Every Headline About Rick Santorum Winning in Iowa is Disgusting

After recounting the votes in the Iowa caucuses, a bombshell from The Hawkeye State: the winner of the first contest of the primary season wasn't actually Mitt Romney, but Pennsylvania shitstain Rick Santorum. And thanks to the pervasive neologism of Santorum's name, every single headline about it is disgusting. » 1/19/12 2:15pm 1/19/12 2:15pm

Newt Gingrich Urges Gays Not to Vote for Him

At a campaign stop in Iowa yesterday, Professional Republican Stereotype Newt Gingrich informed a gay Iowan that if he wants his homo-needs met, he'd be better off voting for President Obama in 2012. That's right: a candidate for President used time on a campaign stop to explicitly tell someone not to vote for him.… » 12/21/11 11:40am 12/21/11 11:40am

Michele Bachmann Claims Kinsey Report Is 'A Myth,' Causes Irony to…

Delusional theocrat Michele Bachmann has broken irony again, this time by claiming that the Kinsey Report, arguably one of the most significant scientific publications in the last century, is "a myth." Why? Because in Bachmanalia, up is down, left is right, science is myth and myth is science. » 12/19/11 6:30pm 12/19/11 6:30pm

Michele Bachmann's Home District Might Disappear

A proposed redistricting plan in Minnesota may force Michele Bachmann to run against a more seasoned incumbent should she choose to seek reelection for her House seat. Everyone is angry about this, including the Democrat against whom Bachmann would run. Nothing more dramatic than a good redistricting fight. » 11/21/11 6:40pm 11/21/11 6:40pm

Lowlights From The Eight Zillionth Republican Debate

Last night, Republican presidential hopefuls got the band back together again for another debate reunion tour, and like most bands whose best albums are behind them, the old familiar songs just didn't sound the same. Chords were off. Rick Perry forgot the words. Mitt Romney experienced a hair gel malfunction… » 11/10/11 11:40am 11/10/11 11:40am

The Curious Case of Mitt Romney, An Abortion, And Eliza Dushku's Mom

Mitt Romney, the GOP candidate with whom your grandmother would most like to waltz, has caught flack in the past for his conveniently flippity floppity views on abortion. Like many of his Republican brethren, he says now that he opposes abortion in all cases except rape, incest, or to preserve the health of the… » 10/20/11 10:30am 10/20/11 10:30am

The 10 Assiest Moments From Last Night's Republican Debate

The latest in a seemingly neverending series of fall debates between 2012 Republican presidential nominee hopefuls, last night's debate featured every candidate flying their asshole flag loud and proud. Even though the night was teeming with stupid, here are ten moments that outshone the others in their sheer… » 10/19/11 11:40am 10/19/11 11:40am