• Full House star Jodie Sweetin, who recently turned her life around after a trip down Child-Star-Turned-Meth-Addict lane, is divorcing her husband of 16 months, Cody Herpin. Herpin, who Sweetin credits with helping her in her recovery process, claims he is "dumbfounded" by the divorce and is worried about the couple's 7-month-old daughter, Zoie. "Over this past month something has been different," Herpin says, "I'm concerned about our daughter and I just want (Zoie) home." [People]

• Things are not looking good for Lindsay and Sam: according to a "source," the couple had yet another fight last night in Dubai during a hotel launch party. "At one stage Lindsay approached Sam in the DJ booth and screamed at her, 'How many more songs? How long is it going to take for you to pack up?"' The pair have apparently been "fighting like cats and dogs," and as Dodai reported yesterday, are reportedly looking at couples therapy to help them patch things up. [DailyMail]

• Jessica Simpson is thrilled about her new nephew, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. "Bronx is beyond precious," Simpson tells US Magazine, "I'm over the moon with joy. Life is a beautiful miracle.[US Magazine]

• Meanwhile, a baby-naming expert doesn't think Bronx Mowgli will set off a baby-name trend. Ya think? [US Magazine]

• Is Britney gearing up for a world tour? Apparently she was in court yesterday to discuss the possibility, according to court spokesman Allan Parachini: "There isn't a lot I can tell you about it. There was discussion of Ms. Spears' future immediate business plans. Particularly touring in support of her album."[E!]

• Aaron Eckhart had only lovely things to say about his co-star, Jennifer Aniston: "It was wonderful; she was awesome to work with. Good friend, sweet girl, total pro. She has just a heart of gold, and I totally enjoyed the experience.”[E!]

• Twilight is already raking it in at the box office: the film has taken in over 27 million dollars so far.[HuffingtonPost]

• President Bush's daughter, Barbara, has some advice for the Obama girls: "I think my advice to them is just, when they move...just make really good friends and surround themselves with people that will protect them because they love them regardless."[US Magazine]

• Are you in the market for a slightly-used couch? Well you're in luck, because Jenna Jameson is selling hers on Ebay in order to raise money for the twins she's currently pregnant with.[ASocialite'sLife]

• Can't wait until 2009 to catch a glimpse of the upcoming Bruno film? A sneak peak can be found here.[FashionWeekDaily]

• Travis Barker has filed a lawsuit against Bombardier Inc., Clay Lacy Aviation and Goodyear Tire and Rubber for their role in the crash that killed 4 of Barker's fellow passengers and left Barker severely burned last September. Barker claims that the Learjet from the crash was "defective," noting that "it's landing gear, tires, wheels, brakes, reverse thrust system, squat switches and component parts were not airworthy." Barker has been making progress since the tragedy:"I'm already playing my drums again," he says, "and I'm already back in the studio." [US Magazine]

• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden aren't broken up, you guys. They're just "taking a break," according to Paris. "He's my best friend," Hilton told Ryan Seacrest yesterday, "He's been so great to me, so loyal. He is an incredible person, and we will always be really close. We'll see what happens in the future. I'm still in love with him." [US Magazine]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were seen being quite affectionate with one another while having dinner with John's parents: ""Jennifer was constantly rubbing his hair and John was rubbing her back, then every so often they would steal a kiss. They both looked very happy and very much in love.” [TheSun]

• Don't expect to hear about Jennifer's love life on her Facebook page, however. "[Facebook is] not for me," she says, "I’d be opening myself up too much. I don’t want to sound like a complete innocent — I’ve looked at things, of course. But it’s such spewing. If I look at it, I’ll be affected. It’s like dancing with the devil." [Just Jared]

• Is Michael Cera the only cast member not on board with the upcoming Arrested Development movie? [LaineyGossip]

• Sarah Jessica Parker had no idea that removing her mole would be such a huge deal: "If I knew it was famous I never would have had it removed," Parker says, "My health is terrific. I never thought anybody had any emotional attachment to that mole. I certainly didn't. It was just one of those things where I had a couple weeks and I thought, "I can finally get that mole removed," like many people do. It was an incredibly slow news week . . . One woman said to me, "That's your signature!" I said, "That's my signature?! All these years of being worried about the work, I could have just counted on my mole?!"[PopSugar]

• Kissing Jessica Stein star Jennifer Westfeldt (who also happens to be Don Draper's girlfriend) will be joining the cast of Grey's Anatomy as a patient for a "multi-episode arc." [EW]

• Tila Tequila will be replaced by a set of bisexual twins for the next installment of A Shot At Love, which will now be titled, of course, A Double Shot At Love. Apparently the original title, OMG When Are People Going To Stop With The Sexy Twin Incest Biz, Seriously MTV, You Cancelled 120 Minutes For Shit Like This!? was a little too long.[People]

• Sean Penn: Lousy gay lover! Diego Luna was asked about kissing Sean for Milk and said, "It was...dry." He added: "I guess he was thinking about Franco." But costar James Franco claims kissing Sean was "fine." Not hot, steamy, fun. Fine. [E!]
• Britney's youngest son, Jayden, has been released from the hospital. He was rushed to the emergency room on Sunday is because he had an allergic reaction to something he ate. The 2-year-old had hives, was itchy and irritable. The family is "just not sure" what triggered the reaction. [Page Six, TMZ]
• Madonna had a dinner party at her apartment and invited her non-Kabbalah friends, so they could meet her "friend" Alex Rodriguez. [Mirror]
• Madonna let Guy see his sons! There's a picture of Rocco and David at the airport, hugging Guy. Apparently Madonna has a list of demands that Guy must meet while the kids are with him in London. It includes a ban on TV, non-organic food and clothes not sent by her. For some reason, can't you picture Guy getting the kids hopped up on sugar and Disney cartoons? [Daily Mail]
• People and Us Weekly put Barack Obama on their covers, and those issues sold extremely well. America wasn't interested in Jennifer Aniston or Suri Cruise last week? Really? [MSNBC]

• Will a Barack Obama documentary sweep the Emmys? It's co-produced by Ed Norton… [LA Times]
• Malia and Sasha Obama might get to visit the set of Hannah Montana! "The invitation is there," Billy Ray Cyrus says. "The Hannah Montana film comes out in April. Maybe something might happen around then. Maybe not. I don’t know… I have got to keep a secret." Uh, too late! [Access Hollywood]
• Michelle Williams' dad, Larry Williams, a prominent stock market trader, has agreed to return to the U.S. to face tax evasion charges. He's been in Australia, though he's actually a resident of the Virgin Islands. He possibly owes $1.5 million in unpaid taxes. [Yahoo News]
• Here's a snippet from the Blake Lively interview in W magazine: "Lively doesn’t even attempt to hide her glee at all the freebies foisted upon her, from designer dresses and diamond bangles to an utterly insane number of pricey purses. 'I probably have, like, 60 gorgeous bags,' she says. 'I have a closet with my really sharp, fancy, nice ones—the ones that go with my Valentino pumps, for example. And then I have a closet with the ones that are a little more rugged-feeling, the kind that go with my Belstaff motorcycle boots.'" [W]
• Juliette Lewis met Ed Westwick and said, "Who is this guy?" Someone's not watching Gossip Girl. He's Chuck Bass! [Rush & Molloy]
• The creators of Gossip Girl say the show is like "a chess game." See, "Chuck and Blair are the king and queen. Everyone else, except Serena, is a pawn.” Hmm, isn't the show more like Trouble, what with the pop-o-matic dice and the moving in circles? Wait, what was the question again? [People]
• Amy Winehouse "lost it" after finding out Blake Fielder-Civil contacted the "other woman" when he got out of jail. Blake Formerly Incarcerated says, "She hasn’t dumped me. We both love each other and will be together for ever. We have spoken on the phone and I’m expecting a visit from her any time now. We can’t wait to be back together." Keep hope alive! [The Sun]
• When asked about the rumors linking him to Evan Rachel Wood, Mickey Rourke said, "She's a good friend, that's it. Tell that faggot who wrote all that shit in the paper I'd like to break his fucking legs." Whoops! Mickey's sorry! Rourke has released a statement which reads, "I want to sincerely apologize for the derogatory word I used. It was insensitive and inappropriate of me and I am deeply sorry that I may have offended anyone." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Nicole Kidman was on Oprah yesterday, and at O's urging, she pulled out a picture of her baby, Sunday Rose. [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Nicole, something is up with her new flick, Australia. The studio forced director Baz Luhrmann to change the ending, but don't click unless you want to know, this entire article is a spoiler alert. [LA Times]
• Mariah Carey's demands for the World Music Awards: A £100,000 private jet transport to the ceremony in Monte Carlo and a £10,000-a-night penthouse suite at the exclusive Hotel de Paris for two nights. Plus! VIP treatment for her 15-member entourage. [Daily Mail]
• Mariah was on Simon Cowell's X Factor over the weekend, and some people are saying it was one of her worst performances ever. Click for video and judge for yourself. (My 2¢: Her voice is not what it used to be.) [The.Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which proud new papa isn't much of a family guy? The handsome actor, notorious for having a roving eye, was spotted leaving a downtown hot spot with the beautiful bartender." [Rush & Molloy]
• Evan Rachel Wood claims the Obama camp wanted Marilyn Manson to play for Barack. A spokesperson says, "That it not true." [Yahoo News]
• Isaiah Washington is speaking out about Brooke Smith being fired from Grey's Anatomy: "I looked at a brilliant actress, whom I have adored since I first saw her in Silence of the Lambs. For her to be treated this way, I find very interesting. The fact is that, just before the holidays, you have a mother, a wonderful actress removed from a steady income without the proper reasoning behind it…You look at the way another consummate professional [is] being treated because her character, her story line [has] potentially made producers uncomfortable. Now that I see what they're doing to a show that I love and I care about, I think it's disgusting. The fact that Shonda has been put in this position is extremely unfair. It's unfortunate because it was probably, at the time, the most progressive show on television. Now I see it [being] systematically torn apart. Bring Burke back!" Yeah, that's right, Burke. Not Brooke. He's talking about himself, you see. [Perez Hilton
• Oh dear: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will guest star on How I Met Your Mother. Well, at least Heidi's psuedo-employed after losing her fake job. [E!, People]
• America Ferrera will star and executive produce a drama called American Tragic, about a young war vet who sets off across the country with a buddy to find redemption. Ferrera will play his wife. [Variety]
• Queen Latifah will host the People's Choice Awards on January 7. [Variety]
• Are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel getting married or not? (Seems like "not.") [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins is still battling the New York City board of elections. Did he show up to the wrong polling place? Or did they change his location without him knowing? [Page Six, NY Times]
• Regis Philbin gave his old elementary school $1.5 million in 2005; it's since been shut down. Think he wishes he had the cash back? [Page Six]
• Will Eminem's new CD come out on time? There was a December due date, but a source says, "He is being a perfectionist and is completely obsessive-compulsive about this album. There's a 50-50 chance it will be done by the end of this year - but most likely it'll be the first quarter of next year." After this long, why rush? [Page Six]
• NBC's Medium returns in January with new castmember Tracy Pollan, aka Mrs. Michael J. Fox. [EW]
• In Roger Moore's memoir, you learn that that during the filming of Live and Let Die, his first Bond flick, he had kidney stones, so he took a painkiller, methylene, that both knocked him out and turned his urine blue. He woke up in the middle of the night, mistook his closet for a bathroom and peed all over his clothes, "dying them a delightful azure." [Time]
• Kelsey Grammer on Sarah Palin: "I don't know that she doesn't know that Africa is a continent… And if I read it in the New York Times, I have to get a second source." Damn librul media! [TMZ]
• The Dallas reunion was a Texas-sized mess! Hundreds more people than expected showed up for Saturday night's barbecue and cast reunion at Southfork Ranch; angry fans complained they didn't get the access to cast members they'd paid $500 to see; while others got close to the stars without paying. [Yahoo News]
• By the by, Mayim Bialik, the star of '90s sit com Blossom, had a baby about a month or two ago. Her second child, a boy named Fred. [TMZ]
• Former boy band mogul, Lou Perlman, is discussed in a new book, and the consensus is the dude is "creepy" and tried to "wrestle" with the boys he managed. Perlman's currently serving a 25-year jail sentence for conspiracy, money laundering, etc. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actress Gong Li: Being called a traitor, because she's decided to become a Singaporean citizen. (She was born and raised in China.) [Breitbart]
• Tony Dow, who played Wally on Leave It To Beaver, will have one of his abstract sculptures on display at the Louvre. Upgrade! [Yahoo News]
• Headline of the day: "Fleetwood Mac's Lindsey Buckingham wants to play a song for President George W Bush called 'Treason.'" [Telegraph]
• WTF. Another William Shatner video, in which he talks shit about George Takei. [Perez Hilton]
• James Cromwell, who starred in the Babe movies, is recovering from a broken collarbone and partially deflated lung after falling off of his bicycle in an L.A.-area canyon on Sunday. He should be out of the hospital now. That'll do! [AP]
• Geri Halliwell has dumped her "toyboy" lover, dancer Ivan "Flipz" Velez. He's devastated. Maybe his new middle name will be "Mopez." [Mirror]
• Here's a rare photograph of Marilyn Monroe in stockings and garters. [Telegraph]
• Chris March of Project Runway was interviewed by a snarky New York magazine editor and wasn't really amused. The writer was mocking Seal's facial scars, though, so: Team March. [NY Mag]
• Beyoncé says offers have come in from magazines wanting wedding pictures and it's "crazy money that's just ridiculous." Don't worry, B is classier than that: "It's so not worth it. If anything, if you wanna put something out, then put it out, not for (money). We worked really hard at keeping it private. I've always been this way, and he's always been this way, so that's why we complement each other. We always knew that it would be private and quiet, for all the right reasons." [AP]
• Here's a lovely poem Chuck Norris has written about Barack Obama's "political stink." It rhymes! [E&P Pub]
• "He’s never let himself become a lost cause. He’s hardcore and very strong. Off-duty he flies his own plane and helicopter and he insists on doing as many of his own stunts as possible. It’s him riding the bikes and throwing the punches — he doesn’t palm it off to a stunt man." — Jamie Milnes, Harrison Ford's personal trainer, on working with him for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. [Telegraph]
• "I thought it would be easy to cast a Bond girl, because there are so many beautiful women in this world. But not many of them can act. Their acting needed to be really strong and three-dimensional. Historically, the role of women in the world has changed. You can't have someone in a Bond film just as a sex object. [But] they have to be sexy and beautiful. That's what people expect, and that's what Bond is about." — Quantum Of Solace director Marc Forster. [Esquire]
• "I call her 'The Mouse.' And The Mouse holds on to the edge of a chair now and is gaining the confidence to think, 'Maybe these legs belong to me.' I keep telling Nicole that it's a bad sign, because once those legs gain confidence, then they're out of here!" — Lionel Richie on 10-month-old granddaughter Harlow. [People]
• "She taught me the importance of looking good and feeling good but also that beauty comes from within, because it fades. I looked at her like a therapist and a makeover queen –- the perfect glamorous smart woman. People would walk in, talk to her and tell her their issues and they'd walk out feeling and looking like a new woman." — Beyoncé, on her mother, who owned a hair salon when B was a kid. [People]
• "It's cool when you have a movie where you can show another side of yourself, like this one does. The movie is not going to be successful, I don't think. It's not the usual Van Damme action movie, so I'm not really kicking butt. People who know me, they know my story, that I came with nothing and because famous with martial arts. I did the movie because it felt good to do something like that. [I won't do a reality show because] I don't want to expose my family or even my animals to the cameras all the time. You can't even go to the toilet because they shove a camera up your butt. I would probably throw the camera out the window. They did approach me once, though — the channel with the guy with the long hair. Gene Simmons? [Checks with son.] No, it was Ozzy Osbourne, who's a big teddy bear. A letter came to my desk and he wanted to know if I'd do a reality show. Bad or good, only God should know what you're doing at all times." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [WSJ]
• "It was OK. I wasn’t into the waif thing. She kind of looked like my nephew. I mean she’s beautiful – she’s a very pretty nephew – but I’m more into curvy women." — Mark Wahlberg on posing with Kate Moss in those 1992 Calvin Klein ads. [The Sun]
• "I'm running a business. And sometimes being the boss of your own empire and creation, you have to be assertive. Being a female, that comes with being labeled a 'bitch' and given titles that men wouldn’t receive. But if that’s what I’m going to be called by being assertive and knowing who I am and what I want out of life, so be it. I wear that label proudly." — Christina Aguilera in Rolling Stone. [MSNBC]
• "I apparently offended some animal lovers. Um, really people? I love animals as much as anyone, I don't eat pork – so for those of you fighting that good fight against me ... shut up! I was just pointing out the fact that people in California seem to care more about animal rights than human rights … I'm not running around killing chickens for fun or firing a slingshot at a squirrel." — Samantha Ronson, resonding to people who were offended by her Prop 2 vs. Prop 8 post. [People]
• "[I said] 'Sen. Obama, when you were in school in Boston, did you encounter any racism?' And he said something really interesting. He said, um. He said, 'I'm Kanye West.'" — Sarah Silverman. [Page Six]

"Brooke Smith was obviously not fired for playing a lesbian. Clearly it's not an issue as we have a lesbian character on the show – Calliope Torres. Sara Ramirez is an incredible comedic and dramatic actress and we wanted to be able to play up her magic. Unfortunately, we did not find that the magic and chemistry with Brooke's character would sustain in the long run. The impact of the Callie/Erica relationship will be felt and played out in a story for Callie. I believe it belittles the relationship to simply replace Erica with 'another lesbian.' If you'll remember, Cristina mourned the loss of Burke for a full season."

TV critics are being extremely vocal about this issue. EW's Michael Slezak writes, "Brooke Smith's Grey's Anatomy ouster is not right and not okay… Was it the lesbianism they objected to, or the fact that Dr. Hahn didn't bake muffins or decorate lockers or act generally flighty-flaky-cutesy or hook up with hot male colleagues to help her sort out her sexual orientation? Yeah, you could say I'm outraged." Melissa Silverstein from the Women & Hollywood blog says, "I loved the storyline for so many reasons, especially because neither Smith nor Ramirez were stick thin." And Mary McNamara of the LA Times offers this theory:

"I suspect what irked whoever made the call… [was] not that they were both women — good heavens, how dull — but that they were, how shall we say, average size. With hips, you know, and actual breasts. Not two girly waifs exchanging a stolen kiss or a grope in the women's room stall over a line of coke, not an androgynous club kid putting her best moves on some sitcom heroine. But two women of substance, physically and psychologically, falling in love and talking about it way too much, the way women tend to do."

Women & Hollywood's Silverstein also points out that the timing is suspect: "Remember the term from West Wing 'taking out the trash?' That's when they dump news on a day when nobody will notice. Me thinks ABC did some trash dumping last night." And it is interesting that today is the day California voters vote on Proposition 8, which seeks to outlaw gay marriage in the state. It's tough when you don't know what the network execs — or even Shonda Rhimes — are really thinking, but doesn't it seem like Grey's Anatomy missed out on an opportunity to make some truly groundbreaking television?

Exclusive: 'Grey's Anatomy' Discharges Dr. Hahn, Brooke Smith's 'Grey's Anatomy' Ouster Is Not Right And Not Okay [EW]
Critic's Notebook: Brooke Smith's Firing Is Bad For 'Grey's Anatomy,' And The World [LA Times]
ABC Freaks Out About Gay Grey's Storyline [Women & Hollywood]
'Grey's Anatomy' Has Change Of Heart About Dr. Hahn [USA Today]

• Ryan Gosling. Rachel McAdams. Back together. [Perez Hilton]
• Ellen blogs about her nuptials! "I had a big, big weekend. I got married to Portia de Rossi! Sorry, John Stamos… this one's taken. The wedding was everything we hoped it could be. I wish I could've invited all of you. But I have some pictures and video I can show you when Season 6 starts on September 8. I can't wait to see them too… it was all a blur. Blissfully yours, The just married Mrs. DeGeneres." [ET]
• LeRoi Moore, the sax player in the Dave Matthews Band, has died. He was injured in an ATV accident June 30 and suffered a punctured lung and broken ribs. Sudden complications from that accident sent him to the hospital yesterday, where he passed away unexpectedly. He was 46. [TMZ]
• Here's the latest on the Aniston/Mayer breakup: A source says, "She is so intent on getting married and having children, he felt hemmed in. After a 20-minute phone conversation, he just said, 'I can't take it any more,' and hung up. Then he texted, 'That's it - the end.'" Pretty please, can this be THE END of reports about these two? [Mirror]

• Madonna drank "Crack Baby" shots on her birthday, which are made with vodka and champagne. Blech. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Taylor is back home and doing well after being hospitalized. She's planning trips to Europe and Hawaii and weighing in on holiday packaging for her perfume line White Diamonds. Be well, Liz! [Yahoo News]
• What you didn't see on The Hills: Heidi and Spencer running their mouths. Oh, and apparently Lauren went out with Doug Reinhardt back when she was in high school. [E!]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is preparing to sue a U.K. magazine over an article claiming she's "hooked on sex and diet pills." Apparently she doesn't take diet pills. No word on the sex. [Yahoo News]
• Michael Phelps' Saturday night race pulled a hell of a lot of viewers for NBC, but The Golden Girls is still the most-watched Saturday night show of the last 18 years. Thank you for being a friend! [Yahoo News]
• BTdubs, swimmer Amanda Beard is not dating Michael Phelps. "Ew, no!" she says. [MSNBC]
• Revealed! Jessica Alba's baby weight-loss plan! Low-fat, low-carb diet! Core exercises! Cardio and circuit training! Working out with a girlfriend! Kill me now! [People]
• Sharon Stone, 50, is dating a dude named Chase who is 24. That is all. [Perez Hilton]
• This report says that Balthazar Getty's wife Rosetta is convinced he started hooking up with Sienna when he and Rosetta were still together. Sick of this story yet? [Mirror]
• Chris Martin says he'll never trash a hotel room — because he used to clean them. "When you’re a cleaner and you walk into a trashed room, it’s truly annoying… Spare a thought for the poor schmuck cleaning the room." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has booked into a rehab clinic just a short drive from Blake Incarcerated's jail. [The Sun]
• The Australian men's sailing team won a gold medal yesterday after getting a good luck call from Nicole Kidman. The guy didn't pick up at first: True story! [People]
• Theyyyyy're here! Poltergeist remake, in the works. Stay away from the light, Carole Anne! [Variety]
• Leona Lewis, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus and Rihanna have teamed up for a charity track, "Just Stand Up." There will be a Just Stand Up To Cancer TV special on September 5; the song should hit iTunes a few days earlier. [The Sun]
• Apparently Sir Bob Geldof has been dealing with the stress from daughter Peaches' antics by going dancing. Sometimes what they call "gossip" isn't. [The Sun]
• A sneak peek of Sanjaya's Nationwide Mutual Insurance commercial, in which he has lots of different hairstyles. [People]
• Luke Wilson might be dating a Yale-educated lawyer named Meg Simpson. Stay Tuned. [Village Voice]
• James Hetfield of Metallica erected a fence on his California property which blocks access to a fire road used by hikers and equestrians. Kill 'em all! [UPI]
• Jessica Simpson is doing beer ads for Dallas' Stampede Brewing Co. Classy. [Yahoo News]
• Spotted: Al Pacino wearing blue nail polish. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton is taking that crappy best friend show idea to London. Sorry, Brits! [Guardian]
• A leading Italian medial group doesn't want ER or Grey's Anatomy to air on Italian television: "These programs are teaching viewers inaccurate views on medicine," says Annalisa Silvestro, president of the National Federation of Medical College. "They are spreading misinformation." It's called entertainment, no? [Yahoo News]
• Roger Moore has a book coming out in November; a memoir called My Word Is Bond. He recalls crashing a boat while filming Live And Let Die, cracking his front teeth and twisting his knee. "There I was, as a fearless 007, hobbling on a cane to my boat and then pretending to be indestructible for the cameras. Who says I can't act?" [AP]
• Pete Doherty's band is banned from the Moonfest festival in Westbury, Wiltshire, next week. The police say: "We carried out an analysis of what Pete Doherty and his band does. What he does as part of his routine is to gee up the crowd. They speed up and then slow down the music and create a whirlpool effect in the crowd. They [the crowd] all get geed up and then they start fighting." Um, ok. [Guardian]
• Gossip straight outta 1992: Kurt Cobain vs. Axl Rose; Stephanie Seymour vs. Courtney Love. [Rush & Molloy]
• Headline of the day: "I Want An IVF Baby With My Fifth Husband After I've Posed For Playboy, Says Surgically Remodelled Brigitte Nielsen." [This Is London]
• Gary Glitter was supposed to be deported to the UK, but he conveniently collapsed in a Thai airport hotel room complaining about his heart. [Guardian]
• "It's very difficult to be a career person and have a relationship. I didn't succeed at doing it at all. It's incredibly hard… I empowered myself by not staying in the thing with Russell [Crowe]. I felt it was going to be repeating some similar patterns that I'd just gotten out of and it was a drag because I was crazy about him." — Meg Ryan. [Daily Mail]
• "It was my first nude scene and it wasn’t supposed to be me. I had a body double and we had some complicating factors with her. It was sort of a last minute thing, where I said, 'I’ll just go ahead and do this.' I was really uncomfortable. This crew that I’d been working with, that knows me when I put on my producer hat, suddenly sees me naked. It was really humiliating." — Anna Faris, on The House Bunny. [ONTD]
• "It's fatal when actresses use Botox. I remember seeing Cold Mountain, and it really looked to me like Nicole Kidman had been using it. Her face was neither sad nor glad — nor anything, she was just like a painted doll. I thought: 'Why would she do that?'" — Britt Ekland, the Bond girl once married to Peter Sellers. [Page Six]

[Los Angeles, August 4. Images via INFDaily.]

Why, it's 90210's Kelly Taylor. "Born to a cokehead mom and an absentee dad, Kelly, in no particular order, lost her virginity via date rape, ODed on diet pills, was badly burned in a house fire, joined a cult, dated a cokehead, became an addict, was single-white-femaled, miscarried, got shot by carjackers, developed amnesia, was sexually harassed by a member of the medical profession, was attacked and raped in an alley, eventually killed her rapist in revenge, and lived through dozens of other comparatively piddling traumas." And Kel's reaction to these unfortunate incidents was always meek acceptance.

An exception to the rule is Buffy, but as we all know, Buffy existed in a supernatural universe. The ladies of Lost are similarly kick ass, but again: they live in a fractured world, not one that is striving for realism. Are there female characters out there taking names who exist in semi-realistic settings? Glenn Close on Damages comes to mind; so does Mariska Hartigay on Law and Order SVU. What other characters are avoiding victimhood successfully (and no, hookers and doormats don't count).

Heigl Says No Thanks, Emmy, It's Undeserved [AP]
The Beautiful And The Damned: From Kelly Taylor To Meredith Grey, The Long-suffering Ladies Of Prime-time TV [Radar]

The Good:

Helena Christensen: one of the few models who actually has personal style.

Christy Turlington & Ed Burns are the heterosexual coupling equivalent of Chanel No. 5. Contemplate.

It's not easy to rock rosettes. Selma Blair does it with aplomb.


The Bad:

In the words of Slut Machine: Stripper? Or New Jersey teenager? Or [gasp] Margerita Missoni?

Did no one tell Barbara Bush to stand up straight? Also, everyone knows Krazy Karl is a Hillary supporter — we suspect he instructed this dress to choke the First Daughter.

Did no one tell Tory Burch that this was a black tie affair?


The Ugly:

Holy shit: Ellen Pompeo looks like the bastard love child of the Crypt Keeper and Daisy Buchanan!

While there may be some truth to Heigl's complaint that Knocked Up "Paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys," it also raised her tinsel town profile by leaps and bounds: she's now making $6 mil a picture and starring in big budget studio films like 27 Dresses. Speaking of which, can Katherine really be that concerned with perpetuating stereotypes of women when she's starring in a movie with the tagline, "This January, always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? To portray women as marriage-obsessed isn't sexist at all, right Katie?

Heigl Knocks 'Knocked' [New York Post]
Heigl Voltage [Vanity Fair]

Earlier: Didn't Like Knocked Up? Screw You
What To Expect When You're Expecting Too Much From A Movie
The Celebrity Sartorial Health Care Complex

[LAX, July 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, June 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The four signature styles include "London" for an edgy metropolitan look, "Connecticut" for upscale style and blazer-inspired jackets, "Los Angeles" for "every hip-casual starlet," and "Seattle" for earthy colors and cargo pants. Peaches Uniforms said the new line will be available nationwide in select stores or online and each item will be priced under $25. Now women from the emergency room to dental offices to medical laboratories can express themselves in an array of colors and flattering cuts, and in fabric that's virtually stain proof, the manufacturer says. The C.E.O. of the Dallas-based Peaches Uniforms, Barry Rothschild, calls Heigl a role model for women in the healthcare industry. "Katherine is taking this industry to a whole new level. In the past, the only licensed products for women in healthcare uniforms involved cartoon characters."

Ok, so seriously, we think it's a good idea, but what's up with "edgy metropolitan" scrubs in "flattering cuts"? The classic scrub has enjoyed the best unintentional product placement in, like, the history of the outfits. Julianna Margulies. Christine Lahti. Maura Tierney who reminds us so much of a more attractive Kelly Clarkson. That chick from Bend It Like Beckham who was not annoying Keira Knightley. Mariska Hargitay is about the only actress who would make this fundamentally gross article of clothing any hotter by association. So yeah, Katie, don't let the make those cuts too flattering, yes?

UPDATE: here's a pic from the "collection." Hm. We are underwhelmed. We think that is a good thing for scrubs.

'Knocked Up' Star's New Baby [Portfolio.com]

First and foremost, what will happen to Cristina Yang? Dumped by her fiance, Burke, at her wedding, Cristina now has no man, no eyebrows, and, if series creator Shonda Rhimes has anything to say about it, no sense of self. So our favorite bitch has got lots of work to do next year. And what better time than now for Cristina to connect with her Jewish heritage?! Sure, it isn't really a "heritage" per se, since, uh, she's Asian and all... but why let that stop the her?! Just look at Madonna! At least Cristina's parents are Jewish! Speaking of Madonna, Cristina will learn to let go of her anxiety by focusing her energies on founding a Kabbalah center in Seattle. Or at least a Kabbalah study group at Seattle Grace. If you can't have a man, at least you can have red string around your wrist!

With Addison gone and Meredith and McDreamy on a break, McSteamy and Meredith should get it on. Hardcore. Anyone can screw in the off-duty room. Or a supply closet. But these two need to do it in front of everyone. (In the gallery of the teaching operating theatre! Inverse voyeurism!) And then McDreamy can start sleeping with the new intern, Meredith's half-sister (whom she's never met) Lexi, which would mean that, basically, McDreamy, Meredith, Addison, Sloane, and poor, innocent Lexi Grey will all have exchanged bodily fluids and can stand in a circle and sing Kumbaya.

Alex Karev (Justin Chambers) needs to forget about the faux-amnesiac, "Ava" (aka Rebecca) and get back together with Izzie Stevens. George, meanwhile, should go ahead and end his marriage to Callie and admit — in a great art-imitating-life moment! — that he's actually gay. And since he failed the boards and can't be a doctor anymore, we suggest we start a fabulous new life... as a fashion designer, naturally!

Isaiah Washington Let Go From 'Grey's Anatomy' [People.com]

Quite frankly, we're worried about Addison. She used to be one fierce bitch, but the more time she spent in Seattle, the whinier and weaker she got. So we're understandably concerned that when she make the big move to L..A., her sass will only further erode. So as a preventative measure, we've come up with ahem, a prescription we think will help both bring her back to her former ways, and save her from becoming another vapid LA twat.

Doctor's Notes For Addison Montgomery:

1) Don't go blonde. We know, we know — everyone's doing it and you want to fit in with your new surroundings. But a good 80% of your character is that you are, simply, the chick with the fiery locks. Keep it that way.

2) Don't starve yourself. If we wanted a series centered around an emaciated woman, Meredith Grey would have gotten the gig.

3) Hook up with the hottest doc we've seen yet, Sam [Taye Diggs]. Sure, Sam's the ex-husband of your best friend, but not only would that not have deterred the old you, it would have encouraged you. Go for it. Please.

4) Do not hook up with the surfer dude who plays receptionist at the clinic. First off, aforementioned best friend has a thing for him. Ex-husbands are one thing. Rebound eye-candy is a whole other story. Also, we're not sure he's of legal age, and while your judgment has been slipping lately, even you wouldn't put yourself at risk of statutory rape.

5) Sort out that whiny therapist girl, Violet, stat. Shoot her mean looks and if that doesn't work, sleep with her newly-married ex-boyfriend. Tough love is needed, and no one knows that better than you.

6) And whatever you do, do not — we repeat, DO NOT — go to Pinkberry. One spoonful of yogurt, and you're too far gone to save, girl. Pinkberry is what blonde, eating-disordered L.A. girls do to solve their problems instead of, say, sleeping with their best friend's ex-husband. You are not that woman.

To sum up: Have safe, legal sex, don't touch your hair, and eat . (Just not yogurt).

Addison's Loading Up the U-Haul for LA [People.com]