It's hard to understand and describe the situation in the country; the Tutsis — the tribe slaughtered in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994 — are leading an army against the government. 5.4 million people have died from war-related causes in the Congo since 1998, which one organization calls "the world’s deadliest documented conflict since WW II." And the majority of deaths were from "secondary" causes: malaria, diarrhea, pneumonia and malnutrition. Preventable, and treatable, under different circumstances. But Ashley Judd says that women and children "tend to be the most vulnerable and the most exploited and the most underserved and so there is probably a gender inequality factor that contributes to the lack of attention that's being given."

Judd's experiences in the Congo — especially when she met with the many, many women who had been brutally raped — had a real impact on her. "I was flat on my back for three weeks after," she says. (She went to a doctor and then a psychologist, who diagnosed her with "plain old straight-up grief.")

Judd is extremely articulate about the horrors she witnessed:

"[I sat with] a woman, who, through word of mouth, heard there was a clinic which could help a woman who had been raped. She had to figure out—in the midst of being stigmatized, in the midst of her physical agony, in the midst of incontinence and starvation—how to get herself walking, crawling to this clinic, only to find that it's overcrowded, because there are so many women, hundreds, if not thousands, just like her. And just imagine, this is a clinic that does nothing but genital reconstruction; […] The vagina will tear when being forced to accommodate either a rapist's anatomy or objects that are introduced: wood, rock, sticks, guns, bayonets. There will be perforation of the vaginal walls, perforation and ripping of the cervix, potentially, based on the extent of the penetration into the uterus. The wall between the rectum and vagina is ripped apart. The urethra, which goes to the bladder, is damaged. There is incontinence. The urine is constantly seeping out, because the muscles and mechanisms that hold the bladder intact are ruined; there is faecal incontinency, which of course can introduce faecal matter into the gut, which results in horrific infections."

Christopher Dickey says: "Inevitably, there are people who say that you are a voyeur." Responds Judd: "Let them come with me—Come 'voyeur' with me."

Ashley Judd’s Heart Of Darkness [Newsweek]
Ashley Judd's Congo Diary [TheCommunity]
Population Services International [Official Site]

The foundation was set up by Masarrat Misbah, the successful owner of the Depilex salon in Pakistan, whose work not only helped Liaqat and Akbar get training and find work in her salon (despite the complaints of some of her clients, who feel strange looking at disfigured women) but has helped them and more than 83 other women get the reconstructive surgery they need. Misbah was inspired to help disfigured women by a beggar outside of her salon, who was attacked by her acid-wielding husband.

Liaqat knows a little about that — married to a stranger by her family at age 15, the arrangement stated that she would live with her parents until she finished school. He didn't like that idea, so he stopped by the house one afternoon 5 years ago and threw acid on her. He's currently in prison facing attempted murder charges, but they're still married. She's slightly luckier than Akbar, who was married by the age of 22 to an abusive stranger. After they had a daughter, he doused her in kerosene while she slept and lit her ablaze. Unlike Liaqat, she lacked the support of her family, so she never filed charges in her attack and her now-ex husband has sole custody of their daughter. Both women hope that their jobs in Misbah's salon will help them achieve self-sufficiency in a society that relies on husbands to provide for their wives.

Lest anyone start in about this being cultural, or limited to Pakistan, we encourage you all to recall the story of Yvette Cade, a Maryland woman set ablaze by her husband while at work after she attempted to get a restraining order against him. Sadly for all of us, this kind of jealousy, possessiveness and abuse isn't limited to a country, a region or a religion.

Pakistani Women Burned By Acid Or Fire Rely On Beauty Of Others [LA Times]
Portraits Of Brutality [MSNBC]
Hargrave Sentences To Life In Prison For Murder Attempt [Washington Examiner]

On her way to the market, Lingani explained the ugly math: A year ago, she could feed her entire family a nutritious meal of meat and vegetables and peanut sauce for about 75 cents. But now the family gets much lower-quality food for twice the price … "When the children ask for food, we have to give it to them," she said. "We're mothers."

It's not just an economic problem; it's also cultural. Shopping and cooking, aka making sure the family has food, is "the job of women," Lingani's husband, a retired police officer, says. He has three wives. One, who is nearly blind, can't do chores. Lingani and the other working wife each give part of their salary to their husband, and he gets a bowl of food that is roughly the same size as one that the two wives and eight small grandchildren share. (The food is dried fish and baobab leaves flavored with potash, a paste made by boiling down water strained through ashes.)

A recent study has shown that people in Burkina Faso spend 75% of their income on food. Pregnant women and young mothers sacrifice medical care; some turn to prostitution to pay for food. Families who can't pay for school and school clothes take girls out of school. There's no upside here people, just something to think about when we're complaining about the price of Starbucks or gas.

Africa's Last and Least [Washington Post]
Report: Women Suffer Most In Food Crisis [UPI]

See, all this time I'd been assuming the developing countries would always imitate the useless consumption fads and phony neuroses that comprise the sorry substitute for purpose we call "lifestyle" around here. Otherwise, what is the West even good for? Well, funny you should ask, because I have an answer for that: nothing. We are good for nothing. Because I opened the fucking magazine, Anna. I couldn't not open it. And in a few flips of the page I almost regained my belief in something I should know better than anyone is a cynical con designed to sell shit to insecure women and perpetuate a lucrative unending cycle of the creation of new wants, which is to say: beauty. Beauty, of all things! Seriously, I was surprised as you. But check her out.







Who is this stunning broad? Well, look here, they actually give you her name. How gauche — and yet, useful! Don't strain your eyes; it's Lakshmi Menon.







And look, I Googled her! Would you believe she's the new face of Hermes? Not Hermes in India, Hermes in Everywheria!







Of course I fucking would. Look at her.







This girl could start the next Peloponnesian War and I would be like, "And?"







But let's face it, maybe the photographer deserves some credit. Who is this guy?







Do you think the only reason I don't open my magazines anymore is just fatigue with the anemic staged Leibovitz-Testino-Meisel-guy ripping off that guy who got AIDS sameness of Vogue and all the magazines that hire photographers on the sole basis that you launched their careers in Vogue??







Nah, probably not. She's just motherfucking stunning. Look, she doesn't even have a pedicure. Hot.

So anyway, don't blame yourself. The world is flat as the saying goes. So are magazines. Now, once upon a time it seemed like magazines were there to inspire you to get outside, walk around, learn a language, buy a fucking swimsuit, look at the pretty colors, educate yourself on the internal politics of whatever country's populist leader the CIA is trying to depose, and whatever else you're supposed to do. The flatness could almost convey the roundness, if you will. Yeah, I totally thought those days were over too. Maybe not! Oh, and don't bother coming in to get your stuff. Like Samantha says, we have people who can take care of that for us here. People whose children will one day put Bee out of a job, too!

Bestest,







Si

Earlier: Vogue India Debuts With Australian Blonde On Front, Bleeding Heart Inside?

Related: Wintour's Alleged Tryst With Conde Nast Boss [Gawker]

Ruth Eckhardt, owner of Ruth, a dress shop in London, imports prom dresses from the U.S. because she can't find British makers. After customs duties, the dresses are marked up to about $275, from about $100 in the U.S. Ms. Eckhardt says she travels to U.S. trade shows four times a year to pick out the frocks.

And that's not all! It could even breathe life into the ailing American auto industry!

Mr. Kendall and 15 friends arrived at their prom in a hotel in Surrey in a stretch Hummer, rented for about $1,470. Also pulling up: a vintage Rolls-Royce, five other stretch Hummers, six stretch limos, a firetruck emitting soap bubbles and fake smoke, and a vintage Triumph with a gloved chauffeur in a military uniform.

Um, on second thought, I think they're actually going to beat us at our own game here. Like the Beatles, only if they had started out covering Akon songs.

Alien Invasion: High School Prom Lands In England, Causes A Bother [WSJ]
Hummer Up For Sale [Jalopnik]

"But this is London!" marveled one guy, an agreeable but astonished Australian. Admittedly, I am in the financial district, and I realize there are neighborhoods where alcohol and food can be found after eleven p.m., or where you can get a tampon of your preferred absorbency on a Sunday morning, but a rather epic walk through numerous neighborhoods on Saturday evening became almost spookily quiet at times, and yeah, it's enough to make you appreciate New York, but if it weren't there would also be: the hackery-smothered newspapers, the $8 public transportation fare and the weird almost compulsive devotion to being "green," which began with an offer to offset my carbon emissions through the Virgin Airways Duty Free service — I actually would have done this, but after takeoff was delayed five hours I slept through it — and even riddles the menu at this pub, where the rolls are all organic and the tuna is allegedly "sustainable"…you would think it would not be a sustainable business model to serve food this crap, but whatever. Anyway, I should point out here that I don't really have a problem with the environment, nor do I have a problem with London, but in the same way that I wonder why people so slavishly devote themselves to something as vast and nebulous as the environment with so little mention of its inhabitants, I feel like London would be better if it felt more inhabited. Maybe it's the weather; even Primrose Hill on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon felt a bit desolate.

Anyway, I'm here for a Guardian-sponsored panel on Tuesday, and until Wednesday I'll be doing this job from unseasonably cool Brittania. Please don't whine about how this post is biased and unfair to the empire because obviously there are a lot of good things about London if you can get past the whole "no grid" thing, such as: it's obviously fucking gorgeous and shit; I will get to that later. In the meantime, London Jezebels, if you have anything you'd like me to weigh in on now that I'm here, or any thoughts about the future of journalism I should incorporate into my talk tomorrow, you know how to reach me.

Love Moe

Last Monday, she and her husband had just sat down in her fourth-floor apartment to watch a police soap opera on DVD when the dormitory, which houses dozens of factory workers, began shaking violently…He flung an arm around her as they sprinted for the bathroom eight feet away. The entire building collapsed right as they got there, knocking them to the ground. The wooden bathroom door slammed against Mr. Wang’s back. Clouds of dust filled their lungs.

They were trapped for 28 excruciating hours.

They had to take turns breathing. When Ms. Li took a deep breath, her chest expanding, Mr. Wang held his breath…“I don’t think I can make it,” he told his wife, Li Wanzhi, his face just inches from hers, their arms wrapped around each other. She sensed he was giving up. “If God wants to kill us, he would have killed us right away,” she said. “But since we’re still alive, we must be fated to live.”

Sigh.

They have no home to return to, but that is another problem for another time.
“The only thing we had was each other,” Mr. Wang said. “We encouraged each other to live on, and we said once we got out, we’d live a good life and care for each other. Now we have a new start.”

Like Barry, Mara has dabbled in youthful radicalism. Here, her "the only Bush I trust is my own" pose.

In recent years she has been accused of being too refined, elitist.

But that belies her red-blooded agrarian roots!

And it's a little too, uh, "raw" for us but here she displays her willingness to bend over backwards (or anyway, bend over) to serve the people! (What are those people doing there anyway?

Former Topless Model Joins Berlusconi's Cabinet As Equalities Minister [Daily Mail]
Berlusconi's Pin-Up Ministerin [Stern]
Related: Italiy Embraces Silvio, Again And Again [Economist]

The wife has left Mr. Abdel-Qader and gone into hiding; he's been relieved of his duties but won't be charged with any crimes:

Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They are men and know what honour is,' he said...'I don't have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman. 'People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.

'I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,' he said, his voice swelling with pride. 'My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.'

"My Daughter Deserved To Die For Falling In Love" [Guardian]
Related: How Moqtada Al-Sadr Won Basra

So. First things first! How the hell did you wind up in Yemen? And are you scared of Al Qaeda?
I am trying to think of how to best sum it up... I worked as a fashion editor in NYC for about 6 years and when 9/11 happened, I started wondering about Islam and why people hated the U.S. so much — I was not into interna'tl politics at ALL at that time — so I started studying Arabic and eventually left my job at the magazine I was working for (Good Housekeeping) and went to Cairo for 3 months. When I came back, I entered a grad program for journalism and tried to keep up with my Arabic study. So last summer I came to Yemen to do some intensive language courses and loved it before I finished my masters in Dec, I heard about an opportunity with the Yemen Times and I decided to take the job so I moved here for one year, beginning in January.

Ok, as for the evacuations: There have been a number of attacks on foreigners here starting last summer in July. Things were calm for a while but then recently there was a mortar attack on the US Embassy in the capital (Sana'a), and then about a week or so later, there was an attack on a residential facility that mainly housed oil workers and supposedly some diplomatic staff. After the residence attack, the US Embassy ordered all non-emergency staff to leave Yemen. Actually, many MANY people think that there will be a civil war here soon. It is kind of terrorism's last frontier- the gov't has a very shaky hold on power and there is now fighting going on in the North, the South and some central areas. Also, our gov't and the Yemeni gov't are having lots of problems right now since all the people that have been released from Guantanamo have been asked to sign papers saying that they will not carry out terrorist activities anymore. Obviously this ain't going over so well with in the States and now with the recent two attacks, the US is even more angry. So the rest of us Americans here are kind of waiting for our government to evacuate US any day now.

So does the United States think the ex-Guantanamo guys somehow spearheaded the recent attacks? Because Yemen has always been 1. somewhat out of control and 2. Al Qaeda friendly right? (I know 2 hijackers were apparently Yemeni, though they may have been Saudi born.) And...fuck. Tell me about where you worked in New York, and whether you miss it, and now that you're being evacuated and dodging mortarfire etc. etc. would you still tell anyone bored and unfulfilled at a fashion magazine to get the fuck out of New York and learn about the real world while they can?

Ha! Well, I still have lots of friends in that fashion-y/beauty world. But I find this a million times more fulfilling for sure. I think my daily life is a lot less 'sexy' than you might think, seriously! As for Al-Q, they have taken credit for all the attacks. And they are not only active but VERY popular here.

Really? But Yemen always seemed SO GLAMOROUS.

SUPER glam, let me tell you!

Do you chew qat? I've always wanted to chew that.

I am so impressed you know about it! I have, but I hate. And I hate what it does to this country.

Well it is really poor, right? Has the media interviewed a lot of the Guantanamo guys or are they allowed to talk?

Well, the ones that were released have kind of disappeared. but I think a few of them have spoke to media. Mostly Arabic-language sources though. The ones still at Gitmo are completely sealed off, cant even talk to their families. I talk to their lawyers pretty often though, since that's one of my beats

Is there oil there? Why is it so undeveloped? I have no concept of Yemen's history. But their oppression of women kind of makes you question all those theories about how rich natural resources are bad for economic diversification/women. Maybe just, women are screwed no matter what the natural resource situation?

Nutshell: it was a divided country until 1990 with a socialist-USSR-aligned south. and a religious, super poor north. Almost none of the country has oil but that hasn't stopped people from trying to dig. It is still REALLY divided in spirit. The British ruled the south until 1962 but mainly their economy is their paltry oil supply and qat which is sad.

Well I would buy some qat. is it legal here?

It is in fact not legal in the US and there was a big QAT ring (who knew?) that was busted last year in Dec! But that doesn't mean you can't try it anyway. It is also chewed in Ethiopia and Somalia and I think a few other countries as well. But it seriously is gross and tastes like hell, plus the high is not good. It's like being on a super-coffee high, and lots of people feel crazy/depressed afterwards. it makes you talk a lot (what I hear cocaine is like)

Ah, that's what I "hear" cocaine is like. So.... one thing I have been fascinated by is why Yemen doesn't seem to be in the news here more often. You have TERROR, after all.

Well, it's kind of a black hole. People don't know a lot about it and it's poor as all hell. It's like how our media covers Africa in a way. And things have been active lately but they were quiet for some years. I think it has to do with the government and Al-Qaeda trying to show people that the government is weak. There are always protests going on here and I thought I was going to be ambushed at one of the for the Gitmo (current) detainees. Some of the guys there were like, "You are Satan."

How are your living conditions? Do you live with other foreigners or in a university dorm or something? How much do you get paid and what is there to spend money on? What's it like to be a woman?

I get paid less than $500/month, but my rent in Yemen is SUPER low. There are a couple nice things to buy here, but not many. Yemen is great in lots of ways and that is def one of them. Some of the not so great ways include the BEYOND-limited rights of women here. I am talking about no cell phone talking in the street, okay, no TALKING in the street period for women...no laughing for women. No laughing! Yo have to wear full-body coverage at all times, but foreigners don't need to cover their hair.

No talking in the street, no laughing...what if you just went into the middle of the street and laid a really loud fart? Do you get caned for laughing, like in Singapore for graffiti?

Well, if you were Yemeni, your whole family would probably disown you because you disgraced them or some like bullshit. I have to go though, I'm meeting a friend for dinner and women aren't supposed to be out after sunset. But it will cost less than two dollars!

When the pageant first started, over fifteen years ago, the inmates had no supplies. The winner made her dress out of plastic bags from the prison kitchen. Now the women are allowed to use hairspray, lipstick, nail polish — stuff not usually allowed in the prison. The pageant is the subject of a BBC Two special program which airs tonight. There's something poignant about incarcerated women getting to feel special — even if just for one day. But these women are criminals. And does the pageant emphasize the sexist idea that a woman is only valuable if she is pretty? Or is it worth it to have a much-needed bright spot in a drab, imprisoned Siberian existence?

Siberian Prison's Beauty Pageant [BBC]

But one among us asked of a man she was seeing, "If I had to become a refugee, could I do it with him?" In my friend's case, the guy flunked and was given the boot. But that question, that standard, has remained with me. If you lost your creature comforts, if Katrina struck your neighborhood, who could make you laugh, care for you, remain curious about you and retain your curiosity?

Why Can't We [Nation]

But at the same time, one in five young Frenchmen reported "no interest in sexuality." Older ladies? (Maybe the moms of those guys?) They're totally into indoor sports: 9 out of 10 women over 50 are sexually active today, compared to just 50% cent of that age group in 1970.

Of course, men are still sleeping with more women (guys between 30 and 49 reported a "lifetime sexual partner" average of 12; women in the same age group reported an average of 5). So this whole "sexual predator" thing is just rabble-rousing paranoia-inducing bullshit; like horny French women are going attack les garçons and force them to have sex? French guys are sleeping with double the number of people, so clearly they're enjoying the new "liberation." As for the numbers: Just give les femmes some time, they'll catch up.

French Women 'Are The Sexual Predators Now' [Telegraph]
More Sex Please, We're French [Time]

There are worse risks in the Ivory Coast: Being female at all. Women are being gang-raped, abducted and forced into sexual slavery in the country — as well as Liberia and Sierra Leone. Amnesty International reports case after case of girls and women, ages "under 12" to 63, assaulted by armed men. Human Rights Watch records the rape of children as young as 3. Rapes are conducted by as many as 30 or 40 men, and, reports the L.A. Times, "Many women were raped so incessantly and so brutally — with sticks, knives, gun barrels, burning coals — that they died." (We suggest reading the entire article but with this caveat: Be prepared to scream or cry.) What sayeth "Bobaraba" hitmakers DJ Mix and DJ Eloh? "If a woman goes dancing and wants to take two or three treatments, no problem," DJ Mix says. "But we don't say to girls that they must take treatment to enhance your bottom, no."

'Bottom' Dance Inspires Rear Injections [UPI]
A War On Women [LA Times]

Fujita has written three self-help books for unpopular guys, and though he declines to reveal details of his technique, it does include flaming wallets, talking ferrets and animated algae balls. Unlike Mystery, Fujita doesn't seem to employ "negging" or insults, but he does use pop psychology: a deck of "psychoanalytic" cards help him determine what kind of girl he has picked up.

On one hand, Fujita seems to be making an impact on otherwise hopeless men; Hachioji Robocop (?!), 27, says, "Since joining Mr. Fujita's school, I have had five successful relationships. I lost my virginity six months into the course, and now I can now communicate with women. I'm very grateful." On the other hand, is it okay to teach guys to be deceitful and shystery with ladies? Even if, without said shady skills, they may never get laid? And looking at these bewigged and bespectacled dudes, don't they just reek of desperation?

Inside the Bizarre World of Japanese Pickup Schools, Students of the Pickup School for Geeks Gallery [Wired]

Earlier: My Mid-Morning Conversation With VH1's "Mystery"
Why Insulting Women Works. Wait, You Mean It Works?
This Just In

• Australia: newspapers ran sweet musings from lovebirds, like this one, from a dude named Johnny — "I love 2 Things. Cars & u." Swoon! Also, hopeful singletons did some speed dating on gorgeous Bondi Beach. Not a bad way to ring in the 14th.
• China: couples in Hong Kong have co-opted the Finnish Tradition of wife-carrying. It's pretty self-explanatory: you race against other dudes whilst carrying your wife. According to Reuters, the tradition dates back to the 19th century, when bandits used to steal wives from neighboring villages. In northern China, V-day is a leeetle bit more staid. In Ching Mai, teens are giving blood in a campaign called "I'd rather lose blood than virginity."
• Japan: Valentine's Day is only celebrated by women in Japan — men give their honeys presents in March on a day called "White Day." 500 women went to a mountain shrine called Kuzuryu to pray for love. "I prayed for the man I love to fall in love with me," 25-year-old Ayumi Sakai told Reuters. Aw! Girl, find yourself a man who loves you back instead of going to a shrine to pray for this loser. But that's just my opinion.
• Kenya: after several months of ethnic clashes, Nairobi flower mongers are preparing gift baskets of red roses. (Those flowers should totally make the 45 women raped each day during the current Kenyan violence feel so much better!)
• Philippines: In this very Catholic country, the Cardinal suggests attending mass or saying the rosary to keep your mind off nookie. "It's best to look for honest-to-goodness entertainment," he told Reuters. Sounds... fun.
• Thailand: the Thai government wants to make sure that teens are not getting it on this V-Day. Every February 14th they turn on all the lights at full blast in public parks and urge parents to make their teens come home early. Oh well, there's always making out in the bathroom at McDonald's!

Love In The Air From Bondi To Bangkok To Beijing [Reuters]
Wife-carrying Valentine Contest [Reuters]
Kenya Embraces Valentine's Day [Reuters]
Rape Is A Weapon Used In Ethnic Violence [AP]
No Sex On Valentine's, Thai Police Warn Teens [Reuters]

French men will just give you The Eye, and Frenchwomen respond. "Frenchmen still know that an admiring look flatters a woman and gives them pleasure," explains an editor named Christine. Australian guys tend to rely on booze; one guy explains, "If you're sitting there at a barbecue, and you've got a beer, a girl's drinking the exact same drink, well then you've got something in common just to start up with." Romantic!

As for American men, writer Chris Ayres claims there are three stages of seduction: "A conversation, a phone number, and then a date. Strategy, planning and execution." Cold and calculating, but sweet? No matter the country or method, why does this age-old topic (picking up women) refuse to die? Are men really so clueless? Is this why we have people like Mystery? Clearly men around the world are meeting women — we're not suffering from a population shortage. But how come they're all convinced they don't know what the hell to say? (Also, what's the worst line you've ever heard? Personally, I love when a guy just says, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!" like I've literally stepped on his genitals.)

The Best Chat-Up Lines In The World [Times]
Earlier: My Mid-Morning Conversation With VH1's "Mystery"

The UK's Times claims that the Japanese consider the Princess to be a failure: She did not produce a male heir (she has a daughter - the horror!) and has been too ill to perform her duties. But commenters on the paper's website paint a different picture: "I wonder... Why she could go out for dinner at a posh restaurant on the same day she cancelled a ceremony held by the emperor - she could stay home if she was too unwell to attend the ceremony," writes Kyoko. Adds someone identified only as a "Japanese citizen" :"It seems lots of Westeners believe Masako is a poor victim of the old-fashioned custom just because she is Harvard-educated and Japan is too old-fashioned. The point is not her education, but her strange behavior and her mysterious illness. She has been 'ill' for years and skip [sic] official duties, but her private life is very energetic. Lots of expensive shopping, lavish dinners, Disney Land, trip to Netherland, skiing, horse riding, etc on taxpayer's money."

Does a public figure — even when suffering psychologically — have a responsibility to her public? Is a depressed person not allowed to eat truffles? Is Japan old-fashioned, or merely practical? And can anyone explain to us what all the fuss is about?

Japan: Princess Becomes Fair Game [New York Times]
Tabloids turn against the Crown Princess Masako [Times]
Princess Masako's 'High Life' Shocks Japan [Telegraph]

He took a seat in a booth with two Russian girls, but he kept looking to the stage, where she was dancing. Meeting his eyes, she thought, "Who is that old foreigner? Does he have any money?

Murray's thoughts were more lyrical."As I caught her glance, I felt she was drawing me into her very soul," he writes in his 2006 memoir, "Murder in Samarkand" (called "Dirty Diplomacy" in the 2007 U.S. edition). "She looked lost and anxious, like she really didn't want to be there. She defied the impossible by exuding, at the same time, such ripe sexual attraction and such innocent vulnerability. Her body invited sex while her eyes screamed, 'Save me.' "

So now they are together, albeit broke, in London; she made a play out of her life story, he sold his memoir rights to A Mighty Heart director Michael Winterbottom.

She doesn't love him; he doesn't ask her to; he wonders if she's incapable of love; she doesn't know; he adores her; it's probably fair to say his teenage children do not. He babbles on just like any expat dude about cultural relativism to excuse his philandering. But it doesn't matter, he's found true romance, and heroism. If only that were true. Does he think it's true ? You hope he doesn't. You'll never know until she leaves him.

Great story, though.

The Envoy And His Navel Liason [Washington Post]

Ms. Applebaum points out that model Natalia Vodianova, who was born in Russia and has been a Vogue cover girl, would not have had the opportunity to be the face of Calvin Klein (and move away from her mother's abusive boyfriends) in the USSR before 1989. But, points out the Free Exchange writer, clearly Vodianova had parents, so her "superior" DNA was there whether she had access to makeup or not. In other words, eff makeup, eff Vogue.

But there is one thing Russian women can thank us for: Lung cancer and drug addiction. The number of Russian females smoking cigarettes went from 7% in 1992 to almost 15% by 2003, reports UPI. Dr. Anna Gilmore from the University of Bath says, "The fact that the transnational tobacco companies have managed to drive up male smoking rates from already high levels is incredibly alarming — there is already a major demographic crisis in Russia and smoking, which already accounts for nearly half of male deaths." Deaths of Russian women from smoking are not quite as high but females will "catch up fast," Dr. Gilmore warns. Vogue, Revlon & R.J. Reynolds: Isn't globalization great?

Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From? [Slate]
The Market For Beauty And Other Excellences [The Economist]
Russian women smokers have doubled [UPI]

Vanessa Muscara, 31, hails from Rome but lives in on and off in London. She says she she'll never settle down with an Englishman: "They never flatter you," she points out. "However much of an effort I made for my ex, he never said, 'You look great.' The best I'd get was, 'You look well.' It drove me crazy. Women complain about Italian men being sleazy, but what's wrong with a 'Ciao, bella' when you're looking your best?"

Ms. Llewellyn Smith calls British men "emotionally constipated" and notes that they have fully "embraced the cowardly art of text-messaging." The women she interviewes do try and muster up some praise for the Brits: "British men are more articulate and amusing than Americans," Jennifer Rohn admits. Adds Maryam, 31, who moved to London from Iran four years ago: "They have what we call 'clean eyes.' They don't stare at other women when their wife isn't there - unlike the Spanish." She also says: "If they weren't so lazy, they'd be fantastic." So what's up across the pond? Are the guys really so terrible? Do we have James Bond to blame for our unrealistic image of the Brit as a dashing charmer? Sure, it's a sweeping generalization, but between Tad Safran, Jude Law and the men the ladies in the article had the misfortune of encountering, are British men the worst? Guess a foxy accent isn't nearly enough.

The trouble with British men [Telegraph]
Earlier: British Lass Responds To Lady-Basher Tad Safran
"Sexist Of The Year" Tad Safran Has No Shame
Man Named "Tad" Insults Women On Both Sides Of Pond

Meanwhile, in the US, women who are the daughters of immigrants also make choices their parents just can't understand, according to an article in Newsweek. Katherine Chon's family arrived in New Hampshire from South Korea when Ms. Chon was 2 months old. Ms. Chon was premed at Brown when she decided to form the Polaris Project, now one of the largest anti-human-trafficking organizations in the country. "It was really hard for my parents," says Katherine, now 27. "They gave up a life in Korea; they were working 80 to 90 hours a week, and had so many life stresses so their children could get a great education and have a comfortable life."

Do children have a responsibility to fulfill the dreams of their parents? What if the parents risked their lives or made huge sacrifices to make sure the child had opportunities not afforded to the older generation? Or is your life yours, to do with as you please, no matter what your parents expect or had to go through?

Consider Irshad Manji, who was raised in Canada after her parents emigrated from Uganda during Idi Amin's crackdown on South Asians. Her mother is a devout, mosque-going Muslim. Ms. Manji is an openly gay broadcast journalist who wrote a book called The Trouble With Islam. "There are so many people who don't talk to me [because of the book]," Ms. Manji's mother, Mumtaz says. "But who cares? My daughter comes first."

Pursuing Happiness Behind The Veil [LA Times]
The New Generation Gap [Newsweek]

Possibly! A survey says that 6 out of 10 Italian women claim to be "sexually dissatisfied." Sounds like the men aren't the only ones taking care of themselves.

Mamma's Boys [Times]
Earlier: Sympathy For The Modern Man? Uh, No.

Image from La Dolce Vita

It's very 'our times.' Carla is great: chic, modern, speaks many languages, perfectly educated, beautiful. I see only quality... I loved the Chiracs, but politics are like fashion: It's about change and there has to be a first lady in a place like the Elysée Palace. Why not such a beautiful one?...[Bruni can] reinvent that look — it will be great for the image of France.

I have been a part of a break with a deplorable tradition in our country: hypocrisy and lies... Carla and I have decided not to lie. I don't allow myself to judge [my predecessors] [and their extramarital relationships], everyone must live as they see fit... There is a strong chance that you will learn about [his marriage to Bruni] after it's already done... You've understood: it is serious... It isn't the [newspaper] that will set the date.

Head of the Marilyn modeling agency (which counts Bruni as a client), Robert Ferrell, muses: "She's gorgeous, she has a great sense of style and she has her own mind. Every fashion industry worldwide could use someone like her as their country's first lady." Okay, so let's make sure we're getting this straight: We should be picking our first ladies based on how pretty they are? And how much they can help a respective country's fashion industry? No wonder our world is in such a sorry state. With logic like this — well, we can assume that Huckabee might as well give up his bid for president now. Also, we seriously encourage Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to put aside their differences and just run as a ticket, because seriously we cannot think of a foxier, more fashionable spousal coupling than Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama. If that's not a Ralph Lauren ad in the making, we don't know what is!

Sarkozy's Sidekick Bruni Ready to Ramp Up Style [WWD, sub req'd]
Sarkozy Calls Relationship 'Serious' [NY Times]

Jones's cuckold, "Daphne" is an example of everything that's wrong with what she calls "mindbogglingly stupid" American women. (How charming that, instead of damning the man in question, Jones takes the tried and true tactic of blaming the woman.)

The dreaded Daphne, who lived in Brooklyn in what was probably a 3sqft bedsit, spent a lot of money on pedicures (I know this because I intercepted his texts to her, in praise of her toes), was incredibly self-obsessed (oh dear God, the e-mails about how she wanted to work for a non-profit organisation stretched to five pages), not funny at all, and obviously in possession of a very loose set of morals.

When she finally gets to her date with the Tadster, you feel like this Liz Jones character deserves the asshole. And how did the date go? Not well! Says Liz: "His three words to describe me were 'bitter, driven and forward-looking', which would have been the most damning words of the evening ('Well, you do talk about your ex-husband all the time'), had he not then gone on to say he only fancies blondes. Charming."

But even after all that, Liz "did quite like him," and wonders why Tad doesn't ask her about New Year's Eve plans. Why doesn't Tad want to see Liz again? I'll go with the Daily Mail commenters on this one: "She sounds like a miserable old bag with bad attitude."
The man who called British women 'ugly' goes on a date - with Liz Jones [Daily Mail]

Related: Liz Jones's Diary [You Magazine]

Earlier: "Sexist Of The Year" Tad Safran Has No ShameMan Named "Tad" Insults Women On Both Sides Of Pond
Why Do Wives Blame The Other Woman For Their Husbands' Wandering Weiners?

It is not binary: you can have a personality and an arse that doesn't take up two seats on the bus. If you can retain your wonderful, cheerful, sweet, fun personality and be beautiful is that not better? Or, Anna L from Kent, is your sweet personality inextricably tied to your being a size 16... like Samson's strength is to his hair? I don't suggest that British women take the money from your education fund and put it towards plastic surgery. Nor do I suggest you take the hours per week dedicated to cultural and intellectual pursuits and use them for beauty treatments. Just take the time you dedicate to sitting on the sofa eating femur-sized Toblerones while watching EastEnders.

Oh Please, You Lard-Butt British Frumps Have Got Off Too Lightly [Times]
Earlier: Man Named "Tad" Insults Women On Both Sides Of Pond
Related: American Beauty? [Times]

He admits that beauty treatments are "vastly more expensive" in England, but puts the blame on proper English manners:

American women have no qualms about telling their friends, in no uncertain terms, when they look like crap, or have put on weight, or are dressed like a bag-lady. They talk of the top aestheticians with a reverence usually reserved for Nobel laureates and trade cosmetic surgeon business cards the way that boys in playgrounds trade football cards. In Britain, women are too polite to set their friends straight. For some reason, being seen to make an effort with one's appearance is regarded as shameful among British women.

So who is this misogynistic, sexist slug known as Tad Safran? "The author is a screenwriter (single) who divides his time between London and Los Angeles," the Times tells us. Single? You don't say! A quick search reveals that Safran was one of nine writers credited with the screenplay for a crappy animated film called Doogal, which IMDB user "stinkyuu" claims "was the all-time boringest movie I have ever seen in my short life." 'Nuff said.

American Beauty? [Times]

Strangely enough, some of the same women who would be happy in a sexless marriage must have said they still find their spouses sexy, since 72% of wives gave their partners a 7/10 or higher on a scale of sexual attractiveness. Maybe that British-dudes-are-bad-in-bed stereotype has something to it, since apparently British birds prefer chocolate to sex as well.

Shopping is better than sex, say four in ten women [Daily Mail]
British women prefer chocolate to sex [China Daily]

But the guys who make a "fetish" out of correlations like that — they're probably not the type you'd find speed-dating. They're usually not that decisive, and they don't want that many choices, or to subject themselves to that volume of scrutiny. Sometimes they're gay-ish, sometimes they're just busy, there are tons of issues involved and suffice it to say, you probably don't want to be with someone whose issues number in the "tons." Not that they'd necessarily give you the choice; I lived in Hong Kong for two years and I think I got laid once. And that would be why I no longer live there!

What of the Chine