This sounds a lot like sex selection to me. If you'd planned on keeping the baby anyway, why not wait until your doctor can give you a much better answer than a separate test will? And you don't have to shell out an EXTRA $275 for it.
Lorelai? You may not know this, but your name predisposes you to an extraordinary albeit untraditional bond with your daughter. Over the years, the boundaries between child and parent will be blurred, but you'll live and learn and make pithy remarks about emotional trauma, and all will be forgiven. Then, upon initiation of a romantic relationship with a total turd, your daughter will morph into an annoying pushover, but you'll still get to bone her dad.
I see things have not changed much in over half a century, as far as dickhood in men. When I was born, my dear father wanted a boy so badly that he had refused to even consider girl's names. He wouldn't even hold me for a couple of weeks.
Flash forward 17 months, Mom is now getting ready to deliver #2, and worries about the reaction if the gender isn't up to father's expectations. "Oh, no worries", says he, "Elvira is so wonderful, etc., I shall love it no matter which".
My sister is born. Two months later my parents divorce.
@ElviraGooch: Oh god your father is an asshole. I'm sorry you had to be spawned by that. I hope your mom is nicer, and it sounds like she is.
Once I was talking to a co-worker about kiddos. She has one kid, and said her husband really wanted a boy. Sure enough, they got a son. She said he would have been truly disappointed had it been otherwise.
I'm going to get a patent for a test that determines if you're an asshole. It goes like this: you sue and claim for all the world to see you're disappointed in your child's sex. Congratulations, you're an asshole!
Just as an interesting comparisons, the Anglo Saxons had various bizarre prognostics by which one could tell the sex of the unborn child. I've translated some in the course of my work, thought it was vaguely interesting. Hope the AS characters come out alright...
Eft is oðer wise be þissum þingum þæt þu meht witan on bearn eacenum wife hwæþeres cynnes bearn heo cennan sceal.
Here is a way by which these things that you can know in giving birth whether your wife will have a girl or a boy
@spamanda: I had a professor who used to make us speak in Old English for entire classes. He wasn't even doing it do be a dick, either, he just liked it that much, and wanted us to get the full Chaucer experience.
Is this being used as a tool for gender-selective abortions? Let us hope not, although anyone who is stupid enough to use something like this to predict the sex of a baby is probably to stupid to have a baby in the first place.
You know, if they had sued based on the refusal to give the refunds and maybe an unfair trade practices claim, I'd be OK with this. It's not cool to make a product (even a stupid one) and renege on your promise. But the emotional distress claims are going to be thrown out and make the whole case look stupid.
@Maritsa: Well yeah, and it makes the parents look like assholes who are suing about getting the "wrong" kind of child. There is a vague implication that the parents would have made a different choice about keeping the child had the test results reflected the other gender, and that's just kind of creepy and difficult to sympathize with. The company did guarantee a 200% refund if the test is inaccurate so the parents certainly do deserve that. Their other claims, however, make them look like sue-happy jerks who are dissatisfied with the children they got.
@LaComtesse: The gender/sex thing. Terribly annoying, but I suspect that it comes from a place where ignorance meets modesty. It would be rude and dirty to put the word SEX on there in big ol' scary letters. And would scare away folks who would never have that filthy, sinful SEX but still want to know the gender of their baby.
@LaComtesse: Yep! I love what my boss is doing - she's been referring to her unborn child as "zie" and decorating the baby's room with animals, and buying gender-neutral clothing. And that's the way it should be - it shouldn't matter what sex your child is, just that the child is healthy and happy! It's sad that people are so invested in this, and in making sure they properly genderize their FETUS.
@AuntieBee: "Are you suggesting BABIES have SEX?! You're sick! Sick, sick, sick!"
And yes, I'm guessing that anyone who can't wait the couple weeks to learn the babies sex from a doctor will probably be foisting gender stereotypes and expectations on their little neonate so "gender" is ACTUALLY what they are interested in.
@susanstohelit: Totally the way to go. I mean, if you know you're having a girl and see a cute girly whatever (say, a Wonder Woman, onesie that you can put on the baby before dancing it around to the Wonder Woman theme song... not that I've thought of this constantly, mind you...*aHEM*)by all means go for it. But no need to inundate a little non-cognitive creature with bows or baseballs (depend on its genitalia) from before its born.
@susanstohelit: I'm not pregnant, nor am I planning to get pregnant soon. However, when we do decide to have children we're going to do the same thing. And we're not going to tell people the sex of the baby until it's born so people won't be tempted to genderize the fetus either.
@LaComtesse: Well, my son has been inundated with baseballs - but that would have been true if he was a girl. The first thing we bought for the baby, when we didn't know the sex, was a Mets board book. But good point, definitely, and OMG a Wonder Woman onesie would be awesome.
@MonkeyButt: Oh, they'll be tempted whether they know or not. And the minute its born they'll do it anyway. Fortunately, other people's societal expectations don't make it into the womb.
I also think it is impossible to raise a genderless child, in spite of our best and nobelest efforts. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but I don't think we're there yet.
@Maritsa: My mother in law put a baseball mit in my husband's crib with him. I think the same was done for his sister. (Of course, they're Yankee fans, so I can only imagine you find that deplorable ;-))
But is "genderless" really the goal? I'm totally planning on going all gender neutral with my baby stuff (and order strict directives to all relatives about all the pink and blue crap my family will surely want to buy). But that's because I have problems with our society's current dysfunctional gender stereotyping and the desire to engender infants (or fetuses in this instance). Just because I have a problem with the way current society treats gender divisions doesn't mean I think there is no healthy functional place for gender in an equal society. I dont want my child to be genderless. I want my child to be whatever gender (however many there may be) he or she believes him/herself to be and with which he or she is comfortable and happy.
@AliyaBabasaur: I meant more that I think it's impossible for a parent not to "see" gender in their infant and respond according to that perception. I really think the important thing is to just treat the baby like a baby and not like a little BOY or a little GIRL.
@LaComtesse: Nah, my dad was a huge Yankees fan, so I have some residual fondness for them. Red Sox, though? NO. Of course my dad being a Yankees fan and trying to indoctrinate me (and failing) makes me living proof that my efforts might be in vain!
@brinkswomanship: It will give you information 99.9% of the time! The other .1% of the time it will refuse to talk and hold its breath til it turns blue. At which point you can assume your baby is a boy!
This is why if babies are ever on the calendar sometime in the very very very distant future, I would employ gender neutrality and later on let the kid choose how it wants to express gender!
I know I am a cold-hearted bitch and all, but if your marriage broke down because you thought you were having a boy, but had a girl instead, it seems to me there was probably something else wrong with your union. My guess is it would have broken eventually even if you had a boy.
On one hand, I feel bad for these women as consumers--they got hoodwinked, and that sucks. But on the other hand, how do you not see this as snake oil? If an accurate blood test existed, then OB/GYNs would be charging out the nose for it instead of letting a shady mail-order service dominate the market.
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You're WELCOME.
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Also, thanks! Hearted!
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Flash forward 17 months, Mom is now getting ready to deliver #2, and worries about the reaction if the gender isn't up to father's expectations. "Oh, no worries", says he, "Elvira is so wonderful, etc., I shall love it no matter which".
My sister is born. Two months later my parents divorce.
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Once I was talking to a co-worker about kiddos. She has one kid, and said her husband really wanted a boy. Sure enough, they got a son. She said he would have been truly disappointed had it been otherwise.
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Eft is oðer wise be þissum þingum þæt þu meht witan on bearn eacenum wife hwæþeres cynnes bearn heo cennan sceal.
Here is a way by which these things that you can know in giving birth whether your wife will have a girl or a boy
Gif heo gæð late & hæfþ hole eagan heo cenneð cniht, gif heo hraðe gæþ & hafað aþundene eagan heo cenneð mæden cild.
if she walks widely and has clear eyes she will have a boy, if she walks narrowly and has irritated eyes she will have a girl
Eft oþer wise genim þa twa wyrta on hand, þæt is lilie & rose, ber to bearneacenum wife, hat niman þæra wyrta swa hwæþeræ swa heo wille.
here is another way - hold two flowers in your hand, lily and rose, and take them to the pregnant wife - see which flower she wants to take
Gif heo nimð lilian cenð cnyht, gif heo nimð rosan heo cænð mæden.
if she takes the lily she will have a boy, if she takes the rose she will have a girl
Eft is oþer cræft be þon gif þæt wif mid þam helum stæpeð swiðor on þa eorðan heo cenneð cnyht, gif heo mid þam tan stæpeð swiðor on þa eorþan heo cænneð mæden.
her is another way - if the woman walks more on her heels on the earth she will have a boy, if more on her toes on the earth she will have a girl
Eft is oþer wise gif þam wife bið þæt hrif upastigen heo cenneð cnyht, gif hit byþ nyþer asigen heo cenneþ mæden.
here is another way - if the woman bears herself straight upwards she will have a boy, if she is more bent she will have a girl
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Also--if you're THAT super-duper invested in having a BOY or a GIRL, maybe you shouldn't be having kids at all.
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And yes, I'm guessing that anyone who can't wait the couple weeks to learn the babies sex from a doctor will probably be foisting gender stereotypes and expectations on their little neonate so "gender" is ACTUALLY what they are interested in.
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I also think it is impossible to raise a genderless child, in spite of our best and nobelest efforts. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but I don't think we're there yet.
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However, Ms. Duffy, if you got divorced because the test predicted the wrong sex of your child, you were well on your way anyway.