• Maybe all those hysterical parents were right about Marilyn Manson. In his latest video he violently beats a woman who looks like his ex-girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood, then leaves her bloody, dead body in a bathtub.

• You can check out the video for "Running To The Edge Of The World" here, if you must: [Perez Hilton]
• Sharon Osbourne said of Susan Boyle: "I like everybody to do well. Even somebody that looks like a slapped arse. God bless her. It's like, ‘You go girl'. She does look like a hairy arsehole... [God] gave her the talent. Yes he did. [And] he hit her with a fucking ugly stick." [BlackBook Magazine]
• Kate Gosselin has the kids for Thanksgiving so Jon Gosselin will be eating with Hailey Glassman. "My family and I would never let him eat Thanksgiving dinner alone in an apartment," said Hailey. "He's coming to our house for Thanksgiving. I don't care." Then she bickered with Jon and informed him that he's "not doing my family any favors," by coming. [Us]
• TLC is planning on calling some bombshell witnesses in their case against Jon Gosselin. The court has allowed the network's lawyer to depose Hailey Glassman, Jon's bodyguard, Jon's former lawyer Mark Heller, and Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]
• Stripper Nicole Forrester says she and Josh Duhamel "had lots of sex" at a hotel after he came into her strip club while he was married to Fergie. Her lawyer adds, "They fell asleep together, and he kept waking her up to have more sex." [Us]
• Josh Duhamel has issued a statement about the cheating allegations saying, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity. This story is absolutely ridiculous. It is unfortunate that we have to respond to a story that was created because money was exchanged between a tabloid and this woman." [ET]
• Fergie says: "These allegations are nonsense." [ET]
• Fergie had to gain a little weight for Nine and she says Josh Duhamel, "was excited. He enjoys having both: the extra meat to grab when it's there and the tight stomatch when that's there." [Us]
• Beyonce will perform in Egypt for the first time on Friday, but Islamic conservatives are calling her show an "insolent sex party" that threatens the Muslim nation's "social peace and stability." [USA Today]
• Authorities in Malawi threatened to arrest protesters blocking the construction of Madonna's girls school. The 140 villagers are demanding more money for the land the government leased to her charity Raising Malawi. [Reuters]
• Adidas has ended their $3 million sponsorship deal with the University of Central Florida because Michael Jordan's son, Marcus Jordan, wore his father's brand of Nike shoes to an exhibition game last night. [ABC News]
• The jury in the John Travolta extortion trial had enough votes to convict Pleasant Bridgewater and Tarino Lightbourne before the judge declared a mistrial. [Radar Online]
• Keith Lewis, executive director of the Miss California USA organization, is writing a Carrie Prejean tell-all book titled Pageant Bitch. [Perez Hilton]
• Sources say when Miss California USA officials started playing Carrie Prejean's X-rated tape she said, "that's disgusting," then insisted it wasn't her... until the camera panned up to her face. [TMZ]
• U2 is performing in Berlin to mark the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, but people are upset because a two meter wall barrier was built around the venue to keep those without tickets out. [BBC]
• Rue McClanahan has been hospitalised after suffering from acute cardiac illness. A tribute to Rue that was planned for November 14 had to be cancelled. "My darlings, I'm just devastated that I am going to have to miss my own tribute at the Castro Theatre," she said. "Unfortunately, my doctor has laid down the law, and I'm currently having some maintenance on the old ticker. Trust me, I'd much rather be in San Francisco having fun and being adored by all of you." [ONTD]
• Adam Lambert just broke up with Drake LaBry and he already has a new boyfriend: singer/songwriter Ferras Alqaisi, who worked with him on his new album. [Star]
• Emmy Rossum Tweeted: "Just saw the first half of the interview of Diane Sawyer speaking to Rihanna about domestic violence. She speaks honestly, bravely... So many of my friends have experienced this, it's very close to my heart. I urge young women - & really women of any age - to watch it... If someone is hurting you, or has hurt you, I urge you to tell someone. Do not be afraid to come forward,tell your friends, tell your family." [Perez Hilton]
• Sources say Debbie Rowe is headed back to court because in the four months since Michael Jackson died she hasn't seen their kids. [Showbiz 411]
• ANTM's Sundai declared winning the competition was "more important than living" so naturally people were worried about her when she was elminated last night. She says, "I'm OK now. It's funny how many people called me and said, "Oh my god, it was so sad...are you OK?" [E!]
• Could Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami be fake?! Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian claimed NBA star Rashad McCants cheated on Khloe after they hacked into his voice mail and found messages left by a female fan. But McCants said they "made the whole thing up" because they didn't have his phone number and had "already called it quits" when the segment was taped in January. [Us]
• Levi Johnston is demanding a retraction from NBC because he claims the Tweets that William Shatner read last night on the Tonight Show were fake and that he did not write "anybody know where I can get some good weed?" [TMZ]
• Elton John has left the hospital after being treated for the flu and a "serious case" of e. coli infection. [People]
• Demi Lovato Tweets: "There's been a lot of rumors lately that I'm dating one of my best friends Joe [Jonas]. I can promise my entire career that I am not. It's unfortunate that some people out there are so desperate for attention that they have to make up gossip to keep their site alive." [People]
• Uma Thurman says she's excited about training again for the third Kill Bill movie. She says: "They train you so hard that when you come to shooting, it's actually quite comfortable. It's not the same as real kung-fu, and I could not defend myself now if someone picked a fight! It was a transforming experience; I was part of a fight team for almost nine months, and that changed my life. They taught me to work harder than I had ever done before, physically, and it's an incredible thing to discover that your breaking point is actually much higher than you think. It's a great gift." [Daily Express]
• "I thought I was going to be one of those easy-going brides," says Jenna Fisher. "I never really thought about it. Whatever … a piece of paper, words – send it out." But then she went to the store to buy wedding invitations. "Three hours I sat there with the all the books," she says. "I turned into a crazy person. My fiancé was like, 'What about the slap it on the piece of paper with crayon and send it out?' But now I'm pouring over the paper quality!" [People]
• Will Smith's first marriage in 1992 ended in divorce and he says it's "Probably the most painful loss of my life. I quit. I could have fixed it. It really was not that bad. With Jada, I stood up in front of God and my family and friends and said, 'Till death do us part.' So there are two possible outcomes: we are going to be together till death or I am dead." [Daily Express]
• Chiwetel Ejifor, who stars in 2012 says, "When I started reading the script it was impossible to put it down. The film is incredibly fast-paced but doesn't sacrifice any of the moral or characteristic drama that is necessary to work in conjunction with all the epic destruction and CGI stuff." [The Telegraph]
• Bret McKenzie says he's not sure if Flight of the Conchords will come back for a third season, "and if we do it will take a while because we need to write a lot of material," he said, explaining that it could take "ten years," and not for the whole season. "That's for one episode. So to do a season of say six episodes, would take 60 years. We could be getting very old." [The Independent]
• Patricia Clarkson says of her new film Cairo Time, "I've always been the secondary, the tertiary character. And now here I am, playing not just a wife, but the Wife. You know, move aside, boys. And if I can be vain about it, it's a real treat to play a lovely, enticing, sexual woman. But it required so much of me. It was kind of brave of Ruba to really write this part for an actress of my age, 49." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Were you aware that Mariah Carey had to make herself look uglier in Precious? "I had to lose all vanity," Carey said. "I had to change my demeanor, my inside, layers of who I am, to become that woman." [L.A.T.]
• Vincent Kartheiser says Mad Men co-star Elisabeth Moss' wedding to Fred Armisen was, "Not a lot of hoopla and waiting around. Really simple and beautiful. Elisabeth said stuff that made me cry... They were really just speaking to each other and the people they loved." Christina Hendricks' wedding to Geoffrey Arend "was much smaller" he says, "Everyone seemed to know each other. I also cried in that wedding!" [Us]

Oh. My. God. Everyone's girl-crush Christina Hendricks' bizarre, inventive, sinister dress is a bright spot of awesome in a world of styled safety!


Vincent Kartheiser looks like a guilty little boy, but maybe that's the Pete Campbell hair; it's gotta be rough keeping it early-60s long all the time.


I was all about Betsy Brandt's cruisewear special until I reached the bizarre tribe-of-Tory-Burch yoke.


Backing...away...slowly from Aaron Paul.


Even given my distaste for purple in all its iterations, gotta give Anne Dudek full marks for her lovely, delicate accessories and dash of sass.


The main question is: did Jared Gilmore choose his own outfit, or did his mom dress him like a miniature Sky Masterson?


Aww, Kiernan Shipka looks Sally Draper sweet! And best casting in the world: how much does she look like January Jones?


See? Not exactly loving January's mix of soft and sharp here from the waist up, but how 'tast is the skirt? (I just invented that. It's the new "fetch." Or "rufus," if you prefer.)


Elisabeth Moss looks lovely and loving the sea green. Fiance Fred Armisen is one of those comedians who always seems to be in character - like now he's just playing someone serious. Maybe an inevitable consequence of SNL?


Robert Morse will always have a place in my heart for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. And how sweet is it that he brought his grandson as his plus 1?


Ok, corset-style breast-framers have been among my betes noires for the past 20 years, but will say that Melinda McGraw's looking delightfully Casino: a nice nod to the show.


I think it's the combination of "relaxed" fit, loosened tie and three-piece that makes Aaron Staton's getup look kind of absurd. Like, dude, you're obviously trying really hard.


Dana Delany also nods to the show's rad costuming. I'll admit it: as a nerd, I'd have loved to see a vaguely-60's closed-toe, but I get the impulse to mix it up.


At first glance, found Alison Brie's party frock overly fussy. Being fickle, now I love it. What say you, gang?


I'm just gonna say it: what's going on with Jon "Perfection" Hamm's crotch?


[Images via Getty]

• Why do Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes usually fly on separate planes?

Back in 2001, Sam Mendes was booked on American Airlines flight 77 from Washington to L.A., the one hijacked and crashed into the Pentagon. His plans changed, so he never got on the plane, but Kate Winslet also had a terrorist air-scare in 2001. Now Sam and Kate prefer to fly separately, fearing that if they don't, they will leave their children orphans. [Daily Mail]

• By the by, Kate Winslet says: "There's always going to be a part of me that worries about not looking as slim as other actresses." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger won a SAG award last night. [NY Daily News]
• So you know how Lily Allen just broke up with that 45-year-old dude? Right after, she said: "I think, 'This is someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with.' But I cannot face having bad sex." [Mirror]
• Here's more on the Prince Harry/Chelsy Davy breakup: This paper calls her a "flighty blonde," but a source says: "Chelsy's heart is with her family and Africa. She comes from a relaxed family with different values and a completely different lifestyle from the royals. This is what Harry loves about her. The irony is that ultimately this is why they can never be together for ever. She has often told her friends she will never marry him not only because she doesn't, ultimately, want to live in England but also because she doesn't want the attention that comes with dating a royal. She wants a normal life." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile: Princess Eugenie and some friends got drunk at a pole dancing club and the Princess asked if she could try the pole. (She was denied.) [Daily Mail]
• Oh and by the by, Prince William bought Kate Middleton some deer shooting paraphernalia, including a Swarovski stalking scope. She's looking forward to "bagging her first set of Royal antlers." [Daily Mail]
• Rumor has it Hugh Jackman will do a big opening musical number at the Oscars! [Fox 411]
• Whoa: Will Brad Pitt play Steve McQueen? (Brad says: "Nope.") [Extra]
• Does Anderson Cooper fly in the front while his "friend," an "attractive Hispanic man," flies in the back of the plane? [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore was promoting her romcom, He's Just Not That Into You, when she said she'd love to bring an old butt-kicking franchise back to life: "I’m so into it—Charlie's Angels III!" [E!]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil might try to use a love letter Amy wrote to him to get her money in divorce proceedings. In the letter, Amy said she'd write albums especially for Blake Incarcerated; he's expected to argue that it means he's entitled to half of her estimated $15 million earnings. [People, Daiy Mail]
• Are Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett back on? [Extra]
• In this Q&A, Matthew Fox talks about why you never see him lending his name to any causes: "I'm an actor. I try to play a character in a really cool story, the very best I can. And somehow or other that does make people very interested in what I have to say. And I think that, being the stubborn bastard I am… the more people want to hear what it is I have to say, the more I kind of… not say anything." [Men.Style.Com via Details]
• Paramedics were called to the home of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett this weekend, maybe because Amy's mom had a health scare? [TMZ]
• Warning: Russell Brand is thinking about giving up sex. [The Sun]
• A reporter tells Rumer Willis she looks a little like her dad. "She shrieks and grimaces, covering the lower part of her face with her hands: 'I hate my jaw!' she says. [Daily Mail]
• What is going on in the Bahamas? Pleasant Bridgewater, a senior in Parliament, has just resigned. Obie Wilchcombe, a former "close friend" of John Travolta and family — and member of Bahamaian Parliament — was taken into custody regarding an extortion plot. Wilchcombe has been released, but a third person, and EMT who tried to revive Jett Travolta, is sill in custody. [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, Us]
• Wilchcombe says he had nothing to do with the extortion plot. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke hasn't seen The Wrestler — and won't, for a while: "I don't watch anything until three, four, five years go by. I see myself every day in the mirror when I'm shaving. I don't get anything from it." [Extra]
• Samantha Morton says she'll boycott the BBC if the corporation won't broadcast an emergency appeal for help in Gaza. Morton took part in a fundraiser for the British Aid Agency Medical Aid for Palestinians. [The Star]
• Paul McCartney might wed his girlfriend, Nancy Shevell. One might think he'd had enough of marriage… [NY Daily News]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has a book coming out: Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair. Will tips on crotch-grabbing and landing a reality show be included? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which nymphette actress had a really, really swell time in rehab, and has been telling pals that she 'got laid there' all the time?" [Gatecrasher]
• A prop manager from Lipstick Jungle stole $30,000 worth of designer clothes and accessories, but got caught when a limited-edition bag was seen on eBay. [Gatecrasher via Perez]
• Sayonara! Janet Jackson has postponed her tour in Japan due to the global financial crisis. [Internation Herald Tribune]
• Chris Martin gave a lovely lady, Brit singer Alesha Dixon, a ride home. In his private jet. [Daily Mail]
• Wall Street woes mean celeb houses in the Hamptons are going for slashed prices. [NY Post]
• The Jolie-Pitt mansion in Malibu will be up for sale soon, by the way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cool interview with Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss. She says of the show: "Everyone who saw it was like, 'They're SMOKING! They're SMOKING!' No one noticed they were cheating on their wives." [Guardian]
• Psst: Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are planning a hush-hush wedding. [People]
• Patrick Dempsey competed in a car race which raises money for breast cancer, and has also opened the Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing in Maine. [UPI]
• In a Q&A with Lauren Graham, she talks about doing Guys & Dolls on Broadway; a Gilmore Girls movie (not gonna happen) and a new comedy she'll star in, in which she plays "a self-help guru who is truly a mess." [EW]
• Anne Hathaway Googles herself. [Showbiz Spy]
• David and Victoria Beckham have hired two people to clean their mansion in the country, and the couple are named David and Victoria. [Showbiz Spy]
• Hmm, AC Milan is hoping David Beckham will stay with the team. Ciao, Hollywood? [Independent]
• Natascha McElhone made her first official public appearance since the death of her husband last year, and was carrying her newborn son, Rex. [Daily Mail]
• Tommy Lee was seen hanging out with model Victoria Silvstedt — and she had bandages on her knees. What does it mean? [Daily Mail]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy won't strike back at South Park, and that the Family Guy scripts are written by sperm whales. [TMZ]
• Three's a crowd? Cockblocker George Michael went out with Geri Halliwell and her new Italian boyfriend. [Daily Mail]
• Elle Macpherson is dating a multi-millionaire British businessman named Damian Aspinall. [News.com.au]
• Holy femmebot! Kylie Minogue is mega-Photoshopped in her new ads for jewelry company Tous. [Daily Mail]
• Oh dear: Zsa Zsa Gabor lost at least $7 million by investing with Bernard Madoff, the man who's been making the incredibly wealthy merely rich. [UPI, MSNBC]
• Boy George has been moved to a "softer" prison. Is it made of toilet tissue? [Mirror]
• Ladies and gentlemen, an Iron Maiden hotel. [UPI]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was asked to rate his looks on a scale from 1-10. He says: "About six and a half. It’s not really about the face, though. I think it’s more about what’s in my trousers, to be honest – apart from cooking, that’s the thing I’ve got going for me and a lot of women say it’s enough." [Mirror]
• "Patsy is a figure of nostalgia, doing everything we daren’t do because of our obligations to our families and society. I have turned into a school prefect now but, much as i love my life, i sometimes think i’d like to skip classes and smoke cigarettes in the duck-house again. I could have been Patsy if i hadn’t turned out to be me." — Absolutely Fabulous' Joanna Lumley. [Daily Express]
• "When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it. You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good." — Julianne Moore, who is on the cover of Redbook. [People]
• "I can’t stand Angelina and all her babies. Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angelina proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the (bleep) are we getting to Malibu?'" — Chelsea Handler. [Gatecrasher]
• "I swear that my waist is now skinnier than before I was pregnant — how do they do that? Certainly it’s nothing to do with me working out. Jerry Bruckheimer [Shopaholic’s mega-successful producer] hired a personal trainer to help me get rid of the 60lb I put on during pregnancy. He said I was lucky I was blessed with good genes because I had a really bad attitude towards exercise — like stopping when it hurt or got boring and having a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Apparently you are not supposed to do that in Hollywood." — Isla Fisher. [Times of London]
• "I think there's something to be said for looking more natural on film. A perfect physique is unattainable for most women who can't hire personal trainers or who don't have the time or inclination to spend two hours a day working out." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine. Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy." — Bijou Phillips, Scientologist. [Us via Paper Magazine]

• Kelly Osbourne checked into Oregon's Hazelden Alcohol and Drug rehabilitation center on Wednesday. Her mom, Sharon Osbourne, says:

"She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we're proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she's getting it." [Star]

• This is 24-year-old Kelly's second time in rehab; she went when she was 18. [Daily Mail, The Sun]
• The SoHo apartment in which Heath Ledger died has yet to be rented. It's empty, and had been on the market, but was taken off last month. [UPI]
• Heath Ledger's sister says of her family: "We are still all nursing broken hearts. Like anyone who loses a family member, it has opened our eyes to the intense suffering and painful journey that is death." [People, News.com.au]
• During an Oscar Roundtable, Brad Pitt was asked if he Googles himself and said: "Dear God. No. Never. First of all, I don't really know how to operate a computer." But! Robert Downey Jr says: "Oh, I love all that shit, personally. Sorry. I love it. Because it's a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It's really fun." [Perez]
• Mariah Carey was "furious" on inauguration day, because she was seated in the VIP section instead of with the Obama family. So she bailed on the ceremony. LOL. [Page Six]
• Engaged: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss and SNL's Fred Armisen. That was quick! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Gisele and Tom Brady: Not engaged, despite persistent rumors. [NY Mag via Boston Herald]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's marriage seems totally fine, despite all the rumors. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Someone's been spreading a rumor that Kanye West is going to do bisexual porn; Kanye says it's not true and "PLEASE I BEG YOU GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!" [ONTD]
• The appellate court has granted an emergency stay in Roman Polanski's sex abuse case; a proceeding scheduled for Wednesday has been postponed. [UPI]
• Kate Hudson is in the Rob Marshall film adaptation of the Broadway musical Nine, playing a fashion writer for Vogue. Hudson, who sings and dances and the flick, says: "I was taking dance since I was a little girl. So to do it with a choreographer like Rob, you could only hope to work with him. It's a childhood dream." [USA Today]
• Is David Beckham in love with Milan and hoping to stay in Italy forever? [Daily Mail]
• Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford continues to spar with her estranged husband in court; the hubs wants custody because he says she's always working, and Rutherford counters: "If I'm being asked to choose my career over my son, I choose my son. [But] I need this job to pay my bills, legal bills, and [my husband] has offered no support." [People]
• A security gate fell on Tom Cruise's car at Heathrow airport, but Xenu made sure no one got hurt. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke is being offered $250,000 to play Crimson Dynamo in Iron Man 2. That's what's known as "lowballing." [Perez]
• Did anyone see Sigourney Weaver flash her underwear on The View? [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Sienna Miller is out as Maid Marian in Ridley Scott's Nottingham? Well Kate Winslet has passed on the role. An offer has gone out to Cate Blanchett, but she's expected to decline as well. Is it that no one wants to kiss Russell Crowe as Robin Hood? [Fox 411]
• By the by, Sienna Miller will make her Broadway debut in September, playing Miss Julie in After Miss Julie. [Daily Mail]
• Marisa Tomei met an exotic dancer named Misty when she was researching her role in The Wrestler and says even though she learned some pole dancing moves for the film, "I ended up not using all of them… I guess you can say I still have some tricks up my sleeve." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which d-bag actor beats his beautiful action-star girlfriend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Patrick Swayze and his wife of 33 years are working on a memoir together. [UPI, EW]
• "I am your father!" James Earl Jones is getting a lifetime achievement award at the SAG event on Sunday. Did you know he was one of the first black actors to play a president on film, in 1972's The Man? [USA Today]
• Lost's season premiere bombed, ratings-wise, with numbers down 25% from last season. [Fox 411]
• Simon Cowell fired Kelly Brook from Britain's Got Talent and is now apologizing and offering her a role on spinoff Britain's Got More Talent. Fun? [Daily Mail]
• Alex James from Blur says when he had a record label in the '90s, he didn't sign Coldplay becayse "they were ordinary." [The Sun]
• Prepare yourself for a new celebrity offspring in the spotlight: Simon Le Bon's daughter Amber is 18, gorgeous, leggy and ready to party. [Daily Mail]
• News you cannot use: Andy Dick is trisexual. "I'll try anything," he told Tyra Banks on an upcoming show. "I really have tried everything, except nothing with animals. There's only room for one animal - that would be me." [NY Daily News]
• SNL funnylady Kristin Wiig will appear on an episode of Flight Of The Conchords, playing a woman both Bret and Jemaine fall for! [Chicago Tribune]
• Ouch: Larry King lost over $1 million by investing with Bernard Madoff. [Page Six]
• Ugh, they're already casting for round two of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. As for the "winner" of the first season, a spy says: "Paris treats her BFF like an unpaid assistant." [Page Six]
• "A 50-year-old woman is equivalent to 40 when I was growing up. If you take care of yourself, 60 is nothing for women these days. In today's world you can be the kind of woman you want to be. I remember my grandmother wearing the apron and the hairdo, but that's gone. Believe me, that is totally finished." — Tina Turner. [Daily Mail]
• "I just hope I can stay famous enough for a little bit so someone rich will marry me. That’s all I really care about these days." — Lily Allen, who looks smoking hot in these pictures from Interview magazine. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if this film is going to help my box-office career. The fans who liked my earlier films, who watch films to escape and have some fun, this won't be their cup of tea. But I think I will gain a different kind of audience." — Jean-Claude Van Damme on JCVD. [Guardian]
• "There is a lot of whisper acting these days. Paul Giamatti in John Adams whispered most of his dialogue. Not to criticize him, but, one, I'm hard of hearing. And, two, voice is voice. Not aspiration. A whisper is a raspy sound. A voice is a full sound. Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn't cut it." — James Earl Jones. [USA Today]
• "I've got so many stunning girlfriends who can't get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends — who are better looking than me — say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself." — Heather Mills, underminer. [Page Six]
• "YOOOO WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!! I HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME SHIT CLAIMING I SAID I'M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THE AVN WOULD POST FIRST PEOPLE BELIEVED THE TWITTER/STEVEN COLBERT THING, ROLLING STONE EVEN PRINTED IT!!!! NOW SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO MY MYSPACE AND SOMEBODY'S ACTUALLY HACKED INTO MY PERSONAL GMAIL ACCOUNT AND HAS BEEN EMAILING PEOPLE FROM IT... HEY WORLD I NO LONGER HAVE A GMAIL!" — Kanye West, naturally. [ONTD]

• Jennifer Lopez attended the Latino Inaugural Gala on Sunday and said of Barack Obama: "He is the biggest star here, even though it's chock-full of celebrities." Well, yeah. [People]

• Aretha Franklin warmed up for the inauguration with a Martin Luther King Jr. Day concert. She's gonna bring it today. [AP]
• Brad Pitt is psyched today! He says of Barack Obama's inauguration: "It's a new era for us - it reconfirms the original ideals of America. We're very excited about what the future holds. You see people look invigorated at home rather than the cynicism for the last 10 years." [Mirror]
• Ellen Burstyn says: "If you're only going to do one inauguration in your life, this is the one." [USA Today]
• Moby is in D.C. for the festivities, especially since he loves MoveOn.org. Apparently he DJ'd a party and the power went out, but then "hope" brought it back on, or something. [Politico]
• Isaiah Washington was one of the many, many celebs at the Huffington Post party. The place where you could see John Cusack hop a barricade to kiss Marisa Tomei. Washington got "star struck" by meeting Christiane Amanpour. [Politico]
• The Root Ball had Oprah, Samuel L. Jackson, Spike Lee and Chris Tucker, among others. David Gregory was seen dancing to Biz Markie. [WaPo]
• Ben Affleck is in D.C. where he says he'll "camp out" to get good seats. [MSNBC]
• Also in town: Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, Tina Brown, Sharon Stone. [WaPo]
• Want to know where the celebs will be tonight? There's a rundown of the balls and which stars are expected here. [Page Six]
• Serena Williams is at the Australian Open, but is following the Obama news on TV. "This is an amazing moment for American history. Even yesterday, the United States being Martin Luther King's birthday. To have his birthday and Obama's presidency fall so close to each other… This morning, I was watching on the TV before I went out to play. I looked at my arm, and I practically had chill bumps." [AP]
• Quincy Jones, Grammy Award-winning producer and composer, is now a newspaper columnist. [Reuters]
• Remember Vogue's tabloidy December issue with Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and the line, "What Angelina did was very uncool"? The mag sold an estimated 465,000 single copies of the issue, outselling the December 2007 issue by nearly 65,000 copies. Anna Wintour knows what people want. [WWD]
• Paris Hilton is at Sundance, though she seems to have no interest in movies. Her sister, Nicky has been avoiding her, and Paris has been ditching her MTV BFF Brittany Flickinger for Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton swears her airhead image is just an act. "I'm a lot more serious and shy...and if I'm not out, having to be, you know, 'on', I'm at home just chilling and wearing sweat pants." Plus! She's totes an artist: "I have a room in my house where I paint. I've been offered an exhibition, which I might do next year." [The Sun]
• Maybe it's the Utah altitude? Paris was seen sucking face with MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe at a Sundance party. [Gatecrasher]
• Lily Allen texted a nude picture to Ricky Wilson, the lead singer of the Kaiser Chiefs, by accident. A minute later Wilson got another text which read, "Sorry, wrong Ricky." Says Lily: "That was really embarrassing. I was completely topless." She claims she meant to send the snap to Rick Astley, yukyuk. [The Sun]
• In this video, Lily Allen talks about how she doesn't like how the world is so obsessed with celebrity culture, aesthetic beauty, money and consumerism. "And yet I'm a little pop star consumer," she muses. [Pop Dirt]
• Pete Doherty says of his buddy Amy Winehouse and her Caribbean vacation: "She had gone deeper and deeper into a black place. She needed a bright light. And that bright light turned out to be the sun." Profound! [ONTD]
• Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse has met a new fella in St. Lucia: A clean-cut tennis instructor. Love means zero! [The Sun]
• Amy's dad says: "Stories about my troubled daughter are selling newspapers and magazines. They don't want her to get better. But she is better. They didn't see her lying in bed for days in a dark room. She was close to death twice. We have been working a lot to get her to where she is right now." Liquored up in the Caribbean? Really? Guess it beats cracked out in Camdentown. Oh, and there's a documentary in the works, called Saving Amy. [Perez, People]
• SNL's Fred Armisen and Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss: It's on. The two were spotted canoodling. [Page Six]
• Hugh Laurie's Playboy interview touches on his house in Hollywood, depression, Facebook, his similarities to his character on House and the suicide pact he made when he was 15. [ONTD]
• Page Six has a bone to pick with Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A one hour as-yet-untitled TV documentary about Spongebob Squarepants is in the works. That's right: Spongebob. [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Russell Simmons is working on Spongebob bling. [Gatecrasher]
• While filming the upcoming miniseries The Last Templar, Mira Sorvino broke five teeth trying to kiss Scott Foley on a speedboat. [Page Six]
• There's a hearing in the Roman Polanski case tomorrow, not that the director will be in the country. His lawyers are using information from the HBO documentary Wanted and Desired to try and get the case dismissed. [AP]
• Look for Kevin Kline, Paul Dano, Katie Holmes and John C. Reilly in The Extra Man, a comedy to begin filming in New York next month. [Variety]
• Aww, adorable pictures of Michael Stipe and his photographer boyfriend! [Perez]
• News you cannot use: Coolio has had crabs twice, and only once from a female. [The Sun]
• Jailed Boy George has been signing autographs for inmates who "demand" them. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which eccentric actor got his start in the biz by letting directors in where the sun don’t shine?" [Gatecrasher]
• James McAvoy hates overexposed Hollywood stars and thinks they're not thespians: "I just know so much about them. So how can I accept them in a role? There are just some people, they're not actors to me. They're chip paper. Just glossy paper. If I'm in a film, or a telly, or a play, then why should people come and see it? Because you know, they can just pick up some fucking rubbish magazine, and see me in that." [Daily Express]
• Olivia Newton-John says positive thinking helped her beat breast cancer: "I was terrified of chemotherapy, and nearly didn't have any. But my best friend Nancy reminded me that I had a little girl who needed me and that I had to take every chance I was given to beat the cancer. So rather than thinking about the toxins going through my body, I visualised a stream of pure gold. That night, instead of going to bed feeling lousy, I went to the cinema with Nancy." [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not so afraid of getting old, I'm more afraid of how I'll go. Fire and tight spaces don't appeal. A shark would be interesting." — Brad Pitt. [Reuters]
• "The one thing we have to offer, we are peddling joy with both hands. You come to our show and you will leave a happy camper. In a downturn, people need a few laughs. I know that sounds corny, and I can imagine some old-timer saying it. (But) I'm always happy to be uplifted when I go to a show. People look forward to it during the hard times. If they're looking forward to it, we got it." — Bette Midler on her Vegas stage show, The Showgirl Must Go On. [UPI]
• "[Antidepressants] are something I’ve tried that has helped. They’re probably good for my work because they help with confidence, and confidence is the prerequisite of all successful endeavors. But then again, as I said, I get suspicious if things start to feel too easy or comfortable, so that’s not a perfect solution either. Pharmaceuticals do raise the question of who we are as human beings. What are moods and feelings if we can change or even do away with them? Does that reduce the essence of who we are? Then again, I tend to overthink these things. I overthink everything, I think. But if your eyesight fails, it’s okay to wear glasses or contact lenses, is it not? If you feel cold, you put on a sweater. Is that changing the nature of who you are? No." — Hugh Laurie. [ONTD]
• "I didn’t go to acting school so I didn’t know that’s what I wanted to be. I came from a background of lawyers and academics and we just didn’t watch films in our household. I had no idea who Maggie Smith or Gary Oldman or any of these people were." — Emma Watson. [Daily Express]
• "I know the studio is gobsmacked by its success, and a lot of the critics have been surprised, but I wasn't. It was a no-brainer. I knew it would do well because it was aimed at an audience that has been neglected in recent years in film offerings - women. They are the last group anybody ever cares about." — Meryl Streep, on the commercial success of Mamma Mia, which has made almost $600 million worldwide. [Telegraph]

For those of you who need a warm up for tonight's show, here's a clip of Hugh with cast member Fred Armisen:

• Britney's son Jayden reportedly had a seizure yesterday. Brit and the kids were in Kentwood, Louisiana, and the whole family rushed to the hospital in Mississippi. The two-year-old was kept over night for observation. [The Sun]
• William Balfour's current girlfriend has told police that he was involved in the killings of Jennifer Hudson's family. Will he be charged? [ET]
• William Balfour is in prison on a parole violation and may be released today. [Chicago Tribune]
• Lindsay Lohan on her love life in Bazaar: "I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing." When asked if she considers herself bisexual, LL said, "Maybe. Yeah." When asked if she's a lesbian, LL said, "No." Satisfied? [Page Six]

• Jennifer Aniston's rep has denied the rumor (and tabloid cover story) that she is pregnant. One magazine editor says: "She did lunch at the Ivy in a tight shirt? I mean, the Ivy? Usually Jen is above that sort of thing. She obviously knew she'd be photographed there. It makes you wonder if all of this press — hers and Brad's —is starting to get to her." [MSNBC]
• In this "30 Seconds With Justin Timberlake" interview, JT talks about golf, golf, and hitting golf balls. "Most of the Hollywood types that I know are not very good golfers." [NY Times]
• Is Peaches Geldof ready to divorce her husband? They've been married for 96 days. [Daily Mail]
• Peaches has a spokesperson, who says: "They have their ups and downs but at the moment Peaches and Max are still together and they are not getting divorced." [The Sun]
• Drew Barrymore was at a Vote No on Prop 8 protest, and told marchers, "I will fight with you!" [WOW Report]
• Beyoncé says: "I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It's time for that, right?" But aren't you busy being Sasha Fierce? [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie says she'll do a film in February, then take a year-long break to be with her family, "and then one film a year, one film every three years, one film every six years. I’ll just, you know, fade away…" Sure, sure. [Times of London]
• Angelina on her twins: "They're great. They're still so little, but they do [have their own personalities]. They're starting to get very smiley. They're at that [stage] where their personality really starts to shine." [People]
• Brad Pitt will be on Oprah this month! Snippets from the interview have been leaked; he apparently confirms that more kids are coming ("Why stop now?") and says Shiloh is in a Peter Pan phase, and will only respond to the names "John" or "Peter." [Perez Hilton]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty have broken up, and Sienna is "seriously worried" about her acting career after being dropped from Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes flick. But! She did hang out with Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett on Friday night and "swapped numbers" with Josh. [Daily Mail]
• Guess who's £35,000 richer? Sienna Miller: She reached an out of court settlement for an invasion of privacy action against The Sun and the News of the World for covering her alleged relationship with Balthazar Getty right after her breakup with Rhys Ifans. [Guardian]
• Guy Ritchie's dad is "pleased" about his son's split with Madonna. Cold! [Daily Express]
• Will Oprah's show end in 2011? She is working on the Oprah Winfrey Network, and after a while, she may only appear there and not on her syndicated talk show. There's something odd about a network called OWN, it's very possessive, no? [UPI]
• Kate Winslet, who never wears fur, posed on a silver fox rug for Vanity Fair, believing it was fake. It was real. Vanity Fair has apologized, saying "Although there were both real and fake furs on set, the fur used in the photograph is real. We thought Miss Winslet was aware of this and we're sorry for the miscommunication." Seems like the stylists just said what she wanted to hear. [Telegraph]
• Nicole Kidman will play the world's first post-operation transsexual in the Hollywood movie The Danish Girl. [UPI]
• Blake Fielder-Civil's been fitted with a electronic ankle bracelet, as part of the terms of his release from jail. Sorta late on that trend, huh? [The Sun]
• Hmm, the chick with whom Blake had some sleazy communication with while in jail has changed her Facebook status to say: "Sophie is celebrating the return of her sailor." Which means Blake. [Perez Hilton]
• Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse has called a lawyer, trying to protect her £10 million fortune from her junkie hubby. [Mirror]
• Lauren Conrad is moving beyond The Hills and focusing on her dating abuse campaign, m.powerment. [USA Today]
• Oh, Lauren Conrad pitched a fit after being paged at the airport; she thought people would start talking to her and bothering her. Guess what? No one cared. [Page Six]
• The first paragraph of this Salma Hayek story is all about her breasts. Then the writer recalls one night before the Oscars when Salma asked her stylist if anybody could see her "bush" through her gown. She's described as the Mexican Catherine Deneuve, as well as "Earth Mother. Movie star. Director. Producer. And now humanitarian" with a "Speedy Gonzales accent." [Times of London]
• Terri Seymour, Simon Cowell's ex, says their split shouldn't come as a surprise: "We didn't feel like a couple any more." [Mirror]
• Terri says she's going to miss Simon's mom the most. "I'll really miss Julie. She's a lovely lady and so much fun. When Simon and I split up she said to me 'you'll always be my little girl - I adore you.'" [Mirror]
• Meanwhile, Simon Cowell is "furious" with Mariah Carey, because she was supposed to appear on his X Factor show but kept contestants waiting for three hours. [Mirror]
• As for Mariah, she is "happier than she’s ever been" and says: "I feel great, it’s hard work to stay in shape but the results are worth it." She's on a 1,500 calorie-a-day diet and does two hours of cardio and sculpting every day. Fun! [Mirror]
• The Naked Cowboy has settled his lawsuit against M&Ms. Seems he may have gotten some cash. [UPI]
• Jewel, the singer who used to live in a van, is selling her $1.7 million Hollywood Hills home. Will she live on her ranch in Texas instead? [TMZ]
• Evan Rachel Wood says her breakup with Marilyn Manson was not over her brother living in the guest house: "Manson and I both decided to take some time apart so we could concentrate on work. Someone used that opportunity to kick us while we were down and sell a completely false story. Manson owns the house he lives in. My brother has never stayed there and the person that said such horrible things about Manson being 'controlling' and 'emotionally abusive' is certainly no source 'close' to me." [UPI, People]
• The journalist who caused Pink to storm out of an interview has resigned. Pink, ever subtle, says: "She's fucking insane." [News.com.au]
• Taylor Swift says there were people watching her shop at Victoria's Secret: "I look up and there are, like, 15 people looking at me, with camera phones out, waiting to take a picture of which kind of underwear I'm going to buy. 'Think she's a small or an extra small?' I wanted to be like, 'Uh, guys? I can hear you!'" [Page Six]
• Fred Armisen says playing Barack Obama is an intricate game: ''To me, it's like trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube or a puzzle. There are so many pieces to put together." [UPI]
• Residents of a Manhattan walk-up are begging their landlord to remove Ralph Turturro, brother of John, from the building. The cops have been called more than five times since he moved in in August; Ralph screams at all hours of the night and is "explosive." One neighbor says "It's sad, because he's a sick man." [NY Post]
• Paul McCartney would like to sing for Michelle Obama. He'd like to do hit song "Michelle," of course. [People]
• Pete Townshend is an Obama fan as well. [Reuters, Reuters]
• Speaking of Pete Townshend, the Who played a show in L.A. on Saturday. Roger Daltrey's voice was not exactly in shape, and he told the crowd: "My vocal chords kinda go to sleep after two days off." [Reuters]
• Russell Brand says the infamous radio broadcast that got him fired was actually the "toned down" version. Yikes! [BBC News]
• In a new book, Ted Turner says he and Jane Fonda did not break up because of her religion. Is that what you've heard? [Yahoo News]
• Sylvester Stallone is writing the script for a film called The Expendables, in which he'll star with Jason Statham and Jet Li. And maybe Forest Whitaker. Sly says: "Whereas the Oceans 11 films were an ensemble for good looking guys, this is an ensemble for ugly tough guys." Don't you be talking about The Statham! [UPI]
• Famed paparazzo Ron Galella has a new book coming out and says: "When I started it was one to one. Me and Jackie [O]. Me and Liz Taylor. I like glamour. I'm a romantic person. The photographers today… they go for bad pictures, cellulite. I think it's a negative thing." [Reuters]
• The hottest after-hours bash in Hollywood happens at Eddie Murphy's house. Party all the time, party all the tiiiime… [Page Six]
• More news about Robin Williams dating Aly Hilfiger's friend. [Daily Express]
• If you like Guitar Hero, Rock Band and KISS, you'll want the Gene Simmons Axe Guitar, which works with Playstation games. [Reuters]
• Haha, this story about Zac Efron contains the following line: "Zac was different from other kids… He liked musicals, not girls." Just what are you implying? [Mirror]
• Former teen heartthrob David Cassidy has advice for Zac Efron:
  "All I can say to Zac is that as long as he does good work, doesn't lose his mind and stays grounded as a human being, he'll be fine." [People]
• "Cloning - we got generations of that shit. The pyramids? They was for cloning. That's why embalming lasts so long. Get the DNA and pull 'em back. So somebody been cloned already, but not me. Not yet." — George Clinton. [Page Six]