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New York, 3:49 AM
Thu Nov 26
64 posts in the last 24 hours

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posts about #fuckyou more →
The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Racism Is Worse Than Sexism, Geraldine Ferrarro
Hillary Wins Big In Thrilling Plot Twist, Oh Yay!
"So Basically, Women Voters Just Chose The 'Crying Will Get You What You Want' Candidate. Awesome."

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TurtleSpeak
12/13/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I actually like my chubby arms... no matter how much I've worked out on them, the bottoms stay nice and soft. I don't care that they jiggle a bit. I hate almost everything on my body and my face but my arms... I'm cool with their imperfections. I almost think they're cute. So fuck you flabulessu. They've never got in the way of me being smart, having happy relationships, getting laid, getting a job, or feeling damn sexy (it's everything else that gets in the way of that).
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NefariousNewt
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
flabulessu.com -- Where PR flacks go to die.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
This is totally unrelated but I do hate those McDonald 10-piece nugget commercials with the black dude singing to the girl about some damn chicken.

It's embarrassing.
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badmutha
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
For Reals, if you get your arm fat slinging around enough and you get both arms in the air, you can do a thing called a "tree slap" on somebody's head that damn near knocks them out. When you do it you have to go "TREEEEEEEEEE SLAP!" while you are waving your arms coming down on both sides of their head.

This message brought to you by Muthas of America.
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Tenacious.Sparrow
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Never mind the jiggly arms, do you see that elbow fat?!

like, seriously! How can she even go out in public like that, her elbow looks so, so...human! She needs to get that area firmed immediately or at least have the decency to wear long sleeves.Gawd.

I am completely up to date on my elbow exercises. Like razor blades they are!
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@Besotted.Sparrow: My wrist fat is out of control. I wonder if there is a spot-reducing product on the internet I could buy for that.
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happysquid
12/12/08

@Besotted.Sparrow: I dunno, my earlobes are just toooooo saggy :(
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@happysquid: Scarily, there is surgery for that. True story.
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happysquid
12/12/08

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: AAAAAAAAAH that is scary!
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BeSarcastic
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Arm fat is good for strangling.
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@BeSarcastic: Smothering, too. Pillows are for amateurs.
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Samanthrax
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I can't even handle this today- what total bullshit. Twatwaffles.
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Anna
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Where is your amazing animated gif???? :)
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Samanthrax
12/12/08

@Anna: Oh yessssss...

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Dodai
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: THANK YOU.
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hellosunshine
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Oh my God, I'm feeling vomity again today and that might make me actually vom from laughing so hard.
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Samanthrax
12/12/08

@Dodai: Any chance I get to use this and I forget... please let me know. I like to watch it over and over...

@hellodarling!: Feel better! I hope I did not make you puke.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: I'M SOBBING WITH HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. This is possibly the greatest thing i have ever seen in my life. I am madly in love with you!!!!!!!!!!!
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Samanthrax
12/12/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: Well, that was easy! :)
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: Yeah, I'm no trouble at all. I wish i could do more cool stuff with teh internets, but I has a stoopid when it comes to teh tek-teck- uh, newfangled gadgets. Srsly, though, I almost lost control of the ol' bowels on that one.
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Samanthrax
12/12/08

@terribletwenties aka Aesop's Foibles: It's just HTML... the internets can teach you, all you have to do is google the codes.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@Samanthrax: *laughs till she cries*

I've never seen it in color.
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CrossWord
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Thank god there's a website to help me. My boyfriend won't let me anywhere near his taint with my flabby arms. It was really putting a strain on our relationship.
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/12/08

@CrossWord: But didn't you show him your scrunchie collection? And all those candles?
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BeckySharper
12/12/08

@CrossWord: Didn't I read about this in Cosmo last month?
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BabyJane
12/12/08

@Mkp-hearts-Classic-Jezebel: I put the scrunchies on my upper arms so that the fat is camoflaged when I'm going for the taint. It works every time.
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happysquid
12/12/08

@BeckySharper: No, I think you're confusing it with rubbing frozen GRAPEs on his taint.
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BabyJane
12/12/08

@BabyJane: *camouflaged.
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I remember Janeane Garofalo joking that there were only two kinds of lady upper arms, the ones with visible biceps, and the flabby, matronly kind. I have the latter, and from what I've seen of my family, it's gonna get worse.

But you know, they call me FlabbyArms Abby because I've earned it, I can't help the way I was born. When I was younger I would cry to my mama that I wish I had been born with toned, muscly arms, but now I own that shit. Y'all just don't understand what it's like to be me.
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badmutha
12/12/08

@AbbyNormal: Oh honey. Your funny and insightful and your name is taken from one of the funniest movies ever. What is not to love?
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badmutha
12/12/08

@badmutha: That should be "You're." I'm sincere, but not so smart.
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@badmutha: :)
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thatsnotfab
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Well, at the very least, they got me to visit Urbancougar.com.

I laughed at "The Cougar Connection" cos I think that was also the name of our high school newsletter. Hot moms of Coronado High Schoolers represeeent!

Bahaha. What the hell is wrong with people?
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@thatsnotfab: I prefer Country Cougars, with all those awesome older rural babes and their big trucks and farms and such. They may not be as suave as those urban cougars, but they still have needs, you know.
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vamusical
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
The Arm Fat Ad was probably brought to you by the same people who ask me if I have a muffin top on Facebook 5x a day.
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BabyJane
12/12/08

@vamusical: My arm fat keeps my muffin top company while I'm working all day.
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Miss-Pringle
12/12/08

@vamusical: You can flag it as offensive. I did that to all the diet ads, don't get them anymore.
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vamusical
12/12/08

@Miss-Pringle: I gave it a thumbs down, and they still appeared, but didn't flag it. I don't get them anymore, though. Now I just get ads to meet Christian Singles, all containing toolish looking men.
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I, Zombie Normal
12/12/08

@vamusical: On myspace (yes, I AM a dork), there's this series of ads for this acai berry diet thingy, As Seen on Oprah! but I keep seeing one that claims it's the Celbrity Diet Aid (sic)- yes, all them celbrities are all over this, don's miss out! Maybe it's intentional, so if they get questioned they can say, "Well, we never said any celebrities used our product. Maybe you should read more carefully."
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/12/08

@BabyJane: So your arm fat brings all the muffin top to the yard?

Or something like?
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I'm imagining UrbanCougar.com as a parody website with Jennifer Coolidge posed in skinny jeans and some unnecessarily belted faux-hippie top, just staring emptily at a patch of grass because LIFE. IS. SO. HARD.
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Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka
12/12/08

@Mmmmkay: Coolidge FTW.
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formergr
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Wait-- Oprah definitely doesn't have arm flab in that picture, she looks pretty toned. That's the best example they could come up with? Caroline doesn't look like it either. And what a bizarre pitch or issue to form a whole product around.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
I have no idea what they (the people sending the email) are talking about. The arrow seems to be pointing to that butterfly/i-still-think-it-might-be-a-pony tattoo, and the Oprah looks really good in that photo.

Are they saying that I look good and have a tattoo? Because thank on the former and no, actually I don't have a tattoo (anymore).
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badmutha
12/12/08

In reply to The Worst PR Pitches Of The Week
Oh see, I figured I had a love of democratic causes and dedication to philanthropy in common with C. Schloss and Oprah. But I see what you mean about the arms. Silly me!
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