1.) Rasputin**
The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.

2.) Liam Neeson
In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty, Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."

3.) Jay-Z
Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."

4.) John Holmes
Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.

5.) Vincent Gallo
Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? (Link NSFW)

6.) Milton Berle
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.

7.) Wilt Chamberlain
His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.

8.) Tommy Lee
Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)

9.) Frank Sinatra
Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."

10.) Alexis Arquette
Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)

10.) President Johnson
"He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘Jumbo.'"

11.) Errol Flynn
He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano. A classical pianist!

12.) James Woods
That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

13.) Colin Farrell
It looks like a baby's arm. (Link NSFW)

14.) Peter Andre
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

15.) Anthony Keides
The girls on Metal Sludge—a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."

16.) Tony Kanal
The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.

17.) Tony Danza
He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)

18.) Ray J
Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)

19.) Dan Rather
The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."

20.) Simon Rex
It's no wonder why he used to do porno.

P.S. Here's a preview of Hung:

*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt.
**This list is not compiled by size order.

• Could Oscar winner Jamie Foxx play Frank Sinatra in the highly anticipated upcoming biopic directed by Martin Scorsese? "Cool is colour-blind," says an industry source, "Jamie would seem to be born to the role." [DailyExpress]

• However, other industry sources say that Martin Scorsese has narrowed his finalists down to Johnny Depp and James Franco. "One issue for Johnny is his age. He's 45. But he's youthful enough to play nearly anybody," says a source. Mark Wahlberg, Harry Connick, Jr., and everyone's Mom's boyfriend, Michael Buble, have also been mentioned for the role. [PageSix]
• Bradley Cooper is denying rumors that he and Jennifer Aniston are a couple: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Aniston, meanwhile, hopes to direct someday: ""I'm just waiting for the right thing. When you get to a place in your career where you're like, ‘OK, I feel like I can breathe and I can make some choices that creatively stimulate me.' I don't know if acting is always going to be it, but I love it." [ShowbizSpy]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr., are expecting a baby girl. "Sarah wants the room to look sophisticated, so nothing too frilly or princessy," says a source, "She's been shopping for earth tones to mix with plum or magenta accents." [Star]
• "There were certain moments when I was 18 and I'd look out of the window to see girls going to parties with their boyfriends and think, ‘How am I ever going to meet anybody?' I couldn't just go on a date, and nobody was going to ask me out. I was working too hard and not exposed to people my own age. But now I'm in such a great place and I'm happy that I've found the person I've found. I wouldn't trade it for anything."- Beyonce [Mirror]
• Blind Item: "This B-/C+ actor from a hit network drama who has had a very famous girlfriend in the past year, thinks he has a life coach that he hired last year. What he really has is a tabloid reporter who is writing a book about the show and the people on it." [BlindGossip]
• Wonder what the cast of The Facts of Life is up to? Find out here. [Yahoo]
• Amy Adams, who got engaged last year, says her work schedule has made it impossible to do any planning for her wedding. "I'm working too hard." [People]
• Good news for Dollhouse fans: the show has been renewed. [EW]
• "We were a rich kids' school but with good morals. Stefani was a straight-A student who wore her skirt to her knee, as we were supposed to, and knee-high socks," says one ofLady Gaga's former classmates, "I was so shocked when I first saw her perform as Lady Gaga. It was at a Lower East Side club, the Slipper Room, and she was in a coned bra and little hot pants. I said, "Damn, you have changed. But when we got to talking, she hadn't changed at all. She wasn't even drinking. She was still one of the nice girls. I really think her morals are still intact." [DailyMail]
• After a "blazing row" with her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, Paris Hilton decided to take her father to the premiere of her new reality show. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, MTV has bought the rights to a documentary called Paris, Not France, that aims to show that Paris Hilton isn't as ditzy as she appears.KansasCityStar]
• "I'd never want to become famous now. I feel like there's a real cockiness with young people today. Maybe it's protective, a shell. But the new celeb daughters and sons, the pop stars, are wise beyond their years. And that really irritates me."-Chloe Sevigny [TimesOnline]
• A source claims that Amy Winehouse "has knocked the drugs on the head but replaced them with alcohol." Amy is currently on St. Lucia, doing gymnastics, horseback riding, and attempting to prepare for summer festivals. [DailyExpress]
• Carrie Prejean is in trouble again for booking a Fox & Friends appearance without clearing it with the Miss California USA organization. ""We did not know about Carrie hosting Fox and Friends on May 27," says pageant director Keith Lewis, "She did not ask us if she could host the show, and once again Carrie is not in compliance with her Miss CA USA contract and obligations."[ONTD]
• Jeremy Piven is "not welcome" on Broadway after his mercury-poisoning Speed the Plow fiasco last year: "He's not welcome here," says Steven Pasquale of reasons to be pretty, "He should stay on the West Coast forever and . . . never, never return. It's sort of like the Broadway-producer Mafia . . . They certainly don't want him in town." [PageSix]
• Me, personally, if I don't write all the time, if a couple of weeks go by and I'm not writing, I feel shitty. I need to write, just as little exercises to feel like I'm doing something."-Eminem [Guardian]
• "I don't see myself as funny. I am definitely low-key, not the kind of person who is always ‘on', especially with strangers," the actor tells Britain's Sunday Mirror newspaper in a new interview. "I think people approach me with certain expectations that I don't always live up to. I have never been a stand-up comedian. I can't tell a joke. Actually, I don't know any jokes."- Ben Stiller [ShowbizSpy]
• "I mean, in Harry Potter people likes the characters, but they don't want to sleep with them. And I guess it kind of adds a different intensity to it, which I still haven't got my head around."-Robert Pattinson, who clearly has never read any Potter fanfic. Yikes. [ShowbizSpy]

• Eminem says Elton John helped him fight his drug addiction. "He had a substance-abuse problem in the past. So when I first wanted to get sober, I called him," explains Em.

• He continues, "He's somebody who's in the business and can identify and relate to the lifestyle and how hectic things can be. He understands, like, the pressure and any other reasons that you wanna come up with for doing drugs. Me and him have had similar lives and stuff. So I reached out to him and told him, 'Look, I'm going through a problem, and I need your advice.'" [The Daily Express]
• Eminem is sending everyone who pre-orders his new album Relapse from the official website a copy of the video for "3 a.m." Also, he Tweeted: "I'm giving away an extra free song with my album if you buy the Relapse CD. I'm still on the run, my darling." [Rolling Stone]
• Hollywood producer Jon Peters' tell-all book will reveal that Barbara Streisand dated Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal and Kris Kristofferson. [UPI]
• Farrah Fawcett has dropped the lawsuit she filed over the iconic photo of her in a red swimsuit. [TMZ]
• Craig Nevius is suing Ryan O'Neal and others, because he says he was responsible for the Farrah Fawcett documentary that will air tomorrow on NBC, but was pushed out of the project and O'Neal "physically threatened him." [TMZ]
• Kevin and "Aunt " Jodi Kreider, brother and sister-in-law of Kate Gosselin on Jon and Kate Plus 8 say that Jon had to empty his 401K because Kate has been keeping the money they earned from their reality show to herself. [Star]
• In this video interview, Jodi Kreider says, "It's a very sad situation... This is going to affect these children terribly, if she goes for a divorce. I think right now Kate is very lost and very blinded by her actions and what she is doing — [she] is not being a mother that is nurturing and hands on." [Radar Online]
• Jesus Luz's dad says that Madonna and his son are indeed having some sort of commitment ceremony, but it won't be legally binding. "The Kabbalah ceremony (that) will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy. I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah (or if the ceremony) will have legal validity." [The Daily Express]
• To celebrate his birthday Robert Pattinson went out to dinner with Kristen Stewart... and his parents, plus a few New Moon crew members. [E!]
• Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff are suing companies that they say illegally used their names in website domain names. [UPI]
• Ashley Olsen posed for a series of "shocking" pictures in V Man magazine, in which her hair is dark and she's wearing a bra top. Mostly they're shocking because she doesn't looks more mature than when she was 8. [The L.A. Times]
• Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament was jumped and robbed by three thugs with knives. The robbers smashed the window of his car and chased after him when he tried to get away. They made off with $7,000 and Ament suffered a laceration on his head, but he's OK and the whole thing was caught on a security camera. [TMZ]
• Glenn Close wrote on the Huffington Post about her trip to prison for The Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about the Puppies Behind Bars program, in which inmates train service dogs. The footage will air on Friday's show. [The Huffington Post]
• Simon Cowell says in an interview with PETA, "I think it's nice that [the Obamas] have made an issue of buying a dog for the kids. What I think would be great would be if they also took in a shelter dog, just from anywhere, to balance it. I'll even pay for the dog food!" [Entertainment Weekly]
• Bette Midler has some unsolicited dating advice for Jennifer Aniston: "She should find somebody who is really hot, who's not in show business. Somebody with a lot of money, and she should live the large life and forget about these a—holes. She's a great girl. She's got everything going for her." Um, thanks? [People]
• In this video a homeless woman defends Katharine McPhee from the paparazzi: [Perez Hilton]
• Katie Price's management company will no longer represent her, but they're sticking with her husband Peter Andre, who recently announced he's divorcing her. [Mirror]
• Steven Speilburg says he created the video game "Boom Box" because he wanted a game that all of his seven children could play. He said he plays just about every video game that comes out and is a big fan of the Wii. "It's been very, very good for a parent like me who wants our kids not to be couch potatoes, but to get up and move their bodies around more," said Spielberg. [Reuters]
• James Tupper says of his newborn son with Anne Heche, "It's a bit like having an unreasonable employer. He doesn't give breaks." [People]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been moved to a halfway house from the federal prison where he was serving his sentence for not paying taxes on his $1 million prize. [Yahoo]
• Hugh Jackman says he wasn't uncomfortable while giving his son "the talk." He said, "My dad never ever did it with me so I was very adamant that I was going to do it with my son." Jackman also told his son, "You just got to respect girls. But he goes, 'Dad are they hot, though?' That's what he always wants to know. I try to tell him that he not use me to get to them." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who quit the Miss California USA organization because of Carrie Prejean called Ryan Seacrest's radio show this morning when she was very upset. You can listen here: [Perez Hilton]
• Morrissey has cancelled another show, but it's still not clear what illness he's suffering from. [BBC]
• Martin Scorsese may want Leonardo DiCaprio for the upcoming Frank Sinatra biopic, but the studio wants Johnny Depp. We don't see either in the role. Suggestions? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Scotland Yard officials are considering cutting back on police protection for junior members of the royal family because the bill comes to £50 million a year. [The Daily Mail]
• Janice Dickinson attacked the paparazzi last night. You can check out the video and decide whether you think she was on something or not. [Perez Hilton]
• DMX was released from jail today after serving 90 days for cruelty to animals, possession of narcotic drugs, theft and possession of marijuana. [TMZ]
• Kevin Smith discussed why he decided to direct the film A Couple of Dicks, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, Which he didn't write. He says, "After Zack and Miri - or after, rather, the collapse of Zack and Miri - I was just like, I don't feel like writing anything right now. I read it and I was like, this is like Lethal Weapon with 40 percent less action, which is something I can get my head around. On 30 Rock, one of the posters in Tracy's office is for a movie called Black Cop / White Cop, so when it was announced people were just like,"It's Black Cop / White Cop!" But it's not race-specific. It's not, "He's a white cop who plays it by the book. And he's a slaphappy black dude who's gonna teach him how to misbehave and be a real cop!" It's two guys who are longtime partners who kind of depend on the friendship." [New York Magazine]
• Mariska Hargitay is on Capitol Hill with her family for the second day in a row. [Politico]
• Dateline is devoting an entire hour to Taylor Swift later this month. Remember when that was a new show? [AP]
• In her Goop newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow advised that people should play Coldplay if they are looking for good party music. "Gwyneth Paltrow is not a music expert but is an avid listener and knows how to get down," she wrote. [The Daily Express]
• There's more talk about cougars here from Vivica A. Fox, if you can stand it. [CBS News]
• Tori Spelling says when she was pregnant she was afraid of having a girl. "It turns out that Stella is a total mama's girl," she says of her 11-month-old. "For all my fears, without my even trying, Stella wants her mama. When she is in [husband] Dean's arms, she lunges for me the way Liam did for him." [People]
• Here's Winona Ryder's secret to looking young, according to a friend: "She is a very healthy eater, and I think that is a big part of it," says Collea. "It sounds boring, but the girl eats a lot of salads. And you know those giant Big Gulps cups that most people fill with soda? She's got hers filled with water." [People]
• Roadside Attractions bought the worldwide distribution right to Good Hair a documentary Chris Rock made about African-American hair culture after his daughter asked him, "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" [Variety]

• Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 says she and Jon may be through. "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing," she says.

• "I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name [Jon's alleged mistress]. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights." [People]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Krieder and his wife Jodi have recorded an interview with Radar Online [in addition to their Star cover story, which was discussed in Midweek Madness]. They claim that Kate told her husband Jon "it's over." As for Jon and Kate Plus 8, Jodi says, "The show is not reality, and has not been for a long time. This is a train wreck." Kevin adds: "Their family is in shambles." [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse's concert in St. Lucia was supposed to be her comeback, but it was "more like a cry for help." She forgot some lyrics, danced erratically, and changed a song because she was "bored." The next day she approached the writer of the article and said, in a little girl voice, "I think I love you, Verky." She started running down to the beach then turned and screamed, "Wait! Are you a lesbian? Oh, well neither am I!" [ONTD]
• Wanda Sykes and her wife, Alex, welcomed twins on April 27. Her wife gave birth to the babies, named Olivia Lou and Lucas Claude. [People]
• Carrie Prejean appeared on Sean Hannity's Fox News show last night to explain her topless photos. "I'm from California. A swimsuit for us is no big deal," she said. She says she was doing a photo shoot for a surfing magazine and her vest just blew open because it was windy. "He was sneaking shots … it's inappropriate," she said. She added that she wound not pose for Playboy and has rejected an offer to star in a porn film. [The L.A. Times]
• Dethroned 2007 Miss Nevada Katie Rees is mad that she was punished for personal pictures taken of her showing a breast, flashing her thong, and "doing her best Katy Perry impression" but Miss California Carrie Prejean gets to keep her crown. "At least when those pictures of me came out, I admitted I was wrong and told young women in America how big of a mistake it was and to be careful because everything can affect your future," she said. "That's more than Carrie has done. She has lied about her age when she took the photos, lied about how many there were and hasn't acknowledged that she was wrong by breaking the contract. I don't think that is a good role model and I hope young women recognize that." [Yahoo]
• Court documents from Carrie Prejean's parents' divorce include explicit allegations from her sister that Carrie was physically abused by both parents and sexually abused by her father. The person blogging for Perez Hilton writes, "We're truly sorry to hear these kinds of things." Then snarks that she should speak out on child abuse as her new platform. How sensitive. [Perez Hilton]
• A battle is raging within Carrie Prejean's old school district in San Diego because some people want to make June 1st "Carrie Prejean Day" and of course, many are opposed. TMZ points out that in Canada June 1 is the National Day Against Homophobia. [TMZ]
• Roseanne Barr is Tweeting under the name "RoseanneBigMamai," sharing her insights like, "that miss cali is a rag, a hank of hair and two silicone bags on heels," and "donald trump is a pimp daddy." [ONTD]
• Kiefer Sutherland is back home in Los Angeles after being charged with assult for headbutting a designer in New York. The cast of 24 is rallying around him and Jon Voight reportedly gave him " a loving hug." [Yahoo]
• While staying in their rented Long Island mansion, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken to hanging out at the local Borders, Stop & Shop, and Dunkin' Donuts. They're trying to teach the kids what's normal, but the Oyster Bay locals aren't really helping "They are off the charts excited and everyone is dolled up, " says a source. "The moms are trying to look a little bit more polished. Instead of schlepping in sweat pants and messy hair, now they wear designer jeans and high heels, which they never wear. Usually it's Tod's or Gucci loafers. Everyone is putting a little more effort. Let's face it – he's a handsome guy." [People]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expected to walk the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, where Brad's Inglorious Basterds will premiere. [People]
• Harrison Ford has confirmed his engagement to Calista Flockhart. When an Entertainment Tonight reporter asked if they're happy, Ford said, "You'd be the first to know if we weren't, wouldn't you," before adding, "Yes of course we are, I'm delighted." [The Star]
• Police were called to Lindsay Lohan's home because her burglar alarm went off. They thought someone had broken in because her room had been ransacked, but it turned out she had just committed the crime of having a messy bedroom. [People]
• Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner was given a CLIO Award last night, which rewards excellence in advertising. Weiner said, "I grew up loving advertising as a form of entertainment and I still enjoy it. I think about the fact that for some reason or another it is so close as an artist to the process of the mixture of business and art and wit. And I admire very much what you do. Now ironically I get to feel like I am part of the history of advertising, so thank you very much for this award." [AdWeek]
• Here's an audio recording of 911 calls from Victoria Principal, who says her maid is trying to rob her, and the maid, who says Principal is trying to shoot her. They are both suing each other. [TMZ]
• Robin Williams is resuming his Weapons of Self-Destruction and Reconstruction comedy tour after having heart surgery in March. [People]
• Carla Bruni and French President Nicholas Sarkozy are hunting for a new apartment in Paris. They checked out the late Yves Saint Laurent's flat, and if they buy it they'll be two floors up from Bruni's ex-boyfriend, Mick Jagger. [The Times]
• Howard K. Stern and two doctors, Khristine Eroshevich and Sandeep Kapoor, are being arraigned this afternoon in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case. [TMZ]
• When asked about Sarah Palin, Private Practice's Tim Daly said, "Oh, boy, I'm going to try and be as gracious as Mr. Obama has been about her." His attempt: "I'm sure she's an interesting person, but I would rather hope that, whether our politicians are women or men, they would come in a more articulate and better-informed package than Sarah Palin." [U.S. News & World Report]
• Rachel Weisz plays a recluse with lots of time on her hands in The Brothers Bloom and for the film, "I had to learn to look like I could play violin, piano, banjo, guitar. Unicycle, juggle. I had to learn to do a card trick, a really complicated one. That was me doing that card trick, it was one shot. Rap, skateboard, Pingpong. It was a lot of stuff," Weisz said. "I had two weeks to learn all the hobbies, apart from the card trick, and that was a month that I had to practice every single day." [Yahoo]
• Jay-Z's rider says he should be provided with a late-model black Maybach (either the 57 or 62 model) with tinted windows, various alcoholic beverages and, "good quality peanut butter and jelly, one martini shaker, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboro Lights." [The Smoking Gun]
• Just hours before they announced their separation Katie Price and Peter Andre appeared holding hands at the British Soap Awards. [The Daily Mail]
• Aerosmith is selling scratch off lottery tickets, which will let fans win concert tickets, backstage passes, and memorabilia. [The N.Y. Times]
• In response to reports that Paris Hilton's party guests vandalized her neighbor's cars, she says, "I had nothing to do with this... I would never egg anyone's car, especially to my boyfriend and sister's [Nicky Hilton] neighbors. My blue Bentley was egged, and so was Nicky's Ranger Rover." Nicky lives up the street from Reinhardt. [Radar Online]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, Shannen Doherty's broke up photographer Kurt Iswarienko's marriage, according to his mother-in-law. [Star]
• Just so you know, according to Maxim Olivia Wilde of House is the sexiest woman alive. [The Mirror]
• Martin Scorsese is directing a biopic about Frank Sinatra called Sinatra. [Variety]
• An email newsletter from British ski-wear company SkiWear4Less has been banned by the U.K. Advertising Standards Authority for including Natasha Richardson in an ad to sell ski helmets. [VideoGum]
• Wilmer Valderrama has recorded a commercial for PETA in which he urges parents not to take their kids to the circus because the animals are abused. "As an actor, it's my job to entertain people," says Valderrama. "Nobody forces me to perform, but, sadly, animals in circuses aren't so lucky. ... Animals aren't willing performers, so please don't ever take your family to a circus that uses animals." [PETA]
• Vegetarian Alicia Silverstone says "I didn't grow up on vegetarian food. I ate the same things that everyone else did. There were times when I would get selfish and eat meat - at eight years old it's hard to stick to your guns," she said, but eventually, "I started thinking, 'Why am I saving one animal and still eating steak? How can I love these creatures so much... and keep eating meat?' Ultimately I thought that if I wasn't ready to eat a dog, I shouldn't be eating meat at all." [The Daily Express]

China will certainly appear, to the millions who attend its utterly whitewashed, coalfire/street people/industrial belch-free/parallel universe-inhabiting Olympic Games, to be not so bad. And shit, on a historical scale or compared alongside conditions in much of the Third World, that's true. But for the same 1.5 billion reasons guys like Spielberg are so transfixed by the place, women like Mia Farrow — and Angelina Jolie and George Clooney, who is not a woman but maybe we could make him an honorary one for this purpose — are doing their public duty as famous people who know lots of other famous people, to look out for less famous ones. I love you, Mia Farrow, and I'm glad you didn't need to have anyone's legs broken over this; the power of your message seemed to be enough.

Spielberg Quits [Washington Post]
MiaFarrow.org
Script Issues Block Cusack Film From Shooting In China [USA Today]