Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #fungames more → 
Misogynist Mad Libs: Synthetic Sperm Edition
Pink Ouija Board: Finally, One Girls Can Use!
New York, 7:49 PM
Mon Nov 9
52 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter
Contributors:
Jenna Sauers
Email
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Lizzie Skurnick
Email
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
| posts about #fungames more → |
Misogynist Mad Libs: Synthetic Sperm Edition |
Pink Ouija Board: Finally, One Girls Can Use! |
|
|
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
07/09/09
Something marklar happened today — something that will shake marklar to its core. marklar announced marklars will marklar those marklars. Women are trying to take over the world!
For evidence, we need only look to this marklar:
"Men su7#@k!" says this marklar, such as YouTube.
"All women should band together to enslave their male marklars," says marklar.
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women marklar and men marklar. In which marklar can marklar, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, Marklar 1:32-38. And these marklars have warned, marklar.
What will happen to the men of the world if these marklars? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like marklar to get back in theeir marklars so that they can return to marklars and men can return to marklars.
There. Sorry - that just felt right.
And that still contained more logic than anything Ross Douthat has ever written!
07/09/09
For proof, we need only look to SOME RANDOM WEBSITE THAT THINKS JEZEBEL IS JUST FULL OF IDIOTS WHO HATE MEN AND LIKE PICTURES OF CUTE ANIMALS:
"Men S#&&$%#K!" says a commenter on COSMOPOLITAN'S MALE BLOGS WHICH ARE NEVER UPDATED.
"All women should ban together to enslave their male inferiors," says AN ANGRY FEMINIST WHO HATED THE POPULAR FEMINISTS BECAUSE HER BOOKS NEVER MADE HER ANY MONEY.
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women DARE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND LEAVE THE HOUSE UNESCORTED and men SUFFER THE SHAME OF HAVING THEIR FOOD SERVED TO THEM WITHOUT HAVING KILLED IT MOMENTS PRIOR. In which PHYLIS SCHLAFLY can SPEAK AT A GRADUATION AND RECEIVE AN HONORARY DEGREE IN SPITE OF BEING VEHEMENTLY PROTESTED, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, in Leviticus 15:19:
"And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even." And as THE PROPHETS WHO ARE ENTIRELY MALE have warned, WOMEN NO LONGER SLEEP IN TENTS FOR A WEEK EVERY MONTH AND HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THEY ARE UNHOLY, EVIL CREATURES..
What will happen to the men of the world if these weird, LOOSE HARLOTS AND JEZEBELS AND TROLLOPS are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like HILLARY CLINTON to get back in the small, restrictive space so that they can return to GIVING SUCKLE TO THE MEN-CHILDREN and men can return to BEATING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT AND SETTING THINGS ON FIRE.
07/10/09
07/09/09
Something WOMB-NUMBING happened today — something that will shake THE MILKY WAY to its core. MARGARET MEADE announced HER LOVE OF PETTING SOFT KITTENS. Women are trying to take over the world!
For evidence, we need only look to UNDERGRADUATE TERM PAPERS:
"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on YAHOO ANSWERS.
"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says ANTHONY DOWNS.
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women MEET FRIENDS FOR COFFEE and men REMOVE HEADLICE. In which ELIZABETH HASSELBECK can PICK HER NOSE, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA. And as TODAY'S YOUTH have warned, D'OH.
What will happen to the men of the world if these KEEPERS OF THE CERVIX are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like MICHELLE OBAMA to get back in the CRAWLSPACE so that they can return to BOOBIE-SQUEEZING and men can return to POUNDING IT HARD.
07/09/09
07/09/09
For evidence, we need only look to FACEBOOK:
"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on PEREZHILTON.COM.
"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says MR. EWELL DOWHATISAY.
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women THINK and men CRY. In which woman can READ, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, "YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE SHADOW OF THE VALLEY OF DEATH I FEAR NO EVIL FOR THOU ART WITH ME." And as INTERNET COMMENTATORS have warned, vague alarmist statement.
What will happen to the men of the world if DOLLIES are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like LADY GAGA to get back in the small, restrictive space so that they can return to SUCKLING AT THE TEAT OF AMERICA and men can return to GLADIATORIAL CONQUEST.
07/09/09
07/09/09
For evidence, we need only look to TMZ:
"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on Free Republic.
"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says Bettylou Freidanface.
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women speak and men shower, In which June Cleaver can independent act, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, "MmmBop, dibbidop ba doowop, MmmBop, dibbidop ba dooo, yea yeaa". And as homo sapiens have warned, THE END IS NEAR.
What will happen to the men of the world if these trollops are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like Kathie Lee Gifford to get back in the car glovebox so that they can return to suckling runts and men can return to demolishing.
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
For evidence, we need only look to whoresrus.com:
"Men su7#@k!" says a commenter on whoresrus.com (aka Jezebel, the home for hoar-gnarled flibbertigibbet womb-haters).
"All women should band together to enslave their male inferiors," says Agnes McSlutpuppy, author of "Women Possess Brains, Too. For Reals!".
If these influential voices are not enough, consider today's bankrupt culture, in which women exist and men cry. In which Ann Coulter can spew a diatribe, yet Ronald Reagan is allowed to die!
As the Bible says, "love thy neighbor, Republican, especially if s/he is hot". And as the National Review has warned, all white men are in danger of becoming irrelevant.
What will happen to the men of the world if these doxies are allowed to take control? What will happen to our values? The only solution is for women like Smurfette to get back in the mop closet so that they can return to marriage-confined wank-spanking and men can return to governing.
07/09/09
Ohhhh, this is fun!
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
07/09/09
They're a little overrated.
05/21/09
From the other side, we call Faith Hill. Faith, if you are with us, please make your presence known.