[Guatemala City, November 16. Image via Getty]

Aura Suruy Socorec shows the picture of her three daughters murdered a year ago, on November 16, 2009, during the inauguration of an international seminar on Violence Against Women, Teens and Girls in Guatemala City. AFP PHOTO/Johan Ordonez (Photo credit should read JOHAN ORDONEZ/AFP/Getty Images)

[Guatemala City, November 1. Image via Getty]

A Guatemalan indigenous woman looks for the tomb of a relative at the General cemetery in Guatemala City during the celebration of All Saints Day, November 1, 2009. AFP PHOTO Johan ORDONEZ. (Photo credit should read JOHAN ORDONEZ/AFP/Getty Images)

[Guatemala City, May 14. Image via Getty]

A woman and her daughter peep through a line of riot police during a protest against Guatemala's President Alvaro Colom in Guatemala City on May 14, 2009. Angry crowds marched in downtown Guatemala City demanding the resignation of President Alvaro Colom and others defending him against accusations of murdering a prominent lawyer.Days before he was gunned down while riding his bicycle on Sunday, lawyer Rodrigo Rosenberg recorded a video accusing Colom of ordering his death. He named Colom's wife and his personal secretary as co-conspirators. TOPSHOTS/AFP PHOTO/Eitan Abramovich (Photo credit should read EITAN ABRAMOVICH/AFP/Getty Images)

[Antigua, Guatemala; May 11. Image via Getty]

Guatemalan Nobel Peace Prize (1992) laureate Rigoberta Menchu attends the Nobel Prize Winners' Initiative Forum 'Women Redefining Democracy for Peace, Justice, and Equality' in Antigua Guatemala, 45 km west of Guatemala City, on May 11, 2009. Nobel Peace Prize winners Menchu, Irish Mairead Maguire (1976), US Jody Williams (1997) and Iranian Shirin Ebadi (2003) are attending the meeting. AFP PHOTO/Eitan Abramovich (Photo credit should read EITAN ABRAMOVICH/AFP/Getty Images)

Related: I, Rigoberta Menchu: An Indian Woman In Guatemala [Amazon]

• A choir teacher in San Diego called a student an "ugly brat," then literally kicked her out of the classroom. • Disturbing fertility news: even half a serving of soy a day can lower a man's sperm count — effects are more pronounced if he's overweight. • Disturbing adoption news: DNA tests show an abducted Guatemalan baby was adopted by a US couple. Several more abducted babies have been found in Guatemalan orphanages, leading some to believe the practice is widespread. • And some reassuring news: belly and thigh fat is a great source of stem cells, which could cure disease and even remove wrinkles. So eat that donut — unless you're a man, you want a baby, and it's made of soy.

In case there's any doubt, the accompanying picture is an actual polling place, in an actual bar in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Philly's kind of a blue-state kind of place, right, even if you don't take into account that they set up voting booths in bars. But, you might ask, what about dry counties?

There are, give or take, 271 dry counties in the United States, which is to say there are at least 271 counties in this great nation where I really would object to ever living. If you match those up with the county-by-county results of the 2004 Presidential race, you find that only 5.5% of dry counties (that's 15 of 'em) went to Kerry.

Well, okay, you say, but dry counties tend to equal conservative places, right? Probably true. But fully 10 percent of self-identified Democrats and 7 percent of self-identified Republicans voted for the other party's candidate in 2004, and one would think that party identification would be a more reliable indicator of which way a person would have voted in 2004 than an accident of geography and old liquor distribution laws.

So, basically, keeping people from drinking seems to actually have encouraged them to vote for Bush, rather than the other way around. We're intrigued! Want to help prove or disprove my analysis? Vote again like it's 2004!

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Don't Drink and Vote, Guatemala Says [Wall Street Journal]
Dry Counties [State University of New York at Potsdam]
2004 Election Results [CNN]
Voters' Views By the Numbers [USA Today]