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Rhythm Nation
Kristi Burton Is Not Exactly Beloved By The Anti-Abortion Movement

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Flackette Goes Retro
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Yeah, as crazy as my cycle is, I will stick to the hormones kthx. This may work well for many women, but my body is so completely unpredictable and I have such anxiety issues anyway, there is no way I could remain sane while using any kind of rhythm or charting method.
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clarafier
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
does anyone know how the rhythm method actually works? do you have to have regular periods?
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Flackette Goes Retro
05/05/09

@clarafier: It essentially works on the idea that you have a regular cycle which includes ovulation at roughly the midpoint of that cycle (say, 14 days into a 28 day menstrual cycle). You can get pregnant if you have sex so many days before or after that ovulation, so you figure out when you ovulate and avoid the days around that time (or use condoms). Today some people also use fertility charting, which involves sampling your cervical mucus, charting basal temperature and other stuff. Of course, if you are me and subject to randomly having periods every two weeks, then none at all for six weeks, then a period every three weeks, et cetera, this may not be a good method. And even regular women can have a surprise ovulation. So um, yeah, personally I don't think it's really reliable.
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queenie
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Can I get one of these? I'm SO over the pill and looking for alternatives. No, srsly. I want one.
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saintbernadette
05/05/09

@queenie: @nex0s: Yes! TCOYF!
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Dancingfrog
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
I know it's not always popular to stand up for people who prefer more traditional things, but the calendar method apperently has a 25% failure rate at most, so if a couple just wants to sort of delay children a bit, it's not actually that ridicule-worthy. Besides, not everyone who can't take The Pill wants to get injected or implanted with things. Some women choose, by their own will, not because it's forced on them by patriarchy, not because they are crazy, to follow a religious path. Why don't we leave the pity for women who are forced, and the ridicule for men who force women to do things, okay?
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LibidinousSlut
05/05/09

@Dancingfrog: I love you. For real. I hate that hormonal birth control, developed by MEN, which essentially treats women's bodies as human lab rats, is somehow exalted as "liberating" whereas methods (and I'm lumping the rhythm method, fertility tracking etc) that encourages women to be more in tune with their bodies and work with their own natural rhythms are slammed as being shackled.

Guess what? I'm a woman. My body bleeds for 3-5 days a year and it can bear children. And that's awesome. Even though I don't want children, ever, I don't know how disconnecting myself from my body is liberating. I think this process of disconnecting women from their bodies feeds into the patriachy, encouraging us to buy into fake female standards of beauty, of sexuality, of humanness.

I'm not saying that hormonal birth control is a bad choice, it's just not the choice for me. And I'm sick of being slammed for being backwards or automatically assumed that I'm caving into the pressures of religion or something else.
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clarafier
05/05/09

@LibidinousSlut: if you don't mind me asking, what method do you use? i've been on nuvaring for a while, and while it's convenient and works great and all, i'm paranoid about all the hormones (especially with my family history of breast cancer). i really want to look at other options.
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misspell
05/05/09

@clarafier: A friend just gave me this book, because I've recently gone off hormonal BC and I never want to be on it again, ever again:

Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler - it's the Fertility Awareness Method and it's not the rhythm method, it's completely logical. It's really incredible. People think it's some holistic hippie thing but it's not, it's just science. I've had so many "oh, so THAT's what's going on" moments reading that book. I sound like a crazy person, so I'll stop, but look it up. It's awesome.
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heavymetalkarma
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
The vague resemblance to a roulette wheel is not a coincidence.
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morninggloria
05/05/09

@heavymetalkarma: Catholic Roulette!
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tscheese
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
It's like the illicit love child of Timecube and an egg timer.
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Miss Scarlett
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
I had a teacher at my Catholic high school brag how she only used the rhythm method and how easy it was and how she and her husband planned to wait years before having kids because they just got married. She was pregnant with in a year. The irony was not lost on us.
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morninggloria
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Another problem with the rhythm method is that, for unexplained reasons, white people seem to have great difficulty with it.
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TempleDrake
05/05/09

@morninggloria: Huh?
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katekate is squared
05/05/09

@TempleDrake: (Because white people have no rhythm.)
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lalaland13
05/05/09

@morninggloria: Rhythm is a dancer that will get you pregnant.
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PreposterousHypothesis
05/05/09

@morninggloria: True, but some white people have had success with the "Not Breeding Because I'm an Insufferable Hipster" method.
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morninggloria
05/05/09

@katekate is squared: You got it.

Rhythm. I does not has it.
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misspell
05/05/09

@morninggloria: Maybe that's how The Jerk was conceived.
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tscheese
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Is this bossy little piece of cardboard honestly trying to pussyblock me? I HAVE SEX WHEN I *WANT* TO, CARDBOARD. You can't stop me.
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gangey
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
My favorite part is how it says "read instructions carefully." Seems like that goes without saying, eh?
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
05/05/09

@gangey: There is nothing, however, to indicate when you've actually come to understand said instructions.
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LaComtesse
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Or, you could do what I do: go to a soothsayer and have him draw you up a zodiological chart. Then purchase a speckled hen's egg and put it in vinegar, then bury it in your back yard according to the time prescribed on your zodiological chart. Spit on the ground twice and mix that with a drop of your blood.

Congratulations! You've just ensured yourself another pregnancy-free month!
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hortense
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
How has this not been an album cover yet?
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SomeAuthorGirl
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
I like that it's the "Deluxe." Was there a slightly cheaper, non-Deluxe version that was, perhaps, less like a slide rule?
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CristinaS
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
Oh god, this reminds me of Catholic high school. Thank god the teachers went solo and described REAL birth control to us -- but they also HAD to tell us about the rhythm method, thank you, Pope John Paul II. They looked so sheepish and embarrassed. I think they were praying that we wouldn't listen to this crock.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
05/05/09

@CristinaS: eh, PJP deuce was pretty much the Catholic Church's last hope for entering the 20th Century. He was doing his best with what he had, I believe.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
05/05/09

In reply to Rhythm Nation
I like sex and all, but I'd forgo it entirely if participating in it safely required calculus.
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Kristi Burton Is Not Exactly Beloved By The Anti-Abortion Movement

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