• Keith Urban says the rumors that wife Nicole Kidman is pregnant again are not true, but rather, "A little bit of tweaking [of photos] does that..."

• He continued, "If we were to have another child though we would be very happy but we are more then happy with Sunday. We feel very blessed to have one child." [The Sun]
• The private family funeral service for Michael Jackson will be held at 10 a.m. on Tuesday at Forest Lawn in L.A. Then a motorcade will go to either the Staples Center or the Nokia Theater for a public memorial. [TMZ]
• According to NBC 4 in L.A., Debbie Rowe said in a phone interview that she's going to fight for custody of Michael Jackson's two oldest children. She said she's seeking a restraining order against Joe Jackson and will submit to a DNA test to prove she's their biological mother. [TMZ]
• In a new interview with Details, Quincy Jones said Michael Jackson didn't accept his race. "It's ridiculous, man! Chemical peels and all of it. And I don't understand it. But he obviously didn't want to be black ... You see his kids?" said Quincy, who added that Bubbles the chimp once bit a hole in his daughter's hand. [TMZ]
• President Obama says the only reason he hadn't made a statement about Michael Jackson's death is that no one asked him about it. He said today, "I grew up on his music - still have all his stuff on my iPod," in an AP interview, adding that Michael "will go down in history as one of our greatest entertainers. I think that his brilliance as a performer also was paired with a tragic and, in many ways, sad personal life. I'm glad to see that he is being remembered primarily for the great joy that he brought to a lot of people through his extraordinary gifts as an entertainer." [AP]
• Lou Ferrigno, who was training Michael Jackson for his London concerts, says that MJ used to prank call him using the name "Omar," the same name he allegedly used to score more prescription drugs. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was planning to perform a duet with his 12-year-old son Prince at his London concerts. [Us]
• You can watch a video of Michael Jackson rehearsing for his summer concerts here: [TMZ]
• Here's a description of Neverland from a reporter who toured it yesterday: [MSNBC]
• The woman accused of slashing Leonardo DiCaprio at a party in 2005 was arrested in Canada and will be extradited to the U.S. Police finally caught her because she was found guilty of assaulting an ex-boyfriend. [The Daily Express]
• A reporter in the Chris Brown assault case may be held in contempt of court because he allegedly posted videos on his website of interviews filmed in the hallway outside the court room, which is against the court's rules. [TMZ]
• In response to Megan Fox saying Transformers is "not a movie about acting," Michael Bay said, "Well, that's Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do." [Us]
• Now that Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards, he's working on a deal to host the Emmys on September 20. [Variety]
• Tom Cruise took Suri to the zoo yesterday in Australia to see a kangaroo. [News.com.au]
• Gary Coleman's wife was arrested last night for domestic violence and disorderly conduct at their home in Utah. She allegedly broke household items and Gary was unharmed. [TMZ]
• RHONJ Danielle Staub's ex-husband Kevin Maher says she shouldn't have gone on TV because of her shady past. "She helped put a couple of big-time Colombian coke dealers in jail," says Kevin. "These are dangerous men who never forget...and they could be back out on the street now. It's mind-boggling to me that she'd put herself at risk. I believe she's shown incredibly poor judgment by putting herself and her family in the public eye. Now she could be an easy target for some bad men with long memories." [Star]
• You can check out Brad Pitt's new Japanese commercial for Softbank here: [Perez Hilton]
• Senator Al Franken said that when people call his office and get put on call, they'll hear the Grateful Dead. Franken said: "Yeah, it's going to be my hold music ... in the Senate, which I've noticed is all classical music. I'm going to try and choose American music, Minnesota music." [Politico]
• Ray Romano on his upcoming TNT show Men Of A Certain Age, about a group of male friends in their 40s: "I created it with Michael Royce, my friend and writer. It's kind of like Raymond where I was involved in everything. But Raymond at a certain point runs itself ... But this one, there's even more pressure because it's my return to television and those sometimes have a track record of not being good. So I really want to put all the effort into making this good. And even then it may not be what people want or expect. So you never know. But yeah, I want to be involved in all of it. Except if it fails, then I'll say it wasn't me." [Reuters]
• Liev Schreiber says of Naomi Watts, "One of the things that is good about our relationship is that we both love acting, so we talk about it a lot. It's our business. We love to watch things and talk about them. We can be really catty about each other and other people's work. We can't help it. It's fun for us to gossip and talk about work. I also think we inspire each other. I like impressing her and I know that she likes impressing me." [The Daily Express]

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

• A stupid psychic has made some predictions for 2009: Michelle Williams will wed Neil Patrick Harris, Jen and Angelina will co-star in a movie and Tina Fey will fight Sarah Silverman. [Page Six]

• Matt Dillon was arrested in Vermont last night for excessive speeding. He was going 106 m.p.h. on Interstate 91. [WCAX]
• After only six episodes, MTV has decided to pull 50 Cent's bizarre/just plain terrible Apprentice knock-off, The Money and the Power. We never thought we'd say this to anyone but: 50, stop trying to be P. Diddy. [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Puff: he's telling British newspapers that he wants to be the US's first black James Bond and that he thought he was dreaming when Obama was elected POTUS. [Times UK]
• The BBC decided to pull Paul McCartney's squeaking, "trans-racial" impersonation of Michael Jackson during a recent interview because it might been seen as offensive. [Telegraph]
• OMG: Mariah Carey is currently in talks to make a Broadway musical about her life. She has been considering Vanessa Hudgens, Eva Longoria and Leona Lewis to play her in the sure-to-be-amazing production. [Telegraph]
• JLo and Marc Anthony fought divorce rumors by jetting off to Puerto Rico for a few days of snuggling. [E! Online]
• Earl "DMX" Simmons plead guilty to three different cases (including one count of cruelty to animals and various drug charges) in Maricopa County whilst wearing classic prison stripes. He will receive a minimum of 90 days in prison and he will not be allowed to own pets during his probation. [TMZ]
• Trading Spaces interior designer Doug Wilson was arrested on Tuesday in Illinois for a DUI. [UPI]
• William Balfour was in a Chicago court yesterday for his involvement in the Hudson family murder case. [E! Online]
• Mercury-tainted actor, Jeremy Piven, has apparently found love with a model-cum-waitress whom he met at Britney Spears' birthday bash. [NYDN]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are reportedly expecting another baby! [Star]
• Here's a video of Lil' Wayne hilariously falling during a recent concert. [Perez Hilton]
• For some reason, the Associated Press is reporting on Gary Coleman and how he has some run-ins with the law in Santaquin, Utah, where he has moved to "escape the paparazzi and autograph seekers." [AP]
• One of the boats that was used in the filming of On Golden Pond has been put up on eBay. The current high offer is $35,910. [UPI]
• Michael Flatley, the Irish-American dancer of "Riverdance" fame, is back on stage after suffering from a "mystery virus" for years. [Reuters]
• A woman who may have been unwillingly used as a decoy for Jamie Lynn Spears at LAX is pissed off and has filed a claim for money with the city. [TMZ]
• Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Arizona but he was quickly released. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner was seen grabbing coffee with sex therapist Dr. Holly Hein in Brentwood, CA. Uh, interesting?[JustJared]
• Hey! My hometown is in the news! For, uh, booking a Miley Cyrus NYE concert at a local high school? But it's for a gal who has worked hard for breast cancer awareness, so that's nice. [E! Online]
• Justin Bobby and Audrina Patridge enjoy what are probably the last few minutes of their 15 minutes of fame by awkwardly couch-dancing at an "eco-friendly hot spot" in LA. [People]
• Lezebels of 2008, Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan, basked in their new titles in South Beach. Sam is doing "much better" after her brief hospital visit. [People]
• Jessica Simpson rushed to the side of her injured beau, Tony Romo, after he collapsed in the shower of his team's locker room after the game on Sunday. [People]
• Ticket sales are down for Elton John's televised NYE bash. Looks like Elton can't back an arena like he used to. [The Sun]
• The title of this video: "Cloris Leachman, Raw and Unclothed." [Extra]
• Dane Cook's brother was arrested by Massachusetts State Police for allegedly stealing millions from his "comedian" brother. Ugh, Dane Cook is the worst, but it sucks when you can't even trust your family anymore. [TMZ]
• Robert Plant was honored by Queen Elizabeth on Wednesday. [Reuters]
• Ho ho ho: Amy Winehouse was spotted frolicking with her hotel's Santa Claus in the Caribbean. [The Sun]
• Try to hold back your disappointment, ladies: Criss Angel and Holly Madison have been spotted looking at engagement rings in Las Vegas. [E! Online]
• Rita Cosby, who alleges that Anna Nicole Smith's former lovers Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern had a homosexual tryst, responds to defamation lawsuit filed by Stern by saying there isn't anything defamatory about calling some dude gay. [TMZ]
• The indie band Dead Man's Bones, of which actor Ryan Gosling is a member, have released a MP3 on their MySpace. [JustJared]

To read more about the clips on the list, and to see longer versions, click the links.

10.) Oprah Teaches Us How To Smile With Our Vajayjays

9.) What Exactly Is Wrong With Gary Coleman?

8.) Martha Stewart & Jane Goodall's Goofy Gorilla Greetings Sound Like Crazy Sex

7.) Girl After Our Own Drunken, Period-Sexed Hearts Crashes Tyra

6.) Tyra's "Modelville": Sore Loser Fails To Escape From The Set

5.) Was Kathleen Turner Soused On Martha Stewart?

4.) Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen Are The Most Boring Guests Oprah Has Ever Interviewed

3.) Father Gives Daughter Bikini Waxes, Rides To Work At A Brothel

2.) Diane Keaton Drops The F-Bomb On Good Morning America

1.) Maury Povitch Tortures Woman With Painful Cotton Ball Phobia

• Okay, so they're saying Beyoncé had a little armpit hair at the Cadillac Records premiere. 1) Who cares? 2) Can you even see it? [Mirror]
• A reader points out you can barely see Beyoncé's pit hair in Perez's pictures, though on TMZ, her pits seem especially hirsute. Photoshop of horrors? [Perez Hilton, TMZ]
• Surely when Kanye West said that Beyoncé is "just as great, if not greater, than artists we had in the past. She’s probably greater than Tina Turner," he had not seen this. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Turner put on a show in New York right after being hospitalized for having a very high fever. Amazing. [Page Six]

• William Balfour, the man accused of killing Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, is innocent, says William Balfour's lawyer. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, so he's headed back to prison to be Blake Incarcerated again. [Daily Mail, Mirror]
• Here's the thing: If Blake had stayed in prison instead of going to rehab as part of an early release, he'd be out at the end of the month. Now he could be in jail until 2010. Whoops! [The Sun]
• Remember how Miley Cyrus said she was "embarrassed" by her Vanity Fair issue with those suggestive Annie Leibovitz pictures? Well she told Scotland's Daily Record: "Everyone outside of America liked it a little bit more because that's more like the style, but the States are really conservative." And! "I would love to be a photographer. She was amazing and so talented and her lighting... I would love to work with her again. But I realize I'm just a kid." [ONTD]
• Madonna was in Buenos Aires yesterday, where she met with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez as well as former guerilla hostage Ingrid Betancourt. [USA Today]
• Twilight's Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett in biopic The Runaways. Do we approve of this casting? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her new clothing line: "Do I draw? No. Then again, nor do lots of designers. But I put it all on myself and walk around in it, and I know what feels comfortable. I know how a dress should sit. I’ve worn so many and when I see the photographs I think, crikey, my boobs are up round my neck again because the corsets are too short and not cut high enough." Ooh, and: "In these recessionary times, and at these prices, women are looking for something that will be an investment, aren’t they?" [Mirror]
• "I was never that good a singer, but I think I am good at fashion." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are being sued by a photographer, who claims he was beaten and robbed of his $3,000 camera after taking a picture of the couple in May. Did the singers' bodyguards go ballistic? [TMZ]
• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery has been suspended by the NHL for making "inappropriate comments." He said: "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," referring to ex girlfriends Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter, who are both dating other players. [AP, Gawker]
• A sneak peek at the season premiere of Lost! Drama for Kate and not-so-little-baby Aaron, involving the nature of their relationship… [LA Times]
• Christina Aguilera wears a heart-shaped locket with her son Max's name on it and a tiny drop of human blood. She doesn't say whose blood it is, but does claim: "I love the symbolism of the blood droplet. It's like Max pierced my heart." [Perez Hilton]
• Naomi Watts plans to get naked in the name of art. [Daily Express]
• First Alyson Hannigan, now How I Met Your Mother costar Cobie Smulders is pregnant, too. Something in the water? [MSNBC]
• Pete Wentz admits that getting Ashlee Simpson knocked up was a "happy accident." [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge has written a blog post in which she says: "I just want to put it on record that never did I EVER call Lauren a 'slut,' 'bad friend,' 'shady person,' etc. I simply asked her a question and that’s how she interpreted it. I didn’t go around town running my mouth either." Plus: "Justin and Lauren treating me like I wasn’t worthy of an explanation was almost worse than the rumor itself, and it only got worse the harder I tried to get a genuine answer." And! as for JustinBobby: "His inexcusable behavior has become somewhat expected at this point. And I just want to say that if I were looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely be looking elsewhere!" [People]
• Zoolander sequel: Good idea? Not sure. Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. [ONTD]
• CBS has a midseason series called Game Show In My Head, a reality show produced by Ashton Kutcher. Contestants must perform "embarrassing and hilarious" tasks in front of strangers to earn cash. [NY Times]
• VH1 is ordering up 8 episodes of Tough Love, a reality series from Nancy Juvonen and Drew Barrymore's Flower Films. The premise: A group of women in a house get "ready" to meet Mr. Right by having their destructive dating habits "reshaped" at "tough love boot camp." [Variety]
• Johnny Depp's production company has acquired the screen rights to In The Hand Of Dante, a Nick Tosches novel. [Variety]
• Tyler Perry was in court over allegations that he stole the material for his blockbuster film Diary of a Mad Black Woman from a playwright named Donna West. [Yahoo News]
• Donny Osmond on gay marriage: "There are many gay individuals that are members of our church. I know many of them. In fact, some of my best friends are gay. You ask how I react regarding their marriages. Well, I do support our Church leaders who say that we can accept those with gay tendencies in our church as long as they do not act upon their temptations. Everyone has tendencies to succumb to temptation, but we all have the same standard given to us by our Father in Heaven. Whether we may be tempted to be immoral with members of our own sex or of the opposite sex, we are expected to live chaste lives." [Joe. My. God., Donny.com]
• Dylan McDermott, who married his wife Shiva Rose in 1995 and = with whom he has two children, will be single again on January 2, when their divorce is final. New year, new you. [TMZ]
• Kristin Chenoweth is working on a memoir, due in stores April 2009. [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais answers reader questions, and talks about the Beckhams being in an Extras special. [The Sun]
• Brandy, who has not recorded anything for four years, has a new album, out December 9. She still faces a wrongful death lawsuit which goes to trial in April, stemming from a car accident in which another driver died. Says she: "What I experienced in the past couple of years was tough, but I had to face it and find the strength to move forward. Connecting back with music has definitely helped me through everything. Once I got back in the studio, the butterflies went away." [Yahoo News]
• Julianne Hough and her boyfriend are "talking marriage" but are not engaged. [People]
• Gary Coleman was in court yesterday, facing a disorderly conduct charge from that Utah incident outside of a bowling alley. He paid $100, case closed. [ET]
• What's a Hollywood lawsuit without mentioning the name Bruce Willis? [TMZ]
• Former Playmate Shauna sand claims she was choked, punched and thrown across the room in front of her kids by her husband, Romain Chavent. She got a restraining order against him yesterday and the paperwork alleges that the Frenchman hit her in the breasts when she'd just had reconstructive surgery. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump is mad at his brother Robert, since Robert's getting divorced but failed to get a pre-nup. Ouch. [Page Six]
• "I have a passion for words. That has always been in me, and I wanted to see if I could come up with some interesting phrases. I wanted to make people laugh a little and to tell some good stories." — actor Christopher Plummer, whose memoir is "engaging." [WSJ]
• "Nobody really wants to recognize that Beyoncé is a fucking living legend." — Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every investor and financier turned down this film because of Mickey Rourke, but I wouldn't do the film without him." — Director Darren Aronofsky, on The Wrestler. [Page Six]
• "Some actors take drugs, drink, and act crazy to light a fire within them; others take drugs, drink, and act oddly to put out the fire in them. Mickey [Rourke] is one of those actors." — Alec Baldwin. [Page Six]
• "It is fun, obviously, to kiss Beyoncé. I insisted on a lot of takes." — Adrien Brody, on his role in Cadillac Records. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I got my gig late, got married late, had my kid late – and none of it came a minute too soon. All my life I'd had this problem with following through, not feeling that I was worth it. Not having a mother makes you think, 'If only I'd been better, she wouldn't have left me.'" — Mariska Hargitay. [People]
• "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times." — noted scholar Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "I'm planning an album of all these great songs from the '60s that I've never covered before. It was such a magical time for music - groups like The Beatles, the Hollies, the Zombies, the Kinks, the Stones and singers like Dylan and Otis Redding… I want to pay tribute to a time when I used to listen to music on my little transistor radio or on my AM radio in my Ford Mustang." — Cher. [Page Six]

• You've heard it before, you'll hear it again: Madonna and Guy: DIVORCE! They want it over by Christmas, says a source. [The Sun]
• Madonna actually wanted to wait until the end of her tour to announce the split. [Mirror]
• And! The divorce settlement could leave Guy Ritchie pocketing up to £150 million. There was no pre-nup! [Daily Mail]
• Here's a chronological "diary" of the events leading up to the divorce. [Mirror]
• Oh, but Madonna's cast was impressed with her dedication on the set of Filth And Wisdom. Lead actress Holly Weston says: "Everything had to be perfect. I think she was even there before us in the morning." [Daily Express]
• Mothers Against Murder and Aggression (MAMA) are "horrified" that Madonna wore Karl Lagerfeld shoes with gun-shaped heels to her film premiere. [Daily Express]

• Hayden Panettiere's dad has been temporarily ordered not to "harass, strike or threaten" his wife. Temporarily??? [People]
• By the by, Hayden Panettiere wants you to smoke cigarettes and vote for John McCain. [Funny Or Die]
• Blake Lively, Penn Badgley and some other kids are backing Barack Obama in a pretty funny MoveOn video. [StarPulse]
• Speaking of Blake Lively, her father was critically injured in a car wreck late Tuesday night. Blake flew to L.A. yesterday to be by his side: actor Ernie Lively has a broken back, arm and nose. "It was pretty bad — he's lucky to be alive," says a source. [Star]
• Blake's dad is expected to make a full recovery. [Us Magazine]
• What's this? Even John McCain thinks Sarah Palin is gonna be on SNL. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston and John "The Player" Mayer had dinner Saturday night New York. Is it back on? Are they just friends? [People]
• Jen and John had dinner Sunday night in New York as well. Reunited, and it feels so good! [Page Six]
• Holy crap: Britney's going on tour next spring? It would be her first time since 2004. Well, touring is where the cash is. The lady has kids to feed. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera says she's having more kids. Definitely. And: "I'm in love with my life." And: "I think it's important to share what I love – what makes me me – with my son. So. I change diapers and I breastfeed him and I play with him and then I work. I want to show Max everything about me." [People]
• Liz Taylor has become a regular at The Abbey, the hottest gay bar in West Hollywood. A source says: "She talks to everyone and everybody just loves her. She particularly likes watermelon martinis and tequila shots." [Daily Express]
• Between building homes for people displaced by Katrina, dabbling in photography and donating $100,000 to support gay marriage in California, Brad Pitt doesn't seem very interested in Hollywood. [ABC News]
• Holly Madison wanted to have kids with Hugh Hefner, so she did everything she could. Yeah, she slept with him. And! She tried fertility treatments. [Extra]
• Demi Moore will make her directorial debut, and the flick will star her daughter, Rumer. It's a 20-minute short film for Glamour's Reel Moments project. [ONTD]
• Someone actually paid $20,000 to box with Michael Lohan. Well, it is for charity. The dude is Robert Venero, president and CEO of Future Tech Enterprise in Holbrook, Long Island. He also bought 50 seats at $150 each so his friends can watch the fight. It all goes down November 24th at the Hilton Long Island in Melville. The rumble is a bungle! [Perez Hilton]
• DJ AM will appear on tour with Jay-Z tonight at the Hollywood Palladium in a big comeback move. [Perez Hilton]
• Colin Farrell has opened up about his stint in rehab on the BBC's Friday Night With Jonathan Ross: "I began to come out of the haze that I was in and had burrowed myself into so deeply...Basically, I'd been fairly drunk or high since I was 14. I was very drunk and high for 16 years, so it was a tough life change, and I was dying. I'm one of the lucky ones." The video is worth watching for his fascinating eyebrows alone. [E!]
• Meredith Vieira stubbed her big toe pretty badly and the financial crisis is to blame. [NY Observer]
• The lawyer who reps Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, is trying to get him less jail time. She wants to speed up his deportation back to Italy and reduce his prison sentence from 5 to 3 years. She also calls him "deeply religious" and mentions his sick mother in Italy. He picked a good one. [Reuters]
• Ashlee Simpson's mom is moving in for a few days — or weeks — to help out after Ash gives birth. Pete Wentz is "cool with it." [Just Jared]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham will be on Gordon Ramsay's new show. Just. Can't> Picture. Her. Cooking. [The Sun]
• The son of the Beckhams' housekeepers has been arrested on suspicion of theft of items from their some that were later offered for sale on eBay. [Daily Mail]
• Reese Witherspoon and Ben Stiller will star in a "wacky disaster comedy" about a Hawaiian volcano that needs a virgin sacrifice? Well, Cameron Crowe is involved… [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell sits on cushions to look taller on TV. [Perez Hilton]
• Kim Kardashian: Calls Reggie Bush her "hubby" but he's not even her fiancé. Someone said they saw that she was hitched on Facebook. "I'm not engaged," she says. "I'm not even on Facebook!" [E!]
• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are putting on a "united front" by going out to dinner amid split rumors, which could mean the rumors are just rumors. [Daily Express]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli: Spotted together in Cancun, then West Hollywood, then Beverly Hills. It's definitely on. [Perez Hilton]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bumped into a waiter and sent a tray of food flying all over his white suit at his birthday dinner in West Hollywood. It might have actually been real and not a joke. [Mirror]
• It seems that Nikki Ziering was pregnant when she was on Hulk Hogan Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Probably not a good idea to wrestle with a bun in the oven, no? [TMZ]
• Vanessa Redgrave and Natasha Richardson, mother and daughter, will play mother and daughter in a one-night concert version of A Little Night Music, the Stephen Sondheim-Hugh Wheeler musical. [AP]
• Gary Coleman pleaded not guilty to charges of disorderly conduct and reckless driving yesterday regarding that September incident at a bowling alley where he allegedly hit a dude with his truck who was trying to take a cell phone picture. Coleman's lawyer says: "He simply acted accordingly with what normal human beings would do." LOL. [AP]
• John Travolta was gonna film in one of Paris's toughest housing projects, but 10 cars to be used in the movie were burned. [Yahoo News]
• A photographer for UK tabloid paper The Sun spills: "Working with Madonna was fantastic… I also got to see Pink in a thong when shooting the video for one of her in a shower. I tried to avert my eyes but it was strange..." Mariah Carey is the biggest diva who "doesn’t like downward shadows on her face." [The Sun]
• Christie Brinkley is suing ex-husband Peter Cook for taking her kids out of town by single-engine plane. [NY Post]
• Tim McGraw apologizes for his greatest hits album. Not for the music, but for not releasing new tracks. Although he blames his label. [People]
• "I had just lost my virginity the year before. So to go from doing that to shooting a love scene... I remember I talked to Sean Connery about it and told him I was nervous before going in there and he just said, 'Well, all I can tell you boy is breathe, remember to breathe.'" — Christian Slater, on his first love scene, in The Name Of The Rose.
• "It's coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I'm ready to kind of walk away. I've been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time. It's more difficult when not only everyone knows about your problems, but they make them worse because things escalate and things get twisted. It's hard to have an actual friendship be torn apart in the media." — Lauren Conrad, on The Hills. [Perez Hilton]
• "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks…to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both." — Denis Leary. [Page Six]

• Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to the campaign to defeat Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that would ban same-sex marriage in the state. In a statement, he says: "Because no one has the right to deny another their life even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8." [Variety]
• Hilary Swank is recovering from a "minor" medical procedure; she had a "growth" removed and is totally fine. Except the word "growth" is sorta gross. [ET]
• Amy Poehler is sad about leaving SNL: "I'm on the verge of tears every minute. The cast and writers there are so dear, dear to me. I can't quite imagine not doing it. From now until my due date, we have about six shows and three election specials. I'm so, so sad about leaving." [USA Today]
• Oprah's BFF Gayle King spills on O's 30 Rock stint! "It is a hoot," Gayle tells New York magazine. "It was taped last Saturday. Let me tell you, Tina Fey and Oprah Winfrey together is magic. Oprah and Tina together: Hilarious. H-I-L-A-A-A-R-I-O-U-S." [NY Mag]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan is all prO-bama, and the Obama camp is like, "Thanks, but no thanks"? Michael Lohan says: "Everyone is entitled to an opinion and so is Obama and his staff. Then again, you know what they say about opinions. Unfortunately, for them, to make such a comment about my daughter was a big mistake… Look at Angelina Jolie and the wonderful things she has done in her life, and now watch how Lindsay does the same." Wait, does this mean that LL is going to adopt a Vietnamese baby? [TMZ]
• Speaking of Lindsay, does she have a crush on Victoria Beckham? At the premiere of Ugly Betty, she was heard saying: "I love her hair. She looks really hot at the moment. It reminds me of Sam." [ONTD]
• Superclassy Joe Francis says: "Lindsay's straight. I think Sam has taken ownership of Lindsay. I think if Sam were to let Lindsay go even that much; Lindsay would revert back to being straight." [E!]
• Will Smith was asked if he was a Scientologist. He replied: "I am not." There you have it! [Perez Hilton]
• Juliette Lewis says Tom Cruise is not the representation of all things Scientology. "I feel so bad for him, because that's the responsibility that's put on him." She also says Scientology is not what you think it is: "It's just really practical, applied religious philosophy. And you'll get lost in the media with these fantastic, fantastical - is that a word? - stories of, like, aliens and, you know, gay cover-ups … the rumours, they're astonishing. And they would be funny, if they weren't so hurtful." [Perez Hilton]
• Here's video of Madonna falling on stage in concert while playing guitar and grinding, "just for the lulz." [ONTD]
• By the by, in Madonna's film, her directorial debut called Filth And Wisdom, a pivotal scene involves a stripper dancing to Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time." [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston is in Mexico with a mystery man. [The Sun]
• R. Kelly was interviewed for the first time since being acquitted of child pornography charges. When asked if he liked teenage girls, Kelly replied: "When you say teenage, how — how old are we talkin' ... 19? I have some 19-year-old friends. But I don't like anybody illegal, if that's what we're talking about, underage." [Yahoo News]
• Rose McGowan said that she would have joined the Irish Republican Army if she'd lived in Belfast during the conflicts there; producers of her film, Fifty Dead Men Walking have issued a statement that goes like this: "Ms. McGowan's views were private ones, and as such they greatly saddened the film's producers." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Elizabeth Hurley is now like the Jimmy Dean of England and sells pork for sausage and bacon. No, really. [The Sun]
• Jason Wahler's trial is set for November 3; he's accused of roughing up a tow-truck driver. There are also allegations that he shouted racial slurs at the plaintiff, who is black. [E!]
• Gary Coleman has been charged with misdemeanor reckless driving and disorderly conduct after an incident at a bowling alley in Utah. A fan tried to take Gary's picture with a cell phone camera; Gary allegedly attacked him and ran over him with his truck. [E!]
• Actor Thomas Jane (seen in The Punisher, married to Patricia Arquette) has pleaded no contest to drunken driving after doing 120 mph in a Maserati. He's been sentenced to to a year of probation, $1,700 in fines and alcohol abuse classes. Didn't the Medium see this coming? [Yahoo News]
• Those Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates ads are ending. Try to act interested. [LA Times]
• John Cleese is making like his James Bond alter ego Q and hosting a new gadget show in the UK. [The Sun]
• Ranae Shrider, aka Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer's ex-girlfriend, says she has no idea who is behind the overseas website that released a sex tape of Ranae and Verne. "I actually found out about the website when a friend of mine from college called and asked, 'Did you know you can have sex with Mini-Me for $9.95?'" Shrider says. [AVN]
• Denzel Washington, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Martin Sheen, Wesley Clark and Shaquille O'Neal, who attended the Boys & Girls Clubs of America as children, have lent their childhood photos to the organization for a national advertising campaign. Denzel was adorbs. [AP]
• Redmond O'Neal's drug sponsor is Ashley Hamilton. The guy who was married to Shannen Doherty. His mom is Alana Stewart, Farrah Fawcett's best friend. And Farrah is Redmond's mom. Got it? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• The Foo Fighters: On a long break. [Perez Hilton]
• Dita Von Teese claims she has never been an exhibitionist. "I wouldn't be caught dead baring my stomach," she says. "To me, baring my stomach during the day is just wrong. Remember that fashion for wearing super-low cut jeans? I tried a pair on once as a joke. It looked disgusting — I mean pornographic." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Justin Timberlake isn't working on an album because he has fashion and golf to think about. [USA Today]
• Despite earlier reports that he was gonna get blown up or something, an expert says there is no credible terror threat against Paul McCartney regarding his upcoming gig in Israel. Shalom! [UPI]
• Keira Knightley to star in a modern love story and not a period piece! [Variety]
• "They're a bunch of pasty white, completely non-rock and roll, Christian… I can't stand that shit! I don't even know what they sound like." — Courtney Love on The Jonas Brothers. [MSNBC]
• "Everything that has happened to me, good and bad, I feel has happened for a reason. I've been made stronger from the good stuff and much, much stronger from the bad stuff." — Anne Hathaway. [People]
• "All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off […] If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers." — Margaret Cho. [Perez Hilton]

• Britney showed up at the MTV awards. And talked. And somehow won a few. Then Russell Brand made jokes about promise rings and George Bush. [E!]
• Jordin Sparks defended purity rings and some people in the crowd cheered. MTV used to be edgy and subversive, right? [People]
• Schlocky tabloid paper News Of The World is reporting that Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby and raise the kid with Sam Ronson. LL apparently wants one of her ex-boyfriends to be the baby daddy. [News.com.au]
• No money for old men? Tommy Lee Jones is suing Paramount Pictures, claiming he was promised "significant box-office bonuses" from No Country for Old Men, which made more than $160 million. [USA Today]

• Cancer survivors Christina Applegate, Patrick Swayze, Sheryl Crowe and Lance Armstrong were part of the one-hour Stand Up To Cancer special on TV Friday night. [Reuters]
• "It’s hard to talk about work without talking about things that are personal. Work is personal. I don’t want to talk about my personal life, but it’s on my mind, and it’s in my work." — Michelle Williams, in a rare interview. She also says: "I’m going to take a year off. I think I stopped feeling creative a while ago, and I’m just realizing it now." And: "I’ve always identified with loners and outcasts, I don’t know why. I guess this is why I found a home in independent film. I wanted to work outside the system, which is why all this fame is a real brain teaser. What am I supposed to do with it? Can you work the system without it working you?" [NY Times]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour hit Rome and Her Madgesty said: "I dedicate this song to the pope, because I'm a child of God. All of you are also children of God." Then she sang "Like A Virgin." [Reuters]
• Ellen talks about her wedding! Newsweek asks, "What's the difference between a gay wedding and a straight one?" Ellen says: "Well, the food is gay. The water is gay. There's a gay vibe." And: "I cried when I saw her, because we didn't want to see our outfits beforehand. Actually, I could cry right now thinking about it. I never thought I would have that experience of getting married. I didn't think I was missing anything. I just didn't think about it. But to see her for the first time and to cut a wedding cake, that was surreal for me and I got to experience that with our families around us. I didn't realize how special it was until I did it." [Newsweek]
• Beyoncé: Seen wearing a gigantic, 18 carat flawless diamond valued at more than $5 million dollars. It's apparently a wedding ring from her "secret" marriage to Jay-Z. But yeah, it's huge, look at the picture. [People]
• Gary Coleman hit a man with his truck outside a Utah bowling alley. Was the guy harassing Gary and his wife? Or was Gary drunk? More info to come! [E!]
• David Beckham is well-endowed. In the pants. [The Sun]
• People are loving Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, including that infamous nude scene. [People]
• This Angelina Jolie doll, created by artist Noel Cruz, looks so much like Angie it's scary. Someone paid £2,000 for it on eBay and has the option of having tattoos added for an additional fee. Brad Pitt not included. [The Sun]
• Poor Brad never gets any sleep, but his kids make him laugh. [People]
• Is Pamela Anderson secretly seeing a member of the Royal Family of Dubai? [Global Voices]
• Remember Sam Lufti? Apparently in Lynne Spears' new book, she writes that he threatened Britney's life. Sam allegedly said to Lynne: "If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll (expletive) on her grave." [UPI]
• Chris Brown has written a couple of songs for Britney. Whether she'll sing them is another story. [AP]
• The Florida Federation of Republican Women says they are boycotting Oprah's show and magazine because she's not having Sarah Palin as a guest on her program. Should Oprah feel like she has to give equal time? She's an Obama supporter and says: "At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a (platform) for any of the candidates." [UPI]
• In 1998, Tom Cruise's wife was in a Broadway play. It's 2008 and Tom Cruise's wife is in a Broadway play! But Katie Holmes' part is not like Nicole Kidman's was. For starters, Katie isn't naked. [NY Times]
• Get your motors running: Prince William and Prince Harry will go on a motorcycle ride through Africa to raise money for orphans and AIDS victims. The 1,000 mile ride across South Africa and Lesotho is almost entirely off-road and the temperature will be around 104°. Hardcore! [Telegraph]
• Are Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson expecting twins? [Yahoo News]
• Amy Winehouse performed on the Isle of Wight on Saturday and her show was "patchy," with some fans walking away before it was over. Maybe she needs a long vacation? [The Sun]
• Noel Gallagher was tackled to the ground by a fan on stage in Canada, and yes, there is video. [BBC News]
• Brooke Shields is mildly funny in the commercial for the new VW minivan. [USA Today]
• Posh dining? Victoria Beckham and TV chef Gordon Ramsay are opening a traditional English restaurant in L.A. [Mirror]
• Headline of the day: "'Heather Mills Is A Bitch Who Tricked Me Into Spreading Lies About Paul McCartney,' Claims Her Ex-Hollywood PR." [Daily Mail]
• Also: Seems like Heather Mills promised a bunch of cash to the Adopt-A-Minefield charity — which helps clear mines from former war zones — and hasn't delivered. [The Sun]
• Emma Watson has bought a £1 million ski chalet in France. Now that she is 18, she can spend that Harry Potter and Chanel money! [The Sun]
• Jennifer Aniston says working on 30 Rock was "awesome — really, really fun." [ET]
• Coco Sumner, daughter of Sting and Trudie Styler, showed up at a movie premiere with her hair half shaved and part of an eyebrow missing. "Me and my mates were really stoned and thought it would be fun to shave our heads," she says. "My mum flipped when she saw me." [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson debuted at the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday night. One viewer said: "I think she should have put some clothes on." There's video if you want to see her boobalicious outfit. [People]
• There's lots of Spider-Man 4 buzz, but Tobey Maguire is not a lock. Yet. [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen's friend who was kidnapped was rescued just minutes before he was going to be executed. [Mirror]
• Thandie Newton prepared to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie W by reading as much as she could. "I had two things going on: reading about this young woman, and the incredible story of the Bush administration. This gigantic beast, this machine and how it was cranking toward war. I wanted to become drunk with knowledge." [Times Of London]
• Kirsten Dunst may play the late singer Eva Cassidy in a movie by Robert Redford's daughter Amy. [The Sun]
• Singer Estelle thinks it's okay that Kanye West is a little egotistical. "I think more people should follow him, and be more cocky and more proud of their work." Kanye probably replied: YES!!!!!!!!! [E!]
• Sadie Frost and her friends drank £50k of champagne in one evening. How much Advil did they need the next day? [Mirror]
• The buzz, heh, on The Secret Life Of Bees, starring Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Sophie Okonedo and Jennifer Hudson, is "very, very good." Roger Friedman says: "It’s a beautifully balanced, extremely nuanced drama that never gets overly sentimental." [Fox 411]
• Even though Joe Francis has a tax-dodging trial pending, a federal judge says he's allowed to be on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice. But! He won't be on Celebrity Apprentice because he's doing some other Donald Trump project instead. [E!]
• Janet Jackson got emotional while picking up a BMI Urban Award with her brothers (but not Michael) on Thursday night. [People]
• Shelley Malil, who played a dude named Haziz in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, was charged Friday with burglary and assault with a deadly weapon. He's been in jail since August 11 on attempted murder charges for stabbing his ex-girlfriend with two knives (while chasing her around her home as her two kids slept). [CNN]
• Spike Lee is working on a sequel to the Clive Owen/Denzel Washington crime drama Inside Man. [UPI]
• Tiger Woods has this estate in Florida and the average water usage is 10,000 gallons a month. He's almost in the top 25 water guzzlers in Orange County, Florida. But doesn't he like, travel a lot? Where is all the water going? Hopefully not sprinklers for grassy putting greens. [TMZ]
• Olivia Newton-John celebrated her third wedding anniversary with a third wedding ceremony. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Mickey Rourke is in a low-budget picture called The Wrestler and he won the coveted Golden Lion award for best movie at the Venice Film Festival on Saturday. [Reuters]
• RIP silent film star Anita Page, who worked with Buster Keaton, Lon Chaney and Joan Crawford. [BBC News]
• "When my wife's working and I've got time off, I'm just Mr. Mom during the day, taking care of the little girl." — Keith Urban. [UPI]
• "My apologies to the cast and crews of My Name Is Earl and Scrubs. In my frustration with NBC's reprehensible promotion of 30 Rock, I took an unfortunate swipe at both of those shows and that was not cool. But, for Earl's creator, Greg Garcia, who referred to me as a 'psychotic,' I have only one question. Why are you Scientologists always rendering these medical opinions you aren't qualified to give?" — Alec Baldwin. [Perez Hilton]
• "I fly economy. I do often fly first class, but I don't travel with a posse, or bodyguard, or an assistant. I use other people's infrastructure. For instance, I am going to address the AARP convention in Washington, D.C. I will fly first class to New York on AARP's dime, get into a town car, stay not in a grand suite, but a nice hotel room. I don't pretend to be poor, but somewhere in the middle is O.K." — Gene Simmons. [BusinessWeek]
• "I could never be as successful as the Spice Girls – there were five of us in that group, and alone you can only do so much. But it’s nice to be able to have a go. I’ll have a new album out by January. I don’t get nervous about how it will do or feel pressure to have massive success. I believe in what I do and if people like it, great, and if they don’t then, whatever. The highlight of my career was the girls coming back together and deciding to do a goodbye tour… My jaw was aching for weeks when we first got back on stage, I couldn’t stop smiling." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. [Mirror]
• "I'm single and crush-less… Like Hugh Hefner in his blonde phase, I’m in my European passport-holding era; American men need not apply." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]

The look on Victoria Recano's face during the interview was priceless.

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to wed? Finally? Now that she is preggo with twins? OMG! [MSNBC]
  
• Did Britney get married when she went to Mexico last month? Maybe! Of course, her man, Adnan Ghalib, is already married. But! Wedding documents exist! Says a source. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Meanwhile, Britney seems to have made up with her mom; they went shopping yesterday. [People]
  
• The lyrics of a Spamalot song have been changed from referencing Britney Spears to name-dropping Posh Spice, because, says Eric Idle, "We don't laugh at sad people." [AP]
  
• Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin is pissed Beyoncé called Tina Turner "The Queen." Whoops. [People]

• Paris Hilton celebrated her 27th birthday by doing shot after shot of tequila. Related: Sky is blue. [Page Six]
• The Insider's Pat O'Brien is in rehab again, but does he have a special security detail? [Page Six]
• Spotted: Leighton Meester, aka Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl, hanging with pot smokers. [Page Six]
• Janet Jackson, 41, feels like she should have a baby: "I get so much pressure from people I don't even know, and I think: 'My God, am I missing my moment?'" [Page Six]
• But, says Janet, "I might be allergic to marriage." [People]
• Gary Coleman: Secretly married a redhead, lost his virginity. Um, yeah. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recent mom is already bored with her new accessory? Despite pimping herself out to the celebrity mags as a loving parent, she is constantly finding reasons to leave the baby and 'escape.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton's little brother Barron was busted for DUI and guess who wouldn't bail him out? Paris apparently told him he needed to learn a lesson. [TMZ]
• Barron is out now, because his friends called a bail bondsman. [TMZ]
• And it looks like Barron doesn't have a valid driver's license, uh-oh. That's why his bail went from $5,000 to $20,000. [E!]
• Plus, before his arrest, Barron was driving the wrong way on the Pacific Coast Highway and also in wild circles, according to a witness. [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Jessica Sierra: No longer pregnant. No other details. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston spent her 39th birthday on the set of the flick she's shooting, but then had dinner and ice cream cake with the cast and crew. [People]
• Good Charlotte's Benji Madden and fiancée Sophie Monk: Dunzo. [People]
• Carla Bruni on her romance with French prez Nicolas Sarkozy: "They tell me that it all was too rapid... It was immediate. For us, it even seemed slow. Lovers, you know, have their own sense of time... I wished to marry him right away." [People]
• Actor Diego Luna is off the market! He married his girlfriend Camilla Sodi in Mexico City last week. Fortunately, he continues to be smoking hot. [ONTD]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was seen picking out a candy-covered Valentine's Day card that read "I can't (bear) to be without you" — there were gummy bears where "bear" was. [Mirror]
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson, 17, is dating Razorlight frontman and ex-junkie Johnny Borrell, 27. [ONTD]
• Tilda Swinton, 47, has a paramour named Sandro Kopp, 29. He met Swinton when he played a centaur in the Chronicles Of Narnia film. But Swinton also has a long-term partner, John Byrne, 67. Apparently they all live together with Swinton's ten-year-old twins, though no one dishes about the sleeping arrangements. [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson says she'll never go to paparazzi-plagued L.A. hotspot The Ivy: "I don't care how good the Cobb salad is. These tabloid magazines — I think they're hideous and the downfall of society." [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Scarlett's CD will be released on May 20. Tom Waits approved the covers she did of his songs, and David Bowie sings on a couple of tracks. [Reuters]
• Shakira donated a bejeweled bra for a charity auction, and a fan paid $3,000 for it. The money goes to Shaki's Bare Feet Foundation, which is constructing a school for impoverished kids in Colombia. [LA Times]
• Josh Kelley says being married to Katherine Heigl is "unbelievable." [People]