Social networking may be the last refuge of the 21st Century scoundrel. Case in point: Crocsideas.com! Pulling the laziest designer trick of lazy designers everywhere, Crocs wants you to help them make their shoes into something half-decent. In the nauseous language of corporate prosumer sites everywhere, you can Join The Community, Post An Idea, and View & Vote (on the Community's Ideas). You can Share, Listen, and Innovate.

Isn't that sweet? Crocs wants you to tell it exactly what you think of it! And maybe to suggest what it might do that would be worth buying.

If crowd-sourcing its product development seems like scraping the bottom of the barrel, that's because it is. It wasn't always this way. When the company went public in 2006, it raised $208 million, and had the biggest stock market debut of any footwear company since people have been wearing shoes. One feverish day in October, 2007, the stock price hit $74.75. Various people have debated what this early-oughts vogue for spongy, candy-colored clogs meant, tying the trend in to America's deep desire for comfort in the aftermath of 9/11 and in the run-up to war ("America wanted a shoe that nurtured it, cradled it, made it feel warm and safe and loved...they quickly became the bacteriostatic security blanket for our souls"), or making them into cheap and cheerful symbols of the now-passed economic boom.

The reversal came swiftly. The company lost $181 million in 2008; it scrambled to service its debts, and laid off 2,000 employees. People stopped just buying them; attempts at branching out into Crocs clothing and Crocs cell phone holders and those idiotic Crocs hole charms, never caught on. (CEO John Duerden says the company was caught in "a perfect storm.") What happened to Crocs calls to mind those animals who evolve so perfectly to meet certain niche conditions that they find they can tolerate no others, like those amphibians who die in the South American jungle when the water level of their stream rises an inch. Crocs had one good idea: making cheap, funny looking but comfortable clogs in a cute array of colors, suitable for people who wanted to make a statement about caring more about comfort than about making statements. Unfortunately, the perforated foam rubber clog was widely copied by cheaper imitators, the fad blew up, and the market went away. Everyone who wanted Crocs, had them. The stock is currently trading at around $5.31, which is not quite its all-time low.

So how do you solve a problem like Crocs? We thought long and hard about this. OK, not really. But wouldn't it be great if...

• They had "no-slip soles and a secure upper," says Margaret. "You know, like actual shoes. My mom owns a pair (which, thankfully, she only wears while gardening) and I slipped them on last week when I was going to get the mail. I tripped and almost fell on my driveway."
• Take away the holes, says Hortense, who noticed the company pushing holey clogs for winter wear. "NOBODY wants holes in their winter shoes. They look cheap and stupid (and not to mention cold and drafty)."
• I say they should take a cue from, you know, every other shoe company on earth — even the ones who might have had less successful IPOs! — and make a better array of styles. Croslite, the proprietary foam that Crocs are made out of, is actually kind of a cool material: it's lightweight, it's waterproof, it doesn't absorb sweat or odors, and it molds to the wearer's foot under body heat. So why is it only ever used for ugly clogs? Why not make sandals? Jellies? Flip-flops? Think minimal, not clunky. Jesus, do we have to draw you guys a picture?
• Imagine Crocs going back to its nautical roots. (Company co-founder Scott Seaman originally thought they would make the perfect boat shoes.) Just think of the collab potential here! We're thinking: CrocSiders. For starters
• Is there any way we could get a pet line out of this?

Otherwise, we may have to break out the big guns, and think rebranding. Instead of Crocs, the cuddly Millennial shoe, why not be Sharks? Oh, wait, somebody did that.

Image via Weboo Shoes

CrocsIdeas [Official Site]
Crocs? They Were So Economic Boom [LATimes]
Can Crocs Be More Than A One-Hit Wonder? [Time]
Crocs On The Rocks [The Smart Set]

• Oh God: It is Spanx for your arms! Or rather, industrial strength tape to hide your excess skin on your upper arms.• More women are entering sports journalism but they are mostly expected to look hot, not to know anything about sports.• Here are some photos of Madonna's rumored Brazilian boy toy, Jesus Luz, who doesn't look a day over 16.• From Yves to Men's Vogue, Refinery29 made a list of the top 50 fashion-related brands/magazines/people that the world lost in 2008.• Don't just wrap up presents this holiday season: Trojan has launched a new holiday campaign where artists create short videos to promote condoms and Trojan donates condoms for every time a video is watched. • The Fug Girls list off the ten things they learned from celebrity fashion this year. Top of their list? Shopping a lot doesn't make you a fashion designer and always do the opposite of Solange Knowles, sartorial-wise.• Racialicious has republished the personal essay "The Not Rape Epidemic" from Yes Means Yes.• Two English women who worked in the Land Girls army during WWII reunited recently only to find that they lived just minutes away from each other.• Stella McCartney is opening up a shop near the Jardins du Palais Royal in Paris.• Craving a Burberry umbrella? Not sure on what is the proper etiquette for umbrella sidewalk-sharing? Read the Bumbershoot Manifesto.• Everything you ever wanted to know about the sexual life of spiders, but were too afraid to ask. • British scientists are working on a "sex chip" to stimulate pleasure centers of the brain with electric shocks.• With the economy going down, will women splurge on simple luxuries like lipstick over previous extravagant splurges? Economists think they will and they are calling it "the lipstick effect."•

Not many products in our society speak so neatly, so metaphorically, to bridging divides and appealing to everyone. Tims are worn by the rich and the poor, by kids in the inner city and outdoorsmen in the Rockies. Ladies wear Tims. Timberland is the independent voter.

And while Anna and Jennie both have Tory Burch flats, I would DEF steer clear of a Presidential candidates who supported that cold bitch. (Sorry Jezzes!) The female president of my most audacious hopes and dreams most certainly doesn't rock the Rockport/Naturalizer/dorky white sneaker DC lady shoeiform: a girl can never really LOVE a pair of "sensible" shoes, and a girl who can't love shoes is obvs...a lesbian!

But there's the rub! We can't have our female president browsing for Ferragamos whilst thousands of the lands most destitute go thirsty in an anarchic feces-strewn stadium either! In fact, we don't want her wearing pointy shoes whatsoever in times of war and sadness and poverty and human suffering probably.

No, we need her to be wearing shoes that indicates she is a uniter. Not a frivolous Cosmotinilini blue-state woman of loose morals! Not a fucking dyke! Just a solid, down-home American woman.

And OMG! Don't say "Uggs." Too polarizing.

Alas, Mitt Romney Doesn't Get The Boot Washington Post

Jennifer: Holy shit. Am I more offended by the open toe? Or the slingback? I feel like Faye Dunaway in Chinatown — I just keep going back and forth.
Thomas: Hell no.

Jennifer: Christ, even the gays are going to be reluctant to slip into a leopard print thong. (Or at least a leopard print thong you put on your foot.)
Thomas: Over my dead body.

Jennifer: Gay? Or Euro? Who would scoff at these more?
Thomas: Ok, these are actually sorta cool.
Jennifer: Are you sure you're straight?

Jennifer: My, what red shoes you wear 80-year old grandma lady!
Thomas: Are you crazy?

Jennifer: Excuse me, but did a lepruchan just throw up on your feet?
Thomas: I mean, if I had a green outfit — those would be he right shoes for it?
(Nick: Perfect for my yellow suit!)

Jennifer: Wow. Those are a lot...of...red.
Thomas: Wow: Those are a lot..of...red.

Says Bennett: "Pity on the gays in Chelsea who will want to live our their 'I want to be just like Sarah Jessica' fantasies through this medium."

Manolo Blahnik's Are Probably Not For Most Men [ABC News]
You've Got Male [Vogue UK]

But hey, women have been known to wear many items that impair "normal functions" — underwire bras, corsets, control-top hose, platform shoes, pencil skirts, circulation-halting jeans. The problem we have with these shoes is that they are ugly. Or are we the only ones?

At £330, the Surreal Shoes Whose Heels Will Keep You On Your Toes [Daily Mail]
Related: Junko Shimada or Marc Jacobs? [BryanBoy]