Apparently someone did what I considered and sent the original letter to Sarah over at Tomato Nation. Interesting response, and discussion in the accompanying comments: [tomatonation.com]#lucindarosenfeld
I would never have friends, male or female, that I couldn't rely on when I needed help. It sucks that this girl had such friends but it sounds like she is too strong and smart to be close with them anymore. Hard thing to do, bravo! #lucindarosenfeld
My best friend took me to the hospital in the middle of the night during my worst cutting period - no questions asked. I did the same for her when she almost burned her apartment down. I was lucky in that aspect, that no matter what she would be there for me and I the same.
She just got married - does this mean I'm screwed? I really hope not. #friendship
Oh yeah! I read this this morning. I was really impressed with the restraint she showed. I'd be all profane and noisome, had someone treated me that way. And the further I got in to her reasoned response, the more I could picture Lucinda, like, glowering at her desk, cursing under her breath and refusing to come out of her office or take anyone's phone calls. Pouting, basically. That image made me smile, as did the letter-writers' last sentence. Awesome. Well done, lady!! #lucindarosenfeld
@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: Aaaah, that makes me smile too. For some reason, picturing adults flouncing and pouting like five-year-olds amuses me to no end. #lucindarosenfeld
What...what kind of insane bullshit is that? I would pick up ANY of my friends in the middle of the night if they needed it, whether or not they'd been roofied. But, obviously, if they've been fucking DRUGGED...
Jesus Christ, who the fuck are these people?
Now I'm worried, though, that maybe I can't rely on my friends to pick me up if it's the middle of the night and I've been drugged, and they're in their "beddie-byes". (Jesus CHRIST. Really? You're prioritizing your comfort over your friend's actual wellbeing?)
Is this an epidemic problem, or am I some kind of lunatic? #friendship
Ugh. After reading the whole letter, I'm even more horrified at the friends. I mean, are they in high school? They were angry because she DANCED with a boy one of them liked? So angry that their anger continued even once it had become apparent that someone roofied her? How childish do you have to be?
@LovelyHue: I know, right? I mean, I know there are Rules about relationships and friendships that go beyond high school, but these are (by the writer's description) mature, professional women. NO EXCUSE for the toxicity, whatsoever, especially when it results in leaving your "friend" behind. #lucindarosenfeld
@LovelyHue: That is some seventh-grade shit right there. I hope the LW decides to make some new friends, because what they did to her is beyond unconscionable. #lucindarosenfeld
@LovelyHue: I hate to say it, but I'm almost 30 and that's behavior I've seen in equal-aged acquaintances. Assholery knows no age limits. #lucindarosenfeld
@LovelyHue: Its scary. If my friend slept with my crush...I STILL would pick her up from a hospital after she recovered from roofies!!!! WTF? She is my friend! #lucindarosenfeld
@Ipomoea: What bothers me about these situations is that girls always blame each other, instead of the guy. Ignoring the fact that we're not fifth-graders and D-A-N-C-I-N-G does not equal marriage and a baby carriage, how do they know that the guy didn't come up to dance with her? I've had way more guys ask me to dance at clubs and concerts than the other way around.
I hate it when a guy flirts with a girl and all the girl does is not slam him down, and suddenly SHE'S at fault in girl circles. It's like LOGIC FAIL.
So yeah, it makes me sad that some people never grow out of that.
I just read the whole letter (as much as I hate to click over to Double X) and it was a thing of art. I don't even know who this woman is, but I'm so proud to see her stand up for herself against a bully and cut herself off from poisonous "friends." #lucindarosenfeld
@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Seriously, her friends sound like bitches. Stone bitches. They ditched her because she was drugged by a stranger and in her roofied up stupor danced with someone?
@Sputnik_Sweetheart: She also managed to put Lucinda Rosenfeld in the her place nicely, without resorting to judgement or insinuation like Rosenfeld did in the first instance.
All in all, it was a much better piece of writing than anything Rosenfeld has managed this week. Well done her! #lucindarosenfeld
@Sputnik_Sweetheart: It really is a good letter, and I just want to hug her and say, "Good for you!"
And I totally relate to her realization that it in hindsight it was clear their close friendship had dissipated a long time ago, and perhaps they were still hanging out because it was just easier than breaking apart and forging new friendships. #lucindarosenfeld
@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Co-sign. Although Lucinda didn't seem to think anything was wrong with their behavior. If I were Lucinda's friend I'd be thinking long and hard about the implications of that. #lucindarosenfeld
@Sputnik_Sweetheart: I'm really proud of her, too. She was betrayed by her friends and then publicly betrayed again by a perfect stranger, and she handled it like a superstar, without ever sinking to the level of the columnist or her so-called friends. Bravo. #lucindarosenfeld
I actually had a friend of mine get roofied while with me. Though I was incredibly drunk myself, I managed to hail a cab, tell my mom my friend was sick, tuck her into my bed, take care of her, and make her breakfast the next morning. I was 17! 17! Honestly, those are some really fucking horrible friends.
I can't think of how I'd call myself a friend if I didn't offer a car ride, a shoulder, a floor or blow up mattress, a full bottle of booze, videos and cookies, extra clothes, a sympathetic ear, or bail money to my friends. And they'd do the same, too. That's why they're your friends.
I feel really sorry for this awful columnist. It sounds like she can't even imagine this.
It sounds as if these people the OP is talking about are actually NOT her friends.
I can't think of anyone I call a friend that would do that to me. I've had friends help me out when BOYFRIENDS wouldn't.
Shit, my roommate who I met on CRAIGSLIST would have picked me up at the hospital right after I moved in if I would have called her.
There is something wrong with those single female "friends".
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Amen to that! And Rosenfeld needs to be fired as an advice columnist. She clearly causes harm with he ignorance. #lucindarosenfeld
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She just got married - does this mean I'm screwed? I really hope not. #friendship
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Jesus Christ, who the fuck are these people?
Now I'm worried, though, that maybe I can't rely on my friends to pick me up if it's the middle of the night and I've been drugged, and they're in their "beddie-byes". (Jesus CHRIST. Really? You're prioritizing your comfort over your friend's actual wellbeing?)
Is this an epidemic problem, or am I some kind of lunatic? #friendship
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I hate it when a guy flirts with a girl and all the girl does is not slam him down, and suddenly SHE'S at fault in girl circles. It's like LOGIC FAIL.
So yeah, it makes me sad that some people never grow out of that.
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Fuck y'all! #lucindarosenfeld
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All in all, it was a much better piece of writing than anything Rosenfeld has managed this week. Well done her! #lucindarosenfeld
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And I totally relate to her realization that it in hindsight it was clear their close friendship had dissipated a long time ago, and perhaps they were still hanging out because it was just easier than breaking apart and forging new friendships. #lucindarosenfeld
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But yes that was brave and brilliant. And those friends are terrible. #lucindarosenfeld
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@Mary McCarthyite: #lucindarosenfeld
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I feel really sorry for this awful columnist. It sounds like she can't even imagine this.
10/12/09
I can't think of anyone I call a friend that would do that to me. I've had friends help me out when BOYFRIENDS wouldn't.
Shit, my roommate who I met on CRAIGSLIST would have picked me up at the hospital right after I moved in if I would have called her.
There is something wrong with those single female "friends".