That's not why it's inherently disproportionate. We talk about this on jezebel all the time - the delusional things men think about women who dress a certain way. What are they thinking about the girls who shower with them? That these girls are available? That they must be whores if they get naked in front of just any guy any time.
You may think it was a nonsexual experience for you, and the guys might have claimed it to be. But guess what. Guys lie. Guys don't share their emotions. Guys don't show their feelings on their face or body language if they don't want to, b/c they've been socialized to hide that since they were toddlers.
Maybe if I didn't have a history of sexual abuse i wouldn't be this cynical about guys, but i do and this is how I feel about co-ed bathrooms. I think it's a threatening environment for girls and it's sexual harrasment when some RAs and floor meetings try to force reluctant girls to "just grow up" and go along with the co-ed bathroom policy.
You know, I've noticed that it's all so very admirable when a white, male actor chooses to shun award ceremonies or refuses to pander to the Hollywood elite for awards. I think much of the vitriol towards Mo'Nique is because she's a black woman who's essentially telling Hollywood to go fuck itself. And it would seem that folks don't cotton to black gals being all uppity like that. Mo'Nique should just be grateful, right? But why? Hollywood did not and does not give a shit about black actors. Mo'Nique winning this award will not change that...and I'm glad she knows it. Every year or so, they parade people of color out like symbols of diversity, but NOTHING changes on the screen. I'm still fucking looking at Gossip Girls and magazine ads without a single person of color on the page. Fuck a symbol...I want HOLLYWOOD to change. Tokenizing our contributions with a few strategically given awards and pats on the head doesn't change the face of Hollywood. And in the end, Mo'Nique will likely be back where she started. However, she won't have compromised herself for the sake of an award and her REAL fans will love her just the same.
We only have coed bathrooms on the one coed floor in my dorm, and we're the first to do so (I go to a conservative Southern school where my dorm is the "weird" dorm). I live on the girls' floor because it's way more quiet, but I basically sleep in my boyfriend's room and use the coed bathroom. It doesn't really bother me, except for when guys pee with the door open. It's probably because I'm just not used to the concept of urinals, but it always surprises me!
I am with all those who would hate a co-ed bathroom....and for the record, it might just be the guys I was around in college, but the girls bathrooms were cleaner....and girls actually washed their hands after using the toilet.
Good god, this is like my dream: to be okay with communal nudity and bodily functions. I feel like I should be, and I really WANT to be, but I'm the sort of person who runs the tap when I pee and pulls my shirt down to cover my ass when I change in the locker room.
The only time I've ever been naked in front of someone I wasn't biologically related to or having sex with was while backpacking in Thailand. I was traveling with an extremely liberal pro-naked kinda gal, and since it was hot as fuck and we weren't paying for rooms with AC, we'd walk around in the nude unless we had to go somewhere, so we didn't sweat up our clothes.
This, however, ended promptly when she opened the door to a male neighbor one night while I was face down, on the bed reading wearing nothing at all. I immediately started wearing clothes at all times and might still be traumatized.
I've been in a tremendous amount of pain recently:
I have severe TMJ (Jaw disorder if you don't know) which on its own creates a devastating effect, combined with a whip-lash ridden neck and there is not much you can do to stop the debilitating tension and migraine headaches.
My teeth chip bits of others off, lash my tongue, its so awful. The pain is immobilizing.
LUCKILY, I have a one of the most skilled doctors when it concerns botox,Dr. Fredrick Brandt, (yes he has a skin line) that I have known since I was a child and I had a huge amount of *strictly medical botox that was injected into the muscles in my jaw, into the sides of my head to my temporal muscles (all along the sides of my head, above the ear and farther back) and into my neck (the sides, the scalene muscles).
Yet insurance does not recognize this and it likely would be taxed. That would be horrible. In-door tanning does SERIOUS damage and causes skin cancer, botox wears off after 4-6 months and cause very little long term damage to a micro-minuscule fraction of the population that receives it.
The treatment I had was very pricey and necessary and WONDERFUL. Otherwise I would grind off all my own teeth. I've done damage to the back, but hopefully this will stop the front.
If it is not recognized as medically necessary or a viable treatment by the American Medical Association it WILL BE taxed. It takes a long long time for a drug to be approved for a treatment of a condition.
I've been thinking about this all night, and have come to the conclusion that, for me, there is a massive difference between communal nudity and communal showering.
The former doesn't bother me at all; the latter, if I had to do it every day, really, really would. It has nothing to do with male/female, but with the fact that I like my privacy, full-stop.
Co-ed bathrooms with individual showers bother me not at all, for the record.
I clicked through to the ear-candling video because I've been curious about the process ever since I worked at a Wild Oats. Huh. Looks exactly like you'd expect.
But I was struck by how naturally gorgeous Jessica Simpson looked with no makeup and a burning thingie in her ear. Go, girl!
@gangey: The JS hate is ridonk. She's sweet, cute, and harmless.
If MY hairdresser gave me an ear-candle kit, you bet your ass I'd be on YT with it. WTF, who wouldn't?
Shit, I remember one awesome Jez editor talking about garlic up her candydish for.. uh, scientific purposes, and another recounting a 5day romance with a lost tampon... but Jessica Simpson gets the "Wtf are you posting this shit for?" treatment?
Over the hate, I say. Unless its girl hate just for the sake of girl hate.
My freshman year of college, we did not have co-ed bathrooms, but girls would frequently let guys use the ones on our floors. No one minded on the occasions that someone who had a guy visiting escorted them into the bathroom, but I, and several other people, DID mind when girls would let whatever wasted guy they had picked up at the bar wander in. Nothing is more disconcerting than walking out of a shower in a towel at 2am and finding a drunk guy propping himself up with one hand oggling you. And honestly, I think the amount of drinking that goes on in dorms makes the co-ed bathroom thing a whole lot less innocent
I lived on the floor of a dorm where I was the ONLY woman. There was a womans bathroom, but yes, all the guys used it constantly. it was a very small bathroom, and uncomfortable to say the least to get out of the shower and there be some guy doing his business with a newspaper spread out all over the flooor in the stall.
Go to Abracadabra and buy a Santa's helper outfit.
Points for not directing the reader to the tiresome Frederics of Hollywood, but the result is unfortunately the same: tacky is never cute. And cute is never truly sexy. It may seem so at first, but it is not. Unless one considers the Tila Tequila type is the pinnacle of sexy. And I suppose for some male demographics that's just harmlessly frisky enough; but truly sexy? Sexy it is not. And if our sex experts can't tell the difference, we are in a dire, DIRE state of social trouble.
I can't think of a more trite gag than greeting my lover in a holiday-themed boudouir outfit, exclaiming SURPRISE.
A surprise, it is not!
I wasn't expecting Ashley to reveal all of her trademark bedroom secrets. However, at least, a brief consultation of the dictionary is a fair expectation.
I'm not a fan of co-ed bathrooms, though I appreciate what they can do, in theory (demistify women and men, tach guys that everyone poops). But if a man follows me into a public washroom in, say, a mall, I want that to be a red flag for me or anyone else who sees. Sorry, maybe I'm sexist, maybe I'm paranoid, but if so many men are willing to yell at women and grope them in public, what are they going to do when your pants are around your ankles?
@Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: You have a valid point. I worked in a dept. at my uni that took up one floor of an old dorm. The bathroom was originally the bathroom for the students in the dorm and was never converted. Even though there were multiple stalls, one person used the bathroom at a time and it was the only bathroom on the floor. I had a male co-worker make some sly (but not overt) joke about the door being locked or not and it was awkward and uncomfortable.
The sad thing is, many adcademy voters (not all, but enough) don't watch all the screeners (dvds of the movies nominated). They just go by the ads they see in the trades and what their friends say. And, like all sales, the one with the most ads, wins.
I applaud Mo'nique for calling a Hollywood in it's bullshit.
@ceejeemcbeegee is not here: I remember my dad got a hold of a screener copy of Million Dollar Baby and at the time I thought, wow what a luxury for the Academy to be able to see all these films in the privacy of their own home; they must be using all the extra time to think of who they'll vote for! Psh.
It's an insult to the art if the Academy doesn't take the voting seriously.
May I ask where you got this information? Is there a statistic somewhere?
Again, I'm not saying all academy voters take their duty lightly, but it is getting rarer and rarer to find a voter who's seen every film that's in the major categories. Ads, swag bags, personal appearances, and an actors rep have a tremendous impact on the votes.
If Jay-Z has really changed his name to Shawn Knowles-Carter (as opposed to just B changing hers), then my liking for him has just increased astronomically. I kind of doubt that it's true, but if it is true, then it's awesome.
02:36 AM
You may think it was a nonsexual experience for you, and the guys might have claimed it to be. But guess what. Guys lie. Guys don't share their emotions. Guys don't show their feelings on their face or body language if they don't want to, b/c they've been socialized to hide that since they were toddlers.
Maybe if I didn't have a history of sexual abuse i wouldn't be this cynical about guys, but i do and this is how I feel about co-ed bathrooms. I think it's a threatening environment for girls and it's sexual harrasment when some RAs and floor meetings try to force reluctant girls to "just grow up" and go along with the co-ed bathroom policy.
01:40 AM
01:09 AM
12:35 AM
So all that said....where is the photo from?
12:10 AM
The only time I've ever been naked in front of someone I wasn't biologically related to or having sex with was while backpacking in Thailand. I was traveling with an extremely liberal pro-naked kinda gal, and since it was hot as fuck and we weren't paying for rooms with AC, we'd walk around in the nude unless we had to go somewhere, so we didn't sweat up our clothes.
This, however, ended promptly when she opened the door to a male neighbor one night while I was face down, on the bed reading wearing nothing at all. I immediately started wearing clothes at all times and might still be traumatized.
12/21/09
I've been in a tremendous amount of pain recently:
I have severe TMJ (Jaw disorder if you don't know) which on its own creates a devastating effect, combined with a whip-lash ridden neck and there is not much you can do to stop the debilitating tension and migraine headaches.
My teeth chip bits of others off, lash my tongue, its so awful. The pain is immobilizing.
LUCKILY, I have a one of the most skilled doctors when it concerns botox,Dr. Fredrick Brandt, (yes he has a skin line) that I have known since I was a child and I had a huge amount of *strictly medical botox that was injected into the muscles in my jaw, into the sides of my head to my temporal muscles (all along the sides of my head, above the ear and farther back) and into my neck (the sides, the scalene muscles).
Yet insurance does not recognize this and it likely would be taxed. That would be horrible. In-door tanning does SERIOUS damage and causes skin cancer, botox wears off after 4-6 months and cause very little long term damage to a micro-minuscule fraction of the population that receives it.
The treatment I had was very pricey and necessary and WONDERFUL. Otherwise I would grind off all my own teeth. I've done damage to the back, but hopefully this will stop the front.
If it is not recognized as medically necessary or a viable treatment by the American Medical Association it WILL BE taxed. It takes a long long time for a drug to be approved for a treatment of a condition.
12/21/09
The former doesn't bother me at all; the latter, if I had to do it every day, really, really would. It has nothing to do with male/female, but with the fact that I like my privacy, full-stop.
Co-ed bathrooms with individual showers bother me not at all, for the record.
12/21/09
But I was struck by how naturally gorgeous Jessica Simpson looked with no makeup and a burning thingie in her ear. Go, girl!
01:45 AM
If MY hairdresser gave me an ear-candle kit, you bet your ass I'd be on YT with it. WTF, who wouldn't?
Shit, I remember one awesome Jez editor talking about garlic up her candydish for.. uh, scientific purposes, and another recounting a 5day romance with a lost tampon... but Jessica Simpson gets the "Wtf are you posting this shit for?" treatment?
Over the hate, I say. Unless its girl hate just for the sake of girl hate.
12/21/09
12/21/09
12/21/09
12/21/09
Points for not directing the reader to the tiresome Frederics of Hollywood, but the result is unfortunately the same: tacky is never cute. And cute is never truly sexy. It may seem so at first, but it is not. Unless one considers the Tila Tequila type is the pinnacle of sexy. And I suppose for some male demographics that's just harmlessly frisky enough; but truly sexy? Sexy it is not. And if our sex experts can't tell the difference, we are in a dire, DIRE state of social trouble.
I can't think of a more trite gag than greeting my lover in a holiday-themed boudouir outfit, exclaiming SURPRISE.
A surprise, it is not!
I wasn't expecting Ashley to reveal all of her trademark bedroom secrets. However, at least, a brief consultation of the dictionary is a fair expectation.
(That's not a surprise!)
12/21/09
12/21/09
12/21/09
I applaud Mo'nique for calling a Hollywood in it's bullshit.
03:00 AM
It's an insult to the art if the Academy doesn't take the voting seriously.
May I ask where you got this information? Is there a statistic somewhere?
03:23 AM
Again, I'm not saying all academy voters take their duty lightly, but it is getting rarer and rarer to find a voter who's seen every film that's in the major categories. Ads, swag bags, personal appearances, and an actors rep have a tremendous impact on the votes.
12/21/09