Today's Mad Lib is brought to you by Olivia St. John, who thinks Sarah Palin needs to join "her conservative sisters nursing babies at home," and Neil Lydon, who thinks that now that we have synthetic sperm, feminists want to get rid of all men.

Something overwrought adjective happened today — something that will shake geographical location (the bigger the better) to its core. Person (such as a woman, a scientist, or, for bonus points, a woman scientist) announced something seemingly innocuous. Women are trying to take over the world!

For evidence, we need only look to totally non-credible source:

"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on large, poorly moderated website, such as YouTube.

"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says writer of obscure 1950s book.

If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women any verb that is not "gestate" and men any verb that is not "hunt," "conquer," or "bludgeon." In which woman (bonus if not remotely a feminist) can independent act, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!

As the Bible says, verse (bonus points if it mentions submission, Eve, or the Virgin Mary; minus points for Mary Magdalene). And as ill-defined group such as "some people" have warned, vague alarmist statement.

What will happen to the men of the world if these weird, outdated term for "women" are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like female public figure who is not Ann Coulter to get back in the small, restrictive space so that they can return to euphemism for breastfeeding and men can return to euphemism for bludgeoning.

Triple bonus for including the words "hoar-gnarled," "flibbertygibbet" and "womb."

Synthetic Sperm Brings Mad Feminist Dream A Step Closer [The First Post]

Earlier: Conservative Scribe Is Thankful Sarah Palin Is Headed Home Where She Belongs

At first glance, we thought, oh, this is another Breast cancer Awareness pinkening, albeit a weird one. Or, you know, maybe some reference to the third Sunday in Lent, or French academic medicine! But, no, doesn't look like it. AV Club does a swell job skewering the absurdity, offensiveness and general reek of desperation of this ludicrous marketing gambit, and we can do no better. But in our minds, this raises a few important questions:

1. How many boys are playing with Ouija boards? Maybe some eccentric neo-goth with an affected Alastair Crowley fixation, but isn't it primarily a slumber-party thing at this point? I'd guess that this is already a pretty lady-friendly product.

2. What the hell kind of guiding spirit is this aberration going to attract? Glinda the Good Witch? Jayne Mansfield? Roxy Carmichael? (Okay, that would actually be incredible.) Way to take all the creepiness and mystery and point out of it, Parker Bros.! Even Edgar Cayce wouldn't think this dud was capable of conjuring the devil!

3. Does this herald a new movement of Barbie-Spiritualism? Watch this space for rose-tinted ectoplasm and bubble-print, heart-dotted, automatic-writing kits!

Girls Like To Look At Pink While Contacting The Dead [AV Club]
The pink oujia board [The F Word]