• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel: Photographed holding hands on Monday. A source says they've been vacationing together in Santa Barbara; As for Justin and Rihanna?

They're just "working on a track together." [Page Six]

• Mariah Carey stumbled coming out of a restaurant late at night, but was she drunk? Or just wearing 7-inch Louboutins? [Page Six]
• Harvard kids: Stalked Emma Watson when she came for a football game; thought it was hilarious. [Page Six]
• A whole column of unsolicited uterus updates! Kate Hudson: Not pregnant. Halle Berry: Not pregnant ("I've got to stop with the burgers or something!"). Penelope Cruz: asked if she was pregnant, but "answered no — in a rather baroque, roundabout way." [Gatecrasher]
• This column calls Britney Spears' new track, "3," "maddeningly repetitive." [NY Daily News]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson keep being seen in public together, because ZOMG Twilight is real. [People]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have been writing cutesy notes to each other on Facebook. A sample: "Love you too innit and vairvair proud of youse, know dis lioness civilishous. X" [The Sun]
• Add Penelope Cruz, Harrison Ford, Gael Garcia Bernal and Natalie Portman to the list of people crying "Free Roman Polanski." [Shakesville]
• "John Travolta testified Wednesday that would-be extortionists threatened to go the media with stories implying 'the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable somehow.'" [CNN]
• Kate Gosselin thinks Jon Gosselin's divorce delay is a publicity stunt; I think it has to do with making sure any TLC cash gets split up properly. [MSNBC via Radar Online]
• Wait, what?!?! "Jon Gosselin has put TLC, the cable network behind Jon & Kate Plus 8, on notice to 'cease and desist' any television production of the show and leave his property." [ET]
• Miley Cyrus has a sore throat. Will she be able to do her concert dates? [Mirror]
• Randy and Evi Quaid — who were accused of ditching a $10,000 bill at the San Ysidro Ranch — claim they never got the bill because they moved. They have now paid. [TMZ]
• Kevin Federline: Gaining weight on purpose, so he can get ready for Celebrity Fit Club. A source says: "He thinks that if he goes on the show, loses a ton of weight, and seems really likeable, he'll get more deals afterward." Probably true. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Melissa Ethereridge played on an airplane — 10,000 feet in the air — to help raise money for The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Looks like he peeps in her audience were wearing pink! [People]
• GLAAD likes Glee. So do I! [NY Daily News]
• Jermaine Jackson is going to judge a new BBC talent show called Move Like Michael Jackson. Too soon? [Reuters]
• Joe Francis might lose his house — over a gambling debt. YAWN. [TMZ]
• Alyssa Milano thinks $3 is too much to pay for a Twitter iPhone app; the "iPhone developer community" is amused, yet angry. [Business Insider]
• In a battle between Jay-Z and Fat Joe, Jigga wins. [Page Six]
• Conan O'Brien is sorta banned from Newark Airport. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks after giving birth, Ellen Pompeo hit a sneaker party in L.A. and announced: "I feel great." [People]
• Congrats to Will Ferrell and his wife, who are expecting their third child. [People]
• Mindy McCready, who was on Celebrity Rehab with Mackenzie Phillips, says she "absolutely" believes that Phillips had an incestuous relationship with her father and "Nobody has the right to say what they do or don't believe unless they know her." [UPI]
• Kevin Dillon: Seen flirting with women who were not his wife. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty will be on trial in December after being charged with driving a car erratically over the summer. This story notes: "He has yet to plead to a charge of being over the legal alcohol limit while at the wheel." [Reuters]
• Male model Jamie Burke, Mark Ronson, Milla Jovovich, Simon Le Bon and Marion Cotillard are covering the song "Beds Are Burning"for the Time for Climate Justice campaign. [Page Six]
• "Former INXS and Noiseworks frontman Jon Stevens' condition has "deteriorated" nearly three weeks after emergency heart surgery." [News.com.au]
• Get well soon, Dennis Hopper. [Page Six]
• "It drives me crazy… It's just very hard to get a day's work done and concentrate." — Sarah Jessica Parker, on filming SATC on the streets of NYC with mobs of fans. [NY Daily News]
• "Honestly, I never thought I'd live this long. I always thought that I wouldn't be here at this point. I was thinking, 'Okay, I've got another year of my life left. This has got to be the end of it. Finally, [Nick] was like, "Stop talking like that." — Mariah Carey. [NY Daily News via In Touch]
• "I mean, a zombie movie? Come on. There are good zombie movies -I Am Legend and 28 Days Later- but those are the exceptions. Then I read it and I was absolutely knocked out. I thought it was just so funny and compelling." —Woody Harrelson, on Zombieland. [USA Today]
• "I always sort of cringe when people say, you're that creepy guy. Sinister I can live with, that's fine. But creepy is like someone you wouldn't sit next to at a diner. I'm probably being sensitive about it." — Michael Emerson, aka Lost's Ben Linus. [MSNBC via PopEater]
• "I'm a parent, but I always considered that slightly separate from my work. And, suddenly, I'm reading this script that really explores parenting. I felt very involved with it, because I've got two young girls and I could relate to an awful lot of it. Often, I find family movies a little cute and not very real. This felt honest." — Clive Owen on new film The Boys Are Back. [USA Today]
• TOC: You've also said, "I related to a girl who, against all odds, finds her inner strength and believes she can do what boys do." Have you felt yourself working against the odds in a Hollywood boys' club? "No, I really don't, and I actually find those women-I'm like, get that bitter, ugly, unattractive chip off your shoulder. I'm doing what any guy could be doing, and I don't do it by needing to wear a power suit. Women have made incredible strides; we're in a really balanced or better-balanced culture, and we should be celebrating that…rather than, like, 'Oh, men have all the power.' I'm like, 'Oh, boo-hoo, shut up, make it happen for yourself and get over it.'" — Drew Barrymore. [Time Out Chicago]

• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

"It was quite romantic. We were joking about it: 'We might as well make this real. Keep everybody happy.'" As Gerard slipped the ring on Jen's finger, his phone rang. It was his mother. "I have to call you back. I'm getting married," Butler deadpanned — on speakerphone, so the crew could hear. "She goes, 'What?' " Butler clarified: " 'I'm marrying Jennifer Aniston!' and she's like: 'Oh, good. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice.'" [USA Today]

• Lindsay Lohan feels "scared" and "violated" after the break in at her Hollywood Hills home. She Tweeted: "I know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me. It really makes me sad, and well, obviously-scared. :( and I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit... my life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into and i feel really violated." [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: The "real reason" Lindsay is upset about someone stealing the safe from her house? She had some "very incriminating" videos, photos and legal documents inside. Will they go public? [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Oh Lord. Britney Spears is "still madly in love" with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she dated for a few months early last year. Notes this column: "The pap-turned-celebrity-by-association was later charged with assault, hit-and-run and battery stemming from an incident in which he allegedly attempted to run over a court official who was trying to serve a restraining order on him." A catch! [Fox News]
• Britney has been catching shows while in New York: Wicked and The Little Mermaid, for instance. But her lawyer Larry Rudolph is with her, not alleged boyfriend/manager Jason Trawick. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett went to the Britney Spears concert in NYC and reports: "When Spears wasn't changing from one fabric swatch to another, her time onstage could be summed up in one word: walking. There was walking from one side of the stage to the other. There was walking from one backup dancer so she could be flung toward another. Sometimes you could find Spears walking to a cage, entering and having another person push it, so the cage could do the walking for her." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The 53-year-old man charged with stalking Miley Cyrus told an investigator he planned on visiting her movie set and "finishing things." [AP]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are accusing each other of financial deception. Prediction: It will get uglier than an Ed Hardy T-shirt. [Radar Online]
• The real reason Kate called the cops on Jon recently? She heard Jon was going out drinking and leaving the kids with babysitter Stephanie Santoro. [Radar Online]
• Jon was spotted wearing a shirt with the words "Lies lies lies lies." [Gatecrasher]
• On August 13, Jon and Kate's plus 8 — the children — staged a rebellion, refusing to be videotaped for the show. "The kids staged a sit-in — a revolt," Jon tells Life & Style. "They didn't want to work." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now it comes out: Documents released by the court show that Chris Brown and Rihanna had a history of violence. She had slapped him during an argument three months before the February incident in which he assaulted her; his response was to shove her into a wall. A second fight, in January, involved an argument inside of an SUV in Barbados. Chris Brown "exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car. No one was injured during the incident." [People, TMZ]
• Before Chris Brown was sentenced, his record label CEO, a lawyer who has worked with Oprah and Brown's pastor all wrote letters to the judge. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has been "depressed" since the assault on Rihanna. [TMZ]
• Court documents also show that in June, Chris Brown said that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" about the Rihanna beating. He wanted to plead guilty, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, would not let him. Brown also told probation officers that he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and "do it right." [TMZ]
• An official transcript of the incident between Chris and Rihanna is at the link; it is detailed and disturbing. Just a snippet: "As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand…
  [Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'" [TMZ]
• Kari Ann Peniche, whom you may have seen topless in Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane's nude video, says that she is a sex addict but not a madam. She says her hard drive has pictures of reputed madams because she once wrote a college paper about prostitution. She also says: "My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'" [E!]
• Six words: Neal Patrick Harris on American Idol. [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got together during the pilot of True Blood, but kept it very quiet. Costar Carrie Preston says: "They were very cool and professional about it." [People]
• John Mayer and Taylor Swift will be making music together, and that is not a euphemism. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé has been named Billboard's Woman of The Year. [AP]
• Paula Abdul has gotten the boot from Ugly Betty "over her outrageous demands" — including a private jet. This report claims she will host a VH1 show called Divas instead and Kristen Johnston will take Paula's part on Ugly Betty. [The Sun]
• Danielle Staub from Real Housewives Of New Jersey needs a cover shot for her upcoming memoir, and is trying to get photographers to take a picture of her for free. A source says, "It's embarrasing and tacky!" [Gatecraasher]
• A "skripper" pal of Amber Rose claims that she got illegal injections from a "hood doctor" to make her butt bigger. [Media Takeout]
• Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend have broken up. But as you may know, her boyfriend is Ted Harbert, CEO of Comcast, aka her boss. He's moved out of the house and into a hotel. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis is facing a criminal trial, and his defense team will try to legitimize Joe by linking the Girls Gone Wild mastermind to stars like Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn and Jack Nicholson. Too bad Jen's name is misspelled in the presentation slide. [The Smoking Gun]
• Curious about Martina Navratilova's love life? Want to see the word "galimony" used in a sentence? Click the link! [Page Six]
• A&E is planning a reality series about the Jackson brothers. The network had already ordered a show before Michael Jackson died, but now the series will be expanded and focus on the band as they reunite as brothers — "underneath a cloud of tragedy." [NY Times]
• Comedy Central has been doing research on its fans and finds that viewers say that "people think I'm cool because I watch" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. [NY Times]
• Drag performer Erickatoure Aviance went to a taping of the Wendy Williams show, but was told that she could not appear on camera or ask any questions because she was "in violation of the no-costumes dress code." Aviance said: "This is not a costume." And someone connected with the show said: "Well, it's a costume to us. We don't want the show to turn into Let's Make a Deal, where everyone comes in crazy costumes." Aviance was stunned: "So you're comparing me to a man in a gorilla suit?" Aviance notes: "I was wearing a ponytail piece and a bang piece. It was much less hair than Wendy was wearing and, p.s., much less hair than any of the other black women in the audience." Now Lonnie Burstein, the VP of the company behind the show, has issued an apology to Aviance and to GLAAD. [Advocate, Advocate]
• Susan Sarandon: Joining the cast of Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, has signed a reality show deal — brokered by his dad, Ryan O'Neal — that will chronicle hus strugle with addiction. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Eddie Cibrian and Wife 'Both Happy'...Now That They're Getting Divorced." [E!]
• The Who's Pete Townshend has written a new musical, Floss, about the aging process. It's like, "Tommy can you hear me? Turn up your hearing aid!" [AP]
• Whatshername's new boyfriend tells her he loves her 50 million times a day, which seems excessive. [Daily Mail]
• "It was exhilaratingly humiliating. But I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress. Vanity quickly set in, and I thought to myself, 'I wish my belly was flatter.' Let's face it, I don't look great in a dress, but it's nice to hear I have nice legs." — Liev Schreiber on playing a transvestite in Taking Woodstock. Click for pic! [People]
• "The Runaways is absolutely not a biopic. It's not fact-for-fact. What they did was basically take elements from the Runaways story and created a parallel narrative. We're hoping it will be great. They exceeded our expectations with the casting. ... Even if it's not a huge movie, it's going to have a colossal effect on young girls playing rock 'n' roll, for sure. Kristen [Stewart] was so into it, into the whole vibe of doing this. I think she felt a weight and a responsibility to interpret it correctly. She was really serious about it and was watching me and asking me all sorts of question, from speech aspects to watching my body language, watching where I stood, watching my guitar playing. She really worked hard to get it right." — Joan Jett. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "Everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. People don't just break up [in the films] – they break up and it literally kills you. It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?' My favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], 'It's him; it's always been him!' Yeah, it killed me. It killed me." — New Moon star Kristen Stewart. [People]
• "I do get men trying to pick me up and it's funny because a year ago, when I was dressing like this, with a very avant-garde fashion sense, I think I intimidated men much more. It was funny the other day when I was wearing my cone head and this radio DJ was saying, 'Oh you're so sexy', when the mic was off. I thought, 'I can't believe that after a whole year, they finally think my cone head is sexy." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been checking out a gorgeous building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Will they move the brood to New York? [Rush & Molloy]

• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have been spending time together, and Jesus Luz is unhappy. [Daily Mail]
• GLAAD president Jarrett Barrios says of a scene in Brüno showing an infant and two naked men involved in a sex act "doesn't help America understand the hundreds of thousands of gay families who get up every day, do the carpool then rush home to make dinner and be with their children." [USA Today]
• Another lawsuit for Brüno: A woman who got into a physical altercation with Sacha Baron Cohen at a bingo game (in a scene that didn't make the film) first sued for getting injured; now she is suing for "emotional distress." [E!]
• Please take a moment to read this interview between Daniel Radcliffe and an 11-year-old reporter. It is so very intensely awesome. [NY Mag]
• By the by, Daniel Radcliffe is worth £30 million; Emma Watson is worth £12 million; and Rupert Grint is worth £7 million. Buys a lot of treats in Diagon Alley! [Mirror]
• Emma Watson on former Harry Potter costar Robert Pattinson: "We're just friends." [Gatecrasher]
• Oh, and Robert Pattinson's ex-girlfriend is spilling that the sparkle vamp was "always amazing in bed." [ONTD]
• Wha?? Jon Gosselin and new girlfriend Hailey Glassman are in St. Tropez? And Shes the daughter of the doctor who did his wife's tummy tuck? And they've been hanging out on on fashion designer Christian Audigier's yacht?!?! [NY Daily News]
• Members of Parliament have received an apology from Mia Farrow after a "rogue fan" spent weeks flooding their fax machines with human rights and save Darfur information from Farrow's website. [Guardian]
• Gwyneth Paltrow hearts Spain! She and husband Chris Martin may build a home there, and there's now a Spanish version of Goop. [Daily Mail]
• Victoria Beckham wants a Sex And The City sequel cameo? Party like it's 1999! [NY Daily News, Elle UK]
• Aw: Step Up's Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got married in Mailbu on Saturday! No doubt that the dancing at the reception was intense. [UPI]
• "At 38 (she turns 39 in September), [Padma] Lakshmi has a beauty that is not, perhaps, as bewitching as reports would have had me believe…" [Times of London]
• Ryan Reynolds is the first choice to play Green Lantern, beating out Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto and Justin Timberlake. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Michael Jackson-related magazines are flying off the newsstands; experts are calling it the biggest newsstand push since the election. [Folio]
• A&E had commissioned a one-hour special, The Jackson Family, which followed Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy. They finished shooting before Michael died, and the question is: Now what? [Reuters]
• The LAPD and the coroner are both targeting Dr. Conrad Murray, finding evidence linking him to the drug that may have killed Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• La Toya Jackson believes Michael was murdered. [NY Post]
• This report claims that Katherine Jackson will have custody of Michael Jackson's kids; Debbie Rowe will have regular access and Joe Jackson will be kept away from them. [Mirror]
• "Debbie Rowe frequently injected Michael Jackson with drugs while she worked for Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein." [TMZ]
• More pill/drug allegations. [TMZ, TMZ, The Daily Beast]
• Here's a claim that Joe Jackson wants to take Michael's kids on a world tour as the Jackson 3. [The Sun]
• Debbie Rowe will attend a custody hearing on July 20. [UPI]
• Michael Jackson's former nanny Grace Rwaramba was obsessed with Michael Jackson in high school, with references to him in hew yearbook. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson had a way of picking doctors who became such close friends with him that the doctor-patient distinction became blurred." [TMZ]
• "Jackson Targeted Dentists to Fuel Addiction." [TMZ]
• Some guy named Jack Wishna, who was orchestrating a deal with Michael Jackson to set up a Las Vegas residency, says that MJ was "thin and weak" and could not have put on shows. Wishna also says MJ "never never, never" wanted to go back to Neverland. "My thought is if someone buries him in Neverland he will come up out of the ground like in Thriller and strangle them," Wishna says. [E!]
• At the link, Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt discuss love, relationships and their new flick, 500 Days Of Summer, which is getting great buzz. [USA Today]
• Is Amy Winehouse finally growing tired of St. Lucia? How can you get weary of living in paradise? Should we fly there and conduct an experiment? [Daily Express]
• Oh: Amy Winehouse arrived in London from St. Lucia and promptly burst into tears. [Daily Mail]
• CNN: You were involved in the season finale of [the NBC program] 30 Rock. Are you a fan?
  Moby: Yeah. I got a call asking if I wanted to be a part of the season finale. And I didn't have to think. ... If they had said, "Would you like to come and clean the toilets on set?" I would've said yes. [CNN]
• Barbra Streisand talks global warming and environmental urgency. [Politico]
• Kim Cattrall found out that her grandfather was a bigamist and feels "terribly sad" and can't forgive him. [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey' s "Lost Footage" episode: "Just really enjoyable and fun to watch!" [E!]
• Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child: Playing Roxie Hart in Chicago in London. [Independent]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks has picked a dress for her October wedding: "I'm wearing Carolina Herrera. It was the first dress I tried on and it was magnificent." But don't expect the nuptials to be Mad Men-filled — t will be mostly friends and family. [People]
• Remember Anna Chlumsky from My Girl? After dabbling in politics, writing and editing, she's back to acting. [WWD]
• More drama for Whatshername and Whatshis name. [The Sun]
• Al Pacino, Susan Sarandon and John Goodman will star in HBO Films' biopic about Dr. Jack Kevorkian. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Blind item! "Which lazy actor hired someone to do his college homework? Learning apparently does not do a body good." [Gatecrasher]
• "She's been public as well about her extensive plastic surgery-her breast implants, her Botox injections, and her liposuction-and wears wigs so luxurious they are more landscaped than styled. Her own past drug addiction has been some of the richest fodder for her books and radio show." — from a profile on Wendy Williams. [The Daily Beast]
• In this charming interview, Paul Giamatti describes what people's souls would look like: "I'd like to try Willie Nelson's soul for a day. It would be like an ear of roasted corn. And I go to Dolly Parton, for some reason-her soul would be light and airy, like a hummingbird. Yes, I like the idea of having a country singer's soul. But not Merle Haggard's-it'd be an engine block. Powerful, but kind of rusty, with lots of buildup." His own soul? "I'm seeing a hand-painted ceramic toad." [The New Yorker]
• "Everyone says, 'Oh, it's fake, it's fake. But I can tell you from personal experience that it's not. Some of the things, maybe they will produce it a certain way or whatever, but what actually goes down with all the people that I film with is real." — Brody Jenner's girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, on The Hills [E!]
• "When I got my breast cancer diagnosis [in 2004] and realized that my body was out of balance, I started to look at what it needed to be in balance: good food, whole food. I started looking at the environment around me - and I realized we need similar ingredients to make our earth bodies run. We have neglected what it takes to make the earth run. When I got involved in Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, I really began to educate myself. I realized I couldn't keep walking down the path of, 'I can put anything I want into my stomach, and I'm going to live forever.' That's not going to work, nor will it for the Earth." — Melissa Etheridge. [Politico]
• "The reason I joined [Twitter] is because Rob Thomas found my wife on Twitter and they started talking. I didn't really appreciate that so much. So I called Rob. I was like, 'Dude, I hear you're tweeting my wife. So now I'm joining just so I can monitor your conversations.' It was all in good fun." — Chris Daughtry. [newsweek]
• I'm thinking Season 6: "Rescue Me 3-D." Why not? What show is going to be better for 3-D? A show where you're running through a fire, you're up on a giant ladder, you're racing through a fire… You get the regular viewers plus people who are going, 'What? 3-D fires?' You feel like your own living room is on fire! I don't know if that's a good way to sell it." — Denis Leary. [LA Times]
• "It's unprofessional in my eyes. In every soccer player's eyes throughout the world it would be unprofessional to speak out about a teammate especially in the press and not to your face. But I'm going to turn it on a positive spin because that's what this needs. But in 17 years, I have played with the biggest teams in the world and the biggest players and not once have I been criticized for my professionalism. It's important to get this cleared up and I will be speaking to Landon either this evening or over the next couple of days." — David Beckham, who is miffed that his L.A. Galaxy teammate Landon Donovan who called him a bad captain and portrayed him as stingy in upcoming book The Beckham Experiment, written by Grant Wahl. [AP]
• "I trim, but I don't shave. I think it could get pretty gruesome after a while - I mean, my beard is pretty nasty. I happen to be one of those men - uh, I like to bring it in a little closer to the body." — Kelsey Grammer, on manscaping. [NY Mag]
• "Confessions of a Shopaholic was fun, but it was bloody hard work. In Adam, the script was solid; Confessions literally changed day by day, line by line. It was a Disney–Jerry Bruckheimer film, and there were a lot of cooks, which became incredibly frustrating… I had to do detailed and specific work about [my character in Adam] so he didn't end up being a series of quirks. When I initially read that first bit of script, I thought, Jesus, I hope this isn't one of those scripts where it turns out he's just a little off, but he's kind of wonderful and is going to teach us how to be better and more simple people. Because I kind of hate that." — Hugh Dancy, who plays a man with Asperger's in new movie Adam. [NY Mag]
• "I'm high and clean and tight, man. It's good to feel hungry. If you keep filling your tank when it's three-quarters empty, you're gonna run on old fuel. So you gotta drive it down to empty and let it work. I came here to press a little reset and then head back down the road." — Matthew McConaughey, on his 10-day fast. [Times of London]
• "'Was I terrified [of becoming stepmother to three children]? Not at all. Actors are the biggest babies on the planet, and I would rather be in a kindergarten than a room full of actors." — Sandra Bullock. [Daily Mail]

Perez says he called Will.I.Am a faggot during an altercation because it "was the worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear." GLAAD's Rashad Robinson responds,

For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes.

Robinson's absolutely right, and we applaud everyone who's criticizing Perez for using a slur in a decidedly non-reclaiming way. However, Perez has also spent his entire career dehumanizing women by exploiting sexist attitudes — with little repercussions. We used to tackle his bullshit in Missdemeanors, but that's on hiatus, so Intern Katy looked through Perez's posts from the last seven days and came up with these examples of his crimes against womanity:

• Calling Katie Price old, and an alcoholic: "The former glamor model pAArtied the night away at Boho nightclub in a gold lamé onesie, looking like the hot mess of the century. Remember: you're 31, not 21!"
• Calling Nicole Kidman old, and a ho: "The ice queen turns 60 today, and in celebration of her natal feat day, check out THIS pHOto gallery of the Botox beauty." Capitalizing letters to say rude things is so witty — if you're in eighth grade.
• Mocking Brooke Hogan (and, implicitly, Britney): "What's the first thing a famewhore does when she goes to Los Angeles? Hunt for paparazzi on Robertson! Shop at Kiston! Show some vadge!"
• Describing LeAnn Rimes as a "homewrecking ho" (what, no HOmewrecking?) and a "country hoochie." He also draws a big X over her face, thus stooping to second-grade wit levels.
• Blaming Aubrey O'Day for getting robbed, and she is a "dumb blonde" who had the nerve to enter an alleyway.

And Katy says this has been a pretty tame week for Perez, perhaps because he's on good behavior after the Will.I.Am incident. His behavior was far from good, however, throughout his feud with Carrie Prejean. After she was stripped of her Miss California crown, for instance, he called her a "dumb bitch" and drew a dick shooting cum on her face. Presumably, Perez is aware that his site looks like a middle school health book marked up by sharpie-wielding twelve-year-olds, but why hasn't anybody thought to call him on his slut-shaming, "vadge"-dropping, generally intelligent-insulting misogyny?

Andrew Sullivan seems to maybe sort of try, but he gets it very wrong:

The gay language police are after Hilton. It does strike me as rich that someone who called a woman a "dumb bitch" because she respectfully offered an evangelical view of marriage equality should use the word "faggot" in lambasting an assailant.

Really, Perez's behavior isn't inconsistent. His views on gay marriage (which, for the record, support actual equality as opposed to "an evangelical view of marriage equality") don't preclude him from being a thoughtless jerk who uses crude language to demean people. And what Sullivan calls "the gay language police" (aka people who fight against hate speech directed at historically persecuted groups) are very right to criticize Perez. We just wish the feminist language police had gotten on his case a lot earlier.

Why didn't they? Why did NOW speak out against Letterman when he made fun of Sarah Palin, but never against Perez? Maybe because serious feminists don't want to be seen as stooping to his level (it is tough to argue with a guy whose idea of political critique is drawing a dick on someone's face). Or maybe because we're so used to misogyny in the gossip world that we barely notice it anymore. Even non-dick-drawing gossip-mongers like the tabloids present women as little more than bodies to be endlessly critiqued for their imperfections, or as characters in a sexual morality play whose actions are fair game for our judgment. Maybe we've just accepted that to people like Perez, women are dumb sluts who exist so we can look at their vadges. But the longer we accept this from Perez and his ilk, the longer we'll live in a world where it's okay to call a woman a bitch when you don't agree with her, and to call her a ho whenever you feel like it. And that world sucks not just for celebrities, not even just for women, but for everybody.

Update: Newsweek's Kate Dailey rightly says Perez didn't deserve a beating, and wrongly brushes off both his "faggot" remark and his general misogyny.

He Who Must Not Be Paid Attention [FourFour]
Perez And The Petard [Daily Dish]
Prejean & Miss California May Battle It Out In Court! [Perez Hiton]
John Mayer, Perez Hilton, And The Politics Of Victim Blaming [The Human Condition (Newsweek Blog)]

Related:

• As mentioned yesterday, after Perez Hilton insulted Fergie, Perez and Will.I.Am had a confrontation in which Perez said:

"I don't need to respect you, and you're a fag. You're gay, and stop being such a faggot." GLAAD is not happy! A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation says: "These are vulgar antigay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes." [E!]

• Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel on the Perez kerfluffle: "When you get rich saying hateful things sometimes you ask for it… It's an unfortunate incident and I hope it goes away." [ET Online]
• Tila Tequila has gone off on Perez Hilton. From her Twitter: "you are such a whiney bitch! quit crying ur not a star." And! "I will not be like other celebs who are afraid of him and kiss his ass! i am not afraid of Perez Hilton. He knows he can't fuck with me." Plus: "I find it ironic that Perez talks shit about people all day long. He calls people faggot yet bashes Miss California. Perez Hilton is a bitch." [ONTD]
• Oh snap: Kirstie Alley also went off, making fun of Perez by Tweeting: "Will.I.Am? You am my new hero… smack!!! Wah wah wah… ouch ouch my eye… ouch ouch ouch call 911 boo hoo ouch." [ONTD]
• John Mayer joined the Perez hate on Twitter. [Pop Dirt]
• And Kelly Clarkson says no one will pity Perez and she would give her left arm to look as pretty as Fergie does. [ONTD]
• Polo Molina, the manager of the Black Eyed Peas, is the one who hit Perez and has turned himself in. Perez says to Will.I.Am : "I'd have more respect for you if you hit me yourself - you're a coward. Violence is never the answer. Fuck you, will.i.am, for lying. Shame on you. I did not deserve what happened to me. I have lost all respect for all of you and the Black Eyed Peas. And Fergie, you're fugly." Stay classy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jail 'Break' For Rihanna Ex: Beater Brown Gets Off Easy With Assault Plea." [NY Post]
• RIP Ed McMahon: 1923-2009. [Post Chronicle]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin announced that they are separating on last night's show. (And court documents show they have filed for divorce.) This columnist speculates that Jon will become a C-list celeb and Kate will be watched closely — people will be expecting her to cross the line or make a misstep with the kids. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "It still remains to be seen how TLC will handle the episodes of Jon & Kate shot before the divorce papers were filed - and now instantly dated. The channel has made a huge 40-episode order for the show's fifth season." [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, and Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Lucy Liu were there to celebrate with her. [People]
• Scenes from a lunch with Betty White and Cloris Leachman! It's hilarious. Cloris says of the tunic she makes for her clothing line, Clorisline: "It looks so pretty. Just tie it, put on some jewelry, go out to dinner and get drunk." Betty has quips too — just read it. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse wishes to become a permanent resident of St, Lucia! The weed must be really, really good. [Gatecrasher]
• Readers of Heat magazine in the UK have voted Robert Pattinson as the sexiest man on the planet. Blinded by the sparkles! [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Miley Cyrus makes money. [TMZ]
• David Beckham won "substantial" libel damages over a newspaper's claim that he "made a play" for a model. The story was printed on the front page of The Daily Star in April, and Beckham's lawyer called the allegation "serious and defamatory" and "untrue." The newspaper has retracted. [Mirror]
• OMG: A movie with Cher and Christina Aguilera? So much hair! So little wardrobe! So much attitude! [Variety]
• Even though there were reports that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt had wed in Hawaii, Anna's rep says: "it's not true." [Daily Express]
• A dude who played a gangster in Slumdog Millionaire has been accused of threatening the owner of a production company — demanding roles in films! [Times Of India]
• Lauryn Hill canceled all of her European tour dates; Wyclef Jean will stand in for her at the Montreux Jazz Festival. [Reuters]
• One of the co-executive producers of Heroes has abruptly left the show. [NY Mag]
• One of Candy Spelling's former employees claims Candy fired her for complaining about being overworked and underpaid. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has gotten a crude X tattooed over the tattoo of her estranged husband's name on her wrist. It looks bad. (But the pix of her gallivanting on a powerboat near Ibiza look awesome.) [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has ever-so-eloquently Tweeted: "pete being a true cunt to me ! he left me nt me leave him." [The Sun, Twitter]
• The Spice Girls made a ton of cash last year, from touring. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which hot young bachelor has (quite disappointingly) revealed himself to be a totally awful kisser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity to record for my first time in a professional studio. The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. I'm thrilled to be working with some of today's hottest songwriters and producers and can't wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like." — Adam Lambert is not a fan of his song, "Want," recorded before American Idol. [NY Daily News]
• "I think crime here is shocking and knife crime is shocking and everyone must do what they can to be safe." — Kevin Spacey finds London a wee dangerous. [Telegraph]
• "I recently gave a self-esteem workshop for Girl Scouts in Nashville, and I told the girls that I wasn't a role model for my weight, because I change. Sometimes I'm thicker when I'm around my family and I'm eating more. Sometimes I'm thinner because I'm on the road and that takes a lot out of me. But I do feel it's important to talk to girls about weight. They see these images, and there's no way they'll ever live up to them. I want them to see someone who is real and know they don't have to live up to anything." — Kelly Clarkson. [Reader's Digest]
• "I have a very serious regime of starvation and stress. I have gotten meaner as I have gotten thinner. I'm like the lost Olsen triplet." — Kathy Griffin. [WWD]
• "Everybody is unique. They're both very beautiful and they're both kind of sexy gals. Maybe Megan will start doing the things that Angie is so well known for. [Angie] is obviously known for her helping with kids and concern for others. I think that would be wonderful for all of the kids [if Megan were to do the same]. Megan can do a lot of good, so that would be great." — Jon Voight, on the similarities between his daughter Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. And yes, he said his daughter was sexy. [Life &Style]

• GLAAD is concerned about Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction of homosexuality in Brüno:

"We have very mixed emotions about the movie," says GLAAD's Rashad Robinson. "Those of us who saw the film agreed that you can't critique it as a single film because it's more like 90 minutes of individual sketches. Some are funny and hit their mark but others hit the [gay] community instead." GLAAD is asking for a bit where a baby is sitting in the same hot tub where two men are having sex be cut. "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times." [E!]

• Sacha Baron Cohen, dressed as Brüno, showed up outside of Buckingham Palace yesterday and announced: "I hope Prince Harry is coming to the premiere – I've heard he's a total slut!" [Telegraph]
• Brüno on prime minister Gordon Brown: "The guy needs a total makeover. He needs a fake tan, he needs to wear some tight slacks." [Telegraph]
• In the UK, you can't see Brüno unless you're over 18. [Telegraph]
• WTF: "Two police chiefs are under investigation for allegedly breaking into the Martins Ferry, Ohio, home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in an attempt to dig up dirt they hoped to sell to the tabloids." [Gatecrasher]
• Elle magazine says it has "no reason" to believe that Lindsay Lohan is responsible for $500,000 worth of Dior jewelry missing from a photoshoot. [Gatecrasher]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have donated $1 million to the UN Refugee Agency, to help displaced people n Pakistan. This comes one week after Brad donated $1 million for a pediatric cancer center in Missouri. [People]
• Jersey Housewives' Danielle says of the showdown in the finale: "My kids deserved to see how Mommy was going to grow from this and move forward. My children needed to learn from that, and that is why they wanted to stay in the room." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Housewives' Dina says of Danielle: "I never denied that I was part of [exposing] the book. I just literally never had the book in my hands. Literally. Like, I never had possession of the book. So how can I go around showing something that was never in my hands? So Jacqueline misunderstood what I was saying. She thought I was saying I never had anything to do with it. But, no, I had everything to do with it." [People]
• Oh dear: Morgan Freeman had an affair with his step granddaughter??? [National Enquirer via Perez]
• Madonna is calling on Gwyneth Paltrow to help her decorate a room for new child, Mercy. Her Madgesty's "wish list" includes "porcelain dolls, antique teddy bears, a library of leather-bound children's books and ancient maps of Africa to adorn the walls." Plus! Lourdes is super excited about having a sister: "She's bought piles of leggings, hipster T-shirts, tutus and sneakers for the new arrival." [The Sun]
• This essay argues that Madonna's "acquisition" of Mercy just helps baby traffickers. [Daily Mail]
• "Madonna 'banned Kate Winslet's musician father from appearing on Snatch film soundtrack.'" [Daily Mail]
• Good news: Bret Michaels will not sue the Tony Awards, even though he was injured by a set piece: "I'm taking the high road." [People]
• Has Sean Penn gone back to his wife after Natalie Portman broke his heart? [Page Six]
• "Michael Jackson is looking for a child who is missing limbs or in a wheelchair to appear on stage with him at his O2 gigs." [The Sun]
• Wow: E! is asking fans if the site should be a "Speidi-Free Zone." In a poll, the site asks, "Beginning today through Sunday, we are putting it to the fans to decide whether to banish Heidi and Spencer from E! forever, or at least until they do something truly newsworthy." [E!]
• Billy Joel's daughter and ex-wife speak out about his split from wife Katie Lee: daughter Alexa says, "If my dad's happy, I'm happy and I respect any decision that he makes." Chrsitie Brinkley says: "I'm very sad that this has happened, and I wish them both happiness." [Extra]
• Billy Joel's wife Katie Lee was seen dancing "erotically" with fashion designer Yigal Azrouel six months ago, and some say he introduced her to people as his girlfriend. [NY Post]
• Apocalypto: Paris Hilton — and her reality show — have landed in Dubai. [AP]
• 50 Cent spent $33,000 on Tom Ford suits. [Page Six]
• Like Lost? Like Sawyer, aka Josh Holloway? In this clip, he talks about all kinds of stuff — his character, Jack, Juliet, etc. [EW]
• Lost alum Maggie Grace: Returning to Hawaii, but she teases: "I don't know why." [E!]
• I dare you, DARE you to watch this video of Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat (who was Maeby from Arrested Development), and Har Mar Superstar singing "Don't Stop Believing" and not cringe, wince or guffaw. [NY Mag]
• A fourth Mission: Impossible starring Tom Cruise? Just looks desperate. Although having JJ Abrams involved again is interesting. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in Love Happens, a movie about a self-help guru with a secret who dates a florist. Except it seems like the secret is given away in the trailer, which is posted at the link. [People]
• Reese Witherspoon with star in Pharm Girl, a comedy about one woman's experience working at a large pharmaceutical company — the longer she works there, the more she sees the "underbelly" of the industry. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rashida Jones will star in a rom com called Celeste And Jesse Forever, about a divorcing couple who attempt to maintain their friendship while pursuing new relationships. [UPI]
• Coming soon: A Bride Of Frankenstein remake, in which "the monster is a babe," someone like Scarlett Johansson or Anne Hathaway. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie's chauffeur: Caught driving without insurance. [The Sun]
• Kelis has filed her financials with the court and it all comes down to the fact that she doesn't have a lot of cash, and having a baby takes money. She'd like Nas to pay up. [TMZ]
• TR Knight is leaving Grey's Anatomy and word is, he wants to do Broadway. Or at least: Theater. [E!]
• Snippet from this Betty White interview: You stole the movie [The Proposal]. And added the sentimentality it needed. That scene in the airplane really got me. "Well aren't you dear. Thank you." There were some other topics I wanted to cover— "Can I get you any coffee or water?" [MovieLine]
• George Lucas is building an office complex that looks exactly like Hearst Castle. [mediabistro.com]
• Critical acclaim for the second season of Mad Men? Duh. [Variety]
• You can't sue the Bionic Woman over a car crash! She doesn't drive. She just runs, making a wannannana - wannanana - sound effect! [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne will appear on Jack Osbourne's show, Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie, in which stars do stuff like bungee jump, white water raft and skydive. [The Sun]
• "Ryan Cabrera Sued over Death Trap Driveway." [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price got drunk in Ibiza and said to a journalist: "I'm gonna cut your fucking face. I swear to God I'll fucking cut you." Charming! [Daily Mail]
• Is Conan O'Brien losing viewers to David Letterman? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which ditsy blond didn't seem to care when a crowd of ladies caught her sniffing Colombia's finest - right out in the open - in Atlantic City?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Miss Congeniality was a romantic comedy, I call that a buddy flick. It's a new kind of film. If you really think about it; it wasn't about romance, it was about her saving her friend at the beauty pageant. Men do films like this, The Proposal or Miss Congeniality, all the time and they're considered comedies and there's always love in it. There's always love in it. There's always a relationship. I would like to help create a broader spectrum of categories where the writing gets better. There are great writers out there." — Sandra Bullock. [Reuters]
• "He's like a new man. He really went through something [with that racist tirade incident]. He used to be very angry and bitter. He's completely different now. You can see it, and he can feel it. I'm very happy for him." — Larry David on Michael Richards. [Reuters]
• "I wish I could afford to be here all the time, but it's a very expensive city to work in. It's gotten worse for me. It's gotten better in that they give you tax breaks. But everything (else) has gone up. I work on a very limited budget." — Woody Allen. [USA Today]
• "Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support. I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny, and although I may not understand, I will strive to be understanding ... The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child." — Cher, on her daughter's decision to undergo a sex change. [TMZ]
• "Positive is not funny. Nobody laughs at positive, 'What a beautiful day it is!' or how many friends I have, how many people love me. There's nothing funny about that at all. But there's funny in the negative. When you speak in negative terms, the more negative, the funnier it is. Hence, the funny crank." — Larry David. [LA Times]
• "In America, there's such a hunger for young people, so you get the young up-and-coming star. And then it becomes a time period when they really don't know what to do with you or how to use you. And then it changes, I think, after 50 - then you become - 'I'm the mother of the 20-year-old.' So I'm hoping there's going to be a shift again and I'll work more." — Andie MacDowell, who says her 40s were an awkward time because she had trouble finding roles. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I don't like the word 'cougar' because it just makes me think of teeth and somebody who's biting. We have to come up with a new word." — Countess Luann de Lesseps. [Gatecrasher]
• "You know what, I prefer a flatter-chested look. That's just kind of me. I think it's more of a fashion look. If you look at a lot of high-fashion models and things like that, they're always you know, a little flatter. I like the way clothes fit better…" — Lauren Conrad is not into plastic surgery. [People]
• "We should all believe in something, and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila." — Justin Timberlake. [Page Six]
• "Seriously, this is one of my favorite songs ever. I love the whole album. I'm completely immersed in it. I can't wait for you to hear it." — Mariah Carey on her OWN new single. [NY Daily News]

The Good:
Nom nom Mariska!
Dear Malan Breton, I love you, your maniacal laugh, and your insane suit. Xo.
Can't help it: Love that shade of blue on Tala Ashe's dress.
Tim Gunn: Then, now, always.

The Bad:
Pocket gay Alec Mapa is clearly not afraid of wearing white (or cream, whatevs) after Labor Day.
Um, yeah: Same goes for TV host Graham Norton.
Did someone forget to remind Loretta Devine that she's an icon?! Why is she dressed so shabby?!

The Ugly:
I don't care how out, loud and proud he is: Alan Cumming should know better than to dress like the Unabomber.

[Images via FilmMagic.]