The name itself has a soft quality to it, both in its meaning and in its sibilant ending. Then again, it also starts with "Gr." Which may be why a Grace, to me, is a study in contradictions. She may be sweet and quiet, with a demure haircut (I'm thinking bangs) and a predilection for sweater sets. But in her spare time, she likes to kickbox, or beatbox, or breakdance, or climb mountains. Or her hidden strength might be more intellectual in nature — you lose track of her for a few years after college, only to find out that she's the country's leading nuclear physicist. Or, like, a senator. Point is, she's the kind of girl about whom you're tempted to say, "I didn't know she had it in her." Except you kind of did.

Grace Jones is a good example, in some ways. Her androgynous image jibes with the grr/sss duality of the name — Graces are capable of holding two identities in one. But her fierceness seems to have been pretty obvious from the get-go. Grace Kelly may fit the Grace bill better. With her cool beauty, her perfect hair, and her marriage to a prince, she seemed very demure — and maybe not that exciting. But a Larry King segment from 2003 revealed Kelly's Grace moment: when the Stork Club refused to serve Josephine Baker because of her race, Kelly got up and left, swearing never to return. She never did, and she and Baker became friends. This strikes me as typical Grace — maybe she spent most of high school twirling her pearls, but you'll always remember her for at least one vehement stand.

But maybe my favorite example is actress Grace Park. On Battlestar Galactica, she played a sweet yet efficient lieutenant who was having a secret affair with another officer. Already two identities! But — her character was also a Cylon, which makes not one but two surprises hidden behind her law-abiding exterior. And yet, neither revelation, when it came, seemed out of character at all. Of course, Battlestar is fictional, and Grace Park's character on the show was actually named Sharon. But whatever — I never said this was science.

Grace's popularity graph is pretty interesting. The name was apparently #14 in America in the 1880s, then began sliding. It limped along in the 200s during the fifties and sixties — maybe those Commie-fearing times weren't kind to names with a lot of secrets. Grace hit a low of 371 in the seventies, and then started to climb again, reaching number 13 in 2003 and 2004. In 2008 it was back down to 21, but don't count Grace out — a recession seems like a good time for a name that does double duty.

Grace [Wikipedia]
Grace Popularity Chart [Baby Name Wizards]

Most of Amber Rose's Complex shoot, which was photographed by Matt Doyle, refers to iconic shots of Grace Jones. The image of Amber with jewelry in her mouth, for example, is a recreation of this picture of Grace eating diamonds, as photographed by Gordon Munro for Interview in the '80s:

There's Amber smoking in a tux…

And Grace smoking in a tux, on the cover of her 1981 album, Nightclubbing.

There's Amber in a cropped grey tee, with boxing hand wraps…

And Grace, on the cover of her '82 single "Pull Up To The Bumper," wearing a cropped grey tee and boxing tape.

There's Amber, her naked body covered in oil, posing with a whip…

And Grace, her naked body covered in oil, with a whip.

Perhaps most offensively, there's Amber in a cage.

And Grace in a cage.

The French artist Jean-Paul Goude shot that last image of Jones; the two were involved in a tempestuous and sometimes violent relationship. The objectification and exoticization of black women isn't incidental to Goude's art: it's the whole point. "Blacks are the premise of my work," the artist told People in 1979, "I have jungle fever."

In case anyone thought that was a joke, Jungle Fever was also the title of Goude's 1982 book. The shot of a caged Jones made the cover.

So it's no surprise that Goude shot Jones surrounded by raw meat, under a sign that reads "DO NOT FEED THE ANIMAL." But why would Complex choose to emulate images, some of which come across as not just dated, but riven with deep and troubling statements about black women as animalistic, primitive, and uncivilized creatures? Latoya Peterson has noted of such pictures that the women are always "looking like they are ready to fly off the page and attack." Claire Sulmers of The Fashion Bomb says of the Complex photos the message is that "these women are so wild they must be caged–they're sultry, snarling sex beasts."

Modeling opportunities for women of color in general are slim; as we know, far too many designers consider diversity on the runway and in their advertising to be entirely optional. The industry's slowness in even inviting black models to the metaphorical table is probably why, thirty years on, Grace Jones remains the most easily identifiable short-haired black model, and therefore a ready subject with which for Complex to associate the close-cropped, bi-racial Amber Rose. (Imagine if Jerry Hall were still considered the only and ultimate blonde model, or Paulina Porizkova were still the touchstone brunette, and white models starting their careers were constantly booked on jobs that recreated exclusively those women's old spreads.)

The industry's general unwillingness to embrace models of color as anything besides the exoticized "other" is thwarting the development and popularization of other kinds of black beauty. Even Alek Wek, the Sudanese supermodel, noted that she was often asked to pose in spreads that she felt fitted into a wider and more troubling tradition of black people's representation in the mainstream media, particularly with regard to a Lavazza calendar where she posed inside a coffee cup, her skin intended to represent the espresso. As Wek wrote in her memoir, "I can't help but compare them to all the images of black people that have been used in marketing over the decades. There was the big-lipped jungle-dweller on the blackamoor ceramic mugs sold in the '40s; the golliwog badges given away with jam; Little Black Sambo, who decorated the walls of an American restaurant chain in the 1960s; and Uncle Ben, whose apparently benign image still sells rice."

It's worth noting that in re-creating these pictures, Complex did tone them down; gone are the chains from the whip photo, and so too is the raw meat and the sign explicitly referring to the model as an animal in the cage photo. The choices the Complex art director made are almost certainly intended to mitigate the offense of the original images; we've come at least some way as a society since Jean-Paul Goude's day. But how long will it be before we automatically recognize any picture of a black woman caged up like an animal as offensive?

Amber Rose [Complex]
Caged Black Women: Amber Rose & Grace Jones [The Fashion Bomb]
When Disco Queen Grace Jones Lamented 'I Need a Man,' Artist Jean-Paul Goude Prowled Too Near Her Cage [People]
Darker Skinned Glamour Girls [Racialicious]
Bitter Coffee [NY Post]

Earlier:
How Did New York Fashion Week's 116 Shows Treat Models Of Color?

• Confirmed: Madonna will do the Louis Vuitton fall campaign. With Jesus Luz? I imagine LVMH execs did a pro/con weighing the headline value against the risk that Madge would dump her boytoy ere September. [Grazia]

• No pesky swine flu pandemic threat level five business will put the fear into superstylist/downtown savant/Socrates afficionado Pat Field. When asked if she was afraid of the illness, she replied, "No. We're in America and we don't give a shit about anything." [The Cut]
• Frenchie actress and hobbyist 9/11 conspiracy theorist Marion Cotillard, new face of Lady Dior, will, unsurprisingly, wear Dior to the Met ball on Monday. [WWD]
• Fashionologie has an excellent roundup of the Met ball news, from which designers are sitting this year out due to the cost, to who's taking whom as a date. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama's March Vogue cover was a top-selling issue, moving 560,000 copies on the newsstand, which is 1,000 more than 2008's best-seller, the September issue. [WWD]
• Elle MacPherson designed a cashmere sweater for her sister-in-law's line, Banjo & Matilda. It costs $499 Australian. [British Vogue]
• Behnaz Sarafpour went to Saudi Arabia to show her line in a trunk show (organized by a princess and attended by women only, naturally) and the designer reports that it is totally an underrated holiday destination. "I even got to ride a camel for the first time!!! Very Lawrence of Arabia!!!" [WWD]
• The launch party for Matthew Williamson's H&M line doubled as a booze cruise. Only unlike your pre-recession enforced-jollity work do, his had Grace Jones performing. [Style.com]
• And a pants-less Chanel Iman. [The Cut]
• Sophie Dahl: "When you've got big bosoms and a really big bottom it's difficult to get dressed. You end up looking slightly pornographic in everything. But it's nice to be able to get into jeans and a T-shirt and not have your breasts do the talking." [Daily Express]
• V's take on a swimsuit issue looks like a winner. Six different models on the cover, including a sizzling Naomi Campbell, shot against a yellow background. Campbell marks her 25th year in the industry this year, so naturally, she's hinting about a retirement. That'll never stick. [Daily Mail]
• Francisco Costa is going to be on Martha Stewart's show tomorrow. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole is going to be a commencement speaker at Northeastern University. Wanna take odds on 30 continuous minutes of puns? [FWD]
• A collection of Christian Lacroix's couture theater and opera costumes is being shown in Singapore — the first exhibition of the French designer's work outside France. Patsy would just die to be there. [Dazed Digital]
• Under Armour is recalling 211,000 athletic cups. Because they come from a batch that "can break if hit, posing a serious injury hazard to athletes." [BlackBook]
• An awful lot of Isaac Mizrahi's recently-released first collection for mass-market retailer Liz Claiborne has already been discounted, notes Racked. [Racked ]
• Hugo Boss's net profits shrank by 2% in the first quarter of 2009. [WWD]
• Men's Wearhouse just discovered its own long-existing Prom Rep program — a kind of Tupperware Party of tux rental, with "referrals" and "rewards" for customers willing to transform themselves into vectors of corporate marketing with a target lock on their friends — is perfect for the Twittered, Facebooked, atomized high school world of now. Isn't that nice. [BrandWeek]

• Suck on this: Madonna will be involved in New Moon, the Twilight sequel. Her Madgesty will not only be in the film, but supply music for the soundtrack. Brain exploding, brb. [ONTD via E!]

• Hayden Panettiere, 19, and Milo Ventimiglia, 31, are over. Done. Apparently "Hayden tried to break up with Milo many times since Christmas, but he wouldn't accept it." She wants to be free; he wants to settle down. [Star]
• Lily Allen and Perez Hilton are in a "Twitter catfight." He wrote: "If I wanted to be a fucked-up Brit, I'd rather be Amy Winehouse – whose[sic] got talent." She fired back: "God, you're like so obsessed with me its embarrassing." He sniped about her album being discounted; she called him a little parasite. Isn't the internet fun? [Telegraph]
• A charity set up by Prince Harry is accused of promising £30,000 to the children of poverty-stricken Lesotho, only to have the money fail to materialize. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry also flew a training aircraft yesterday, despite failing his exams last week. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham "finally got" wife Victoria to agree to move to Milan. Ciao, off you go! [The Sun]
• Chris Brown has hired Paris Hilton's spin doctor, Mike Sitrick. But Fox News's Roger Friedman says Sitrick is "universally disliked by the press" and that Chris is "clueless." [Fox 411]
• Julia Roberts looks beachy keen on the March cover of Allure and says she'd like to have dinner with the Obamas. "The girls can play with my kids." She also says: "I think it should be against the law to take a picture of a celebrity's child." [MSNBC Scoop]
• More from Julia in Allure, talking about her kids: "I will never be bored again… [I have] little time theives running around [the] house." And her life: "I'm the luckiest girl in town, I really am." Yawn! [People]
• Halle Berry will star in a flick called Who Is Doris Payne, about an international jewel thief whose career spanned five decades. Rejoice: Neither a hooker, a victim nor a doormat! [Variety]
• Drew Barrymore has a crush on Christian Bale. Back of the line, dear. [Mirror]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto wants a meaty, "ugly" role: "I don't want to be known as just a pretty face. I loved Charlize Theron in Monster. I want to play parts that are challenging and inspiring." Good luck! [Mirror]
• Peaches Geldof made the paper for wearing fishnet thigh-highs with garters. Slow news day? [The Sun]
• Wowza, check out Emily Blunt in this tribute to Blue Velvet. Lynchy! [BlackBook]
• Anne Hathaway, Anne Archer, Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Camryn Manheim, Jessica Alba, Maria Bello, Rosario Dawson and others were on hand for V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women, hosted by feminist playwright Eve Ensler and Glamour. [WWD]
• Grace Jones arrived so late for the African Fashion Collection bash the other night, the party was already over. [Page Six]
• Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda, swears the show is not cancelled: "We don't know what's going to be happening with the time slot, but we're well into season three, and we just got picked up for season four. There was panic for no reason." [Gatecrasher]
• Jackie Chan is starring in a new flick so violent that it's not being released in mainland China. Of course, that makes us want to see it. Okay, just saw a trailer and it looks epic. [AP]
• There's ultra-violence in Quentin Tarantino's new film, Inglourious Basterds; Nazis get scalped, hit by bats and machine-gunned down. [Page Six]
• PR queen Kelly Cutrone (seen on The Hills and The City) is friends with Eliot Spitzer's ex-hooker, Ashley Dupre. Cutrone says: "I met Ashley through friends in the music industry, I liked her and decided I would be nice to her. I will continue to be nice to her." [Page Six]
• Steven Van Zandt of The Sopranos and the E street band has a radio show, Little Steven's Underground Garage. [Guardian]
• Amy Fisher is a stripper now. "I am going to take this road until my fans tell me, 'Dear, please put your clothes back on. You're too old.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which crazy comic tells everyone about his, ummm, taste for booty whenever he's trashed? Talk about TMI!" [Gatecrasher]
• "A lot of people are scared of him, not just because of his position, but because of his temper. I don't think he ever had the time for 'la dolce vita.' I showed him how." —Carla Bruni on husband Nicolas Sarkozy. [Daily Mail]
• "Do I look like I care? I really don't think about [Joop or what he said]. What am I supposed to say? It's his opinion. What do you think?" — Heidi Klum, on being called "too heavy" to be a runway model. [Gatecrasher]
• "The character is learning lessons about consumption and debt like the rest of us right now. It feels fairly topical. Obviously the movie was conceived during a different economic period but she learns her lesson. It is a redemption story." — Isla Fisher, defending the timing of her Shopaholic picture. [Mirror]
• "She was the greatest show on earth last year. She was going through her issues in public... It was great to watch her spin out of control because it makes the average person feel better." — 50 Cent on Britney Spears, who helped inspire his album Before I Self Destruct. [MSNBC, Mirror]
• "I'm a sentimental person who's trying very hard to be a tough cynical person. This show has been more than a job for me; I met my wife on a remote, and we have two kids. I got my dog through this show. This has been a huge central part of my life. I'm quite good at denial, so I've been keeping it at bay. There's not time to dwell. (But) when we're doing the last show, it'll hit me. I'll probably cry like a baby." — Conan O'Brien on leaving Late Night for Tonight. [USA Today]
• "That was the least of our problems. I was always really proud of her success. I'm not a competitive person, and I have no aspirations to be a giant in this industry. I like making movies, but I never had designs on making $25 million a picture." — Ryan Phillippe, denying that he was ever jealous of wife Reese Witherspoon's success. [Contact Music]
• "I can't say that I'm still pole dancing. It's hard! I understand the hazards of the exotic dancer in a way I never imagined." — Marisa Tomei, on the skills she learned for The Wrestler. [Mirror]
• "I had to run and scream while wearing it! But it helps your posture, and certainly makes your boobs look fantastic. My internal organs now loathe me, however, so it might be good to do something in jeans and T-shirts. After all, I don't want to be typecast as the 'English rose' -that's boring, isn't it?" — Emily Blunt on wearing a corset in Wolf Man. [BlackBook]
• "Chris Brown's lies and excuses make me want to beat the crap out of him... He uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid, mother or girlfriend around uses. You dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT'S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! As for all the mealy mouthed Hollywood and music scene chicks that can't bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: Your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches." — Roseanne Barr. [ONTD]
• "I've been at war, without a doubt. I've really experienced the judgment of women in the past year. We say we want to be equal, but men don't sit around bitching at each other. There's no sisterhood." — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

[London, January 27. Image via Getty]

[Sydney, January 12. Image via INFDaily.]

[Sydney, Australia. January 11. Image via Getty.]

But as the decades wore on, the magazine became less and less about America and more and more a celebrity-oriented publication; hence this star-filled edition of "The Way We Were: The '80s" (Previously:the '70s, the 60s, the '50s, '40s and the '30s.) In addition, we found very few Life covers from the '80s, though we did find covers of sister publication Time, so we threw those in. You do what you can!

And now: The 1980s.

Women riding exercise bikes at Krylatskoya Physical Fitness Clinic. Moscow, 1989.

Spin class 1.0! Why are there no shoes here? No Reeboks behind the iron curtain?

Actresses Beatrice Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McLanahan and Betty White of television series "The Golden Girls." 1986.

LOL at Bea Arthur's face. She is NOT amused.

Fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg w. fashion designer Calvin Klein & his wife, Kelly at the Don't Bungle the Jungle rain forest benefit concert at Brooklyn Academy of Music. May 1989.

These were the days. Diane von Furstenberg wasn't wearing a wrap dress and Calvin Klein was married to a woman.

Astronaut Sally Ride, first American woman in space, zipped up in "sleep restraint" during flight aboard Space Shuttle Challenger II (STS-7). June 1983.

Creepy but cool.

Comedienne Joan Rivers, in a denim jacket, with her dog Spike at a press conference to announce that she is the new "No Excuses" jeans girl. New York, 1988.

Acid wash denim jacket FTW.

TIME cover 01/05/1987: Corazon Aquino, TIME's Woman of the Year.

Not to be confused with Imelda Marcos.

Drew Barrymore and Mr. T, 1984.

I want this framed. Not even joking. the only thing that would be better would be this.

Madonna, 1984.

*cough*oldnose*cough*

Cyndi Lauper, 1986.

What shall we call this hue of hair? Lemon? Goldenrod? Taxicab?

Patti Labelle, 1986.

Yes. Thank you.

TV talk show host/actress Oprah Winfrey w. her boyfriend, Stedman Graham, chatting w. black leader Rev. Jesse Jackson at Tyson/Spinks pre-fight party at the Trump Plaza hotel. Atlantic City, 1988.

Oprah is saying, "I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"

k.d. lang w. actress Liza Minnelli at a party to celebrate lang's concert. New York, 1989.

Awesome.

Model Jerry Hall w. models wearing bathing suits she designed, at unveiling of her swim wear line. New York, 1988.

Only in the '80s would you unveil your swimsuits on models wearing ballet flats and long scarves.

TIME cover 02/09/1981 featuring model/actress Brooke Shields.

At the time, these eyebrows made a statement.

Model Cheryl Tiegs playing tennis at unident. location. 1982.

Those pink shorts are adorbs.

Model Beverly Johnson, wearing black dress and red hat . and singer Grace Jones, wearing green fur jacket and hat w. sunglasses. 1988.

Aren't you just dying to go wherever they're are going?

Lucia Ahn sitting at the piano with her sister Angela Ahn who is holding a violin at the student concert hall. Aspen, 1987

Asian people! This is from a story called "Whiz Kids."

Actresses Jackee Harry and Marla Gibbs w. track and field athlete Florence Griffith Joyner.

Wow. Just… wow!

Actress Jean Kasem, wearing unusual purple floral outfit. 1988

'80s red carpet: Not boring.

Girls sitting around table in class in School No. 32. Moscow, 1989.

So curious as to what these ladies are doing now.

TIME Cover: 12/09/1985 on Teenage Pregnancy. Photo Credit: Duane Michals.

Every decade: The same cover!

Actors Woody Allen and Mia Farrow w. her adopted daughter Soon-Yi leaving Farrow's apartment to see Liza Minnelli at Carnegie Hall. 1987.

Sigh. We all know how this ended up.

Comedienne Phyllis Diller on the beach. 1981.

What? Where? Why?

Actresses Danielle Brisebois and Jamie Lee Curtis, both wearing bathing suits. 1983.

Who is that little girl behind Jamie Lee Curtis? And is she thinking, "Why is she wearing pantyhose?"

Actress Morgan Fairchild wearing pink dress, reflected by mirror.

Big hair? Check! Off-the-shoulder neckline? Check! Intense pink hue? Check! Giant ruffle? Check! Floofy skirt? Check! Practical pumps? Check!

Life Magazine Photo Archive [Google]
Earlier: The Way We Were: Life Magazine Photos Of Women In The 1970s
The Way We Were: Life Magazine Photos Of Women In The 1960s
The Way We Were: Life Magazine Photos Of Women In The 1950s
The Way We Were: Life Magazine Photos Of Women In The 1940s
The Way We Were: Life Magazine Photos Of Women In The 1930s

[Munich, November 13. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[London, November 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Paris Hilton plays a woman who wants plastic surgery in Repo: The Genetic Opera, but she claims she's never had surgery. "I love being all-natural," she claims. All natural? Ahem. Let's just look at those boobs, that nose, the blue contacts that cover those brown eyes and, oh, yeah, the nose. [Daily Beast]
• Paris Hilton totally assisted in the election excitement with her silly videos, you guys: "I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along." [E!]
• Britneyspears.com now hosts weekly awards called The PapaRAZZIEs that highlight the antics of obnoxious paps: "Terrorizing Britney has unfortunately become a daily part of the paparazzi's lives. So, we've decided to start calling these maniacs out each week by awarding a PapaRAZZIE to the worst of the worst! Each week we will be presenting an award to the most outrageous and ridiculous pap moment and you have to check out what we found this week. The guy who's shooting this video actually starts mooing at Mary Kate Olsen!" [ONTD]
• Could Britney be focusing on paparazzi because she's dating one? The rumors that she's back with Adnan Ghalib will not die. An "insider" tells the National Enquirer: "Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments." [MSNBC]
• Prepare yourself: Daniel Craig NAKED. [The Sun]

• Barack Obama had a conference call yesterday with "African-American leaders." On the phone: Oprah Winfrey, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Donna Brazile, House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, and Rev. Joseph Lowery. [Politico]
• "Oprah Working O-vertime For Obama." [Rush & Molloy]
• Diddy, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Beyoncé were in Philadelphia yesterday for a "promote the vote" block party. Mary J's haircut gets my vote! [Concrete Loop]
• People has a poll: "Do You Approve Of Jen & John's Relationship?" Sorry, but we need to vote on this OTHER issue that seems WAY more important at the moment. [People]
• After being hit in the head with a camera in a kerfluffle outside of a restaurant, Jessica Simpson's BFF Ken Paves says: "While I did not expect a dinner out with friends would end up with me in the emergency room and nine stitches in my head, I am fine." He got nine stitches. Being friends with a celebrity is dangerous! [People]
• Jennifer Hudson kissed her mother goodbye during a private service for her murdered family members in Chicago on Monday. [People]
• Jennifer's stepbrother says: "Right now she is just praying and staying strong. Just pray for her." [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another rumored wedding: Fergie and Josh Duhamel might tie the knot in June 2009. She's started working with wedding planners and wants a Karl Lagerfeld gown. Who doesn't? [Just Jared]
• Mary-Kate Olsen says he thinks it's weird that people were into her "boho" style. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all." That makes two of us! [Daily Express]
• Ashley Olsen responds to the rumor that she's getting married: "No truth at all. I told the National Enquirer that, but they don't print what we actually say." [E!]
• Will Russell Brand play Johnny Depp's brother in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick? [Telegraph]
• Heidi Klum spoofs Tom Cruise's Risky Business shirt-and-boxers dance for a Guitar Hero commercial. Except she's in a bra and undies. Click and see. [The Sun]
• Ew: Justin Long hooked up with Tila Tequila? [Page Six]
• Despite separation and tension, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids trick-or-treating. Kudos. [Page Six]
• A flick from 1971 in which Susan Sarandon is "sexy and nude" is being released on DVD, if you're into that. [Page Six]
• Carrie Underwood says she hasn't spoken to ex Tony Romo "since, like, May." So Jessica Simpson can calm the hell down. [People]
• Salma Hayek was spotted getting cozy with her baby daddy, French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. Will they get back together? [People]
• Leona Lewis went to South Africa and now she wants a South African baby. "I wanted to take home all the kids. They were so cute. All of them had been orphaned because of HIV and it was heart-rending," she says. "There are so many who need help – both here and abroad – you just don't know where to start. My mum was a social worker and my dad was a youth offender officer, so I know that there are a lot of kids out there that need to be fostered and adopted. I definitely want to adopt." [People]
• Baz Luhrmann's epic movie Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) hits theaters November 26, but it's not even done yet. [NY Mag]
• Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman: "You do look good in my shirt. And out of it! But that's a different story." [People]
• Emma Watson is dating a young Australian student and this paper knows lots of details about him. He's a rower who loves rugby and has a background in theater. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof has been living in New York for "five minutes" and has "already picked up an American accent." [The Sun]
• Will Smith is determined to star in a Bollywood film. Maybe we should loan other stars out to other countries. Where shall we send Jessica Simpson? [Daily Express]
• Witness Seal speaking about his new album. [Mirror]
• The rumor that Joe the Plumber maybe hooked up with SNL's Kristen Wiig: False. [Politico]
• Antonio Sabato Jr is "ready to love again," so, naturally, he's looking for a lady via a reality show. Romantic! [Perez Hilton]
• Olympic gold medal-winning skier Picabo Street got married! On top of a mountain, of course. [People]
• Negotiations for Cloris Leachman to join the cast of Young Frankenstein on Broadway are still underway. All together now: Blucher! [Yahoo News]
• Ooh, Jane Fonda on Broadway: She'll star in 33 Variations, a play by Moises Kaufman about a present-day musicologist (played by Fonda) and her study of Beethoven's fascination with a particular piece of music. [AP]
• What's up with the Ramones and the election? Johnny's widow Linda has been campaigning for McCain; Joey's brother says: “I just want it to be clear that Linda Cummings does not represent the political views of the Ramones." [Reuters]
• An amazing profile of Grace Jones includes information about her brother, Christian, who was "born swishy." According to the piece, "When Christian clashed with his parents, Grace took his side and began the rebellion that she turned into a career." [Telegraph]
• The firing of Brooke Smith from Grey's Anatomy means the end of a mature, woman-on-woman (as opposed to girl-on-girl) lesbian relationship, which, TV critic Mary McNamara says, "is bad for the world." [LA Times]
• Have you seen Liv Tyler in those Nintendo DS ads? She says: "I'd never played a game before they asked me to shoot this. It's actually quite addictive. There's something childlike about being able to just play." Also, that's her sister Chelsea in the commercial with her. [USA Today]
• There's a bench warrant out for the arrest of John Cusack's stalker. Keep an eye out for a 33-year-old woman obsessed with Better Off Dead. [E!]
• The surfers charged with roughing up a paparazzo who was crowding Matthew McConaughey on a Malibu beach pleaded not guilty Monday to misdemeanor battery charges. Pretrial hearing in January, dude. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Heather Mills built a swimming pool without permission, and in a desperate attempt to keep it, she's saying it actually serves a the public, because the fire brigade can use in case of a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Dr. Phil's son did a book signing at the Mall Of American and no one really cared or showed up. Okay, not true. There were about a dozen people and he said, "I know most of you." The signing started at 2 p.m. and he was done by 2:30. [Star Tribune]
• Know how we're always talking about no new ideas in Hollywood? The Farrelly brothers are directing a comedy called Three Stooges. Out in late 2009. [Variety]
• Charges have yet to be filed against Heather Locklear in that DUI case; it's still being investigated. [Yahoo News via E!]
• ¡Mierda! Kylie Minogue had five suitcases stolen hours before her Latin America tour started. Laptops, cameras, passports and show outfits were taken when she landed in the Colombian capital of Bogota. Eh, the show must go on. [The Sun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler's civil trial kicked off yesterday: He's accused of assaulting a tow-truck driver. His lawyers filed a motion seeking to keep other attorneys from blabbing to the press about the case; rumor has it Wahler shouted racist slurs at the driver, who is black. [Yahoo News via E!]
• The husband of slain actress Adrienne Shelly is suing the manager of the New York City building where she died and the renovation company that hired the man who killed her. [USA Today]
• NFL players taking Nikki Haskell's Star Caps diet pills? Huh? [Page Six]
• Hmm, Lionel Ritchie has Akon and Ne-Yo on his new album. Trying to connect with the kids? [Yahoo News]
• George Carlin's daughter has a book deal to do an oral history of her father's life, due in fall 2009. [USA Today]
• Charlize Theron may star with Tom Cruise in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French Thriller in which she'd play an Interpol agent who uses an American tourist "in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair." [Variety]
• A former UCLA Medical Center employee has pleaded not guilty to charges that she sold information from Farrah Fawcett's file to a tabloid magazine. [USA Today]
• Kate Beckinsale looks foxy on the cover of Elle UK. [Elle UK]
• "Growing up in Jamaica the Pentecostal church wasn't that fiery thing you might think. It was very British, very proper. Hymns. No dancing. Very quiet. Very fundamental. You might see some rastas going by on their bicycles but you were taught to run and hide under your bed if that happened. They were demons, devils. You had to wear a hat to go to church. We weren't allowed to straighten our hair. We couldn't wear jewellery, nail polish, open backed shoes, skirts above the knee... trousers were forbidden because male apparel on a female was not Godly." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]
• "If [Obama] doesn't get into office, I'm gonna change my citizenship. I'm moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I'm afraid to live there if [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he's making selfish decisions, he's doing whatever it takes to get into office. I don't think [McCain] is going to last eight years so [Palin]'s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that's scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?" — Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• "He said, 'Ahh you're the girl from Wedding Crashers.' He freaked out and backed away from me. I'm like, 'I'm not actually a bi-polar nymphomaniac.'" — Isla Fisher. [News.com.au]
• "Leo — that’s one of my best friends and I’m one of his. That’s just my boy. Tobey’s my boy. We all love sports. We’re all into politics. We all have a stake in the artistic community. We all have a lot of similar interests." — Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "I've been saying to him for seven years, 'When are you going to put out the record? He’s such an artist. He wants it to be perfect." — Leonardo DiCaprio, on Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "Leo and I were always aware that if we were going to do something together again that there would be a sense of expectation. It was going to have to be the right thing. There's an emotional shorthand that Leo and I have and a physical ease because we've known each other so long… Leo and I, you know, are sort of kindred spirits — we're cut from the same cloth." — Kate Winslet, on her Revolutionary Road costar, Leo DiCaprio. [MSNBC]
• "There are too many girls in here… too many model asses all over the place." — Shannen Doherty, at a New York party. [ONTD]
• "I don’t really get involved in political affairs because of the way I was brought up and being a Jehovah’s Witness, but it’s exciting to see someone like Barack Obama have a chance to lead one of the world’s biggest nations. And it’s just interesting. Think 40 years ago or 30 years ago, all the things that were going on, the persecution we had to go through. And it’s good. It makes my heart smile." — Serena Williams. [NY Times]
• "Ideally I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt. If something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it. All I know is that I haven’t finished yet when it comes to having kids." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "When I perform on stage I become those male bullies, those dominators from my childhood. That's probably why it's so scary, because they scared me. I enjoy being feminine, but I like role swapping." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]

• Ladies! Get your issue of Entertainment Weekly and hold on to it tightly. Daniel Craig looks mighty fine. [Just Jared]
• Daniel Craig showed up at the London premiere of Quantum of Solace with a black sling. He is still injured! (We've seen him in a sling before.) [Guardian]
• When Courtenay Semel — whose dad used to run Yahoo, who was once Lindsay Lohan's roommate and Tila Tequila's girlfriend — was arrested in Vegas in August, she allegedly said to the security guard who was trying to prevent her from entering a club: "Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck." Then she hit him in the face. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen's PR Machine calls her "the Wordsworth of the MySpace generation." Apparently, her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, contains the following couplet: "Now I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed/I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I've spent ages giving head." HAHAHA. [Guardian]

• A gun thought to be the murder weapon in the Jennifer Hudson family tragedy has been found. [TMZ]
• William Balfour, the main suspect in the Hudson murders, has refused a polygraph test. [Yahoo News]
• There was a drug raid at the Hudson house in 2002: Jennifer's brother, Jason, allegedly sold crack to a registered informant. [TMZ]
• Nancy Grace spoke with the mother of William Balfour, the man who is being held in the triple murder of Jennifer Hudson's family. His mom says Jennifer Hudson's brother was selling drugs out of the house and her son was with a girlfriend at the time of the crime. [TMZ via CNN]
• Melissa Etheridge blogged about being gay and truing to adopt kids over at the Daily Beast. "I know my preference of lifemate freaks some people out," she writes. "Maybe it is just their fear of sex or intimacy. I know that they hold up the Bible and say that it's wrong… I will never forget the day earlier this year when the news came down the wire that the Supreme Court of California had declared same sex marriage legal," Etheridge recalls. "We told our children about it and all danced around the room in family glee." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• You guys, this country is going to get less beautiful if Obama doesn't get elected: Seal says he and Heidi Klum will leave the U.S. if McCain wins! Seal told this month's Vanity Fair: "If McCain is elected and America staggers on further towards the abyss, then we will leave the country. That is not a problem for us.” It's a problem for us, dude. [LA Times]
• Did you get invited to Heidi Klum's big Halloween bash? Neither did we. Seal, Debra Messing and Christian Siriano will be there. [Page Six]
• Yesterday, Matilda Ledger turned three. It was her first birthday without her dad. She celebrated at home with mom MIchelle Williams and a small group of family and friends. [News.com.au]
• Angelina Jolie was in Afghanistan last week, meeting with refugees who have returned to their post-Taliban homeland. She says: "After seeing real suffering, you never complain anymore." [People]
• Nicole Kidman keeps crying when she thinks of her baby daughter, Sunday Rose. But! "They are tears of joy." Hey, lady: You do have other kids, you know. [The Sun]
• David and Victoria Beckham: Superheroes? Stan Lee thinks so! "They're great looking, talented and colorful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it—superheroes," he says. Would they have capes? Skin-tight outfits? Would Posh be able to render you immobile with a mere glare? [Yahoo News via E!]
• This is hard to imagine, but Victoria Beckham has been training for the New York Marathon in secret. She may not run this weekend if she doesn't feel ready, but she's planning to do the one in L.A. in February. As if wearing all those heels did not punish her feet enough? [Perez Hilton]
• Denis Leary is sorry about his autism remarks, you guys. He says: "I apologize for any pain the out-of-context quotes from my book may have caused." [Daily Express]
• After Julianne Hough admitted that she had endometriosis, Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing With The Stars has announced that she, too has endometriosis. And that she never would have gotten it checked out if it wasn't for Julianne. [ET]
• The Keanu Reeves trial continues! His lawyer caused the paparazzo who filed suit to "buckle under questioning." Sorta wish it was televised. [AP]
• Madonna made an "emotional late-night call" to Guy Ritchie and "pleaded" with him to settle their divorce amicably. And by that she means having a mediation with Kabbalah rabbis instead of going to court. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "rocky" interview in which Guy Ritchie discusses RocknRolla and, um, a Kabbalah documentary he's working on. Bet that's off! [News.com.au]
• Rosario Dawson wants to clear up the rumors that she is engaged. She's not. "Oh my God, I'd be getting calls from my grandmother being like, 'Mija! How come I had to read this first?'" Grandma's reading trashy gossip! [People]
• Jennifer Lopez is an evil genius: She keeps making crappy pilots, which TV networks don't pick up, but she still gets money for them, because they've signed a contract with her. It's twisted. [Jossip]
• Peaches Geldof made a wasted spectacle of herself at her husband's band's gig and there's "trouble in paradise." No one saw this coming. No one. [Mirror]
• Celine Dion has rescheduled a concert in Minneapolis/St. Paul due to "respiratory illness." Wasn't she just on Oprah? And what do you say to taking chances??? [Star-Tribune]
• Is Celine going to try and get knocked up again? [Daily Express]
• Natalie Cole says: "I feel sturdy and strong," despite undergoing dialysis three times a day week. AMAZING. [People]
• Derek Jeter will not admit that he is dating Minka Kelly, and when asked about A-Rod, replied: "Don't start with me about Kabbalah. I went to Catholic school." Dude, so did Madonna. [People]
• Bruce Springsteen is a party pooper! He's not having his elaborate Halloween decorations this year because his cool set-up attracts too many visitors. Boo. No, really. Boo. [AP]
• Bill Pullman's 19-year-old son was arrested in North Carolina for alleged underage drinking and possession of moonshine. No word on whether he was driving a car with doors welded shut called the General Lee. [UPI]
• Courteney Cox will be in a new ABC half-hour comedy called — uh — Cougar Town. Cox stars as a newly single 40-year-old mom. Lemme guess: She goes on dates, sometimes with younger dudes. [Variety]
• This young lady — Andrew Sachs' granddaughter — claims that Russell Brand was a "disappointment" in bed. [The Sun]
• After resigning from his radio show for saying he'd "fucked" Andrew Sachs' granddaughter, Russell Brand says "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." What kind of films, hmm? [The Sun]
• Now that the FBI has raided the home of hacker Josh Holly, who hacked Miley Cyrus' e-mail account, Miley is reportedly a "nervous wreck," worrying that more personal pictures and info will be made public, despite the government's involvement. [ONTD]
• Zac Efron talked about his hair with Ellen DeGeneres: "I actually modeled it [after] Ellen season 2," he said. "Smart," Ellen replied. "So you're copying me?" Zac confirmed, "I am in fact." [People]
• Nicolas Cage is selling his "haunted" New Orleans mansion, if you have $3.8 million. You could live near Brad and Angie! [Daily Express]
• Whoa. An apology from The Sun: "On 19 June 2007, we reported that David Hasselhoff had celebrated winning custody of his two daughters by getting drunk and making a nuisance of himself in a Hollywood bar. We now accept that David did not drink any alcohol that evening and nor did he irritate other customers. We apologise to David for any embarrassment caused." [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson tamed down part of her concert for Michigan, where state law prohibits simulated sex acts in a public space. Usually, she pulls a male fan from the crowd, ties him down and "molests" him while her dancers mime various sexual acts, including masturbation. *cough* [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Jacksons, here are Michael and his kids. They are wearing masks, maybe because it's Halloween, maybe because it's Wednesday night. Who knows. [The Life Files]
• Hey! The Jackson 5 are reuniting! For a tour, which would include Michael and Janet! Let's pretend they're gonna look like this, okay? [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton has parted ways with Jason Moore, who has been her manager for more than 10 years. He was the one who walked away. [Daily Express]
• Josiah Leming, a homeless singer whose mother is dying of cancer, might be blocked from releasing the album he recorded because he was a contestant last season on American Idol. Shit, when you sign a reality show contract, you generally screw yourself, huh? [Page Six]
• Peter Andre is NOT leaving Katie "Jordan" Price, so you can all just relax and get a good night's sleep, okay? [The Sun]
• Ice T's wife Coco says of Halloween: "It's my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!" Ahem. Pardon? Ice T explains: You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they're standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco's one of them girls." [NY Mag]
• Melissa Auf der Maur has an "elaborate new project" coming out: OOOM (Out of Our Minds), a "3-D concept album" that includes a CD, a half-hour film, a comic book and website. Oh! And she has a persona in the project: MAdM. Expect a "conceptual fantasy world, spawned from sound." [ONTD]
• E! has ordered a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Oh, it's simple: Vom. [AP]
• Corey Haim: Getting married. Think Feldman will attend? [ONTD]
• Beatles songs on the Rock Band video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [WSJ]
• The Phil Spector retrial has begun; yesterday the prosector told jurors Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson in a "petulant fit of rage." [Yahoo News]
• Kato Kaelin might be back, on a reality show called 16th Minute. Bascially, it would feature "stars" whose 15 minutes of fame are up — and give them one extra minute. Do you weep for humanity? [mediabistro]
• "I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really shitty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn't just go up to Puffy and say, 'Sorry, I ate a shit-load of hash brownies, I can't do your White Party.'" — Mark Ronson, on the refreshments at Diddy's soirée. [Page Six]
• "If I get married again, then it will be the last time." — Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "My mom's like 'Honey, don't get married.' It comes from a good place, but I'm such a romantic, I'd like to get married one day. It's fulfilling to live with a person you love." — Alexa Ray Joel, whose Mother, Christie Brinkley, went through a nasty divorce with Peter Cook. [Daily Express]
• "I spent most of the year I was 27 toxic, just completely over-medicated. I was stoked to make it past 27. Everyone was really worried. My management company were panicked, because I was out of the office, and 'pharmaceutically engaged.'" — Pete Wentz. [Daily Express]
• "I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women.' And I said, 'I guess they would have to be.' I don’t get him at all." — Pink on John Mayer. [The Sun]
• "I can't stand Sarah Palin. I bet a woman like that has no sense of humor." — Grace Jones. [Yahoo News]

• Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler at L.A.'s Tower Bar — days after eating there with John Mayer. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse was in the hospital last night, being checked out for a chest infection. Is it related to the emphysema she was diagnosed with in June? [Mirror]
• Amy missed an appointment to talk to cops about punching a fan; it will be rescheduled. [TMZ]
• Although this report says Amy could get arrested, and that she's doing so many drugs she's totally out of it. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister, Julia Balfour, is begging for her son to be returned safely. He disappeared after a shooting which killed her mother and brother. At a news conference on Saturday night, she said: "All I ask, I don't care who you are, just let my baby go, please. I just want my son." [CNN]

• Jennifer Hudson showed up to officially identify the bodies of her mother and brother yesterday. [TMZ]
• Cops say there was "trouble in the marriage" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his wife, Julia. William is in police custody. [TMZ]
• Barack Obama, who also calls Chicago his hometown, says he and Michelle are "heartbroken" to hear of Jennifer Hudson's tragedy and offer "thoughts and prayers." [People]
• America's Most Wanted plans to help in the search for Jennifer Hudson's nephew. [ET]
• Jennifer Hudson has offered a $100,000 reward for her nephew's safe return. [AP]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard allegedly punched composed Tex Allen during a rehearsal for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof in January. Allen is suing for $5 million. [UPI]
• A source says Lindsay Lohan is not planning on coming out of the closet, because she's not a lesbian: She still loves men. "She has been telling everyone over and over that she’s still into guys," a "friend" says. "She keeps saying if anything went wrong with Sam she would date a guy next. She even flirts with guys when they go out." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson had a Halloween party! Courteney Cox came as a witch. David Arquette was a wizard. Cindy Crawford was Amy Winehouse. Isla Fisher was a princess; Sacha Baron Cohen was a cow. Click for pictures! [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus is living with her boyfriend Justin Gaston, don't you know? A source says: "Billy Ray wasn't born yesterday. He figures the safest path to take is to keep Miley and Justin on a short leash — and under the same roof." Just imagine all the sneaking around going on. [UPI]
• Mama mia: Victoria Beckham's been offered millions to host a documentary about husband David moving to AC Milan. Remember the one she did about moving to L.A.? It would be similar, but "more polished." [Mirror]
• David Beckham was speeding around Hollywood in his Porsche and got stopped by the cops. He flashed a smile and got a talking to instead of a ticket. [The Sun]
• David Beckham says even though he's being loaned to AC Milan, he will stay with his L.A. team. "At the end of the day, my commitment is still to the Galaxy and that's not changed," he explains. "But I've been given a chance to join up with one of the biggest clubs in the world, so I'm going to do that." [AP]
• Madonna: In "full meltdown mode"? [MSNBC]
• Madonna plans to gather all of the items she received from Guy Ritchie: photos, gifts and letters — and scan them before burying them. Yeah, she's gong to bury them. In the ground. "It will be a little bit like a funeral as she lays that part of her life to rest," a source spills. [NY Post]
• The latest is that Madonna and Guy are fighting over the household staff, with each demanding that the employees testify against the other. [Daily Mail]
• Guy will visit the kids next month but there's "no way" Madonna will be there when they see each other. [Mirror]
• Did Guy try to turn Madonna into an English housewife? [Mirror]
• Did Guy And Madonna's marriage end when she started scheduling sex around her gym workouts? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna and the kids were seen leaving the Kabbalah center in New York over the weekend. Lourdes was wearing a Barack Obama T-shirt. [The Sun]
• Yay, Amy Poehler had a baby boy named Archie Arnett! Boo, Amy won't be on SNL ever again. [AP]
• Slash: Working on a "star-studded" solo album! [Reuters]
• Jerry Lewis was on Australian TV when a reporter asked him about cricket. "Oh, cricket? It's a fag game. What are you, nuts?" Lewis replied. It's been a year since he used the same gay slur on his telethon. What's his problem? [AP]
• Check out this picture of Beyoncé as Sasha Fierce: Flexible! [Concrete Loop]
• Zack And Miri Make A Porno: Not playing in Salt Lake City, Utah. Too "raunchy." But! You can totally see Saw V there. [Page Six]
• Thieves hit the set of Prison Break! Cash, credit cards, documents and a computer were stolen from trailers. The robbers cleaned out $25,000 from Jodi Lyn O’Keefe's checking account and charged $14,000 on her credit cards, right on the heels of her finding out she's being written out of the show. The thieves hit Dom Purcell's credit cards as well. [The Sun]
• Celebs who live in Greenwich Village, New York, are being targeted by "trash-trollers." Someone's going through the garbage and discovering secrets in the trashcans of people like Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, Liv Tyler, Charlie Rose and Graydon Carter. It's mostly prescription receipts. [Page Six]
• Elle Macpherson's new man is a convicted drug trafficker. He's reformed, though. [Daily Mail]
• OMG: Sienna MIller and Jude Law almost ran into each other in London. [Mirror]
• A new book alleges that Heath Ledger was bipolar. [Mirror]
• Look for Michelle Obama to be hanging out with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show this evening! [USA Today]
• John Malkovich, who has lived in France for 10 years, is in the midst of a tax dispute. He's refusing to hand over the cash and there will be a trial. [Daily Express]
• Even though she was seen cuddling up with a hot hot model, Kylie Minogue says she does not have a man. She's free and single! [The Sun]
• Prince Harry wants to start the full Army Air Corps program and be a helicopter pilot. The failure rate is high, but Harry has passed an initial aptitude test. Fly, Harry, fly. [BBC News]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are holding crisis talks about the future of their marriage. Stay tuned. [Mirror]
• Mariah Carey will appear on UK show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Alvin and the Chipmunks: releasing an album of covers for theur 50th anniversary. Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll," Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Migraine meds not included. [Reuters]
• Phil Spector talks shit about the Beatles. [Mirror]
• A blonde teenager who was "wooed and bedded" by James Blunt — and then caught the singer in bed with another woman — says: "I just want people to know exactly what type of person he is. Everything he says in his songs is bullshit." [News.com.au]
• Peter Cook is not giving teen mistress Diana Bianchi any cash, because her lawyers badmouthed him? [TMZ]
• Dave Grohl and wife: Expecting baby #2. [People]
• Former Grateful Dead keyboardist, Mel Saunders, has died. Harold "Hal" Kant, the lawyer who represented the Grateful Dead for more than 30 years, has also died. [AP, UPI]
• No man has won more Emmys for performance than actor and social activist Ed Asner, but there has never been a biography of his life — and there probably never will be. [Yahoo News]
• The title track from Axl Rose's Chinese Democracy was actually released to radio last week. The album will be released on November 24. It's been 17 years since a Guns N'Roses album came out. [Guardian]
• These celebrity trading cards, PopCardz, sound lame. [AP]
• "I just like sitting and watching people. I love seeing people having fun. Everyone over in L.A. is too cool for it. That’s the problem." — from "A Night Out With Lukas Haas." [NY Times]
• "I had the fat removed from under my chin. That's why I wear the goatee because it covers the scar. If I went for laser treatment, I could get rid of it, but I thought, fuck it, I'll wear a goatee. My nose, that was straightened. Then, with the eyes, they took the heaviness out of the lids." — Tom Jones, detailing his plastic surgery. [Mirror]
• "I hadn't heard that Joe the Plumber dropped my name. I'm honored to be in the little passion play, to be an extra." — Matt Damon. [USA Today]
• "A legend is someone who has died… I used to drag people up on stage, whip them and pretend to fuck them in the rear. You can’t get more intimidating than that. But I’m honest about it, so the men who go out with me know I’m going to be more macho than them. My husband used to shout at my mother, 'What is wrong with your daughter? I'm married to a man.' I'm not like a normal woman, that’s for sure." — Grace Jones. [Times of London]
• "Oh, there's no squabble [between me and Tina Turner]. The people at USA Today just grossly exaggerated that I was fuming. That's ludicrous. I've always appreciated Ms. Turner and she just kind of overstepped herself and chose to speak on my ego when I really thought she was being more descriptive of herself. Mmm-hmm. Particularly in view of the fact that she doesn't even know me." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]
• "I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha [Ronson]. I’m a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone. In the past, I felt that the best way to get to [Lindsay] was to speak out publicly, and it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private. I’ve learned that now." — Michael Lohan. [NY Magazine]
• "I put on a significant amount for Body Of Lies and I really enjoyed that. When I got that phone call it was just one of those wonderful moments where you turn to your wife and say, 'Baby I'm really sorry but I gotta eat.' I loved it." — Russell Crowe. [Daily Express]
• "It's not all about singing. Being the Queen is not all about singing and being a diva is not all about singing. It has much to do with your service to people. And your social contributions to your community and your civic contributions as well. I contribute to the food banks in Detroit, and the churches. And that kind of thing." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]

• Kaiser Karl himself is set to help create and conceive of 80 homes on Dubai's new Isla Moda (yes, "Fashion Island"). Says the designer: "The metamorphosis of art and beauty is my passion. The discovery of contemporary mediums of expression has allowed me to pursue my interest in art, beauty, architecture and progressive cultural exchange. Dubai is a fashion bud on the verge of blossoming into the next fashion hub of the world. The city is alive with culture and rich in personality, making it a perfect place for aesthetic, fashion and design to flourish. Isla Moda has tremendous potential to be the style icon of the future and I intend on driving the island to high style stardom." [Refinery29]
• Perennially self-satisfied designer, phrase-maker and Cuomo in-law is disturbed by America's #1 slot in a recent international drug-use ranking, proclaiming it "A Number One We Don't Want To Be." [Awearness Blog]
• This blogger from New Mexico was just robbed. By chance, he happens to have been stalking Tom Ford. [Fashionista]

• John Galliano is launching his first scent. As one would expect, it comes in nifty packaging and will be available in three sizes, a body lotion, shower cream and body scrub. The perfume itself combines rose, lavender, bergamot, violet and amber notes and as is meant to evoke the impression that the wearer "just left the room but we've captured her essence." Sounds kinda like Perfume, but sure! [VogueUK]
• Hey, remember when Wonderbra launched that open search for a buxom new model in England? Apparently they found a dame with the "perfect look" (rack?) — only to have her disappear, Cinderella-like, into the night! It seems the young woman's contact information was incorrectly recorded, and she has no idea executives are scouring the land, trying to make her a bra-sportin' superstar. "'We are desperate to find this girl - whoever she is,' Wonderbra spokesperson Julia Nolan told the Express newspaper. 'When we saw her images after the photoshoot she was by far and away the best candidate but when we came to match her details we realised to our horror that we didn't have them. All we know is that her name is Kate or Katie, she is 5 ft 9 inches tall and has never done any modelling before'" [Mail on Sunday]
• Surprise, surprise: Wal-Mart leads retailers in sales. [WWD]
• The rocky economic climate might mean a weak back-to-school market, something that's generally been a reliable bump for retailers. In addition to parental belt-tightening, stores might suffer ftom the shortage of summer jobs available to teens. [WWD]
• At first glance, it seems like the news that there's a new, boomer-driven demand for "older models" with "laugh lines" is really heartening. Until you see what fashion means by "older." '"The market for older models has exploded," says Ginni Conquest, co-director of the sophisticated women's division at Wilhelmina Models in New York. (Models who are 25 and older are often referred to as "classic" or "sophisticated.") "It's our fastest-growing area, and it's a first for the industry."' By this definition, I am indeed the height of sophistication! [Star Tribune]
• The New York Times thinks ritzy shades are popular because the buying public is suffering from "bag fatique." My take? More like "bag prices." [New York Times]
• A former CEO of Marrionnaud has been found guilty of cooking the perfume company's books. [WWD]
• London grooming versus NYC grooming: Apparently "in New York regular treatments are seen as a necessity for women of all ages, whereas many women in their forties in London view the same treatments as a luxurious treat reserved for special occasions." Color me a London forty-something! [VogueUK]
• The new skincare developed specifically for cancer patients: snake oil or cure? "Depending on whom you ask, such products give patients one more tool to ease side effects or false hope that a cancer-specific balm is more effective than a mild drugstore lotion." [New York Times]
• Oh, Women's Wear Daily: "If justice is blind, Christie Brinkley certainly hasn't gotten the memo." And yes, they go on to call her "every inch the uptown girl" in her sordid divorce trial.[WWD]
• Iconic model Grace Jones releases a new single that could easily have been written by my 'Socialist' high-school boyfriend: "Corporate Cannibal." [Sassybella]
• Disgruntled employees launch class-action suit against Ralph Lauren. [WWD]
• Uh oh! Agyness might be the face of reinvented CK CK One! I don't think I need to spell out the implications of this for the probably-trumped-up-and-actually-nonexistent Kate-Agy Feud! [Fashionista]