GOOP - Jezebel

posts about #goop more →
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
You're A Better Woman Than We Are! (Or At Least Hungrier)
War, Peace, & Giant "Roaches": Gwynnie Speaks On Literature, Life
Gwyneth Gives Free Ad Space To Fancy NYC Literary Agent
Gwyneth Paltrow's Very Own Cooking Show — Sort Of
JOOP: Your Guide To Not Feeling Bad About Relaxing And Enjoying Life
JOOP: Your Guide To Summer Fun
Capitol Goes Cuckoo For Brad & Nancy
JOOP: Your Guide To The Academy Awards
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marshmallory
09/17/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
So he gave up "dairy, gluten, meat, shellfish, condiments, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, and an entire class of food (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes, and peppers) called nightshades."

Um, WHAT DID HE EAT?!
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Clarissima
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
As a lactose-intolerant vegetarian who despises eggs, with a gluten allergy and needed to quit caffeine for health reasons, I can vouch for the energy burst of such a diet. Seems weird, but it's true. There's definitely something in the Great Cosmic Goop and GP is a swell gal who is far too In The Moment to seem real to the world at large. But she lives it up and who can fault that?

It's all very funny, really.
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Edited by Clarissima at 09/16/09 10:01 PM Clarissima was starred Clarissima was unstarred

ozu
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
Is there a legitimate reason for drinking extra virgin olive oil on a nightly basis? Google is telling me nothing.

This seems so off the wall that it may as well have read "rub paprika on your earlobes during a waning crescent".
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Clarissima
09/16/09

@ozu: extra antioxidants.
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FroderickFronkensteen
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
WHAT THE HELL. I see no mention of Mr. William Joel. I declare the whole thing a wash.
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RodrigoCadiwampus
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
How is she friends with Mario Batali if she doesn't like tomatoes?????????
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ytuhermanotambien
09/16/09

@RodrigoCadiwampus: How does she eat in his restaurants if she doesn't eat pasta or drink alcohol???
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Red-headed bookworm
09/17/09

@ytuhermanotambien: She's does do both, just not all the time. She was actually pretty relaxed about what she ate on the "Spain on the Road" show. I think she just doesn't eat them during a "cleanse".
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Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
I get the impression GOOP never recommends making ratatouille. Pinheads.
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BabyJane promoted this comment

sympathyforthebasementcat
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
gives up "dairy, gluten, meat, shellfish, condiments, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, and an entire class of food (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes, and peppers) called nightshades.

Gwyneth, I gotta tell you something. TOMATOES are GOOD for me. Why you gotta act like you're the queen and we're the sorry people?
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o-line
09/16/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: She'll never see... this face again!
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sympathyforthebasementcat promoted this comment Edited by o-line at 09/16/09 3:33 PM o-line was starred o-line was unstarred

Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink
09/16/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: Seriously. Sorry, GOOPie, nightshades are a delicious part of my VEGGIE diet. Pffffth.
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Saltine
09/16/09

@Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink: She might try to catch me but she cant run in those high heels
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erika
09/16/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: Yeah, that's the macrobiotics thing. I seriously looked into going macrobiotic for a time (I have serious stomach issues and no health insurance and thought it might help) but the whole "nightshade" category really turned me off. So many of my favorite veggies are in there!
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MamaCass
09/16/09

@o-line: She thinks she's a smart little girl, telling me to eat macrobiotic crap.
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vulcanized
09/16/09

@erika: I know! I don't like shellfish, I have cut way back on meat because of its cost, and cut way, way back on drinking. But potatoes? Potatoes are life! Cheap, filling, keep forever! Tomatoes? So easy to grow yourself for next to nothing, full of lycopene, potassium, vitamins, and fiber. Condiments? What the hell? What the fuck is wrong with ketchup? Soy sauce? Horseradish, Worcestershire, hot sauce? Does she just want to be miserable?
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Pterodactyl
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
"Nourish your inner aspect.." Man, I still can't say, type or read this sentence without cracking up. She may mean well, but could she be more ridic?
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KLondike5
09/16/09

@Pterodactyl: I could even tolerate that as a tag line if GOOP didn't have lots of expensive shoes and fancy restaurants.

Conspicuous consumption is not a religious practice.
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Casquivana
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
Why do people take what she says so seriously? I'm a cynic, but the way I see it, Gwynnie is like every other wealthy woman I've ever met, comically out of touch with reality, trying to assert herself through veiled attempts of judging others to avoid actual introspection, turning whatever is going on in her life into a lecture on How To Live in order to try to convince herself that she has something to offer to the world, and in perpetual search of a "meaning" that eludes her because she doesn't know how to validate herself beyond the tangible. I've seen this before, and it always makes me laugh. I don't think this is different, so I really don't get why people take what she says at face value. She certainly opened herself to all the mocking when she decided to create a public forum to say out loud what she thinks, but like every other ridiculous thing out there, you can either ignore it or see it with a critical eye and take with you something that you find worthy of your attention.
And I must say that the "My Life As Gwyneth" piece is pretty damn involuntarily hilarious.
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ZemarSea Urchin
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
So these two writers basically validated Gwen's quest to make people feel good despite her outlandish methods and showed that her heart is in the right place. Sounds like a win for Gwen.
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vulcanized
09/16/09

@ZemarSea Urchin: Her heart may be in the right place, but the writers also suggest her mind is exactly where we thought it was - floating through the clouds amid modern mid-century sinks and $200 cheese knives. It's fine to have great ideas, but if they're this impractical, it's useless since they can't feasibly be put to work by most people.
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tiredfairy
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
You know, I appreciate what she's trying to do here, but I get a little tired of celebs and their obsessive diets. It's absolutely fine to have sugar and processed foods sometimes. It doesn't make you a bad person or unhealthy. I mostly eat veggies and brown rice and tofu, too. But it won't kill you to have some ice cream.

Plus, a lot of this stuff is time consuming to do. Which is fine is you only work a few months a year and spend the rest of the time doing whatever you like. But most of us don't have that.

I don't dislike her, mind you. I think she means well. It's just a lifestyle that requires more time and money than most of us have, and sometimes she seems overly oblivious to that.
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Muggs Bigglesworth
09/16/09

@tiredfairy: Oh, I don't think she means well. I think she means to inflate her sense of self. Altruism, you know, is a complete bullshit idea that does not exist. It is also very easy to live in the most health-conscious, luxurious and eco-friendly way when every menial task is already taken care of by a team of workers. Regular people cannot live like this, because regular people have not staffed private armies of servants.
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TexasCrude
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
ReadsCrime and Punishment, gives herself a sugar-and-coffee scrub, drinks 2 tablespoons of EVOO nightly, does a Seven-Day Detox, gives up "white foods (bread, pasta), preserved foods (chips, cookies), toxic foods (candy, ice cream), and foods containing heavy metals", negativity.

Oh, man. Save for the Dostoevsky, I'd sooner jump off the roof of my building than do any of this crap.

I salute Gwyneth for being able to give up "toxic" foods without getting the shakes like a junkie.
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lilbobbytables
09/16/09

@TexasCrude: I want to eat better, but I actually whimper when contemplating giving up pasta and ice cream. I think my boss thinks I am stabbing myself with a pencil.
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TexasCrude
09/16/09

@lilbobbytables is a la-di-da feminist: To think, man. If I had to give up bread. BREAD!!!

That's enough to make me commit a felony! I love buying grocery store "French" bread loafs and eating them by myself while I'm watching the X-Files.

I don't know how these hippy dippy people do it. I'd die.
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saturn
09/16/09

@TexasCrude: When people suggest giving up bread, I say, Jesus turned himself into bread for us! How dare you give it up?
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TexasCrude
09/16/09

@saturn: And the wine. The wine.
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andromedeia
09/16/09

@TexasCrude: You just described the perfect Saturday night. Mulder, Scully, and carbohydrates- delicious on so many levels.
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cynicalbeatle
09/16/09

@andromedeia: Seconded. Throw in some cheap brie from Trader Joe's, and I'm one happy camper.
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tallgirl-in-heels
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
Wait, she advises giving up nightshades, including potatoes? Didn't she cook chicken and potatoes in her video? Oh Gwynnie, what am I to make of your mixed messages!? Are you trying to help me nourish my inner aspect by forcing me to ponder the contradictions of GOOP, of the world, of Life Itself?! Clearly my burdened brain needs a detox. But first I'll have another cup of coffee. With Sugar. And Cream.
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bananaballs
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
I can't take someone who doesn't eat tomatoes seriously. I'm sorry. I just can't.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@bananaballs: I HATE tomatoes. I challenge you to a duel!
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bananaballs
09/16/09

@bluebears: Knightshades! I accept!
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EdnasEdibles
09/16/09

@bananaballs: I have no problem with tomatoes in a sun-dried form, but seeds in raw tomatoes look like boogers. It's like eating boogers.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@bananaballs: it is settled. pistols at dawn.
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BabyJane
09/16/09

@bananaballs: Team Tomato!
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CissyPants
09/16/09

@bananaballs: I despise tomatoes. People are always appalled when I say that I hate ketchup.
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bananaballs
09/16/09

@bluebears: I'll bring the pasta.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@bananaballs: I'll bring the tomato-less pesto!
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Penny
09/16/09

@bluebears: I don't like tomatoes much at all but I finally discovered the BEST way to make tomato sauce, so now I kind of like them. But only a little bit.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@Penny: I must admit my BF makes a really good tomato sauce and (because I'm such a whiny picky baby) he boils it a really long time so it's basically down to paste. My biggest tomato issue is the texture of them, ew! slimy.
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Edited by bluebears at 09/16/09 2:47 PM bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred

lonewolfer
09/16/09

@Penny: Um, share?
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Penny
09/16/09

@lonewolfer: Got this from Hazan's cookbook. Basically, blanch the tomatoes so you can peel off their skin. Take all the seeds out (you'll need a lot of tomatoes) and throw in a pan on medium-high heat. I cut an onion in half and put it in slice-side down, pulling it out at the end (I hate onions but like the flavor) and put in about a tablespoon of butter. Let it cook down, smashing the tomatoes occasionally, salt and pepper.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@Penny: I hate onions too. Thats a really good way to get the flavor without having onions in the sauce.
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BlondeGoddess
09/16/09

@Penny: Melt in some anchovies too -- it gives the sauce more depth.

And fresh basil! I'm a sucker for basil.
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bluebears
09/16/09

@BlondeGoddess: ew! anchovies! (sorry, I'll stop now)
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Rose.Selavy.Needs.A.Drink
09/16/09

@BabyJane: I am sitting next to you. Let's have the rotten ones to toss.
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BabyJane promoted this comment

ytuhermanotambien
09/16/09

@CissyPants: I love tomatoes, yet hate ketchup. I know tomatoes are an ingredient in ketchup, but I don't really think they taste that similar.
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BabyJane
09/16/09

@ytuhermanotambien: I love all things tomato, but can't drink tomato juice because of the texture, so I hear you.
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linnyt is a walking cliché
09/16/09

In reply to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Goop
what foods have heavy metals in them? who would eat that anyway? what heavy metals am i obliviously eating?
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Private Hangnail
09/16/09

@linnyt is a walking cliché: Fish, mostly, but chocolate has a not insignificant amount of lead in it.
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lilbobbytables
09/16/09

@Private Hangnail: Thing like this are why I sometimes hate knowledge.
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linnyt is a walking cliché
09/16/09

@Private Hangnail: LALALALALA! I didn't hear you!
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