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New York, 7:44 PM
Fri Dec 18
69 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of sweetmamagirl008 sweetmamagirl008
    12/13/09

    In reply to Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!
    Was mistress #15 on Jersey Shore?
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment sweetmamagirl008 was starred sweetmamagirl008 was unstarred
    Image of CaptainSnarky CaptainSnarky
    12/13/09

    In reply to Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!
    Mistress #15 is funny. Ferrrrr suuuuure...
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment CaptainSnarky was starred CaptainSnarky was unstarred
    Image of JanaNye JanaNye
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    My pet peeve is being told to smile. I just have one of those pissed off looking faces. People tell me I look intimidating and and don't look approachable so when I'm out I count in my head and smile on the third count. I don't think it works.
     Reply
    maude_flanders promoted this comment JanaNye was starred JanaNye was unstarred
    Image of maude_flanders maude_flanders
    12/09/09

    @JanaNye: I hate it too. I think I have one of those faces--even when I'm totally relaxed, if I'm slightly anxious or tired, people see it. I've gotten better about it, but it's hard, because my mouth seems to naturally tuck down at the corners anyway.

    To some extent, I understand why it's good to look approachable, but there are times when I'm pissed off and don't really give a shit what some unwelcome audience thinks if I want to scowl to myself.

    Anyway, yeah, I can sympathize...it CAN feel humiliating when a someone blithely demands that you smile (especially and unsurprisingly from strangers...and strange men, who feel the need to comment on a woman's appearance simply b/c she has the gall to be out in public).
     Reply
    maude_flanders was starred maude_flanders was unstarred
    Image of JanaNye JanaNye
    12/09/09

    @maude_flanders: Thanks Maude. I work in patient care which is essentially customer service. So when the crotchety old man approaches me and tells me 'smile honey its not that bad' I'd rather punch him in the face than give him the satisfaction of smiling. Maybe this is why I haven't been promoted....
     Reply
    JanaNye was starred JanaNye was unstarred
    Image of maude_flanders maude_flanders
    12/09/09

    @JanaNye: ugh....that's the worst part. It's bad enough when I'm walking down the street and may just be having a bad day. Unless I'm frowning AT you, don't demand that I "smile" when I'm exhausted or worried, and at WORK.

    That's the kind of crap that makes me a little ageist....anticipating senility/the condescension of your elders (or any one else who has the nerve to all be spell out for you, "whatever is happening to you right now....I'm pointedly watching you, and it CAN'T be that bad, b/c you're a woman. SMILE! Smile for ME.")
     Reply
    maude_flanders was starred maude_flanders was unstarred
    Image of JanaNye JanaNye
    12/09/09

    @maude_flanders: I know. I would never tell someone to smile. So much of my day is spent masking my contempt.
     Reply
    JanaNye was starred JanaNye was unstarred
    Image of redqueenmeg redqueenmeg
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    Sorta OT but Hillary looks so cute there! And I can say that because in one of my wedding photos I swear I am making the exact same face.
     Reply
    redqueenmeg was starred redqueenmeg was unstarred
    Image of psychokitty psychokitty
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    Looking at the comments from yesterday, I have been thinking that there is a real discrepancy between how women are "supposed" to act, and how they have to act to succeed in a lot of careers. In our society I think stereotypically feminine traits like the appearance of happiness and the absence of aggressiveness might win you friends, but they definitely don't do you any good if you want to climb the corporate ladder. It's like women are expected to be two different things depending on the situation, and having a "feminine" personality is most definitely not always rewarded in our society.
     Reply
    Alys Brangwin has a huge talent promoted this comment Edited by psychokitty at 12/09/09 11:13 AM psychokitty was starred psychokitty was unstarred
    Image of Rare Affinity Rare Affinity
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    If you want to see my angry face just come up to me, as a complete stranger and say:Cheer up. Why so sad?
    Usually I am just minding my own business at the time and am neither happy nor sad. It infuriates me that strangers think they have a right to demand that my facial features should be set in a certain way.
     Reply
    Edited by Rare Affinity at 12/09/09 10:56 AM Rare Affinity was starred Rare Affinity was unstarred
    Image of Ohthesarcasm Ohthesarcasm
    12/09/09

    @Rare Affinity: I completely agree! My roommate passed me on the street and asked me why I was so sad. I wasn't sad, I was thinking. And then I felt like I was obligated to look happy. Sucks.
     Reply
    maude_flanders promoted this comment Ohthesarcasm was starred Ohthesarcasm was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/09/09

    @Rare Affinity: The only people I'm ok with telling me to smile are the vendors of Street Sense, D.C.'s street newspaper. I really don't know why. But it happens quite often and I do smile and feel better afterwards.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of bluetrain84 bluetrain84
    12/09/09

    @Rare Affinity: Uggh, this happens to me ALL THE TIME at the gym, of all places. Usually while I am lifting or sprinting or something that takes a lot of work, which is the exact opposite of when most people look happy. I am not a smiley doll!
     Reply
    bluetrain84 was starred bluetrain84 was unstarred
    Image of redqueenmeg redqueenmeg
    12/09/09

    @Rare Affinity: I get "cheer up" a lot because when I am not making ANY face I look really really sad. "Cheer up" makes me twitchy. Then I wonder how I come across in job interviews!
     Reply
    redqueenmeg was starred redqueenmeg was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    Mom: Now, madeofawesome, why haven't you found yourself a nice fella?
    me: They just can't identify my FACE, Mom!
     Reply
    PaigeTurner promoted this comment madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of minnesotameltdown minnesotameltdown
    12/09/09

    In reply to Face/Off
    I'll help you identify an angry female face, motherf***ers!
     Reply
    minnesotameltdown was starred minnesotameltdown was unstarred
    Image of minnesotameltdown minnesotameltdown
    12/09/09

    @minnesotameltdown: I'm joking...JOKING. I'm certainly not angry at being reduced to a smiling beauty queen and/or a damsel in distress by people all over the world, the moment they see me. I'm not angry at all, about anything. That would just be unattractive.
     Reply
    alouette promoted this comment Edited by minnesotameltdown at 12/09/09 10:36 AM minnesotameltdown was starred minnesotameltdown was unstarred
    Image of alouette alouette
    12/09/09

    @minnesotameltdown: What's anger? I just SMILE when I'm upset!
     Reply
    alouette was starred alouette was unstarred
    Image of minnesotameltdown minnesotameltdown
    12/09/09

    @alouette: When I'm upset, I treat myself to a day at the spa:) I make sure to to get a bikini wax while I'm there, as a little treat for my husband!
     Reply
    Edited by minnesotameltdown at 12/09/09 10:57 AM minnesotameltdown was starred minnesotameltdown was unstarred
    Image of lermanzo lermanzo
    12/09/09

    @alouette: you may laugh... but i had a high school teacher who did just that. she would smile wider and wider and then her neck would tense and her veins would show... but she never stopped smiling. and she would be telling you the most withering comments ever.

    oh calculus class.
     Reply
    lermanzo was starred lermanzo was unstarred
    Image of alouette alouette
    12/09/09

    @lermanzo: Reaction formation!
     Reply
    alouette was starred alouette was unstarred
    Image of lermanzo lermanzo
    12/09/09

    @alouette: it was like "where's your homework? :-) oh? you didn't do it :-D"

    creeeeeepy
     Reply
    lermanzo was starred lermanzo was unstarred
    Image of Scout Scout
    12/07/09

    In reply to Fun With Fashion: Onee-Kei Is Cute, Not Costumey
    the ladies are all so lovely - though I am very fascinated with the gorgeousness on images #6 and #15 sexxxy!
     Reply
    Scout was starred Scout was unstarred
    Image of sequined sequined
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    I am fairly sure that there have been studies and reports (I think featured on Jezebel) in the past that suggest that everyone learns better around girls. (That's a summary, obvs.) But more research to support important info about education is good; now we just have to figure out how to implement it and make our education system work better for students, teachers, and parents.
     Reply
    sequined was starred sequined was unstarred
    Image of la.donna.pietra la.donna.pietra
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    The only anecdotal evidence I can provide is from Hogwarts. 3/4ths of those kids turned out okay. Clearly, the answer is to provide mixed-sex education with an emphasis on courage, bravery, nerve and chivalry; hard work, loyalty, tolerance, and fair play; intelligence, creativity, learning, and wit. Ambition, cunning, leadership and resourcefulness and most of all pure wizard blood will be de-emphasized.
     Reply
    la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred
    Image of Hecklerette Hecklerette
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    I went to an all girls high school. I can't trust my own observations of myself, but I feel OK.

    My brother went to hugely elite all male high school, and went on to the most elite college in the US (with a truckload of high school friends in tow.)

    He's hugely successful, but I can't bear the way he talks to his wife. I can't be around the both of them; it's just painful. He picks at what she says and is a condescending jerk. I really believe that the school he went to fostered this behavior. That place was poison. I mean, what do you expect to get from taking all the academically successful Catholic 13 year old boys in the city, and locking together for four years? The place is a jackass factory.

    I still resent that school for turning him into that. And we're in our 20s.
     Reply
    Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! promoted this comment Hecklerette was starred Hecklerette was unstarred
    Image of Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
    12/01/09

    @Hecklerette: Jackass factory. I'm stealing that.
     Reply
    Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was unstarred
    Image of Hecklerette Hecklerette
    12/01/09

    @Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: Please do! Once we raise aware of the Jackass Factories in the world, we can crush them.
     Reply
    Hecklerette was starred Hecklerette was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    12/01/09

    @Hecklerette: I like the way you think.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of thehighshelf thehighshelf
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    it's not surprising that a dominant group, separated throughout their developmental lives from a minority group, can't relate to that minority group later in their lives.

    that separation from a dominant group aids the personal development of most members of the minority group, is also not surprising.

    what people think those two facts mean continues to surprise and depress me.
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment thehighshelf was starred thehighshelf was unstarred
    Image of salthegeek salthegeek
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    This explains ALLOT of things in my current life.... (Or why I end up in the Friend Zone with all my friends that are girls)
     Reply
    salthegeek was starred salthegeek was unstarred
    Image of theamazeeaz theamazeeaz
    12/01/09

    In reply to Are Single-Sex Schools Bad For Boys?
    Three things:
    1. I did the single-sex thing for college. A women-only environment takes away any sense of gender roles, turning clubs and subjects into things some people like and things some people don't like. I was a Physics major who once worked in the theater doing heavy lifting on the fly crew (I am petite). I know the dynamic of both those activities would have changed if I were at a coed school.

    2. A public middle school teacher I know once said that within a minute of being alone with only his male students for some forgotten reason- bam- the climate changed and they started to ask about sex and girls and health topics they were dying to know about. So I think single sex activities are still good for boys because they have the same benefits of gender deconstruction and give them a safe space.

    3. I suspect that single sex education is detrimental to boys because of a minority/majority effect more than an inherent gender issue. I imagine African-American students who attend historically black colleges do better than their peers who do not, but someone who attended a school for just white students would come out a complete ass because she/he would have no conceptions of minorities of any race as people of intelligence and skill.
     Reply
    theamazeeaz was starred theamazeeaz was unstarred
    Image of bellzar08 bellzar08
    12/01/09

    @theamazeeaz: Hello.
    If you don't mind, how was your experience at a women-only college? I'm a junior in high school and I'm considering going to one.
    My mother warns that real life is not based on being around only women and that it is not a realistic portrayal of what I will experience in the "real world".
    Your thoughts?
     Reply
    SarahMC promoted this comment bellzar08 was starred bellzar08 was unstarred
    Image of theamazeeaz theamazeeaz
    12/01/09

    @bellzar08: I liked it a lot because most guys at my high school were immature and a single-sex school solved that problem. College isn't really a "real-world" experience, it's about getting an education. You could argue that single-sex schools aren't necessary because you can get an education anywhere, but I found the climate where I went worked best for me. For me, the biggest problem about a single sex college was people asking about it before and after more so than when I was there
     Reply
    Her Grace promoted this comment theamazeeaz was starred theamazeeaz was unstarred
    Image of SarahMC SarahMC
    12/01/09

    @bellzar08: I didn't go to a women's college but I just want to remind you that NO college setting is like the "real world." Think about it. You won't live in dorms and eat in the dining hall and go to class and be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people your age.
    College is part of the real world. Everything is. Maybe your mom is conflating an office environment with the real world; I don't know. But there is more to the real world than your workplace. An all-women's college experience might even prepare you well for the so-called "real world" by boosting your confidence and helping you develop greatly as a person, a thinker, and a worker!
     Reply
    SarahMC was starred SarahMC was unstarred
    Image of PollyCoeurl PollyCoeurl
    12/01/09

    @bellzar08: I went to Wellesley, and I am now a few years out in medical school. I went to a Catholic co-ed high school, and an inner city co-ed K-8 before that. In high school, I was definitely not afraid to seem smart and had very little problem speaking up, before I was in a co-ed environment. But I was also a kid who read books like Reviving Ophelia and about girls' eduction in middle school, so perhaps I was kind of a self-selecting applicant for a single sex college education. While I might not have needed to be in an all-female environment to perform well, it was a unique experience to be in the sciences and surrounded by women. There were a number male professors as well as female, and the ones I encountered in the sciences were really dedicated to teaching specifically at a women's college and helping us become the best scientists we could be in an environment that did not beat us over the head with the male-dominated norm in many fields (perhaps not medicine, but certainly in more physical sciences and engineering, from my friends' experiences). And while some, like your family, might tell you that a single-sex institution is not an accurate representation of the real wold, SarahMC is right, no college setting is the real world. College is in itself, a very strange and all-encompassing bubble, and during those four years wherever you go, you will do and see and learn a lot of things that you won't be doing again in the "real world." And while the real world isn't based on having all women around, a lot of fields and situations in the real world are still very male oriented, and it's my opinion that learning how to be strong and confident and vocalize your ideas and needs, and be comfortable with all of that (which some women might never be comfortable doing or be encouraged to do when there are lots of guys around) DOES solidly prepare you for the real world.

    On a social note, a lot of high school girls I've talked to about women's college say, oh having no boys around would be so weeeird. Honestly, having all women around wasn't something I ever even noticed until there was an errant young man wandering the dining halls. Dating, which is a fairly common concern, is not really limited, I mean I had a boyfriend on another campus, many straight students found plenty of opportunities to date men from other schools, but I thought it was nice to not have to worry about those things when I was trying to concentrate on classes or homework.

    I could go on, but I'd be rambling. If you're strongly considering a women's college, know that it is a fantastic opportunity to learn and grow in an environment that encourages you to be strong and knowledgeable and well-rounded, to meet and learn from strong women AND men who are committed to women's education and advancing women in every field, every aspect of society, and equips you to deal with whatever the real world can throw at you. (As an example, the women's study department handed out wellesley-stamped multi-tools to its students the year I graduated, which I thought was hilariously appropriate). If you're interested in Wellesley specifically and have questions, I'd be happy to talk to you :-) Good luck with college applications!
     Reply
    Her Grace promoted this comment PollyCoeurl was starred PollyCoeurl was unstarred
    Image of Her Grace Her Grace
    12/01/09

    @bellzar08: I went to a women's college, too, and can't reccomend it enough (it's also a very, very small school). No, it wasn't like "the real world," but I don't think any college is--no university will have the same mix of class, gender, race, and political views that real life does. What mattered to me was that the school was very safe, very good academically (for its size), and when I visited it felt right. You're welcome to PM me for details.
     Reply
    Her Grace was starred Her Grace was unstarred
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