• To mull during your post-Thanksgiving satiety: A reclining Heidi Klum, with feast, in jigsaw puzzle form. [FWD]

• Karl Lagerfeld's helmets — first glimpsed on the runway earlier this year — have entered the retail food chain. Anyone in need of a €1200 - €4545 helmet, possibly mink-covered or embroidered with pearls, should try her luck at — where else? — Colette in Paris starting this December. These have iPod hookups, people. [Hintmag]
• Online magazine Flamboyant — which has one of those frustrating websites where the component pages are unlinkable — did a wickedly funny editorial where it styled various bread rolls as though they were designer branded creations. In a world where Karl Lagerfeld can make $6,000 helmets and Christian Audigier can sell $3 name-brand water, let's not give them any ideas, shall we? [FWD]
• If you can fit into the Kate Moss — Scarlett Johansson size range, want to wear a Lanvin dress to your holiday party, and live in the UK, Topshop just might have your number. The high street chain has persuaded 20 celebs — Freida Pinto, Jourdan Dunn, and, uh, Peaches Geldof among them — to donate one preferred party frock apiece. (Peaches' is that horrid floral curtain number she wore at Cannes this summer, so beware.) The dresses will be available for public hire for £40, and then a silent auction for outright ownership. All proceeds go to a charity for the elderly. [Daily Mail]
• Alternatively, you could just wait 6-12 months for Coco Rocha's fashion line to become a reality. She just posted a video on her blog announcing the new venture, and which shows her hard at work sketching. She's also seeking name ideas. [OhSoCoco]
• Eugenia Kim reads Gawker. HAMILTON WILL NEVER LOVE YOU LIKE I DO, EUGENIA!! [TFI]
• Tommy Hilfiger's Greenwich, Connecticut, home sold for $20 million, about $8 million less than his asking price, but still $2 million more than he paid for it in 2005. [AP]

[London, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[London, October 20. Image via Flynet.]

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Four thousand other Scientologists — including John Travolta and Kelly Preston — were part of a "rapturous, fist-pumping crowd." It was the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Fun? Oh, also: There were protesters outside, and Tom said: "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" Wait, what? [Us Magazine]

• Speaking of Travolta: The extortion case has gone to the jury. [TMZ]
• This could be amazing: Ridley Scott is in talks with Angelina Jolie to play a femme fatale role in Gucci — a drama about murder and decadence in the Gucci fashion dynasty. In 1995, right before he was about to reestablish the brand by debuting Tom Ford's line, Maurizio, the grandson of founder Guccio Gucci, was gunned down in Milan. [Variety]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but Gerard Butler has had a threesome in the past year. [The Sun]
• What's this? Renée Zellweger says she hasn't signed on for a third Bridget Jones flick?!?! "I get asked every single day, and I don't know anything," she says. "It's a rumor." [E!, Us]
• Halle Berry's daughter Nahla is learning to play golf. No, really: daddy Gabirel Aubry says: "She's learning to play golf. She has a little hole in the backyard." [People]
• Rumpus, a Great Dane who starred in three Lady Gaga music videos, was found dead after a hike in Los Angeles. [TMZ]
• Colin Farrell has a newborn son, his second child. [Independent]
• Heidi Montag didn't go to her sister Holly Montag's birthday party because no one was paying her an appearance fee. [Fox News]
• Poor Dave Chappelle was trying to set the Laugh Factory's endurance record for continuous stand up comedy, but five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom. Disqualified! [USA Today]
• Boo. Mark Ronson will never work with Lily Allen again. Boo. [The Sun]
• A series of emails reveal that the Swiss Federal Office of Justice faxed the U.S. Office of International Affairs letting the Americans know about Roman Polanski's planned appearance in Zurich and asking if the US would be submitting a request for Polanski's arrest. [CBS News]
• Three New York prison officials have quit their jobs following a scandal involving rapper Foxy Brown; they reportedly let her do a photo shoot to promote her new album, despite the fact that she was behind bars. Investigators will try to reveal if she received preferential treatment. You think? [Contact Music]
• Gossip Girl paychecks: Blowing in the wind. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin's got jokes! Speaking at the Elle Women In Hollywood event, he said: "I want to assure you that I didn't steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles." And! ""If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom's movies." And! Renée Zellweger "is so tiny, but she's got a big voice. I've been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can't understand a word she says." More at the link. [People]
• Mischa Barton is trying to trademark her name in Australia, but there's already a company called Mischa Accessories. What to do?!?! [News.com.au]
• Victoria Beckham will be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance — in the UK. Sorry 'Mericans. [Daily Mail]
• Viewers submitted almost 9,000 questions for Kate Gosselin to answer during her TLC one-hour special on Monday. Here's one more: When will you go away? [People]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Life & Style is proclaiming its latest issue (out today) a "Special Gosselin-Free Issue." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Guy Ritchie is a distant relative of King Edward 1, and when you look at a side by side comparison, there's a resemblance! The nose? And the jaw? [Daily Mail]
• Rob Burnett, executive producer of The Late Show with David Letterman, has replied to NOW, who called the workplace a "toxic environment." Burnett's letter reads: "As an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times." He also points out that 58% of the Late Show staff are women. [LA Times]
• A fan approached Freida Pinto in London; Freida accidentally bumped into her; the woman stumbled and fell in front of a car; Freida rushed to make sure the woman was okay; everyone was fine and it was a happy ending caught on camera. [This Is London]
• Take a deep breath and relax: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's prenup is a done deal. [TMZ]
• OMG! Dancing With The Stars flu outbreak! Run for the hills! [People]
• Salman Rushdie is pissed that his ex-girlfriend said he was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. He says: "I long ago turned the page and moved on." [Page Six]
• Glenn Beck travels with an armed guard. Even when he goes to the bathroom. [Page Six]
• "A strip club worker accused of beating to death the ex-fiance of a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been freed on bond." [CBS News]
• At the link: James Gandolfini, Elaine Stritch and fat jokes. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options. Which still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead. Which son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?" [Page Six]
• "The trouble is, before, I felt married to two people — Pete and our management." — Whatshername. [Daily Mail]
• "I wish to make it perfectly clear for the record that my manager, Claire Powell, who I have known for the past 16 years, is my manager and a personal friend. She has never betrayed me or done anything other than support me, which is more than can be said for my ex wife." — Whatshisname. [The Sun]
• "There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy… Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger … and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction… I would have blown my brains out." — Hulk Hogan writes about his suicidal thoughts after his divorce in his new book. [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• "I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us." — 87-year-old Carl Reiner, who has two new books out. The story at the link details his fascinating life from a high schooler in New York to working in the garment industry to becoming a writer/director. [LA Times]
• "I know what they're eating and I know what they're doing. Their friends' parents understand their vegetarian and no-TV needs. I give them age-appropriate messages. It's just like most parents don't allow alcohol or cigarettes. I tell them that everyone does things differently and that's OK. It's very important to us to raise nonjudgmental children who don't go finger-wagging. When they're driving themselves around, they're going to make their own decisions, but fast food isn't something I'm gonna facilitate. Still, at some point they"re going to make their own decisions. You give your children wings so they can fly." — Mayim Bialik on raising her kids holistically and via "green mothering." [HuffPo]
• "I've offered to come on Saturday Night Live because I thought I would help them get the ratings. Because clearly that humor that they had when they first had Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi ... has gone (with) this (current) cast of characters. I thought I would show some benevolence as governor and help them out a little bit." — Governor David Paterson, who is often mocked on SNL for being blind. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." — Carnie Wilson on her hew reality series, Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, in which viewers will see her trying to take off about 50 pounds of "baby weight." [AP]
• "We've had a real good collaboration. Crucially, she approved me as director, and she didn't have to. We had some discussions that were very important — my convincing her that I didn't want to take her baby and run away with it, or tell a story that was counter to the spirit of what she was trying to tell. I see myself, in the last few movies I've done, as adapting literary properties into film, so that's how I treated this one. We got along like a house on fire." — Chris Weitz, who's directing New Moon, kept in contact with Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, to Details. You saw the pix, right? [Page Six]
• "He was eating chips and dip and he was laughing so hard, he started choking. I thought I'd killed Tony Romo. Here it would be like killing David Beckham or Pele, it was a scary moment."— Jeremy Piven told a deadly joke. [Mirror]
• "We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life." — Lisa Marie Presley, who had twins last year, has left L.A. for London. [Contact Music]
• "[Quitting the show] was a complete anomaly in my life and my career. I've never missed out on anything. I relished the opportunity to be on Broadway… It's the holy grail for people like me. But I was incredibly ill. The levels of mercury I had, they had no reference for them. I had to be retested three times. Sometimes when you work without stopping, your body gives in. That is what happened. I've done more movies than years I've been alive. All I've done is work… I arrived in Los Angeles in my early 20s and I've been pounding the pavement ever since. But it wasn't until Entourage that my work became accessible to so many people. If there's one thing I'm prepared for, it's rejection." — Jeremy Piven. [Guardian]
• "Sitting on an island smoking my first joint." — Tyler Perry, when asked where he would like to be in 10 years. [Page Six]
• "I told them, don't ask me to grow out my hair or lose any weight. I want to represent real women who have curves." — Amber Rose on signing with Ford Models. She did, however, agree not to get any more tattoos. [LA Times]

[Paris, October 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Mickey Rourke, at Max Azria: "I really don't like Max that much. He's a short little guy with a good looking wife. Maybe I'll steal his wife." [WSJ]
• Tom Ford to close-talking columnist: "Are you trying to smell me?" [NationalPost]

• If you care about who People thinks is the best-dressed, their annual list is out. Kate Winslet, Reese Witherspoon, Vanessa Hudgens, and Freida Pinto all made the cut; on the men's side, so did Brad Pitt, Robert Pattinson, and Bradley Cooper. [People]
• Audrey Tautou, currently playing Coco Chanel across multiple platforms, has a print ad for Chanel No. 5 out. [People]
• Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz is to address the UNESCO World Forum on Culture and Cultural Industries in Italy next week. [WWD]
• Lauren Conrad presents her fall collection for Kohl's in this video. It's very cute how she pretends to have seen it before. [People]
• Avril Lavigne presented her collection for Kohl's in New York City on Monday night. It includes a hoodie with earbuds in the drawstring. We must have missed this one for the Snuggie show. [People]
• Ralph Lifshitz and Calvin Klein grew up in the same part of the same neighborhood of the Bronx, Norwood's Mosholu Parkway, and both attended Public School 80, four years apart. Former Bronx borough president Fernando Ferrer says, "These are working-class guys — they were neither poor nor wealthy, and it's interesting that their clothes are aspirational. Ralph Lauren designs preppy, polo type clothes. That wasn't his experience then. So does Calvin Klein — elegance, simplicity." [Cityroom]
• Anya Hindmarch believes in "speaking up for bespoke" objects in a time of mass-production. Naturally, she also believes in charging £500 for a wallet. [ToL]
• Meanwhile, for the rest of us, Zara has plans to start selling its clothes online. [FT]
• Georgia May Jagger: "I really don't get it, to be perfectly honest. I still don't have that firm a grasp on why me being my parents' daughter is so interesting." Being your parents' daughter is the only reason you have a career, dear! [Style.com]
• It's certainly the only reason Vanity Fair is talking to her. "Modeling is always something I've really admired because I've seen my mum and sister do it," says Jagger. [VF]
• David Lauren: "We created the first 24-hour shopping experience on the windows of our mansion on 72nd St. You can literally walk up to the glass, press on the glass, and shop the product that's in the store. You can touch your credit card to the glass and buy it." [The Cut]
• Will lazy writers ever abandon the canard that Lara Stone — a model with stated measurements of 33"-24"-35", entirely within the tiny range of straight-size modeling — is somehow "curvy" or represents "change" on the catwalk? Stone — who is incredibly good at what she does, and well established in the business because of it — has not been "opening everyone's shows." In fact she has yet to be spotted anywhere in the lineup at a single show this season. [Telegraph]
• Halston, that long-rudderless brand, had a spring presentation that was a bit of a train wreck. The clothes looked very similar to each other, and the mannequins were weird. [WSJ]
• Barneys New York has now operated for 14 months without a C.E.O. Wracked by debt, the retailer is the subject of rumors alleging its inability to even pay its invoices. The head of Istithmar, the investment fund that owns Barneys, says "We have stood by Barneys and will continue to stand by this company." Words you never want to have to hear from a C.E.O. [WWD]
• Nina Garcia's third book about personal style is naturally all about the recessionista, not the fashionista. [Reuters]
• According to an online survey of 61,000 teens, teenagers are spending less money, because their parents are giving them less money, because their parents have less money. Thanks for getting to the bottom of this important recession conundrum, social networking site Habbo Hotel. [Reuters]

• As predicted, Beyoncé will have a fragrance by springtime. For the rights to her name, Sasha Fierce is set to earn up to $20 million over the next three years. [WWD]

• Marc Jacobs didn't invite Madonna or Lady Gaga to his runway show — they asked to come, and he acquiesced. Would have been pretty awkward to turn your campaign model (Madonna) and after-party performer (Gaga) down. [WWD]
• In addition to doing a line that will sell exclusively on eBay, Narciso Rodriguez — who lost his financial backing last year — is doing more dresses that will retail at less than $1,000, rather than $1,800 and up, his typical price point. [WSJ]
• Carolina Herrera did a "Got Milk?" ad with her daughter. [JustJared]
• There is no better demonstration of the phenomenon of a collection becoming overexposed and untrendy before it even hits the stores than Pink and Shakira both attending the Video Music Awards in the same Balmain leather-and-chains minidress. It wasn't the label's flacks' fault, however: while Shakira borrowed the dress, Pink ordered it herself online. [WWD]
• Bee Schaffer took the place of her mother, Anna Wintour, at the Thakoon show on Monday afternoon. Is she as set on a career in the theater as she seems? It's hard to read about a thing like that without hearing Wintour's voice in The September Issue: "We'll see about that!" [NYObs]
• Freida Pinto popped up at fashion week to go to a party at the Harry Winston store. [WWD]
• "I am calm! I am a calm person!" is clearly not the kind of thing one should to have to shout, but if Russell Simmons couldn't get a seat at Charlotte Ronson, that definitely explains why I, a ticket-holder, couldn't even get into the show. [Radar]
• Rachel Zoe's QVC collection sold out within minutes. But fear not, for she of the sharp clavicle will be back on the idiot box on October 10. [People]
• Likewise, if you weren't refreshing your browser to buy Anna Sui for Target Sunday when the collection went live, you may now be out of luck. [Crain's]
• Ramona Singer, professional Housewife, is launching a jewelry line with the Home Shopping Network. [People]
• Urban Outfitters' president and founder Dick Hayne sold $50 million worth of his company shares. [TS]
• A Chinese company that embroidered the text, "In the name of God, the compassionate, the merciful" on jeans has seen its wares seized in Iran. The importers were arrested. [Guardian]
• The U.N. has recognized Indonesian batik fabric as an element of the world's cultural heritage, and added it to its Intangible Cultural Heritage list. [NYTimes]

[London, August 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Freida Pinto and Evangeline Lilly are new faces of L'Oreal. To mark the occasion, Lilly said she's proud "to represent a brand whose ambition is to...contribute to the fulfilment [sic] and well-being of everyone." [PRNewswire]

• After long construction delays, cash-strapped Roberto Cavalli has opened his $30 million designer night club in Dubai. The floors are black quartz, and Swarovski crystals dangle from the ceilings, for that pre-recession look. [WWD]
• Designer Hussein Chalayan, for his part, sees the future, and it looks like you wearing his ugly sneakers for Puma. [Dazed Digital]
• The pop star Estelle, who recently designed a handbag, now wants a shoe line. [WWD]
• Giles Deacon is expanding his business. A new manufacturing deal with Italy's Castor Srl will allow his label to reach more than 120 stores worldwide, compared with his current 38, and to do pre-season collections. [Elle UK]
• Pharrell Williams, and Takashi Murakami. Making art, together. [WWD]
• Sophie Dahl, who recently published her first cookbook, is rumored to be in talks to present a food show for the BBC. [Metro UK]
• The Elle Decor of cokey hipster creatives, The Selby, shot Julia Restoin-Roitfeld's New York apartment. Look only if you can stomach a designer shoe collection with a total sticker price in the tens of thousands before noon. [The Selby]
• Christian Siriano, who has made Heidi Klum some clothes to wear during her fourth pregnancy, demonstrates the way not to talk about a high-profile client after the fact: "I think she's trying to cover it a little this time. She's getting older and wants to be more sophisticated, not casual. She's trying to keep it a little quiet." Klum's trainer, David Kirsch, shows the proper deference and positivity: "Why should she do anything differently? She had a beautiful body all throughout her pregnancies. She's very disciplined and dialed in to being healthy." [People]
• Sessilee Lopez credits last July's all-black issue of Italian Vogue, which featured her on one of its four covers, with "resurrecting" her career. [The Cut]
• Topshop is on the hunt for more retail locations in Manhattan. [NY Observer]
• Competitor H&M is making its latest designer collaboration, with Brit Matthew Williamson, available in more of its stores than ever before. The Swedish chain has 1,700 stores worldwide, and Williamson's summer collection will be stocked in 1,600 of them when it launches this Thursday — compared with the 200 stores that previous collaborations with designers like Karl Lagerfeld and Stella McCartney had reached. [WSJ]
• The H&M line is also Williamson's first foray into men's wear — something he might continue under his own label, if the mass-market collection goes over well. [WWD]
• Rick Ross wore a pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses on the May cover of XXL magazine — and promptly received a letter from the company informing him they were counterfeit. "Louis Vuitton did not grant permission to Mr. Ross or to whoever did make the sunglasses to use our trademarks," wrote a miffed company spokesperson. Ross says the glasses are real, but that he had an L.A. jeweler add 14 karat gold accents to them. Which befits a style named "The Millionaire." [WWD]
• Macy's, ever neighborly, expands its inventory whenever a competitor within its ambit fails, in order to lure the bankrupt chain's former customers. [WSJ]
• Nordstrom is being sued by a group of former employees who allege that the company stole their sales commissions. When an item is returned by a Nordstrom customer, the commission originally paid the salesperson is deducted from that worker's salary — but thanks to Nordstrom's lenient return policy, in practice this policy means that items bought, and commission accordingly paid, months earlier can suddenly be rescinded. Nordstrom settled a racial harassment lawsuit with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for $292,500 last month. [Fashionista]
• eBay has won the lawsuit brought against it by L'Oreal, meaning the auction giant has no legal responsibility for counterfeit products sold through its site. [WWD]
• Liz Claiborne reported a loss of $91.4 million in the first quarter of this year. This was much steeper than analysts had expected, and the company's share price fell. [Reuters]
• If you want to fly like Superman, this leotard worn by Christopher Reeve — with reinforced slits for wires — might get you started. [Mirror]

This is the 18th annual MTV Movie Awards, but the first year that fans have voted on the final nominees. That may explain some of the odd match ups, which are, "pitting Hollywood vampires against the Mumbai slums," as the MTV press release put it. Of course, the MTV Movie Awards have never been presented as a serious awards show, but it's still strange to think that Anne Hathaway is nominated for her performance in Bride Wars not Rachel Getting Married, and that Ashley Tisdale could beat Freida Pinto for the best Female Breakthrough Performance.

From today through May 27 viewers can vote at MovieAwards.MTV.com to determine the winners, which will be announced during a live broadcast on Sunday, May 31, hosted by Andy Samberg. The nominees are:

BEST MOVIE
• The Dark Knight
• High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Iron Man
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Twilight

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
• Angelina Jolie – Wanted
• Anne Hathaway – Bride Wars
• Kate Winslet – The Reader
• Kristen Stewart – Twilight
• Taraji P. Henson – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
• Christian Bale – The Dark Knight
• Robert Downey Jr. – Iron Man
• Shia LaBeouf – Eagle Eye
• Vin Diesel – Fast & Furious
• Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE
• Amanda Seyfried – Mamma Mia!
• Ashley Tisdale – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Freida Pinto – Slumdog Millionaire
• Miley Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Vanessa Hudgens – High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Kat Dennings – Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE MALE
• Robert Pattinson – Twilight
• Taylor Lautner – Twilight
• Ben Barnes – The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
• Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
• Bobb'e J. Thompson – Role Models

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
• Amy Poehler – Baby Mama
• Anna Faris – The House Bunny
• James Franco – Pineapple Express
• Jim Carrey – Yes Man
• Steve Carell – Get Smart

BEST VILLAIN
• Derek Mears – Friday The 13th
• Dwayne Johnson – Get Smart
• Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
• Johnathon Schaech – Prom Night
• Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army

BEST FIGHT
• Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson – Bride Wars
• Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
• Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss – Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet – Twilight
• Seth Rogen and James Franco vs. Danny McBride – Pineapple Express

BEST KISS
• Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy – Wanted
• Freida Pinto and Dev Patel – Slumdog Millionaire
• James Franco and Sean Penn – Milk
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson – Twilight
• Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon – I Love You, Man
• Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron – High School Musical 3: Senior Year

BEST WTF MOMENT (New Category)
• Amy Poehler – Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink
• Angelina Jolie – Wanted, Curved Bullet Kill
• Ayush Mahesh Khedekar – Slumdog Millionaire, Jumping in the Poop Shed
• Ben Stiller – Tropic Thunder, Tasting the Decapitated Head
• Jason Segel and Kristen Bell – Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Naked Break-Up

BEST SONG FROM A MOVIE (New Category)
• "Jai Ho" – AR Raham, Slumdog Millionaire
• "The Wrestler" – Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler
• "The Climb" – Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
• "Decode" – Paramore, Twilight

"TWILIGHT"VS. "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE"! TOP FAN-NOMINATED FILMS GET READY TO RUMBLE AT THE "2009 MTV MOVIE AWARDS" [MTV Press]

[Jerusalem, April 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Nadya Suleman was on Dr. Phil's show yesterday via telephone, talking about why she fired her baby nurses:

"Myself and my nannies felt extremely uncomfortable. I personally felt like a stranger in my own home. I felt as though every time I tried to hold the babies, feed the babies, they would be observing and they were waiting for me to make a mistake." Hmm. Probably true. [E!]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown are indeed "taking a break." "Jay-Z told Rihanna she needs to cut things out with Chris, at least in public," says an unnamed source. Yes! Good idea! [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]
• Chris Brown was supposed to have a "private court meeting" Monday, but it was canceled. [E!]
• Kate Moss went to an East London tattoo parlor and got a bunch of piercings in her ear; she now has six holes in one lobe. Newsy! [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston's hoodie is out-of-control, but an effective way to keep your face out of the paper. [Daily Mail]
• What do we think about Julianne Moore playing Hillary Clinton in a new flick? She doesn't really look like HRC, but JM can pull off anything. [NY Daily News]
• Sparkly vampire down! Robert Pattinson was smacked in the head by a sign on the set of New Moon. [Socialite Life]
• This story about Bruce Willis hand-picking his new wife at a casting call ignores the fact that the woman has emotions and thoughts of her own. She didn't have to go out with him. [Page Six]
• Coco Arquette, 4, daughter of David Arquette and Courteney Cox, is considereing modeling. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Hudson is scheduled to tape her American Idol performance today; the appearance will air on an upcoming ep. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Prince Harry went to some kind of "rave for posh people" wearing pink nail polish and a black wig. While there, he chatted up his ex, Chelsy Davy. Reunited and it fees so good? [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker's stunt double, and that stunt double's underwear. [Daily Mail]
• Cops say that three-car-crash involvng T.R. Knight was caused by T.R. Knight. [E!]
• Juicy and delicious: The feud between Antony Bourdain and Rachael Ray has been taken down to a simmer, now that Bourdain found out RR likes the New York Dolls. We writes: "I don't know whether to go out and shoot a puppy, or send Rachael a fruit basket." [Gatecrasher]
• Gloria Vanderbilt, aka Anderson Cooper's mother, has an erotic novel called Obsession. Awesome or awful? [EW]
• Freida Pinto's been cast in a Julian Schnabel film; she's also shooting a Woody Allen flick in the summer. [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz has been cast in Swingles, a romcom with "a 21st century When Harry Met Sally vibe." Here's a guess: She'll be goofy and giggly, and dance. [Hollywood Reporter]
• U2's massive new stage setup is something called "The Claw." It looks like an alien invasion, but it's supposed to bring the band closer to the crowd. [Rolling Stone]
• Flight Of The Conchords: The Movie? Maybe! [Mirror]
• Veronica Mars movie? Nope. [NY Mag]
• Josh Schwartz, the dude behind Gossip Girl, Chuck and The OC, has a new web series called Rockville CA: Two hipsters spend their nights at an LA rock club; each ep features performances by up and coming bands. [USA Today]
• Denise Richards got the boot on Dancing With The Stars. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Josh Groban's rep wants you to know that Josh and Katy Perry are friends but not, repeat, NOT a couple. [People]
• Star Jones has a new blog, in case you're dying to know about the scar on her chest or her thyroid. [E!]
• The rumor about Parks and Recreation being meh could be circulating because gossip columnist Nikki Finke hates NBC's Ben Silverman. [NY Mag]
• Michael Jackson would like to enter his London concerts riding an elephant, thank you very much. [Mirror]
• "Jade Goody and Princess Diana had so much in common." Pardon? [Daily Mail]
• Finish your Kirk chairs: Sunday's episode of Family Guy reunites the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. [e!]
• Fred Astaire: Secretly racist? Sigh. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hot actor is clueless about his GF's cocaine addiction? His lady waits until he's off promoting a film before throwing wild drug bashes at their home." [Gaetcrasher]
• "He is hilarious to me. I just got it. Every time I drove to record his voice, I was excited about coming up with this funny stuff to say. I felt like I accomplished something, making a movie kids like that is as hilarious as anything that is out there. [But] I did a meet-and-greet with kids after the premiere in Australia. I realized kids just don't like Seth Rogen. I scare the (bleep) out of them. Maybe it's my laugh or that I'm a big, hairy guy. They just don't like me." — Seth Rogen, on playing B.O.B. in Monsters Vs. Aliens. [USA Today]
• "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy." — an insider on New Moon actor Robert Pattinson. [Perez]

• Brad Pitt's mom was supposed to move into the Long Island estate where the posse is staying while Angelina Jolie films Salt, but Angelina has reportedly nixed the idea.

She thinks Brad should be able to handle the kids on his own, like she did when he was filming in Germany, according to a source. No word on what is up with the nanny, but that was a Star story and this is from a different source. [National Enquirer]

• Jen Aniston and John Mayer have indeed broken up. [Gatecrasher]
• It's official: Dancing With The Stars is a goddamn health hazard. Now Steve-O has pinched nerves. [ET]
• Injured Jewel will sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on DWTS on Tuesday. [UPI]
• Bong boy Michael Phelps's interview with Matt Lauer will air on the Today show this morning and again Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Here's what you're gonna hear Michael Phelps say during the interview: "mistake," "bad judgment," "stupid mistake." Wait, do you regret it? [People]
• Last week, four of the celeb weeklies put Rihanna on the cover, and none of them saw an increase in sales. Life & Style had a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and sold more than sister mag In Touch. [NY Post]
• Chris Brown's image still appears on Sony Music's website. [NY Daily News]
• Details on Mandy Moore's wedding to Ryan Adams: The bride wore a "cream-colored, lacy tea-length dress and flat sandals" and the groom wore "tight skinny jeans, a T-shirt with sport coat and sneakers." The pastor "didn't know who they were." The ceremony took eight minutes. [People]
• The woman is dead but Anna Nicole Smith's legal issues live on: Now Howard K. Stern has turned himself in for providing ANS with prescription drugs. He was arrested and booked yesterday and the charge is a felony. [TMZ, People, Fox 411]
• This report begins, "Let's stop encouraging Joaquin Phoenix's miscreant behavior - the only thing real about this rap act is the beard." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joaquin's "brawl": "It was a fake fight," says a witness. "Nobody threw a punch. They were just holding onto each other." [Page Six]
• Here's what Hayden Panettiere has to say about that "outburst" she had on the red carpet: "I have tremendous respect for the media and reporters – particularly the press who treat the people they are interviewing with dignity. While in Hawaii, one reporter grabbed me suddenly from behind and frightened me. It happens. Typically, the press has treated me with great respect." [Ok!]
  
• Will Slumdog's Freida Pinto be the new Bond girl? Signs point to yes. [The Sun]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have "beaten up" her boyfriend to make sure she stays on Real Housewives. People are saying the attack was fake. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is leaving House. Who, who? Also, Judy Greer is in an episode next week. She says: "[My character] works at a nursing home and there's a cat, and whoever's bed the cat sleeps on dies in the next couple of days. And then one day the cat snuggled up to my character and she totally freaks out and goes to see House..." [E!]
• Miley Cyrus wanted to meet Radiohead after the Grammys. She was told they "don't do that." She says: "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch them. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm going to ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone." Radiohead responds: "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement." [Mirror]
• Feel like doing a *headdesk*? Peaches Geldof will be in a reality show about her "career" at Nylon magazine. [The Sun]
• No one wants you to forget that auction documents show that Michael Jackson's house was filled with sculptures of boys. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton has a job! She's been cast in a CW show produced by Ashton Kutcher. "Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it's about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I'm used to being around a lot of people in that," Barton says. "[I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it's a totally different character for me." [People]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did an SNL skit about Hawaii's tourist industry and now the Governor of that state is pissed. [CBS News]
• Congrats to Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, who is now a U.S. citizen. [People]
• Hugh Hefner is selling his house. Not the Playboy Mansion — the one next door, where his wife was living. [WSJ]
• OutKast's André Benjamin says it's tough being a fashion designer because people think "hip-hop stars will just throw their names on anything." And: "I'm not a gay man." [Page Six]
• Set your DVR: Tracy Pollan (Mrs. Michael J. Fox) is playing Natalee Holloway's mom in a Lifetime movie. [USA Today]
• Nicollette Sheridan could return to Desperate Housewives after she leaves this season. The show's creator says: "I wouldn't be surprised if that's just a nasty rumour and Nicollette has more Desperate Housewives episodes in her future." [Mirror]
• Vin Diesel says his life has changed in "an incredible way" since the birth of his daughter last year. [Mirror]
• Chris Cornell not only has a new Timbaland-produced album coming out, he has a second career as a restauranteur. In Paris. [Guardian]
• A screenwriter is suing the makers of the Jane Fonda/Jennifer Lopez flick Monster-In-Law, accusing them of stealing her plot. Sorta late, no? [E!]
• Researchers with too much time on their hands have "discovered" that if you listen to U2, you're smart, and if you listen to Lil Wayne, you're not. [The Sun]
• Whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson? She's in a new indie called The Cake Eaters. [LA Times]
• Least blind blind item ever? "Which rapper threatened a pal after the buddy mistreated his girlfriend? The icon got in his face, then froze him out on the group's private jet." [Gatecrasher]
• "I certainly try my best not to be a terrible interview subject. But I am tortured. If you've been acting all your life, you can just talk about yourself without ever thinking about what's going on inside the head of the person that's interviewing you. But for me it's different, because I'm constantly seeing it from both sides. I don't think there's any connection between my journalism career and my film career." — Greg Kinnear. [Independent]
• "I think that the best way to judge movies is, like, 10 years after they're released. I think they should actually do the awards that way. I think they should have done the Academy Awards this year for movies from 1998. I think it's better to look at a movie and then step back and look at it again. I don't think that the awards necessarily get it right. I think they get it wrong more often than they get it right." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [MSNBC]
• "For me this thing happened so long ago and I just really wish people could move on from it. I don't live in the past. When I read headlines about me saying 'When she was 15 her mother shot her father' it's very sensational for me.It happened 18 years ago. Since then I've had a complete, full life and, my God, if I've been living the past 18 years in the past because of one event that happened in my life someone should put a gun to my head and put me out of my misery because that's a waste of my life. I am 33 and I have had a much bigger life than that one event." — Charlize Theron. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm probably a lot more boring than I used to be and more tired at night. You can't fake it. It's like when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. I think being a parent changes everything about you in really little ways and in ways that you don't really understand unless you have kids. It's kind of like describing a guitar chord - it's not really a simple thing to do." — Matt Damon, to Parade. [Mirror]
• "Before we were married, my wife and I used to play a game called Let's Go Get Lost. We'd be driving, and she would just tell me to turn. 'Turn here, turn here, turn here.' I'd say, 'Baby, I know this town too well. I can't get lost.' And she'd say, "Turn, turn, turn." Until we were out in Indian country, and they were shooting at us." — Tom Waits. [GQ]
• "I'm kind of frightened of the red carpet. I really am. And, you know, it gets worse. At one time, you could just come down the line, meet the fans, see the film and hopefully a good night is had by all. It's changed. You have people checking out your dress from the minute you step onto the carpet and then, you know, it's a hit or miss. That can be more frightening than the premiere." — Julia Roberts. [CBS News]
• "I'm currently in the writing process. I'm learning how to play music and write song, but they're comedy songs. Because I can't write music or play very well - actually, I have quite a bit of musical aptitude when it comes to the guitar, but I don't know how to write music - I'm collaborating with different artists who are giving me the music while I provide the lyrics. Two of the people I'm collaborating with will be performing with me at SXSW - Patty Griffin and Amanda Palmer [of the Dresden Dolls]. [The songs] are all pretty dirty. The titles are things like, 'I'm In Love With Someone Else So Fuck You' and 'Eat Shit and Die.'" — Margaret Cho, who is performing at SXSW… as a musician. [Time]

• The Gossip played an hour-long set at the Paris Fendi party. Beth Ditto stripped off the five-piece stage costume Lagerfeld made her until she was performing in a sequined bra and thong. [Telegraph]

• Chanel's show at the Grand Palais in Paris was an appropriately star-studded affair, with Freida Pinto, Kate Moss, Olga Kurylenko and current Karl-favorite Claudia Schiffer in the front row. The models — basically a supermodel round-up, including several of the designer's former muses, like Karen Elson and Angela Lindvall — walked through a maze-like set that Lagerfeld designed himself. (Lindvall said they rehearsed the choreography three times.) Asked how it was that he got into the maze himself for the finale, the Kaiser said, "That I don't know and it's a strange thing. It happens to me often early in the mornings. I get into the middle of mazes and come out of completely nowhere!" [FWD]
• Alexander McQueen has heard your talk of recession-friendly safe fashion, and he bites his thumb at you. "I think it's dangerous to play it safe because you will just get lost in the midst of cashmere twin sets," said the designer, whose show was a vicious-minded mash-up of iconic fashions, played out on a set whose centerpiece was a crumbling, blackened heap of his own old set props. "People don't want to see clothes. They want to see something that fuels the imagination." [NY Times]
• This is the kind of gross original concept with a high potential for backfire: when launching a new cologne, how about not throw a crowded party and only allow guests into a backroom, one by one, to smell the scent — on a live male model? "It's really starting to smell in there," muttered someone who would have preferred, oh, I don't know, tester bottles. [WWD]
• Page Six is reporting that Anna Wintour shook hands with PETA vice-president Dan Matthews at the Stella McCartney show in Paris. Sees unlikely, given PETA's extra-vocal protests this season — French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld's Balenciaga dress had its sleeve ripped off by PETA operatives, who presumably were trying to target her goat coat — and the animal-rights organization's own history with Wintour. (Once, PETA dumped an animal carcass on the editor's plate in a restaurant. Wintour calmly placed her napkin over it and asked to see the dessert menu.) But, strange things happen in fashion, so... [P6]
• The 80s are definitely back. Leighton Meester's first Reebok ad is out — and she's posing next to a boom box that looks like it takes about 19 D batteries. [Sassybella]
• Liskula Cohen, the former Vogue model suing Google in an attempt to force the company's Blogger service to reveal the identity of a user who posts scathing content about her, broke down in court when some of the offending posts were read into the record. The blog Skanks in NYC is entirely dedicated to smearing Cohen, alleging she has no soul, and calling her "desperate," a "ho," and a "skank" many times, and Cohen's aim is to pursue a defamation suit against the author, should he or she be revealed. The lawyer representing the anonymous site called the posts "youthful, jocular, slangy comments." [NYDN]
• That's Shalom Harlow, Eva Herzigova, and Vincent Gallo (yeah, wtf?) in the spring H&M ads. [Fabsugar]
• Katie Holmes told Glamour that she is currently in talks to start a children's clothing line with her friend and stylist Jeanne Yang. [Hollyscoop]
• Meanwhile, the Jonas brothers want the tween clothing market. [WWD]
• And is Heidi Klum thinking that grown women will buy Barbie-inspired duds? [The Cut]
• Christian-owned knockoff emporium Forever 21 sold an unauthorized t-shirt with the logo of punk band Minor Threat screen printed into a thicket of generic 80s imagery. Dischord Records, Minor Threat's label, objected — and in a surprise twist ending, the shirts have actually been pulled from store shelves. [Pitchfork]
• An Indonesian company that produces around 500,000 pairs of Adidas shoes every month has been sued by its main local creditors, the Bank of Negara Indonesia and a leather wholesaler, after an ongoing dispute over the shoe factory's unpaid bills. [UPI]
• After profits declined 45.1% in 2008, luxury Italian jeweler and perfumer Bulgari will cut jobs, close stores, and eliminate unprofitable product lines. [WWD]
• Eric Gaskins, a New York-based couturier whose wares have been worn by Salma Hayek and Tina Fey, among others, has been forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection after 22 years in business. Gaskins is one of the most prominent high-end African-American designers in the US. [Crain's]
• Net profits at Swatch fell 17.4% in 2008. [WWD]

• The first pictures of Lindsay Lohan's foray into cosmetics have been released: at left, the often-orange starlet shilling for a spray tan called Sevin Nyne. [People]

• Sojin Lee, formerly of online pioneers Net-a-porter.com, and Simon Fuller, the man who gave you the Spice Girls and Roland Mouret, are starting an internet fashion business together. [WWD]
• Times critic Cathy Horyn went to a Chanel party, found Olivier Zahm and Stefano Pilati and no champagne. So she had a Bud. [The Moment]
• "When I'm wearing a hoodie, it looks like I just threw a hoodie on. I'm wearing what I discovered and figured out is the best hoodie I can find. And I'll tell you, if you ever want to know the best hoodie, I know the best hoodie." Whatever you say, John Mayer. [FabSugar]
• Editors are picking designers instead of models for their covers lately. Diane von Furstenberg graced Purple (and the issue promptly sold out) last month. Perhaps noting their success, this month i-D has Miuccia Prada on the front. [Fashionista]
• In case you need to be reminded why models can make great cover choices (perhaps your name is Anna Wintour?), the Times' "The Moment" blog has this neat feature where you can slide your cursor over a photo of Kasia Struss or Jourdan Dunn to see how the makeup and hair looks at the shows come together. Latest additions: Jean Paul Gaultier and Dior. [The Moment]
• And, on balance, why they might not: "I'm not your cheesy girl that's going to dress up in a hokey outfit and say all the sound bites that you want me to say," says Erin Wasson. No, Erin, you're certainly not! [Daily Beast]
• Sean Avery's fashion friends came out to support him at his first Rangers game since that internship at Vogue. Even the guy who works the door at the Beatrice showed up. Who says this business doesn't foster loyal and real connections? [Observer]
• There are pictures of Roberto Cavalli's new Cavalli Pets dog clothing line. The line includes a satin trimmed bath robe. For your dog. And leopard-printed shearling jackets. For your dog. [The Cut]
• Roberto Cavalli also sells sex toys. The inimitable New York drag queen Lady Bunny mentioned them to Fashion Week Daily, although she does say they're kinda small. [Racked]
• Model blind item: "Whicih two veteran models got into a "full-on serious fistfight" in a Paris nightclub this Fashion Week? The fight was so démodé, Uncle Karl himself had to break it up." Invitations to name the offenders or improvise the Kaiser's dialogue in the comments. [Fashionista]
• Freida Pinto says the news she is going to be a face of Estée Lauder is "but a lovely rumor." [WWD]
• "Beauty, economy, and usefulness are the best rules for the well-dressed woman," said Depression-era American fashion designer Muriel King. It's sound advice for today. If you're in New York City, you'd do well to check out the new exhibit of King's work at the Museum at FIT. King was a painter who got into fashion when she became an illustrator for publications like Vogue and Women's Wear Daily — eventually she hired patternmakers and garment workers to turn her original sketches into reality. [Style.com]
• And laundry detergent is the new fashion must-have. Tim Gunn says so. (And we can all agree with lower drycleaning bills.) [WSJ]
• Although J. Crew recently instituted cost-cutting measures including layoffs, a wage freeze, and suspending company matching of 401(k) contributions, the retailer's fourth quarter losses still reached $13.5 million, because of weak sales. However, because analysts had expected even bigger losses, their stock price rose. [Crain's]
• Interestingly, they still have plans to open more stores. [WWD]
• Liz Claiborne CEO Bill McComb lives in New Jersey. His misfortune is lessened by the fact that his company pays $10,500 in monthly rent to maintain a New York apartment for his occasional overnight stays in the city. Liz Claiborne's revenues shrank 10% last year, as same-store sales at Claiborne-owned Juicy Couture, Lucky Brand, Kate Spade, and Mexx all dropped by over 12%. The company announced its plays to lay off 8% of its workforce in February. [Crain's]
• Charlotte Russe is offering itself up for sale. [Dealbook]
• Neiman Marcus's quarterly loss: $509.2 million. Sales in the three months ended January 31 fell by over 20%. [WSJ]
• Comparatively speaking, American Eagle's modest fourth quarter profit of $32.7 million is a relief, in that it's not a loss. Revenue fell 9% on a year ago, and the company says the results are disappointing overall. [The Street]
• That L'Oreal/eBay legal wrangle over the sale of counterfeit goods online has been delayed in the French courts. [WWD]
• In honor of Young Buck's announcement that his clothing line, David Brown, is no more, Complex magazine has a look back at the top ten failed rapper clothing lines, including Master P's No Limit Clothing, and Fat Joe's FJ560. [Complex]
• Who else but Heidi Klum drove the Barbie dream car to the Barbie dream house in Malibu. [FWD]

[Paris, March 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Paris, March 10. Image via Getty]

• Like everyone, Anna Wintour heard that rumor Nina Ricci was firing Olivier Theyskens. Her reaction? "How could you do this to me!" It's nice to know her concern rests with the possibly unemployed guy. [Blackbook]

• But does Cathy Horyn know something about that unconfirmed scuttlebutt we don't? The New York Times critic wrote on her blog that last week's Nina Ricci show "appeared to be Mr. Theyskens' swan song for the house," and that senior Louis Vuitton designer Peter Copping will replace the Belgian when his contract expires in October. [On The Runway]
• The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards will be at Lincoln Center's newly reopened Alice Tully Hall this year, breaking the tradition of using the New York Public Library and the Bryant Park Grill as venues. (This confirms the general upward-westerly trend in New York fashion: next season, all the shows will be at Lincoln Center instead of Bryant Park as well.) The awards, once again sponsored by Swarovski, will be given on June 15; nominations are due next week and the nominees will be announced on March 16. [WWD]
• The Wall Street Journal's fashion magazine has an excellent profile of LVMH head Bernard Arnault — otherwise known as the man who can make John Galliano say, meekly, "If you tell me so, sir." [WSJ]
• Aretha Franklin will part with her inauguration day hat. Although previously unsure if she could cede the fancy bit of millinery to a mere institution like the Smithsonian, she has announced that, indeed, that's exactly where it will go. After the period of its loan to the museum, Aretha's hat will be displayed permanently at Barack Obama's presidential library. [The Cut]
• Michelle Obama wore a shirt from Isaac Mizrahi's first — or, if you will, inaugural — collection for Liz Claiborne this week. It's expected to sell out, since wearing a shirt like Michelle Obama's will make you automatically as awesome as she is. [WWD]
• Even though neither the president nor the first lady wears fur, the inauguration caused a spike in D.C. fur sales in December and January, and an unusually high number of the people in the crowd were wearing items of fur. Since Obama's presidency began, a guy who works at the Kennedy Center coat check has seen "ridiculous" quantities of fur. People think this has to do with two things: the fact that the new president has brought so many Chicagoans to Washington, and Chicago is second only to New York City in fur sales, according to an industry group, and also the fact that African-American fur consumption is growing at a much faster rate than consumption of fur by whites. PETA doesn't like this very much. [WSJ]
• PETA, possibly noting the increase in fur on the runways this season, or possibly just riveted by the attention paid their assholery, is stepping up its protests at Paris fashion week. After creating a raucous crush of street harassment outside the Dior show, PETA protesters actually ripped the sleeve off French Vogue editor and regular fur wearer Carine Roitfeld's Balenciaga dress outside Jean Paul Gaultier. She was also wearing a lilac coat apparently made of goat fur; presumably that was the intended target. [Style.com]
• The animal rights organization is also launching a gruesome television commercial wherein Ricky Gervais, Pink, and Stella McCartney — who uses no leather or fur in any of her designs — speak as animals who've been skinned for the garment industry. [Telegraph]
• British journalist Jonathan Heaf tries to get to the bottom of the latest men's catwalk trend — leggings. So he calls up that guy from The Darkness, who tells him to "Step and thrust," and pulls on a pair of sparkly black Margiela leggings. Things seem to go well until his girlfriend tells him his pants hurt her eyes. [Guardian]
• The founder of Net-a-Porter.com, Natalie Massenet, is launching a new business. To be called TheOutnet.com, it'll sell out-of-season designer goods at a discount — but unlike sites like Gilt, it won't require a membership to shop. [Times of London]
• Liz Jones of the Daily Mail does not understand this person named "Agyness Deyn." In fact, Liz Jones thinks "Agyness Deyn" dresses rather strangely. Also, Liz Jones would like "Agyness Deyn" to get off her lawn. [Daily Mail]
• Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke has a new line of fitness wear, available online this week for $46-85. [People]
• It's confirmed: Freida Pinto is to be a new face of Estee Lauder. [Telegraph]
• And, finally an appropriate celebrity product endorsement! Lindsay Lohan is launching a fake tanning lotion. [WWD]
• Nicole Richie's long-planned House of Harlow jewelry line has debuted; Richie went to L.A. boutique Kitson to promote it in person. [Fabsugar]
• Christian Audigier says the rumored partnership with Madonna won't be a clothing line with Ed Hardy, but "a completely new project" with a new brand. I know I am on the edge of my seat. [WWD]
• In London, L'Oreal is suing eBay for allegedly fostering the trade of counterfeit cosmetics and beauty products, in what is seen as a test case for online retail and the enforcement of trade agreements. [Financial Times]
• Daphne Selfe, age 80, still works as a model for photographers like Nick Knight and Mario Testino, and books the occasional Dolce & Gabbana campaign to boot. She says she's only become more striking since her hair greyed. [Telegraph]
• Interior designer Jonathan Adler created a real-life Barbie's dream house, in — where else? — Malibu. [AP]

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou got married in Africa over the summer??? Well, it was a ceremony. But it's not necessarily legal in the U.S. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Holmes has to make weekly written confessions as part of her "commitment" to Scientology. "Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." [Daily Mail]
• Jolie-Pitt alert: After filming a few scenes for Salt in Washington DC, Angelina and the brood will hit New York tomorrow. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now that Amy Winehouse is rested and ready after a long vacay in St. Lucia, she says she's got writer's block. "I'm not feeling creative," she says. "I start things but I don't finish them. I know when stuff is rubbish." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: Amy Winehouse has been denied a US work visa and can't appear at Coachella next month. [Mirror]
• Britney Spears spent Saturday visiting sick kids at Miami's Children's Hospital. [People]
• Chris Brown has been hard at work, recording tracks for his new album. It's odd thinking about anyone buying it. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh, wait: Guess who is experiencing steady album sales? Chris Brown. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Rihanna is also focusing on music. [Yahoo News via E!, Extra]
• TMZ's Harvey Levin says the unseen Rihanna photos are worse than the one leaked: He calls them "horrific" and "monstrous." [Tennessee Guerilla Women]
• Chris Brown wants his plea to be to a misdemeanor — with no jail time. [TMZ]
• Why is Chris Brown up for a Kids' Choice Award? A Nickelodeon exec says he "was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category." [TMZ]
• Oprah to Rihanna: "He will hit you again." [NY Daily News]
• How do we feel about this: Ashlee Simpson landed a role on the new Melrose Place. [EW]
• Zanessa! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will get married in September, says this source whose reliability we question. Disney wedding? We've got dresses! [PopCrunch]
• Prince Harry was seen "laughing and joking" with Astrid Harbord, a friend of Kate Middleton's. This paper calls her "the new blonde." [Daily Mail]
• This piece is all about how Freida Pinto got cast in Slumdog Millionaire; she was a model and had an "edge" because she was "confident and articulate." [Hindustan Times]
• So you know how Michael Jackson's possessions were up for sale? The auction house catalogs have been published. See a painting of MJ in Henry the Eighth garb; a carousel horse given to him by Liz Taylor, and some sculptures, including one of two boys plating leapfrog. [Fox 411]
• One of Martha Stewart's dogs has gone to heaven: Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. [TMZ]
• The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon went on a bike ride around New York's East Village Friday. An eyewitness says it was "really uncool." [UPI]
• Speaking of cycling, Matt Damon was among 35,000 riders attempting a 68 mile bike trek in South Africa on Sunday. [Daily Express]
• Dancing With The Stars producers are downplaying the fact that they lost two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O'Dell — and hyping the announcement of their replacements, whose identities will be revealed tonight. Except don't we know that one is Holly Madison? [UPI]
• So maybe you knew that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — of She's All That, Prison Break, and various TV shows — has been dating John Cusack. Bet you didn't know that she's broke up with him because he won't marry her? [Star]
• You may have noticed this, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is trying to reposition himself. He's no longer just a former wrestler but into comedies and films for children. "Audiences, particularly kids, seem to love discovering that a guy this big and this good looking is actually very sweet and very funny," says his Race To Witch Mountain director. [NY Times]
• Macy Gray will appear as a guest performer/lecturer on the first day of a UCLA Extension course on the music business this spring. The course is run by Doors manager Jeffrey Jampolm who says: "Macy Gray is getting on the cutting edge of where music is going. She just made a new record that she financed herself. She owns it, and she's going to market it independently." [LA Times]
• Russell Brand is now in the music biz, managing a little-known singer-songwriter named Simon Kaye, who performs under the name Little Wonder. Apparently there's a record label bidding war to sign this guy, so prepare yourself. (Video of his latest song at the link.) [The Sun]
• There's a new DA and a new task force on the JonBenét Ramsey case, more than 12 years later. [People]
• Are Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar in a fast car to splitsville? [Hindustan Times]
• Hurley's rep does not deny rumors of a separation. [Telgraph]
• Here's a profile on Joan Allen, who stars in a Broadway play called Impressionism. [NY Times]
• Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss has been cast in a romcom called Did You Hear About The Morgans?; Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are already attached. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Julia Roberts will produce Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy about a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Joss Stone's CD has been delayed until July. [Daily Mail]
• Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be in an untitled Nancy Meyers flick; Her movie What Women Want was the most successful film ever directed by a woman. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mick Jagger, his girlfriend L'Wren Scott and his son Lucas went to the Getty Center in L.A., and because L'Wren held the nine-year-old kid's hand, this paper claims she "played mom." [Daily Mail]
• Sigh: Pixie Geldof was turned down by the art school she applied to. [Daily Mail]
• Jade Goody and her sons were christened in the hospital where she is being treated for terminal cancer. Jade may only have days to live. [Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley had a news conference, shook hands and posed for pictures over the weekend. While in jail. [TMZ]
• M.I.A. says she never named her baby Ickitt. So what is the little boy's name? [Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character." [Gatecrasher]
• "Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to be [pregnant for a while] because I'm going on tour. I wouldn't want to do that to the poor child." And: "At first I would just stay in and wouldn't go outside [because of the paparazzi], but I would start getting bored with the treadmill and I like to hike outside. I'm not going to let them rule my life. For me it's not about being thin. For me it's about being in shape and being healthy. I have to have stamina onstage or I lose my breath very easily." — Fergie on trying for a baby and getting in shape. [Mirror]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird – even my dog Norman gets recognized. I'm cutting him off – I've told him, no more Oprah appearances!" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I have never been a woman who dreams about getting married and having children and having that house in Connecticut. On the contrary, I've always gone with the flow. I enjoy the moment because life goes on while you try to make plans; it's better to make the most of every second. So I just try to live in the present." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I spent my time cross stitching. But I made it fun by stitching naughty words into handkerchiefs. There were long gaps between filming and I was bored, so it kept me occupied." — Miranda Richardson, on her hobby while filming The Young Victoria. [Daily Mail]
• "We have a similar sense of humor. Our list of priorities in our personal lives are not different. We are both happily married with families and lead a pretty normal, unaffected existence within in this odd universe of show business that we've both chosen to go into." — Julia Roberts on Duplicity costar Clive Owen. [People]
• "It was really funny seeing Baz Luhrmann and Rob [Pattinson] singing a David Bowie song. It was a talky one so they both could sort of talk to each other, and they were riffing back and forth. They were looking longingly into each other's eyes."— Kristen Stewart, who says she hopes there will be a movie based on the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "Look! [Suri] painted these canvas ballet slippers. Isn't she the best? She'll be 3 soon. It's such a good age. She was in musical school this year, but starts real school next year." — Katie Holmes. [Gatecrasher]
• "I actually worked as a kid at the Dallas Times Herald, because my dad had worked with [American journalist] Bill Moyers and then his son was working at the Times Herald and I got a job as a runner one summer. And as a kid it was really exciting to be around in the summertime doing that." — Owen Wilson, on his stint in journalism. [The Star]
• "I'm excited to have a girl. I was saying I didn't know if I could ever love someone more [than my son]. So I'm happy it's a girl. That way, I can love my boy like crazy, and I can love my girl like crazy. They'll feel even." — Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford. [Gatecrasher]
• "It's all different from what I was taught in gymnastics. I have to learn to let go and just be emotional." — Shawn Johnson, on Dancing With The Stars. [LA Times]
• "I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]
• "I have no desire [to have children]. I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids - because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." — Kelly Clarkson. [USA Today]
• "I don't think unique creativity can be put into a shape. What leaves a bad taste with trying to create pop stars overnight these days is that they seem to try to identify people according to a size or a shape and say what will work. It's like trying to create artists with a cookie cutter! I don't like how the judging works on The X Factor. Who are the judges to say what's good and what isn't? I hate the cruelty and humiliation of it. And when it's a kid or a teenager I can't bear them to be ripped to shreds. Does it really have to be so cruel?" — Annie Lennox. [Daily Express]