• A source claims Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson so abruptly because he found messages on her phone from none other than her ex, John Mayer.

• Says the source: "They were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it. Tony found messages from John and went ballistic... Tony dumped her right then. He walked out and that was it." [Radar Online]
• A source says of Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson's breakup, "She was caught off guard." While poor lonely Jess has been lying low, Tony was out partying with his friends on three of the four nights since their breakup. [E!]
• Hustler has created a Lindsay Lohan parody porn called Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan. It features porn star Scarlett Fay as Lindsay and follows various events in her life such as her Marilyn Monroe photo shoot, her relationship with Samantha Ronson, and lots of sex, of course. [Fleshbot (NSFW)]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer made the New York Post retract a story that claimed Rowe was paid $4 million by Katherine Jackson in exchange for not seeking custody of Paris and Prince. He said Rowe would not take money for giving up custody and the story "can only have been concocted with reckless disregard for the truth." [CNN]
• Police arrested two paparazzi outside Debbie Rowe's ranch in Palmdale, California after she called 911. One didn't have a driver's license and the other was riding on top of the other photographer's car. [TMZ]
• CNN is reporting that LaToya Jackson was paid for the recent Daily Mail interview in which she said Michael Jackson was murdered. Because that's the only thing that would make you doubt that interview. [MTV News]
• Someone from the L.A. County Coroner's office went to the office of Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist today to hunt for missing medical records. [TMZ]
• In 2005 a man filed a $120 million lawsuit against Janet Jackson because he claimed her bodyguards beat him up after he said hello to her. Today a judge threw out the case saying, "There is no evidence upon which a jury could rationally find that (Jackson's bodyguard) was the assailant, or that Jackson directed the assailant's actions or negligently failed to control him." [The Daily Express]
• The promoter of Michael Jackson's London shows wants to do a show on his birthday, August 29, featuring his brothers and possibly Janet Jackson. [The Mirror]
• Elizabeth Taylor is in the hospital and Cindy Adams wrote today that she is suffering from exhaustion because she's been crying so much after Michael Jackson's death and denied her access to their funeral pews and barred her from the events because she was Michael's friend, not theirs." Didn't Liz say she had PLANNED this surgery and it has nothing to do with MJ's death? [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the U.K. from St. Lucia. "She is good. She has been looking after herself," says a friend. "She did a lot of exercise and she has been eating better. Look at her – she is not what she was." [People]
• LeVar Bruton was injured in a five-car accident in Los Angeles. An elderly woman turned left in front of him and he crashed into her. No one was seriously hurt and Burton was treated for neck pains and released from the hospital. [People]
• Jon Gosselin lied to designer Christian Audigier so he could bring his girlfriend Hailey Glassman on a business trip to St. Tropez. "[Jon] had told me was he was going out there with his stylist," said Audigier's rep. "We said we could accommodate her going out there as long as she's bringing his biker wardrobe or something relevant - motorcycles being the key the factor in all of this." [TV Guide]
• An anonymous source says of Hailey Glassman, "She's one of those crazy party animals," who never had a steady boyfriend in college said a source, "She would probably be that type of girl who would get on top of the bar and start dancing." [People]
• David Arquette and Courteney Cox have signed on to do Scream 4. [E!]
• Another cast member has been added for The Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis Bellino. Here's how the press release describes her: "Alexis keeps herself busy by being the best wife and mother she can, and when she does have a free moment, she likes to work out to keep herself looking and feeling her best." [People]
• Previously Morrissey cancelled some tour dates due to illness. Now he's called off two more because of "unresolvable" issues. [The Daily Express]
• Jennifer Connelly and her husband Paul Bettany play Charles Darwin and his wife in the biopic Creation, which is opening at the Toronto International Film Festival. [Yahoo]
• Ricky Gervais will star with Jennifer Garner and Tina Fey in The Invention of Lying, a film about a man who discovers everyone he knows tells the truth, and believes whatever he tells them. [Yahoo]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted: "We are here in Botswana, South Africa! Wow what a long flight!" She's in the country of Botswana on a "humanitarian" trip. [Perez Hilton]
• George Carlin's last book, appropriately titled Last Words will be published in November. He had been working on it for the last decade. [Yahoo]
• Brandy settled a lawsuit with another survivor of her 2006 car crash. Mallory Ham, who suffered a severely broken nose, was paid an undisclosed amount. [TMZ]
• Justin Timberlake's Mirimichi gold course will open on July 25 in Memphis after a $16 million renovation to make it more eco-friendly. [AP]
• Russell Brand will host the MTV VMA Awards once again in September. "This year will be a controversy-free festival of love and discrete orgasms," he said. [The Sun]
• Jordan says of estranged husband Peter Andre: "Whatever women he chooses in his life I just hope he's happy with them. I've got no bad feelings - as long as they're girlie girls and can paint Princess's feet and hands and play all the games the kids love like I do. I've got no animosity towards Peter, I just want him to be really happy." [The Sun]
• Amy Adams, who has been engaged for a year to actor Darren Le Gallo says, "I've been really busy, and I feel like a horrible fiancée that I haven't gotten swept up in the whole idea of a wedding but I just haven't... He wants to be married... I think he was patient for the first nine months, but that we have been engaged for a year, he's sort of, you know, 'This is going to happen, right?' He understands I'm busy but he's ready. He's much more ready for kids and stuff than I am." [People]
• Clive Davis says of Whitney Houston's upcoming album, "you won't forget it after you hear it." [ABC News]
• Emma Watson says of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: "There's just much more chemistry, much more interaction between all the students... It was quite a different Hermione for me to play because usually she's this very tough, very stern, you know she's kind of like this ‘girl power' (character). And in this one, she's much more fragile, vulnerable. She kind of gets her heart broken a bit." [CBS News]
• "You know, I'm not really doing the dating thing. I don't feel like I'm in the world of dating. I don't feel like a young twentysomething. I'm happy working but it's not a case of 'I don't have time for a girlfriend'. I do. It's just like everyone else who's single I suppose." — Daniel Radcliffe [The Daily Express]
• Daniel Radcliffe on photographers snapping pictures of Emma Watson's undies: "I did feel bad for her. Men will never know the kind of humiliation of having an upskirt done, which poor old Emma had. We talked a few days after her birthday, and she said, 'It was awful, they were all over me. They were trying to shoot up my knickers!' It's incredibly invasive. That's why I do think it's much, much harder for girls being famous than it is for guys." [L.A. Times]

• Paris Hilton plays a woman who wants plastic surgery in Repo: The Genetic Opera, but she claims she's never had surgery. "I love being all-natural," she claims. All natural? Ahem. Let's just look at those boobs, that nose, the blue contacts that cover those brown eyes and, oh, yeah, the nose. [Daily Beast]
• Paris Hilton totally assisted in the election excitement with her silly videos, you guys: "I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along." [E!]
• Britneyspears.com now hosts weekly awards called The PapaRAZZIEs that highlight the antics of obnoxious paps: "Terrorizing Britney has unfortunately become a daily part of the paparazzi's lives. So, we've decided to start calling these maniacs out each week by awarding a PapaRAZZIE to the worst of the worst! Each week we will be presenting an award to the most outrageous and ridiculous pap moment and you have to check out what we found this week. The guy who's shooting this video actually starts mooing at Mary Kate Olsen!" [ONTD]
• Could Britney be focusing on paparazzi because she's dating one? The rumors that she's back with Adnan Ghalib will not die. An "insider" tells the National Enquirer: "Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments." [MSNBC]
• Prepare yourself: Daniel Craig NAKED. [The Sun]

• Barack Obama had a conference call yesterday with "African-American leaders." On the phone: Oprah Winfrey, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Donna Brazile, House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, and Rev. Joseph Lowery. [Politico]
• "Oprah Working O-vertime For Obama." [Rush & Molloy]
• Diddy, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Beyoncé were in Philadelphia yesterday for a "promote the vote" block party. Mary J's haircut gets my vote! [Concrete Loop]
• People has a poll: "Do You Approve Of Jen & John's Relationship?" Sorry, but we need to vote on this OTHER issue that seems WAY more important at the moment. [People]
• After being hit in the head with a camera in a kerfluffle outside of a restaurant, Jessica Simpson's BFF Ken Paves says: "While I did not expect a dinner out with friends would end up with me in the emergency room and nine stitches in my head, I am fine." He got nine stitches. Being friends with a celebrity is dangerous! [People]
• Jennifer Hudson kissed her mother goodbye during a private service for her murdered family members in Chicago on Monday. [People]
• Jennifer's stepbrother says: "Right now she is just praying and staying strong. Just pray for her." [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another rumored wedding: Fergie and Josh Duhamel might tie the knot in June 2009. She's started working with wedding planners and wants a Karl Lagerfeld gown. Who doesn't? [Just Jared]
• Mary-Kate Olsen says he thinks it's weird that people were into her "boho" style. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all." That makes two of us! [Daily Express]
• Ashley Olsen responds to the rumor that she's getting married: "No truth at all. I told the National Enquirer that, but they don't print what we actually say." [E!]
• Will Russell Brand play Johnny Depp's brother in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick? [Telegraph]
• Heidi Klum spoofs Tom Cruise's Risky Business shirt-and-boxers dance for a Guitar Hero commercial. Except she's in a bra and undies. Click and see. [The Sun]
• Ew: Justin Long hooked up with Tila Tequila? [Page Six]
• Despite separation and tension, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids trick-or-treating. Kudos. [Page Six]
• A flick from 1971 in which Susan Sarandon is "sexy and nude" is being released on DVD, if you're into that. [Page Six]
• Carrie Underwood says she hasn't spoken to ex Tony Romo "since, like, May." So Jessica Simpson can calm the hell down. [People]
• Salma Hayek was spotted getting cozy with her baby daddy, French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. Will they get back together? [People]
• Leona Lewis went to South Africa and now she wants a South African baby. "I wanted to take home all the kids. They were so cute. All of them had been orphaned because of HIV and it was heart-rending," she says. "There are so many who need help – both here and abroad – you just don't know where to start. My mum was a social worker and my dad was a youth offender officer, so I know that there are a lot of kids out there that need to be fostered and adopted. I definitely want to adopt." [People]
• Baz Luhrmann's epic movie Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) hits theaters November 26, but it's not even done yet. [NY Mag]
• Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman: "You do look good in my shirt. And out of it! But that's a different story." [People]
• Emma Watson is dating a young Australian student and this paper knows lots of details about him. He's a rower who loves rugby and has a background in theater. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof has been living in New York for "five minutes" and has "already picked up an American accent." [The Sun]
• Will Smith is determined to star in a Bollywood film. Maybe we should loan other stars out to other countries. Where shall we send Jessica Simpson? [Daily Express]
• Witness Seal speaking about his new album. [Mirror]
• The rumor that Joe the Plumber maybe hooked up with SNL's Kristen Wiig: False. [Politico]
• Antonio Sabato Jr is "ready to love again," so, naturally, he's looking for a lady via a reality show. Romantic! [Perez Hilton]
• Olympic gold medal-winning skier Picabo Street got married! On top of a mountain, of course. [People]
• Negotiations for Cloris Leachman to join the cast of Young Frankenstein on Broadway are still underway. All together now: Blucher! [Yahoo News]
• Ooh, Jane Fonda on Broadway: She'll star in 33 Variations, a play by Moises Kaufman about a present-day musicologist (played by Fonda) and her study of Beethoven's fascination with a particular piece of music. [AP]
• What's up with the Ramones and the election? Johnny's widow Linda has been campaigning for McCain; Joey's brother says: “I just want it to be clear that Linda Cummings does not represent the political views of the Ramones." [Reuters]
• An amazing profile of Grace Jones includes information about her brother, Christian, who was "born swishy." According to the piece, "When Christian clashed with his parents, Grace took his side and began the rebellion that she turned into a career." [Telegraph]
• The firing of Brooke Smith from Grey's Anatomy means the end of a mature, woman-on-woman (as opposed to girl-on-girl) lesbian relationship, which, TV critic Mary McNamara says, "is bad for the world." [LA Times]
• Have you seen Liv Tyler in those Nintendo DS ads? She says: "I'd never played a game before they asked me to shoot this. It's actually quite addictive. There's something childlike about being able to just play." Also, that's her sister Chelsea in the commercial with her. [USA Today]
• There's a bench warrant out for the arrest of John Cusack's stalker. Keep an eye out for a 33-year-old woman obsessed with Better Off Dead. [E!]
• The surfers charged with roughing up a paparazzo who was crowding Matthew McConaughey on a Malibu beach pleaded not guilty Monday to misdemeanor battery charges. Pretrial hearing in January, dude. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Heather Mills built a swimming pool without permission, and in a desperate attempt to keep it, she's saying it actually serves a the public, because the fire brigade can use in case of a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Dr. Phil's son did a book signing at the Mall Of American and no one really cared or showed up. Okay, not true. There were about a dozen people and he said, "I know most of you." The signing started at 2 p.m. and he was done by 2:30. [Star Tribune]
• Know how we're always talking about no new ideas in Hollywood? The Farrelly brothers are directing a comedy called Three Stooges. Out in late 2009. [Variety]
• Charges have yet to be filed against Heather Locklear in that DUI case; it's still being investigated. [Yahoo News via E!]
• ¡Mierda! Kylie Minogue had five suitcases stolen hours before her Latin America tour started. Laptops, cameras, passports and show outfits were taken when she landed in the Colombian capital of Bogota. Eh, the show must go on. [The Sun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler's civil trial kicked off yesterday: He's accused of assaulting a tow-truck driver. His lawyers filed a motion seeking to keep other attorneys from blabbing to the press about the case; rumor has it Wahler shouted racist slurs at the driver, who is black. [Yahoo News via E!]
• The husband of slain actress Adrienne Shelly is suing the manager of the New York City building where she died and the renovation company that hired the man who killed her. [USA Today]
• NFL players taking Nikki Haskell's Star Caps diet pills? Huh? [Page Six]
• Hmm, Lionel Ritchie has Akon and Ne-Yo on his new album. Trying to connect with the kids? [Yahoo News]
• George Carlin's daughter has a book deal to do an oral history of her father's life, due in fall 2009. [USA Today]
• Charlize Theron may star with Tom Cruise in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French Thriller in which she'd play an Interpol agent who uses an American tourist "in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair." [Variety]
• A former UCLA Medical Center employee has pleaded not guilty to charges that she sold information from Farrah Fawcett's file to a tabloid magazine. [USA Today]
• Kate Beckinsale looks foxy on the cover of Elle UK. [Elle UK]
• "Growing up in Jamaica the Pentecostal church wasn't that fiery thing you might think. It was very British, very proper. Hymns. No dancing. Very quiet. Very fundamental. You might see some rastas going by on their bicycles but you were taught to run and hide under your bed if that happened. They were demons, devils. You had to wear a hat to go to church. We weren't allowed to straighten our hair. We couldn't wear jewellery, nail polish, open backed shoes, skirts above the knee... trousers were forbidden because male apparel on a female was not Godly." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]
• "If [Obama] doesn't get into office, I'm gonna change my citizenship. I'm moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I'm afraid to live there if [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he's making selfish decisions, he's doing whatever it takes to get into office. I don't think [McCain] is going to last eight years so [Palin]'s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that's scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?" — Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• "He said, 'Ahh you're the girl from Wedding Crashers.' He freaked out and backed away from me. I'm like, 'I'm not actually a bi-polar nymphomaniac.'" — Isla Fisher. [News.com.au]
• "Leo — that’s one of my best friends and I’m one of his. That’s just my boy. Tobey’s my boy. We all love sports. We’re all into politics. We all have a stake in the artistic community. We all have a lot of similar interests." — Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "I've been saying to him for seven years, 'When are you going to put out the record? He’s such an artist. He wants it to be perfect." — Leonardo DiCaprio, on Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "Leo and I were always aware that if we were going to do something together again that there would be a sense of expectation. It was going to have to be the right thing. There's an emotional shorthand that Leo and I have and a physical ease because we've known each other so long… Leo and I, you know, are sort of kindred spirits — we're cut from the same cloth." — Kate Winslet, on her Revolutionary Road costar, Leo DiCaprio. [MSNBC]
• "There are too many girls in here… too many model asses all over the place." — Shannen Doherty, at a New York party. [ONTD]
• "I don’t really get involved in political affairs because of the way I was brought up and being a Jehovah’s Witness, but it’s exciting to see someone like Barack Obama have a chance to lead one of the world’s biggest nations. And it’s just interesting. Think 40 years ago or 30 years ago, all the things that were going on, the persecution we had to go through. And it’s good. It makes my heart smile." — Serena Williams. [NY Times]
• "Ideally I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt. If something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it. All I know is that I haven’t finished yet when it comes to having kids." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "When I perform on stage I become those male bullies, those dominators from my childhood. That's probably why it's so scary, because they scared me. I enjoy being feminine, but I like role swapping." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]

An article by Joyce Wadler in today's Times answers some of these questions, along with an age-old one: when the lights are flicking on and off, and your kid's book is levitating above her head, and a celebrated makeup artist is appearing to you in the night, who you gonna call?

One "ghost cleaner" is Bonnie Vent, who says that what ghosts respond to is "communication." Unlike my train buddies, she believes remedies like holy water and sage have no effect. She charges $125 an hour to cleanse your house of ghosts, but you can visit her website [warning: Bonnie Vent's voice loudly identifies itself as that of a "spirit advocate," potentially embarrassing you at work] for free. The highlight of the site is this message from George Carlin [go to page 3], in which he informs Bonnie that he is not in hell, that "people are really stupid," and that she is "gathering clients." He makes no connection between the latter two points.

The Times article includes a lot of fun stories, including that of toddler Anna, who used to giggle when no one was around. One day Anna's mother heard her arguing with someone, and turned around to find the child's book floating above her head. Anna claimed to be "sharing" with Katie, a little ghost girl who Anna's mother later identified as having hair "like Marcia Brady." Then there's the ghost of makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin, who appeared to interior designer Guy Clark wearing "a blue cabana suit, blue shorts and a shirt, like what people wore in the ’60s." And there's a discussion of an "obese, overweight black shadow figure" that suggests that people's prejudices extend to the spirit world.

What's striking about the article as a whole, though, is the extent to which otherwise reasonable people believe in something pretty irrational. Part of this may be that, as Wadler says, "the believers tell a much better story" than the skeptics. Which are you? Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen the ghost of George Carlin?

Supernatural Cleaning Methods [NY Times]

Pro Life Is Anti-Woman - George Carlin [YouTube]