I had a very odd experience just now on the subway.
I moved to New York about four weeks ago, but mostly I've just been chilling in Brooklyn, walking about and applying to jobs, so the subways aren't that familiar to me still. But my biggest pet peeve on subways is people who are really fucking loud, even though the car is packed full of people they don't know who have to listen. I usually ignore it, but the last thing I wanted to listen to tonight, at one thirty am, while trying to negotiate a messy route home through a bunch of switched routes, was some douchbros singing in loud, loud falsetto voices and screaming with laughter. So I sort of glare in their direction now and then, when I really can't take the level of noise they're producing. So they start singing about me. You know, "Stuck up bitch, hanging on the pole, blah blah blah." Finally I look the guy singing in the eye and say "I can hear you, you know" (I had my earphones in, but I could still hear). And he's just like "Yeah, I hope you can, cause I don't really give a fuck what you can hear!"
Uh.
So I sort of laughed and said "Fine" and ignored them, and they were pretty quiet after that, but I felt kind of gross and agitated for a while. I hate how vulnerable I feel in public spaces.
Guys, I feel unbelievably sad right now and I need to let this out.
I just found out that one of my old classmates died yesterday. We were buddies in early elementary school (in the sense that we went to each other birthday parties and such) and we grew apart as we got older. We didn't talk at all through later elementary, middle school, and he went to a different high school. I've been trying to find out what happened.
We've been distant for so long and our lives have literally nothing to do with each other but I feel so sad. I've gone through the deaths of people who were more important to me with more composure than this. It's just so shocking. And I feel kind of selfish because despite how bad I feel I know my feelings can't compare to those of people who were closer to him. He was like the hottie of my grade and girls from other towns would routinely ask me about him.
I think my sadness might be compounded by the fact that a couple of weeks ago, after years of not seeing him, I happened to spot him standing outside his house one day as I drove by. It was the first time I had seen his physical form in years and I kind of treated with curious interest like "Oh, that's X." The idea that just two weeks later I would be trying to sort out the fact that he died would have been inconceivable to me. I think the fact that I saw him in person makes it that much harder to come to terms with - he went from being an abstract memory to a real person with whom I have shared experience with - and then suddenly he was gone.
So basically, I feel like crap and I don't think have the right to feel like crap considering my non-relationship with this kind. Still, though, this was the kid that showed me his penis in first grade... small stuff like that is kind of binding, in a silly, strange way - to me at least.
Also I feel like I'm making this all about myself and not putting enough emphasis on the fact that a kid died. And I know this happens every day to kids all over but I don't know. We're 19 years old. It's too young.
I asked my bf's family for money so my bf can go on vacation (without him knowing) with me and my family and everyone thinks I'm awesome. Yaaay. We're long distance right now and haven't seen each other in 3 months and even then he was not on vacation, I had to go to work with him. Basically he has not had any time off since March (no weekends, no clear boundaries between work and home)... so really, it's preventative health care.
Any Wisconsin Jezzies? Specifically Fox Valley? I need to meet some new awesome people. I considered "strictly platonic" on craigslist, but I am uber wary.
I am still up, still writing a 15 page research paper IN FRENCH. I'm rounding in on pg # 12 & would be impressed with myself if I hadn't put this off to the last possible minute, as usual! Anyone else burning the midnight oil for unfun reasons? #groupthinkReply
@Yucca: What about the 'critique'? You should read the comments. One actually was all- this lady sounds so smart, look at me I'm smart and your dumb. Is this always the response to 'liberals'?
@Yucca: Oof. I don't disagree with the sentiment, and I have been known to preach the gospel of all-natural personal care products myself (one of my internships was with a beauty editor at a green lifestyle magazine), but I'm only 1:58 in, and already, this is some serious propaganda. My fact-checker alarm is ringing like crazy.
Like egg cream below I'm generally inclined to agree with the sentiment but I hate hate hate people acting like chemicals are the enemy as opposed to the things that make everything. Water: a chemical.
The one major issue I have with the critique is the pass it gives estee lauder for pinkwashing. The causing breast cancer part comes in production more than personal use, and I doubt estee lauder is donating huge amounts of money-- there's generally a cap on donations from pink ribbon products.
I think ModCloth is going to be my go-to for dress shopping from now on. I love that they provide specific measurements for each item and that they'll let you return anything for free.
I've been trying to be more of a dress person, but as a short busty person, it's hard to find stuff that fits. I think I'm just going to treat myself to a dress a month from them and hopefully I can wean myself off pants.
I swear I'm not a shill, I just got 3 dresses from them today that I am in love with and it's a total revolution!
@AuRevoirOeuf: Leave reviews with fit information for everything you buy! I adore Modcloth, but as an international buyer, returns aren't so easy, so I usually rely on the comments for reviews on size, length, quality, etc.
What dresses did you get? I've been eyeing this coat for a while: [www.modcloth.com]
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