I watched it and loved this Dr. Laura Berman. I was appalled at how puritanical the moms in the audience were. They seemed more outraged by masturbation than by 13/14-yr-old girls giving blow jobs. Sad.
Am I the only one who is of the opinion that there are parts of our lives that maybe our mothers (or parents in general) shouldn't be involved in? Like was said above, self-discovery still exists, and there's just some things that can be done on one's own. And I'm not sure I understand why vibrator has become synomous with masterbation - if I recall correctly, a virbrator isn't a necessary part of the process, at least for many.
I just think that there are parts of life that we have a right to keep private, and I might be in the minority, but I would kinda resent attempts by my parents to force themselves into every aspect of my life.
@plzprettypuss: Why? It's your body. Your parents wipe your butt for you, they teach you how to wipe your own, they teach you how to keep you body strong and healthy. I don't see why sex should be off-limits. I think putting it off-limits cuts your kids off from necessary and valuable information, like being able to come to you after they've been sexually active and saying "Mom, it burns when I pee. What's going on?"
I think the only reason to keep sex private from your parents or resent their involvement in your sexual development is if it comes with judgment (or creepy enthusiasm). But my parents are very matter-of-fact about sex. In my house buying a vibrator is no different than buying a kid an electric toothbrush and saying "Here, in case you haven't figured it out these things are pretty useful. Takes all the guess-work out of it. Now run along and make sure you wash your hands when you're done."
My mother once cleaned my room while I was at school, and when I got home, I saw that she had found my vibrator and placed it under my pillow, like a mint at a hotel.
It was a very gracious, bizarrely comforting gesture.
Whenever the topic turns to masturbation, I feel slightly freaky for having no interest in it until I was around 17 - 18, after I had already had sex. Until I became sexually active, I didn't no what I was missing, I suppose, and didn't really see a need. It seems that lots of people are really, really young though. I didn't no that kids masturbated until I was in college! Embarrassing, I know.
@opalmarie: I'm with you. I had read about it, but I never really tried it out, or got really bored in minutes.
My first vibrator was actually a gift from my first boyfriend. We were "everything but.." together, and he thought that it would be a nice gift if we ever had sex. We never did, but thanks for the vibrator!
I was the same way. my first vibrator was a gift from my first boyfriend. We did lots of stuff up to, but not including, sex. He thought it would be nice for me to practice having orgasms before we got around to it.
We never did, but I appreciated the gesture! Sorry I left you so unsatisfied, J
I think parents shouldn't just give a child a vibrator. Technology is ruining our liiiiives! Kids these days don't have to use their fingers/pillow/edge of bed... what will they do if they run out of batteries?! They wont learn how to think for themselves... somebody please think of the children!
Oh Oprah, this is probably the first time I have ever read something about you and fist-pumped, "Hell, yeah!"
When daughter #1 was in preschool, probably about four, her teacher yanked me into the hallway and completely shamed me about how my freak of a child was humping her 'blankie' when she went to the mats for nap. I was devastated and went to the school director for guidance.
I am forever grateful for that hardcore Christian lady's response: "Good for her! God made us sexual creatures and she is embracing it. Now teach her about privacy and it can be nobodies business but her own."
Now my daughter is eleven and I am really careful about knocking before I enter her room. The other day she commented on a pretty woman on tv and I explained that it was actually a man which led into a discussion of gender and personal choices. I can only hope we stay connected and able to communicate as she finds her own path.
I love my little Jezebel and am thankful every day for being able to watch her grow. Even with the tough stuff.
Got to say that maybe Cosmopolitan magazine DOES have its place...I learned A LOT from that magazine around that age, helluva lot less awkward than asking my mom about how to locate my G spot.
Mental note to self: get Cosmo subscipt, leave lying around where 14 yo can "sneak" a peek, hence avoiding uncomfortable parenting discussion, as well as refreshing MY memory...
@traumamama: I owe never having to have "the talk" with my mom to my older sister's teen magazines. I learned everything I ever wanted to know about periods, sex, body issues, etc. from Seventeen and YM.
I think if I was a teenager today, my mom would maybe buy a me a vibrator, but probably not when I was 15 years ago. My mom's values have shifted quite a bit since we've all moved out, and is much more sex-positive than when Catholicism ruled the nest. That said, it would still be very awkward.
Also, I was reminded last week on the awesomeness that is Germany, more specifically German teen magazines. Where the first few pages are all Miley Cyrus and the like, there's an actual (informative!) sex section, which I ran hilariously through Google Translate for you:
I'm thinking Babeland or Good Vibrations gift card is the way to go with this one, 1) allows presumably underage daughter or son to select what she feels comfortable with and (most sex shops don't allow underage people in, and 2)no awkward, potentially embarrassing memories of how mom gave it to you.
One way to ensure that buying a vibrator won't inspire your daughter to be more sexually active is to explain that the boys her age will most likely NOT be able to duplicate the quality of vibrator orgasms.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
In times of need, I also own copious amounts of chocolate.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
I just think that there are parts of life that we have a right to keep private, and I might be in the minority, but I would kinda resent attempts by my parents to force themselves into every aspect of my life.
04/10/09
I think the only reason to keep sex private from your parents or resent their involvement in your sexual development is if it comes with judgment (or creepy enthusiasm). But my parents are very matter-of-fact about sex. In my house buying a vibrator is no different than buying a kid an electric toothbrush and saying "Here, in case you haven't figured it out these things are pretty useful. Takes all the guess-work out of it. Now run along and make sure you wash your hands when you're done."
04/10/09
It was a very gracious, bizarrely comforting gesture.
and we've never spoken of it, even to this day.
04/10/09
04/10/09
My first vibrator was actually a gift from my first boyfriend. We were "everything but.." together, and he thought that it would be a nice gift if we ever had sex. We never did, but thanks for the vibrator!
04/10/09
I was the same way. my first vibrator was a gift from my first boyfriend. We did lots of stuff up to, but not including, sex. He thought it would be nice for me to practice having orgasms before we got around to it.
We never did, but I appreciated the gesture! Sorry I left you so unsatisfied, J
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
When daughter #1 was in preschool, probably about four, her teacher yanked me into the hallway and completely shamed me about how my freak of a child was humping her 'blankie' when she went to the mats for nap. I was devastated and went to the school director for guidance.
I am forever grateful for that hardcore Christian lady's response: "Good for her! God made us sexual creatures and she is embracing it. Now teach her about privacy and it can be nobodies business but her own."
Now my daughter is eleven and I am really careful about knocking before I enter her room. The other day she commented on a pretty woman on tv and I explained that it was actually a man which led into a discussion of gender and personal choices. I can only hope we stay connected and able to communicate as she finds her own path.
I love my little Jezebel and am thankful every day for being able to watch her grow. Even with the tough stuff.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
Mental note to self: get Cosmo subscipt, leave lying around where 14 yo can "sneak" a peek, hence avoiding uncomfortable parenting discussion, as well as refreshing MY memory...
04/10/09
04/10/09
Also, I was reminded last week on the awesomeness that is Germany, more specifically German teen magazines. Where the first few pages are all Miley Cyrus and the like, there's an actual (informative!) sex section, which I ran hilariously through Google Translate for you:
[translate.google.com]
The whole site is AMAZING. This would be so controversial in North America.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09