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New York, 8:19 AM
Fri Dec 18
65 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/14/09
I came out of the cafeteria and went over to the play field and saw this enormous crowd of everyone else surrounding him. I mean like, every 8th grader at that school. Since I was the only one who would stick up for him, I raced over there and got into the middle of it and found that this one boy, a big tall guy, was forcing him to EAT QUARTERS, and the kid had tears rolling down his face while he was swallowing the coins. Everyone was just standing there jeering, like it was a fucking circus sideshow act. The shock and anger I felt seeing that, to this day, still bothers me. It was just so inhumane and horrible that I felt almost unreal watching it. I don't really remember much of what happened next, probably because of that shock...I do know that I proceeded to rain holy hell down on everyone and the crowd broke up almost right away. And everybody seemed amused and exasperated at me, like I was defending an insect or something. I remember crying when I was telling my parents a couple weeks later, and learning that people can be so cruel and hateful towards each other. And for what end? Because somebody's different? I'm sorry that I can't be more eloquent, but it just sucks. It sucks so bad. I don't know how people can get a satisfaction out of being mean or a downright sociopath to other people, especially at that age. It just completely escapes me.
There was more shit to be had for him, but nothing nearly that bad. At the end of the year when he signed my yearbook, he handed it back to me and said quietly, "Thank you for being my friend." And somehow that made me feel bad, even though I had spent the last couple of months looking out for him. I don't know why.
12/14/09
12/13/09
[abcnews.go.com]
"Fed up with the bullying, Hansen [the school principal] scoured the Internet for information and spoke with school officials across the state to come up with an innovative plan.
"He started by conducting a "bully survey." Every student in the school was asked to write down the names of the bullies. Reading through the surveys, Hansen noticed the same eight names kept popping up.
"Instead of outing the bullies, Hansen used the surveys to identify the problem kids and meet with them individually. During the meetings, he worked on solving their problems individually, which often stemmed from trouble at home.
"He also got the bullies involved in extracurricular activities as a reward for good behavior.
"We knew it wasn't going to be effective to bully the bullies, so we used it as a teaching moment," Hansen said."
12/12/09
I CAN defend myself now. I can't go back in time, but it gives me a little comfort.
12/12/09
Unfortunately for them, these emotional immature attitudes, which, when thrust into the real world outside of the sandbox, carry no weight. How angry and bitter they turn into as adults! The "rules" have changed and no one told them! Because we others understand there are no "rules", no guidebooks towards life: life is not a "game" where everything is an acquisition with which to be squeezed of every last drop. How unfair life must seem to former bullies!
I chose to gain personal power through sheer, hard work and my own achievements. I do not stand on the shoulders of others, but became independent in thought, through knowledge, which has given me much empathy and understanding. That is true strength—an unassailable sense of self, and no one can ever take that away from someone. How frustrating that must be to those who use minor tactics and manipulations to get what they think they want!
Now that I have some power, I use it wisely, in an effort to help others. Being of service and giving back, in some way, to society, is the greatest accomplishment one can have.
So take that bullies :)
12/12/09
I distinctly remember this one time my friends and I were sitting in this open area and there was a railing up above us looking down to where we were. A few guys threw batteries at us. I don't know if you've ever thrown a double A battery or seen one thrown, but those things can do some damage. Some how I put my hand up and stopped the battery from hitting me in the face while carrying on a conversation with my friend, like some sort of Goth ninja. I still don't know how I managed that but I had a huge bruise on the palm on my hand for weeks. I'm positive it would have broken my nose if I didn't stop it.
It still hurts to think about some of the kids I had to deal with. I hated them all so much I didn't go to my 10 year high school reunion, even though I lost a ton of weight and would have blown their minds. They weren't worth the time. I hope that if I ever have children they don't have to go through what I did.
12/12/09
12/12/09
I've read through the comments, but not all of them - I stopped when I felt a lump in my throat starting to form; so many experiences mirror my own and it makes me think of all the torment I too endured over the years.
I was bullied a lot all through my formative years - in three stages by different people no less; age 3-5 by the kids at my preschool, age 6-13 by my 'classmates', teachers and principal (!) at my school, age 18-19 by a group of girls at my high school.
As to why I was bullied; I don't find that particulary important - saying that I was weird or nerdy will in my mind only justify the bullies' way of thinking. Just because I don't happen to fit in to the box of what they think is 'normal', doesn't make me any less of a person!
But that is something that has taken me a long time to realize; that recurring bullying doesn't imply that there is something wrong with me/something about my personality that justifies people bullying me.
Nevertheless, the mental scars from being a victim for so long will never truly go away (hello, insecurities and fear of rejection!), and that's why I almost cried while reading through the comments...
12/12/09
12/12/09
12/12/09
I would like to say that I was all empathetic toward those who were weaker than me and more sensitive and shit, but no, instead I dealt with it by turning around and bullying others. If I thought someone was weirder than me, I went after her, if only because it took the pressure off me.
The whole thing makes me terribly sad.
12/14/09
12/14/09
And also, thanks. :)
12/12/09
12/12/09
12/11/09
12/12/09
I never went back to them for help. Not even when I probably should have. Instead, I just dealt with it (poorly) on my own.
12/11/09
Somewhere in there I developed this intense fear of rejection that plagues me to this day. Going to college has been really hard for me because it is really difficult for me to make friends. I'm pretty easy-going, but I find it INCREDIBLY hard to reach out to people and say, "Do you want to hang out sometime?" I've made friends through things like stage crew, going to ska shows, and my summer job, where you're literally spending hours with people and it's pretty much your life, so it's hard for me to start a friendship with somebody I just know from class or something. And I convince myself that I'd rather sit at home alone than risk spending time with people I won't end up liking or worse, who won't like me.
The first time I remember feeling these things is in high school, but I can't quite remember why. I think I just remember feeling like people wouldn't like me, that I can't tell stories well or have nothing interesting to say or I tell awful jokes (and I tell them badly). I've kind of started to embrace my loser-identity, and I don't know if it's empowering or sad. I've made a few friends in college, but I only know one person with whom I'm comfortable enough to call randomly and ask if she wants to hang out. There were so many people in middle school and high school who I were my good friends at one moment and would say and do these really hurtful things in the next, that I guess it's really stunted me in the social/friendships department. Generally I'm okay and I've grown from it now, but sometimes the insecurity is just crippling.
12/11/09
Even if people are nice in class, it's hard to hold onto people from semester to semester, especially if they're in a different track, and I worry I'll come off boring(I'm bad at telling jokes, too) or worse, the person I try to befriend in class won't like me.
It saddens me to think that, for most people, it only gets more difficult to make real friends or bond w/ people as you get older....as if it isn't hard enough when you're in your teens and twenties.
12/12/09
12/12/09
hearting both of you. I remember within the last few months there was an article on here about how hard it is to make friends after college and I didn't know how to comment without sounding whiny: what about those of us who have trouble making/keeping friends IN college?
12/11/09
12/11/09
Since we seem to be telling personal stories on this thread:
People who tried to bully me got punched hard, right away. So, I was not bullied but neither was I a bullier. I was "that psycho girl you'd better not mess with."
I still have a short temper, but I've been using my words like a good girl for over 30 years now.
12/12/09
He continued to pick on me, and I was pegged as the next school shooter :/ I can never figure out how to respond to make it stop. I'm glad I'm away from high school and junior high.
12/14/09
But in high school was where I was expecting the worst of it. I saw some of my friends and peers getting absolutely horrible shit, and I was terrified something like that would happen to me. But for some reason, people pretty much left me alone. I had friends, and a reasonably average time, and it wasn't until I left that I realized I was perceived as "scary." I dressed in tomboyish/dark clothes and I walked around with a mean look on my face. After one semester I realized that my geometry teacher was actually afraid of me. I'm glad my faux tough bitch persona helped me out there, otherwise I could have had a really terrible time of it. Understatement of the millenium, but we bigger girls don't usually have an easy time of it when we're injected into an environment with 2,500 other teenagers.
12/14/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
There are other former unpopular people, however, who still have a chip on their shoulder from that time. They think of themselves as the Smart and/or Nice Girls (TM) who's better than all the popular kids, because popular to them equals vapid and superficial. In the meantime, their behavior is just as bad as the stereotypical Mean Girl, except that it's more passive aggressive. They think they can get away with it because they think their targets are too stupid to understand, and why, everyone thinks that these former unpopular kids are SO NICE.
12/12/09