[New York, December 1. Image via Splash.]

[New York, November 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, November 16. Image via Splash.]

The Times's Sarah Maslin talks to John Barrett, who has a salon inside of tony Bergdorf Goodman in Manhattan. He says:

"It's aspirational hair."

In other words, you can dream about it… that doesn't mean you're going to get it.

Nuri Yurt, of Toka Salon on Madison Avenue, whose clients include several former first ladies, says almost all of his customers with long hair ask for Blake Lively's cut, but:

The look, he said, only works for tall, slim women.

In other words, you fatties and shorties need not apply.

Michael Wilson of Bumble & Bumble also warns you not to get your hopes up: "Trouble is, some girls are born with amazing hair," he says, adding that Blake Lively's hair "sets an unrealistic expectation."

Barett can get your tresses like Blake Lively's if you have $1,200 a month to spend on extensions, treatments, haircuts and styling at his salon.

When Maslin talks to Blake Lively herself, and lets her know how popular her hair is, Blake says: "That's always kind of odd, but unbelievably flattering." And. Just to make you feel worse, she tells the reporter that her hair is mostly natural — the color gets touched up every six months, and the "unraveling curls" are created not with fancy techniques and curling irons, but by letting her hair dry in a simple chignon.

To hammer the final nail in the coffin, Lively adds: "I was born with a head full of hair."

A ‘Gossip Girl' Look, Pronto! [NY Times]

[New York, November 5. Image via Splash.]

[New York, November 4. Image via Pacific Coast News]

• Texas gal Renée Zellweger will spend the holidays in Philadelphia with Bradley Cooper's parents. Sounds like the plot of a romcom. But it's real! [NY Daily News]

• Award season has begun! Precious star Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe and Hilary Swank both won Hollywood Awards (given by the Hollywood Film Festival) last night. [AP]
• The father of one of the teenaged girls arrested in the Lindsay Lohan burglary case says that his daughter "was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people." [People]
• In this story about the teen burglars, attorney Blair Berk, who represents some of the victims, blames "paparazzi shots and magazine coverage" for "increasingly prying into the private homes, schools and personal possessions of stars. Another lawyer says: "It would be fun to do capers. It was all about fun. It was one of those cases of you get bored, and it was something to do with a little technology." The young women arrested were classmates at Indian Hills High School, which is "set atop a leafy incline in an upscale neighborhood" where there are BMWs and Audis parked in the student lot, and nearby roads have horse trails for equestrians. Seriously, people: This is a screenplay waiting to happen. [LA Times]
• Congrats to Jennifer Esposito and tennis player Mark Philippoussis, who are engaged. Did you know they were dating? [People]
• BREAKING: Madonna planted a tree. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Jackman's four-year-old daughter wants to be a chocolate chip muffin for Halloween. His nine-year-old son wants to be Al Capone. And Hugh? "I'm going as James Bond," he says. [NY Magazine]
• Sources say Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene may have confessed to the hoax to keep her children from being taken away from her, or to spare them from having to testify against her husband. [CBS News]
• The Balloon Boy case has been handed to the District Attorney's Office, and the DA has requested more information before making a charging decision. [TMZ]
• Heartbreaking: La Toya Jackson says that Paris Jackson is dealing well with her father's death ("Paris thinks and talks about her father all the time… She's doing very well, writes a lot and she wears his shirts every day. They still smell of him and it helps her feel close to him."), but Prince Jackson "just doesn't want to speak about it" and Blanket is "just a very sad little boy" who cries and cries. Luckily, La Toya says, "They all go to therapy." [MSNBC via Daily Mirror]
• The woman accused of stalking Justin Timberlake has already been served with a restraining order from Metallica and was sentenced to a year in prison for violating a court order to stay away from Axl Rose. [TMZ]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, has settled a sexual harassment suit with a former production staffer whom he allegedly grabbed and touched inappropriately. [TMZ]
• Bill Cosby was honored with the 12th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor last night, and stars like Phylicia Rashad, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Jerry Seinfeld, Sinbad, Chris Rock and Willie Nelson were in attendance. [USA Today]
• Suzanne Somers has a new book in which she reveals she was misdiagnosed with "full-body cancer." Her book promotes alternative medicine and avoiding chemotherapy; she says: "It's easier to try the traditional route and then, if it fails, go to the alternatives, but often it can be too late. My friend Farrah Fawcett— would she have made it if she had gone alternative first? There is no way of knowing." [NY Daily News]
• Egads. The Anna Nicole Smith trial is still going on. An expert psychiatrist has testified that Anna was an addict. [NY Post]
• Alec Baldwin knows how to spell. [Page Six]
• Black people on Gossip Girl? What is the world coming to? [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have "romantic" new tattoos. [People]
• Uh-oh: Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend is refusing to sign a pre-nup. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Some guy sniffed Pamela Anderson's underwear. [The Sun]
• This Mary J. Blige track from the Precious soundtrack is powerful, sad. [The Life Files]
• It's been 25 years since U2 released The Unforgettable Fire. It was recorded at an Irish castle; producer Danny Lanois says: "Bono was looking for a different kind of location, a building that had ghosts in the walls and some kind of a sense of history… So that we weren't just in an empty modern warehouse, that we were actually feeling the presence of goings-on from the past." [Reuters]
• Eric Clapton has pulled out of a Rock and Roll Hall concert to have gallstones removed. [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen has canceled a show in Kansas City after his cousin — who was a roadie — was found dead in a hotel room. [USA Today]
• After his stint on Dancing With The Stars, next Tom DeLay plans to be an "expert" on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "You owe it to yourselves and your loved ones to see this again and again. Memorize it and say to yourselves, 'I saw genius in my lifetime.'" — One of Liz Taylor's 20 Tweets about the Michael Jackson movie This Is It. [CNN]
• "I've been on the road for pretty much five years now and I'm tired. I've kind of written about everything that has happened in my life for the past 10 years so I think I need to live some more before I start writing more." — Lily Allen, on quitting the record biz. She also says she might do musicals in London's West End: "It hasn't been confirmed yet but I'm keeping my options open." [Telegraph]
• "Reading about somebody else's tough experiences of being a mother, you're suddenly like, ‘My God, I've got a kid and I don't have time to read this. I've got to go do it.' There's no time. If he's sleeping I'm trying to sleep and when you're breast-feeding you're the milk machine. There's no time to pick up the guitar, much less go for a walk or have a beer. The first year of Henry's life has been just an insane earthquake for me… I waited a long time to have children because I had this career that was kind of like my kid, it required as much nurturing. There's no amount of hassle that could be bigger than my love of Henry." — Minnie Driver doesn't have time to read parenting blogs. [Daily Express]

[New York, October 23. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, October 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Four thousand other Scientologists — including John Travolta and Kelly Preston — were part of a "rapturous, fist-pumping crowd." It was the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Fun? Oh, also: There were protesters outside, and Tom said: "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" Wait, what? [Us Magazine]

• Speaking of Travolta: The extortion case has gone to the jury. [TMZ]
• This could be amazing: Ridley Scott is in talks with Angelina Jolie to play a femme fatale role in Gucci — a drama about murder and decadence in the Gucci fashion dynasty. In 1995, right before he was about to reestablish the brand by debuting Tom Ford's line, Maurizio, the grandson of founder Guccio Gucci, was gunned down in Milan. [Variety]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but Gerard Butler has had a threesome in the past year. [The Sun]
• What's this? Renée Zellweger says she hasn't signed on for a third Bridget Jones flick?!?! "I get asked every single day, and I don't know anything," she says. "It's a rumor." [E!, Us]
• Halle Berry's daughter Nahla is learning to play golf. No, really: daddy Gabirel Aubry says: "She's learning to play golf. She has a little hole in the backyard." [People]
• Rumpus, a Great Dane who starred in three Lady Gaga music videos, was found dead after a hike in Los Angeles. [TMZ]
• Colin Farrell has a newborn son, his second child. [Independent]
• Heidi Montag didn't go to her sister Holly Montag's birthday party because no one was paying her an appearance fee. [Fox News]
• Poor Dave Chappelle was trying to set the Laugh Factory's endurance record for continuous stand up comedy, but five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom. Disqualified! [USA Today]
• Boo. Mark Ronson will never work with Lily Allen again. Boo. [The Sun]
• A series of emails reveal that the Swiss Federal Office of Justice faxed the U.S. Office of International Affairs letting the Americans know about Roman Polanski's planned appearance in Zurich and asking if the US would be submitting a request for Polanski's arrest. [CBS News]
• Three New York prison officials have quit their jobs following a scandal involving rapper Foxy Brown; they reportedly let her do a photo shoot to promote her new album, despite the fact that she was behind bars. Investigators will try to reveal if she received preferential treatment. You think? [Contact Music]
• Gossip Girl paychecks: Blowing in the wind. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin's got jokes! Speaking at the Elle Women In Hollywood event, he said: "I want to assure you that I didn't steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles." And! ""If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom's movies." And! Renée Zellweger "is so tiny, but she's got a big voice. I've been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can't understand a word she says." More at the link. [People]
• Mischa Barton is trying to trademark her name in Australia, but there's already a company called Mischa Accessories. What to do?!?! [News.com.au]
• Victoria Beckham will be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance — in the UK. Sorry 'Mericans. [Daily Mail]
• Viewers submitted almost 9,000 questions for Kate Gosselin to answer during her TLC one-hour special on Monday. Here's one more: When will you go away? [People]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Life & Style is proclaiming its latest issue (out today) a "Special Gosselin-Free Issue." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Guy Ritchie is a distant relative of King Edward 1, and when you look at a side by side comparison, there's a resemblance! The nose? And the jaw? [Daily Mail]
• Rob Burnett, executive producer of The Late Show with David Letterman, has replied to NOW, who called the workplace a "toxic environment." Burnett's letter reads: "As an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times." He also points out that 58% of the Late Show staff are women. [LA Times]
• A fan approached Freida Pinto in London; Freida accidentally bumped into her; the woman stumbled and fell in front of a car; Freida rushed to make sure the woman was okay; everyone was fine and it was a happy ending caught on camera. [This Is London]
• Take a deep breath and relax: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's prenup is a done deal. [TMZ]
• OMG! Dancing With The Stars flu outbreak! Run for the hills! [People]
• Salman Rushdie is pissed that his ex-girlfriend said he was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. He says: "I long ago turned the page and moved on." [Page Six]
• Glenn Beck travels with an armed guard. Even when he goes to the bathroom. [Page Six]
• "A strip club worker accused of beating to death the ex-fiance of a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been freed on bond." [CBS News]
• At the link: James Gandolfini, Elaine Stritch and fat jokes. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options. Which still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead. Which son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?" [Page Six]
• "The trouble is, before, I felt married to two people — Pete and our management." — Whatshername. [Daily Mail]
• "I wish to make it perfectly clear for the record that my manager, Claire Powell, who I have known for the past 16 years, is my manager and a personal friend. She has never betrayed me or done anything other than support me, which is more than can be said for my ex wife." — Whatshisname. [The Sun]
• "There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy… Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger … and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction… I would have blown my brains out." — Hulk Hogan writes about his suicidal thoughts after his divorce in his new book. [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• "I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us." — 87-year-old Carl Reiner, who has two new books out. The story at the link details his fascinating life from a high schooler in New York to working in the garment industry to becoming a writer/director. [LA Times]
• "I know what they're eating and I know what they're doing. Their friends' parents understand their vegetarian and no-TV needs. I give them age-appropriate messages. It's just like most parents don't allow alcohol or cigarettes. I tell them that everyone does things differently and that's OK. It's very important to us to raise nonjudgmental children who don't go finger-wagging. When they're driving themselves around, they're going to make their own decisions, but fast food isn't something I'm gonna facilitate. Still, at some point they"re going to make their own decisions. You give your children wings so they can fly." — Mayim Bialik on raising her kids holistically and via "green mothering." [HuffPo]
• "I've offered to come on Saturday Night Live because I thought I would help them get the ratings. Because clearly that humor that they had when they first had Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi ... has gone (with) this (current) cast of characters. I thought I would show some benevolence as governor and help them out a little bit." — Governor David Paterson, who is often mocked on SNL for being blind. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." — Carnie Wilson on her hew reality series, Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, in which viewers will see her trying to take off about 50 pounds of "baby weight." [AP]
• "We've had a real good collaboration. Crucially, she approved me as director, and she didn't have to. We had some discussions that were very important — my convincing her that I didn't want to take her baby and run away with it, or tell a story that was counter to the spirit of what she was trying to tell. I see myself, in the last few movies I've done, as adapting literary properties into film, so that's how I treated this one. We got along like a house on fire." — Chris Weitz, who's directing New Moon, kept in contact with Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, to Details. You saw the pix, right? [Page Six]
• "He was eating chips and dip and he was laughing so hard, he started choking. I thought I'd killed Tony Romo. Here it would be like killing David Beckham or Pele, it was a scary moment."— Jeremy Piven told a deadly joke. [Mirror]
• "We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life." — Lisa Marie Presley, who had twins last year, has left L.A. for London. [Contact Music]
• "[Quitting the show] was a complete anomaly in my life and my career. I've never missed out on anything. I relished the opportunity to be on Broadway… It's the holy grail for people like me. But I was incredibly ill. The levels of mercury I had, they had no reference for them. I had to be retested three times. Sometimes when you work without stopping, your body gives in. That is what happened. I've done more movies than years I've been alive. All I've done is work… I arrived in Los Angeles in my early 20s and I've been pounding the pavement ever since. But it wasn't until Entourage that my work became accessible to so many people. If there's one thing I'm prepared for, it's rejection." — Jeremy Piven. [Guardian]
• "Sitting on an island smoking my first joint." — Tyler Perry, when asked where he would like to be in 10 years. [Page Six]
• "I told them, don't ask me to grow out my hair or lose any weight. I want to represent real women who have curves." — Amber Rose on signing with Ford Models. She did, however, agree not to get any more tattoos. [LA Times]

[New York, October 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, have been invited to spend Christmas on Johnny Depp's private island with Depp and his wife, Vanessa Paradis. Celebrities! They're just like us...if we had an ex-boyfriend with a private island. [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly together again, for the 80th time. [TheSun]
• The pair were seen eating dinner together with Courteney Cox Arquette and her husband, David, and Aniston was "was on his arm and they were very lovey." [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Aniston and her father, John Aniston have come together to narrate a children's book for charity; $2 from each book sold will be given to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. [JustJared]
• Blake Lively is allegedly a very big fan of Victoria Beckham and recently tried to convince Beckham to guest star on Gossip Girl, taking her case to the producers of the show. "Victoria isn't an actress and wanted her role to be very tongue-in-cheek," says a source, "And an idea for her to play Ed Westwick's long-lost mother was quickly vetoed. Victoria joked that she'd rather play his ex-love interest!" [ShowbizSpy]
• 3,000 people came out to say farewell to Boyzone star Stephen Gately this morning at his funeral; Gately passed away at the age of 33 last week. [Reuters]
• Pete Wentz, who says he wants a "soccer team" of kids, also says that having a son made him realize how much his own father did for him: "It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." [People]
• An interesting question for your Saturday morning: "Is Kevin Costner Germany's new David Hasselhoff?" [People]
• Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole Smith took methadone while pregnant with their daughter, Dannielynn, as she feared withdrawal would cause her to lose the baby. [NYDN]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was caught on tape screaming a homophobic slur at a doorman last night after being denied entrance a club. [TMZ]
• TLC reportedly knows just how much money Jon Gosselin has been making from his interviews and promotional appearances, and, according to RadarOnline, "the network wants all that money plus damages in a court battle that has the strong possibility of leaving Jon flat broke." [RadarOnline]
• Michael Crichton's wife and daughter are currently fighting over the late author's estate, as Crichton's daughter wants his wife (her step-mother) removed as trustee of Crichton's estate. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston is preparing for his upcoming Playgirl shoot by eating tons of lean protein, including moose meat, according to his trainer: "Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean." [People]
• Two Ohio police chiefs accused of breaking in to the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in order to collect information on Parker and her husband, Matthew Broderick, to sell to the tabloids, face between 14-21 years of jail if convicted. [E!]
• Ryan Reynolds is currently working on a film "described as a dude-in-drag romantic comedy, with Reynolds playing a jilted lover who must disguise himself as a woman and befriend his ex in order to win her back." [Variety]
• "I've found that people are cool if you don't treat them like jerks."-Penn Badgely [NYTimes]
• Andrew Keegan's ex-girlfriend claims she isn't surprised that a judge refused to grant her a permanent restraining order against Keegan, whom she's accused of abusing her in the past: "
  "I'm fine. I guess deep down inside, I knew I had a slim chance in winning, considering I didn't hire an expensive lawyer to bail me out. In fact, I went alone as a strong woman who was standing up to someone who hurt her." [TMZ]
• "What they really want from us is just to open the movie and then get lost after introducing a new generation of ghostbusters, who can start the franchise all over again. I've heard the script idea, and part of it is good but, ye know, it's going to be tough to start again." -Bill Murray on Ghostbusters III [TimesOnline]
• Cindy Crawford says she gets her famous mole checked often, as she fears it might become cancerous. [DailyMail]
• Curious about the type of condoms Jamie Kennedy uses? Well, wonder no more, I guess. [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian says no matter what she does, bloggers and commenters will criticize her body: "Well, I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose. It's like I can never have a good body. But I have a really strong sense of self-esteem. It kind of frustrates me because I do work really hard. I eat really well and I try to look the best I can." [ShowbizSpy]
• Debbie Rowe has filed a $490,000 lawsuit against Rebecca White, who claimed that she had an email from Rowe stating that Rowe didn't want custody of her children with Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, ‘This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with."-Kristen Bell [ShowbizSpy]

[New York, October 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, October 13. Image via Splash.]

In a juicy profile, New Yorker's Rebecca Mead goes inside the behemoth teen taste-maker Alloy, a sort of sinister junior Clear Channel that's responsible for much of the YA bestseller list, including the multimedia Gossip Girl and Traveling Pants juggernauts and, more lately, The Vampire Diaries. And do we ever see the pink, undead, bratty sausage being made! Here's how Mead describes the efficient hit-factory:

[Alloy] pack-ges about thirty novels a year for publishers, and also generates television shows and a growing number of ideas for featurefilms. In order to do all this, Alloy has developed a process with an industrial level of efficiency. Ideas are typically suggested in weekly development meetings and, if they gain the approval of Morgenstein and Bank, are fleshed out into a short summary by an editor. A writer is asked to create a sample chapter on spec; if Alloy executives are happy with the sample, they put her (or, on occasion, him) on contract. The writer hashes out a plot with Bank, one or two other editors, and Sara Shandler, Alloy's editorial director-an alumnus of Seventeen, who, at the age of nineteen, put together the anthology "Ophelia Speaks".

It's always kind of creepy to see unabashed marketing at work, and especially when it's aimed at an impressionable age-group, however lucrative. Of course, cash-in teen-lit has a long pseudonomynous history, from Nancy Drew to Sweet Valley. And the Alloy execs would just say they're giving kids what they want. One Alloy exec defends it thusly: "Editors and publishers can get hung up on what's good for kids...At Alloy, they always think first about what kids want to read." Which, of course, isn't always - or indeed, ever - an improving tract. And the idea that the body of literature informs and shapes said nascent tastes, paving the way for a lifetime of dutiful buying - well, that's conveniently ignored. Yes, kids want candy and Easy-Mac: because they've seen ads designed to attract them. Not because it's what's best for their development, or some genetic imperative of childhood.

Sure, some of the series sound really interesting (I really want to read the second "Wish" book that they map out in the piece), and the Alloy execs say we're moving away, culturally, from the excess of "brat lit" into Twilit territory because "more serious, angsty literature is where girls are right now. Morbid, dead-girl lit." And some of the book are even of historical interest! Mead mentions a new novel about
"a boy who acquires superhuman powers after being tortured during the Civil War." Then there's the new gilded-age Gossip-Girl-esque series, the cover image of which Mead describes:

The result is a look that no woman in the Gilded Age would have been immodest enough to wear beyond the boudoir or the brothel, though the Alloy team felt that the sartorial anachronism was entirely forgivable (much like the heroine's request for "ciggies"-slang that would take another sixty years to emerge). "Girls today would not relate to the more severe necklines and covered arms and horrible hair styles that girls were wearing at the time," Sara Shandler says. "We tried to do the imaginary-princess version." Or, as one of the publishers competing for the book described the gown, "the ultimate fuck-me prom dress."

And there, of course, is the rub. There's a continuing belief that kids can't relate to anything unlike themselves. Richer versions of themselves, 19th Century versions of themselves, maybe magic versions of themselves - but the feeling seems to be that kids are such incredible narcissists that any truly expanded horizons are more than they can handle. And the problem, of course, is that it's self-fulfilling. The other day I passed a poster at the bus stop bearing a still from the new Where The Wild Things Are movie. "Read," it ordered - seemingly without irony. Alloy would totally agree.

The Gossip Mill [New Yorker]

• Michael and Dina Lohan will work together on getting Lindsay Lohan off of pills. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]

• Papa Lohan says of Lindsay: "Her problem is prescription drug use. I've seen pictures of her in Paris, and she looks totally out of it. There are morons hanging around her, and they have their hands on my daughter." [Gatecrasher]
• But! Dina Lohan says: "I don't go — like my ex — on national television and make things up. He's estranged from Lindsay; he doesn't know what's going on in her life. Michael doesn't talk to her. "I've had full custody of all my children for the last 10 years. He has been incarcerated for some of that time, so whatever is going on in Lindsay's personal life is our business. And for him getting paid to say things about her when he's five months behind in child support is wrong." Oh, and re: Ungaro, Dina sniffs: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius." [Page Six]
• "Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God."— Dina Lohan. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician, may face arrest — and could lose his medical license — after missing a late child support hearing. [NY Post]
• "The CBS producer accused of blackmailing David Letterman was convinced the comic king bedded 'six or seven' female staffers, a pal of the newsman said Thursday." [NY Daily News]
• A chimpanzee was supposed to be a guest judge on Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday, but PETA complained. This is not a joke. [NY Post]
• Nicole Kidman has teamed up with Omega watches — she signed watch boxes to benefit the United Nations Development Fund for Women. Fifty percent of the proceeds of the watch sales will go to UNIFEM. [WWD]
• Jon Gosselin didn't leave the twins' birthday party at 6pm — he stayed to put his kids to bed. And he was cordial to Kate. But did not spend the night. [TMZ, People]
• You know how Jon Gosselin brought a misspelled birthday cake (it's "Mady", not "Maddy") to his kids' birthday party? Well it was sort of an insult to Kate, who was making a cake from scratch. [BBC News]
• Mischa Barton was spotted buying rounds of shots for Ryan Ross — formerly of Panic At The Disco; currently in Young Veins. [Gatecrasher]
• Mischa Barton was spotted getting out a cab in front of a bar, yelling "I need a drink!" Been there. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Nicolas Cage owes over six million dollars in unpaid taxes. Uncle Sam doesn't like that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Phil is denying that he forced a woman to stare at a naked man and grabbed her breast. [TMZ]
• Hilary Swank walks around naked in front of her boyfriend's son. "You wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude," she admits. "But he doesn't look twice. He doesn't think about it yet." Really? He's 6 years old. [Gatecrasher via Marie Claire]
• Khloe Kardashian will now be known as Khloe Kardashian Odom. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams will do his stand up act, Weapons Of Self Destruction, in NYC in November, his first show since having heart surgery. [NY Daily News]
• LOL: Woody Harrelson gets his zombie punchlines from Paul McCartney. [NY Post]
• Mya's dress split at a party; she used safety pins and staples to cobble it back together. Stars are just like us! [Page Six]
• "The husband of Danielle Staub from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" claims she strait up lied when she called him a rapist and a dog murderer ... and now he's suing her for defamation." [TMZ]
• At the link is a recap and insider report and blow-by-blow account of Jeremy Piven's Broadway drama/Speed-the-Plow meltdown. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue will do a residency in Vegas? Makes total sense. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Kylie: her ex-boyfriend Olivier Martinez has accepted undisclosed libel damages over a claim that he had cheated on her during their long-term relationship. The Sun apparently makes stuff up. [The Star]
• Breaking: Audrina Patridge is single and happy. [People]
• Kristen Bell will star as Christina Aguilera's rival in Burlesque, a musical drama about "a small-town girl with a big-town voice who finds love and success in a neo-burlesque club." You guys, Cher plays the club owner. CHER. [Hollywood Reporter]
• On the Wanda Sykes HBO special: "She is… the funniest person in America… Sykes gets the crowd laughing early and keeps them laughing to the end, with no significant down time and no cheap tricks… [It] all builds to a prolonged, brilliant segment on being gay and black that puts a racial spin on every coming-out cliché- making us see both with new eyes." [USA Today]
• "Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, long recognized for his artistic achievements, was honored with the Liberty Medal on Thursday for his compassion and humanitarian work." [AP]
• Parker Posey has joined the cast of Highland Park, a dark comedy with Danny Glover. The film focuses on the high school faculty in a struggling community. In the story, a teacher wins the lottery and uses the cash to restore the local library; the film is actually attempting to help reopen a real library in Detroit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "Thursday's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a dark turn. Following the news of the death of Anthony "AJ" Jewel outside his Atlanta strip club last week, viewers watched his then-fiancée, Housewife Kandi Burruss, waver about the future of their relationship - awkwardly unaware, as the cameras rolled, that the relationship had no future." [People]
• Isaiah Washington: Still looking for jobs. Sources say it's not because of the Grey's fallout, but because he is difficult to work with. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Gloria Estefan bought 2,000 tickets for her concert in Puerto Rico this weekend and will distribute them via raffle among 17,000 recently laid-off government workers. [AP]
• Gladys Knight is embarking on a farewell tour? Is she taking a midnight train? [Independent]
• "I'm in 'Gay Paris' — I swear as an Englishman that by the time I leave tomorrow it'll be known as 'Hetero Paris.' Or at least Bi Paris." — Russell Brand. [NY Daily News]
• "I was always thinking 'how am I going to keep my old chap in my pants?' But Ayda and me are very loved up – sprogs on the way and all that business. I don't know what will go on down the road, but I don't want to do anything to fuck it up or do anything to upset her." — Robbie Williams on gf Ayda Field. [Telegraph]
• "My dad went into a rant. Farrah came flying at him to defend herself, he blocked her and, in the process, broke her arm. They spun the truth to protect Ryan (but) I was there, I saw it happen." — Griffin O'Neal says his father Ryan O'Neal cheated on Farrah Fawcett and was abusive. [Daily Express]
• "It's obviously very strange, a little mad. Especially the [Audrey] Hepburn comparisons. I mean, that's such a lovely thing to say about the film, and I see it in the Paris montage. But you know, I didn't think about the end product much when I was making it. I just thought, what fun! There's Emma Thompson! I had to fight for this part; I auditioned three times and must have called my agent every day for two months afterwards. I knew it was a special gang going in, but I just thought…oh, I have to play Jenny. Her journey is enormous." — Carey Mulligan on all the buzz her performance in new film An Education is getting, in which she plays "a fiercely intelligent teenage girl living in barely pre-Beatles London." [The Daily Beast]
• "It's fucking weird. I'll be the first to admit that New York is one of the greatest cities in the world. But what you see on screen is not the life we really lead." — Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley, who likes taco stands, not fancy restaurants. [BlackBook]
• "The only expert thing I know about a relationship is that I don't know anything. I think every time I think I know something, obviously you then learn that you don't know anything, but I do know this to be true: I know that men marry women hoping that they will not change, and women marry men hoping that they will change, and inevitably, everyone's disappointed." — Vince Vaughn. [Independent]
• "Younger guys are generally more adventurous, not set in their ways. I don't like guys my age because they are normally either married or divorced and grumpy, fat and balding." — Madonna. [Daily Express]

[New York, October 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Heidi Klum is changing her name to Heidi Samuel! Did you know that her husband's real name is Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel? Short and sweet. [TMZ]

• Last night, David Letterman apologized to female staffers and his wife, saying: "She's been horribly hurt by my behavior. If you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it. At that point, there's only two things that can happen. Either you make some progress and get it fixed, or you're going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed… Let me tell you folks, I've got my work cut out for me." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman may have violated CBS rules about supervisor/subordinate relationships. But. David Letterman doesn't work for CBS; he works for Worldwide Pants, his production company. WWP says, "We have a written policy in our employee manual that covers harassment. It is circulated to every employee every year. Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him." [TMZ]
• Former Late Show staffer Stephanie Birkitt's diary reveals that she continued having sex with David Letterman even after moving in with her CBS-producer boyfriend. Birkitt told her boyfriend that the relationship was platonic and that she was "just his best friend." [NY Post]
• Craig Ferguson defended David Letterman last night: "The person you work for, the person you admire and respect, is caught in an embarrassing situation," he said. "And your job is to be funny about that, whilst trying to keep your own job." [AP]
• Roman Polanski will find out whether he will be granted a release from prison sometime this week. His legal team filed an appeal on September 29, and the Swiss government should issue a ruling by Friday. [AP]
• Uh-oh: A woman named Regina Kimbell says she showed Chris Rock her 2005 documentary, My Nappy Roots, on the set of his TV show Everybody Hates Chris back in 2007. She believes he stole her idea and turned it into Good Hair, which opens Friday. She's looking for $5 million. [TMZ]
• The judge in the Gosselin case has did not make a decision yesterday regarding the cash Jon withdrew from the joint account. We should hear something soon, though. [TMZ]
• Zondervan, the publishing house that printed Kate Gosselin's earlier books, Multiple Bles8ings and Eight Little Faces is not promoting her third book, Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories on its Web site any longer. The book was supposed to come out in the fall… [MSNBC Scoop]
• OMFG: Lady Gaga on Gossip Girl? Whee! My head is exploding! [Gatecrasher]
• An LA judge ruled Friday that Dr. Arnold Klein — Michael Jackson's dermatologist — does not have the right to raise concern about the welfare of any of Jackson's three children. When asked if he had any legal relationship with the kids, the doctor was "evasive." [NY Post]
• Carrie Fisher's show, Wishful Drinking, suggests that Brad Pitt's public love triangle with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is the modern-day equivalent of her dad, Eddie Fisher, leaving mom Debbie Reynolds for raven-haired temptress Elizabeth Taylor. Jennifer Aniston went to see the show! Carries says: "She's a very nice girl. I didn't speak to her, but I heard that she liked it. At least, I hope she liked it." [Gatecrasher]
• The Madonna wedding pix case: Settled. She's accepted a "substantial" amount after suing the owners of The Mail for publishing stolen photos of her wedding to Guy Ritchie. [Mirror]
• "Kate Moss had a bust-up with rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince after she was grabbed by a man in a banana hammock thong at Simon Cowell's $1.6 million 50th birthday bash." [Page Six]
• Russell Brand is in love. Possibly with Katy Perry. He says: "I think I'm in love." [The Sun]
• So many Mad Men weddings! Christina Hendricks, Elisabeth Moss and now Bryan Batt, aka Salvatore Romano. He plans to marry his longtime partner, events planner Tom Cianfichi. A source says it could be Christmas in Vermont. Whee! [Ace Showbiz]
• "Naomi Watts has been named as the Hollywood actress who gives the best return on the money she is paid. The 41-year-old star's last three films made $44 for every $1 she was paid to appear." [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse will sing on BBC One's Strictly Come Dancing this weekend — as a backup singer for her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [BBC News]
• Have we decided who would make a better Prince Harry? Robert Pattinson or Rupert Grint? [Telegraph]
• Brooke Burns' dog is missing. [People]
• "The 'husband' divorced by Little Britain star Matt Lucas ten months ago hanged himself yesterday. Kevin McGee, 32, who wed the comic in a 2006 civil ceremony, left a suicide note on Facebook. It declared: 'Kevin McGee thinks death is much better than life.'" [The Sun]
• Kevin McGee "is thought to have become deeply depressed over the past few months after breaking up with the comedian, and friends reported that his drug-taking had spiraled out of control." [Daily Mail]
• "Little Britain star Matt Lucas has pulled out of his lead role in a London play after the death of his former partner Kevin McGee." [BBC News]
• Someone had a seizure during an intense scene during screening of Lars von Trier's Antichrist. You know, the one where Charlotte Gainsbourg tortures Willem Dafoe's twig and berries? [Page Six]
• "The blunt truth is weed-loving rapper Method Man may go to jail because he 'forgot' to pay his taxes." [NY Post]
• Layne Staley may be gone, but Alice In Chains lives on. [CNN]
• Dr. Phil is going to be a grandpa. The kind who knows everything. [People]
• It's been 20 years since Lenny Kravitz's Let Love Rule was released? I feel old. [NY Post]
• Whatshisname is calling his divorce a "never-ending nightmare." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is planning a divorce party. [The Sun]
• "I thought I was going to die for real. I should have felt safe but at a certain point of climbing a mountain, you're in a cloud and you hear a noise that is electricity — what can they do to protect you from electricity in the cloud you're in? So they were like, 'Sit on your bag, it's made of rubber'. I went, 'Why?' They said, 'So you don't get electrocuted'. I was like, 'Hang on, I'm on a TV show!' …I prayed. It was probably about half an hour and this is after two previous meltdowns begging Jack - like, 'Cut! Seriously, rescue me!' and he was like, 'From where? There's nowhere a helicopter can land', so I had to get to the summit to get off." — Natalie Imbruglia on working with Jack Osbourne on his TV show Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie. [News.com.au]
• "I'm tired of holding this in. I don't know what to do with it anymore, so, I've decided to give some of it away." — Tyler Perry, on revealing details about his unhappy childhood, abusive father and being molested by a female neighbor at the age of 10. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm insane or stupid. I can't figure out which." — Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, on performing on Dancing With The Stars despite stress fractures in both feet. [NY Daily News]
• "Anyone who thinks we move in a post-racial society is someone who's been smoking crack." — Spike Lee, 20 years after the release of Do The Right Thing. [Guardian]
• "He's got all these strong women working for him. Strong women survive there." — An anonymous Late Show staffer, on David Letterman. [MSNBC]
• "Less is more. When I wear too much make-up, I feel like a man in drag. I prefer to be low maintenance." — Halle Berry, to In Style. [MSNBC]