Reader: piratabeata "This is me (piratabeata) and my best friend from high school circa 2003. My sister gave me those pleather pants from Hot Topic when I turned sixteen, and you better believe they were a staple of my early aughts wardrobe, along with the cat collar choker. I wore them so much they cracked. You also probably never saw me without pigtails for the better part of 2000-2004. I kind of wish this was a full length picture so you could see the ridiculous Spice Girl-esque platform shoes that I was rocking, too. I like how my best friend was trying so hard to look like a Catholic schoolgirl. We knew we were awesome."


Reader: cinematheques "Halloween, 2007. Halloween is always a good time to find something terrible (and in this case, classic as well) at a thrift store and build a costume around it. I just put flour and a stream of lipstick under my nose, coupled with some pretty gross fishnets with holes and VOILA ! I am an 80s coke queen. Also, I really, really, really don't condone fake eyelashes. Ouchies. I pretty much look the same, but back to my natural hair color."


Reader: maneki neko "Photo from the fall of 2003. The early 00s fashions could not have possibly been more ill-suited to my body, or anyone's, really. Remember how all the shirts were realllllllllly short, and all the pants were reallllllllllllly low cut? I sure do. For someone with a long torso like me, this was an unbelievably cruel fate, and I ended up looking pretty silly until tunics finally came into fashion. I remember thinking this top was really cute, probably because of the bell sleeves (remember those?), even though looking at this photo now you can see that I'm one sholder movement away from exposing my naval. And I'm pretty sure those are Mudd jeans, flared, naturally. I have absolutely no explanation for my hair, but I can't stop laughing."


Reader: Catie "This is a picture of my sister, Allie, and I from 2004. We are rocking the newsboy cap trend a la Britney. I am wearing a polo shirt and for some reason my sister has long fake orange nails. The pose was meant to be silly. I pretty much laugh every time I see this picture lol The title of it is particularly 00's…it's named after that segment called Sucker Free Sunday that aired on MTV2."


Reader: Raina "My friend and I (I'm on the right) at our Senior Prom... nice hair knots!!"


Reader: Raina "My mom would often snap photos of us on our way out the door on our way to school. This whole outfit kills me, and if you look really close, you can see tiny plastic butterfly clips in my hair!"


Reader: Kate "Me and my best friend at a high school semi-formal dance in 2002. I am the blonde... i.e. the one who thought it was appropriate to wear a faux-suede mini-skirt, matching hat, and hooker boots to a semi-formal. It's all so mortifying."


Reader: Avery "This picture, taken in '05, chronicles me in the height of my new york hipsterdom - I'm wearing pink neon zebra print tights, a neon blue top (that is sparkly?) and huge plastic earrings. The worst part about this is my "I'm hot shit" expression when I am so clearly not."


Reader: Adriana "Me in my college art studio, 2001. please note the janeane garofalo bangs, "ironic" backstreet boys shirt, metallic grey raver skirt and chunky black shoes with white stars on the toes. i think this entire outfit was from Hot Topic."


Reader: Bianca "I was my Law Student then-boyfriend's date for the Barrister's Ball in 2005, and BF's BFF's then-GF showed up wearing the exact same tacky 80's throwback dress as me. It was totally "US Magazine Who Wore It Best." I think I did (I'm the blonde), but I'm clearly biased here."


Reader: Lauren "This was taken in the spring of 2001, in my high school sophomore history class. The jean jacket and the (probably shoplifted) lip gloss and the eye glitter are classic (and you can't even see all the glitter, my eyelids are coated with chunky silver Pixie Dust) but my favorite part of this picture is obviously the nameplate Sagittarius necklace, which i bought from (where else?) Delia*s."


Reader: lenamonster "I'm pretty sure this was taken in 2003 (aka the end of my high school years - I was very fashion-y adventurous then). I'm wearing a bright yellow fake sports-style shirt (with see-through holes so you have to wear another shirt under it), tons of my cheap jelly/plastic bracelets, a necklace that I strung myself, big yellow sunglasses, and a plaid beret."


Reader: JadeJag There was no description with this photo, but I think it sums up many of the trends of the era , don't you?


Reader: A Jolly " Hi there. I'm mostly just a lurker on Jezebel, but I thought I'd send in a submission anyway. On this day in 2001, the gods frowned upon me. A trucker hat that sais "SICK" on it, knee-high socks, "candy" bracelet, bleach blonde and pink pigtails, awkwardly fitting mans shorts...Disaster. I was dj-ing at a party in a park, where I got really drunk and did a lot of beatwrecking. An embarassing day all around. :( Enjoy."


Reader: Michaela "The first group picture was taken in 2002, at a 15th birthday party (held at an all-you-can-eat buffet). Stripey turtle-necks, jean jackets and converse sneakers were pretty hot in my group."


Reader: Michaela "The 2nd is from 2007...and yes, it was my MySpace profile pic for a long time. Emo-chic 4 lyfe, yo."


Reader: Jess "I'm pretty sure almost every teenage girl had a photo like this in the early 2000s. This photo was taken some time between 2002 and 2003. I really wanted to be "punk" in those days, so I saved up and bought myself a "Squire" electric and taught myself one song. I soon realized I looked absolutely stupid and didn't like electric guitar. Come to think of it, I was also obsessed with really ill-fitting fleece sweaters in those days. Wish I had a photo of that! Oh, I totally forgot to mention that my concept of "punk" at the time was (clearly) drawn entirely from Avril Lavigne. Everyone pretended they didn't want to be her and secretly spent every night listening to "complicated" on repeat. [Ed. This is totally true, you guys.]


Reader: Sarah "Year Taken: 2000 Description: My friend Jeanette (left) and me rocking one of the trends: the Asian character tee. We both wore the same type of shirt completely coincidentally; this shows how pervasive this particular trend was. I should point out that another friend's Chinese parents were pretty amused by all these shirts. Do we know what the hell they say? No. But it 'looks cool.'"


Reader: Gweedle "This was when I was 16 I believe, so around 2002-2003. My neon blue Le Tigre shirt, furry leopard print skirt, vintage pink jacket, paisley knee high stockings with maryjanes - one of many outfits where I tried to mesh a million styles together and failed miserably but thought I looked really cool."


Reader: Penny_Esq "Okay, so this was my 19th birthday, August 2000. This photo features chunky shoes, some kind of Eastern-religion-themed tee shirt, fake Chloe aviators, and an "edgy" twisty updo. As a bonus, my friend on the left is wearing a pink velour leopard print tank top and a feather boa. Also note that all three of us are sporting pleather pants, although that would be the one and only time I wore mine. We went to an underage club to dance, and as I commenced dropping it like it was hot, those pants split from zipper to ass crack AND down the insides of the legs, leaving my lady bits flapping in the breeze for all to admire. I had to shuffle out of the club sandwiched front-to-back between my two friends and still at least three guys tried to tip me. I never returned to that club, and I have never, EVER tried to drop it like it's hot again."

You may not know this, but Santa Claus is quite the procrastinator. Sometimes, he waits until four or five days before Christmas to gather up naughty and nice information. It takes him from the highest mountains to the bottom of the sea, but eventually he gets it done. However, there are several stops along the way.


First, he checks the trains to ensure that they'll deliver all the toys on time. The Polar Express doesn't just run on magic and delicious hot chocolate, you know!


Next, he has to pick up the dry cleaning, as he can't been seen on Christmas Eve in anything but his best suit, freshly pressed.


Of course, he also needs to fuel up. It's a recession, man. Even Santa can't pass up a 5 dollar footlong sandwich.


And I suppose we can't blame the man for wanting to check out a few toys for himself, for a change.


Santa is also incredibly popular in the sea, and visits the sea animals a few days before Christmas to deliver their gifts.


The fish are pretty excited, as you can see.


He even gives gifts to the sharks!


And Baby Beluga has clearly made the "nice" list this year.


Penguins are also big Santa fans.


Most likely because he protests against global warming.


In the end, however, he's all about business.


After all, there's work to do!

[All Images Via Getty.]

Non-Spoilery Factoid #1: It's Beautiful The plot may be somewhat predictable and the story problematic in several ways, but all of the hype you've heard about the technical brilliance of the film is true: it's an absolutely gorgeous movie, and I've never seen anything quite like it.


Non-Spoilery Factoid #2: "I Hate Manure!" The main villain of the film (this becomes clear quite early and is even somewhat showcased in the trailer, so I don't consider it a spoiler) is eerily reminiscent of Biff Tannen from Back to the Future and the Dip guy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He's insane and overblown and unintentionally hilarious at times, if only because he's so evil and insane that you expect him to start yelling "What's wrong, McFly? Chicken?" before flying away on his pitbull hoverboard.


Non-Spoilery Factoid #3: Someone You Know Will Fall In Love With Sam Worthington: He's brooding and intense and very easy on the eyes. Whether or not this film will propel him to Team Jacob/Team Edward national Tiger Beat heartthrob status remains to be seen, but I can guarantee that at least one person you know will have a crush on this dude as soon as they see the film. Maybe even an editor of a blog you read!


Non-Spoilery Factoid #4: Monsters Galore: If you're scared of creepy creatures, you might want to steer clear. There are plenty of amazing and horrifying beasts running around in the forests of Pandora. It's a bit like taking a trip to Jurassic Park, only this time you don't get the Jello-shaking warning before something attacks.


Non-Spoilery Factoid #5: It's Worth Seeing In The Theater: I was very skeptical going into the film (and I still have my issues with it, but we'll talk about that when everyone has seen it) and had a hard time mustering up any excitement. To me, it just looked like FernGully: To The Extreme!!! and I was prepared to be bored about 20 minutes in. However, once the film started, I was instantly hooked. For all its flaws (and there are many), it's truly a beautiful and awe-inspiring cinematic experience. I went into the film wary and sick of all the hype, but I left a believer, at least in terms of the technical aspects of the movie. It's not a perfect film, but it's an important one, and definitely worth a viewing.

Earlier: Is Avatar's James Cameron A Feminist Ally?

Let's start with the actual trailer. It's filled with "sassy" moments and is backed by The Black Eyed Peas' "I Got A Feeling." Yes, really. I know. I know! Let's break this madness down, bit by bit, and sans Fergie, shall we?


We start with a shot of the city. You'll notice that there are a few shots of water fountains spurting into the sky. Very subtle imagery and such.


We are then introduced to the all-star cast, which is the selling point for this seemingly paint-by-numbers film. It's reminiscent of the trailer for He's Just Not That Into You, another star-studded romcom turd.


More stars!


In a very Love, Actually sort of way, the film revolves around the Valentine's Day adventures (or lack thereof) of several people. And the movie doesn't take Valentine's Day lightly—it looks as though there's more pink and red in the sets and wardrobe of this film than there is in Mariah Carey's Hello Kitty-themed bathroom.


Here, we see that Topher Grace totally forgot about Valentine's Day, much to his chagrin. This expression is actually the expression I had on my face during the entire time I was watching the trailer, by the way.


And here, we see that Jamie Foxx is not that into comforting a sobbing Jessica Biel.


In Irin's thread yesterday, a commenter mentioned that she was also tired of the "Sassy Grandma" cliche, wherein an older woman is brought in to "shock" the audience by talking about sex. Older women can't talk about sex! That's crazy! Everyone knows that sex talk is strictly reserved for college sophomores.


There's a marching band scene in the film, as well, which seems specifically set up just to include a cameo by...


Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. Hey! Young people! This is a film for you, too! And you, too, 45-year-old women with crushes on a 17-year-old werewolf! Come on down!


Alas, millions of Team Jacob-related Valentine's dreams will also be shattered for several members of the audience when Taylor and Taylor make out on screen.


Innuendo fountain alert!


"Are you a mother? This film is also for you!"


"Hi, I'm Jessica Alba. I'll be playing the sweetheart who can't wait to get married. I'm biting my lip because that shows how cute and innocent I am."


"Hi, I'm Kathy Bates. I've been brought in to provide some kooky wisdom to the young people in love."


"My name is Jessica Biel, and I'm the emotional basketcase of the film! LOVE IS HARD, Y'ALL!"


"I'm pretty sure I'm going to realize that this woman I've known for 20 years is actually the love of my life."


"Love is for suckers. I just want to fuck somebody, man. I'll probably temporarily ruin a relationship or throw a wrench in some sucker's Valentine's Day plans."


"I'll be playing the smug douchebag who gets his comeuppance and learns a lesson about love."


"I'm older and very patient, because I've lived enough to really understand love. I plan on sharing my wisdom with the kids while gently shaking my head at their mistakes."


"I just really hope I get a chance to show that I'm a musician in this film."


"And I do! Dreams really do come true!"


"I've played this role at least twice already, but I'm super likable and nobody seems to care."


"I'm still not sure what the hell is going on here, but I think I'll figure it out by the time the movie ends. That's called 'emotional growth.'"


"I am wise in the ways of love, and I'm just waiting for my dumbass boyfriend, Topher Grace, to catch up."


"I usually sell cameras, but this time, I'm selling flowers!"


"I am a woman of color in a romantic comedy. By default, that makes me the sassy best friend."


"I am a teenager with a cell phone! I will be the source of many sexting jokes!"


"I'm Julia Roberts, and this is a romantic comedy. Even if things don't go my way, they'll still go my way."


"And don't forget about us! It's just a cameo, but we've been shown at least four times already in this trailer. Demographic appeal, ahoy!"


"This film will be followed by a very special episode of Cake Boss."


"Ain't love grand!? Double high-five that nobody ever gives in real life, girlfriends!"

So which cliches does the movie hit upon? I'd say everything from My Best Friend's Wedding (Stretched Over Another Decade) to Male Lead, Stammering Charm, with a dose of Sassy Grandma, Precocious Kids, Wisdom From The Elders, and Gratuitous Dance Scene thrown in for good measure. Welcome to the next decade of romantic comedies: the more things change, the more things stay the same.

Earlier: Most Overused Romantic Comedy Cliches Of The Decade

Richard Hatch, 2000: Survivor was the network show that kicked off the reality craze, and Richard Hatch was both its first victor and first villain. Hatch was unlikeable, rude, and "not here to make friends," which made him an excellent prototype for the reality villains of the era. Hatch's life away from the show, including a conviction for tax evasion in 2006, also lent itself to the tabloids, creating a crossover of sorts for "ordinary people" from reality shows to have their dirty laundry aired just like the celebrities would, a trend that has only gotten stronger and more insane as the years have gone on.


O-Town, 2001: A manufactured pop group thrown together during the first season of MTV's Making The Band O-Town represented a growing trend in reality programming; the ability to make dreams come true through a recording contract (see also: Popstars, The X Factor, American Idol, Making The Band 2, 3, and 4). They had a hit with the now hilariously dated "Liquid Dreams" and faded away soon after. Band member Ashley Parker Angel later got his own "road back to stardom" type show on MTV, with similar results.


Howard K. Stern, 2002: One of many "celebreality" shows of the decade, the Anna Nicole Show was an attempt by Anna Nicole Smith to regain a bit of fame after her career dropped off in the late 90s. The show was an absolute trainwreck, and it was clear things would not end well. Stern, who was Smith's lawyer, always seemed to be lurking in the background, making decisions for the often-incoherent starlet and attempting to explain her erratic behavior. Smith died of a drug overdose in 2007, and Stern is currently on trial facing charges that he provided the drugs that led to her death.


Evan Marriott, 2003: The star of the wildly popular Joe Millionaire, Marriott played the role of a super rich guy looking for love, though the audience was well aware that Joe was anything but a millionaire. At the end of the show, the lucky winner had to figure out whether she really loved Joe or just his imaginary bank account. Did she stay for love? I honestly don't remember, but it doesn't matter now, as Marriott and Joe Millionaire are just a distant memory.


Laguna Beach, 2004-2006: The show that launched a thousand mascara tears, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County premiered in 2004 and introduced us to the likes of Lauren Conrad and Kristen Cavallari, who went on to to star in a second MTV reality show, The Hills. As for the rest of the cast, I'm sure they're all doing well and cringing every time they hear their Hilary Duff penned theme song on the radio.


Flavor Of Love, 2006-2008: Vh1, tired of being the channel best known for playing videos your mom likes and handing out tidbits of pop information via bubbles placed in videos, decided to spent the better part of the decade dealing in the love lives washed-up celebrities. Flavor Flav had three seasons of Flavor of Love on the network, but it was the contestants, including Tiffany "New York" Pollard, who stole the show. Soon enough, Pollard was considered celebrity enough to receive her own dating "celebreality" show, I Love New York. VH1 has since become a hotbed of sorts of reality dating show "stars," giving them multiple opportunities to extend their 15 minutes via an endless array of spinoff shows.


Sanjaya Malakar, 2007: A contestant during the sixth season of American Idol Sanjaya's inexplicable longevity on the show became a gift for some and a curse for others. The split between Sanjaya's supporters and detractors only served to make him a bigger star...until the next season started. If there's any show where careers are made and destroyed as quickly as possible, it's American Idol. By the time the next group of wannabes comes around, the majority of "stars" from the past seasons are instantly forgotten.


The Kardashians, 2008 It's pretty much impossible to walk past a supermarket checkout without seeing one of the Kardashians on the cover of a tabloid mag. The family has been documenting their lives on screen since late 2007, and though Kim was the breakout star, sisters Khloe and Kourtney got their own show in 2009 and have since become her rivals for coverage with stories of their weddings and pregnancies and various other important life things. The Kardashians, like the Osbournes and Hogans before them, found a place in the county's weird obsession with watching famous families go through relatively scripted ordeals.


Jon Gosselin, 2009: And speaking of family television, here's Jon Gosselin. Ugh, I can barely write another word about Jon Gosselin. You know who he is, right? He's a father of eight who wears bejeweled tigers on the back of his jeans. Gosselin started out as one of the stars of a "nice" reality show, the type of "educational" programming based around big families, little people, and neighbors who swap houses for a fun day of remodeling. Yet by the time his show was over, he'd hit every "naughty" reality show cliche in the book, proving that it's not that hard to move from "beloved" reality star to "international jackass" when your life falls apart on camera.


Jersey Shore, 2010: Get used to these faces. After a decade of villains, heroes, messed up families, hair-pulling fights, rock stars dating on buses, people taking shits on carpets, "bad girls" screaming at each other, pop stars rising and falling, top models being born, and Idols being worshipped, this is the new face of reality television. Welcome to 2010. It's going to be a Bumpit ride.

Sure, there are there common pitfalls to avoid: awkward gift situations, drunk co-workers at the holiday party, and so on, but nobody seems to want to face the true challenges of the holiday season, which is why I've whipped up this handy dandy guide for you.


Holiday Disaster #1: Wild Animals Eat Your Gifts : Every so often, a lion escapes from the zoo with one mission: to destroy Christmas. Sure, the lion is usually caught by Santa Claus and taught a valuable lesson about love and sharing and the holiday spirit, but the threat remains the same: there are lions out there who want to eat your honey glazed ham and rip your crocheted scarf to shreds. It's typically no use arguing with the lions, because, well, they're lions, but if they happen to make it to your home this holiday, try scaring them off by offering to read Glenn Beck's The Christmas Sweater from start to finish. That's usually enough to send them running.


Holiday Disaster #2: He Didn't Go To Jared: STAY CALM, JEWELRY RECIPIENT. It's not your fault that your significant other has unleashed an Earth-destroying asteroid from space simply by purchasing your "Love's Embrace Always" pendant from another chain jewelry store. The world is ending, but you can still try to salvage the holiday, right? Tell your cousin Chrissie to stop screaming "He didn't go to Jared?! Why!?!" in the corner of the room and give her a fun holiday task to do instead, like decorating the cookies or digging the underground trench you'll need to hide in when the apocalypse hits. Sooner or later, everyone will be so busy preparing for the end times that they'll forget all about your sweetheart's inability to shop at the correct galleria. It's over. Be still. Soon, it won't matter where you get your jewelry, as long as your alien overlords approve.


Holiday Disaster #3: You Accidentally Buy Your Child A Possessed Doll:: It's important to remember that it could happen to anyone. How could you have known that the Happy Henrietta doll you bought little Suzie would come to life, wrangle up a possessed doll army, and threaten to take over the world? Sure, it was weird when you shook the box at Target and Happy Henrietta said, "Kill, killllllll!" instead of "I like to drink cocoa!" like the other dolls did, but you figured you'd be able to erase the creepy recording after getting some mileage out of it with your friends. In fact, you thought you actually had erased the recording, until Christmas morning, when Henrietta pushed her way out of the gift wrap you'd placed her in and started yelling orders to various inanimate objects in your house. But now you're stuck in a candy cane prison guarded by anthropomorphic Pop-Tarts with bad attitudes. Still: great holiday story for next year's party, right?


Holiday Disaster #4: Mrs. Claus Gets A Little Tipsy At Your Holiday Party: You invited her to be polite. It's rude to just ask her husband to come down for the community pancake dinner, right? And even though she was a total bitch to you in high school, you figured you'd just invite her out of common courtesy and to make the children happy. Turns out she had one too many cups of cheer and can't stop yelling "Those friggin' elves!" wherever she goes. She is scaring the children. The reindeer are peeing all over the gingerbread Eiffel Tower you built. Santa is sulking in the corner, drinking whiskey and muttering, "Holiday cheer my ass." Things are not going your way. The only way to get out of this one is to hop in the sleigh yourself and get the hell out of there, yelling, "You can have your livelihood back when you learn to behave yourselves!" That way, you get to scold the Clauses and teach the children an important lesson about not being an asshole on the job.


Holiday Disaster #5: Inappropriate Snowman: You thought you were building a jolly good friend to watch over your lawn all winter. Turns out you built a jackass who likes to yell things like, "Hey! I'd like have a snowball fight with you, if you know what I mean," every time you walk out your front door. And he's always drunk! He smells like freezer burn, Axe, and sadness. He also sold your car to a neighborhood hooligan for 50 cents and a box of corncob pipes. What a creep! You have two options here: Care Bear Stare or calling in the Heatmiser. Of course, you could always knock him down and build a better snowman, but that's not nearly as exciting.

So there you have it. I'm sorry to be the one to inform you of such awful holiday nightmares, but I thought it would be best if you were prepared. Now get out there and have a safe and happy holiday! Or at least try to. After all, we're all screwed if he doesn't go to Jared.

1. Jennifer Aniston/2. Brad Pitt, Y2K: When this picture was taken in February of 2000, Pitt and Aniston had been dating for roughly two years. Just a few months later, the two were married, a union that lasted until 2005, when the couple split and Pitt moved on to Angelina Jolie. The story was a tabloid dream come true, with lurid tales of Pitt, Jolie, and Aniston creating a soap opera storyline that's still being played out, nearly 5 years later: just this week, Star Magazine ran a cover declaring that Jennifer Aniston was finally ready for baby..."with Brad's help!"


3. Angelina Jolie, Y2K: But the Brangelina storm hadn't swept through Jolie's life in 2000; at that point, she was married to Billy Bob Thornton, and delighting/horrifying the press with tales of their torrid love affair. Jolie claimed that she wore a vial of Thornton's blood around her neck, and the two weren't shy about discussing their sex life on the red carpet. By 2002, Jolie had adopted her first child, Maddox, and by 2003, Thornton and Jolie had divorced.


Jennifer Aniston, 2009: Aniston has spent the better part of the decade living in the tabloids; after Friends went off the air in 2004, she segued into a movie career, though the public seemed more interested in the scandal surrounding her divorce from Pitt. She has been painted as "lonely" and "desperate" by many a tabloid magazine, even though she's dated several famous men, including John Mayer and Vince Vaughn. Though the Brangelaniston blitz shows no signs of slowing, Aniston continues to make films and most likely hopes that the world moves past her 5-year-old divorce as we enter a new decade.


Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, 2009: Jolie and Pitt, arguably the world's most famous couple, have gone on to have three biological children together; Pitt has also adopted Jolie's adopted children, and all of their children share the surname "Jolie-Pitt." The couple have devoted much of their energy to charity work through their Jolie/Pitt Foundation. and, like Aniston, I assume, to trying to break out of the Brangelina media blitz. Jolie, who 10 years ago spent time discussing the vials of blood around her neck, has since become a UN Goodwill Ambassador and is well-known for her humanitarian efforts.


4. Britney Spears, Y2K: Britney was on top of the world in 2000, riding the success of her second album, Oops...I Did It Again. In 2001, she performed her now-infamous "I'm A Slave 4U" dance at the MTV Video Music Awards, snake, see-thru bodysuit, and all, but things started to come off the rails in 2002, when her relationship with Justin Timberlake came to an end. Timberlake's solo career skyrocketed with songs about how Britney did him wrong, and Spears' career, and carefully marketed sexy virgin image, began to crumble.


In 2004, Spears married Kevin Federline (it was technically her first marriage, after an ill-advised 24 hour marriage to a childhood friend in Vegas). The marriage would produce two sons for Spears, Sean Preston and Jayden James, but it would also produce a number of disturbing problems.


By 2008, Spears and Federline had divorced, and Spears' erratic behavior had cost her custody of her two children. She spent most of her time in court or driving around Los Angeles, wearing wigs and stopping at gas stations and Starbucks shops. Spears' behavior become increasingly bizarre, with the pop star shaving her head on camera and giving a disastrous performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. After she was hospitalized twice for psychiatric reasons, her father, Jamie Spears, won the right to a conservatorship over his daughter. Spears' career and personal life were then intensely monitored and controlled by her father.


Britney Spears, 2009: By 2009, Spears' personal life and career appear to be back on track; she embarked on a world tour behind her successful record, Circus, has extended visitation rights with her children, and her conservatorship may end soon, leaving her in control of her own destiny for the first time in years. Hopefully, the next decade will be a little easier for Britney than the last one was.


5. Beyonce Knowles, Y2K: Beyonce, circa Y2K, was still with her group, Destiny's Child, figure skating across America, recording hits like "Independent Woman, Part 1" for the Charlie's Angels soundtrack. After several successful Destiny's Child singles like "Bootylicious," (which she co-wrote) Beyonce decided that we were, in fact, ready for this jelly, and decided to strike out on her own with her 2003 album, "Dangerously In Love." Destiny's Child split in 2005, and Knowles' solo career has been going strong ever since.


Beyonce Knowles, 2009: By 2009, Knowles had established a wildly successful solo career, introduced the world to her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, married long-time boyfriend Jay-Z in a private ceremony, and branched out into acting with roles in Dreamgirls and Cadillac Records. Her video for "Single Ladies" is perhaps one of the most memorable videos of 2009, if not the entire decade.


6. Tom Cruise & 7. Nicole Kidman, Y2K:Though it seems a bit hard to picture at this point, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman started the decade as a married couple; in 2001, they'd split after 11 years of marriage.


Nicole Kidman, 2009: Kidman's career skyrocketed after her divorce from Cruise; in 2003, she received the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. Kidman went on to marry country music star Keith Urban in 2006, and in 2008 the couple had a daughter together named Sunday Rose.


Tom Cruise, 2009: Tom Cruise's career hasn't fared as well as his ex-wife's this decade. His career tanked following an incredibly weird series of television appearance, such as a Today show appearance wherein he called Matt Lauer "glib" and accused him of not understanding the history of psychiatry like Cruise did, as well a now-infamous appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show during which Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch to declare his love for actress Katie Holmes, whom he married in 2006. The couple's marriage that year, as well as the birth of their daughter, Suri, has made them a tabloid favorite ever since, with Tom's association with Scientology often overshadowing both of their acting careers.


8. Whitney Houston, Y2K: Whitney started the decade with a Grammy Award for Best R&B Female Vocal Performance, but her career faltered as the decade went on. Accusations of drug use ("crack is wack") swirled around her marriage, which was documented for a depressing reality show called Being Bobby Brown, which showed a side of Houston the public had never seen before (and gave The Soup one of its favorite catchphrases). Houston divorced Brown in 2006, went to rehab for what she now admits was drug addiction, and began to get her career together.


Whitney Houston, 2009: In 2009, Houston returned with her album, I Look To You, discussed the difficulties of the past decade in a tell-all interview with Oprah and received a standing ovation at the American Music Awards following a performance of "I Didn't Know My Own Strength."


9. Lindsay Lohan, Y2K:, Lohan, shown here in 2001, began the decade under the Disney umbrella, starring in films like Freaky Friday and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Her breakthrough came with 2004's Mean Girls and the release of her first album, Speak, though troubles in her personal life soon seemed to follow, with the actress being accused of having everything from an eating disorder to self-harming issues to drug addiction.


Lindsay Lohan, 2009: It has not been a great second half of the decade for Lohan; her last few years in the press have been dominated family troubles, her on again-off again relationship with Samantha Ronson, rumors of violent and erratic behavior, and film duds like I Know Who Killed Me and the straight-to-television Labor Pains. Yet Hollywood loves a comeback story, so we'll have to see what the next decade has in store for Lilo.


10. Joaquin Phoenix, Y2K: Phoenix started the decade by scoring an Academy Award nomination for his performance in Gladiator; a second nomination would come in 2005 for his portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. In 2008, he shifted gears and began focusing on his rap career, which confused pretty much everyone.


Joaquin Phoenix, 2009: By 2009, Phoenix claimed he was retiring from acting to work on his rap career full-time. He discussed his plans during a now-infamous appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, appearing completely out-of-it and nearly unrecognizable behind shades and a grizzled beard. Phoenix claims his rap career is "not a joke," and his transformation from actor to rapper is being filmed for an upcoming documentary by his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck. Whether or not Phoenix's career change will be successful (or if it's all an elaborate hoax) is yet to be seen, but I suppose all will be revealed at some point during the next decade. After all, you never know what can happen in just 10 years.

In all honesty, the Miss France pageant looks exactly like the Miss USA pageant, which should come as no surprise, I guess, as both pageants fall under Donald Trump's Miss Universe banner, and with Donald Trump involved, countries all across the world step it up to produce a stage that looks like a cross between the AggroCrag from Guts and the set of Deal or No Deal.


Naturally, there is a swimsuit portion of the pageant, wherein women all wear the same suit and try to act like they always hit the beach in a pair of silver heels.


Apparently, it was quite the rage at the Miss France pageant this year to wear nautical caps and futuristic surgical gloves.


Elaborate and often cringe-worthy theme numbers are pretty standard at any pageant, and it looks like Casino Night was the theme this year.


I think someone actually wore this dress to my prom in 1998, during the height of the swing-revival era.


I don't really know what's going on here. I'm pretty sure that's Grace Kelly, though it looks like someone else's face has been superimposed over hers. Whomever it is, she does not seem very amused with her position as Big Brother for Miss France 2k10.


It is absolutely necessary for a pageant to have a musical guest that sings sassy songs your mom can enjoy, a la Tom Jones. As you can see, Robbie Williams stepped in to play the part here.


The woman on the left is Geneviève de Fontenay, the President of the Miss France committee. She had the best outfit of the evening. Marvelous!


This year's winner is Malika Ménard, Miss Normandy, a 22 year old woman who is currently studying law. This picture also includes Pageant cliche #983: the outgoing queen hands over the crown.


Pageant cliche #1567: The runner-up acts sooooo happy for the winner.


Pageant cliche #445: "I'm crying but I'm not really crying because it took like 3 hours to get my makeup right, but I'll act like I'm brushing invisible tears away just to let you all know how emotional this moment is for me."


And lastly, Pageant Cliche #1: the triumphant walk of victory. I suppose when it comes to beauty pageants, some things, if not most things, are universal.

In a world where people wake up at 4am to get a good deal on a television set...


...where human beings are willing to spend $25.00 on a crayon maker...


...and where people continue to "choose juicy..."


...we should have seen it coming.


"Mr. President, he says his name is Todd and that he's from the planet BroGo. He says he'll destroy Earth unless...we shop." Dun-dun-dun!!!!


There is no resistance...


"Jesus, Helen, what do we do?" "I don't know, Alan! All it says here is that there are doorbusters on Panasonic Lumix cameras!" "Oh. My. God."


"Just shut up, Brandon! If I have to buy an Imaginarium so that my grandkids can have an Earth to play on, then so be it, dammit!"


"Mr. President? I'm rounding up the Transformers as we speak. Let's blow this shirtless bastard back to outer space through the power of consumerism. God bless America."


"My god, Tiffany. They're selling Gremlins for $3.99! Don't you understand whats happening here?"
"Trevor, is it really the end of the world?" "No, Karen. Not as long as someone out there buys a plasma tv." "But who can afford that in this economy?" "Someone brave enough to get up at 4am to shop, Karen. They're our only hope."


Ready...


"Quick, Harris, put more shit in the cart! It's the only way!"


Set...


"Don't you understand?!? You have a choice, Madison: buy this scarf, or be eaten by the giant plaid-clad girl in the window."
Shop. (Dun-dun-dun!!!!)


Black Friday: Shop Or Be Dropped This Thanksgiving.

Look, crew, it doesn't matter if you've read the books or seen the movies or not. We're now living in a Twilight world, controlled by Twilight girls. The army has amassed! They have pocket money and they aren't afraid to spend it! Sparkly vampires beat Batman at the box office, you guys. Edward Cullen and his stupid Volvo have defeated the Batmobile. This is serious biz, everybody. If Batman can't even beat the sparkle brigade, who can? YOU CAN, friends, if you follow these simple directions.


Pick A Team: You're either Team Edward (sparkly Volvo-driving vampire) or Team Jacob (that's the 17-year-old werewolf who never wears a shirt). If a Twihard approaches you in the street and asks you which team you're on, you MUST choose one of these options. Just pick one! It doesn't matter! Lie about it! Don't try to be clever and say something like, "I'm Team Bella, because I like to support other women," because that will get you sent to Twilight detention, where everyone is forced to write a 10,000 word essay on why "Renesmee" isn't a stupid name.


Forget Everything You Know About Vampires: Whatever, lit major who spent six years writing a thesis on the symbolism of blood as it relates to menstruation in Bram Stoker's Dracula! You are totally uncool if you think that kind of academic adherence to mythology and literature is going to impress the Twihards of the world. Dracula is old and boring. Real vampires sparkle in the sun, drink animal blood, and drive cars with impeccable safety standards. Try to bring up the historical background of vampires and you'll be greeted with something along the lines of "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist? I don't know, why don't you ask my grandma, who actually cares? TEAM EDWARD FOREVER."


Keep Supplies Handy: Remember that body glitter you wore to the club in 1998? Well guess what? It just might save your life. Be sure to keep a bottle in your car at all times, so that when the Twilight army approaches, you can slather glitter up and down your arms and yell "I believe!" until they leave you alone. You really have to sell this, though. Nobody likes a sparkly vampire poseur. Go back to reading Harry Potter, so-far-behind-the-times girl!


Get A Terrible Temporary Tattoo: If you find yourself surrounded by an obsessive crowd of Twihards, simply take a Sharpie marker and draw an incredibly heinous tattoo on your arm. It doesn't matter how bad it is, as long as it says something about lions or lambs or love in a slightly gothy font. You can even be lazy and write "Twilight RULES" on your hands; it's not the style, but the totally fake sentiment that counts.


Attempt To Insult Twilight, And Then Run: If you really can't contain your disgust for the Twilight series, you're going to have to learn how to run, very fast. Don't even think of yelling "Twilight sucks!" at a local mall or bookstore or screening of New Moon, or death stares and several Burger King approved Team Whoever cups might be flung in your general direction. If you have to hate Twilight, go right ahead, but remember: we're in their world now. Even Batman can't save us anymore.

Twilight Dawns Bright At The Box Office [NYTimes]

The Silver Fox delivers both silver and fox. As if we expected anything less.


Carrie Underwood is the beautiful prom queen who just keeps on getting prettier and prettier after high school. Dammit.


Eva Mendes' dress is adorable, and she looks adorable in it.

Ricki Lake's little black dress is simple but stylish. Go Ricki, and so on and so forth.


There's something a little off about The Rock's suit, isn't there? Like he's dressed as a chaperone at a fancy middle school dance?
It really doesn't matter what Terrence Howard wears. I can't look at him without thinking of baby wipes.


I love Melinda McGraw's dress, if only because it reminds me of something my Midge doll wore in 1987. I mean that in the very best way.


I love the color of Kate Flannery's dress, but I'm not sure about the cut. And the lipstick is a bit too matchy-matchy, I'm afraid.


Every time I see a picture of Jenna Fischer on the red carpet, she looks incredibly uncomfortable. This is no exception. The dress is pretty, though, and she's rocking one of the trends of the evening: big hair.


I don't know what Creed from the Office is doing on the red carpet, but I LOVE IT. I'm hoping a story comes out later tonight that details how Creed stole Anderson Cooper's tie and sold it on Ebay for 20 dollars and a pack of cigarettes or something of the sort.


Laila Ali looks lovely in this purple gown. Purple, like sparkles and big hair, was also a noticeable trend for this event.


Leona Lewis, as you can see, hopped aboard the Purple Train as well. I'm not so sure about this dress.


Debi Mazar's dress is really cute, but the fit seems a bit off, doesn't it?


Neil Patrick Harris knows how to suit up, obviously.


Annalynne McCord's hero is clearly Kate Gosselin.

Let's start with the actual video. It's absolutely terrible, and was directed by Jonas Akerlund, who should probably know better.


The video is technically by Lopez's character "Lola," (I know), and according to JustJared.com, is meant to be "just a warmup track" before her real album drops in January. The "warmup song" kicks off with actual directions on how to dance. "You got your drink in your left hand. Put your right hand on your hips." It's like the hokey pokey for terrible club songs.


Maybe Leighton Meester was in on this whole "Lola" thing, and decided to help J-Lo warm things up by using the exact same shot in her "Somebody to Love" video, no? Or perhaps both of them are really big Rocky Horror fans.


I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you that 75% of this video is comprised of shots of J-Lo's shoes. It's completely ridiculous, but not entirely surprising when you consider that the "official" lead-off single for her album is titled "Louboutins." Classy! As former Idolator editor Maura Johnston once wrote, "what better way to entice your potential audience in a time where unemployment in the U.S. is officially hovering around the 10% mark (the real numbers are even less pretty) than to sing an ode to expensive shoes? It's like Sex And The City never got canceled! $25 cosmos for everyone, you guys!"


Get enough of these shoes yet? No!? Well you're in luck, because there are about 9000 shots exactly like this throughout the video. We barely get a chance to see Jennifer, er, Lola's face.


But when we do, it's SexyFace!


Poor Lola. She thinks her fancy shoes will distract us from lyrics like "Be real you can say who you are/ Everybody say that you doctor at the bar." I think Lola should just stop listening to what everyone says at the bar. People say crazy things at the bar! Like, "I'm a doctor," or "You should totally record and make a video for this piece of crap song."


Straight up, now tell me: where have we seen this shot before?


There's a very awkward scene in this video where "Lola" rocks back and forth on her bed for no apparent reason while the chorus, "fresh out the oven" plays in the background. It all seems very...not so fresh out the oven. Like she has food poisoning. Or like she's trying to hold in her disgust for this entire concept.


The video does have some nice shots in it; here, we're reminded that Jennifer Lopez is actually a great dancer. Too bad it also reminds us that she's not a great singer, and that the song includes the line "You say you want the cookie (yeah)/You've gonna wait for the cookie/No touchy touchy only looky looky." Woof. Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" looks poetic by comparison.


I swear, you guys, there are at least 8 shots of this particular shoe during this scene. The camera flashes away, then flashes back to the shoe, and continues doing this in a pattern that makes you feel like you're being brainwashed. "The shoes are hot. The shoes are hot. You will forget the rest of this shitshow. Fresh Out The Oven. Zack Morris is the blond Tom Cruise."


Oh yeah: there's also a secondary plot wherein Pitbull, who is featured on the track, is being grabbed by tons of women. Later in the video, the walls start grabbing him. I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean. I think we're in a haunted house with an demonic oven in it. Something is fresh out the oven, and it's not going to stop until we all buy Louboutins and break it off here or break it off there.


This gold thing has something to do with something, but I have no idea what it is or why it's important. Is this what just came out the oven? What is happening here, you guys?!


Oh, I get it now! Lola is a demented cat dancing in a haunted house while random people dance around her and various shots of Pitbull being attacked by hands and someone who enjoys writhing around in Louboutins wanders the same sad hallways. Somewhere, something is fresh out the oven. Some might say it's love. Some might say it's lust. After watching this video, however, I'm fairly certain that it's a big steaming turd.

Dear Jennifer Lopez, Why Don't You Just Take All Your Money And Go Away Somewhere Fancy And Leave Us Alone [Idolator]
Jennifer Lopez Fresh Out The Oven Music Video [Just Jared]

ART IS TEARING THEM APART!!111!: "Angelina is always all, 'I like art,'" says a source who owns every season of Friends on DVD. "It totally bums Brad out. You'll notice that he's pulling away from her. That's because she stinks of art appreciation! And also because he never stopped loving Jen."


YIPES, STRIPES: BRAD CAN'T STOP MISSING JEN: "The stripes in this picture reminded Brad of Jen's highlights circa 2001," says some guy who watched a Brad Pitt movie once, "He misses having a mate who understands the importance of matching hair. Gwyneth and Jen were happy to go along with it, but Angelina refuses to grow a beard. It's no wonder he's about to leave her and whisk Jen away to the salon to relive old times."


JEN'S BROKEN HEART IS ANGIE'S FAVORITE ART: "This painting represents the inside of Jen's heart after Brad and Angelina destroyed it," says Sally Fever, who once watched Life Or Something Like It and really didn't like it very much. "I hear that Angelina is going to buy it and have it made into a dress, so she can wear it at every movie premiere just to shove it in Jen's face. True story."


BABY NUMBER 8 HAS ANGIE FEELING GREAT: "This painting turned into a baby two minutes after this picture was taken," says 11-year-old Alice Beans, "and then Angelina adopted it, named it Screwujen and sent its first dirty diaper to Jennifer Aniston in the mail. I don't even know who these people are but my Aunt Kathy swears it's true."


BRANGELINA'S DAY OFF: "Brad's a big Ferris Bueller fan," claims my dog, who is currently asleep on the couch. "He thought it would be fun to reenact the art museum scene. Naturally this means he's leaving Angelina for his ex-wife."


SOURCE OF ANGIE'S POWER: REVEALED!!!: "This is the picture Angelina performs witchcraft to when she's ready to steal someone's husband away," says fake Dr. Albert Quack, "as you can see, the picture represents a great divide, which symbolized Angelina's ability to separate loving couples like Brad and Jen. It also represents a powerful vagina, and I don't think I need to explain how that fits in here. Or do I? I'd rather not, to be honest with you."


Feel free to come up with your own headlines in the comments!

[All Images Via Getty.]

Tamra seems to have been hit the hardest. She and her husband Simon owe more money on their home than it's actually worth. (They bought it in 2005 for $1.3 million, invested $400,000 in upgrades, and were forced to list it in a short sale for $1.149 million this summer.) As Vicki—the only cast member who is doing well in this market with her insurance business—points out, why are Tamra and Simon not working? Especially considering that Simon was sued by a collection agency for owing $24,000 on a 1989 Ferrari.


Although Lynne was optimistic about her cuff business in he first episode, she was actually evicted from her rented home this summer. Instead of paying rent, she and her daughter got a face lift and a nose job.


Gretchen, whose fiancee died last year (reportedly leaving her $1.7 million from an insurance policy), doesn't seem to have a job, and held a garage sale with her boyfriend Slade to make ends meet. Gretchen was just ordered to pay the legal fees (nearly $20,000) of her ex-boyfriend, after bringing on what a judge ruled to be a frivolous lawsuit.

Her current boyfriend Slade is also broke. His house was foreclosed on, and he was arrested for civil contempt earlier this year for nonpayment of child support (to the tune of $80,000) for his terminally ill little boy.


Jeana—who in previous seasons mentioned that she was in the top 3% of realtors—is really feeling the crunch. She needs to sell a $12 million residence for the commission (in this market? good luck!) just so she can afford to keep her own home. She mentions that she's had to sell her watches, jewelry, and cars, and we saw her shopping at H&M. Jeana will be leaving the show next week, because she's "over it." Interestingly, Jeana points out that Vicki is the only person who is financially stable at the moment, and says that it's because Vicki works "15 hours a day, and that's not the way to do it, either." Really? It seems as though it is. Vicki's two children are college educated, she's able to take European trips with her family, and her marriage seems to be thriving. It would appear that hard work is the only way to do it. Maybe it's just sour grapes because Vicki wouldn't lend her money?

And following Dodai's LOLVogue lead, here's one for you to complete! I broke my own LOLSpeak rule to make this for you guys, and my LOLSpeak is admittedly not that great, and I'm sure you can do better. Feel free to create your own using the handy-dandy Roflbot tool, and post it in the comments!

[All Images via Getty.]

The video opens with Meester riding around in the back of a cab, dressed like Blair Waldorf going as Lady Gaga for Halloween. Of course, there's a shot of blurry city lights, because she wants to live the glamorous life and so on and so forth.


There's a LOT of sexyface in this video, you guys. If they ever open a SexyFace museum, this video will have its own exhibit. Also, Meester's cab garb is strikingly similar to the outfit worn by Britney Spears in her "Womanizer" video, no?
Oh wait, no, I don't think she's in a cab. Is she in a limo? Someone's Nissan Altima? Why is she posing in the back of the car all by herself? Why is this a sexy video thing? The only people who pose in the back of someone's car, all alone, are the people who are typically 2.4 seconds away from throwing up all over the floor and yelling "Let's go dancing!" even as the vomit dribbles down their chin.


We then head to a club where Meester writhes around on a red booth, dances on various customers, and messes with her hair a lot.


Double sexyface alert!


Robin Thicke then appears to rap, or something, dressed as someone's cool uncle who says things like "vibe" and "energy" all the time.


Here we have SexyFace's cousin, LolitaFace. It is tired. And so am I after watching much of this video, as Meester spends most of it writhing around on a bed that looks super comfortable.


There is a subplot in this video (I think), wherein Meester is really just imagining much of the love she is receiving (I think?! I have no idea), but as I'm not sure what that's all about, I'll just skip ahead to the red lip shot. I think this is supposed to make us think of sex, but all I think of is commercials for Twizzlers and Dairy Queen. I'm not sure what that says about me.


There's a lot of bed writhing, as I mentioned earlier. And also a lot of jewelry, because we're not supposed to forget that this is a very glamorous situation.


And it's not a sexy video until someone crawls across the floor!


And here's the ol' "Looking at the camera in a sexy way while someone kisses me" shot that Miss Martha Haypenny debuted in 1910. Not really, but you know what I mean.


And then there is this.


And I'm pretty sure this was lifted directly from a Britney Spears perfume commercial.


Lindsay Robertson sums the video up at New York quite perfectly, noting that "the Gossip Girl star moves her lips to a song (occasionally), while wearing lots of jewelry and makeup. She also writhes, and is very pretty." That's seriously it, you guys. She's gorgeous and she writhes around a lot. It's your standard pop-tart video, though it's on such an extreme level at times that it reeks of trying too hard, and I almost wondered after watching it a second time if Meester is just messing with us and doing her best Britney Spears impression for a lark.

I get that it's a sexy song and the video is supposed to match up with that, and that's understandable, I guess. The real problem I have with the video is that I've seen it about 8 million times before, and the manufactured sex factor just makes the whole thing seem kind of boring. You can watch the clip here: feel free to leave your own opinions in the comments.

Leighton Meester's New Video Finally Hits The Internet [NYMag]

Kelly Osbourne and Luke Worrell as Bacon and Eggs: Yes, I know this combo costume has been done to death, but these two are so cute that it totally works. They look warm and happy. And how fun is Kelly's bow?

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Stefani-Rossdale Crew Gwen and the boys, Zuma and Kingston, look adorable, but Gavin totally blows it by not bothering to wear a costume. Unless, of course, he's one of those people who says things like, "I'm Captain Holey Jeans," to explain his lack of Halloween gear. But still. Come on, dude.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Brooke Shields: Her daughters are clearly an angel (or a butterfly?) and a mermaid, but I'm not sure what Brooke is dressed as. Any guesses?

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Pitt-Jolie Crew: I'm not sure what Angelina is dressed as, but Brad is clearly dressed as DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba, which is beyond awesome.

[Image via RadarOnline.]

LaToya Jackson: I'll admit that I'm not quite sure what LaToya Jackson is supposed to be, but she did spend her Halloween night raising money for "AIDS Project LA" by posing with impersonators of her late brother, Michael, which is simultaneously sweet and creepy, though I guess the fact that it was all for a good cause moves it more into the sweet column.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Heidi Klum Heidi, who is somewhat known for her love of elaborate Halloween costumes, ended up going as "a black crow," as did her husband, Seal.

[Image via WENN.]

Christina Aguilera and her son, Max, wore matching skeleton suits. Very cute!

[Image via WENN.]

Christina Ricci and her boyfriend, Curtis Buchanan, did the mime thing, and quite well.

[Image via INFDaily.]

Paul Rudd and his son, Jack, apparently went as adorable for Halloween.

[Image via INFDaily.]

James Gandolfini, meanwhile, put on his best Homer Simpson disguise.

[Image via INFDaily.]

Ice-T and Coco Coco decided to go devilish...

[Image via Getty.]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon while Mariah and Nick decided to be angelic.

[Image via Getty.]

Gene Simmons And finally, Gene Simmons went as, well, Gene Simmons.

[Image via WENN]

It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown: Charlie Brown goes trick-or-treating and watches his friends get various treats as he gets, well, a rock.


Disney's Haunted Halloween: A 1984 educational Disney film meant to teach children all about Halloween and Halloween safety. It's actually a bit creepy!


Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, 1986: Here we learn that Frankenstein's monster was the first to combine peanut butter and chocolate. If only we had listened! We could have been eating peanut butter cups centuries ago!


McDonald's Halloween Happy Meal Pails: When I was a kid, it was absolutely essential to beg your parents to take you to McDonald's so you could get the pumpkin, ghost, or witch-shaped plastic happy meal pails.


McDonald's Halloween Nuggets: Of course, you had to get the haunted chicken McNuggets, as well. As a bonus, this is actually the scariest thing Anthony Bourdain, who despises chicken nuggets, will see all year.


Halloween Safety, 1977: This educational film from the 70s is truly the scariest thing I've seen in a long time. The intro alone is terrifying.


Donald Duck: Trick Or Treat: A Disney cartoon from 1952, featuring Donald and his nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

A Garfield Halloween: Garfield sings various musical numbers as he and Odie set out to gather as much candy as possible.


The Skeleton Dance: A Silly Symphony cartoon from 1929, this cartoon captures the best parts of Halloween; it's a bit scary, a bit silly, and a lot of fun.

Stephanie's approach to the intervention was interesting...


...and not at all successful. I love how she says "don't bullshit a bullshitter," because that's what Anna Nicole said to her cousin Shelly in the Christmas special episode of her reality show.


Jayde and Brody are working hard for their own story line. BTW, in case you didn't know, "yelling" = "angrily talking."


Is that Joe Francis in the scene? I guess they were friends before all the assault charges and lawsuits.