Anyone notice how the girls kind of yell when they talk to him? This new batch of girlfriends don't seem to have the kind of close relationship that Holly, Bridget and Kendra had with Hef. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that, sometimes, the antics of the twins borders on elder abuse.

You'd think she'd be used to this shit by now, considering that she broke up with Hef in 1976, and has remained close to him since. Still, she seems to understand him and says that she's happy that he's happy.

In the clip above, Tina says that while she was doing the Bazaar shoot she thought, "Yeah, I look like this!" ... then they turn the wind machine off.

Below, she explains that her daughter is now old enough to pick her own Halloween costume, so the days of stuffing her in a ham sandwich costume and laughing at her are over. Tina doesn't want her to go as a "Barbie butterfly princess," but at least she doesn't want to be one of the Girls Next Door.

Hef's other girlfriend is 22-year-old Crystal, who helps her 83-year-old boyfriend with his Twitter page. She insists that she's not a gold digger and she has a "regular" job (making $10 an hour working on Hef's scrapbooks).


The only thing grosser than the thought of teenagers sleeping with an octogenarian is Carrot Top.


Look at how bummed out the girls look when they have to take a break from their Vegas fun to call the old man.

When her tour guide told her that "Rasta" is all about positivity, and not dreadlocks, Bridget, who was bedecked in red, yellow, and green, said that she's definitely a Rasta then. The tour guide reminded her that this means that she can't eat pork. For some reason, she laughed it off, as though he was puling her leg. When she figured out he was serious, you can see her mentally dismissing Rastafari as something she could jump on board with.

• Nancy Pelosi left a health-care forum at the White House to meet with Brad Pitt. This piece calls them "Brancy." [WaPo]

• Everybody on Capitol Hill was atwitter over Brad Pitt being in their midst; Rep. James E. Clyburn says: "I did not realize when the Speaker asked me to chair the Katrina/Rita task force that it would lead to my getting in a position to make my grandchildren so envious of me, because this effort brought the two of us — Brad Pitt and myself together." [Politico]
• This headline sums it up: "Capitol Hill Goes Gaga Over Brad Pitt." [USA Today]
• Back in September, Amy Winehouse was involved in some kind of "incident" (uh, which one?) and now she has been charged with assault. Run back to St. Lucia! [People]
• Oh yeah: It was when she punched a fan who asked for a picture. [The Sun, Daily Mail]
• Um, Amy's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "besotted" with Francesca Morralee, who is 17. [The Sun]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday but did not enter a plea. His arraignment was delayed until April 6. [People]
  
• Here's a picture of two "fans" outside Chris Brown's court hearing yesterday, with signs which read "I love you Chris." [Concrete Loop]
• After Chris Brown was charged with two felonies, one of Rihanna's relatives told People: "It's about time." [People]
• Rihanna's lawyer told Chris Brown: "I think Rihanna would like this over as quickly as possible. It benefits everybody." Then Brown's own lawyer told Brown: "I've explained it to you that the best thing that could happen in this case is, Don [Rihanna's lawyer] is involved. Didn't I tell you that?" [LA Times]
• Nine days passed before Chris Brown apologized to Rihanna for beating her. [Fox 411]
• The reason Usher backed down on his criticism of Chris Brown? Rihanna. Trying to show support for Rihanna. [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown "hit the town" after his court appearance. Not really… He hung out at a hotel bar with bodyguards. [TMZ]
• What the goop was Gwyneth Paltrow doing getting into a chauffeur-driven car with Christiane Amanpour? [Page Six]
• Jewel and Nancy O'Dell have both withdrawn from Dancing With The Stars due to injuries suffered during rehearsals. What the hell goes on at that show? [People]
• Girls Next Door star Holly Madison will replace Jewel and Nancy. [NY Daily News]
• It may have sounded like there were screaming masses at Michael Jackson's press conference, but there were only 25 people including press. [Gatecrasher]
• But! People trying to get "pre-sale" tickets for Jackson's show are complaining that the website is effed. [Telegraph]
• Even though Heath Ledger's dad told a reporter that the family planned to keep Heath's Oscar "forever," it will actually go to Michelle Williams. Today. She will hold it for Matilda. [LA Times]
• WTF. This report begins, "Madonna has offered a gnarly old hand to Sienna Miller…" [Daily Star]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were "in tears" watching American Idol finalist Jorge Nuñez. [E!]
• "Regis Philbin Blackmail Shocker!" [National Enquirer]
• David Beckham will stay with AC Milan until the end of the season and will return next season, but he'll be "timeshared" with the LA Galaxy between July and October. [Daily Mail]
• "Flip-flopping" Bachelor Jason Mesnick swears he is not a jerk. [MSNBC]
• Shh! Don't tell anyone, but Lucy Liu is an artist, painting under the pseudonym Yu Ling. Snap up her portrait of two people kissing for a mere $28,000. [Page Six]
• It's all baby-talk all the time on the set of Ugly Betty. [People]
• For an episode of Oprah's show, Dennis Quaid and his wife returned to the hospital where their twins were given an overdose of blood thinner. [AP]
• Vince Vaughn is engaged and the lady is named Kyla Weber; she's a Canadian real estate agent. [Gatecrasher]
• Simon Cowell and ex Terri Seymour went on a dinner date. Cue the "ooooohhhh!" [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Matthew Settle and his wife welcomed a daughter, Aven Angelica, yesterday. [People]
• "LSD, Easter Island, science fiction and, of course, Lorne Michaels, all played a role in developing the Coneheads sketch for Saturday Night Live. [Page Six]
• Joe Francis denies he accidentally bumped into Brody Jenner's girlfriend at a club, which sparked a screaming match. Joe, ever the pacifist, says: "There was no physical contact, but if you're Brody Jenner and dating an ugly piece of trash…you should expect these types of altercations." [Page Six]
• Ghostface has written a song for Rihanna. Sample lyrics: "Shake it off, wake up… Pretty lady, come about yourself…" [Concrete Loop]
• Fantasia Barrino returns to the musical The Color Purple for a five week stint in Washington DC. [Variety]
• Mark Wahlberg will star in a "dark thriller" which this piece calls "one of the hottest scripts in town." It's set in Boston, so Wahlberg can do his best "Say hello to your mother for me." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• DNA tests prove that Jerry Lewis has a daughter — he mother had an affair with the entertainer back in 1952. He has not publicly acknowledged the woman as his daughter, but his son agreed to a DNA test because "everybody deserves to know where they came from and who they are." [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which flowery former wild child had a bad sexual experience with the creator of a hit TV show - but went for another round because 'she'll try anything twice'?" [Gatecrasher]
• R.I.P. Sydney Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin's son and Tony-award winning actor. [AP]
• "My dad is more of a rock star than me. He embraces the lifestyle. People think having your dad on tour would cramp your style. But I don't have any style - he's got all the right moves. He's living the dream. I am going to check he hasn't trashed the hotel room before we leave each city." — Chris Martin. [The Sun]
• "The biggest thing for me is that I am now going to have to choose between work - this script or that script. Until now, my roles have chosen me; my career has been shaped essentially by never saying no. But now I will have to say no. I just hope l'll be wise in my choosing." — Melissa Leo, about her life post-Oscar nomination. [Guardian]
• "So when I do go out with him I sit and get progressively more pissed, and he's one of those annoying people who remembers everything. I go to him, 'Just have a fucking beer! One beer!' And he says to me that if he has one beer he'll probably end up in a crack house in Kings Cross within 40 minutes. I'm like, ‘Brilliant, I'll come with you.'" — Noel Gallagher, on hanging out with Russell Brand, who does not drink. [The Sun]
• "It's fine if Tori wants her own reality show or wants to write books about her childhood. I just wish she'd leave me out of it. She has plenty to talk about without saying things like, 'I wish I were closer to my mother,' or 'Did you see what my mother wrote on her Web site?' I wish she would call me, rather than say on television, 'I should call my mom.'" — Candy Spelling, whose autobiography, Stories From Candy-Land, is out at the end of the month. [Gatecrasher]
• "Dave [Stewart] and I talk to each other only rarely these days, and I can't see another reunion. He lives in America and I'm over here. We're both working on our own things. For me, it would feel like a step backwards and I want to keep moving forward. I enjoy multi-tasking, so I want to do a lot of different things. I want to keep all the plates spinning." — Annie Lennox. [Daily Mail]
• "I am in perfect health. I'm in very good shape and feeling very good." — Hugh Hefner, knocking down reports that her was "far from his normally alert self" at a recent party. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It doesn't vacuum, it doesn't wash the dishes or stuff like that." — Charlize Theron, joking about her Oscar. [The Star]
• "I'd love to work with Amy Winehouse. She has a very distinct, sexy, soulful voice and she writes great lyrics." — John Legend. [Mirror]
• "[The role reminds me of ] a period of my life where I had to work several jobs to pay my bills. Something would go wrong and you'd have to take another job to get your car running. That was very real for me." — Amy Adams, on Sunshine Cleaning. [WSJ]

This clip, from last night's episode of The Girls Next Door, is exemplary of the kind of conversations that once made the Playboy Mansion a magical place, and kinda proves that these girls ended up doing exactly what they were born to do.

• Did a knock down, drag out fight with Lilo land Samantha Ronson in the hospital for "exhaustion"?

• According to TMZ: "Neighbors tell us [Lindsay and Sam] were going at it for a long time, but it reached a crescendo at around 4:00 AM after one of them screamed at the other, 'You never say you love me.'" [TMZ
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and Stella McCartney had a girls night out in London after Madge handed over her kids to ex-husband Guy Ritchie for the evening. Madge obviously knows that the best break up medicine (besides an affair with A-Rod) is a night out with the ladies. [Daily Mail]
• Lance Armstrong is expecting another child with girlfriend Anna Hansen. He has three children from his first marriage to ex-wife Kristin. [People]
• Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to NFL player Hank Baskett. The wedding is slated for June 27 at, where else? The Playboy mansion. Initially she wanted ex-sugar daddy Hugh Hefner to give her away, but now Kendra is having second thoughts. [People]
• DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, is taking a page from fellow plane crash survivor Travis Barker and suing a bunch of people. "DJ AM is suing the estates of the two pilots who died in the crash as well as Clay Lacy Aviation, Global Exec Aviation, Inter Travel & Services Inc, Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co, and Learjet." He claims the pilots knew that the tires were shot and attempted to take off anyway. "Damn," says Michael K. of Dlisted. "I can understand suing companies and shit, but suing the estates of the pilots? I wonder if the pilots left behind any kids that need food, clothes and a roof over their heads. It seems a little extreme to try to fuck with the families, but I don't know the details and shit, so I will leave it at that." Word to that entire sentiment. [Dlisted]
• Marisa Tomei, 44, was conspicuously canoodling with Logan Marshall-Green, 32 (otherwise known as "Trey" from the O.C.) at the LA premiere of the Wrestler. You go Marisa! [Page Six]
• Apparently Suri Cruise gets 100 pieces of fan mail a day from all around the world. She is egregiously adorable. [Star]
• Slow gossip day, guys: Page Six reports that Bridget Moynahan uses the same dentist as her estranged baby daddy, Tom Brady. Riveting! [Page Six]
• Scar Jo's snot-filled Kleenex eventually went for $5,300 on eBay. Merry Christmas…sorta. [NYDN]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform a gospel song for her departed mom at the 2009 Grammys. [NYDN]
• Long dead drug kingpin Pablo Escobar loved Elvis, and even played his records when he was in the clink. Jailhouse rock indeed! [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt keeps running his mouth about Heidi Montag's momma. "I just had visions of her mom trying to kill me in my sleep so I saw that as a possibility," he said at the Hills season finale party. Dear Momma Montag: we hope you have a Spencer-free Christmas and a happy New Year. [ASL]
• Ricky Martin: living la vida loca for 37 years as of today. [Dlisted]
• Though he's making a government salary now, from his Christmas shopping spree at Hermès, it's obvious that Arnold Schwarzenegger used to make the big movie star buckies. [ASL]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are in Aspen for Christmas, and Mariah says she always gets holiday-themed lingerie. “Honestly, I always get Santa lingerie. Even if nobody’s going to see it! I mean, why not? But this year I’m definitely excited because it’ll be appreciated!” Mimi says. Cant'…won't…make this lame joke…sigh. Ho ho ho, Mariah! There. I said it. [Just Jared]
• Poor Ben Stiller has to spend Christmas in a cast. He broke his hand snowboarding over the weekend. [E! Online]

• Luke Wilson is back in Austin, Texas for the holidays, and he's spending them at the Yellow Rose gentlemen's club. Ol' Luke was "getting lap dances and rocking out" to heavy metal. [Page Six]

• Ostensibly the same thieves who stole millions worth of Paris Hilton's jewelery last week have also robbed Erin Wasson. Wasson was unfortunately home during the robbery. Like Hilton, she had also left her door unlocked."Tens of thousands of dollars of jewelry and designer clothing," were stolen from Wasson's abode, "including pieces by Alexander McQueen, Ann Demeulemeester, Dior, Givenchy and William Rast." A prominent publicist living nearby was also robbed. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Paris, rumor is that she and Benji Madden are back on. Says a source, “They are completely still hooking up." [The Superficial]
• This is getting completely ridiculous: apparently at the (probably staged) Los Angeles courthouse ceremony, Spencer refused to say "I do" after Heidi had already said it. Because, according to E!, "In an apparent act of consideration for his prettier half, the bearded one decided to wait. The reason given? The two plan to create a fantasy ceremony for Heidi that would include patching things up with her family, who were disappointed to have been shut out of the couple's ring exchange." [E! Online]
• Trouble in J.Lo's perfect marriage? Both Jennifer and Marc Anthony have recently been photographed without their wedding rings. Also: a source tells Page Six that J.Lo sent her assistant on tour with Marc to make sure he didn't stick his willie where it wasn't supposed to go. Hmm! [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven's Speed the Plow castmates aren't buying his "sushi defense" — that he left the show because of Mercury poisoning due to excessive sushi intake. After the first performance sans-Piven, former co-star Raul Esparza told the audience, "Today was the first time I really enjoyed playing this show. I hope you weren't expecting a big TV star." Damn, yo. [NYM]
• Apparently the hand injury Shia LaBeouf sustained in his DUI car crash earlier this year is fairly serious, much more so than has been admitted in the past. “Shia’s tendons had fused together, and right after the accident there was talk of a partial amputation," a source tells the Daily News. Good thing he's an actor and not any other job where he'd actually have to suffer the consequences: the writers for the Transformers sequel wrote his injury into the plot. [NYDN]
• Like girlfriend Lindsay Lohan before her, Sam Ronson was hospitalized over the weekend for "exhaustion." Some are speculating that "exhaustion" is actually code for "depression" while others are speculating that "exhaustion" actually means "coke bender." She's already out of the hospital and feeling better. [NYM, Jossip]
• Revolutionary Road director Sam Mendes on filming his wife Kate Winslet doing Leonardo DiCaprio: "a profoundly weird experience…[I had to watch from another room and shout] 'Leo, don't bang her head so hard against the kitchen cabinets…Could you not do it for so long this time?'" [Page Six]
• How much does it cost to wrangle Britney Spears? $16,125, according to a judge. That's the amount of Britney's money her dad, Jamie, will be given per month to continue taking care of his daughter's financial affairs. Her brother Bryan will receive $200,000 for the things he did for Brit before his father was named official conservator. [TMZ]
• Courteney Cox says that divorce from husband David Arquette isn't something she'd ever consider. "I don't know what the future's going to hold, but divorce isn't really an option," Cox says. She says the couple attends counseling to work on their issues. “Therapy helps us. It's so easy to grow apart; marriage takes work. I suppose you can work it out by talking to each other — I would just prefer to have a referee, it reminds us why we're together.” That actually sounds sane. Good for her! [MSNBC]
• Apparently John Mayer hates Jennifer Aniston's dogs, Norman and Dolly, just like he hated ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson's tiny lap puppy, Daisy. [Dlisted]
• Aw, Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson won't show strangers her boobs anymore now that she's in luuurve. “She’s changed so much. She’s not even the same person. … She doesn’t flash anymore. She’s a lot more conservative. She’s so in love," says fellow Bunny Bridget. [NYDN]
• Kirsten Dunst's stalker, Christopher Smith, has been "forbidden from owning (or possessing) a gun, and/or coming anywhere near Dunst, where she lives, her personal assistant or where she works." He showed up at Kiki's house over Thanksgiving and scared the crap out of her. Good thing she's getting the legal protection she needs. [ASL]
• Pete Wentz: Ashlee's breast milk tastes "weird." Pete Wentz: please stop. [E! Online]

[New York, October 30. Image via Splash.]

• Scarlett Johansson is just getting back from a four-day trip to Rwanda, where she visited AIDS clinics. She went in conjunction with (RED) and says: "I came here with an open mind, wanting to listen, understand and learn; I leave with the overwhelming understanding that the small action of making a (RED) choice in your purchases ... has an enormous impact on the lives of people in countries like Rwanda." [People]
• Santa must think you've been very good: Stephen Colbert is hosting a one-hour Christmas special on Comedy Central. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! will air Nov. 23. It's a musical, of course. Look for John Legend, Elvis Costello, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist and Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who's supposed to sing a duet with Colbert of a song simply titled "Hanukkah." It's the most wonderful time of the year! [AP]
• Anne Hathaway's "people" don't want you to know that she smokes. [Rush & Molloy]
• Breaking news: Madonna is rude. [Perez Hilton]
• Barbra Streisand sang at a fundraiser for Barack Obama last night. Her song choices: "When the Sun Comes Out," "Make Someone Happy," "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" and "Shining Hour." [Fox 411]

• Is Britney's label pushing her too hard? She's been going to the studio ever since she got out of the hospital, but it was more therapeutic than anything — now her CD is going to drop. Too much too soon? A source "close" to her record label says: "As long as it's produced well and has a good beat, she’ll have a hit. Really, the quicker we do it, the better it will be. You shouldn’t overthink some things." Has Britney ever been accused of overthinking anything? [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez threw Marc Anthony a surprise 40th birthday party in New York — on the same day she completed her first triathlon in Malilbu. Over-achieve much, showoff? Anywhoozle, the party had a casino and showgirl vibe with Dita Von Teese, a salsa orchestra, mojitos and dancers in feather headdresses. [People]
• Searching for images of Brad Pitt can kill your computer, but what a lovely way to go. [MSNBC]
• Ricky Gervais thinks obese people should be shunned: "I don't think there's enough stigma. I laugh about being fat but I should be ashamed. I should walk down the street and have people shouting 'Fatty'. That's what I want, to get me out of it. In supermarkets, the really fattening stuff should be behind a really thin door. Shops should be full of salads but if you want to get to the pies and cakes, you've got to crawl through a little tube." [Telegraph]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Eighth Wonder, an action-adventure movie described as a globe-spanning archeological thriller like Raiders Of The Lost Ark meets the Bourne films. You know what would truly be wondrous? If Nicole's forehead moved. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Madame Sarkozy, aka Carla Bruni, performed on Later… With Jools Holland, appearing alongside Metallica and Kings Of Leon. Sigh. Laura Bush never rocks out on TV. [BBC News]
• Last week, Los Angeles International Airport Police used a "decoy" Jamie Lynn Spears to fool the paparazzi; now somebody is in trouble. LAX Spokesman Albert Rodriguez says: "It is not the policy or practice for Airport Police to provide a celebrity decoy. Los Angeles World Airports policy prohibits special courtesies to be provided to celebrities." But seriously, if the girl has a baby and can't get through the airport without being followed, what are her options? Going Kanye West on mothertruckers? [Yahoo News]
• Oh gawd: Gwyneth Paltrow tells Oprah, "I just cannot diet. It's worth it to me to do that extra exercise so I can eat what I want and not think about it." But she has trouble losing "these 20 extra pounds." WTF. [People]
• According to the director of one of her films, Jessica Biel saw some tiny Ferris wheel in a Hyde Park, London, and said, "Oh, it's the London Eye. I thought it would be a bit bigger." The director exclaims: "She had no fucking idea whatsoever." He seems to find her dim. [ONTD]
• It's pretty obvious that Naomi Watts is pregnant with her second kid. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Miley Cyrus's new dude is not so new, she's known him for like, 3 months. And! This isn't the first time they've gone to church together, ooooh. [Yahoo News]
• Jamie Foxx and Dancing With The Stars' Stacy Keibler were all over each other in Las Vegas over the weekend. But! The very next day, Foxx was grinding on some other blonde. [Rush & Molloy]
• A country music retirement community? I'm picturing porches full of harmonicas, banjos and washboards. In otherwords: Awesome. [UPI]
• So you know how Paris Hilton has a show, Paris Hilton's My New BFF? She claims the "winner" is actually her new best friend. "We hang out. Yeah, we're really friends. We've been having barbecues and hanging out at the house. The winner and I have been pretty low-key so far, because it is top secret right now," she says. [Reuters]
• Famed writer-illustrator Maurice Sendak celebrated his 80th birthday Monday night with Meryl Streep, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener and director Spike Jonze. (Jonze has adapted Where The Wild Things Are into a film, to be released in October 2009.) Sendak says: "Some of the problems that were mentioned in growing up in New York persist… Eighty solves nothing… So many friends were on the stage tonight and so many people I have worked with and loved — and still love. And what it did was ignite in me a feeling of wanting to continue to work." [Yahoo News]
• Sir Paul McCartney was out at an event with his new ladyfriend, Nancy Shevell, for the first time. Looking forward to the day we stop hearing about Heather Mills? [Telegraph]
• Adrianne Curry has a stalker. (?!?!?) [TMZ]
• Will all the ladies from The Girls Next Door get spinoffs? Hugh Hefner says yes! He's also amazed that the show is a success: "We thought it would be a one-season wonder." [E!]
• Michael Douglas to play a sex addict? Did you know he was rumored to be one in the '90s? [Guardian]
• Jack Nicholson, Jon Bon Jovi and Shaquille O'Neal are among 30 nominees to the New Jersey Hall of Fame. [Yahoo News]
• Take a deep breath, then check out this picture of Jocelyn Wildenstein having lunch with her boyfriend. [The.Life Files]
• "Up until Palin was selected as McCain’s running mate I felt no need to say who I thought should win in November, as long as everyone at least got out and voted for who they thought was the best choice to run this country. After Lindsay pointed out how frightening Palin is I decided that I wasn’t going to remain impartial and posted her blog on my page. That’s all. I’m English, I can’t vote here. If I could I would vote for Obama, that’s all." — Samantha Ronson. [Pop Dirt]
• "I've had sex in all 50 states. A lot of it was on a road trip I took when I was younger. [The best] was in Arizona and Colorado. Maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky. Whatever it was, it was really, really good. But as for Alaska — I’d really like a do-over on that state." — Eva Mendes. [The Sun]
• "My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever. I was making a joke and I said, 'If I was a chick, I'd [bleep] you.' He was like, 'You can't say that! Shut your mouth!'" — Josh Brolin to W. [Page Six]
• "Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases. The shari'a (Islamic religious law) refers to the mouse as 'little corrupter,' and says it is permissible to kill it in all cases. It says that mice set fire to the house, and are steered by Satan. The mouse is one of Satan's soldiers." — Saudi sheik Muhammad al-Munajid. [UPI]

The Good:
As Christian Siriano would say (first and last time, I promise), Posh looks so Audrey I can't stand it.
I'm sure it says something terrible about me that when Lauren Conrad wore this exact same Dolce & Gabbana to the Dark Knight premiere, I made her a "Bad." But somehow it works on Michelle Kwan!
I should admit here that I've never watched One Tree Hill. Yet for some reason I've always liked Sophia Bush, who always seems to look far more elegant than anyone would expect.
Lisa Leslie knows how to work her long lines.
College softball player Angela Tincher looks adorable and summery.

The Bad:
Obviously, Kate Walsh is stunning — but what's with the Malibu Barbie costume?
I feel kinda bad calling out poor Alan Thicke's wife — but then, she's not exactly trying to fly under the radar with this one.
I have the non-driver's reverence for racer Danica Patrick, and I totally get wanting to wear the most inappropriate driving shoes on your day off. But the look's just not working, and GW-style, I cannot tell a lie.
Kourtney Kardashian seems to kind of want to go classy with this one. But she's conflicted about that desire.
Brittny Gastineau is not troubled by any such conflicts. She makes her priorities clear. Also her breasts.

The Ugly:
Now here, my friends, is a dilemma. Will the prize go to:
Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson...
Fellow GND Bridget Marquardt
...or Playboy model Sara Jean Underwood?

Images via Getty

• Paris Hilton is free. We don't know why, but think we'll be forced to watch the damn press conference? On second thought, no, we think we'll ask Anna. Uh, Anna, pretty please? [TMZ]
  
• After spending $55 million spoiling her, a Page Six blind item is suggesting Devil Wears Prada actress Anne Hathaway's real estate mogul boyfriend is cheating on her. With a woman for whom he buys lingerie at Victoria's Secret? How high-low! [Page Six]
  
• Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz is 28! (Just like the average age of US!). To celebrate, Ashlee Simpson bought him a Revenge of the Jedi poster to appeal to his "inner geek." This is not as fun a gift to write about as the time John Mayer gave Jessica Simpson that thesaurus as a gift, but maybe Tolstoy was right and some couples are just HAPPY. [People]

• Bruce Willis no longer a Republican. We'd make some snarky comment about a change in tax bracket or something, but uh, seriously guys, at this point we wouldn't be surprised if Charlton Heston was next. Also, Willis thinks teachers should be paid $150,000 a year, which we totes cosign, especially since our mom is a teacher and we might need to move back in with her soon. [Politico]
• Britney Spears made out with her 38-year-old drug counselor in a pool, Sources say she has "no shame." [MSNBC]
• Liz Smith thinks Roseanne Barr should replace Rosie on The View. [NY Post]
• Hugh Hefner is not as straightforward as John Mayer is about telling his dumb blonde girlfriends they're just that: The Hef tells Elle writer Daphne Merkin instead, then tells his dumb blonde girlfriend Kendra that Merkin is a vagina wig (ok! made that part up. Just showin off our thesarus skillz! But he said something to assuage her concerns) then writes Daphne to say "Why don't you write a New Yorker story about it?" Uh, cause then we would have to read it. [Page Six]
• How do you know it's a slow news day? When Page Six runs items involving the term "Philadelphia." Thank god for Paris, right? [Page Six]