"The license plate on this Morris MIni may say '70, but we're living like it's the late '60s! Jack Kerouac's not dead yet! He'd love my $498 chain-strap bag!"

"No, really. We're doing this. We don't trust anyone over 30. Get out of the way, narc."

"My life line is longer than this romper."

"Remember the time we tripped on acid and hung out in a graveyard? Oh. Hmm. You're right. I saw that in Easy Rider. It looked like fun. Anyway, yeah. My outfit. The tee is $118; the jeans are $248; one necklace is $148; a bracelet is $138 and the belt is $68. Authentic, huh? Looking like a hippie takes a lot of bread."

Click "full size" to enlarge.

"Which way to the love-in? I brought extra skirts."

"Do you like my $148 bullet bracelet? It's like, a statement. About war. Which is heavy. As in not cool. But bullets are."

"Am I the first one at the sit-in, or did I get the date wrong?"

"All we are saying… Is give flea-market chic a chance."

"Sure, my romper is $180, and makes me look pre-pubescent, especially when worn with lacy ankle socks, but it's a free country, man. And this is Free People. So cut me some slack, Jack. I'm just trying to hang loose."

WE INTERRUPT THIS CATALOG TO DRAW ATTENTION TO THESE $78 SHORTS. DO NOT ADJUST YOUR COMPUTER. THEY ARE COTTON AND FRAYED AND $78. YOU MAY NOW RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BROWSING.

This is gorgeous. No snark. A pretty shot. A pretty top. A pretty girl. Fire Fly top, $88; Hammered Gold Earring, $158; Mising Piece Heart Necklace, $358. Golden California sunlight: Priceless. New York is cold. Brr.

"Remember that Aerosmith video with Liv and Alicia? We should reenact it!"
"When was this?"
"In like, 1994."
"First of all, I was 3. Second of all, this is supposed to be 1969."
"Hmm. So… no stripping and running into a lake then?"
"No."

"I got my first real six-string… Bought it at the five-and-dime… Played 'til my fingers bled… Was the summer of '69… Oh, wait. That's from the '80s, isn't it? Am I at the wrong photo shoot?"

"Someone told us this is how people dress in The Haight. My sweater is $168; her onesie is $315. Aren't we groovy?"

Click "full size" to enlarge.

Free People [Official Site]

Earlier: Anthropologie's Hazy Shade Of Winter
Fetchdog, Drs Fosters & Smith: Howliday Humiliation For Dogs & Cats
Dear Santa: Have You Seen The December J. Crew?
Barneys: Wooing With Witticisms & Wallet-Emptying Wares
Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Silver Belles & Butt Floss: Christmas At Frederick's Of Hollywood
Preclears On Your List? Shop The Scientology Holiday Catalog

Related: Free People Wishes You Hippie Holidays
Free People: Winning Us Over With Cute, Cuddly Critters
Free People's Tops Can Be Worn Many Ways, Several Of Them Stoopid
At Free People, Spring Has Sprung, And It's Hideous
Free People: More Overpriced Thrift Store Crap Masquerading As Vintage Chic
'Free People', August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes
Free People: Hideous Iron-Curtain Nostalgia Will Set You Back A Few Rubles
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot

Also: All previous catalog posts

This is how short hemlines are these days. Crotch-length, perfect for Team No Pants. It's a pretty skirt, even if the proportions in this ensemble are completely wonky.

"It's a dress!"
"Says who?"
"Calvin Klein Free People!"

There are eight things I don't understand about this sweater, none of which include the price of $128. The boots remind me of the Barbara Mandrell show. Whether that's good or bad, I can't decide.

"Rich hippie" is so weird. Honestly, if you are six years old, or if you are impoverished, it's okay to dress like this. But if you are not, you should not.

When you have a favorite pair of jeans that fit and feel perfect, and they start to disintegrate, it makes perfect sense to try and patch 'em up and keep 'em going as long as you can. And attempting to recreate that experience — of loved, lived-in denim — is understandable. But these "imported" pre-patched and faded "boyfriend" jeans at $128 remind me of a line in The Sweet Smell Of Success: "That's fish four days old. I'm not buying it!"

Your grandma (or someone else's) will be happy to make this for you. Do you really need FP's $128 version?

Just imagine showing up to the office party in this getup. Like yeah, 'sup bitches, vacay in Prague was great, it's just all my favorite spots are blowing up, so I'm off to Gdansk next, anyone got any weed?

(Oh, and by the by: Those shorts are $78.)

Tinkerbell's Goth cousin looks a little strung out. Believe it or not, this is called a "Shimmers Onesie," and it's $248.

Every now and then, FP tricks me into thinking I like its stuff. Sometimes it's the jewelry (I have a crush on this ring, but the price is obnoxious). Sometimes it's soft, pretty stuff like this…

…But then I turn the page and see fug head to toe. And I know this place is not for me.

I have a theory. Only skinny white people can dress like this. If you are thick or black or brown, you will look like a homeless vagrant. It's just a theory.

Apologies. Your hostess would like to excuse herself, as she has crapped her pants.

Earlier: Lilly's Kids: What's Christmas Without Reinforcing Gender Stereotypes?
Silver Belles & Butt Floss: Christmas At Frederick's Of Hollywood
Preclears On Your List? Shop The Scientology Holiday Catalog
Mackenzie: Hot, Steamy, Scrumptious Food Porn
Translating The J. Peterman Catalog (Again)

Free People: Winning Us Over With Cute, Cuddly Critters
Free People's Tops Can Be Worn Many Ways, Several Of Them Stoopid
At Free People, Spring Has Sprung, And It's Hideous
Free People: More Overpriced Thrift Store Crap Masquerading As Vintage Chic
'Free People', August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes
Free People: Hideous Iron-Curtain Nostalgia Will Set You Back A Few Rubles
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot

Related: All previous catalog posts

Check out the fierce feline's pose! The model? Meh. The kitten, seriously, should get signed by Ford. Almost enough to make you gloss right over the fact that the jacket is a whopping $528.

Admit it: You want a pink closet complete with seating and kittens. Okay, maybe you don't need the $25 legwarmers. But the kittens! Non-negotiable!

This moddle is all, "Hee hee, look at the feather, kitty!" And that cat has purr-fected the "bitch, plz" face.

Honey! Your $88 plaid shirt, $198 ripped jeans and $198 studded boots are scaring the widdle kitty!

Is it the headband, the open-crotch pose or the creepers that have shamed this pooch into turning her head away from the camera? All would be understandable reasons.

Not every page in the catalog has an animal on it, unfortunately, which means you're forced to contemplate whether anyone ever needs a solid brass plated rhodium necktie ($298).

Additionally, you've got to wonder if the this catalog is pushing "future Miss Havisham chic."

New motto: Less lace, more doggie face!

Seriously, though, are creepers coming back? I like 'em better on Teddy Boys and greasers, for what it's worth.

Also, when I think "desirable dress," I think "Joan Holloway," not "Julie Brown in Earth Girls Are Easy."

Hopefully this cute bitch got to eat some of that cake.

Earlier: Anthropologie: Sartorialist-ic "Real" People Impossibly Pretty, Well-Dressed
Urban Outfitters: Does This Make My Ass Look Wack?
Fall At J. Crew: Romantic Ruffles, Destroyed Jeans, Hideous Shoes

• In a move that smacks of Chanel-Audrey-Jean-Pierre, Dior announced it's making a 6 1/2 minute online perfume ad with Marion Cotillard and Olivier Dahan, who of course directed Cotillard in La Vie En Rose. [WWD]

• Richard Avedon's retrospective at the International Center of Photography, opening tomorrow, is the largest show of his fashion work yet mounted. Cathy Horyn spoke to curators Carole Squiers and Vince Aletti, plus friends like the New Yorker's Adam Gopnik, about the legendary lensman and his manifest influence on contemporary fashion photography. [NY Times]
• Alexa Chung, the British former model who recently moved stateside to present a new show for MTV, endears perhaps most of all by not pretending her job is difficult. "Presenting isn't hard. You're basically reading cards. I mean, how fucking difficult is that?" And then by sharing these words about the television industry: "I think the mistake a lot of TV channels make is that they assume kids are dumb when they're not. Middle-aged fat men [shouldn't] tell young people [what] to watch when they have no idea." [WWD]
• Aldo, the normally good relatively cheap shoe line, wants us to wear horrendous teal 'n' bronze 'n' snakeskin 'n' studs gladiator sandals this summer. [LA Times]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's fashion line, Elizabeth and James, gave People the exclusive on the release of their fall '09 lookbook. This marks a new uppermost notch on the continual rise of lookbooks into campaign territory. [People]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and her husband are reportedly considering moving into the Paris apartment formerly owned by Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé. [Daily Mail]
• The Agyness Deyn on Twitter is, says BFF Henry Holland, an imposter. "THIS IS FAKE PEOPLE!!!" typed the designer. "AGGY DOES KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A COMPUTER AND MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT EAT BREAKFAST!" [Grazia]
• C. Scott Hemphill and Jeannie Suk, law professors at Columbia and Harvard, respectively, give a good summary of the current status of U.S. copyright law in relation to clothing — which is that it offers designers not a whit of protection from knock-off artistes — and why it would be a good idea to change it. [XX]
• In related news: Trovata's case against Forever 21, which it accuses of copying six of its designs, has begun at a federal court in California. [WWD]
• Urban Outfitters is rolling out two new designer diffusion lines for summer: both Burberry and fellow British brand Pistol Panties are going to be selling bikinis at the American chain this summer. [Telegraph]
• Urban Outfitters' Philadelphia-based parent company just announced very disappointing earnings for the first quarter of this year. Same-store sales across the whole company dropped by 9.6%, and profits fell 28%, to $30.8 million. Free People was the biggest-losing brand, with sales at its stores slipping by 23%. Anthropologie's sales were down by 13%, and Urban Outfitters by 6%. The CEO, Glenn Senk, says his company is "well-positioned to show improvement over the next several quarters," in what is surely the understatement of the year. [The Street]
• Yesterday's flurry of rumors about the future of i-D magazine — Derek Blasberg Twittered from the Chanel resort show in Venice that the fashion monthly might have closed — the publishers have clarified that i-D will be bi-monthly as of this September. The current April issue will be on newsstands until then; the magazine will run more frequent online content instead. [Fashionologie]
• Another not-new piece of menswear news: Designers using foam batting, instead of perhaps down, as lofty insulation within garments. You know, because foam has structure. [WSJ]
• According to sources, Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy is to buy an almost 50% stake in the eco-conscious fashion line Edun, owned by Bono and wife Ali Hewson. Edun was founded in 2005 and manufactures its organic cotton goods in the third world, while paying workers fair wages. A cash infusion from LVMH would allow it to ramp up its advertising and exponentially expand its reach. [WSJ]
• Philip Lim, whose clothes — though still expensive — hit a price point well below that of many of his designer competitors, is anticipating a 15% growth in sales this year. Accordingly, he's planning to add three new lines to his label: swimwear, footwear, and lingerie. The first, his swim collection, will launch this summer, with three styles, two one-pieces and one bikini, priced at $175 each. Lingerie, for $65-$125, will be available at his Manhattan boutique from May 20. Footwear, at $290-$675, will hit stores this fall. And don't expect 6" heels with fiddly feathered doo-dads that might last twenty steps in their original condition. "Everyone's making crazy shoes," said Lim, "so we were like, ‘Let's do working shoes, but sophisticated and beautiful.'" [WWD]
• Maidenform's first quarter earnings declined by 0.8%. Although the brand experienced higher sales, its margins were hurt by aggressive discounting to move old stock. [WSJ]
• Kohl's profit for the quarter just ended fell slightly on last year, to $137 million, but still beat analysts' expectations. Sales rose during the same period by 0.4%. [Reuters]
• Hartmarx wants another six months to file for reorganization in bankruptcy court. [WWD]

• Amanda Lepore has a scent which is more art project than perfume — sold at a gallery for $950, the crystal bottle contains notes of steamed rice, mandarins, champagne, and cucumber. It's fermented. [NY Times]

• The first issue of Indian Harper's Bazaar is now available. It features actress Kareena Kapoor on the cover, and a limited number of the issues are also bedazzled with "Xilion crystalized — Swarovski elements," whatever those are. [Mag-Scene]
• Meanwhile, the March '09 issue of V, featuring Natalia Vodianova and Luke Grimes, has a glow-in-the-dark cover logo. [The Cut]
• Back at London fashion week, Sienna Miller threw a "raucous" party for the label she co-runs with her sister Savannah. Her entire street was reportedly clogged with guests and their cars, and she didn't even warn the neighbors. [Daily Mail]
• Niki Taylor gave birth to a daughter, named Ciel Taylor Lamar, with husband Burney Lamar yesterday, the day before her birthday. Aw. [People]
• Chanel Iman has been publicly confirmed as Bar Refaeli's co-host on the revived MTV House of Style. [Sassybella]
• UK Esquire named Prince Charles its best-dressed man. [Yahoo! News]
• Lou Doillon is opening a concept store in Paris's 11th arrondissement. So we can add that to the list of places where I'd shop if I had any money. [Fashionista]
• For a wrap-up of the Milan shows from Aquilano e Rimondi to Versace, you can't really go past Cathy Horyn's analysis for the Times. [NY Times]
• New York decided to count models of color on the runways in Milan — and the results, especially after such a promising season in New York, are depressing. Dozens of shows with all-white casts, and then a cameo from Jourdan Dunn, does not diversity make. [The Cut]
• And, just like that, it's on to Paris. [WWD]
• British bag-maker Mulberry's January sales were up 30% on last year's results — although this article doesn't specify whether those are same-store sales (sales from stores open one year or longer) or if that figure includes sales from stores that have opened in the past 12 months. (Retail expansion inevitably boosts sales but has huge overhead costs, so same-store sales are the measurement usually considered most reliable.) [UK Vogue]
• A Wall St. analyst upgraded Steve Madden to a "strong buy," arguing that the share price had hit a floor and that the company was well-positioned with no debt, and the stock price jumped 10% in one day's trading. [Crain's]
• Urban Outfitters' same-store sales at subsidiaries Anthropologie and Free People fell during the fourth quarter, and earnings for the company were down 24% as a result. Across the whole business, January sales rose 9%, but same-store sales actually fell by 1%. Urban Outfitters won't be opening as many stores as it had planned in 2009. [WWD]
• Jaclyn Smith, former Charlie's Angel and, given her K-Mart label was launched in 1985, grand-mommy of the celeb clothing line world, says her line is doing fine in the recession, but gives no specifics. [Reuters]
• Fashion directors at department stores are finding their roles are changing — or being eliminated altogether — during this economic downturn. Harper's Bazaar interviewed six of them, at top stores like Saks and Bergdorf, only to find that two had been fired by the time the issue went to print. Let's just all cross our fingers and hope Barneys keeps Simon Doonan in our lives. [NY Times]
• Clients of models aged under 16 in the Australian state of New South Wales will have to adhere to a code of practice set by the government, and obtain the permission of the state Children's Guardian, under new legislation under consideration. The government also wants to add a zero to the fine limit for clients found to skip either of the above steps. [News.com.au]

How much does it cost to look like a 1970s Floridian teenage runaway? Let's add: $98 for the vomitrocious top; $48 for the tank underneath; $18 for the headband; $178 for the "distressed" shorts; $78 for the Jesus sandals, and a whopping $128 for the bag, which had better be full of marijuana and pet rocks, at that price. (Total: $548)

The goggles… They do nothing! And the pants… They flatter no one!

Seriously, can you believe we live in a world where someone pays $88 for a top that looks like it survived an unfortunate Clorox incident?

Give this woman a raccoon, she's about to sing "Colors Of The Wind."

In case you hadn't noticed, headbands are mandatory for Spring 2009. But about that swimsuit: It is designed to give a woman a "happy face" tan, right? If areolae were eyes?

It would be even funnier if the fringe went down to the crotch and hung down between her legs.

At the risk of sounding like my mother, I don't understand kids these days. Jersey knit cropped harem pants are not right.

Full-length harem pants are also very vexing. What's next? Some kind of horrifying harem jumpsuit?

…And I'm out.


Earlier: Free People: More Overpriced Thrift Store Crap Masquerading As Vintage Chic
'Free People', August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes
Free People: Hideous Iron-Curtain Nostalgia Will Set You Back A Few Rubles
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot

Glamour, September 2008. Shot by Koto Bolofo

Bazaar, September 2008. Shot by Douglas Friedman.

We The Free, October 2008.

Vogue, November 2008, shot by Mario Testino.

• Less than a month until the election, folks, and it's getting really ugly.
• John McCain sounding like a total loon during the debates, calling Obama "That One": ugly.
• Illogical republican strategists yelling at Newsweek for putting a (gasp!) un-retouched photo of Sarah Palin on the cover: ugly!
• Nikki Blonsky kicking Bianca Golden's mom in the vagina at an airport: ugly!
• At least we have the unarguably awesome Sarah Vowell and Donna Brazile to guide us through the ugliness.
• Though they can't really fix the ugly in this mess of the economy... or this Free People catalog.

• Questions about pelvic exams? We're at your cervix.
• Speaking of pelvic exploration, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist has an endearing and accurate depiction of teen sex.
• Thank jebus it's the weekend. So kick back with a career romance like the young modern you are, and have a fantastic 48 hours with Hortense!

What's ennui selling for these days? Well, when it comes in the form of a cotton/polyester "girlfriend jersey" that seems like it ought to be free as a hand-me-down from your cousin, the answer is $128.

The studded vintage combat boots are $388, which just seems ridiculous, but I guess people want their shoes broken in for them. The "Arizona Eagle" necklace and the "Alaska Eagle" necklace are both "imported." Haha.

I don't know, I just can't get with these "artsy" printed T-shirts at $78 each. I can't decide if they are more hideous when illustrated or when worn with suspenders. I mean $158 bridle leather braces. Sorry.

All of these bags, which look like yard sale rejects, are over $150.

Ugh. Katie Holmes! See what ye hath wrought? I'm sure some of you are psyched about this boyfriend jean trend but I predict bad things for myself and the large-thighed like me.

Dress, $128; belt,$128, splattered dots on the page that make me think of germs and toxic mold: Priceless.

Okay, so remember the boat on dry land trend? Finally, someone's up the creek without a paddle.

I love Chucks. I have lots of Chucks. But when Chucks are sold "vintage" and "studded" and for $168, they're over, right? Right?

Free People [Official Site]

Earlier: Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!
Free People: Hideous Iron-Curtain Nostalgia Will Set You Back A Few Rubles
Free People, August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot
Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What's The Difference?

Nylon positions itself as edgy and fashionable. Are we to assume that taking advantage of the help is all the rage? It's like, "OMG, I was so bored I played gin with the maid. "Mimi continues:

We are not meant to consider her story. (And I’m made uncomfortable by my own attempt to "give" her an interior life.) Instead, the woman of color in her drab housekeeper’s uniform is simply another part of the furnishing in this bland motel room. She is banished as mere and muted background, the better to illuminate Ditto’s extraordinary excess of shine and glamor.

The thing about using people of color as props or background is that it's not only offensive, it is so damn old. Colonialism, slavery, movies in which the maid, porter or chambermaid has no lines — we've seen it all a million times. The lady of leisure as compared to the hard-working woman. Haven't we made any progress? How come no one cares when a company like Free People shoots in India using a blonde as the star and relegating cows, camels, elephants and indigenous schoolchildren to props or background? By using a non-white person as a backdrop against which the white person is supposed to shine, a photographer creates a world in which one person has more value than another. Clearly, the paid model (or, in Nylon's case, the celebrity) is the "star," but if you can only see her light by diminishing those around her, how bright can it be?

Background Color [Racialicious]

Earlier: Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot

Fall is coming! Time to hunker down in your non-existent off-the-grid cottage and figure out a way to eat when you've spent all your cash on clothes!
We The Free bomber jacket, $248; Wild At Heart dress, $228; Barolo buckle boot, $498.

Ew. Really, there's not much more to say. I'm tempted to write something about the way impoverished (non-Western?) people wear items of clothing and put certain ensembles together in an effort to just be clothed and not in a fashion-conscious way; and we shouldn't romanticize paupers; how it is important to remember that new, unworn clothing for style purposes is a privilege not everyone on the globe is lucky to know, but really, when it comes right down to it, "Ew" is a more appropriate statement to make in this particular situation.

You have to wonder if the woman on the right knew what she was getting herself into. Was she paid? Is she a model now? Ah well, this catalog loves using people as accessories.

Looks like someone stood on the breadline and actually got bread! The difference between dressing like a Hans Christan Anderson fairy tale and living one is that the Little Match Girl could never have afforded those $498 boots. By the by, you can get a first-edition HCA book for about the same price.

Wow, schoolgirl-gone-wild. How innovative. And expensive!
Buckled up menswear dress, $148; pleated skirt dropwaist skirt, $88; diamond pointelle over the knee socks, $24.

While mixing patterns can be bold and beautiful, this combination is annoying and jarring to the eye. Plus! Does this look like a $500 ensemble to you? It's $456 not including the tights or the boots.
Road to discovery top, $68; pleated camp skirt, $98; dripping knit scarf, $78; ribbed surprise over the knee socks, $24; Scouts charm necklace, $188.

Attention people who hate skinny jeans: Look at what is coming down the pipe. Are you happy now?

These "rugged herringbone pants" are $98, but the unflattering crotch and thigh area is free with your purchase.

How much for the couch?

Really? Seriously? Dear Free People: Your "vision" for fall makes my eyes hurt.

[Free People]

Earlier: Anthropologie "Vignettes": Forcing Us To Look Forward To Fall
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot
Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!

Pretty sure my mom had this entire outfit in the '70s. Except at a much lower price point. The tank is $38, the jeans are $198 and one of those necklaces is $268. These days, to dress like a hippie you need to be a yuppie.

I once made a "scarf" like this. I was five, and we wore working in tempera paint. I threw it away after I was done with my real artwork.

This "Tibetan Festival Dress" was "imported." I looked on the website but it wouldn't tell me what I really want to know: Was it made in China?

Dammit. I love the feathers in her hair.

These "beach totes" are $98 dollars here, or free if you go rifling through your great Aunt who dresses like Mrs. Roper's closet.

Some of the styling in this catalog is straightup crazytown. Over on the top left? Those maybe-I'm-pregnant-maybe-I'm-not layers? Thanks, but no thanks.

Everything looks good on the beach. Try wearing this on a busy city street. I mean, a $168 dress that is so bare it basically requires a cami underneath? And, frankly, she could use some pants. Shorts, at least.

The choker on the left is $398. No, I don't know why.

Maybe I don't "get it." But she looks awkward and thick and she's a model for chrissakes. Also, this outfit looks like laundry-day desperation. But between the two $48 tunics, the $128 skirt and the $354 worth of necklaces she is wearing, clearly she pays someone else to wash her clothes.

[Free People]

Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What's The Difference?
Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot

To see the answers, use your mouse to highlight the hidden text next to the "A:"

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Free People

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Anthropologie

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Urban Outfitters

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Urban Outfitters

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Anthropologie

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Urban Outfitters

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Anthropologie

Q: Free People, Urban Outfitters or Anthropologie?
A: Free People

Q: Free People, Urban Outiffters or Anthropologie?
A: Free People

Q: Free People, Urban Outiffters or Anthropologie?
A: Anthropologie

How did you do?

Earlier: Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot
Urban Outfitters: Sequins, High-Waisted Trousers & The Return Of The Miserable Model
The New Urban Outfitters: I Want To Sell You This Skirt But My Dog Just Died
Anthropologie "Giving": We Love To Hate & Hate To Love It
Please Do Not Look The Anthropologie Model In The Eye
'Free People', August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes

• Love was in the air this week, especially for these gorillas who were doing it missionary. From now on, missionary sex will be referred to as "gorilla style."
  
• Maybe they should have bought condoms first, like the Golden Girls did. That Zbornak is always prepared!
  
• Another old broad, Jane Fonda, said cunt on the Today show.
  
• We pondered polyamory, which seems like something Jane would have been into in the 70s.
  
• Mariah Carey = Hello Kitty + Einstein. Think about it.
  
• Our favorite animated bleeding heart, Lisa Simpson, choo-choo-chooses Ralph Wiggum.
  
• Also involving choo-choos: the Darjeeling Limited-esque Free People catalog.
  
• Obama's campaign is like a runaway train! Hop on it!
  
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond inspired fantasies of dripping breeches.
  

• Butterfish gives a whole new meaning to dripping breeches.
  
• So watch out for anal leakage, get your rocks off, and watch some Cosby reruns. It's Friday!

So yeah, it's kind of like Darjeeling Limited 2: Electric Booglaloo, if Wes Anderson wanted to do such a thing.
(Candy stripe corset top, $78; racerback layering cami, $38; candy drop necklace, $178)

Hey, is she rocking a leather purse while standing next to a sacred cow?
(We The Free thank you tee, $68; hues of hibiscus skirt, $88; studded leather Caleesta wallet, $58)

Ooh, brown is totes the new black. Brown people, that is.
(We The Free cardigan, $98; jeweled lattice dress, $128; lucky #7 necklace, $88; Magdalene platforms, $228)

Fruit stripes babydoll, $88; tangled chains necklace, $398; candy shop bangle, $48; camels, no price listed. Like I always say, they never have the price of the stuff you really want.

Yulia is 19 and was born in St. Petersberg, Russia. But she lives in London. And looks 15.
(Paisley petals wrap bikini, $188; Elsa's aviators, $38; metallic sail tote, $198)

Drinking tea in a swimsuit seems positively colonial, doesn't it? But her necklace is awesome. Sterling silver boxing gloves! Want.
(Dots and stripes hipster bikini, $128; mirror mirror necklace, $168; boxing gloves lariet [sic], $398)

Confession: I got so worked up over Yulia's friendcessory, I ripped the page. But seriously: Was he paid as a model? Did he sign a release? Is he the Johnny Depp of Jaipur? Puckered stripes bralette, $32; color dip gauze headband, $18; gauze carnival scarf, $48; distressed braid belt, $188; population of people in India living below the government-specified poverty threshold of $0.40 per day: 27%.

[Free People]
[Free People Blog]

Earlier: 'Free People', August 2007: Luxuriating Lolitas and $400 Shoes

Seriously, how old is this girl? Do you feel uncomfortable thinking about what she is wearing? (hoodie, $108; necklace, $48)

How about now? (crew shirt, $48; panties, $18; socks, $28)

And the part of Fiona Apple will be played by...

(dress, $128; necklace, $128; tights, $38; boots $378)

Oh, look. A half-naked, face-down teenage girl! And $400 shoes.

(tights, $38; shoes, $398)

The part of NYC socialite Arden Wohl will be played by...

(coat, $168; gray burnout long sleeved shirt, $48; socks, $28; headband, $28; shoes, $368)

This looks like a 70s soft -focus Playboy shoot. Uh, not that we've seen one.

(fringe duster, $148; shoes, $368)

What the hell. Why do the accessories cost so much more than the clothes? We like this necklace, but not enough to pay for it.

(tunic, $98; padlock necklace, $368)

She saw a lot of Philadelphia during her stay, including a visit to Franklin Fountain on Market St. She loved the egg cream!

Also, um, there really aren't any factories in Hong Kong, so we're thinking Kit maybe works in "sourcing" or "development design" and is not actually a factory worker. Sayin'.

Kit Yee [Free People Blog]