[Savannah, October 19. Image via Getty]

SAVANNAH, GA - OCTOBER 19: Brittany Martin (C), the wife of Staff Sgt. Vernon Martin, and his mother Connie Brown (L) watches his casket being loaded into a hearse outside St. John's Baptist Church after his funeral service on October 19, 2009 in Savannah, Georgia. Martin, 25, of Savannah, died Oct. 3 in Kamdesh, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when enemy forces attacked their contingency outpost with small arms, rocket-propelled grenade and indirect fires. (Photo by Stephen Morton/Getty Images)

[Mtskheta, Georgia; October 14. Image via Getty]

A woman kisses an ancien cross during the Mtskhetoba celebration in honor of the Orthodox monastery in Mtskheta, some 20 kms outside Tbilisi, on October 14, 2009. AFP PHOTO / VANO SHLAMOV (Photo credit should read VANO SHLAMOV/AFP/Getty Images)

[Austell, Georgia; September 22. Image via Getty]

AUSTELL, GA - SEPTEMBER 22: Manuel Enriquez (L) holds her daughter'sJanett Enriquez, 5, hand as they stand near the flooding Perkerson Mill Road September 22, 2009 in Austell, Georgia. Flooding due to heavy rain forced people out of their homes and closed hundreds of streets in Cobb County including Austell, Georgia. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue declared a State of Emergency for 17 Georgia countries including Cobb County where Austell is located. (Photo by Jessica McGowan/Getty Images)

• The details of Fashion's Night Out — aka Anna Wintour's Plan To Save Retail — have been announced. Over 700 stores in all five boroughs will be participating in events that range from sewing circles to cook-ins to rock shows:

• Celebs and designers who will be in attendance at the various festivities include Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, Francisco Costa, Manolo Blahnik, Isaac Mizrahi, Kate Mulleavy, Diane von Furstenberg, Liev Schreiber, Stephanie Seymour, and Anna Wintour herself. Although all the tee shirt customization and free music will be enough to drag us around to at least a few stores come September 10, we're also tremendously excited by the idea of taking salsa lessons taught by Juan Carlos Obando. [WWD]
• As is to be expected, Vogue is apparently attracting a lot of attention from cost-cutting consultants McKinsey. Dare we hope that McKinsey will shake things up at the tired mag, and shake them hard? In other Condé Nast news, Teen Vogue's very stylish accessories editor, Taylor Tomasi Hill, is leaving to take a position at Marie Claire. There are no plans to replace her. [Fashionista]
• Agent Provocateur is launching a new line of super-expensive lingerie it's calling couture. Agent Provocateur Soirée will launch with an in-season show at New York Fashion Week on September 9, and hit stores in November. Prices top £2450. [Elle UK]
• The second issue of Love is out, and it turns out the preview image that surfaced online last month actually is one of the covers — editor Katie Grand chose Alex Hartley, and 18-year-old bass player she found on the Internet, for one cover, and Sting spawn Coco Summer for the other. [Fashionologie]
• Katie Grand had 35 guests at her recent wedding. Thirty-five guests who finished 28 bottles of vodka. Our kid of woman. [ToL]
• Dasha Zhukova, the 28-year-old heiress, art gallerist, and Grand's replacement editor at Pop, is rumored to be pregnant by her 42-year-old boyfriend, Roman Abramovich. [P6]
• An image of Scarlett Johansson which might be part of the ad campaign for a Dolce & Gabbana perfume launching later this year has leaked. The perfume is called Rose The One, and the picture is very soft and rosy looking, plus Johansson is already confirmed to be the face of the scent, both of which are signs that point to yes. [SassyBella]
• Tori Spelling has launched a children's clothing range. Little Maven will cost $26-$88, and is designed for kids up to 4 years of age. [Daily Mail]
• Naomi Campbell and Queen Rania of Jordan were introduced while holidaying in the south of France. There's no word on what they discussed upon meeting. [Daily Mail]
• The mayor of Kennesaw, Georgia, which is male model Sean O'Pry's hometown, is today giving the 20-year-old an official proclamation, because O'Pry speaks highly of Kennesaw in the interviews he does between gigs for Armani and Calvin Klein. [P6]
• Comme des Garçons and Converse are giving their collaboration wider distribution this fall. Four styles of the Comme des Garçons-designed sneakers will go on sale in select cities at the end of this month, and worldwide in October, for $100 a pop. [WWD]
• When asked about the person who irrevocably changed the way she looked at fashion, Heidi Klum generously named Karl Lagerfeld, despite the designer's stated dislike of her. [Newsweek]
• Everybody is wearing Lolita glasses. And by everybody, we mean Madonna, Drew Barrymore, Katy Perry, Nicole Richie, Kelly Osbourne, and Kim Kardashian. Clearly we ought to be wearing them, too. Or something. [NYDN]
• If you are a man who wants to buy Levi's jeans that are "re-created using the original techniques from 1873" for $395, you can do so, at J. Crew's downtown men's stores. [WWD]
• Riam Dean, the young woman who was asked to work in the stockroom by Abercrombie & Fitch because of her prosthetic arm, has sold the full, terrible story of her experience of discrimination to the Daily Mail. Dean says the £9,000 she won from the company in damages hasn't covered her legal fees. [Daily Mail]
• Hats are back, again. This story gets re-written every six months. [WSJ]
• The alligator "harvest" begins later on this month in Florida, but wildlife experts expect the number of the creatures that will end up as purses this year to be drastically reduced: while revenue from alligator skins topped $71 million in Florida in 2007, a mere $10 million is this year's industry estimate. What doesn't make sense about all these stories about exotic skins, whether alligator, crocodile, or python, losing their marketplace appeal, is the fact that among luxury categories, the bridge products — wallets, keychains, and other "aspirational" branded baubles — are the ones that are experiencing the steepest decline in sales. Brands from Hermès to Louis Vuitton have reported that their most expensive offerings, like exotic skinned bags, are still experiencing strong sales — if not actually leading sales across the whole brand. So what gives? Are the pythons and gators going to be left to their own devices in the Everglades this season, or not? [MSNBC]
• H&M's same-store sales fell 3% on last year during the month of July; analysts had expected a more modest 1% drop, since the fast fashion chain has been performing relatively well in the recession so far. [Reuters]
• Following another disastrous quarterly result, Abercrombie has announced it plans to further cut its prices. [WSJ]
• Escada USA filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in New York, one day after the German parent company opened bankruptcy proceedings there. [WWD]

[Tskhinvali, South Ossetia; August 9. Image via Getty]

A South Ossetian woman expresses her grief beside the grave of a relative killed in the August 2008 conflict, in Tskhinvali on August 9, 2009. Georgia and Russia traded fierce accusations as competing ceremonies were held to mark the first anniversary of their war that shook the Caucasus region and re-ignited Cold War-era tensions. AFP PHOTO / Dmitry KOSTYUKOV (Photo credit should read DMITRY KOSTYUKOV/AFP/Getty Images)

• One of Annie Leibovitz's Louis Vuitton ads with astronauts Sally Ride, Buzz Aldrin, and Jim Lovell is out. (Gorby was busy that weekend.) [WWD]
• Karl Lagerfeld: "Ballet is an extraordinary art: this torture of the body to make something so graceful. All this hard work, to look effortless."

• "Swans, they are the meanest animals in the world, you know. I had problems with them as a child. They hate children. I was caught by one, so I know. The idea of swans is lovely, and they have a beautiful shape, but they seem more romantic than they in fact are. I don't think really they die like this. They just drop dead, hmm? But who wants to see that?"[Guardian]
• Christian Lacroix has vowed to keep his 22-year-old label alive even as it has declared bankruptcy, but its July couture presentation is in doubt. [WWD]
• Miranda Kerr is nude on the cover of the June Rolling Stone — in Australia. Because she cares about the environment. [News.com.au]
• Whichever "fellow student" told the Daily Mail "The end of year exams are a big deal at Cambridge University and we've all spent weeks revising. I don't know how she has managed to fit any revision into her busy social life," is certainly no "friend" to model/student Lily Cole. But then, if Lily Cole didn't want tabloid attention, she might not walk around London with her boyfriend wearing a gold ring on the ring finger of her left hand. [Daily Mail]
• Everybody you might care slightly about is getting a new fragrance this year. Kate Moss is naming hers "Vintage." [WWD]
• Kind of like the departed Mr. Blackwell — or Republican trickster Roger Stone — but only for hats, Luton, England milliner Philip Wright releases an annual list of the best celebrity hat-wearers. This year, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy topped it, for her "neat, chic, pill box hat" which "was a supreme example of classic simplicity at its best - a stylish understatement which captured the attention of the world's media." She beat the Queen. [Times of London]
• I've always thought that custom-made clothing, at the right price point, could and should be a bigger part of the apparel market than it is. Because all of us have issues with the fit of standardized sizes — who doesn't have a wardrobe half full of shirts that are tight in the shoulders but loose at the waist, pants with the wrong crotch depth, and skirts that don't move quite right when you walk. But all I want to know about this Ryan Taylor, aka "Taylor the Tailor", of Los Angeles, who supposedly takes his clients' measurements and turns out custom-fitted clothing in a couple days at prices "competitive with brand name department stores" is: where does he manufacture? (A question which, funnily enough, CNN seems to have no interest in.) Because everything I know about fashion leads me to suspect that level of service is only possible if you're e-mailing those customer measurements to a guy in Malaysia. Or Hong Kong. [CNN]
• A lone man pulled off an $8.5 million jewelry heist at Chopard in the Place Vendôme in Paris. [CBS]
• A study in the U.K. found that while women make up 52% of the fashion industry's workforce, they are paid 15% less than their male counterparts, and have only 37% of the top jobs. In New York, anecdotally, I've heard from many a design assistant toiling in the trenches of a major brand that, even though here as there the industry is largely female, things like on-site daycare are nonexistent. [Independent]
• Gilt Groupe, the members-only sample sale site, sponsored Zac Posen's resort show, which is happening tonight. Interesting. [WWD]
• Shares in the national mall chain Wet Seal fell 17% in Friday's trading, following the announcement of poor first quarterly results. Same-store sales fell by 7.3%, and even though it beat analysts' expectations by turning a $5 million profit during the quarter, news that the company does not expect to meet profit forecasts in the next quarter was enough to set the stock price sliding. [The Street]
• Lord & Taylor is closing one of its 47 stores nationwide. The Landmark Mall in Alexandria, Virginia, will no longer boast a Lord & Taylor as an anchor tenant after July 12. Both Landmark Mall and its parent company, General Growth Properties, have filed for bankruptcy protection. [WSJ]
• The U.S. division of Dutch brand Oilily filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and closed its Madison Avenue store. This follows the bankruptcy of its parent company in Hollard nearly two months ago. [Crain's]
• A statement from Wells Fargo, the principal creditor of the bankrupt Hartmarx company, which owns the menswear brands Hickey Freeman and Hart Schaffner Marx, has put Hartmarx's potential deal with private equity firm Emerisque in doubt. Emerisque's bid of $119 million for the business had been accepted by Hartmarx last week, but Wells Fargo, which is owed $114 million, said that with only $70 million of the bid being cash it "fails to provide adequate value to Hartmarx lenders." Wells Fargo also objects to the bid on the grounds that the offer "does not even ensure that Emerisque will continue running Hartmarx's business operations after the acquisition," something which Emerisque had pledged to do. The bankruptcy court is scheduled to hear objections to the bid today. [Chicago Tribune]
• Mango might do most of its business in Spain, but that won't prevent it from opening a store this September in Irbil, the capital of the Kurdish region of Iraq and the country's third-largest city. [Times of London]
• Benetton's seven stores in Georgia closed in protest and Georgian politicians voiced thunderous objections to the chain's decision to open an outpost in Sukhumi, the capital of the disputed Black Sea region of Abkhazia. Tbilisi regards Abkhazia as a breakaway province; the EU and NATO concur; Russia recognizes its independence; 1.5 million Russian tourists visit Sukhumi every year. No doubt lured as much by the thought of all those rubles as by the international goodwill it advertises, Benetton has nonetheless been forced to abandon its plans to open the store. [WSJ]

The bill, titled the "Ethical Treatment of Human Embryos Act," is the most sweeping state legislation on fertility procedures introduced since Suleman gave birth to her octuplets in January, according to the Wall Street Journal. Republican state Senator Ralph T. Hudgens, one of the sponsors of the bill, said in an interview:

Nadya Suleman is going to cost the state of California millions of dollars over the years; the taxpayers are going to have to fund the 14 children she has ... I don't want that to happen in Georgia.

The proposed bill would limit the number of embryos implanted in a woman at one time to two, or three for women over 40. It also goes a step further, with limitations on the number of embryos created in the lab to the number being implanted. This would essentially eliminate a woman's ability to freeze her eggs, which is unsurprising, considering the bill was drafted in part by the Georgia Right to Life organization. The group's president, Daniel Becker, tells the Journal, "To us it's a human-rights issue," adding that embryos deserve legal protection "as living human beings and not as property."

Several scientific organizations are opposed to the bill because it would end embryo freezing, and because they say in some cases it's necessary to implant more than two or three embryos. Sean Tipton of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine says the lawmakers "don't understand the complicated medicine behind it." Currently, the organization urges doctors to transfer only two embryos at a time into patients under 35, and no more than five in a woman over 40, but the guidelines aren't mandatory.

Resolve, a national fertility association, also opposes the bill. Executive Director Barbara Collura says: "It's the right of the person who has gone through this procedure to decide what they can do with those embryos, not their doctor, and certainly not the government."

While up to this point, we've watched the Nadya Suleman story turn into a tabloid media circus, this legislation marks the beginning of the octuplets' birth spurring actual legal changes. Georgia lawmakers point out that other countries, such as Britain, already limit the number of embryos transferred per cycle. Other countries have found ways to reducing risky multiple births, but they've also adopted policies that don't severely limit women's rights. Hopefully in the U.S., as more states introduce limits on embryo transfers inspired by Nadya Suleman, lawmakers will consult with doctors and create legislation backed by fertility specialists that doesn't also seek to limit reproductive rights.

In-Vitro Fertilization Limit Is Sought [The Wall Street Journal]
Ethical Treatment Of Human Embryos Act [Georgia General Assembly]

• Obama's announced his transition team co-chairs — the folks that will help pave the way for his Administration, not a shadow Cabinet — and it includes John Podesta, Pete Rouse (Obama's Senate Chief of Staff) and Valerie Garrett. The advisory board to the co-chairs includes former EPA head Carol Browner; former Commerce Secretary William Daley; former transportation secretary Federico Peña; Obama national security adviser Susan Rice; and Governor Janet Napolitano. Don't expect to see those names on a future list of official appointments, though. [Washington Post]
• Obama's first official appointment will, however, be Congressman Rahm Emanuel. [NY Times]
• Four Senate races remain undecided: Alaska and Oregon are too close to call; Minnesota is likely to have an automatic recount; and Georgia's results require a runoff. [CNN]
• But, the anti-abortion "personhood" amendment in Colorado and the abortion ban in South Dakota went down by wide margins. [Denver Post, Argus Leader]

• By the way, when the state of Missouri elected Denise Juneau to be their superintendent of public instruction, they made her the first Native American woman in the state (and probably the first in the nation) to hold statewide office. Are there any other barriers we can bulldoze this week, please? [Missoulian]
• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave a press conference to state the obvious, which is that, since the economy sucks, Democrats are going to have to set and stick to priorities. Too bad she's spent the last two years proving she knows how to roll over. [Politico]
• Russian President Dmitry Medvedev went out of his way to prove Senator Joe Biden right, threatening to escalate a nuclear standoff with the U.S. in Eastern Europe if Obama moves forward with Bush's missile defense shield there. Cuban Missile Crisis anyone? Bueller? [Washington Post]
• They might be Bushies at heart — and partially responsible for the catastrophe that is the Iraq War and the potential new nuclear standoff for Russia — but electing our first African-American President choked up Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, too. [CNN, Huffington Post]
• More than 70 percent of unmarried women voted for Obama yesterday, but half of the married ones went for McCain. Can married women please fill the rest of us in on what changes with a ring? [US News & World Report]
• More than 130 million Americans turned out to vote yesterday, or about 64% of eligible voters, making it the biggest election ever and the higher voter turnout in a long damn time. [Politico]
• The ACLU, along with the Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, have filed a brief with the California Supreme Court arguing that it should rule Proposition 8 invalid if it officially passes. They argue that, since Prop 8 invalidates another section of California's constitution, it requires greater legislative scrutiny than the average ballot initiative. Good luck! [ACLU]

After midnight
I got caught up in other threads, but the panel continued apace.

JASON: God. What were you thinking about when you woke up this morning. Doesn't it seem a decade ago?
SPENCER: What seems like a decade ago was the most despicably corrupt and abusive and ignorant and destructive and cynical and amoral administration in history, and yet it won't end for almost three months.
JASON: Picking through it's entrails will take even longer.
SPENCER: "...we may not get there in one year or in one term, but America I promise you, we as a people will get there." HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
[ Latoya has entered the room]
SPENCER: LATOYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA
LATOYA: Hell yes we can!
What's up y'all. Sorry so late, we got to drinking and crying...you know how it goes
SPENCER: Have you heard these MLK cadences and references in the victory speech?
MEGAN: Um, all the Lincoln stuff?
LATOYA: Yes, but I'm a bit too overwhelmed to process right now. I keep getting text messages from people who never wanted to vote, who never voted before, who felt so disengaged from politics - they feel a part of this too. It's sensory overload.
SPENCER: YES — WE — CAN. The return of it, through redemption.
MEGAN: It really is, I'm not processing anymore
SPENCER: This is even better than the Denver speech. How do we not become inured to this?
JASON: About five years ago, I was sitting at Tonic with my wife and a couple of friends, and I had had a few, not a lot, and I don't know how I got onto the topic, but I remember distinctly going off on a long lamentation about what it was like to be alive in the time of my life. Because it seemed to me that so many frontiers had been reached before I was born. And it seemed like so many frontiers would be denied by an overall mean-mindedness and smallness. And I wondered that night if I would ever live to see anything in this world that truly made me feel like there was a reason for me to be alive. And I lamented the lack of faith I had in those possibilities. All I can say tonight is that I never should have doubted, and I should have kept the faith, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world for having been proven wrong.
LATOYA: It is redemption, Spencer. This blowout was the end of an era. I really feel like I am waking up to a new America tomorrow. (Now, old America could be back next week, but still.) We're all lucky, Jason.
JASON: And with that, my editor tells me that he just got invited to the Mitt Romney in 2012 Facebook group. Seems our work is never done.

11:46 ET
As they call states, I will update here, but check Barack Obama's speech in a live thread, starting when he does: around midnight.
SPENCER: The largest presidential victory since Reagan 84. For the most liberal candidate since Lyndon Johnson.
MEGAN: LBJ may have been arguably less liberal.
SPENCER: INSHALLAH! Gergen and CNN are like the victory speech will tell us how Obama will govern. And yet I recall Bush's eloquent, bipartisan and conciliatory speech from Dec 12, 2000.

11:44 ET
Arizona went for McCain, Hawai'i for Obama. Obama has 338 electoral votes to McCain's 156 at this point.

11:37 ET
Nevada went for Obama, according to MSNBC. This is really turning into a blowout. Eugene Robinson on MSNBC keeps choking up and it's making me teary. I recommend watching him.

11:33 ET
SPENCER: Guys, Obama is up by 5000 votes in North Carolina with 93 percent of the vote in.
MEGAN: Fuck yeah.

11:30 ET
SPENCER: What is that music they're playing at McCain HQ? It's like the background theme to the scene in Braveheart where William Wallace gets drawn and quartered
JASON: That could be exactly what it is, you know.

11:27 ET
John again mentions that America chose Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and his crowd boos again and McCain says, "Enough." Someone then shouts out "Sarah!" For real, this is an extremely, extremely classy speech. His supporters can't ruin that, thankfully, mostly because, for once, he won't let them.

11:25 ET
When he mentions Sarah Palin, the crowd goes wild. Jason points out that someone shouted out "Palin 2012!" at McCain's concession speech. Really?

11:21 ET
Overall, an extremely classy speech by John McCain. He shot down people booing, shouted out Madelyn Dunham, and asked his supporters to support the next President. Someone in the background is shouting, "Nobama," like, dude, what the fuck. McCain is keeping it classy. If he had been this John McCain the last couple of months, seriously, I wonder what I'd be writing right now.

11:19 ET
McCain gives his concession speech. People boo the mention of Obama's name, and when McCain admits that Obama loves this country, people shout angrily.

11:18 ET
SPENCER: Fuck this I'm going to say it. Who here can really say they felt this American since 9/11? Last time from fear, this time from hope. All after this dark night of being told we were somehow less than American. And we're WHITE.
MEGAN: Jesse Jackson is crying.
SPENCER: Jesse Jackson is crying
MEGAN: I don't know how to watch older men weep.

11:16 ET
MSNBC calls Florida for Ohio as well, and they've got Congressman John Lewis (D-GA). He's speechless, practically. I mean, for a Congressman.

11:14 ET
MSNBC gives Colorado to Obama. This is really turning into a landslide.

11:12 ET
MSNBC reports that McCain called Obama to concede.

11:06 ET
SPENCER: They said this day — say it with me — WOULD NEVER COME.
MEGAN: I don't know that I actually really, really thought it would happen until right now.

11:03 ET
Not that you were really worried at this point, but Oregon and Washington apparently went for Obama, too. Everyone is grooving to Stevie, obviously.

11:01 ET
SPENCER: THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
MEGAN: Wow.
SPENCER: The dirt is officially off of America's shoulder.

11:00 ET
California goes for Obama, which means that Obama has 275 electoral votes. HE WON!!

10:59 ET
Bill Hemmer admits what we all suspected was the Republican strategy while talking about the Virginia vote total: "This is a state that John McCain knew he had to keep the overall vote total down to beat Obama."

10:52 ET
SPENCER: Could it be that with VA, Obama wins the presidency even without the West Coast? Is Biggie's dream coming true? WILL CRAIG MACK COME OUT OF RETIREMENT????
MEGAN: According to Fox exit polls, 92% of African-America voters in VA went for Obama, but only 39 percent of us crackers did. 63% of new voters went for Obama. Bush won independents by 10 points in 2004, Obama took then by 1 tonight.

10:45 ET
Spencer says that while I was entranced by Chuck Todd, Fox called Virginia for Obama. America, fuck yeah!

10:44 ET
Chuck Todd points out that, given the current projections, Obama taking California and Hawai'i alone gets him to 266 of the 270 required electoral votes.

10:40 ET
Republican strategist Michael Murphy says, "I'm doing a little back-of-the-envelope math with my friend Dr. Smirnoff back here." My friend is Madame Guenoc Petite Sirah 2005.

10:37 ET
MSNBC calls South Dakota for John McCain.

10:36 ET
Virginia's Board of Elections shows that with 87% of precincts reporting, Obama just pulled away in Virginia and is now up by 31,000 votes. Jason says, "Yeah. I think they finally counted my vote." Mine, too.

10:28 ET
Howard Fineman on MSNBC says, "[McCain adviser] Mark Salter sounded like he'd been run over by a truck." Anna says "Please, someone, back that truck over him."

10:25 ET
SPENCER: ... remember how in 2003-4, there was all this talk about how the Democrats were in danger of no longer being a national party?
MEGAN: They're taking back the Midwest, bitches.
JASON: And the West. And, it's still possible to claim NC. I give Obama a slim shot at NC.

10:23 ET
Dana Bash on CNN says that Sarah Palin and John McCain are watching their loss together in the Goldwater Suite at the Biltmore Hotel. Um, I guess no one is superstitious? I guess I forgot to mention, but Mississippi recently went McCain.

10:12 ET
JASON: I am officially calling Virginia for Obama.
MEGAN: Ok, you are the new Chuck Todd!
SPENCER: Chris Shays concedes in CT. House GOP now officially extinct in New England. NO SLEEP TILL LIEBERMAN!
MEGAN: God, I wish. WTF happened to him? Did you see today he promised to filibuster with the Republicans?
JASON: Someone really should drop by Hillaryis44 and see what those idiots are saying about tonight. "A Wee Childe's Garden Of Retardation."
MEGAN: Most of them bailed out of the comment thread at 9:30, and are accusing Obama of fraud, the rest of us of not getting it and predicting the country is going to hell. Don't bother.

10:10 ET
SPENCER: [Republican strategist Alex] Castellanos on the GOP: "We broke our brand... We spread the impression, and rightly so, that what we came to Washington to end, we became."
MEGAN: Ouch. But right.

10:09 ET
Fox is calling the Georgia Senate race for Chambliss. But, you know, they did that for Wicker a minute ago. He does have to get above 50 to avoid a runoff.

10:06 ET
Fox News takes back its call for Wicker, decided to call it "too close" to call. They give Idaho to McCain, though. They say that Colorado's Senate race is too close to call, ditto for Louisiana's Senate race.

10:00 ET
MSNBC gives Iowa to Obama, Utah to McCain. Fox has Nebraska, Kansas for McCain. Texas' John Cornyn (R) will keep his seat, Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Harkin (D-IA) and Max Baucus (D-MT) will keep theirs. Fox is projected Roger Wicker (R-MS) will keep his seat, which means that unless the Dems pull of a victory that no one expected, they won't get a filibuster-proof majority.

9:58 ET
JASON: Obama has taken the lead in Virginia. And they haven't counted my vote yet!

9:55 ET
McCain takes Texas. Whoo.

9:51 ET
Virginia's Board of Elections has 40% of Arlington County precincts reporting 66% for Obama. Not that we're Real Virginia. Sadly for McCain, our votes count like we are. HA HA.

9:45 ET
Louisiana went for McCain. There's your legacy of Katrina.

9:43 ET
KAY: If people care about the ballot initiatives, early results show both the SD ban and the CO "personhood" amendment as losing so far.
MEGAN: Good, now if we can just keep California from passing Prop 8...

9:41 ET
The Dems just picked up the New Mexico Senate seat. That's 4 Dem pickups, if you're counting. Also, Chuck Todd just said that calling it a "narrow" path to the Electoral College for John McCain is stretching.

9:35 ET
KAY: McCain FAIL.
MEGAN: Totally.
SPENCER: MSNBC has Obama winning Ohio & NH. And what Kerry state could Obama possibly lose to McCain? CNN just called Ohio for Obama. YES, I THINK WE JUST DID.
MEGAN: Karl Rove was on Fox saying McCain had to take WA, OR, CA or HI, which seems fucking unlikely.
JASON: McCain may as well shit himself a pantsload of gold doubloons.
SPENCER: I am cueing up "Dirt Off Your Shoulder."
JASON: Word. Gimme the Jay-Z/Verve mashup. ABC News now has the Old Dominion at 50/50 with 72% reporting. I think Amanda Mattos' mission of mercy may have made the difference.
KAY: I guess this was wildly inaccurate. Huh.

9:31 ET
Looking at my TV, I note that South Dakota has re-elected Senator Tim Johnson, who started 2006 with a massive brain bleed that almost killed him. At the time, I was friendly with some (Republican) South Dakota politicians, one of whom was short-listed for the appointment if he passed. So I called him and said, "Hey, wow," and he said, "You know, it's an honor to be thought of in that way, but I just hope that Tim Johnson pulls through." That guy was all class. He's out of office now.

9:27 ET
KAY: Nate Silver, hot or awkward? My friends are divided on this issue.
SPENCER: I have just emailed Nate with the promise of sex with 100 Jezebels.
MEGAN: Although not my type, I was prevailed upon/ordered to add him to the list of the 10 break-out election hotties. There was a lot of affirmation of this choice.
JASON: Hank Williams, Jr. is singing at the McCain party. Hey Hank! Are you ready for some gettin' your punk ass handed to you? Also: talent skipped a generation.
SPENCER: HAHAHAHA JAMAL IS ON THIS LIST. He goes to my gym.
MEGAN: Yeah, that one was all me.

9:24 ET
JASON: 538 is back up, which in no way should stop those 100 Jezebelles from comforting Nate Silver.

9:23 ET
MSNBC follows Fox's lead and calls Ohio for Obama (according to Anna). Fox is all but calling the election over, barring a miracle.

9:21 ET
JASON: WorryTrolls have apparently killed 538.com.
MEGAN: Aw, poor Nate Silver. I think at least 100 Jezebels would be happy to comfort him personally.

9:18 ET
Fox calls Ohio for Obama! It means that McCain needs to pick up a Washington or Oregon to get past 266 (he needs 270 Electoral College votes to win). Karl Rove sounds depressed: "No Republican has ever won while losing the state of Ohio."

9:16 ET
Republican strategist Mike Murphy on MSNBC notes that McCain isn't doing as well as he was polling in Republican counties in Florida and he's behind with the Democratic counties barely reporting. Harold Ford (former Democratic Congressman from Tennessee and Julia Allison shtupper when she was a Georgetown student with a different last name) notes what I just did about Arlington County not reporting a damn thing yet.

9:13 ET
Governor Jennifer Granholm (D-MI) is on MSNBC. She says, "Forget 'drill, baby, drill,' in Michigan, it's 'jobs, baby, jobs.'" She's sounding a little fabulously gloat-y about how Bush and McCain both pulled out. Love her.

9:09 ET
Chuck Todd reports that there aren't a lot of votes counted in the northern Virginia counties of Fairfaz, Loudon, Prince William or Arlington. Current VA Board of Elections data have a 35,000 vote difference between McCain and Obama.

JASON: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS. Remember! It's LOUDON. My god, if you fuck that up, those sprawl-loving fucks won't let you forget it.
MEGAN: There has GOT to be 35,000 votes in Arlington alone.
KAY: At least.

9:00 ET
Fox News calls Wisconsin, New Mexico, Minnesota, Michigan and New York for Obama, North Dakota and Wyoming for McCain. North Carolina, Virginia, Florida, Indiana, Ohio and Missouri remain too close to call. New Mexico is the first Bush state to go for Obama so far... Obama is way up in Ohio, and although Brit Hume mistakenly read it as for Obama when they still consider it too close to call, Obama was whomping McCain in the early numbers.

8:54 ET
KAY: Something to remember about Minnesota (the polls close there in 6 minutes): they have day-of voter registration. This tends to boost turnout among young people, who lean Democratic.
MEGAN: Here's hoping they think Coleman looks like Lurch, too

8:49 ET
SPENCER: Megan, do we still not have Northern Va & Richmond returns?
MEGAN: Nope. Jason and I were discussing earlier that, at least in Arlington, they were offering paper ballots to every person and, at least in my district, people were really taking them up on it even though we've used these touch screens since 2004. But that means that the relatively quick results from 2006 are going to have to be later this year — and that the media has been successful in freaking people the fuck out about touch screens.
JASON: Remember, if you were standing in line at the polls in Virginia when they closed, your vote is going to be counted. Also, many key Democratic districts came in late in 2006. I'd expect the same thing.
MEGAN: Yeah, in 2006, I walked in at 6:59 pm. But, whoa, Arlington hasn't reported anything yet.

8:46 ET
Chuck Todd points out that nothing is different than 2004 yet, although it looks positive for Obama in Florida and Indiana, but Virginia is scaring him, too.

8:39 ET
Fox calls Georgia for McCain.

8:37 ET
SPENCER: NH for Obama. MAC'S BACK IS CRACK'D
JASON: Still got to poach a state.
SPENCER: Yeah, I just wanted to shit on the "Mac is Back" chant from the NH primary.
KAY: John Kerry won his re-election campaign for Senate by a wider margin than he ever could've hoped to in 2004's presidential election. I think the Senate is his true calling.
MEGAN: Brit Hume does NOT look happy about announcing PA
SPENCER: Kay, I wouldn't bet on that.
MEGAN: Megyn Kelly is saying that the only group in PA that sided with McCain is white Catholics. 81% of Hillary supporters went for Obama. Whoa, 51% of seniors went for Obama.

8:30 ET
Fox is calling Arkansas for McCain, but Ohio, Florida, Indiana, Georgia and North Carolina are still too close to call. They're just now calling Pennsylvania. In terms of Senate races, Democratic Senator Mark Pryor will keep his seat in Arkansas. Republican Jim Inhofe will keep his in Oklahoma according to MSNBC.

8:23 ET
JASON: I have to say, it would be bittersweet for me if Virginia wasn't part of an Obama victory. I'm of the belief, though, that as in 2006, the key Democratic districts are going to come in late.
MEGAN: God, I hope so because the Board of Election's numbers are freaking me the fuck out right now.
KAY: The wildly unreliable exit polls show Obama leading among men and women in VA. If they're right, the math is undeniable. And agreed on VA's BOE.

8:15 ET
Jason informed us, solemnly, that the New Hampshire Senate race has been called for former Democratic Governor Jean Shaheen. That's the 3rd Demoratic pick-up for the night, but they don't get Maine or Kentucky. Democratic Senator Dick Durbin won in Illinois but (sniff) lost his 44-year-old daughter to a birth defect last weekend. John Kerry keeps his seat in Massachusetts. MSNBC says that both Mississippi Senate seats are too close, and Alabama and Oklahoma races are too early to call. They are not calling North Carolina for Hagan. Yet.

8:14 ET
SPENCER: Take a drink every time Dana Bash blinks and you will be FITSHACED.
MEGAN: That will make it very, very difficult to live blog.

8:10 ET
Fox calls North Carolina for Kay Hagan! Fuck you and your "godless" commercial, Liddy Dole!

8:07 ET
Fox calls Kentucky's Senate race for McConnell, but Democrat Jean Shaheen appears to be way up in New Hampshire and ditto Kay Hagan in North Carolina.

SPENCER:I can't say I'm happy about the McConnell call, but the way that AFSCME gay-baited him was really repugnant and a betrayal of liberal values.
MEGAN: Repugnant and ineffective. Hopefully we can say the same thing about Liddy Dole's "Godless" commercials.

8:03 ET
Fox calls Senatorial wins for Democrats Joe Biden (DE), Frank Lautenburg (NJ). Republican Susan Collins is the projected winner in Maine. It's still too close to call for McConnell in Kentucky, Dole in North Carolina or Chambliss in Georgia. John Cornyn (R-TX), Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) will keep their seats.

8:00 ET
MSNBC calls Pennsylvania, Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maine, Delaware and D.C. for Obama. McCain gets Tennessee, Oklahoma. Obama's got 103 and McCain's got 34 electoral votes based on those projections.

7:58 ET
This is what happens when America keeps us waiting.

MEGAN: Valerie Jarrett is on MSNBC and is wearing a shirt from the Ann Taylor factory store. I know because I own the same shirt.
JASON: I'm sure you wear it better, Megan.
KAY: But we all know that coverage of women's clothing is sexist.
MEGAN: I am a sexist, everyone knows.

7:53 ET
Our team seems to have lost focus, except for Kay who is steely-eyed in her resolve to keep us on track.
JASON: The only question so far this election is: How many CNN employees got laid off so Wolf Blitzer could talk to fucking holograms?
MEGAN: Damn, MSNBC just showed a commercial for Australia and I now want to see it so. bad.
SPENCER: It took a 2-mile walk, but I now have a 6-pack of High Life and a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger. I'd like to believe the fact that I scored the last BBQ sauce packet augurs well for Obama-Biden.
KAY: Obama appears to have won a significant county in Indiana.

7:48 ET
Taking one for the team, Jason is watching Fox and says they have called West Virginia has been called for McCain.
JASON: No surprises so far. McCain wins SC, KY, up in WV (Fox has already called it.)

7:46 ET
MSNBC calls South Carolina for McCain, and Olberman says that an AP poll shows that 1/3 of voters who voted to re-elected Republican Governor Mitch Daniels (former Bush OMB Director and Eli Lilly exec) in Indiana voted for Obama.

7:43 ET
Have become completely obsessed with the Fox/MSNBC scrolls of individual House races. Olbermann is showing vid of McCain's last speech on the Straight Talk Plane. Cindy's staring at him adoringly. She's wearing her "I Voted!" sticker. His cardboard cutout is staring at me from behind McCain's right shoulder. He's kissing the press's collective ass. Amusingly, Lieberman was standing directly behind him.

7:35 ET ET
Virginia's Board of Elections shows that with about 5% of precincts reporting, McCain is up by 13,000 votes about of 103,000 counted so far. It's mostly rural counties reporting, with some suburban, according to Michael Barone on Fox News.

7:32 ET
Fox News is reporting that the North Carolina Senate race is too close to call and Kay Hagan has a slight lead. McConnell has a very slight lead in Kentucky. Chambliss has a slight lead but it's too close (and he has to get about 50% to avoid a run off in December).

7:30 ET
MSNBC reporting it's too close to call in North Carolina; Ohio and West Virginia are too early to call. Virginia and Georgia are too early to call, still, and Indiana is still too close (about 15,000 vote difference with only 14% in). I miss when they just used to call shit.

7:23 ET
I hate doing this, but Fox News' standards for what they'll show is way lower. With less than 1% in, they've got McCain way up in Florida and Georgia, a little up in Indiana with 10% in and Obama waaaay up in Maine with less than 1% in. MSNBC projects the Dems to take 261 seats in the House, Fox has them taking far fewer. They are now reporting another stupid lawsuit against Brunner in Ohio. They really, really like suing there in Ohio.

7:16 ET
MSNBC says Virginia's too early to call. That's because the Virginia Board of Elections does not plan to start releasing data until 7:30 ET. MSNBC exits polls could be positive for Obama.

7:02 ET
MSNBC projects Mark Warner (D) will pick up the open Virginia Senate seat and Lindsay Graham (R-SC) will keep his. It's too close to call in Kentucky (incumbent: Republican Mitch McConnell) and Georgia (incumbent: Republican Saxby Chambliss).

7:00 ET
MSNBC projects Kentucky for McCain, Vermont for Obama. They are not calling: Indiana (too close), Georgia (too early), Virginia (too early), South Carolina (too early).

6:50 ET
JASON: I just need to say: Someone has got to knock down this rumor of a Kristen Wiig/Joe The Plumber tryst PRETTY DAMNED QUICK. Who do we have on this?
MEGAN: If I were really drunk, I would hit that, too.
JASON: All I can say, is that with the level of notoriety he's gotten for himself, I'd better tune in in about two years to discover that he's the motherfucking KING OF THE PLUMBERS. If Joe can't become the Rupert Goddamn Murdoch of Plumbing and HVAC Repair, then he needs to get kicked in the fucking nuts by the entire nation.
MEGAN: I'll take the first shot.
JASON: Yes you can.

Colorado
After reports surfaced that Republican Secretary of State Mike Coffman had purged tens of thousands of voters from the rolls in Colorado within the sacrosanct 90-day time period in which purges are illegal, he was sued to add the voters back in. This week, a federal court forced Coffman to not only add those voters back onto the rolls, but to grant their provisional ballots special status. When one of the purged voters files a ballot, the state has to actively prove that they don't qualify to vote or else count the ballot.

Florida
The grandmother of voter suppression efforts by the GOP, early voters are turning out in record numbers here, too, hoping to avoid a repeat of the 2000 election. Most of them say they're hoping that if their votes get screwed up, voting early will give them time to fix things. Of course, machine breakdowns and ID-verification ended up slowing the process down, which means that early voters have hurried up to stand in line anyway. Despite GOP concerns that early voting could cost them the election, Republican Governor Charlie Crist ordered early voting locations to stay open longer to accommodate the unexpected surge.

Georgia
In a state seeing unprecedented voter turnout, particularly in African-American communities, and with scores of people voting early (as much as 40 percent of the total 2004 turnout), it's worth nothing that the Republican Secretary of State, Karen Handel, "flagged" as many as 55,000 Georgia voters for additional review prior to the election. While the courts told her to notify the 4,500 flagged for citizenship review that they were eligible to vote, there's no word on the other 50,000 people she's trying to kick off.

Michigan
Michigan has a system that sends newly registered voters cards to confirm their registration. Since 2006, about 5,000 of those cards were returned as undeliverable, and the state threw those voters off the rolls with no other evidence. This week, a federal appeals court ordered the state to re-enroll those voters, insisting that the state law does not require the receipt of the notification card, so the state can't declare them not registered. Those (and other voters) can still face a request for proof of residency at the polls.

Ohio
Ohio, the biggest, swingiest state of them all, has also been a hotbed of voter purges, new registration and Republican activity this year. As mentioned before, Ohio Republicans attempted to force Democratic Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner to throw people off the rolls and stop allowing voters who registered after the early voting period had started to vote; Brunner declined and the Supreme Court sided with her. Bush even tried to get the Department of Justice to weigh in on it, but AG Michael Mukasey decided he didn't want to end up a Gonzales-style legal outcast and declined. Nonetheless,most observers expect that Ohio will be the biggest clusterfuck of this election season (possibly even surpassing Florida in 2000), full of legal challenges, fraud allegations, suppression allegations and general stupid political shit that has nothing to do with anything. Should be fun.

Pennsylvania
The state of Pennsylvania went to court to argue that it didn't need to provide voters with paper ballots — despite all this talk of record turn-out — unless all of the machines in a polling place fail. Judge Harvey Bartle ruled that if half of the machines in a polling place break, the state has to provide paper ballots to voters. The state decided against appealing the decision, apparently realizing that forcing voters to stand in long lines to all use one functioning machine is probably not the best plan.

Virginia
The Virginia NAACP filed a lawsuit against Democratic Governor Tim Kaine this week, alleging that the state was failing to provide enough voting machines at minority voting places and asking the judge to force them to try to keep wait times to 45 minutes. They withdrew their request for a temporary injunction yesterday after negotiations with Kaine's administration, but the lawsuit remains active. People trying to take advantage of in-person absentee voting in Northern Virginia locations like Arlington have had to wait as long as 90 minutes this week. Worse yet, an anonymous group has been distributing flyers in Democratic precincts intended to convince voters that the day for Democrats to vote in November 5th.

West Virginia
After numerous complaints from voters that touch screens were flipping their votes for McCain, Jeff Waybright, the Jackson County clerk, attempted to explain away the errors and improperly calibrated machines. He demonstrated how it might look that way when a machine was improperly calibrated, and then calibrated the machine. It promptly failed to do what it was supposed to. So, if you live in West Virginia, review your votes carefully and take your paper record.

Voter Registration Smashes Records [MSNBC]
Concern Mounts Over Expected Voting Surge [CBS]
Some Voters Still Waiting On Absentee Ballots [CNN]
Colorado Agrees to Restore Voters to Rolls [NY Times]
How Early Voting Could Cost McCain Florida [Time]
Gov. Crist Extends Early Voting Hours statewide [Miami Herald]
Black Voters May Lead Democratic Wave [Salon]
Thousands Of Flagged Voters Can Vote, Court Rules [CNN]
Michigan Loses Appeal Over Voters Rolls [MSNBC]
Ain't Like the Old Days [Talking Points Memo]
In Tight Race, Victor May Be Ohio Lawyers [NY Times]
Judge: PA Must Have Paper Ballots Ready If Half Of Machines Fail [CNN]
Va. NAACP Sues Virginia Governor Over Election Readiness [AP]
NAACP Drops Voting Lawsuit [Richmond Times-Dispatch]
Delays Abound in Early-Voting Surge; Predictions of High Turnout, Confusion [Wall Street Journal]
Phony Board Of Elections Flier Tells Virginia Democrats To Tote On November 5 [Think Progress]
West Virginia Vote Flipping Allegedly Caught On Tape [Huffington Post]

Earlier: There's Nothing Some Fear More Than Citizens Exercising Their Constitutional Rights
Voter Suppression And You: A Guide For Unreal Americans

• There are already quotes from the Palin-Gibson confab! She threatens war with Russia, sidesteps the hubris question, and can't blink! It sounds all kinds of fair and balanced and totally not fluffy. Just because they're taking a stroll together doesn't mean it was too chummy.[Mark Ambinder, Mark Ambinder, TV Newser]
• But just because ABC is stretching the interview into 5 different news segments doesn't mean they're looking to boost ratings, obviously. The first segment airs tonight during what I like to call "drinking time" and other people consider "dinner time." [LA Times]
• In a page from Bush's playbook, Palin conducts state business on a personal email account to avoid disclosure laws, since that worked out so well for the Bush Administration. [Think Progress]
• Obama may have been kidding about being a Popular Mechanic centerfold, but they're offering to take him up on it anyway. David Axelrod needs to jump on that shit, like, yesterday, and show the pistol-packin' mama (per Cindy McCain) who's a regular person. [Popular Mechanics]

• Elsewhere in the world, Biden and his gaffe-maker (also known as his mouth) are prepping for the debate with Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm. She's going to try to be mean, and he's going to try not to be. [NY Times, HuffPo]
• Bolivia expelled our ambassador for daring to suggest maybe growing coca for export to the U.S. is a bad thing. [LA Times]
• Putin is threatening to point missiles at Europe if we put missiles in Europe, so Palin's thoughts of war with Russia might not really be that far off. [BBC News]
• Oh, and non-North Korea doctors — possibly even ones the regime didn't kidnap — operated on Kim Jong Il's brain after the stroke he's denying he had. Do Chinese doctors take a Hypocratic Oath? Is there a greater-good thing they could've relied upon? [Boston Globe]

• Yeah, he still ain't telling. Probably tomorrow. [Washington Post]
• He did reportedly call all the losers last night. No one's admitting anything, though. [CNN]
• Random Texas Congressman Chet Edwards — who Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been pointing out for months — is apparently shortlisted now, though, and gave a cute press conference with his son in tow. He didn't say anything but that it's not so hot in Texas today. [Huffington Post]

• Time says that Mitt Romney is McCain's main man, so HuffPo recounts their hatred for one another. Oh, nostalgia. [Time, Huffington Post]
• There's a new Obama tribute video by famous people. It has a Cheeze Factor of 10. [HuffPo]
• Russian might be actually pulling out of Georgia this weekend. So, that's good at least. [Associated Press]

• When John McCain was asked to comment on Jerome Corsi's work of Obama-hating fiction, McCain told the reporter, "gotta keep your sense of humor." This caused an uproar, so McCain's spokeswoman said he never heard the question. So he's either politically tone deaf or going deaf? Good save. [CNN]
• It's probably because the campaign has more important things to deal with, like convincing right-to-lifers that McCain would, like, totally not pick a pro-choice VP even though he said he would. Pick one! Maybe then they really will stay home. [Politico]
• McCain defended his love of ABBA today by saying his taste in music was stuck back in the sixties when he got shot down. Unfortunately, it turns out ABBA started recording in the seventies. Was this part of the torture technique of the North Vietnamese? [CNN, Attackerman]

• Condi Rice is in the other Georgia, getting them to sign a cease-fire as the Russians continue running around shooting at stuff. [NY Times]
• The Pentagon is making sure troops overseas get absentee ballots for this election. They're doing their part — even though way more deployed troops are donating to Obama than McCain. Are you doing yours to make sure you can vote in November? [CNN, Attackerman]
• And in what might be the strangest news of the day, the conservative Heritage Foundation has admitted that Obama's tax plan will save middle class voters more money than McCain's. They tied themselves up in knots trying to make that sound like a bad thing, but they couldn't quite manage. Watch out for the Four Horsemen this weekend — this is definitely a sign of something. [NY Sun]

MEGAN: Are you ready for another morning of crap?

DAVID: Whoo-hoo!

MEGAN: I text messaged with Moe last night when we were both drunk and now I'm a little hungover, so I'm feeling very nostalgic.

DAVID: Aw, I'm not nearly as pretty as she is.

MEGAN: Neither am I, but it's okay because I made an entire bar of straight men stare at Michael Phelps' cock and thus made every single guy uncomfortably consider his sexuality for a brief moment. I should strive for volume control when I'm drinking, but it was late, the bar was empty and the Olympics were on, so when I went "Oh my God, look at how big his penis is!" everyone in the bar looked at the TV. The bartender might still be laughing. It's a good thing I'm a regular.

DAVID: I would have led the assembled bar patrons in the national anthem if I'd been there. So, does Phelps dress to the left or to the right?

MEGAN: Apparently, according to the embarrassed friend I was with, there's a penis-and-nut restraining strap in competitive swimwear, so it was sort of sticking straight up.

DAVID: Well, then I hope you and everyone there at least saluted or put your hands over your hearts.

MEGAN: I mostly dissolved into drunken giggling because I was drunk and I made a bar of dudes stare at another dude's penis.

DAVID: And you weren't even drinking on P Street were you?

MEGAN: Nope! But all of this was a roundabout way of saying to you "Hey! Look at these shirtless Obama pictures!. I'll wait for a minute while you do.

DAVID: While I do, have you downloaded your own .pdf of "Unfit for Publication" yet? All the cool kids are doing it.

MEGAN: No, I meant to but then I heard it is 40 pages long. And since I wasn't planning on reading the Corsi book unless someone paid me to do so for the purpose of ripping it to shreds, I don't need to read 40 pages about why it sucks and is inaccurate. I already assume that it sucks and is inaccurate. I watched Hillary: The Movie (because someone paid me) and that sucks and was inaccurate.

DAVID: Aw, look at Barry in the ocean. You know, I've really been trying to avoid the Candidate-as-Pin-Up phenomenon, but sometimes it's, um, hard.

MEGAN: I like penis jokes!

DAVID: Who doesn't?

MEGAN: John McCain probably doesn't. He just likes to call his wife a cunt for plastering on her make-up like a trollop.

DAVID: Has anyone seen video of the overenthusiastic handshake that did Cindy's wrist in? A friend of mine who has worked at the local battered women's shelter says that she's heard that kind of excuse for wrist injuries a million times. She thinks McCain was roughing her up. And given his temper and issues with women, I believe it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

MEGAN: Whoa. I never even thought about that. I just thought Cindy was so thin that with her little bird-like wrists it was too easy to sprain but you're right, just pumping a hand up and down, it would be hard to sprain a wrist and even the most enthusiastic hand-shakers usually temper it for a woman.

DAVID: Also in the Telegraph, John Bolton on what we should do about Russia and Georgia. I haven't read the piece yet, but what do you bet his answer involves sending a bunch of other people's kids over there to fight?

MEGAN: No, I don't think there's any oil in Georgia and, like North Korea, the Russians have nukes. I would assume that this would be one of the rare occasions where the neocons talk about the importance of diplomacy and try not to look like the actual foreign policy cowards they are since they only like invading places they're sure they can topple in under a week and where the press isn't going to be able to get good footage of the casualties.

DAVID: How much longer before we can stop calling the neocons "neo-" anything? They've been around for a few years now.

MEGAN: Well, I don't think it's how long they've been around, I think it's to distinguish them from the brand of conservative that isn't quite as reprehensible when it comes to foreign policy. Since we're talking politics, can we please discuss the utter non-brilliance of bringing back the Fairness Doctrine, which far too many Americans think would be a good idea? Because that shit burns me.

DAVID: Oh, you know, this is your chance to educate me on why bringing back the Fairness Doctrine is a bad idea. I can see both sides of the issue and as with any issue where I haven't formed a solid opinion, I think I must not know enough about it yet.

MEGAN: The A Number One Reason it is a bad idea is that it relies on a government agency to decide fairness. And who runs government agencies? Politicians. And what changes periodically? Which party is in power. The Fairness doctrine is a stupid, outdated bullshit concept that government can mandate political speech appropriately. See also: Ken Tomlinson. Want another one of those dudes around telling you what you ought to be hearing?

DAVID: I dunno, at this point I'm willing to cling to anything that means less air-time for Limbaugh. I see your point, though, and I do find it a bit sinister that 30% of the people polled by Rasmussen favor enforced "fairness" in blogging, which is more than I think I could manage. How do they propose to enforce that?

MEGAN: Also, just so's you know, you know who also loves the concept of the fairness doctrine? Right-wing conservatives.

DAVID: But you know, Megan, there's something I want to discuss with you. Remember last year when you guys had a "Jezegay", Ryan? I was, like, so jealous. Can I call myself a Jezegay now?

MEGAN: I don't think you can dub yourself a Jezegay, you must be dubbed as such and that, my friend, is up to the commenters.

DAVID: Tell them that if they'll make me a Jezegay I'll be handing out foot-rubs and free beer all weekend.

• John McCain is in the midst of a two-day sweep through Pennsylvania with former governor Tom Ridge, who was the first-ever Secretary of Homeland Security, igniting speculation that he'll be McCain's choice for the Veep slot. You might as well just take your shoes off now and leave them off until 2012. [CNN, CNN]
• Actually, never mind. Wear whatever shoes you want, bring your water bottles to the airport and don't worry if you're a minority or a Muslim or anything: President Bush says we don't have any problems. [Think Progress]
• Howard Wolfson says Clinton would've won if Edwards had dropped out because of his problem keeping Little Eddie sheathed in his drawers. Only, you know, probably not. But she definitely would've been if Howard had stopped wearing that ugly sweater. [Newser, HuffPo]

• Clinton will headline the Democratic National Convention on Tuesday night — the 88th Anniversary of women receiving the right to vote. That means, if you didn't know, she won't be the VP nominee. [Washington Post]
• The Russians are dividing and conquering Georgia pretty effectively today. That part where they said they wouldn't enter Georgia territory? A total lie, of course. [Associated Press]
• The FBI was reading the emails of reporters for the Washington Post and New York Times without warrants or probably cause or anything. Luckily, mine are so boring the FBI wouldn't bother. [Washington Independent]
• That Preppie Killer guy is headed back to prison for dealing coke because [cue world's smallest violins] he couldn't find a way to support himself after he got out of prison for killing a woman. [CNN]

MEGAN: Morning! Shall we get right down to analyzing the whole Edwards debacle?

SPENCER: I just wanted to say I went an entire weekend without fathering any illegitimate children OR vindicating Mickey Kaus.

MEGAN: Hey, and I haven't gotten knocked up either, so, congrats to both of us!

SPENCER: But this changes nothing. Mickey Kaus, now and forever, snacks on goat penis.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, he said it was really tasty.

SPENCER: So, you said in your post Friday that Edwards can't be Attorney General, which disappoints me tremendously. Do you think Elizabeth can launch her own political career? She's in remission, right?

MEGAN: Actually, I don't think she's in remission. She's incurable, so it's still going, sadly. I would've rather have seen Elizabeth's stellar political career. Rewind? I mean, the biggest problem is that paternity isn't going to be resolved. Rielle's not going to allow a DNA test, so everyone will continue to suspect it's his kid as I already do.

SPENCER: You saw her dKos diary, yeah? She wrote this like a pro:

John has spoken in a long on-camera interview I hope you watch. Admitting one’s mistakes is a hard thing for anyone to do, and I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame.

I started singing the Ramones' "Swallow My Pride" to myself when I read this. and also "Swallow Goat Cock" By Kaus and the Goatees.

MEGAN: Which, I'm sorry, totally negates the whole "I asked her not to come on camera" bullshit Edwards pulled on Friday to appeal to us ladies.

SPENCER: He did what now?

MEGAN: On Friday, in his interview, Edwards told Woodruff that he not only didn't ask Elizabeth to appear with him but asked her not to, in effect saying he didn't want to be Spitzer, McGreevey or Craig, getting lambasted for having his wife by his side while admitting to this shit. BUT he had her talk to Bob Schieffer on the phone (sobbing, according to Schieffer) to confirm the 2006 version of events and then she did the thing on Kos.

So, I'm sorry, we don't have the visual, but I don't think he's a better guy. Also, as I said in my piece on Friday, I think he's lying on the timing and nothing I've read since does anything to disabuse me of that notion.

SPENCER: Well shit. But here's something else: in liberal circles in 2007, the drunken chatter was that Edwards didn't want to run for president, but Elizabeth, facing the clarifying prospect of her own mortality, wanted him to. Sounded plausible at the time! He had no chance of getting the nomination as soon as Obama jumped in, and possibly none before. But but but but BUT how could Elizabeth have known he slept with Rielle Hunter and then said "Fuck it, Johnny. You should still be president!"

MEGAN: I'm guessing that was just a story he put out there to look like less of a shitty husband for continuing to run while his wife had cancer. I'm sure she was supportive, but there was no firm indication that she'd live until the 2009 Inauguration when she was first diagnosed.

So, maybe seeing him as President was her semi-dying wish, maybe she'd internalized his desires to that degree that she thought it was, but it sounds to me like a pretty campaign fairy tale intended to make us believe in the John-and-Liz as a team thing. Anyway, back to why I'm sticking by my suspicions that he's still lying: Sam Stein thinks he is, too, and he's got even more evidence about when John and Rielle met, and when she got hired. And the Updated Newsweek story about how Rielle was indeed still going around claiming to be having an affair with someone the reporter knew (which, he didn't know Andrew Young) in January, which is the blind item Page Six had in January 06 as well.

SPENCER: Here's where I get exhausted with the story. OK OK he fucked her, might have fathered an illegitimate child, career's come to an end, it's DONE right? Does it matter if he's lying to the public if he's not going to be a public official anymore? At what point do we say enough, he's out of politics. I say right now!

MEGAN: Oh, you know me, I'm the type of person who hates to let that shit go. But on to new topics, then! Like the leaked Clintonian emails. Damn, I hate when shit makes Mark Penn look less incredibly wrong. Can't we just stick to mocking the chapter of his book about appealing to American snipers?

SPENCER: Let's chew on this a moment:

Penn, the presidential campaign’s chief strategist, wrote in a memo to Clinton excerpted in the article: “I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values.”

MEGAN: George Bush in 08?

SPENCER: ... and so begins the header on a million GOP/McCain fundraising emails.

MEGAN: I mean, really, at this point, Penn ought to be getting fucking royalties from McCain's campaign.

SPENCER: so, congratulations, black people! Remember how you thought whites don't see you as American? Mark Penn just confirmed it. You are officially off the hook for the Iraq war.

MEGAN: Wait, according to Virginia Congressman Jim Moran it was all the Jews' fault anyway.

SPENCER: I'm curious to see in Josh's story what the Clinton machine's reaction to that memo was — whether that launched the Wright-based whisper campaign or whether the Clintonites rejected it. Yeah yeah that shit. But really — if that memo was ignored/repudiated, it's one thing. If it was ACTED UPON that is quite another.

MEGAN: Do you think that whether the Clintonistas put the Obama in Somali gear photo out there will be in there?

SPENCER: Mike "who's your celebrity crush" Allen says the Penn memo was 3/30/08 so I think that post-date Somalibama but NOT some of the Wright stuff.

MEGAN: I think this much was acted upon:

Every speech should contain the line you were born in the middle of America American to the middle class in the middle of the last century. And talk about the basic bargain as about the deeply American values you grew up with, learned as a child and that drive you today. Values of fairness, compassion, responsibility, giving back

Which, really, means Penn should pay royalties to Karl Rove.

SPENCER: Except Rove wins elections
MEGAN: What his lackeys will do with John McCain is another question.

SPENCER: ... ok back to Edwards for one second: can he really not be attorney general? He had such balls! He was going to be the leftwing John Ashcroft, fucking with the right just to fuck with them! The mailed fist in Obama's politics-of-hope-and-reconciliation velvet glove? Really? I have to give up the dream? The dream of indictments for torture and rendition and US attorney firings and warrantless surveillance? What if he just says the kid is mine? The Democrats are going to have 57 fucking Senate seats!

MEGAN: I really don't think he can be. Can you imagine those confirmation hearings? Especially if it turns out he was still lying? If he used donor money to pay his mistress (let alone hush up his mistress)? Did you check the Baron angle — that's Edwards' finance chair who paid both Rielle and Andrew Young and his wife and kids to get the fuck out of North Carolina but says he didn't get the money from Edwards or the campaign? Oh, right, and this:

The associate, who asked not to be identified, said Mr. Young has privately made conflicting statements about the extent of his relationship with Ms. Hunter and whether he is the child’s father.

Like, all of that, up for review, in the confirmation hearing for the guy who's supposed to play gotcha with the Bushies? I think you need to get yourself a new legal pitbull, as do I.

SPENCER: BUT GODDAMN IT i need to see someone go to jail on this shit. I guess if you're Obama you want to be light years away from Edwards' cocktrouble, but if he doesn't appoint a real left-wing SOB for AG I will be sorely disappointed. Now I feel fucked by John Edwards. Hopefully I remain unpregnant.

MEGAN: Well, how much would you sorta like to see, um, Bill Clinton in that role. If the Dems get 60 in the Senate.

SPENCER: Well, not if he acquiesced to that Penn memo!

MEGAN: Can you imagine Bill Clinton with subpoena power? His bar membership's been reinstated.

SPENCER: and that's a confirmation hearing you relish?

MEGAN: Hey, I said if they get to 60.

SPENCER: actually on second thought, it would be awesome to see Clinton-as-pugilist putting it back on, say, Inhofe or Sessions.

MEGAN: I'm just enjoying the thought of Bill Clinton with the power to investigate the dirty laundry of those that investigated his blowjobs, because you know there is worse than a couple of intern beejes going on in Washington.

SPENCER: But speaking of going back: the right-wing veterans organization Vets For Freedom are sending right-wing Iraq vets to embed in Iraq. and you know what? I have absolutely no problem with this.

MEGAN: Really? That the Weekly Standard and the National Review are putting a bunch of right-wing non-jouno partisan hacks on the masthead for the purpose of war promotion and we're footing the bill? Please explain.

SPENCER: That "we're footing the bill" bullshit applies to ALL EMBEDS.

MEGAN: Yes, which I'm fine with when their stated purpose is not to promote the war and elect John McCain.

SPENCER: Like, you paid for my trip to Baghdad & Mosul last year, and I reported from a liberal perspective. That's structurally indistinguishable from what the VFF ppl are doing.

MEGAN: Except you're an actual reporter.

SPENCER: It's not something the Pentagon is in the business of stopping. You'd rather not live in a world where the Pentagon starts deciding who is and who isn't a reporter.

MEGAN: No, you're right, I just wonder why the WS and the NR can't find actual reporters to go. Is there a word for that?

SPENCER: A bunch of antiwar bloggers have embedded as well. The embed program is open, and in terms of the "harm" they do, only the 27 Percenters who still back Bush would read this shit anyway.

MEGAN: Chiiiickenhawk or something?

SPENCER: No, I doubt that, I just think the Standard & NRO know a gimmick when they see one, and think that it'll be harder for leftwing antiwarriors to attack pieces written by vets. and to that, I must quote Beyonce: "they must not know 'bout me, they must not know 'bout me." but, look, you know, the game is the game, and let's see how they play it.

MEGAN: I am happy to attack pieces written by vets. Heck, I've gotten into no less than two ugly political arguments with veteran friends of mine and finally threw up my hands and said, "If you want to buy what they're selling, rationality and actual facts aren't going to convince you, so don't ever ask me questions again."

SPENCER: Also, speaking of BALLING, everybody note that my roommate and homie Matt Yglesias launched his new ThinkProgress blog today!

MEGAN: Congrats to him! Should we talk about that little war thing that started this weekend? I hear, by the way, that anything good about Russian cuisine comes from Georgia.

SPENCER: I dunno. I make a kickass borscht.

MEGAN: Georgian wine is definitely better, not that it's not virtually impossible to come by here.

SPENCER: So yeah while I was driving for an internet-free weekend in State College, PA Russia attacked Georgia or something? I should know about this shit so enlighten me.

MEGAN: Well, so, Georgia went into the disputed territory of South Ossetia where the citizens apparently want to go back to being Russian, so the Russians moved in. And because they're the Russian military, they routed the Georgians. Now they're bombing the capital of Tbilisi and sending ground forces to Gori, which is in Georgia proper, about which one diplomat said, "They seem to have gone beyond the logical stopping point."

SPENCER: Also LOL my friend Benny's band is on the cover of the new Kerrang!

MEGAN: Man, your friends are sort of kicking ass today. They're like the Russians of pop culture.

SPENCER: Yeah so that sucks and we should set to work on the diplomatic course of getting the UN Security Council to turn back the invasion and restore the status quo ante.

MEGAN: Yeah, that's sort of what the Georgians think only you know who sits on the Security Council?

SPENCER: Yeah yeah.

MEGAN: That's why the UN has been so effective in Chechnya. And you know we aren't going to do it because Bush is hard at work at the Summer Olympics and he's seen into Putin's soul.

SPENCER: You know what sets a really bad precedent? Invading other countries while circumventing the UN Security Council. I mean call me crazy!
MEGAN: Well, right, and that. The Security Council basically functions as a rubber stamp for the foreign policies of its members.

SPENCER: Next he'll look into Rielle Hunter's vagina.