The Observer blames the bootie on Los Angeles, and advises that the optimal look for the season is one "that make you look like a sexy Martian." They add that, "we love ankle boots, hopeful shoes for hopeful times." Ankle boots themselves are inoffensive enough, of course. But the openworked, studded, bejeweled, toe-baring monstrosities stalking our streets today are to the utilitarian ankle boot what A.N. Roquelaure is to Anne Rice: a scary and unfamiliar mutation.

It's not just that every single shoe out there is a hideous object, some kind of kinetic wire sculpture ripoff, but they're also unflattering (foreshortening the leg) and impractical (open-toed boots, anyone?) How many times lately have we scanned a lovely gown on the red carpet, only to find our eyes accosted by some sinister melange of patent and buckles advancing up the leg? We are all used to senseless trends, but the scale and scope of this one is alarming. Whether it's a defiant nod to frivolity in straitened circumstances or a symbolic appropriation of the zeitgeist's ugliness (Weimar-style), is beyond my powers to say. But this I can say, and will say: please, I beg of you, make it stop.

Shake Your Booties, Ladies! Go-Go Shoe Is a Go-To [New York Observer]

• The body of former model Katoucha Niane, one of the first major black models, has been found in the Seine river, in Paris. Missing since January, she lived in a houseboat and is presumed to have fallen off after a night of partying and drinking. Her career highlights included walking for Thierry Mugler, Paco Rabanne, Lacroix and serving as a muse to Yves Saint Laurent himself. [AP]
  
• Tom Brady is rumored to be the next face (well, chest) of Calvin Klein underwear. [Page Six]
  
• The BCBG Max Azria Group: 100% fur-free starting with its Spring 2009 collections. This is a huge sacrifice for them since BCBG has always been sooooo closely associated with fur coats, so don't forget to spend more money next time you're there! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Rag Trade quote of the day: "Any woman over 40 has extra flesh here and here. I never hesitate to say to Alber [Elbaz, Lanvin's designer], 'Think of older women!'" Lanvin chairwoman Shaw-Lan Chu-Wang. [WSJ]

• Halle Berry is doing a fragrance deal with the sophisticated likes of Coty. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Why is Fendi excited that its new Paris flagship store has a courtyard? So that they can stage fur fashion shows there during couture season. Are you reading, Ingrid Newkirk? [WWD, sub req'd]
• In other Fendi news: Amy Winehouse is performing at the party for the store tonight. [WWD, 1st item]
• Twiggy's daughter is an assistant designer at Stella McCartney. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Julia Restoin-Roitfeld was given free clothes straight off the motherfucking runway by Givenchy. Because we all know she's truly a girl in need. [Fashion Week Daily, 6th item]
• Armani and Chanel are in the tennis racket business now. [Sassybella]
• Lutz & Patmos is doing a more "affordable" secondary line called Leroy & Perry. T-shirts retail for $300. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The Gap's key to success: shutting stores. [WWD, sub req'd]
• New Zealand: has a fashion industry?! [Economist]
• Shocker: Nicole Richie wears hair extensions. [BellaSugar]

[Santa Monica, January 14. Image via Flynet.]