Jezebel: Gender issues

Parents Of Transgender Boys Take Different, Provocative Paths

Jessica — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

There is a fascinating story up on NPR's website about two little boys who wish they were girls, and the different approaches their parents are taking in dealing with their gender confusion. Basically from birth, both Bradley and Jonah favored girl things. Bradley wanted to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween when he was 2 1/2, and insisted on wearing his Dorothy hair (made out of a tea towel) for months after; Jonah, according to NPR, "was 2 when his father, Joel, first realized that no amount of enthusiasm could persuade his child to play with balls." (Heh, balls.) But seriously, folks. Both these boys wanted to be little girls pretty much from the moment they could express the desire, and while Bradley's parents have tried to force him out of it — by taking away his Polly Pockets and Barbies and encouraging interaction with other boys — Jonah's parents have allowed him to embrace his desires. At this point, Jonah's parents refer to him as "she", and she herself tells people her name is Jona.

Both Bradley and Jonah are under the care of psychiatric professionals — Dr. Ken Zucker and Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, respectively. Zucker and Ehrensaft have conflicting theories on how best to deal with a transgender child. Zucker, based in Toronto, believes that boys like Bradley should be socialized as boys, even if they see themselves as girls. He reasons, "Suppose you were a clinician and a 4-year-old black kid came into your office and said he wanted to be white. Would you go with that? ... I don't think we would." Eherensaft, who works out of the Bay Area, sees Jonah's condition as clear cut case of transgender identity. "If we allow people to unfold and give them the freedom to be who they really are, we engender health. And if we try and constrict it, or bend the twig, we engender poor mental health," she tells NPR.

I know both sets of parents are just trying to do right by their children, but it's incredibly difficult to defend Zucker's point of view when you hear how unhappy Bradley is. Since his parents took away all his "girly" stuff, his mom says, Bradley "really struggles with the color pink. He really struggles with the color pink. He can't even really look at pink...He's like an addict. He's like, 'Mommy, don't take me there! Close my eyes! Cover my eyes! I can't see that stuff; it's all pink!'" Meanwhile, Jonah — now Jona — is thriving. According to her teacher, "Jonah is one of the most popular kids. Kids love her, they want to play with her, she's fun, and it's because she's so comfortable with herself that she makes other people comfortable."

Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences [NPR]
Q&A Therapists On Gender Identity Issues In Kids [NPR]

Boo-Hoo: Some Men Are Afraid Of "Bossy" Women

Jessica — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:30:00 EDT

We spend a lot of time here discussing the state of Womanity, but what about the disenfranchised men we're furiously displacing with our quest for equality? According to a survey commissioned by a British men's TV network called DMAX (home to such fare as Mega Mutt and Star Munchies), the majority of British men say they must live according to "women's rules," the Telegraph reports. In addition, 33% say they feel "handcuffed" by political correctness and are unable to speak their minds, and an equal number of men are afraid of bossy women. The Telegraph says that British men are thirsting for a return to "traditional" manliness, which they say American scholars have termed a "menaissance."

The dubiousness of this "study" is obvious from the get-go, since it was performed by the British equivalent of Spike TV and only polled 2,000 people, but I'd also argue that women don't want what the survey called "waxed and coiffed metrosexuals," despite the fact that men think they do. My concept of being a "real man" is fulfilling responsibilities (though I suppose that goes across gender — that's my concept of being a real woman, too), and just because those responsibilities are shifting towards domesticity doesn't have any bearing on their "manhood."

The same survey says that "63 percent of women recognize that men are struggling to meet the demands made of them," and to that I say, so fucking what? Women have been struggling to meet the demands of work and home life forever, so it's good that men are bearing some of the load of that difficult balance. Maybe the British men in this survey would feel more manly if they stopped being such pussies and stepped up to the same set of issues women have been dealing with for at least thirty years.

Modern Men Feel Emasculated, Study Claims [Telegraph]

Women On The Verge Of A Financial Breakdown

dodai — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:00:00 EST

If one of your New Year's resolutions is to get your finances in order, consider this: A new UK survey shows that female graduates face 16 years of student debt, compared to the 11 years men face, reports The Guardian. Part of the problem is that women don't get paid as much — often as much as 20% less — and, some say, they're also more likely to take time off to have children. Higher education minister David Willetts says: "This shows that women get a raw deal in the labour market. Women's earnings are more intermittent and still lower than men's. This year interest rates on loans doubled from 2.4% to 4.8% and this shows that those debts hit women the most."

Argues Kat Stark, women's officer at the National Union of Students: "Women are taking longer than men to pay off their student loans because they are paid less, not because they are taking time off to have children. Within three years of graduating, over 40% of men are earning over £25,000, compared to just over a quarter of women." In addition, aren't young women entering the workforce expected to spend more money on work-appropriate clothes and grooming than young men? Don't we get set up for post-collegiate debt early on? And are you done paying your school loans? Yeah, neither are we.

Women Take Longer To Repay Student Loans [Guardian]