A 44-year-old woman in Cantonment, Florida, has been arrested and charged with petit larceny for allegedly stealing Christmas decorations from random front yards. The sticky-fingered grinch was caught redhanded by a man who witnessed her stuffing holiday cheer into her trunk.
After prudish neighbors dismantled Sarah Childs' traditional middle finger Christmas light display, the woman responded by re-assembling the light display, but this time with two middle fingers. On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: zero fucks. Absolutely zero fucks.