The Top Theories About Why Solange Attacked Jay Z

Today's leaked elevator surveillance video of Solange Knowles getting all Bad Girls Club on her brother-in-law Jay Z provided the world with all the receipts it needs that shit is fucked up in the Knowles-Carter family. But the real tea isn't the fight itself, but what could have possibly gone down between the two to… » 5/12/14 7:00pm 5/12/14 7:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Battle of the Celebrity Engagement Rings

Welcome back, friends. As always, Callie Beusman hitched a ride to the newsstand to pick up the latest issues of In Touch, Ok!, Star, Us, and Life & Style, so that together we can "read" them and you don't "have" to. This week: Prince George is a cover baby; Katy Perry is hooking up with Jared Leto, Diplo and Robert… » 4/23/14 3:10pm 4/23/14 3:10pm

This Week in Tabloids: Miley in Danger of Drug-Induced Heart Attack

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman and I try to snuggle up to tabloid gossip, using the silky sheets from the new issues of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us, and Star. This week: One cover features a sonogram "dramatization" to "prove" that Angelina Jolie is knocked up; Tori Spelling offers TMI;… » 4/16/14 3:20pm 4/16/14 3:20pm

Tell Us About Your Craziest Celebrity Encounters

Welcome to Pissing Contest, a weekly story sharing circle for the the ass-draggiest time of the afternoon on the ass-draggiest time of the last day between you and the weekend. Every week, we'll ask a question, you'll share stories, and we'll pick a winner that's featured in the next week's post. It's like a pyramid… » 4/11/14 5:00pm 4/11/14 5:00pm

This Week in Tabloids: Lindsay Lohan's List of Dudes She Had Sex With

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand and together we "read" the celebrity tabloids so you don't have to. This week: Prince Harry is on the verge of proposing to Cressida Bonas; a green juice diet has turned Kristen Stewart into a "raging witch"; and Lindsay Lohan made… » 3/12/14 2:45pm 3/12/14 2:45pm

This Week in Tabloids: Ellen and Portia to Drop Divorce Bombshell

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday, the ever-intrepid Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand for the new issues of Us, In Touch, Life & Style, Ok! and Star, so that together we may study the dark magicks lurking in the celebrity grimoires. This week: Kate Middleton's knocked up with twins; Jared Leto is… » 3/05/14 3:30pm 3/05/14 3:30pm

The Week in Tabloids: Kendall Jenner Steals Kim Kardashian Vogue Cover

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman makes a pilgrimage to the local newsstand and buys the latest issues of Ok!, In Touch, Life & Style, Us and Star. Together we "read" the "news" so you don't "have" to. This week: Nicole Richie is "scary skinny;" everyone hates The Bachelor; and new fashion it… » 2/26/14 3:10pm 2/26/14 3:10pm

Justin Bieber Won't Take DUI Plea Deal Because Drug Testing

Justin Bieber is prepared to reject a plea deal prosecutors have offered in his Miami Beach drunk drag racing escapades., mostly because he's unwilling to submit to random drug testing, mostly because he smokes a lot of weed, mostly because hobbies that 19-year-old millionaires specialize in such as sex, video games,… » 2/23/14 11:30am 2/23/14 11:30am

This Week in Tabloids: Another Lady Quits The Bachelor ('He's a Jerk')

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman skips to the newsstand to procure the celebrity weeklies (In Touch, Ok!, Us, Star, Life & Style) and together we peruse these silly nursery rhymes of gossip. This week: Kate Middleton is pregnant with a little princess; Juan Pablo is a "jerk" and an… » 2/19/14 3:45pm 2/19/14 3:45pm

American Duke Charlie Sheen Is Engaged (Again)

The Sheen men— Martin, Charlie and Emilio — are a prime example of American celebrity nobility, so, to mock the absurd way actual nobles and royals are still celebrated in certain frivolous, Grinch-shaped (concentrate on the bottom and imagine a Santa cap) islands around the world, we ought to spend this Sunday… » 2/16/14 11:30am 2/16/14 11:30am

This Week In Tabloids: Bony Arms, Matchstick Legs and Eating Disorders

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman hits the newsstand and together we thoughtfully analyze the celebrity tabloids: Ok!, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Star. This week: There's an eating disorder issue full of "bony" arms and "matchstick" legs; there's an apology for incorrectly reporting… » 2/12/14 3:45pm 2/12/14 3:45pm

Noted Word Thief Shia LaBeouf Storms Out of Berlin Press Conference

Shia LaBeouf, that dust devil of celebrity angst, swirled out of a press conference in Berlin for Lars von Trier's new sex movie Nymphomaniac after a reporter asked him a seemingly obvious question about doing a movie with so many sex scenes. LaBeouf, apparently nonplussed by the sex query, gave a characteristically… » 2/09/14 11:30am 2/09/14 11:30am

This Week in Tabloids: Justin Cheated on Selena With Miley

Welcome back! Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand so that together we may dissect the celebrity tabloids, In Touch, Life & Style, Us, Ok! and Star. This week: Bruce Jenner is "stealing Kim's look"; Beyoncé is losing her curves; and Selena Gomez told folks in group therapy that Justin Bieber cheated… » 2/05/14 5:00pm 2/05/14 5:00pm

Canadian Rapscallion Justin Bieber Should Be Deported, Says American Guy

Justin Bieber, the Menace from Manitoba, the Villain of Vancouver, the Cretin in Calgary, the Lawbreaker from London (that one is actually accurate) should be kicked out of the United States, a country whose innocence he has, with his loose Canadian morals and possible SOCIALIST sympathies, officially destroyed as of… » 2/02/14 2:00pm 2/02/14 2:00pm

Beyoncé Has Already Upstaged the Super Bowl Halftime Show

Sensing, perhaps, that last year's Super Bowl halftime act would be hard to beat and that Bruno Mars already had enough pressure to perform well this evening, Beyoncé kept quietly to herself last night, thumbing through a dogeared copy of Anna Karenina as she contemplated the youthful short-sightedness of Vronksy.… » 2/02/14 11:30am 2/02/14 11:30am

This Week in Tabloids: Kim Doesn't Want Bruce in Wedding If He's Trans

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman and I ride the valiant tabloid steeds into the sunset of Gossiptown. This week's lies: Lindsay Lohan is drinking wine for breakfast and blowing rails of coke for lunch; Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke are not speaking to each other; and Kim Kardashian feels that… » 1/29/14 4:30pm 1/29/14 4:30pm

Florida Cops Suspended for Giving Justin Bieber an Unofficial Escort

On Monday evening, just a few days before he was arrested for drag racing under the influence in Miami Beach, Justin Bieber was escorted from a Miami-area airport by several Florida police officers because that's just the sort of first-class treatment celebrities should expect from our public servants. For their act… » 1/26/14 12:30pm 1/26/14 12:30pm