• Lindsay Lohan's first collection for Ungaro has been derided by yet another industry heavyweight: Emanuel Ungaro himself. The designer, who sold the business that bears his name in 2005, says Lohan's work was "a disaster" that left him "furious." [Independent]

• Glamour editor Cindi Leive says the magazine has booked plus-size models for stories for every issue through February, including (relatively more prestigious) fashion and beauty spreads. "One of the plus-size models who was featured in our original story is in one of our two major fashion features in December, and looks amazing," added Leive. Could that be Crystal Renn? Or one of the other gaggle of naked lovelies the ladymag featured in November? [The Cut]
• Christopher Bailey is no longer the Burberry creative director. He is Burberry's chief creative officer, and don't you forget it. [WWD]
• Further layoffs at Zac Posen are rumored to be imminent. Since he eliminated his PR director on Monday, the task of handling publicity has been taken up by Posen's mom. Gucci is also said to be mulling serious layoffs. [NYDN]
• Marc Jacobs, maker of Louis Vuitton Everything: "The kennel was a bit of a joke, really." [ToL]
• Jason Wu loves to cook and bake, but macaroons had so far eluded his range of expertise. No more! Food & Wine arranged a special lesson for the designer with François Payard. It'll be the subject of an upcoming feature in the magazine. [Grub St]
• Not only did positive results for the last quarter not boost Crocs' share price — because investors took note that the surplus was largely the result of some kind of one-time tax bonus — but the maker of hideous shoes has trouble on the legal front, too. Porsche is suing Crocs over its use of the brand Cayman, which Porsche holds as a trademark in Germany. Apparently Porsche thinks there might be some confusion over the $29.99 Cayman sandal, and a $51,000 Porsche Cayman. [Footnoted]
• Prabal Gurung designed a festive red dress with poufy asymmetrical shoulders for Oprah to wear on the cover of the December issue of her magazine. Ellen, in a white suit, strikes a pose next to her fellow talkshow host. Gurung calls Oprah "a role model, a mentor, a leader and a constant source of inspiration." [People]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier's collection for Target will, he says, "shock parents, shock teachers." Perhaps not as much as his unwitting floor show at the Standard hotel, which has windows overlooking the High Line and Chelsea. "So, I am in the bedroom where it is an exhibitionist event!" says Gaultier. "I did not know that, so I did exhibition without knowing what I was doing. I did not know people could see. But, nobody was looking. It's quite hilarious, it's excellent." [The Cut]
• Heidi Klum will be the face of Ann Taylor's holiday collection. The company is struggling to reinvent itself after season upon season of declining sales and clothes that even the CEO has admitted were lacking in the design department. Photographer Peter Lindbergh and supermodel Klum are, apparently, part of the rejuvenation plan. [People]
• Someone is licensing John Lennon's artwork for a clothing collection. Imagine that! [UPI]
• Weirdest fashion story ever? German Vogue has an editorial featuring Lost's Jorge Garcia and Christie Brinkley. Bruce Weber shot it in Montauk. [Fashionista]
• Wow. Brazilian Vogue might just be worse than American Vogue. [MadeinBrazil]
• Adam Lippes has foot-in-mouth disease. After previously telling reporters that "it's rare to find an intern — especially one from a fashion school — that has good style," two of his workers came to him to suggest that he might, you know, apologize. He pooh-poohed them ("I was like, 'I don't mean THESE interns!'"), then reconsidered. He assembled the intern crowd, and told them "I just meant, like, fashion students." They seemed skeptical. "Meanwhile, one of them is wearing silver boots up to here and is a guy. 'Not you! Those boots are great.' But it was fine." Sure it was. The cherry on top: "Some of my interns dress fantastically." [The Cut]
• Diesel, which stopped selling its jeans in Macy's in 2005 to up its brand value, is reportedly in negotiations to sell a lower-priced line exclusively through the mega-retailer. "If they keep going this route, they'll end up like Levi's," says one person inside the company. [NYPost]
• Meanwhile, Macy's forecasts its same-store sales to fall 1-2% for the fourth quarter. Shares fell 3.4% in the day's trading. [Reuters]
• If you've ever wanted to experience the world of malodorous anguish and foot pain that is fashion blogging, here's your chance to submit to a humiliating public competition and vote! [Grazia]
• The Shophound thinks the clerks at New York's new Banana Republic are way too friendly. [Shophound]
• American Apparel's quarterly profits rose 83%, to $4.2 million, but investors aren't buying it. The stock price sank 4.6%, to $2.49. [NYPost]
• Italian cashmere producer Brunello Cucinelli runs a factory with long lunch breaks, no timeclocks, and posted "rules" are quotes from philosophers and writers. He thinks he can afford to be both a great boss and a good businessman, and his company's revenues for this year are forecast to reach 154 million Euros, which is some 7% greater than last year, even with the recession. [Reuters]
• Talbots has reportedly hired outside consultants to help the company, which has weathered five quarters of successive losses, refinance $225 million in debt. [NYPost]

Judson speculates that saying "eeee" makes you "start to smile" (that's apparently why we say "cheese" in photographs), and the act of smiling can make us happy, saying words with "e" sounds might make us happy as well. And other sounds can produce different feelings. Judson describes a study that found "that if you read aloud a passage full of vowels that make you scowl - the German vowel sound ü, for example - you're likely to find yourself in a worse mood than if you read a story similar in content but without any instances of ü. Similarly, saying ü over and over again generates more feelings of ill will than repeating a or o."

So do languages with more a than ü for happier speakers? Certainly Italians, with all their -a and -o endings, are said to be garrulous and fun-loving, Germans more dour. But these are just stereotypes, and as someone whose second language is, um, Latin, I'm not qualified to judge the happy-making potential of any spoken tongue besides English. Perhaps bilingual commenters can help me out with this — do you find that you're jollier in one language than another? Relatedly, are some words funnier or sadder than others, irrespective of their meaning? I know a lot of people who find "oi" sounds gross, as in "moist" and "ointment." And I'm in agreement with Judson that "e" sounds are kind of funny — try saying "beekeeper" a bunch of times. But I'm not sure I can think of any words that evoke sorrow, except, with its low moan of an ending, "sorrow" itself.

A Language Of Smiles [NYT]

• A new study shows that most female child molesters were victims of sexual abuse themselves. • Jordan has charged a man who allegedly killed his sister for having an extramarital affair. • Stephanie Pearl-McPhee calls herself the "yarn harlot" and keeps an eponymous blog about knitting. • Some conservative British politicians want to bar lesbians from receiving IVF treatment unless the potential child would have a "male role model" involved. • In the U.S., paid maternity leave is a luxury, not a right. "The United States provides the fewest maternity leave benefits in both length of leave and paid time off," when compared to nineteen equally rich countries, according to Time. • Overheard at the gay rodeo: "This is an all-American sport, and we are all-American people." • Queen Elizabeth tops the list of Live Science's 10 Most Powerful Modern Women Leaders. Also included: Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, Angela Merkel, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf.