Hundreds of Hungry Sea Lion Pups Wash Up on California Beaches

Since January, over 1,450 sea lions have been found stranded on California beaches, crowding rescue centers past capacity and worrying animal experts, The New York Times reports. According to researchers, this is 5 times greater than the historical average. » 3/15/15 11:19am 3/15/15 11:19am

Fuck a Coat; Wear a Tent

On Sunday evening, the temperature in New York City was something like 3 degrees, not factoring wind chill. Factoring wind chill, the temperature was "Fuck You I'm Not Leaving My Apartment." » 2/17/15 1:50pm 2/17/15 1:50pm

The Polar Vortex Is Coming Back Next Week

After giving us an exceedingly cold and snowy winter, the Weather Gods are blessing Chicago and other parts of the Midwest/Northeast with unseasonably cool weather later this week. Think mild and pleasant mid-September temperatures, rather than hot and humid mid-July ones. » 7/14/14 5:20pm 7/14/14 5:20pm

Welcome Global Warming in This Sexy Innertube Dress

It's fucking hot, and you want to get in the water right now? Well, this inflatable dress will cool you off in style — and you can probably even use it to masturbate, too. Both Gary Busey and this guy would be proud.* » 7/18/13 11:30pm 7/18/13 11:30pm

It's Not Helpful To Think Of Saving The Earth As Woman's Maternal Duty

I hope that everyone is enjoying Earth Day while they still can — please take a moment to appreciate the glories of nature before climate change reduces our planet to a desolate Water World littered with the bloated corpses of drowned polar bears. This is an issue about which it's easy to feel despondent, seeing as… » 4/22/13 7:00pm 4/22/13 7:00pm

NO HEADLINE

When I step into the voting booth, I think about the world I want to leave my two daughters, and the values that are required to guide us there. The two parties' nominees for president offer different visions of where they want to lead America.

One believes a woman's right to choose should be protected for future…

» 11/01/12 5:45pm 11/01/12 5:45pm

How to Dress for Extreme Weather

Global warming isn't happening, you guys! That's why Colorado's on fire and the rest of the country is roughly the temperature of the inside of an Easy Bake oven, and the parts that aren't on hot or in flames are being rained on with the force of a peeing god who drank a Big Gulp during the first half hour of Magic… » 7/02/12 7:00pm 7/02/12 7:00pm

Global Warming Makes Maple Syrup 'Yucky,' Ruins Breakfasts Everywhere

Global warming is probably going to mess up any number of really important things on the planet, but it appears one of its most delicious casualties so far is maple syrup. This year's record warmth in March cut short the six-week-long sap gathering season in the northeast, where most of the country's maple syrup is… » 5/16/12 11:00pm 5/16/12 11:00pm

Finally, a Real Reason to Cry Over Spilled Milk

It has been drilled into us since childhood that there's no use crying over spilled milk, but it turns out that spilled milk—specifically milk wasted by people who buy it and don't use it—has a real effect on the environment. Scientists found that the milk poured down the drains of UK's residents has the same carbon… » 5/15/12 10:25am 5/15/12 10:25am

Adorable Space Census of Penguins Shows that there Are a Lot of Penguins

While you were flouting your civic duties by letting your census packet languish on your coffee table, Antarctica's dutiful emperor penguins waddled around the ice in a more or less organized group so that a satellite could take their picture and scientists could count them. The results of this new penguin census are… » 4/14/12 11:30am 4/14/12 11:30am

Eerily Gorgeous Weather Finally Convinces People That Global Warming is…

You may have noticed that it's really, really nice out! And after only a few measly inches of snow this "winter," too. Hmmm...warm winter...really warm spring...wait...NOW I GET IT. » 3/21/12 7:00pm 3/21/12 7:00pm

Kristen Wiig Has A Solution For Global Warming

In Funny Or Die's latest, Saturday Night Live and Bridesmaids star Kristen Wiig thinks she has the solution to stop Global Warming, and all she needs are celebrities willing to hold their breath. If that doesn't work, she advises these four words: "International celebrity car wash." We're in! As long as she doesn't… » 11/18/11 12:00pm 11/18/11 12:00pm

Starbucks Terrified Climate Change Will Put Them Out Of Business

For those of you who haven't yet found a reason to be worried about the effects of climate change, maybe this will work. » 10/16/11 4:55pm 10/16/11 4:55pm

Why Global Warming Is Creating Miniature Animals And How That Could…

It may sound adorable at first, but if the climate shift is making animals smaller, it changes the foods they can eat and what can prey on them, thus producing "all sorts of unpredictable knock-on effects in the ecosystem." » 9/24/11 6:05pm 9/24/11 6:05pm

Nursery Rhymes, The Jezebel Way

The Advertising Standards Authority has rebuked the British government for two posters which use nursery rhymes to make exaggerated claims about global warming. Since warning kids through hysteria is fun, I decided to write a few others. » 3/15/10 6:20pm 3/15/10 6:20pm

30% Less Meat Healthier For Hearts, Planet

In industrialized countries, cutting meat consumption by just 30% would not only reduce greenhouse gases but also cut heart disease deaths by 17%. Tofurky, anyone? [Reuters] » 11/25/09 6:20pm 11/25/09 6:20pm

Superfreakonomics: Not That Super Or Freaky

Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, authors of Superfreakonomics, cast themselves as iconoclastic contrarians. But in many ways, their book is actually pretty conventional. » 11/04/09 2:20pm 11/04/09 2:20pm