate Nathan Morris. "I talked to [Stockman] today, and he is doing much better." [CNN]
• In the liner notes to her album Play On Carrie Underwood writes, "Thank you #12," referring to the jersey number of her boyfriend, hockey player Mike Fisher, "You are the most amazing addition to my life! You are such a wonderful person and have had such an amazing hand in the building of this album and in the growth of me as a person. I love you so much! You make my life better in every way! I thank God for you every day... xoxo, Carrie." [People]
• After the release of their greatest hits album, the Foo Fighters will go on an indefinite hiatus. Dave Grohl explains, "I think the band decided to take a break not because we wanted to stop making music, but because we thought the world needed to take a break from us. This greatest hits record — that's the end of something, you know. It's time to move on into this next chapter or another phase. Maybe it will be different in whatever way. I don't know." [CNN]
• Mariah Carey says being unattractive in Precious was, "such a liberating experience and yet humiliating. But I needed that. We all need that, we need to understand how to be humble and it's a difficult business to do that in. But I'm definitely inspired to work out of my comfort zone after this." [Fox News]
• "Edward is actually a really good parallel to fame," says Kristen Stewart. "As a vampire, he has a sad, desolate life — fame is the same." [BlackBook Magazine]

1. She makes bizarro YouTube clips with Gwyneth Paltrow.

See above. According to Jacob Bernstein's Daily Beast piece, Anderson and Gwynnie are still BFFs, and in 2008 they made this weird little promo together (apparently with the help of Oprah's production company) appeared on Oprah together. Note Gwyneth's grim-eyed stare as she tells the camera, "I work out six days a week." Also note what she perceives as her options: "when you're 35, you either starve yourself, or you do serious cardio. But there's no free ride." I get that Gwyneth's job dictates that she have what Anderson calls "a teeny-tiny body," but what's with the second person? When I turn 35, I'm heartily looking forward to neither starving myself nor working out with Tracy Anderson. Also, one YouTube commenter says Anderson's workouts will leave you "looking like skeletors nutsack," which I guess is body-snark but is also too awesome not to quote.

2. She even steals from herself.

In 2007, Anderson didn't have enough money to outfit her LA studio. So she just started taking machines from the Indianapolis facility. As the machines disappeared one by one, she told her Indianapolis clients "the studio was simply undergoing maintenance." Then one day her customers arrived for a class and the studio was completely empty. Invisible treadmills!

3. She never went to Juilliard, worked on music videos, appeared in Cats, or was sponsored by Carnation Instant Breakfast.

She claims to have done all of the above, but the Daily Beast could find no proof of anything in this grab-bag of impressive and unimpressive credentials (Carnation Instant Breakfast?). Tracy Anderson also did not invent the question mark, has not seen Obama's original birth certificate, and cannot turn water into wine.

4. She calls going to jail "bummer times."

In 2006, Anderson was very briefly jailed for the Dickensian crime of failing to pay the chimney sweep. The Indianapolis Monthly and The Daily Beast both persuasively accuse her of living a lavish lifestyle while ignoring her bills, but here's how she describes the whole experience on her website:

There was a period of about 4 years in my life when I went through several "bummer times." During this period, I got myself into an unfortunate situation in which several negative events happened to me because I let someone else take control of every aspect of my life from finances to business documents. My misguided trust led me to take on challenges I would never have dreamed of facing, and these events affected not only my business, but also my personal life and emotions.

That "someone else" is presumably Glynn Barber, an ex-boyfriend whose own version of events is that Anderson convinced him to invest in her business and then bled him dry. It's a little hard to tell who is telling the truth about their relationship, but Anderson wants us to know her side — for our own good. She writes,

To anyone reading this who has felt hopeless or alone, I hope that my story can help you start to find the inner strength that you need to overcome and start healing, because no one else can give you the strength that you can give to yourself.

Tracy Anderson: firming the glutes, uplifting the soul.

Madonna's Trainer Fights Back [The Daily Beast]
Tracy Anderson Method [Official Site]
Tracy Anderson Method : Madonna And Gwyneth Paltrow Workout [YouTube]

Earlier: Gwyneth Paltrow's Celeb Trainer: Financial Charlatan
Celeb Trainer Tracy Anderson Wants To Give Everyone A "Teeny-Tiny" Body

[London, October 12. Image via INFDaily.]

[London, October 5. Image via INF]

• Kim Kardashian, has, obviously, created a perfume. "The fragrance really captures who I am," she says ominously. [WWD]
• Heather Mills continues her controversial career, launching a line of recycled, re-modelled, animal-friendly (good!) clothes (bad. Very, very bad.) [DailyMail]

• Oh, this is good. Philip Simon Footwear Group has teamed up with, um, the U.S. Army, to launch a line of shoes and bags, presumably aimed at Army-strong youngsters. Says the company, seemingly without irony, "We want to create a footwear line that expresses and conveys the ideals of the U.S. Army, but in a fashionable way... The patriotic homage combined with bright accent colors and cool styles will appeal to consumers across the board." [WWD]
• Gisele Bundchen's on the cover of September's Vogue India, and appears in a series of ensembles by Indian designers. Quoth the Brazilian bathing-suit queen, "I like the combination of traditional Indian clothing with an edge — and the fabrics and colours are beautiful." [ONTD]
• Talking about covers, find Lily Allen on British Elle's October issue. We'd have given her September. Okay, maybe not. [Sassybella]
• From WWD: "David Gandy's sculpted torso has joined Scarlett Johansson's voluptuous flesh in Dolce & Gabbana's beauty ads. Four athletic men in their skivvies are shooting hoops around model Stella Tennant in Saks Fifth Avenue's fall campaign. And the muscular limbs of Andrés Velencoso are peeking out from behind Christy Turlington's black leather wardrobe in Yves Saint Laurent's spots. Is it too soon to declare the return of the "himbo"?" Yes. It's always too soon. In fact, I prefer to believe that word doesn't exist. [WWD]
• And he's back! Private equity group Permira Advisers LLP has written down its stake in Valentino Fashion Group - again. Out of the Valentino Red? [WWD]
• Liberty of London is staying defiantly high-end: the iconic London store is teaming up with Hermès, who's running a six-week pop-up scarf and tie shop on the premises. [Telegraph]
• Hopefully this is win-win; Hermès' quarterly earnings fell below expectation. [FT]
• But! J. Crew's crew of adorable kids has done the trick: the prepsters beat Wall Street estimates for the quarter and only see things getting better. [The Street]
• Contrary to rumor, lovable hair-meister Chris March is not suing Beyonce for ripping him off - just Thierry Mugler and Tancrede Prinz LLC, who apparently kept the March-intended monies Beyonce paid them for costume services rendered. "Chris continues to be a fan and great admirer of Beyonce who looks beautiful in everything she wears, especially Chris's costumes." [Blogging Project Runway]
• Speaking of Project Runway: Daniel Vosovic launches a capsule collection in February, inspired by his love of gymnastics. "There is a whole fashion group of gays that go. For at least an hour and a half it's my therapy. When you see the 6-year-old girls walking by with their six-packs and chiseled triceps, it makes you want to be even better." [New York]
• And speaking of exercise: trainer to Madge and Gwynnie, Tracy Anderson, will be giving some kind of rareified, Goop-approved (presumably) exercise demo during Fashion's Night Out, so. [New York]
• Donatella Versace has brought Versus back form the dead, and the resurrected brand will premiere at Milan Fashion Week. Prediction: she will be tanned. [WWD]
• As you already knew, Tim Gunn is a superhero! Marvel is introducing Loaded Gunn, a comic set at the "New York Museum of Fashion." [WWD]

• Lindsay Lohan's Hollywood home was burglarized over the weekend. Dina Lohan says:

"The safe was ripped out of the wall, and the door was off the hinges and door handles removed. Bags, shoes and jewelry were taken too. Thank God she wasn't home." Well, if she'd been home, they might not have broken in? Anyway Dina says Lindsay is "Okay, but upset." [People]

• A source says that surveillance video caught the men who broke into Lindsay's house on tape, and cops are investigating. Michael Lohan thinks it's an inside job, since the people that work for Lindsay didn't turn the alarm on. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins, 32, the reality star suspect accused of killing his ex-wife, was found dead in a motel room in a Canadian town called Hope. An unidentified woman checked in for Jenkins and paid cash; cops have seized the slip of information she filled out for the room. [Vancouver Sun]
• An employee at the Thunderbird Motel says Ryan Jenkins was not recognizable: "In no way shape or form did he look like the man on TV. He looked spent." [AP]
• Before she hit the stage with her Miss Universe performance, Heidi Montag said: "I think people don't know what to expect, and how can they? It's my first performance live and it's in front of a billion eyes. So I'm very excited to show everyone what I'm coming with. I'm very excited for everybody to see this." And: "I think a lot of people are expecting something very different." If by "different" you mean "stilted" and "bad" then, yeah. [AP]
• Oprah wants to throw a giant party for the 10th anniversary of her magazine, and she'd like to shut down portions of the West Side Highway in NYC for the bash. [NY Post]
• "After Alec Baldwin told Playboy he might run against Joe Lieberman, the Connecticut senator replied, 'make my day.'" [Politico]
• Michael Jackson's kids spent the weekend in Las Vegas at the Palms Casino Resort, drinking virgin strawberry-banana daiquiris and playing in the pool. Grandma Katherine Jackson watched pool-side, with a friend and a nanny. [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin snapped up the house next door to theirs in London and are creating a "£7million superhouse with 33 rooms." [Daily Mail]
• Sophia Bush was trying to hail a cab yesterday when she "accidentally flung" her arm into a woman passing by on a bicycle, knocking the woman to the ground. Sophia apologized and helped the woman up; the woman rode away. [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse performed with The Specials on Saturday night and it seems to have reinvigorated her! She says: "It's great to be back. I absolutely loved it out there. The fans and the atmosphere were great. It wasn't planned at all. I just went out and did it. I want to do my own gigs now." Video of Amy singing with the band at the link. [The Sun]
• Milla Jovovich married director Paul W.S. Anderson in Beverly Hills on Saturday, walking down the aisle of the backyard of the couple's Spanish-style house. The reception included cuban music and cake. [People]
• You can peep Milla's dress here. [E!]
• Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton will resign from working at her parents' internet party supply business at the end of the year and concentrate on photography. She'll head to New York for 2 weeks in January to work with Count Nikolai von Bismarck, who has trained with Annie Leibovitz. A source says: "It wouldn't be fitting for a future Queen to run a party website." [Daily Mail]
• Emma Roberts' boyfriend's neck is covered in hickeys. [Page Six]
• Khloé Kardashian is guest blogging for Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth while Ted is on vacation. [E!]
• Terrence J, the dude Khloé Kardashian kissed one drunken night, says: "We are just friends. Neither one of us remembers the kiss. We were trying to remember who kissed whom first and we have both agreed to agree that it was just a long night where we both had some drinks and shared a good time." This lapse in memory could be due to booze or the fact that Terrence is in a relationship and is "very much in love." [People]
• Sources claim that Doug Reinhardt has been "begging" MTV producers for a contract and wants very badly to be on The Hills, but the network is not interested. [Page Six]
• Oasis cancelled their appearance at V Fest over the weekend because Liam Gallagher had laryngitis; Snow Patrol stepped in. [The Sun]
• Joan Jett is suing Jacqueline Fuchs, former bassist in The Runaways, who is trying to have the movie about The Runaways stopped and has demanded to see the script — even though there is no character based on her. [UPI]
• Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos cheered on 8-year-old daughter Lola, who was riding at the 34th Annual Hampton Classic Horse show on Sunday. Kelly says: "She's so dedicated that she misses everything else in the summer so she can go riding!" [Gatecrasher]
• Spotted: Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, househunting in Santa Monica. [Gatecrasher]
• Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are in rehearsals for the Broadway play A Steady Rain, and the author, Kevin Huff, can't believe his good fortune: "These guys are in the prime of their careers," he says. "It's my understanding they're turning down movies to do this. I'm very lucky." [NY Daily News]
• The Rachel Zoe Project returns tonight, and this review says it "remains reliably bitchy television." [NY Daily News]
• Diablo Cody is on the cover of Inked magazine, and admits that she once was at a party with Robert Pattinson and didn't recognize him: "He's a beautiful man and I would certainly recognize him now… He wouldn't remember this happening. I honestly just went up and borrowed a light from him and I couldn't understand why there was this vibration in the crowd like, You're talking to him! I thought, You mean that guy with the cigarettes? Aw, this sounds terrible." [Inked]
• Shed a tear on your bearskin rug: The Burt Reynolds Museum may be closing. [UPI]
• A Texas blogger being sued by the mother of Anna Nicole Smith faces contempt of court for not turning in her computer. [UPI]
• Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum have chosen their wedding date and location: July 2010, at Hunton Park estate – a mansion set in 22 acres of parkland in Hertfordshire. Looks lush and amazing! [Daily Mail]
• "Rehab, drinking, Courtney Love, Owen Wilson's 'overdose': Steve Coogan confesses all." [Daily Mail]
• Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent is suing the band and A&E television network for using his image without his permission. [TMZ]
• "'I want to marry again because I miss the sex' — Jerry Hall reveals she's on the lookout for love." [Daily Mail]
• Messy divorce news: David Alan Grier is seeking joint custody of his one-year-old daughter and looking to deny his estranged wife Christine Kim any spousal support. Christine was sole custody. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which reality TV women party so hard every night that reporters gripe the ladies don't get out of bed to do phone interviews in the day?" [Page Six]
• "I was born on December 13, I was 13 when I got my first record deal and my Twitter name is taylorswift13. My first single, Tim McGraw, had a 13-second intro, and every time something good happens, 13 is involved. If I ever get a tattoo it will be '13.'" — Taylor Swift. [Daily Mail]
• "When Ally McBeal started, I went 'Oh, my God,' it's like what I was doing. Bridget Jones was in the same vein. I identify with all of them. We all can." — Melanie Mayron, who played a redheaded photographer, an "independent, creative, quirky and funny" single woman in her 30s on thirtysomething. [LA Times]
• "After two dance sessions, I can tell you Cheryl Burke is the most patient person I have ever met." — Dancing With The Stars contestant and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I wouldn't want to be 20 again for anything. I am much happier now than when I was younger. You have to discover who you are, who you are going to be, there are so many insecurities. Today, I know the things that I need, the things that I can live without." — Monica Bellucci. [Daily Mail]
• Q: So you're not getting married any time soon? A: "No, we're not into that. I think we have some sort of thing in California? What's it called? The civil equality or something. Domestic partnership! They sent us a piece of paper and it's like, oh, now what? She has her health insurance, I have mine. I'd put her on mine, but you know it's too much paperwork. We'll get around to it." — Sandra Bernhard on her girlfriend, with whom she's been with for 10 years. [LA Times]

The program scours the internet for information about the person and then fits them into a set of categories using an algorithmic process. Obviously from the results below, the process isn't perfect, but that's part of the point. The creators explain:

It is meant for the viewer to reflect on our current and future world, where digital histories are as important if not more important than oral histories, and computational methods of condensing our digital traces are opaque and socially ignorant.

In other words, it may be telling that one of Nadya Suleman's biggest categories is "fame," but "sports" winding up on Anna Wintour's profile probably means the computer misinterpreted combative phrases in articles about her.

You can check out what Personas reveals about your favorite (or unfavorite) people here. Feel free to share the results in the comments.

Click on the images below to make them larger:

Personas [MIT]

• Gwyneth Paltrow's clothing line with Zoetees is hitting stores this month. The collection includes tee shirts, studded tank tops, and a grey oversized blazer — fine basics, but there's no indication why the line should start at £100. [Elle UK]

• Earlier this year, Katy Perry, desirous of a fashion line, pre-emptively sued the Australian fashion designer Katie Perry for trademark infringement. Although the suit was later dropped, now that the pop star is in Australia, all mention of Katie Perry and the trademark issue is verboten during media interviews. Which is why when a television presenter asked the singer if there were any Australian artists she admired, Perry's manager actually killed the studio lights. [News.com.au]
• The tender melancholy of Being Donatella: "I would definitely prefer not to be obliged to attend certain events and parties, but I must." [ToL]
• Being longtime fans of documentarian Loïc Prigent — the man who made both the excellent Signé Chanel and Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton — we cannot wait to watch his new series, which follows four designers during the last 36 hours before their respective shows. Sonia Rykiel, Proenza Schouler, Jean Paul Gaultier Couture, and Fendi are featured; Prigent says "They only have 36 hours left; they don't have time to be polite." [W]
• Gaultier was among the guests evacuated from a hotel in Nice recently following a bomb threat. Nobody was injured and no explosives were found. [Yahoo!]
• Rachel Zoe's line for QVC will be shown in the biggest tent at New York Fashion Week. [The Cut]
• Between The Rachel Zoe Project, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Models Of The Runway, Project Runway All-Stars, The Fashion Show, and the upcoming Launch My Line, there's more fashion-themed reality television than any human being could ever watch. Is the genre reaching saturation? No, because women think about fashion the way men think about sports, and it would be silly to ask if there is too many sports shows! No, really: "The same way that sports is a passionate category for men, women look at style in the same way," said Style Network president Salaam Coleman Smith. "Women are passionate about transformation, and about ideas for living a fun, fabulous life, to improve themselves, find a new lipstick and figure out a new haircut." [WWD]
• Zoe, for her part, admits she has "a hard time" watching her show. That makes two of us. [WWD]
• Victoria Beckham found a lookbook model for her dress line who looks very much like Victoria Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• Hussein Chalayan's line for Puma looks exciting, intimidating, and totally technophiliac. [WWD]
• Pint-sized and cooler than we'll ever be, child style blogger Tavi WIlliams may have made the first cover of Pop magazine to be produced under new editor Dasha Zhukova. Interestingly, Tavi was just in the second issue of Love, which was founded by ex-Pop editor-in-chief Katie Grand. These are Tavi's first major magazine appearances. [Fashionologie]
• Meanwhile, Tavi was asked by Laura and Kate Mulleavy of Rodarte to film the presentation of the label's upcoming Target collaboration. None of the items in that collection will be priced above $80. [Lucky]
  
• Add Antonio Berardi and Stella McCartney for Adidas to the long list of English designers beating a return to London Fashion Week this season. [Telegraph]
• Cintra Wilson — the ordinarily funny writer who penned that amazingly tone-deaf, sizist JC Penney's store review for the New York Times — would like you to know that the controversy over her comments is officially over. At least to her. So don't write her about it! Don't read the comments under her post if you don't want to hear Wilson and an acolyte braying about the "whalesong" of complaint. [CintraWilson]
• House of Dereon now has a day dress collection. Weirdly, it includes an awful looking silk drawstring-waist jumpsuit. [WWD]
• You can watch an online short with Chloé Sevigny all about hip boutique Opening Ceremony's new store in Shibuya, Tokyo. [Dazed&Confused]
• Levi's Ryan McGinley-shot "Go Forth" ad campaign for its 501 jeans also has an online mockumentary component. You can watch these "Stories Of A New America" about good-looking young people doing cool things, you know, totally spontaneously, at Break.com. [MW]
• Kenny Chesney's apparel line will launch at MAGIC, the Las Vegas apparel industry event. [WWD]

• Forbes has released the top-earning celebrities over 50, and Oprah is at number one! To put things in perspective, Forbes' Lauren Streib writes:

"Her earnings power is equal to that of the creator of Star Wars and the Material Girl, combined." [Forbes]

• Oprah's O magazine has a power list — with a twist. For example: Venus Williams has "The Power Of Female Strength"; Donna Brazile has "The Power Of Ambition"; Sarah Silverman has "The Power Of Transgression." [Newser]
• Gwyneth Paltrow smells like moth balls. [PopCrunch]
• Michael Phelps was in a three-car accident in Baltimore last night, but he was not injured. A woman in another car was taken to the hospital with head and arm pain. Alcohol was not involved. [TMZ]
• VOM: Heidi Montag says she has 20 to 30 orgasms a day with Spencer Pratt, and claims: "I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down." [Page Six]
• Wait, what?!?! "Amy Winehouse has set up a Facebook profile pretending to be her cat as a way of keeping in secret contact with Blake Fielder-Civil… She has created a profile for her pet pussy Shirley and is using it to post messages to Blake at his remote Yorkshire rehab centre." [The Sun]
• "Not only have Jon and Kate Gosselin lost their marriage, they've lost about 7 million viewers since the reality show couple announced their split." [MSNBC]
• Mischa Barton showed up for work with wet hair and a cigarette dangling from her lips, and this paper calls her "messed," "pale and haggard." [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey has pulled out of an appearance on VH1 Storytellers and a concert on the Today show and gone back in the studio as her album has been delayed again. Is she all shook up by Eminem's dis track? [Reuters]
• Sherri Shepherd tried to help Andy Dick find God. "[Andy] said, 'Sherri, can God love someone like me? He needs me, too, Sherri. You ain't the only one who needs a parking space.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Scarlett Johannsson is Brigitte Bardot-inspired in Pete Yorn's new video, and I have three letters for the whole thing: Zzz. [Gatecrasher, JustJared]
• New Moon swoon! Twihards and Team Jacob/Buff Werewolf fans: Video of Taylor Lautner wrestling with Kristen Stewart at the link. [EW]
• Kristen Stewart on Taylor Lautner: "I love that kid. I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [NY Daily News]
• TMZ has obtained the search warrant used to raid the pharmacy where Dr. Conrad Murray purchased the Propofol that killed Michael Jackson. They're calling it the smoking gun. [TMZ]
• TMZ actually called the manufacturer of Propofol to see what they knew about the case? [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray says he didn't know about Michael Jackson's "very unusual problems" when he agreed to be his personal doctor, and didn't know what drugs MJ was taking when he accepted the job. [TMZ]
• LaToya Jackson has something to say: "I've been approached to do Dancing With the Stars. The fact of the matter is, I won't be doing it, simply because of the circumstances that [are] going on at the moment. I can't see myself putting myself into there right now, dancing every single day when I'm still trying to find out what exactly happened to my brother." [Access Hollywood]
• LaToya was interviewed while working at AIDS Project Los Angeles, a charity Michael Jackson often helped. She says: "We're doing the best that we can. Everyone has just been going through what they're going through at the moment. It's a very trying time for all of us." [E!]
• Scott Disick is the one who got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant, but you knew that, right? [E!, Page Six]
• Today in bizarre celebrity feuds: Courtney Love vs. The Veronicas. She thinks they stole her clothes; they're calling her a "twat" and "delusional." [Perez]
• For some reason Vanessa Hudgens has haters? But her Bandslam costars say "She's such a sweet person, such a nice girl." So. [E!]
• Whoa: Kate Winslet will star in Mildred Pierce, a miniseries project (possibly for HBO). The 1945 film of the same name won the incomparable Joan Crawford (and her eyebrows) an Oscar. [Variety]
• Aerosmith has canceled its summer tour "with great regret" after frontman Steven Tyler fell from the stage. Quoth he: "I just want to say that I' m plain grateful that I didn't break my neck. In truth, after thousands of live shows, falling off the edge four times ain't too bad." [AP]
• Christie's will conduct a London auction of art and furniture belonging to the late Indian-born film producer Ismail Merchant in October. Merchant, along with James Ivory, made over 40 films including A Room With a View, Howards End and The Remains of the Day. [Reuters]
• Jonathan Demme has walked away from directing a documentary about Bob Marley; last May, Martin Scorsese dropped out of the project. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recently single celeb wasn't so faithful to her last boyfriend? She'd been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship." [Gatecrasher]
• "It would've been smart to take some time off too, but I'm really glad I did Runaways. If it was Twilight all the time, I would go mad. To just play one character for four years, it's not what I do. I like to have variation. I like to change it up. To live one experience, it would be like I have this weird alter-ego, alternate life, instead of slipping into a character for 6 weeks, sucking it dry, and leaving. It would be like 4 years of living like a fucking psycho person, thinking that I'm like Bella. You know what I mean? It would just be impossible for me. The tabloids would have a lot of crazy shit to say about me in that case." — Kristen Stewart. [EW]
• "[I wasn't] one of the industry kids who they groom on the fucking Disney channel and who do what they are told. [Being a star was like] being strapped to a rocket ship. But some of us weren't built for speed. I was almost overwhelmed by it all. I had this house — not a giant house, but three or four nice rooms, and a jukebox. And it had this laundry room, and I would sit in there with an ashtray that I trusted. It was like the world couldn't get me in the laundry room." — Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder. [Guardian]
• "I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged ... and I slipped, and as I live on the edge ... I fell off the edge!" — Steven Tyler, on his accident hat left him with a broken left shoulder and 20 stitches on the back of his head. [People]
• "It's remarkable what a new kidney does to your life. I have no complaints…I'm pretty amazed. I have been working on my stamina." — Natalie Cole, who would love to meet her donor, saying, "I would probably kiss them all over the place." [People]
• "I get a lot of e-mails and photos of people that are dressing like [Don Draper]. That was pretty strange. People will say to me, ‘Oh, I just saw you in a mall.' I guess it's pretty easy. Slick your hair back, put a nice suit on, and you're ready to go." — Jon Hamm. [WWD]

• Charlize Theron has nabbed the September cover of a slimmed-down Vogue. The issue counts only 584 pages, compared with the 840 pages of Sienna Miller's 2007 issue. Theron last made the cover in October 2007. [TFS]

• Kate Moss is the fall face of Just Cavalli. Splitting the difference between the competing trends of top- and bottomlessness, she poses for one ad in a tuxedo jacket and nothing else, and for another in some kind of leopard-print leotard. In a third, she wears a micromini sequined dress that seems to be held up with magic. [FWD]
• Legendary photographer Corinne Day — whose pictures of Kate Moss for The Face helped put the supermodel on the map — is facing a serious illness, and requires expensive medical treatment. Friends are trying to raise money by selling 500 prints of a 2001 photo of Moss nude on a bed; the pictures are £100 each. [LOVE, link NSFW]
• The first images of Jil Sander's hotly anticipated +J line for Uniqlo have just surfaced, and it looks fantastic. Japanese magazine Non-No shot seven looks from the men's collection, and it's entirely apparent that the German designer has not lost her talent for tailoring and her ability to pare down a look to its most basic, striking elements during her years in the fashion wilderness after being fired from her namesake label by owners Prada. +J, which hits Uniqlo stores this November, includes around 140 pieces of men's and women's wear, and prices start at $25. [Hypebeast]
• Macy's has announced that Ne-Yo will be the new face of Alfani's Red men's wear. [WWD]
• Uma Thurman has the campaign for Givenchy's new Angel or Demon perfume. [The Sun]
  
• Under Isaac Mizrahi's direction, Liz Claiborne continues to seek a higher-fashion image without shedding its affordability. To wit: this fall, Coco Rocha and her old flaming red hair star in a very kaleidoplaid campaign. Also, count this as another example of the models-in-the-supermarket fashion imagery trope. [Design Scene]
• Patrick Robinson and his design team at the Gap have been concentrating on the basics — and particularly on revamping the company's various styles of jeans. To advertise the offerings, the company has chosen a bevvy of top models, including Carmen Kass, Anja Rubik, and Arlenis Sosa, each identified with a particular style of denim — "The Boyfriend," "Curvy," "Long & Lean," etc. We wonder who it was, though, who chose to put the lesbian model Freja Beha Erichsen next to giant type that reads "Real Straight." [Models.com]
• Loeffler Randall is adding e-commerce to its website. [WWD]
• Jewelry designer Anna Sheffield's collection for Target hits stores at the end of this month. The pieces range from $19.99-$79.99; some are made of sterling silver. They all look very cool. [Lucky]
• You know the economy's terrible when Jessica Seinfeld serves pigs-in-blankets to Gwyneth at a charity gala. [WWD]
• In Paris, several recent fashion school graduates are starting their own lines — with a difference: instead of focusing on the tradition ready-to-wear, these young designers each want to do small collections made-to-measure for each client. And the prices are right: 50-80 Euros for a shirt, 70 Euros for a dress, 150 Euros for a jacket. In putting an affordable price on services that are something more than tailoring and something less than couture, with all its connotations of excess, these youngsters have almost certainly found a gap in the market. [DazedDigital]
• Meanwhile, shoe designer Jeffrey Campbell knocked off a Chloé boot. His offerings this season are basically just Ann Demeulemeester's and Balmain's shoes done for cheap(er). How is it this guy hasn't gotten sued yet? (Of course, Chloé probably took inspiration for their shoes from some vintage boots.) [The Greyest Ghost]
• And there are also instances of high-end brands ripping off less-expensive ones. Cf. Proenza Schouler's version of the Frye boot. [On The Fringe Of Fashion]
• After the record-breaking sale of all the art he collected with Yves Saint Laurent, partner Pierre Bergé plans to go ahead with an auction of furniture, sculptures, and textiles in November. The works are expected to fetch around $5.7 million; the proceeds will go to AIDS research. [WWD]
• Miss J's new memoir, Follow The Model: Miss J's Guide To Unleashing Presence, Poise And Power contains a troubling blind item about not being let in to a fashion show on the explicit instructions of the head of the PR company running the designer's front-of-house operations. The PR company seems to be Kelly Cutrone's People's Revolution, and the designer — specified as Brazilian — seems to be either Carlos Miele or Alexandre Herchcovitch. Was Miss J denied entry because he is black, or because he now bears the taint of Night-Time Tyra? The latter seems unlikely, since Miss J points out that the same designer later begged America's Next Top Model to use his line for the finale runway show when ANTM went to Brazil in Season 12. (That particular laurel went to Rosa Chá.) [Fashionista]
• The New York Fashion Week menswear schedule is out, and it contains some surprises. This season, Yigal Azrouël is killing his separate men's wear presentation, and combining his two shows into one. Philip Lim is doing the exact opposite, adding a separate men's wear presentation. [WWD]
• Feast your eyes on ShopBop's "WARTIME" array of products, and ponder the aestheticization of orchestrated human killing. [ShopBop]

Strictly speaking, Gwyneth was talking about photographers when she allegedly told her publicist, "I'm done. Get the roaches out of here." "Roach" Chuck Taylor points out that she was "referring to those very photographers that deliver her pictures to the wire services, newspapers and weekly celebrity magazines, helping her maintain any semblance of relevance." But we're sure she'd have an equally insectile epithet to hurl at Craig Brown, who skewers GOOP in Vanity Fair. His "Diary: Gwyneth Paltrow" ("As told to Craig Brown") offers the following advice:

Many of you have asked if I have any tips on how to get leggings on quicker. My in-house leggings guru advises rubbing onto your legs a paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and coarsely ground fair-trade coffee. If you have any further problems, then next week I'll be recommending a truly great creative-leggings clinic.

Brown's faux-Gwynnie also mentions "learning how to fold napkins in a way that will make them more ecologically sustainable" and an "amazing new recipe for a detox face cream consisting of oatmeal, bee pollen, butterfly larvae, organic anti-freeze, sunflower extract, and liquid Lycra." But what is she reading? "Gwyneth" writes,

Here are some of my absolute favorite books. War, by Leo Tolstoy. A great read. Bonus: You can get it as part of a two-volume edition which includes Peace by the same great author.

Shakespeare, by Shakespeare. He has so many great lines. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "I am the Walrus." "My heart will go on." They're part of the language.

Brown is getting it slightly wrong here. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't an idiot — she's just self-absorbed, entitled, and possibly overly credulous of silly homeopathic shit. She may be a little careless about who she takes her book recommendations from, but she probably doesn't get Shakespeare confused with John Lennon. We do wonder, however, how she feels about The Metamorphosis.

Why Won't The Media 'Roaches' Leave Poor Gwyneth Alone? [Gawker]
Sweet Gwyneth Paltrow Maligns The Press, Calling Them "The Roaches" [The Smoking Nun]
Diary: Gwyneth Paltrow [Vanity Fair]

Earlier: Gwyneth Gives Free Ad Space To Fancy NYC Literary Agent