Fred is really fashion-forward this season, with metallics and retro-looking bra and panty sets. (We're ignoring that lace monstrosity inset, mmkay?

So much silver! Pretty classy, considering.

The color here is called "Moonbeam." Heh. Moon. We haven't even gotten to the ass-centric part yet.

This would be a good outfit to wash dishes or pay bills in. I mean, it's going to lift your spirits! And your tits.

Has it ever occurred to you that "babydoll" is kind of a weird word to use when talking about lingerie? Empire waists and fluttery, ruffled chemises are fun, but let's leave Lolita, Baby Spice, Caroll Baker and other thoughts of sexualization of children out of it.

Am I turning into a prude? The more see-through it is, the less I like it.

Wait! I think I can get behind that flirty half-slip on the far right. Heh. Get behind.

If you're going to be riding in a one-horse open sleigh, you're going to need a bit more coverage. Especially with H, the teddy on the bottom left. A person could get frostbite in places you really don't want frostbite.

Mean Girls flashbacks, anyone? I enjoyed KG and the Power of 3.

Dear Santa,
If someone brings me a maribou-nipple thingie with "Jingle Bell Crotchless Boy Shorts," I will be sad…

…And I don't want a bow on my business, either.
Love,
Me.

Re: That woman on the far left. You'd be laughing, too, if you had a Fraggle in your cleavage.

This panty supposedly has a "low back." But isn't it so much more than that? Seems like you could go to the doctor's office and get a Malaria shot without even taking your undies off.

Here we go: Butt bows, butt laces, butt butterflies.

And! Special for 2009! Limited Edition! Rhinestones! In your butt!

No, really: Right up in there. Ouch.

Still, I can't hate on this catalog, because they carry plus sizes, some of the bras are quite lovely, and the retro -ish stuff is actually pretty! And some bras come in sizes up to 42F.

Just stay away from the cheeky crack charms. You'd better watch out. You'd better not try.

Earlier: Frederick's Of Hollywood's Marketing Techniques Haven't Changed Much In 45 Years
Frederick's Of Hollywood Has A Heart-On For Valentine's Day
Frederick's Of Hollywood: Not As Slutty As You Might Think! (But Still Pretty Slutty)

Click here for all previous catalog posts.

The movie How To Marry A Millionaire — starring Marilyn Monroe, Betty Grable and Lauren Bacall — was released in 1953. Afterward, a TV series starring Barbara Eden ran for two years. And ten years later, the FOH catalog promised shoppers could "Get That Marry-A-Millionaire Look."

The "look" was all about an hourglass shape: Nipped waist; exaggerated hips and bust. And the wording emphasized that these ensembles were not about how they made you feel, but how another person would feel seeing you in them. For example:

Here, the shoes are not marketed as cool, chic, stylish or indulgent. They're "ultra high," for "shaplier legs" and called "attention getters."

"Provocative Pastels." Clearly, the person wearing the garments is not the one being provoked.

Some clothes are advertised as being luxurious, or inexpensive, or fun — these underthings have work to do:

…And their mission is to "captivate."


Though styles have changed, Frederick's still uses this kind of language — this is from a 2008 catalog:


"Seduction" is the goal — not comfort, or your feelings, as a woman. Unless your feelings are: snag that man. Please that man. Wear what he likes. Maybe even do what he likes? After all, Frederick's sells this:

Even if a woman has fun dressing up, feels empowered when she "captivates" or "seduces," isn't it interesting that the garments are overtly advertised as not really for her?


Retroslutty: 1964 Frederick's of Hollywood Catalog [Copyranter]
Earlier: Frederick's Of Hollywood: Not As Slutty As You Might Think! (But Still Pretty Slutty)
Frederick's Of Hollywood Has A Heart-On For Valentine's Day

• Before digesting the latest round of layoffs, garment worker intimidation, stupidly expensive luxury crap, and magazine turmoil, say a hearty Good mornin' to David Beckham in his fancy new Armani underwear ad. Hello David. [People]

• Fans crowded Oxford St. in London to get a glimpse of Beckham. He was making a promotional appearance at Selfridges to unveil a billboard of the new ad. [Sky]
• Glenn O'Brien, who recently left the troubled Interview magazine, says he just couldn't take it anymore. "It's like a Greek tragedy. Like watching a company going insane, instead of a person," said the media veteran. He also admitted he's not even on speaking terms with his former editorial co-director, Fabien Baron. When Baron was fired five months ago, O'Brien took over his job. And now that O'Brien is gone, Baron is back in. Meanwhile, Brant Publications owes freelancers and photographers (including such names as Inez & Vinoodh) for work dating back to last August. [FWD]
• Unions say the economy is making conditions worse for garment workers worldwide. Workers face unfair dismissal, the threat of relocation, abuse, long hours, and even worse pay. In the countries with the largest apparel industries, like China and Bangladesh, workers do not have the right to unionize or strike for better conditions. Seventy-six trade unionists were killed around the world last year, and 49 of those were in Columbia. [WWD]
• Lauren Bush has a new "FEED" bag in aid of the UN's World Food Program. This one is hand-beaded over the course of a day and a half by women from a Kenyan school for the deaf. In exchange, $100 of the $195 purchase price goes to feed two Kenyan school children for a year. [WWD]
• In other expensive bag news, Takashi Murakami released an updated version of his 2003 Louis Vuitton ad. The little girl he animated back then is all grown up, and, get this, still loves Louis Vuitton! [Racked]
• For the 2009 Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards on Monday, host Tracey Ullman will wear: a dress by Claire McCardell, a dress by Donna Karan (whom she recently lampooned), and a dress by Doo-Ri Chung, who wrote her Parsons thesis on McCardell. And the ouroboros of fashion is complete. [WWD]
• Natalia Vodianova will be the guest designer for Lutz & Patmos' pre-Spring line. [WWD]
• Ben Sherman is discontinuing its children's line, because, said chairman J. Hicks Lanier, "In this environment, we didn't have the luxury of ‘fun and cute' without the financial reward." It's a cold, cold economic reality that separates a child from his stripy t-shirt and mini suspenders. Also gone will be the men's and women's footwear lines. [WWD]
• Remember how Sean John went online looking for regular guys to model in its fall campaign? They found two hot dudes, and bookended them around a male model anyway. [WWD]
• Some luxury companies are pulling out all the stops to reach that tiny slice of the population that can still afford their wares. Hermès, whose overall sales rose 3.2%, to $603 million, and whose leather goods division grew 21.7% in the first quarter of this year, is increasing its annual marketing budget by nearly 10%, but two thirds of that $141 million will not be spent on advertising. Instead, the brand is pushing marketing events that garner publicity and make its best customers feel special — like extra trunk shows and store opening parties. Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy says its putting more of its marketing budget online, which explains the online-only Marion Cotillard series of film clips for Dior. [Reuters]
• The above moves aside, most experts are not expecting the high-end retail market to make its recovery any time soon. May same-store sales were typically dismal across most stores — Saks Fifth Avenue was down 26.2%, Nordstrom fell 13.1% — and luxury spending is falling faster than other retail spending. Some analysts say a full recovery may not happen until 2012. [TS]
• The C.E.O. of Liz Claiborne said the words "the new normal." [Reuters]
• Frederick's of Hollywood isn't doing so well, either. Maybe offerings like this are part of the problem? [WWD]
• Gap is also investing in online retail — it's adding 50 labels to Piperlime. Fifty Old Navy stores across the country are also due for a redesign, presumably to make them less like dingy warehouses. Old Navy has seen an increase in custom because of the recession. Its same-store sales for the first quarter of this year were only down 3%, compared with 18% a year ago. Still a ways to go, then. [TS]
• The judge overseeing the Filene's Basement bankruptcy has ordered that the auction for the company be re-opened. An affiliate of Men's Wearhouse won the nine-hour auction, bidding $67 million for Filene's trading name, inventory, 17-20 stores, and an all-important super-cheap 15-year lease for its downtown Boston flagship — but two other bidders complained that the proceedings were "a sham" because Men's Wearhouse didn't follow court-ordered auction procedures. The judge agreed, and there is to be a new auction today. [BH]

Nothing says "let's get it on" like a Tickle-Me Elmo-esque babydoll.

While the Heartbreaker undies appear to begin a full eight inches below the navel, the ruffled boy shorts are actually pretty cute. Note: Do not wear under jeans unless you want people to think you have flesh-eating worms living in your pelvis.

The halter bra at left is paired with a "skong," which is not a reclusive Australian bird but a skirt with a thong attached. Also, none of this is super-sleazy! Frederick's isn't all crotchless panties and cupless bras, you know.

Here's some more pretty stuff with hearts on it. The corset is especially lovely.

…And here's the not-so-pretty stuff. A see-through apron? Really? As for the "heartbreaker open cup bralette," those of use whose cups runneth over can only imagine the kind of folly that would be trying one on. Oh, and look: Another "skong."

Guess what? This red "notorious heart lace teddy" comes with a snap crotch. Good times. As for the satin heart back g-string, kudos to Fred for offering it in plus sizes. The crotchless panty below? Let's not talk about it.

Back seam thigh highs with little hearts? Actually quite sweet.

More heart-shaped nipple covers. Love is never having to say "I'm sorry, but I like playing hide-the-areolas."

LOL! This never ceases to amuse. Do men still really fantasize about a woman who will blow them and then vacuum? And do women really indulge them by dressing like housekeepers?

Oooh, the ubiquitous bandage dress hath spawned lingerie. Is Kim Kardashian to blame?

Ow.

Frederick's Of Hollywood [Official Site]
Earlier: Frederick's Of Hollywood: Not As Slutty As You Might Think! (But Still Pretty Slutty)

• Now the face of Versace menswear, Patrick Dempsey has started referring to Donatella Versace as his "Italian mother." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Model Erin O'Connor musing on the end of another fashion season: "...yes I'm howling, oh how woeful I was when the mini cab rocked up early Sunday morning to collect the regal attire, literally stripped from my back to be sent back to each designer. Kind enough to donate for the week I hear you mutter? Jees, and Cinderella thought she had it bad? Hark, where for art thou my four-door Sports Series Maseratti? Not even a pumpkin post-shows for this lowly creature, just her own two spindly legs to get her from A to B..." [Vogue UK]
  
• The Herve Leger dress that Victoria Beckham wore to the Marc Jacobs show last season is now on sale at Intermix. Er, maybe not? So many people tried to buy it online that the Intermix website crashed. [Fashionista]

• Why was this not a challenge on Project Runway this season? Clothing made from plastic bags is the new recycling. [Guardian UK]
• Alessandra Facchinetti debut collection for the Valentino label: Hitting the runway on Thursday! [FT]
• Fashion folk: Mainly computer illiterate. [IHT]
• Jeffrey Kalinsky of luxe boutique Jeffrey, is giving Nordstrom a "makeover." Jeffrey, if you have never had the distinct pleasure of being abused there, is known for its infamously bitchy salespeople. [WSJ]
• Yves Saint Laurent's Stefano Pilati wants shoppers to feel like they've been taking opium when visiting the new YSL store in Paris. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Oscar de la Renta has just inked two licensing deal for handbags and small leather goods, finding more and more ways to put a little O in your life. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Escada's got a new CEO and he's ready to whore out the company by focusing on money-making world of accessories. Didn't we just read like fifty-thousand stories on the death of the It Bag? [WWD, sub req'd]
• I will mock my boyfriend ruthlessly if he ever wears a robe like this. [Chic Report]
• Recession? What recession? Women's apparel prices areon the rise. [IHT]

OK, this doesn't prove anything. This is indeed slutty. It's like, once you've wrapped your mind around the front, then the back threatens your sanity. Does it come with scissors? Because that appears to be the only way to get out of it.




This is more to the point: Not so bad! As far as these things go. It's flirty, but not overtly depraved. Not that there's anything wrong with that.




Ditto. What she said.




Um, what? Why wear underwear at all? Arse-trinket alert!




But see? They actually have sweet things! It's not all two-bit Vegas hooker! Nothing against two-bit Vegas hookers, but the pink is awesome. Wait, pink is awesome? I can't believe I just typed that. Filthy. Let's move on.




One thing FOH has going for it is that unlike Vicky's Secret, they carry plus sizes in the lingerie and up to size 42F in the bras. It's hard to say if this is because they're hoping to lure implant-wielding Playmates, plus-size ladies, or both. But as chicks with big racks know, it's tough to find a supportive foundation garment in a color other than black or white. Cups runneth over? Freddy's ready for ya.




See? Their copy reads "Sexy At Every Size." Victoria's Secret would never say that — they're too busy combing the streets of São Paolo for the next uber-thin Brazilian bombshell.




Well it swings right back to sorta slutty. These are supposed to "make Valentine's day notorious." No idea why her boobs look so digitally illustrated — maybe because they are?




"Hey, hon. You missed a spot."
God, I love that this comes in plus size.




Will someone please explain why it's "sexy" for a woman to be trussed up like a leg of lamb? Please?




Crotchless panties, presented to you without comment. You're welcome.




Frederick's Of Hollywood: For the best prom night ever.

Related: Victoria's Secret's "Last Minute Gifts": Whose Fantasy Is This, Anyway?
Earlier: Pottery Barn, Anthropologie & West Elm: Bedding Porn For Sleepyheads
Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did
Brooks Brothers: This Christmas, WASPs Are Mad For Plaid

• Designer Vivienne Westwood is switching party allegiances from the (liberal) Labour to the (conservative) Tory, and will even be the keynote speaker at her new political party's Christmas party. Warns Westwood: "I'm going to take the opportunity to put them right on a few things. They're not going to get what they bargained for." [Vogue UK]
  
• "Russians have started to learn that less bling is better, that more sophistication is in. The women here learn this slower than the rest of world, but they're learning for sure." Donatella Versace, folks. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Heidi Montag of The Hills is designing clothing line for the label Anchor Blue. See, it happened in one of those brainstorming sessions where an Anchor Blue executive was like, "Who can we get that would actually be less qualified to design a clothing line than L.C. from The Hills?" [Sassybella]
  
• Cory Kennedy is the new face of Urban Decay. Which is kind of cute, because she's the age we were when we thought Urban Decay — the nail polish, the societal phenomenon, etc.— were cool. [Fashionista]

• B.U.M. Equipment is back. And starting a line called B.U.M. Organics. Way to beat the old, played-out, trendhumping image that killed your clothing line in the eighties and stay true to your authentic brand identity, guys! [WWD, sub req'd]
• OMG: Elle Macpherson and Bryan Adams are dating! Dude, we can't even remember the last time we heard about Bryan Adams. [Daily Mail UK]
• Model Erin O'Connor is all totally swoony for Antonio Banderas. [Daily Express]
• First New York, then the Blue States! After TopShop opens in Manhattan in September, the company plans to open additional locations on both coasts. [MediaPost]
• Model Hana Soukupova on when she "first felt beautiful": "I guess when I went into fashion. You know, I'm from a small town in Czech Republic, and I never thought I could do this, you know?" Profound. [BellaSugar]
• Hillary Clinton: Likes hats! [WWD, 2nd item]
• Badgley Mischka: Dressing the Alvin Ailey company's principal dancers! [WWD, 3rd item]
• Would you like a Vivienne Tam-designed MP3 player? [Fashion Week Daily]

• The battle between Stella McCartney and Heather Mills rages on regarding Heather's divorce from Stella's dad Paul! And even though we declared ourselves Team Stella for this one, we're a little wary about her latest overture: A necklace baring a single leg. Perhaps in nasty homage to her prosthetic-using former-stepmum? Ouch. [NYP]
  
• You know how the Armani collections shown in September weren't, er, all that good? (Hello, I Dream of Jeannie pants!) Well, it seems like Mr. Armani gets that: "I want to fine-tune the organization behind the company. I offer too many choices, and variations of the same outfit. I must focus and edit, offering narrower guidelines." [Vogue UK]
  
• Ralph Lauren has poached the associate articles editor of Departures — OMG! the associate articles editor of an in-flight magazine! — to serve as editorial director for some new editorial venture that will no doubt be full of really hard-hitting, informative content. [WWD, 2nd item]

• Luxury brand conglomerate LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton has finally gotten its hands on the French newspaper Les Echoes, which was owned by the same parent company as the Financial Times.[Vogue UK]
• The Sundance Channel will air fashion-related programming during every night of next Spring' Fall 2008 New York Fashion Week they'll be airing fashion-related programming and documentaries. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sorry, can't help it: We love Target! They've commissioned Jeff Koons, Cindy Sherman, Elizabeth Peyton, and Kehinde Wiley to design beach towels which will retail for $50, the proceeds benefiting charity. All because Target believes that art should be for the people blah blah we don't care we love Target! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Australian model Gemma Ward turned 20 on Saturday. And had a "Jungle Fever"-themed birthday party. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Do not put Swarovski crystals on your ass. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Dita von Teese for Frederick's of Hollywood just looks trashy. We know, we know... Shocking. But we had hoped Dita could transcend marabou trim. [FabSugar]
• We're doubtful of a panty that claims to be line-less. [FabSugar]

• Meet Sienna Miller and her sister Savannah's first clothing collection, "Anthology of Rebellion." We would like to rebel against its ugliness. Savannah's the taller one on the right, though apparently Sienna got better tits (Sienna Miller has tits?) The collection will not be about boho or foho or whatever it is Sienna Miller "pioneered" but timeless classics blah, blah, blah... [Telegraph]
  
• Dita Von Teese + Frederick's of Hollywood = How come no one thought of this before? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Ooh! Secret! Philip Lim, maybe designing trench coats for Coach? It's always so exciting when an established corporate brand employs a much-hyped brand name to "design" a classic, impossible-to-fuck-up garment like a trench coat. [WWD, 1st item]

• Following Louis Vuitton's lead, Prada is now also ending its corporate sponsorship of the America's Cup yachting races. We have never even heard of America's Cup before this story, so we're thinking they did the right thing. After all, they're going to need to put all their dollars to hard use to sell this fall's knee socks. [WWD, sub req'd]
• His and hers Beckham fragrances? Spoiler alert: both smell like "drag queen." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Playboy centerfolds: Don't always wear underwear! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Face o' Prada Irina K was discovered by Liv Tyler in a restaurant in Moscow, with the profound pick-up line: "Hey — are you a model?" Whoah. [Vogue UK]
• Barneys New York is one hot piece of ass: Private Equity firms Istithmar has raised its bid for the department store by $75 million to stay in the game against now-rival Japan's Fast Retailing, bringing bidding almost to a cool billion dollars. [WSJ]
• Could Kate Moss be a curse? Since her apparel line with Topshop, two of the company's top execs have departed. [Guardian]
• Sneakers with room for erasable graffiti? Gangsta! [NYTimes]