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How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
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Stabby McStabberson
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
i don't know about the sinny and hot thing. i kinda like the idea that george liked hitting some quality virginia badonkadonk.
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Stabby McStabberson
02/02/09

@Stabby McStabberson loves annoying Gawker commenters with h...: *er, "skinny".
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rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
You'd have to be awesome to get with George Washington, I mean dude was 6'8" and weighed a motherfucking ton.
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bangers
02/02/09

@rmric0: thank you for that laugh.
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NewsBunny
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
Abigal Adams was the most kick-ass first lady EVER.

Her famous letter to hubby John:

"I long to hear that you have declared an independency. And, by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors.

"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands.

"Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.

"That your sex are naturally tyrannical is a truth so thoroughly established as to admit of no dispute; but such of you as wish to be happy willingly give up -- the harsh tide of master for the more tender and endearing one of friend.

"Why, then, not put it out of the power of the vicious and the lawless to use us with cruelty and indignity with impunity?

"Men of sense in all ages abhor those customs which treat us only as the (servants) of your sex; regard us then as being placed by Providence under your protection, and in imitation of the Supreme Being make use of that power only for our happiness."
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formergr
02/02/09

@NewsBunny: I was not familiar with this, wow! She really didn't hold back-- great letter, and one that must have been *very* radical for the times.
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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
This was the one bit that made me angry: "She lacked artistic skill, except perhaps in fine needlework."

Fuck you, Flexner, that IS an artistic skill ... and often the ONLY artistic outlet ALLOWED to women of that era. Get yer male limitations on "art" to "only things men are allowed to do" off my history, jerkwad.
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Flackette Goes Retro
02/02/09

@Eyebrows McGee: Word. When a male historian delivers a pair of cabled hand-knit socks on 5 double pointed toothpick thin needles to me, then he is allowed to tell me how needlework is not real art.
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bangers
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
if you think those shoes are sexy, you should have seen louis xiv's!!
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PhillyLass
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
I hand out shit like this to my students as cautionary tales of how NOT to practice history.
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bluebears
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
Yeah, I mean I get it, its a little silly but the portrait of her that existed for years was also skewed by the men who wrote it and by their own perspective. History is always shaped more by the writers than the actual historical figures at least on the surface in big overview books. So they want Martha to be a little more appealing to modern women, its somewhat annoying but is it really that bad. nah. kinda interesting actually.
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rocknrollunicorn
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
"diminutive and plump...neither beautiful nor brilliant. She lacked artistic skill, except perhaps in fine needlework. The letters she wrote were an incoherent jumble of affection and gossip."

Well, what the hell? This is precisely how I will one day be described in history books. Well, not diminutive. But otherwise, yeah.
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Rare Affinity
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
Amongst her allegedly creditable attributes Martha "capably ran the five plantations left to her when her first husband died." The slaves most have been so grateful to have had such a good looking dame, mincing around in her purple and silver sequinned high heels, as their owner. Their lives would really have been blighted had she been a fat and frumpy broad.
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Lizawithazee
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
But did you check out those stars and bars on Betsy Ross? Rowr.
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Reinette (wants a threeway with Gambit and Wolverine)
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
As a historian myself, though my emphasis is not on American history: it's one thing to break away from a predominant interpretation to bring attention to qualities about Martha Washington that previous historians deemed unimportant, as long as their postulations have the evidence to back it up. Sexing her up for the express purpose of making her relevant to today's woman, thereby insulting the intelligence of today's woman...

History, UR Doin it Rong.

History can be titillating all on its own, especially if you study Russian history. Lawdy above, all the blood, vodka, sex, and plausible deniability...*fans self*
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PhillyLass
02/02/09

@Reinette: So much word. And swap out vodka for rum punch, and you've got a pretty good description of early America!
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Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
I have a vague remembrance of admiring Martha Washington, from reading a children's biography which spanned her whole life. It never mattered to me how frumpy or bad at crafts she was. To hear now that she was at one time skinny and hot(not mutually exclusive) doesn't make me like her more. Why would it?

The kind of thing that does turn me off is that the spellcheck on my Flock browser wants me to change the word "foremothers" to "forefathers", "stepmothers" or "housemothers" So we can be madonnas, whores, or men, huh, flock?
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funnyface
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
Plus, it's not like they made her look like a slut. More like someone who would have hung out with Felicity Merriweather.

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Maiden Curly Crown O'Portugues-Winchester
02/02/09

@funnyface: who wouldn't have hung out with felicity? spunky, sprightly colonial girls FTW!
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Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense!
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
There are shoes in history! Well why didn't you say so! Of course I'm interested now! Shoes my lady brain understands.
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boxspelunker
02/02/09

@Lizard in the Wires: They did? Since when? I thought shoes were brand-new. Oh, why didn't anyone tell me?
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Maritsa
02/02/09

In reply to How To Make Martha Washington "Sexy" To Women: Shoes, Silly!
Awesome. So now even dead women have to be sexy to pique our interest.
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