Jezebel 
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New York, 5:27 PM
Mon Dec 21
44 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/09/09
12/09/09
To some extent, I understand why it's good to look approachable, but there are times when I'm pissed off and don't really give a shit what some unwelcome audience thinks if I want to scowl to myself.
Anyway, yeah, I can sympathize...it CAN feel humiliating when a someone blithely demands that you smile (especially and unsurprisingly from strangers...and strange men, who feel the need to comment on a woman's appearance simply b/c she has the gall to be out in public).
12/09/09
12/09/09
That's the kind of crap that makes me a little ageist....anticipating senility/the condescension of your elders (or any one else who has the nerve to all be spell out for you, "whatever is happening to you right now....I'm pointedly watching you, and it CAN'T be that bad, b/c you're a woman. SMILE! Smile for ME.")
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Usually I am just minding my own business at the time and am neither happy nor sad. It infuriates me that strangers think they have a right to demand that my facial features should be set in a certain way.
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me: They just can't identify my FACE, Mom!
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oh calculus class.
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12/09/09
creeeeeepy
12/01/09
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12/01/09
My brother went to hugely elite all male high school, and went on to the most elite college in the US (with a truckload of high school friends in tow.)
He's hugely successful, but I can't bear the way he talks to his wife. I can't be around the both of them; it's just painful. He picks at what she says and is a condescending jerk. I really believe that the school he went to fostered this behavior. That place was poison. I mean, what do you expect to get from taking all the academically successful Catholic 13 year old boys in the city, and locking together for four years? The place is a jackass factory.
I still resent that school for turning him into that. And we're in our 20s.
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that separation from a dominant group aids the personal development of most members of the minority group, is also not surprising.
what people think those two facts mean continues to surprise and depress me.
12/01/09
12/01/09
1. I did the single-sex thing for college. A women-only environment takes away any sense of gender roles, turning clubs and subjects into things some people like and things some people don't like. I was a Physics major who once worked in the theater doing heavy lifting on the fly crew (I am petite). I know the dynamic of both those activities would have changed if I were at a coed school.
2. A public middle school teacher I know once said that within a minute of being alone with only his male students for some forgotten reason- bam- the climate changed and they started to ask about sex and girls and health topics they were dying to know about. So I think single sex activities are still good for boys because they have the same benefits of gender deconstruction and give them a safe space.
3. I suspect that single sex education is detrimental to boys because of a minority/majority effect more than an inherent gender issue. I imagine African-American students who attend historically black colleges do better than their peers who do not, but someone who attended a school for just white students would come out a complete ass because she/he would have no conceptions of minorities of any race as people of intelligence and skill.
12/01/09
If you don't mind, how was your experience at a women-only college? I'm a junior in high school and I'm considering going to one.
My mother warns that real life is not based on being around only women and that it is not a realistic portrayal of what I will experience in the "real world".
Your thoughts?
12/01/09
12/01/09
College is part of the real world. Everything is. Maybe your mom is conflating an office environment with the real world; I don't know. But there is more to the real world than your workplace. An all-women's college experience might even prepare you well for the so-called "real world" by boosting your confidence and helping you develop greatly as a person, a thinker, and a worker!
12/01/09
On a social note, a lot of high school girls I've talked to about women's college say, oh having no boys around would be so weeeird. Honestly, having all women around wasn't something I ever even noticed until there was an errant young man wandering the dining halls. Dating, which is a fairly common concern, is not really limited, I mean I had a boyfriend on another campus, many straight students found plenty of opportunities to date men from other schools, but I thought it was nice to not have to worry about those things when I was trying to concentrate on classes or homework.
I could go on, but I'd be rambling. If you're strongly considering a women's college, know that it is a fantastic opportunity to learn and grow in an environment that encourages you to be strong and knowledgeable and well-rounded, to meet and learn from strong women AND men who are committed to women's education and advancing women in every field, every aspect of society, and equips you to deal with whatever the real world can throw at you. (As an example, the women's study department handed out wellesley-stamped multi-tools to its students the year I graduated, which I thought was hilariously appropriate). If you're interested in Wellesley specifically and have questions, I'd be happy to talk to you :-) Good luck with college applications!
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Whatever we do, we'll encounter awful people anyway...
12/01/09
I've noticed that guys with older sisters tend to understand women the best, followed (far behind) by men with younger sisters. Guys without older sisters who went to all boy schools tend to be the most clueless. I think friendship can related to that, but I don't think female friendships say that much about guys.
All male environments foster the idea that women (other than your mother) are space aliens in a way all female environments don't foster the same ideas about men. I think the culture of masculinity is the root problem but all boys schools don't help.
12/01/09
It feels sort of like the onus for teaching boys that women are people is being passed off from the shoulders of the media/teachers/culture and onto the shoulders of... young girls?
Who are trying to figure out their own personhood already and maybe shouldn't have that responsibility.
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12/01/09
For example, in a game he has, there are 4 gunners, one of them is female. He chose to play as her, which surprised me. Then he commented on how "hot" she was and made dog-panting noises. I rolled my eyes and said something like, "Yeah, because that's what matters. Is she a good shooter?", to which he said yeah, she's the best in the game and I tried to focus his attention on that.
But he's 9, and these things are already in his head. His brother is rampantly sexist, from what I hear. I've never met the kid, but he sounds like a total asshole.
12/01/09
Setting aside the many issues that this study has, I'd say that I could see the argument that boys may be in greater need of actually being around girls in terms of this kind of socialization, not because one gender is easier to "figure out" than the other, but because of a particular cultural context that is rather male dominated. Even if girls attend single-sex schools, they're still going to be participating in a media and literary culture that is dominated by the male gaze. They're still watching tv shows and movies mostly about men, still reading books like The Odyssey and Huckleberry Finn and The Catcher in the Rye, and still generally exposed to a (white) male cultural view. The same doesn't go for boys, regardless of their class make up. I could at least entertain the notion that this would be further aggravated by only being around boys in their education as well.