Jezebel 
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New York, 9:11 PM
Mon Nov 9
52 posts in the last 24 hours
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07/29/09
I always hated my real last name, don't want to be associated with my fathers family, and found another artist who is already qute famopuswhen you google my real name.
At that point, it kind of became as much a business decision as a personal one.
I just want someone to explain to m the logistics of legally changing your name in California. Everythng I've read is very fuzzy about it..
07/29/09
My solution is an entirely new last name, unrelated to either of our families. Smooshing them together doesn't work (no pleasant combination can be produced), but there's a whole world of choices--and I have one in mind. I figure it pisses everyone off equally--her family and mine. Win! I'm working on convincing her.
07/29/09
The thing is.. her last name is VERY common, my dad's last name is pretty unique, which *might* be an asset since I'm in academia (easy for people to recognize... although not easy to spell. What do you Jezebelles think? I am about to get my MA so I am particularly interested, since once I get my MA I don't want to chainge. (I want my higher ed degrees to be in the name I'll have forever.)
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I am in a long term lesbian relationship. We can't get married or even have a domestic partnership in my state. We decided to legaly change our last names to match, and since neither of us was particually attached to our father's names we chose our own together.
I wasn't very fond of my maiden name - it's French and I live in Texas where no one pronounces it correctly - or hell- even phonetically. I also have two siblings one being a brother with a son - so the all important name will pass on to another unlucky generation. Besides, my dad's last name is from his adopted father - not even a bio father. Meh.
My partner had an obscure last name that isn't popular here in the States. She also has siblings with children.
So we flipped thru some books, talked about it etc and made our own last name. I love having the same last name as the woman I consider my wife.
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if i took my fiance's name, i would have a fabulous illiteration, and a last name that is both unique and easy to pronounce.
however, i am solely the last generation with my family's surname, and i know my dad would be devastated if i changed it, as it's all on me.
07/29/09
is illiteration a word brosephina? if not it should be. Like either the ability to make someone illiterate or like some kind of combination of alliteration and illustration.
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in fact i don't know anyone from high school or college that DIDN'T take their husband's name - and i am friends with a very successful and highly educated bunch :)
07/29/09
I like the idea of both couples adopting both last names, without a hyphen. A college mentor of mine and his wife did that, and I've always admired it.
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I was extremely surprised, and when we decided to get married, I did not hold him to that conversation. I stated, simply, that I did not plan on changing my name (my name has the perfect cadence to it, and his last name sounded suspiciously like "Shits"). He stuck to that initial decision though, and said he'd change his name.
However, we did get into a huge argment about titles. In reaffirming his decision, he looked me deep and lovingly in the eyes, and said "Mr. and Mrs. [my last]." I promptly squashed that, saying it sounded like I married my brother, and I would clearly be "Ms" An argument ensued, that ended with me going to the Universal Life Church website and getting ordained, so we could be Mr. and Rev. and have done with it.
Oddly, when we announced our decision to our parents, his parents were disappointed but ultimately cool with it. My dad, on the otherhand, was less supportive. After I told him, he said he thought it was a huge mistake because "You can't be a confident, successful person if you don't have your own name!" (he neglected to explain how my mom, or his mother had mentioned to be incredible strong successful women, despite taking their husbands' names).
I know I will be receiving cards addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Shits for most of my life, and I'm fine with that. If anything, while I am grateful for my husband's willingness to change his name, part of me is sad I'll never be "Mrs. So-and-so". But in the end, I'd rather stay a Ms. (or Rev.), with the joyful poetry of my own name, than become a Mrs Shits, and i am tremendously grateful that to my husband did not try to demand I give it up.
07/29/09
Also, I know a couple that invented a new last name. They picked Thomas.
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