You guys. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, you guys. Last night Rihanna and Chris Brown kissed at the VMAs before he jumped onstage to accept an award for "Please Turn Up The Music," although he's supposedly still dating Karruche Tran. OH, and that time he beat the shit out of her three years ago and sent her to the hospital. That.

Heather Locklear was rushed to hospital yesterday amid fears that a cocktail of pills and booze she'd taken could have killed her. Though it's unclear at this time if it was a deliberate suicide attempt, her sister was clearly worried enough to call the paramedics who, in turn, deemed it serious enough to take her to…

Today in Tweet Beat, everyone—from Snooki to Snoop—is putting Japan in their prayers. Do all these people actually even pray? Or is that something that they just think they should say. Also, some celebs aren't letting this kind of tweet stop them from also self-promoting.

Austin, Texas is a place full of wonderfully weird people, and when the city decided to leave the renaming of its shit disposal team up for public vote, something wonderfully weird happened. What name does Texas's weirdest city favor?

Today in Tweet Beat, Lindsay Lohan gets her wisdom teeth out, Amanda Bynes knows why you're a hater, and Fred Durst takes Twitter's moral high road. Thank god (we think).

• During Elisabeth Hasselbeck's teary apology to Erin Andrews on The View last week, she implied that she talked to Andrews on the phone. Erin says, "She called me. I didn't speak with her." [Extra]

Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio says his wife—who, don't forget, also has black friends—is exercising freedom of speech when using "lesbian" pejoratively. Plus, Stephanie Pratt is now speaking in a British accent.

Today in Tweet Beat, Tyra drops her model behavior because she's retired, Danny DeVito bumps his head in the night, and Stan Lee starts a spelling crusade.

Today in Tweet Beat, Heidi Montag's dream is to star in a movie that no one plans on remaking, Kelly Cutrone is the "godmomma of sex toys," and Lisa Rinna shows us her wrinkles.

Today in Tweet Beat, celebs weigh in on last night's Academy Awards ceremony and the after-parties. Plus, Joan Rivers reviews the gowns, and Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife Beth shows us her nails.