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K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
Shejaculation: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Gush

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Sister Toldja
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
I love the ads (minus the reserved Asianstereotype; yay for diversity, but do better y'all!), but I hate this product.

I had my boo buy some of this rubbish and it was about $20 bucks, which was a bit much. The "His" is okay, it's more of the cooling one I guess. The "hers" burned me a little, just as other warming lubes have in the past. Using this mess after a wax and a recent Nair session had my lady parts on fire. When not freshly de-haired, I still didn't like it. It dries up VERY quickly and since we use condoms, that can be uncomfortable. And the bottle cannot stand up and spills easily.

I like Wet Platinum lube. It stays wet forever! Warning- like most condoms and lubes, the markup in sex shops is nearly double what you will pay in a mass market place like Target.
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Sister Toldja
04/15/09

@Sister Toldja: Whoops-I am talking about His/Hers, not Intense!
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clevernamehere
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
I kind of like the fact that (from what I can see) both the man and the woman are Asian. I'm all for multi-racial couples, but I get tired of multi-racial couples always being White Guy/Asian Girl. It seems to feed that whole Asian fetish thing.
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shastamacnasty
04/15/09

@clevernamehere: Ditto. To be honest, the first thing I thought was "Wow! An asian man and an asian woman. Now there's something you don't see every day."
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Sister Toldja
04/15/09

@shastamacnasty: I concur. About time!
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LAmonkeygirl
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
So...anybody use this stuff? If so, is it any good?
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golden-goose
04/15/09

@LAmonkeygirl: I have been scouring the comments hoping for some first hand stories on this, but I'm not seeing any testimonials. ::sigh::
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Sister Toldja
04/15/09

@golden-goose: HATED IT!
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LAmonkeygirl
04/15/09

@Sister Toldja: Pourquoi?
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Sister Toldja
04/16/09

@LAmonkeygirl: I realized that I was thinking of the KY His/Hers, not Intense. But I hated it b/c it burned a bit and dried VERY quickly. I have yet to find a KY product that I have liked. They have all been very uncomfortable.
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Little Bumble Bee aka:Alwaystheangel
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
naturally they have to be an asian couple. Because that's not a stereotype.
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mfnher
04/15/09

@Alwaystheangel: Yeah. That was my first thought. Reserved must equal Asian.
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bangers
04/15/09

@Alwaystheangel: THANK YOU. after all the crap yesterday about how 'racist' the popeye's commercial with a black woman selling chicken is, i cannot BELIEVE that nobody has commented on the stereotypes in this commercial.
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LoSpaz
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
On Easter Sunday, I was in line at the drugstore to buy toothpaste and the man in front of me had this as well as two other kinds of KY and a jumbo box of condoms out on the counter. He is risen indeed!
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MarissaExplainsItAll
04/15/09

@LoSpaz: Maybe that's what he gave up for lent?
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
I absolutely love this particular line of KY commercials.
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scrambles the death dealer
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
i just saw this stuff for the first time at walgreens yesterday! i was intrigued. but, i think it was, like, 24 bucks?

they also had that trojan fingertip "massager" that's always advertised on tv...which ALSO intrigues me....
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grrl
04/15/09

@scrambles the death dealer: my personal view:

go to a good sex shop (or visit on online). much better stuff, much better variety, and much better prices than the mainstream brand crap available in a drugstore. there also usually staffed by knowledgeable people who can answer questions about the products. AND you don't have to stand in line in a big drugstore with your sex props while the everyone else is buying gum, shoelaces and shampoo.
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HistoricUpstart
04/15/09

@grrl: I agree! And you can find lubes that, unlike KY, DO NOT have glycerin in them, which is actually not good for vadges, because the sugars can trigger urinary infections. And as we've discussed on Jez many times, UTIs are verrry bad and all too common!
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boxspelunker
04/16/09

@scrambles the death dealer: I loved that the older lady was all like, "Well, I got mine online! That's how you do it!"
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nessalicious
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
Please everybody note: Do not get KY confused with teething gel as I did when my wisdom teeth were coming through....
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deltabella
04/15/09

@nessalicious: I can't decide if KY in your mouth or teething gel on your ladybits is worse.
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nessalicious
04/15/09

@deltabella: It was teething gel on my arse actually and oh god, my eyes water thinking about it even now.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
04/15/09

@nessalicious: Yikes that sounds horrible! Did you have to go to the hospital for that?
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AmbiguouslyGayUno
04/15/09

@nessalicious: I actually know a girl who didn't have any lube around so she grabbed her baby's ora-gel. Her ass went numb and everything was smooth sailing from there.
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Ms. Audrey Horne
04/16/09

@AmbiguouslyGayUno: It really works. I use orajel for bum relief all the time. Not for teh sex, but it works a treat the next day. If it can go in your mouth, it can go in your butt!
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boxspelunker
04/16/09

@Ms. Audrey Horne: Unfortunately, this logic doesn't work the other way around as well! :D
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Triana Orpheus
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
True story, my ex got the KY warming liquid in his "pee hole." He was out of commission for three days.
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Jack_Burton
04/15/09

@trianaorpheus: Note to self: Beware warming-liquid in pee hole.
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nessalicious
04/15/09

@trianaorpheus: ARGH! Nightmares!
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Triana Orpheus
04/15/09

@Jack_Burton: I know. Which made me like "Wait, if it hurts you, what is it going to do to me?"
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schweppes
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
This reminds me of the time I was shopping in the shoe department on Loehman's and this woman was talking SO LOUD (in the CHILDREN'S department nearby) about how her boyfriends gets mad when she doesn't squirt. She must have said the word "squirt" 15 times. I was thoroughly grossed out.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
04/15/09

@schweppes: Squirt is kind of a gross word. It's always bothered me. Like if you're at Babies R Us and they have onesies that have "Little Squirt" embroidered on the front. That's just....no good.
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livefreeordorota
04/15/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: MOIST. MOIST IS THE WORST WORD. Moist squirts makes me want to crawl under my desk.
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Cafezinha
04/15/09

@livefreeordorota: I had a co-worker that hated that word with a passion. We worked in a drive-through Starbucks and when we were on DT together, I would take sick pleasure in offering our delicious, fresh, moist blueberry coffee cake to go with customers' drinks.
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merv
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
Aren't all these "stimulating" gels and creams just vaginal icy hot?
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
04/15/09

@mervbaby: I am kind of tempted to try some of this out, but I'm pretty sure I'll probably get a rash instead of incredibly turned on. Still...worth a try?
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merv
04/15/09

@goldengirl11 (is way too earnest): @otherginger: dudes, i'm not worried about a rash. the whole concept screams "yeast" to me.
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prestocaro fears the culling
04/15/09

@mervbaby: I use the warming lube sometimes; it isn't icyhot hot, but it is warm. It's about as warm as the very bright light at my old gyno's office. Not HOT. And no rash :) I actually started using it because my new-ish gyno uses it for her lube. If that ain't a seal of approval, I don't know what is.

The cooling/tingling I've never used, so I can't vouch for it.

@mervbaby: I've never gotten a yeast infection from this product. But then, I've never gotten one, period.
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Sister Toldja
04/15/09

@goldengirl11 (is way too earnest):

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Trust me. If I wipe too hard with TP that day, that "Hers" crap burns like hell. Just say NOOOOOOOO!
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
Why do they always remain completely dressed in these commercials? This is a topic I was hoping you have here because it has been bugging the hell out of me forever. How does one have "intense moments" when one is fully dressed? Are there little holes cut out of thier clothes?

Someone explain this to me!
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Shamrockette
04/15/09

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: You're supposed to orgasm from mental stimulation!
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Triana Orpheus
04/15/09

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: They're both wearing spanx?
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veronykah
04/15/09

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: Its like on movies and tv, whenever they are "cuddling" after sex the woman always somehow has a bra on. I dunno, in my experience that is usually out of the picture quite rapidly.
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Kristinkles Ingabogovinanana
04/15/09

@veronykah: My girlfriend has never, ever had sex without her bra on. Even in the dark. I'll ask her from time to time, and still, at 26, she keeps it on.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
04/15/09

@Kristinkles: But...these people are FULLY CLOTHED.

I sleep in my bra, but I have 36 DD's, and it's mighty uncomfortable with those things flopping all around.
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ZLevee
04/15/09

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: I don't even get the blankets. You're not very athletic about it if you can stand to have blankets over you.
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MIXED
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
I was all for these awesome commercials till I saw this VERY product on my parents' nightstand....shudder....
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
04/15/09

@Mixed is going to Paris!: Brain scrubbing ensued, I'm sure. I can top that, though. My parents had a tube of generic, drugstore-brand lubricating jelly (!) in their bathroom for ever. It was like a huge economy size one. I love that they're all into eachother like that after thirty years of marriage and all, but.....store brand lubricating jelly? EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*gags*
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schweppes
04/15/09

@Mixed is going to Paris!: I found my mom's KY once. She told me it was hand moisturizer, for her "really dry hands." I chose to believe her for years.
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Cafezinha
04/15/09

@schweppes: But would it actually work? And would it be cheaper than lotion? 'Cos I have dry skin and go through plenty of lotion. I wouldn't mind paying less to keep myself smooth and lovely.

Even if it's with KY.
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envirodesigner
04/15/09

@Mixed is going to Paris!: ok be warned because at least...(ok this part is very sensitive so I don't want to hear anybody complain about this be forwarned)...ok

....honestly

....no complaints if you are continuing to read this.

...honestly....

....here it goes....

hey at least you saw the ky jelly, i saw my parents going at it last year doggie style, how's that...now that's a picture that I don't want to see again, at least you saw jelly I saw them doing it....why? I don't know gaaaaaah.
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schweppes
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: I once peaked in on my father sitting naked on the bed, scratching his balls asking my mother if he had any clean underwear.
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Cafezinha
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: O_O

Damn, dude. I feel like I should bleach my brain on your behalf.

I never saw my parents going at it. But I did hear them a few times. Ick.

I always wonder what kind of trauma Sr. Zinha and I are going to do to our kids in that fashion. Now that they're old enough to get outta bed at night, we make a point to lock the door, but still...
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MIXED
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: OH DEAR GOD. I would die. I would pass out. I would scream. I. Would. Die. You poor, poor thing. Doggie style?! Come over to my place, we'll watch Disney movies and read Harry Potter and I'll feed you nom noms and it'll all erase from your memory....
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VPea
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: my bf saw the same thing and learned that his Ned Flandersesque stepfather has a ginormous penis...actually just like Ned Flanders!
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Cafezinha
04/15/09

@schweppes: See, we're pretty mellow with the nudity in our house--the minis have seen us naked before, not a big deal. But never doing anything sexual.

Whether or not they've heard anything is up for debate.
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Cafezinha
04/15/09

@Cafezinha: Actually, I take that back...I remember taking a whole family shower, and sending the kids out to get dressed and go colour while Sr. Zinha and I finished up.

After they left, we locked the door and, uh, well, y'know, real quick-like and after we got out of the shower, one of the kids commented that they thought they'd heard some funny noises in the bathroom. He and I just kind of played it off as their imagination or the neighbors and resolved to either be quiet or save shenanigans for when the kids are sleeping.
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NewsBunny
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: I...GASPED.
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CollegeCamel
04/15/09

@envirodesigner: I once found my Dad's Viagra. Seeing as how there was never any previous indication that my parents did that anymore, it was shocking in soooo many ways. Just, ew.
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jrhys
04/15/09

@VPea: Wait Ned has a big one? Since when?
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Shamrockette
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
I'M GUSHING LIKE OL' FAITHFUL!
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The HZA.
04/15/09

In reply to K-Y Intense Will Make A Gusher Out Of The Meek Ones
Bow chicka wow wowwww.
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