Jezebel 
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New York, 3:16 PM
Sat Nov 28
24 posts in the last 24 hours
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07/31/09
I think the most frightening aspect of this episode has not yet been revealed to the public. Look carefully at this child. It seems obvious by his appearance, and indeed by his behavior, that he is the craftily cloned Second Coming of Steve McQueen. Which begs the question:
What have the aliens under Denver International been doing this week, and where does Steve McQueen fit into their plans for our gradually unfolding Apocalypse?
Inquiring minds want to know.
07/31/09
07/31/09
I'm not going to blame the parents for that one, because everyone's car keys have been accessible to a hypothetical seven-year-old at some point, but... there's probably something we're missing here.
He did better than anyone would expect of a seven-year-old. Have his parents taught him to pilot a tractor, a farm truck, a riding mower even? And if so, why weren't they concerned about his ability to get the keys?
07/31/09
My father was born and raised in this town (Plain City) and in fact I was just visiting out there on Saturday (!! what are the chances). It's a very tiny tiny little town and you rarely pass other cars on the street. All of the roads are wide and straight and only have right-angle turns, so it's probably not so different from steering a car in a video game. Aside from running a stop sign (note: there are no stop lights anywhere in the town, nor are there many sidewalks), and some shaky steering, it looks like he did some okay driving for a 7-year-old and didn't run the risk of encountering many other people (except those on their way to church which would have started 30 minutes after they said his joy ride began).
Still, shame on this kid and shame on his parents for endangering others with this stupid act.
07/31/09
"This young perp thought they could get away with stealing his daddy's car...but little did he know that CRIME DOESN'T PAY."
07/31/09
07/31/09
Put me behind the wheel of a car and I'd only have the vaguest idea of which pedals to press at which times, how to use the stick (see? I don't even know what it's called..), etc. Where the hell did he learn how to do this?
Kids today.
07/31/09
07/31/09
@Senor_Macho_Solo: Not Hank Hill ... but close!
07/31/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
This story makes me irate. As if I needed one more reason to hate the Today Show...
07/31/09
07/31/09
07/31/09
As for the kid, I'd like to restate my original assertion that he's now utterly Hell bound, and might as well join a Slayer tribute band and start voting Republican now.
07/31/09
Sometimes the "boys will be boys" defense results in undue leniency, but perhaps the powers-that-be at Gawker will take a page from this kid's parents' playbook, and commute the sentences of at least the unjustly banned, and hopefully even those that may have deserved some level of disciplinary action.
07/31/09
07/31/09
This really is one of those cases where I'm pretty sure my parents would have said "We're glad you're safe, but now we kind of want to kill you."
As a side note, a 7 year old kid who happened to be black did the same thing a year or so ago, and nobody called him "cute":
http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=79097
07/31/09