Cable Vibrator Commercial Acknowledges That Masturbation Is For Women Of All Ages

1.) It Feels Better Without a Condom
You know, people really get on their high horse when it comes to using condoms. Here's the thing: You know those PSAs or HBO Families in Crisis movies about the importance of safe sex? And there's always a guy who's like slimy and tries to sweet-talk his girlfriend into having sex without a condom because "it feels better." Well, he's right. It totally does feel better. I know, know! Condoms are important for many reasons and you should wear them. But for me, it feels way more natural without one and I'm much less likely to get a UTI. And if he re-ups and is able to fuck you again, and you guys go through with foreplay again, it doesn't taste as gross when you go down on him.

2.) Queefing
We've been over this. But in addition to what was already discussed, I'd like to add that you probably won't need to worry about queefing the first time, because most likely, you're so new down there that you're pretty much airtight.

3.) Location, Location, Location
Your pussy is prime real estate. If your body were a Monopoly board, your clit and vadge would be Boardwalk. A lot of guys don't know what the hell they're doing, and sometimes they just poke their dick around blindly. Make sure you guide them to the front hole, 'cause If he accidentally jams it in your butt or your taint, and you're not ready for it, you're not gonna like the way it feels. Trust! Which brings me to number four...

4.) Lube, Lube, Lube
This is seriously the most important thing for D in the V. (Or B...but no butts yet, I said!) Ideally, you want to be so turned on that your vadge is naturally wet, but that might not happen the first few times, for whatever reason (nervousness, fear, etc.) So just make sure you have a bunch of lube on hand. However, if you got a lot of bottled lube down there, you shouldn't attempt doggy style, because all that stuff will get in your pee hole and it will give you the mother of all UTIs.

5.) Tampons Will Fit Better After
No joke. They really will. I was never able to get tampons up there before I lost my virginity, probably because I was too tense whenever I tried. But the weekend after I did it for the first time (and the second, and third, and fourth, and so on), I decided to try to insert a slender/regular, even though I didn't have my period. Not nearly as much resistance and I was able to get the entire thing up there.

So there you go! Now, if you ever get around to it, you won't be so lost when you actually try to fuck. Just remember to be safe and wear a condom. (Even though, yeah, it feels better without it.)

For Guy Virgins: Basic Things No One Told Me About Sex [Dating Groundwork]

Earlier: Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?

I don't really remember how I exactly put it, but I mumbled (so as not to alert the other diners what a sicko I am) something about the pros and cons of period sex. 'Cause I don't know about anyone else, but I get crazy horny on my period. Not like the first two days when I'm like all diarrhea and cramping and it's super heavy, but like around day three or four. It can be difficult to talk guys into fucking you then, especially if you don't know them that well. Some dudes just get freaked by it, and don't recognize it for what it is — extra lube.

Anyway, whatever I said didn't faze Dr. Ruth at all. Without missing a beat, she said, "Just use a diaphragm to make it less messy." She cupped her hands up to illustrate, "It will catch it and keep it up there." Then she smiled, looked back down at her book and literally shooed us away with her hands. Best. Dismissal. Ever.

I had my period that day, and had plans to hang out with this dude later that night. We'd made out a few days before, but that was it. No feeling up or anything. But it was obvious that we were gonna bang, 'cause, you know, that's how I do. In the middle of fooling around, I jumped up to pull out my tampon, because I was scared I would come with it in and I have a weird phobia about that. We ended up having sex, but unfortunately, I don't have a diaphragm (even though I love the idea of one, it's so retro-feminist, single gal) so my sheets ended up paying the price for my good time. But I'm seriously thinking about taking Dr. Ruth up on her advice, and getting fitted for a diaphragm, so I don't have to deal with stain-sticking uterine lining from my linens.

Earlier: How About You Don't Ask To Come On My Face On The First Date?
Period Sex: A Do Or A Don't?