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The Nanny Diaries

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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Argh. I worked at a day care center after high school. Was there a year or two and worked in the baby room (squee) and then came this little French baby. Oh my Gawd. I fell madly in love upon meeting him. His parents had come to the US just a short time prior, and his maman and I got along well. I babysat for him a few times a month, and all was well. Then, when he was a little over a year old, maman took me aside and asked me if I'd agree to be their nanny. She had just found out that she was pregnant again. Of course I said yes. When the bebe was born, I fell in love with him, too. So here I am, thinking that this would be the best job EVAR. And really, for a while it was. Their house was beautiful, they were pretty well-off and all. Then I realized that they had decided I was only worth $8 per hour and that a raise was not forthcoming. Also realized that my hours spent in their home per week were starting to creep up from the 40s to the 60s. And I felt bad for the boys, they adored their parents and never got to see them except on weekends. At any rate I stayed on because I loved those kids like they were my own but I started to dislike their parents. Eventually the dad was relocated to Dallas, and on my last day I was a tearful mess because I'd gotten so attached to the boys. And the Mrs decided to salt my wounds by giving me the worst parting gift in the history of parting gifts: DISH TOWELS. Yes, DISH TOWELS. I was absolutely gobsmacked. Like, thanks for taking care of my kids, you know, like cooking their meals, giving them medicine when they were sick, cleaning up their messes, bathing them every night, all that stuff, and here's a nice set of dish towels for all your trouble. Fucking unbelievable. If the opportunity ever came again, I wouldn't do it for anything. Christ.
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echoparkgal
12/16/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: that sucks that you felt so devalued. I hope your next working experience is alot better. Please don't be afraid to set your expectations (and your salary and equivalent compensation) alot higher and realistic for your personal lifestyle - so that there is no miscommunication as to what YOU WANT in return for what YOUR CLIENT needs.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/16/08

@echoparkgal: Yeah it sucked. I'd never do it again, even if it was for someone I knew. I'm pleased as punch that mr.terrible and I have our own shop now and I'll never have to work for anyone else. People who seem normal and nice sometimes turn out to be the opposite, and that holds true in any line of work.
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sportz.star
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
When she stands up, her pants fall off. They have to, right?
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
I hate when my jeans fall lower than they're supposed to. How does she not feel them about to fall off when she's starting to squat down. Or how does she not care?
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shewar
12/16/08

@tonightineed has a yeast infection and is not pleased: I'm guessing she doesn't care. Babies are serious business and they always ALWAYS pull their damn shoes and socks off in the stroller. I'd think this was a pic of me from my days as a nanny except I don't own any underwear with built in chains.
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
12/16/08

@shewar: Yeah, it's amazing how you manage to lose shoes and socks. I guess my question is more of how she wasn't bothered wearing jeans that obviously have this sort of ass-revealing potential. I just wouldn't be comfortable.
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scullymurphy
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Damn. Her front HAS to be uncovered too. And the rise on her jeans must be in the negative numbers.
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stacyinbean
12/16/08

@scullymurphy: That's what I'm wondering about, is there only two inches of rise on those pants? Are they some new uber-low rise I haven't seen yet?
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morninggloria
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
I'm asstounded by the cheekiness of her wardrobe choice. While normally, I would encourage onlookers to butt out of matters of wardrobe, this photo is emblematic of a hole set of real concerns parents have regarding their nannies.
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million.dollar.mouth.
12/16/08

@morninggloria: Especially the rampant use of crack within the nanny culture.
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/16/08

@morninggloria: It's assinine!
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@morninggloria: She looks like a bum!
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Kivrin
12/16/08

@morninggloria: Her outfit really is a bit too derriere-ing for a nanny job...
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hatepaperdoll
12/16/08

@morninggloria: Thats no way to rear children!
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morninggloria
12/16/08

@hatepaperdoll: Wow. You win.
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Kivrin
12/16/08

@morninggloria: That girl needs to be made over, from top to bottom.
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Kivrin
12/16/08

@Kivrin: I mean, my nanny never dressed like that when she tuckus to the park.

(Sorry, I can't stop!)
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bananastand
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
That's a good way to get playground gravel stuck in your asscrack.
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stacyinbean
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
That's an impressively stretchy pair of pants there!
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dirtybee
12/16/08

@stacyinbean: Not to mention that it looks like it's freezing in that picture. What an unbelievable tolerance to cold!
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Samanthrax
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
That pic is hilarious. Also, I am starting to wonder if I am the only lady who can't wear thongs. They are not uncomfortable... I like boy shorts. Anyway! I have tried over and over again to get a nanny job in NYC, which I thought would be cake because of my education degree... no dice.
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million.dollar.mouth.
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: I too am a boy shorts kind of gal. I hate thongs with a purple passion.
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Samanthrax
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: I really can't type today. They ARE uncomfortable, I mean.
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bananastand
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: Uncomfy AND cause yeast infections! How....sexy?
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Snowbunny
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: I wear bikinis. Boy shorts go too far up my ass.

I refuse to wear a pair of underwear whose main purpose in life is to exist as a wedgie.
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Cocotte
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: Your degree probably makes you want a reasonable salary. Nannies are notoriously not paid reasonable salaries.
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Samanthrax
12/16/08

@Cocotte: This is true- I do require a reasonable salary. Bugger it.
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LaFemme
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: Try Hanky Panky or Cosabella. Seriously, you don't even feel like you are wearing anything. Don't buy any that are not soft and stretchy if you are sensitive. This may mean they are more expensive, but they are worth it!
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: Hipsters are the way to go. Personally.

No thongs here. Thank god the boyfriend likes the new high-wasited panty trend more than anything skimpy. Swear to god, these are actually his favorite panties on me: [store.americanapparel.net] these and a button up are all he asks.

I just don't get how thongs are comfortable. To each their own.
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rosasparks
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: My ass is enormous. My butt eats every fucking pair of underwear, EVER. The idea of putting something up my crack, ON PURPOSE, is not fun times for me. They cause extreme discomfort and I figure, if I'm going to actually WEAR underwear, I want to be covered.

I wear men's briefs. I kid you not. SO COMFY. 6 pack of Jockeys; no wedgies, full coverage and they look good, to be honest.
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/16/08

@rosasparks: zomg! I love men's briefs. They are cut more for booty than women's booty shorts, I think.
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thesciencegirl
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: I discovered boy shorts last year, and they changed my life. One of 3 items on my Christmas wish list was Hanes boyshorts.

When I was in college, some friends convinced me to buy a thong and just give it a try. I was so aware of it all day, it drove me crazy. Not comfy.
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Macloserboy
12/16/08

@rosasparks: Oh, no! I must contact The Patriarchy HQ to let them know a woman has discovered the fact that we make our underwear to be comfortable and their just to look good to us regardless of comfort. This could upset the balance of everything!
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rosasparks
12/16/08

@Macloserboy: Well, in my experience, the men who have discovered I wear man undies have not been upset. Just sayin'....

(ps for reals, though, don't tell the powers-that-be. I don't want to wear annoying women's underwear!)
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dirtybee
12/16/08

@rosasparks: Ditto on the "my butt eats underwear" notion. I rather go commando than wear a thong.
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fulanita
12/16/08

@LaFemme: @iHEARTschadenfreude: Hanky Panky, FTW!!!

I was never a thong-wearer, but these are only undies of any kind that I have ever bought that I absolutely cannot feel at all. I don't get it when everyone goes on about how uncomfortable thongs are because these are more comfortable than anything I've ever worn. OTOH, I find boyshorts intolerable, all riding up and whatnot.
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mepo - Robert Cornhole invented it
12/16/08

@tonightineed has a yeast infection and is not pleased: "Stain removers cannot be used on Fluorescent colors" - that made me laugh. Ew.
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Samanthrax
12/16/08

Thank you, everyone for your thong suggestions. Though I remain relatively unswayed, I may give these Hanky Pankys a try.

Although, now that I think about it, probably not- I keep forgetting I have a huge third degree burn on my ass cheek. Sigh.
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British Benzene
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: My wife rocks the "commando" 90% of the time and I have zero complaints about that.
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Samanthrax
12/16/08

@British Benzene: Oh... I would do that, but my wardrobe doesn't permit. Also, I don't like to do laundry.

@DontFearTheReefer: Actually, third degree burns are not painful at all, really. All of the tissue is destroyed, including the nerve endings... it was a weird feeling, because I had to clean it, and I would touch it and I was actually touching muscle, but other than that... no pain.

I got it on a motorcycle.
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jigglyball
12/16/08

@fulanita: God yes, I love Hanky Panky thongs. My mom gives me several pairs in my stocking every Christmas. They're more expensive than your basic Vicky's Secret g-string, but they're so soft and comfortable and wedge-free that they're worth it.

I can't wait for Christmas.
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
12/16/08

@Samanthrax: I was in Nordstrom's yesterday and the ladies lingerie (where I was) is near the children section. This vile woman drags her young daughter from the kids section to lingerie, cuts in front of me in line, and yells at the counter girl, "Why do I have to come all the way over here to get a thong for my child!?!" Crickets.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Another lesson for nannies: low-rise pants + tiny children =/ appropriate work attire.
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Macloserboy
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
What no one realizes is that's the child's mother.
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rosasparks
12/16/08

@Macloserboy: My first thought, EXACTLY. Why assume that is the nanny? That could very well be the mama.

(I do not wear thongs, ouch, but go braless sometimes. bubbasparks notified me one day that at least 2 dads & several young boys just STARED at me while me & minisparks played. I probably shouldn't have been bending over so much at the sandbox. I was, well, EMBARRASSED.)
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fulanita
12/16/08

@rosasparks: I guess because it came from the "I saw your nanny website"?
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mepo - Robert Cornhole invented it
12/16/08

@Macloserboy: Or indeed its grandmother.
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rosasparks
12/16/08

@fulanita: ahhh yes, I didn't see the caption correctly. (ISYN, ugh)

I LOVE that website. It's so informative and thoughtful.

(yuck)
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million.dollar.mouth.
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Holy Hell! Between this photo and the Brett Michaels photoshop, I have seen way too much of women's backsides this morning.
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@sammyboombaladdy: Given that Bret Michaels was in the last picture as well, I would change that sentence to "I have seen way too many asses this morning."
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million.dollar.mouth.
12/16/08

@BabyJane: Very good point.
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Screw that, I'm just going to have my shih-poo nanny my son. She'll carry him around by the scruff of his neck, lick him clean, and teach him the fine art of catching squirrels. Also, I'll make sure she's wearing that fetching red thong.
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/16/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): Seriously, as someone who has put panties on a sheltie, you don't want to have to go there.
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@prestocaro: You didn't!
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/16/08

@BabyJane: She was in heat and we had run out of doggie pads, so I tried to use an old ratty pair of my panties and a human pad.

She immediately went outside and peed, of course.
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
12/16/08

@prestocaro: @BabyJane: Ahem, my sister once put my bra on our maltipoo. He was confused what he was supposed to do with empty C-cups. And he couldn't walk.
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@prestocaro: Oh! That makes sense. I thought it was just for fun!
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prestocaro fears the culling
12/16/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): oh, that made me laugh so hard I woke the dog.
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Majrhoulihan
12/16/08

@prestocaro: Wait...doggie pads? Why didn't I know about this? I thought all bitches in heat leave a trail...
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LucyRed
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
Do you feel the draft and just not care? Because there's just no way you can be that unawares that your arse is hanging out. Right?
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evil_green_eyes
12/16/08

@LucyRed: maybe she's drunk. When you're drunk you don't care what's hanging out. It's the only suitable explaination.
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mepo - Robert Cornhole invented it
12/16/08

@evil_green_eyes:@LucyRed: I find minding kids is always better after several Jamesons.
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
So I probably shouldn't say I hate all children in my interview, right? And make sure the parents don't see my bag of anthrax?
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
12/16/08

@pantsless economist: It depends. How much do you charge?
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@pantsless economist: I like to open with "Joan Crawford is my idol."
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
12/16/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (subservient to the ovumlord): She's right. If you're cheap and I can call you up to take the kids to the park at 10pm so the husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and I can get it on...
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/16/08

@BabyJane: And then politely inquire what sort of hangers are used in the home.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
12/16/08

@pantsless economist: Just pretend the anthrax is cocaine.
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BabyJane
12/16/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: Exactly! If they're not wire, I offer to bring my own. I'm helpful that way!
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BeckySharper
12/16/08

In reply to The Nanny Diaries
That photo made me LOL. My ex boyfriend had a 5 year old daughter and a plump German au pair lived with the daughter and her mom. The au pair was CONSTANTLY bending over and showing a ton of plumber's crack. It was like a running joke in our neighborhood...
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Plum-Pie
12/16/08

@BeckySharper: You know we Brits call it 'builder's bum'? Alliteration FTW!
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