crappy hour

Future VP Bobby Jindal's College Girlfriend Possessed By Satan? Or Just Horny?

Meet Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal! He's the frontrunner to be the running mate to the presidential candidate closest to death, so it will surely please you to know that, in his brief 36-year life, he has endured many difficult things, including the presence of SATAN HIMSELF. Well, it was either Satan, or a melodramatic college junior whose desire to fuck him made him worry he was gay or something. But we're going to go with Satan, since he's running for vice president, and what better proof that the Devil Remains At Large than the current holder of the vice presidency? That said Bobby's story, written about an episode that took place while he was a rather Jesus-y undergrad at Brown University, sounds a little too much like an emotionally unavailable twentysomething dude's account of a relationship with girl with "drama" to be quite convincing.Watch Glamocracy Megan and I parse Bobby Jindal's satanic verses — and the gas tax holiday bullshit! — after the jump. Seriously, it is so much awesomer than Kucinich with the UFO. More »

crappy hour

Dear Barry: We Agree, Please Just Start Smoking Again (Just Not Menthols)

Today, TheRoot made the courageous call no other news outlet, mainstream or meme-stream, has had the foresight (or clear-eyed grasp of the myriad complexities of the current era) to do, and penned an open letter to Michelle Obama requesting an indulgence so Barack can have a fucking cigarette."Think about the pure gold of 'Barack outside smoking with the boys,' like he surely used to do, talking sports with the friendly janitors who were having a smoke outside the University of Chicago Law School," Paul Devlin writes, reasoning that a few smokes might even help him win over white voters. "If Hillary had stopped smoking, believe me, she'd have started again (and denied she ever stopped), and then reminisced about her smoking breaks with the gals back when she worked as a hair-netted cafeteria lady in a Terre Haute elementary school." There are many other reasons we could add to the list of Reasons To Light Up, starting with the recent revelation that Jeremiah Wright is a fucking underminer, and that self-professed "liberal" Chinese students in the United States are turning increasingly nationalistic. Megan and I list a few others after the jump, but only because it gives me an excuse to light up a cigarette. More »