Time and time again, Ted Cruz’s daughters have given their father and the world subtle yet insistent signs that they are not willing members of the #CruzCrew. And time and time again, Ted Cruz does not seem to be able to take a hint.

President Obama will announce his pick to replace Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court at 11 a.m. Wednesday, and that’s when everything will promptly fucking fall apart. Senate Republicans have made it clear they won’t hold a hearing on Obama’s choice, so the only thing left is an irritable battle of words.

Rep. Pete Sessions (R-Texas), the chairman of the House Rules Committee, has recently introduced a resolution called “Recognizing magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.”

The New York Times has published an alarming profile of Donald Trump’s longtime Mar-a-Lago butler Anthony Senecal, who doesn’t appear to mind that his boss is a close land-dwelling relative of the ancient Charybdis. “You can always tell when the king is here,” Senecal tells Jason Horowitz at the Times, referring to…

The Republican National Committee has doubled down on its commitment to being a real headache by employing the conservative group America Rising Squared as a kind of attack squad. POTUS is almost out but let’s keep the contention going, shall we?

Ah, November 2015. Back when Bobby Jindal was still running for president and Ted Cruz was just another weird, squinty goblin-man who said things like “abortifacient,” noted anti-gay pastor Kevin Swanson hosted Jindal, Cruz, and Mike Huckabee at the so-called National Religious Liberties Conference to chat about God…

Mitt Romney, a cryogenically reanimated TV announcer from the 60's, is back in the publicity game because he wants Trump gone and also would love some attention from those “millennials” he keeps hearing about!

Kentucky’s new governor Matt Bevin, whose political views and personal affect are a cross between Ted Cruz and a labradoodle, has posted a video of himself marching through Kentucky’s empty House chambers to prove that Democrats aren’t working on the budget.

This time last year, the mood at the Conservative Political Action Conference could best be described as giddy as hell. Republicans were, at that point, spoiled for presidential candidates: Rand Paul won the presidential straw poll, with Scott Walker close behind. Ben Carson spent the event being trailed by his own…

In a New Jersey press conference on Thursday, Gov. Chris Christie revealed that contrary to reports, he is not being held hostage by Donald Trump. It is not known whether he was blinking rapidly when he made this statement, or drawing “H-E-L-P” in the air with his hands.

On Tuesday evening, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie stood beside his new master as that master gave a news conference from his Mar-A-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Florida. That is where Christie lives now.

Welcome, patriots, to what history will almost certainly see as the night America sealed its gruesome fate. That’s right—it’s Donald Trump Victory Night. And judging by the various primaries and caucuses thus far, it’s sure to be a night we’ll never forget. No matter how hard we try.

On February 29, tangerine nightmare Donald Trump held an evening rally at Valdosta State University in Valdosta, Georgia. But before he addressed the crowd, he instructed Secret Service agents to remove 30 black students standing silently at the top of the bleachers.

A pair of Donald Trump supporters known on their popular YouTube channel as Diamond and Silk were interviewed on CNN about Thursday’s GOP debate, but were mostly interested in exploring some gay rumors about Trump’s establishment inverse, Marco Rubio.

A pair of Illinois Republicans have co-sponsored a bill that would refuse to issue a birth certificate to any newborn child whose father is not listed. Hello and welcome to the year 1903!

In the single good thing that’s occurred in this election season so far, the Daily Beast reports that Ted Cruz and Ben Carson met for a very tense secret meeting in a storage closet in a South Carolina convention center near the bathrooms. As you do.

The year is 1280, and House Speaker Paul Ryan is not going to let Mel Gibson get hanged, drawn and quartered!

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died only Saturday, but with the stop of his pulse came a firestorm of debate over when and under what terms his replacement would be appointed. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has already threatened to block anyone President Obama proposes, arguing that “it would be…

Truthers, your Age of Aquarius has dawned. February 13's GOP debate, which ended up being only a few pot-shots away from devolving into an oil-wresting free-for-all between the Republican presidential hopefuls, apparently wasn’t the only thing on the minds of tuned-in voters. Rather than watching the verbal boxing…