Minor Batman villain Justin Bieber allegedly savaged a neighbor's house with chicken ovulation, which was probably both a paradigm-shifting event for the neighbor's 13-year-old daughter AND a felony.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand down the street and we "read" the celebrity tabloids so you don't "have" to. This week: Demi Moore's new boyfriend is younger than her daughter's boyfriend; Nicole Richie is throwing up to stay skinny; and Beyoncé is just not…
The merchandizing tabula rasa known colloquially as Sir Ian McKellen may have outed at least one of his Hobbit co-stars way back in a 2012 interview with the German website Brash.de, a slip of confidence that will probably start a day-long brushfire of internet speculation about who the outed co-star(s) could possibly…
Residually famous person Jay Mohr was apparently a dick to Alyssa Milano about the weight she put on after she grew a fucking human inside of her body for nine whole months. Mohr and Milano were both at the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Awards, and, after Mohr was through giving Danica Patrick shit, he had enough douche…
How the hell did feminism become a dirty word? Keira Knightley doesn't know or care, really — she's just glad that people are starting to wise up and stop slinging the word "feminist" around like it's some sort of insult and not just a thing that a reasonable human being would call herself or (gasp!) himself.
Sure, Justin Bieber said he's retiring, but how much can we really trust Justin Bieber? He drives around in a customized Batmobile and abandons pet monkeys in German airports. I'll bet he told that monkey, "Hang out here, bro. I'll be right back. Here's a hundo for the duty-free." That monkey is probably still…
This is who Britney Spears is now: a Las Vegas performer who's ripped off some Cirque de Soleil productions so she can tread water in our collective pop culture consciousness with a show called "Piece of Me." Are you sad? Do you feel old? Or did you somehow always know things would go down like this for Britney,…
After bigoted duckpreneur and Sweetums stuntman Phil Robertson expressed his very strong preference for vaginal intercourse and his very pronounced disdain for gay people, the first question everyone asked was: Why is Duck Dynasty even a thing, anyway? The second question was: What does Charlie Sheen, himself a…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your foray into the dangerous wilderness of the celebrity tabloids. Every week, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand for the new issues of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Star and Us, and together we forage for "news." This week: Justin Theroux is pulling old bedpans out of the trash to…
Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy have decided not to change for Hollywood. According to a report, the two have formed a pact: Stay large and in charge.
Lindsay Lohan, your favorite movie star who no longer does movies (after Christian Slater, obviously), is now doing books. Apparently, several publishers are really interested in a book project Lindz started working on in rehab — a YA series about a young paleontologist who finds a portal in the Natural History…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your spelunking trip into the dark caves of the celebrity gossip tabloids. Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand and picks up the new issues of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Star and Us, and together we navigate the stalagmites masquerading as "news." This week: Angie…
It's hard to imagine anyone disliking Paul Walker, whose sudden death this holiday weekend seemed so unlikely that a Twitter hoax insisting that news of Walker's death was in fact a hoax briefly gave hope to would-be mourners on social media. Paul Walker — of the easy-smiling, effortlessly-charming Walkers — couldn't…
Nothing against Cary Elwes (who I'm sure is a fine and diligent writer), but if anyone is going to write a memoir about the wacky hijinks on the set of The Princess Bride, it seems like it should be Wallace Shawn.
There are tasteful ways to talk about the looming anniversary of the JFK assassination, and then there's the New York Post's way, which involves mentioning the little-known-fact that JFK and Jackie totally boned on Air Force One during a short flight from San Antonio to Houston on Nov. 21, just 24 hours before the…
Desperate to hang out with OMG NICK CANNON STAR OF DRUMLINE, a bag of jewelry from Fred Segal (a fancy store) agreed to hang out with a guy who introduced himself as A Friend of International Celebrity Nick Cannon, Star of Drumline, only to realize too late that this supposed Cannon confidant was really an impostor…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman assists as we attempt to shine a light into the filthy, dark crevices of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Us and Star. This week: Jennifer Aniston's haircut sends a secret message; Noah and Allie from The Notebook might be back on; and Bey and Jay have serious…
Yesterday, word spread that ageless human branding mechanism Tom Cruise had been quoted comparing his job (as a punch-kicking thespian who has the most demonstrative "running really fast face" in Hollywood) to that of a soldier. In Afghanistan. Cool story, bro, sneered the Internet, as everyone was collectively…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday we voyage into the cold tundra of OK!, Us Weekly, Life & Style, Star and InTouch, in search of that rare and fabled snow-beast that is celebrity gossip. This week, Kanye has crafted a diabolical wedding for Kim guarded by an army of Pekingese dogs, President Obama…
