• Sonia Rykiel will be H&M's next guest designer. Her first collection of lingerie will be in stores in December and her knitwear and accessories collection will be available in February. [WWD]

• Donald Fisher, founder of The Gap, died of cancer yesterday at 81. He served as the company's chief executive from 1969 to 1995 and remained chairmen until 2004. [WSJ]
• The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art will exhibit 1,100 works of art collected by Gap founders Donald and Doris Fisher, including pieces by Warhol, Lichtenstein and de Kooning. [Reuters]
• Kate Moss is joining the Performing Rights Society, which protects UK musicians and songwriters' rights. This may mean boyfriend Jamie Hince of The Kills is finally going to let her sing with him, even though he wouldn't let her perform with the band last year. [The Sun]
• "I Want To Hold Your Handbag": Comme des Garcons and Aplle Corps Ltd. are teaming up to launch a line of Beatles handbags, which will debut in November. [WWD]
• Christian Audigier is considering investing $7.3-$14.7 million in Club Med. Hopefully the deal won't include Jon Gosselin hosting anymore pool parties. [Reuters]
• Sources say Tom Ford is definitely trying to find funding to launch a women's wear collection in fall 2011. [WWD]
• Rumors that Mark Fast is doing a line for Topshop are true, according to a profile in last week's Sunday Telegraph magazine. [Fashionista]
• Agent Provocateur has made a comic book called "New World Order: Mission To Earth" featuring semi-nude caped crusaders. [Racked]
• Faith Hill Parfums is using print ads, webisodes in which Hill answers questions on the theme, "The Beauty of Being a Woman," and online discussions and polls about womanhood. [Brand Week]
• Gisele Bunchen wrote an article for The Times of London about working with Mario Testino in Rio. She writes: "If someone else asked me to do some of the things Mario does, I would say, no way. But Mario, with that clever way of his, is like, 'Ah, Gisele...' and the next thing I know, we're doing some picture with my butt sticking out. What can I do? It's hard to say no to him." [Times of London]
• Fatou Cham, a Gambian supermarket checker chosen to model for Tesco's fall advertising campaign has been arrested because she's in Britain illegally. She entered on a student visa in 1998 and never left. [Daily Mail]
• Due to the recession, raw cotton prices are expected to rise by 20 percent, which will hurt clothing retailers. [The Independent]
• Sources say Gianluca Lera is leaving Bulgari. [WWD]
• Kelly Brook modeled for an early Ralph Lauren photo shoot... sort of. She's nude and holding a bunch of hydrangeas in a strategic position. [Daily Mail]
• Gok Wan says he's grateful to Jean Paul Gaultier for developing a line of men's products, "...because if I wear women's make up, I end up looking like a ladyboy". [Times of London]
• Hermès is buying the Bond Street shop that Asprey occupies for £75m and may be planning on acquiring the entire company. [The Guardian]
• Natalia Vodianova was on the Milan catwalk for the first time in seven years on Friday, opening and closing the Ermanno Scervino show. [WWD]
• Jews aren't supposed to wear leather to synagogue on Yom Kippur as a symbol of modesty and humanity, so many have been wearing Crocs. But, an influential Lithuanian rabbi is telling Jews not to wear Crocs on the holiday because it's a day of atonement and the shoes are too comfortable. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Victoria's Secret will hold open casting calls to find a new Runway Angel for the next Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on December 1. [UPI]
• Katie Holmes says of the fashion line she's designing with Jeanne Yang, "It has been my dream forever to be in fashion and I'm truly inspired by my daughter Suri. She just loves dressing up so I decided to launch this exciting venture with Jeanne." [The Sun]
• Holmes & Yang officially launched on Thursday night at Maxfields. [WWD]
• At the event she added, "Jeanne's girls and my daughter have a point of view of what they want to wear. I'm constantly amazed by all the colors and layers that Suri will put together." [Style.com]
• Christina Binkley Tweeted: "Milan fashion week shows running late. Rumor blames Anna Wintour for introducing Roger Federer to Mr. Armani today - causing hour delay." [@BinkleyOnStyle]
• Elie Saab signed a 10-year fragrance and cosmetics licensing agreement with Beauté Prestige International, a division of Shiseido. [WWD]
• Carolina Herrera, who was born in Venezuela, became an American citizen on Friday. She said, "I have been here for many years, and I love this country very much. I love New York and everything about America. It was very emotional for me." As for the exam, "I was constantly testing people in my office... I told them, ‘With this test, you would never become a citizen,' ... Now I know more than they do." [WWD]

Unlike Holmes, my mother's insistence that a lady wore stockings (and a broadening ass) led me to mega-control-top pantyhose. They were my gateway shaping drug and from there it was easy to slide into (or wriggle, cursing, into) the leg-less shaper garments woven of the same stocking-nylon, and from there into two larger shaping garments sold in a department store. It was another way to fool myself that I didn't have to buy new clothes to fit my expanding body, I could buy a couple of pairs of quasi-underwear and everything would be fine!

Yeah, I finally got off my ass and changed my diet and exercised and lost weight, and got rid of most of that crap last year, with the exception of a couple of only minor-shaping stocking things that I wear only when a thong would show (think: satin cocktail dress).

Recently, though, like Holmes, I had a new dress that I had to get into — I mean, it fit, but it was satin, and there was little room for error (some of my minor errors have been creeping back up on me the last couple of months). The problem was that, like many women, much of the night would be spent sitting. Holmes identifies two problems with this:

Watch out for the ones with waistbands that start at your ribcage - they will gradually roll down to your waist. Before you know it, you've got your very own Fern Britton gastric band. Your bottom half will slowly start bloating à la Violet Beauregarde, the gum-chewing human blueberry from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except - and this is a key point - you're so tightly wrapped that there's nowhere for the gas to go.

This is, after all, the problem with the legless-stocking variety — the more it sucks in what it needs to suck in, the more likely it is to create a new bulge, or roll down in a fail of the epic variety. So, like Holmes, on the hunt I went.

What Holmes fails to describe is the humiliation of trying to squeeze yourself into one of these garments — there's pulling and then yanking, re-adjusting, more pulling. If I hadn't been trying them on in a store I would have been tempted to coat myself in baby powder first. Nonetheless, once you get one on, dress or no dress, you've got to contemplate yourself in a bodystocking in a mirror.

Eliminating bulges is control pants' raison d'être. This, then, is probably the most important question of the lot. First up is the worst offender: the Trinny and Susannah thong. My boyfriend's reaction sums up these exceptionally ugly pants nicely: "What have you done to your bottom? It looks like a shelf. Can I put my cup of tea on it?" Not exactly the desired response.

The Spanx and M&S pants go right up to your chest and a little way down your legs, so you're seamless and bulge-free along your entire mid-section (sort of like a sausage).

This was also my experience, as I can only imagine what would possess someone to try on a sucky-inny thong.

In the end, like Holmes, I came down on the side of Spanx — despite the fact that one pair cost nearly what my dress did — but, I'll admit, this purple jobbie from Gok Wan's lingerie line would have held some fascination for me, too. Like Bridget Jones before us, though, there is one pitfall to wearing these out with the kind of dress that might get you laid.

It's more than possible that you could find yourself in a bedroom scene while wearing control pants. I tested how quickly the different versions could be whipped off in the dark, with 'hilarious' results (if you find severe bruising funny). Pitfalls include the tangling of control pant and tights, resulting in futile tugging, hopping, and eventual collapse.

So, I guess there's a benefit to getting comfortable with your bulges after all — or at least not buying satin dresses when you think you need them.

Control Freak [The Guardian]

Earlier: To Hose, Or Not To Hose? That Is The Question

• Is Gossip Girl pretty boy Chace Crawford set to replace McDreamy as the face of Versace? [Perez Hilton]
• Fashion slang seems to have no regard for a word's actual meaning: "Designer Ashleigh Verrier said her favorite fashion word was "diaphanous" — an adjective characterizing fineness of texture. 'As in, 'That dress is so diaphanous!'' she said. 'I like 'Glamit'," said fashion designer Marc Bouwer, who uses the term for a fashion line. 'It is so gorgeous and glamorous. You don't want to use cliched words.'Designer Thuy Diep said 'prune"'was popular within her fashion crew to express disapproval." [Reuters]
• Vogue-interning hockey playing fashionisto Sean Avery on who should play him in the rumored movie about him: "'Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, man. I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno I dunno. Fuck. I dunno!...I don't know anything. That's what casting guys are for! Shit. No questions!'" Sounds like that'll be some sparkling dialogue! [Radar]

• This is like telling us the Earth is flat! An "expert in visual perception" claims that vertical stripes are actually unflattering! Prune! [Guardian]
• As if her life was not sufficiently charmed, stunning editrice spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is now art-directing! "Casting fellow model and brother Vladimir as the male lead, Restoin-Roitfeld art-directed the campaign from start to finish. The result is a super-sexy music-inspired campaign that lends Rock & Republic's image rock and roll cool." [Daily Mail]
• Eva Mendes is feeling her banned CK ad: "It’s very rock ’n’ roll; I kind of like it. I want to do more. I want keep pushing the envelope.” [WWD]
• Apparently "pushing the envelope" means working on a home decor line with Macy's. "The line, created with Mendes' boyfriend, film producer George Augusto, will be called "Vida" and will initially feature five bedding styles." [Crains]
• High-street brands making token (read: "almost no") effort to improve the conditions of overseas manufacturing. [Guardian]
• More on the kinda heartbreaking Sears Fashion Week tent. [AdAge]
• Embattled retailer Steve & Barry's now getting sinister emails from a supplier: "When customers 'happily shop' at the chain, 'they are actually buying clothes … soaking of blood and tears of worldwide vendors,' one e-mail read." [NYT via a href="http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/12/supplier-has-harsh-words-for-steve-barrys/>The Post]
• In honor of fashion week, Luca Luca executives will ring in the closing bell of the NASDAQ Stock Market. Brokers will almost certainly not care. [WWD]
• After years of giving it short shrift, Calvin Klein focuses on high-end collections again. [WSJ]
• Teen spending down. [Portfolio]
• Gok Wan (the British Carson Kressley) on his idols: "Sarah Jessica Parker - she has amazing style, and when I saw her and Vivienne Westwood [another one of Gok’s favourites] on the red carpet at the same time, I didn’t know whether to throw up or fart - I was so excited!" Why not do both? [Mirror]
• Albino model Shaun Ross breaks the mold. [NYT]
• Things are looking gloomy for French Connection. Has FCUK had its day? [FT]
• Fashion minions give the Nuclear Wintour a piece of their minds - okay, anonymously. "Painter Geoffrey Raymond hawked his portrait of Wintour, dubbed The Annotated Anna, to Bryant Park and asked fashionistas to write a message to Wintour on the canvas. Comments ranged from 'Scaaary!'‚ to the more flattering 'You look great without the sunglasses"' Raymond plans to sell the painting on eBay, with a starting bid of $3,500." Wait, that's the best they can do? Pass that thing around Jezebel! [The First Post]
• This pleases us: fashionistas waiting on line get into the Target "pop-up bodegas." [WWD]
• Tory Burch seeks outside investors for her boho-country club empire. [WSJ]