Jezebel: granny panties

Dita Von Teese Wants To Give Our Breasts A Lift

Jennifer — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:30:00 EST

Dita von Teese is collaborating with Wonderbra on a lingerie collection to be called — so original! — Wonderbra by Dita von Teese. Um, what would Dita von Teese know about needing a Wonderbra? [Vogue UK]
BBC reporter Jeremy Paxman, no stranger to calling attention to the pressing news stories of our time, is currently shifting the focus to the problem of...men's underwear. A letter he wrote to Marks & Spencer CEO Stuart Rose was printed in today's Times of London: "Like very large numbers of men in this country I have always bought my socks and pants [that's Britspeak for underwear, FYI] at Marks & Sparks...I have noticed that something very troubling has happened. There's no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support." [Vogue UK]
Scary: Designer Vivienne Tam has designed Mickey and Minnie Mouse new costumes for the Chinese New Year celebration at Disney China. Scarier: Replicas of the outfits are on sale in Tam's retail stores. [AP]

Katie Couric's style tips for how to not look old: "Number one, shorten your skirt. Right where the knee melts into the lower leg is the perfect length; if it's too long, it's very mumsy. Number two, change from a dark burgundy lipstick to a pink. It's the easiest thing you can do. And number three, have great skin. The better the skin, the less make-up you need, and there's no need to pile on the foundation." Um, have great skin. What a great beauty tip! Up there with "avoid being born to someone with bad genes." [Fashion Week Daily]
Ooooh: our favorite accessories brand we can't afford, Loeffler Randall, is debuting a swimwear line. Good thing we do not wear bathing suits! [WWD]
Are women rejecting cheap shoes? [Independent]
Nahhh, probably not. [LATimes]
Where's the best place for a designer to open up a flagship boutique in Amsterdam? The red light district, of course. [Reuters]
All this "feed the malnourished models" outrage and Erin O'Connor still thinks she is fat. [Independent]
We think granny panties are actually sort of sexy, so fuck you. [Sassybella]
"Little girls hear 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T' and don't know that it isn't an 'American Idol' song." Sigh. [LA Times]

British Writer: Bring Back Big-Bottomed Undies!

dodai — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 12:00:00 EST

In the wake of the story about how a pair of generously-sized underwear put out a fire, writer Caitlin Moran has written an amazingly funny piece for the Times of London on the "practical superiority of big pants." Is it time that big pants — or "granny panties", as they're known on this side of the pond [I call them "period panties" -Ed.] — made a comeback? Moran says she is "pro big pants" and argues that underwear is no longer something people don't talk about; unmentionables are totally mentionable! "In 2008, knickers are no longer a secret," she claims. "Pencil skirts, skin-tight jeans and leggings - they all allow us to witness an exact outline of the wearer's pants." The problem, Moran argues, is that "Instead of having something that, sensibly and reassuringly, contains both the buttocks — what I would call a good pair of pants — they're wearing little more than gluteal accessories, or arse-trinkets."

Moran pleads with women to try out granny panties:

'Why are we starving our bottoms of the resources - like an extra metre of material - to stay comfortable? Why have we succumbed to pantorexia? It is, of course, all a symptom of women's continuing, demented belief that, at any moment, they might face some snap inspection of their 'total hotness,' and have to reveal their underwear to a baying crowd, possibly featuring George Clooney. In this respect, women have communally lost all reason. Ladies! On how many occasions in the past year have you needed to wear sexy pants? In other words, to break this right down, how many times this year have you suddenly, unexpectedly, had sex in a brightly lit room, with a hard-to-please erotic connoisseur? Exactly. On those kind of odds, you might just as well be keeping a backgammon board down there, to entertain a group of elderly ladies in the event of emergencies. It's more likely to happen.'

She continues by noting that guys really do not care what kind of underwear women sport. "They're really not that fussy." (Didn't Hugh Grant's character in Bridget Jones' Diary still shag Bridget despite her pillowy panties?) So women have no one to blame but ourselves! And she clarifies that she's not promoting the horrible flesh-colored briefs you may be imagining. Instead, think "bright teal French knickers in silk, ribbony bloomers, frilly cancan scanties and amazing satin shorts from the 1950s."

So how 'bout it, girls? You ready to ditch the thongs?

Coming To A Bottom Near You: Pantorexia [Times of London]
Earlier: Pants On Fire

Pants On Fire

Slut Machine — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:45:00 EST

Granny panties: They're not just for comfort, they also can save your life. After a kitchen fire started in the northern England home of Jenny Marsey, her son and nephew reached for her size 18-20, high-waisted, cotton briefs laying on top of the laundry pile, and used them as a fire blanket, successfully extinguishing the flames. Of her life-saving knickers, Marsey said: "I call them my emergency ones. They're the ones you wear when you've run out of all your others!" [The Guardian]